Note: In this episode, Elsa goes through a beautiful, beautiful ride.
Meanwhile, in Olaf's messy room...
"And then he said to me "Olaf! It's not okAAY to make fun of the elderly." Haha funny times! Anyway that was my vid blog, make sure you comment and fuckin subscribe on dat shit my ma-"
Before Olaf finishes, Elsa barges in, very angry. "OLAF."
"AY CARAMBA WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Olaf says before he gets grabbed by his carrot nose, getting dragged outside the Arendelle castle.
Elsa brings Olaf to the back of the castle and points to it. "Did you do this?!"
The castle wall is filled with copious amounts of graffiti and surrounded by French Revolution flags.
"Uuuuuh" Olaf tries to talk to Elsa. "Listen little dude."
"Don't call me dude." Elsa retorts back.
"Come on, anybody coulda done this shit, like there's been marches and protests for two weeks."
"Olaf, your own face is graffitied onto the walls with text saying Viva La Revolucion."
"Okay, ya got me, i am a comrade, but you know what? I am tired of being silenced! My voice will be heard, and the communist dream will come true in Arende-
"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?! You just graffitied random political sayings for a war tHAT ISN'T EVEN HAPPENING!"
"But da protest mang what about the protestz"
"It was a teacher march, Olaf. The schools are in protest, Olaf. You would have known this if you paid any attention, OLAF."
"Ah, whatever" Olaf dismisses it. "Those teacher fucks are afraid to rebel because their souls have been indoctrinated into the cult of our soulless government!"
"You literally don't understand any of those words you just said." Elsa says deadpanned.
"Pssh, typical 1% percenters."
Elsa blankly stares at nothing, processing that this is her life.
Then Elsa starts laughing in what seems like despair, she keeps laughing even more, like she's about to go crazy, and just goes inside. Meanwhile, Olaf is singing the Argentinian National Anthem while holding a Chilean flag.
Elsa is now in her office, and her laugh starts becoming a little bit more unhinged. And it would keep escalating...
Until Anna opens the door out of nowhere.
"HI ELS!" Anna excitedly says.
Elsa jumps and screams while doing a karate-like pose.
"Oh. Anna!" Elsa says. "Why did you barge in like a neighbor behind a picket fence!"
"Come on, Ms. Elsa Fancy Pants! You said you were on break today! Besides, don't you wanna have some playtime with me?"
"Anna, I'd like to hang out, but I'm busy now with the papers regarding the-"
"Come oooon, I have the dolls ready and everything!" Anna says this while she's holding up a rag doll. "Remember her?" Elsa looks scared by this weird doll and makes a whine.
"I'm just a raaaaaag dolllyyyyyy!" Anna sings to Elsa by bringing the rag doll to her face.
"Ahhh! Get it away, Ann, get it away!"
"Man, you're as tense as a scary book. Tell you what, how about we go somewhere you can relax and have fun!"
"Anna please, i don't know what could rela-" Elsa stops herself as a Ding comes into her mind. Then, she grows a mischievous smile on her face. "Anna."
"What?"
"I think it's time we go to the shack."
"Oh, the Love Shack restaurant by-?"
"No. To THE shack."
OLAF DRIVES ELSA INTO ALCOHOLISM
THIS IS ARENDELLE (a.k.a Crack)
Opening credits set to a short version of Next Time Might Be Your Time by Blue Gene Tyranny. All this happens as the Cast smiles at the camera.
You know the next time might be your time
For love and honor
To take the bother
Just to see this thing through
Cause that what friends are here for!
Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff are at a bar called The Shack, where everybody is either dancing and screaming or looking loopy and about to pass out.
Elsa takes a huge cup of Corona and downs it in the middle. "WooOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Ayayayayayayyyyy!" Anna cheers.
"Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff!" Kristoff barks.
"God, i love this place!" Elsa says excitedly.
"DONT YA MEAN THE SHACK?" Anna says loudly.
"AAAAAWLLLRIGGHT!" Elsa cheers.
"OWWWLLL CITY!" Anna screams.
"I'M SO SICK OF THE HOOOOBOOOS" Kristoff sings.
"Hee hee, hey Kris, that *hick* t-that ain't Owl City!" Anna drunkenly says before laughing.
"Hey, h-hey, y-you KNOW WHat MY fAvoRITE OWL CITY SONG IS?!" Kristoff says to both Elsa and Anna.
"WHAT'S THAT?" They both say in unison.
"WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT, WOOOOOWOWOOWOWOOOOOOOAH-"
Anna and Elsa start laughing hysterically to the point of falling out of their chairs.
"Hooooo, bartendah!" Elsa says to the bartender. "P-*hick* Pull me another one!"
Tiana, the bartender, approaches Elsa with a surprised look on her face. "Oh my god, Els! I haven't seen you this wasted since after Olaf tried to burn the Arendelle constitution!"
"Hoohoooo Don't worry y-your head, T-T-T*hick* Tiana! This is j-just the be-begig!" Elsa slurs her words.
"NO, IT'S THE BEGIGING!" Anna tries to correct this while laughing.
"g-gUYS! I think w-what Elsa means it's t-that it's the Begin! Begin now!" Kristoff tries to end the confusion.
"I'll have to drive you guys home again, won't i?" Tiana says it dejectedly.
"It's tim! I mean time! I g-gotta get home maaaaan!" Elsa whines.
"Doesn't Belle get here tomorrow?" Tiana reminds Elsa. "You can't be dilly-dallying around like a fool all day!"
"HAHAHAHAA-" Elsa laughs until she realizes what Tiana just said. "AAaaaooohshhhhh-" Elsa tries to get her words out until she eventually collapses on the bar floor.
Tiana is now in her car, not amused, driving Anna, Elsa, and Kristoff to the Castle.
As soon as they get near the Castle, Tiana gets out of the car, carrying all three of them. "Oh don't worry Tiana, this is the LAST time this will happen!" Tiana mutters to herself in annoyance.
And as she is doing this, she sees Olaf passionately screaming through a megaphone.
"AND THE AMENDMENT WILL ABOLISH THE UUUH THE SOMETHING WITH THE WI-THE PRESIDENT AND THE REPUBLIC AND SENSE OF RIGHT WILL RULE AND THE WELL THE RENT AND THE ELECTORAL-"
"Would you please help me here?!" Tiana says while struggling to carry them.
"Oh hey T." Olaf says completely changing in mood as Tiana looks annoyed at him. "Sorry baby I'm too busy fighting the revolution and state and something, so ask Marshmallow over there."
Marshmallow, a giant snowman, is sitting near a rock, looking sad because he misses Elsa so much.
"Hey Marsh!" Tiana yells out to Marshmallow. "Would you help me bring in Elsa and t-" As she says this, she almost drops them because she's so tired." t-the others to their room!"
"Elsa!" Marsh, excitedly grabs Elsa's body and gives her a big ol' hug. "I'm so glad my mom is back!"
"Dude, she isn't your fucking mom." Olaf says annoyed.
"OLAF!" Tiana says in shock. "What an insensitive thing to say!"
Marshmallow, as tall as he is, brings Elsa slowly to the open window of her room, while singing a lullaby. Olaf just rolls his eyes.
"Okay Marsh, now it's Anna and Kristoff's turn." Tiana says.
"O-okay." Marshmallow takes Anna and Kristoff's bodies fast and throws them to the windows where they fall and seem to break the window.
"MARSH!" Tiana reprimands Marshmallow.
"HAHAAAAA!" Olaf just laughs. "TOUCHDOWN BABY!"
Tomorrow morning, Elsa wakes up in her bed, rather tired from last night, with a big headache.
"Oh god...did...did Tiana bring us here for a 10th time?.."
A beat goes by.
"..."
She realizes Belle is coming over.
"AAAAAAAAAA!"
Smash cut to her opening the palace doors, looking her best to be cheerful.
"Alright, guys! My friend Belle from France is coming!"
"My back hurts so much!" Anna says in pain.
"So, i want her to have the best experience possible!"
"Dude, i have a cramp!" Kristoff can barely walk.
"So let's go wait for her at the garde-"
Elsa screams when she sees what happened to the garden. Or more accurately, the weed garden.
"My ganja garden baby!" Olaf says happily. "You said that one time that the medical resources of the Arendelle Hospital were scarce, so i planted all the sweetest Mary Jane in the garden for all of us to partake in!"
Elsa is suddenly breathing cartoonishly heavy into a paper bag.
Anna, now suddenly very angry, grabs Olaf by his head. "Olaf! You are this close to no internet for a year!"
Olaf stays silent for a beat. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
He then, at the speed of the roadrunner, frantically takes out all the weed in the garden, takes out the big Olaf's Dank Marijuano Stand outside, tells all the customers to "FUCK OFF" and scares them away by pretending to be a police officer with the outfit and everything, and throws all the weed and wood from the stand inside the castle.
"Done!" Olaf says with a forced smile on his face.
"Good. Now go inside." Anna orders Olaf.
"Y-yes!" Then he runs away to his room.
"Elsa, are you alright?" Anna asks with worry in her voice.
Elsa is recovering from her panic attack and then inhales and exhales.
"...y-yes...t-thank you.."
Kristoff notices someone coming to the garden. "Oh look everyb-" His back breaks."OOOOOWW IT's Belle!"
And speaking of the devil, Belle appears: she walks into the garden with her beautiful yellow dress, strings are playing while birds go to her while singing.
As all of this is happening, Elsa exclaims. "Oh my god! Belle!" She goes right over and hugs her. "You look so beautiful! How have you been doing?"
"Oh Elsa!" Belle hugs Elsa back. "It's been a while since i saw you, everything is sure wonderful!"
"Oh, i'm so glad! Let's enter inside!" Elsa guides Belle to the castle. "I wanna show you around the castle! Come on, Anna and Kristoff!"
"Didn't even introduce us." Anna and Kristoff say in unison.
Elsa then sees the castle covered in weed, grass, and broken wood. She looks like she has a short circuit in her brain.
"Oh..looks rather nice with all the grass here doesn't it, Elsa?" Belle says to Elsa.
"Wait here."
Smash cut to Elsa downing an entire bottle of wine.
Elsa enters the room with a big forced smile. "Let's come into the d-diner room!"
"Oh, i would love to have dinner with all of you!" Belle happily says.
"Uh Anna, did she-" Kristoff tries to say.
"I think she did." Anna confirms it.
Now, the three of them are having a nice dinner. Belle and Elsa seem to be enjoying themselves, especially Elsa, telling some goofy story about Eugene getting run over by a lowrider. She seems to be having fun imitating Eugene's screams.
"Hahahahaha! Oh Elsa, you're so funny!" Belle is in stitches.
Elsa giggles and looks at Belle with a look in her eyes, a deep, drunk look.
Anna and Kristoff look at each other with worried looks.
"So Elsa.." Belle says. "I actually wanted to tell you something. Since it took so long to get here, I'm actually gonna be staying over for a week!"
Elsa looks absolutely, positively, elated. "YES!..." As she gets up from her chair to scream this, everybody looks at her like she went insane. "..I-i mean, that's great! I, um, hahaha!"
"Awww, my best friend is excited i'm staying!" Belle says, in amusement.
"Let's dance in the garden." Elsa says as matter of factly as possible.
Belle is silent. "...w-what?"
Cut to Elsa and Belle running around and dancing in the garden, laughing their heads off.
Kristoff and Anna look rather amused and happy by this.
"I think Marshmallow was the one who broke our backs." Kristoff says.
"You figured out that now?" Anna jokingly retorts back.
While all of this is going on, Olaf is watching Elsa intently at his window...
As the night is young, Elsa enters her room, dancing happily to herself. Then she drops to her bed kicking her legs in excitement and giggling. "Oh god! I-*hick* wish every day was like this!"
And then: a deep, echoing voice can be heard booming through the open window. "AND EVERYDAY CAN BE LIKE THIS ELSA"
"AAAH! Wh-What?!... Who... Who is that?!"
"Elsa, it's me, God."
"Oh my..!" Elsa, in her drunk stupor, is totally convinced. "it's our l-lord an-*hick* and savior!"
"Yes. And i, have a solution to your stress with that snowman." God says to Elsa.
"Oh! That Olaf!" Elsa says to herself with a frown. "Oh g-god, how i wish i never created him sometimes!"
"Yes yes, i know. But i know of something that seems to make you forget about him. You know, alcohol is truly a man's best friend."
"Um, god, i'm a woma-" Elsa tries to correct God.
"And that's why i think consuming it more, could be the cure for your problems!"
Elsa looks quite confused and unsure about this solution. "God... y-you think so?"
"DO YOU DARE QUESTION THE ADVICE OF GOD?" God booms back at Elsa.
"N-n-no! I.." Elsa finally sighs in defeat. "I think you're right, God. I think this is the only-*hick* w-way to make me forget about Olaf."
"Well. I'm glad i could have helped you, my child. Now from the kingdom of heaven, i brought upon you the ten commandments of this new All Day Alcohol Plan!"
As God says this, a paper flies from the window. Elsa, surprised, flails her arms around trying to catch it, and when she does, she reads the paper.
The Ten Alcohommandments:
- Drink 3 Times A Day
- Drink Out Of A Plastic Flask To Easliy Hide From Plebians Who Wish To Sabotage The Lord's Plan
- Switch Between Wine, Champagne, Beer, and Gamer Edition Mountain Dew Each Day
- If The Flask Becomes A Sentient Cartoon Being With Legs And Eyes, Then You're Following The Plan Well
- The Alcohol Will Make You Better At Breakdancing
- If Anna Says Something About "Are You Drunk?", Respond With "What Are You, A Cop?"
- If You Want To Look Cooler While You Drink, Listen To Miles Davis
- If They Find Out About The Lord's Plan, Convert Them Into Alcoholism. Isn't That What My Son Would've Wanted?
- Leave That Fucking Awesome And Sexy Ass Snowman Olaf Alone, Will Ya?
- [to be written later]"
"B-but lord! What about the ten commandment?" Elsa asks God.
"My child, the ten commandment...is in your heart! Bye!" God says goodbye as a dramatic thunder crash plays. The window closes dramatically, and Elsa is just left wondering, will the plan God gave her really work.
Meanwhile, Olaf, with his voice modulator and megaphone, closes the window and stops hiding, to get inside his room. "Haha! And thassa wrap!" He closes his window.
"Once this plan gets going, i will have all the fun i want! Rich life as a sigma male, here i come! HahahahahHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA-"
"OLAF, STOP LAUGHING! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" Anna screams back at Olaf.
Olaf, quite meekly, says back. "S..s-sorry.."
"And clean the weed in the palace tomorrow!" Anna orders Olaf before closing her door.
Olaf stays silent for a moment, feeling quite defeated and sad. "Aw, man."
commercial break
Now, on a sunny tomorrow morning, Belle can be seen prancing around the garden singing.
"Lailalaraiiii!~ Yayararaiiii-"
"Yeah, and the big bag of weed is coming to the garbage dump, comprende-" Olaf is talking to the garbage man but stops as soon as she sees Belle. "ooooohhhHi...You are that chick Elsa was having a mental breakdown about, righ-"
Belle gasps in excitement, then goes ahead and excitedly hugs Olaf... maybe a little too hard.
"ACKKK-AAAAHHHHH" Olaf is now suffocating. "ACK I-C-CA-"
"I can't believe it! A real talking snowman!" Belle is beyond excited.
And meanwhile, Olaf is choking. "A-A-A-A-A-ACK-"
"How are you doing ya little guy? Are you looking for Rudolph or your snowman frien-"
"FUCK SAKE, stop condescending me!" Olaf finally releases himself from Belle's arms. "God, every snowman has to deal with some shit like this! White women only want one thing out of a snowman and it's DISGUSTING."
"Hehehe, aaaww he talked!" Belle says absent-mindedly. "Oh Elsa, you're up! Look at this funny talking snowman i found!"
"Like are you fucking serious right now." Olaf is beyond offended.
Elsa, shows up at the garden, in a black suit with a tie, clearly loopy and smiling profusely.
"Ooohhoo, hello Be-*HICK* *HICK* Belleee~." Elsa says drunk out of her mind. "Oh thaaaatss's jussst Olaf! Olaf? M-more l-like Ola Amiga! Be-becau-*HICK* because you're my BESTEST FRIEND in the WHOLE WORLD, Belle!"
"Ohh um-aaww that's sweet of you Elsa! By the way, what's with the suit?"
"Oh this? This is just for Sunday! We following the lord's commandments today!" Elsa says with tons of confidence.
"Um...isn't it Monday?" Belle asks.
"Okay i'm getting tired of this shit. HEY ELSA." Olaf tries to get Elsa's attention.
"Yes b-bucko?~"
"I'm going to go to the garbage dump and use it as an excuse to sell weed! Okay?!"
"Sure buddy! Life is so good! Wheeeee~" Elsa seems to be too drunk to process Olaf's plan, as she prances around the garden. Olaf couldn't be more annoyed.
"You really like your jokes!" Belle says to Olaf. "You cute little snowman!"
"Shut the FUCK up."
Elsa, while prancing around the town of Arendelle and getting looks from quite a few citizens, eventually makes her way to The Shack. And when she gets there, she opens the door aggressively and screams. "HEEY GUUUYYS! ARE YOU READY TO PARTYYYYYYY?!"
Only two annoyed guys and one guy crying to himself are in the bar.
"Elsa, it's Monday morning." Tiana says while cleaning a cup.
"OoooooOoOoOPS!" Elsa cartoonishly says. "Let's a-go to my palace to h-*hick* have fun!"
Tiana looks confused. "What-"
The palace dance hall is now with only the 3 guys, Tiana, Elsa, and Belle dancing as music plays in the speakers.
"Man, we've been dancing around for almost two days!" Belle points out.
"Actually, this is too spaaarsee." Elsa slurs her words around at the end. "Hold on Belle!"
Elsa is annoying citizens on a sidewalk in Arendelle. "Party! Party guys a-at my house!"
More citizens are dancing along now with Belle And Elsa.
"Stiiilll too medium...w-wait!" Elsa runs again, this time to the balcony upstairs. To the town megaphone for emergencies.
"Citiz-*HICK*" She almost barfs but tries to contain herself. "citizENS of Arendelle! I invite you to my royal dance party, it will last 24 hours a-a-a*Multiple hicks* and there WILL BE food!"
And now, the entire palace is surrounded by people dancing and partying like crazy.
"Elsaaaa!" Anna comes back from the store. "I'm back with groceri-wh-wh-WHAT?!" She drops the groceries in shock. And now she's just looking in disbelief at the mayhem, with Elsa and Belle dancing at the center of it all.
"I can't believe this...I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A PARTY." Anna soon enough gets in her party mode. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Kristoff appears with a cane recovering from the cramp "Oh hell yeah, another party! Who wants to Karaoke Third Eye Blin-" But then he gets thrown an entire vase to his body "AAAAHHHHH!" He falls.
Meanwhile, outside of the garbage dump, Olaf gets out with a lot of money in a bag, after selling weed in his stand.
"HAHAHAHHAHA! We're getting there man! But this isn't enough! What kind of overly complicated money scheme should I do now?"
A presumably high person comes up to Olaf. "Hey little dude, did you hear that voice from the castle..?"
"Pretty sure that was my superb and quality ganja working, my guy." Olaf, not so subtly presumes his weed to this person.
Another high man approaches Olaf. "Then why did it sound like Queen Elsa duuude. Somethin about throwin a party for the entire villaaage..?"
Olaf breaks the window of the garbage truck. "Sorry Pedro!"
Now with Pedro's truck, he speeds off before stopping right by his stand's customers. "My followers, ENTER THE GANJA MOBILE!" All the customers excitedly enter the Truck as Olaf drives at full speed towards the castle.
Everybody in the castle is still partying like crazy. Kristoff can be seen struggling to stand up. As all of this is happening, Anna approaches Elsa.
"Hey Els! What's with the suit?" Anna questions Elsa.
"Hahah... Wh-what are you, a cop?" Elsa drunkenly retorts.
"Hahah... what?"
"Isn't this great?!" Belle interrupts their conversation. "I never had a party this good since my husband and I were in Paris!"
"Yeah, y-you have a hus-?" Anna comments before getting interrupted by Elsa doing an eagle spread. "YEEEEEHAAAAW!"
"Yeaaaah! Me and my best friend Elsa!" Belle is pretty much out of the loop on all of what's happening.
Anna's confused face turns slowly into a frustrated one as she looks at Belle, and then to a worried one as she sees Elsa's drunken behavior.
"Hey, can you excuse us a moment? Els!" Anna now is dragging Elsa's flailing arms as she keeps dancing as if her life depended on it. They are now in a more private room of the castle, though the party can still be seen from the open door.
"Elsa." Anna is pretty worried. "Look, I don't wanna be a prude or anything but...how much have you been drinking?"
"*Hick* I'm sorry Anna, b-but telling you g-goes against the god's plan!"
"Th-the what? Don't you mean the lord's plan?" Anna is even more confused.
As they're talking in front of the party, they don't realize that Olaf just barged in with a bunch of high people and offered to sell them Margaritas with a "Special Herb" for 5 dollars.
"Listen Els, I know it was fun last week, but i'm getting really worried." Anna straight up lets Elsa know what she feels.
"Come on Marie Aaaanne, don't you worry ab-bout anything." Elsa tries to downplay it. "It's all fine! I've never b-been better!"
Anna sees right through it. "Elsa, you are terrible at lying."
Kristoff, in the background, can be heard screaming as he gets trampled by people dancing. "Hey guys can you help me get-AAAAHHHH!"
"W-well?! Y-YOU Are terribly terrible at minding y-*hick* your own business!" Elsa's getting more riled up.
"Elsa! I'm trying to help you!" Anna is getting more annoyed.
"Well sis, i'm perfectly, explictily supecal-s-supercali-cali-lifeihahgajo-agnosticlydocious ANN!"
"Elsa, you look like you're about to vomit at any second! I can't watch you wasting away like this!" Anna say this in total frustration.
"W-well, then leave!"
"W..." Anna could not believe what she just heard. A certain familiar sentence. "WHAT?!... You ..you didn't!"
Elsa looks kinda shocked at herself but is still looking to be the right one in the situation.
"..OH, OKAY! Maybe i don't care that my sister doesn't want my help then!" Anna has had it and retorts back at Elsa.
"OK, F-FINE!" Elsa says trying to appear like she doesn't care.
"GOOD! I guess i'll just let you become an alcoholic!" Anna screams back.
"Don't you DARE Soil t-the lord's plan!" Elsa says before she almost falls.
"Whatever! I'll be in my room!" Anna says before walking to the hallway. Elsa looks at her. And then, Anna sighs and turns to her. "...My god Els, I thought you weren't afraid to tell me your problems." Disappointed, she walks to go to her room.
Elsa looks shocked at what Anna said. She just stands there, ashamed of what she told her just then. So, she takes her flask, hidden in her pocket, and in a moment of self-reflection, she looks at it...
But before she could think anything, the Flask suddenly grows legs, arms, eyes, and a cartoon mouth.
"ELSA! YA FEELIN SAD? DRINK MORE OF MR. FLASK!" Mr. Flask, the cartoon Flask, happily says.
Elsa does a face that is undescribable as Mr. Flask is doing a little jig.
"The lord's plan is working..." Elsa says to herself, as she proceeds to down the entire thing as a cope to forget about everything bad that just happened.
Meanwhile, Olaf is screaming in pure hype to the people he just drugged. "Are you motherfuckers feeling that high yet?!"
"I'm gonna need more of that margari-" A random man requests.
"10 dollars fucko" Olaf says.
"I really want more of that marg-" A random woman requests.
"The Margie Simpson costs 20 dollars bitch" Olaf says.
"Haha, he talked!" The random woman says absent-mindedly.
Another guy comes in. "Let's give all our money to Mr. Margarita Man!" Everybody agrees and cheers Olaf, as they throw countless amounts of money in the air.
"YES! YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!" Olaf is on cloud nine as he catches all the money. "CONGA TIME!" And then all of his drugged customers do a conga line.
"CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA-" Olaf throws a glass at a wall. "CHAAA! CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA-" Olaf pours a Margarita on his head. "CHAAA! Oh hey, look everyone, it's the queen of Arendelle!"
"ACKWAHDRANWAKAILIKEA PACHINKO MACHINEEEEE!" Elsa screams, absolutely hammered.
"Damn son, the lord's has done a number on her!" Olaf says to the customers, as they sassily go "Mmmmmmhmmmmm" to Olaf's response.
"B-b-belle!" Elsa screams in excitement at her. "How's my favorite girl doing? Ya looking…like...like...something that i love!"
"Aawww Elsa, you're so sweet!" Belle blushes.
"Anything for my girlf-my girl! My girl!" Elsa almost catches herself before saying something she will regret. "Uuuh hey! Ya haven't drank a-a-any-*hick* thing! Try-" She vomits on the floor and for a second she has to recover "Ahhhhhh!.. a little beer won't ya!"
"Ha! Alright, don't know if i can take anymore after me and my husband's honeymoon, but i guess i can loosen up!" Belle casually says.
But, Elsa literally deflates like a balloon as soon as she hears what Belle just said.
"w...wait...you...you...didn't tell me about.." Elsa is absolutely flabbergasted.
"Oh yeah, that! Me and my husband back in France." Belle starts to explain. "I didn't tell you about him? I should have because he's such a delight. He truly is a prince in shining armor!"
As she is saying all of this, you can pinpoint the exact moment where Elsa's heart breaks in two.
"He's so good to me, i think you should meet him at some point!"
Elsa just stands there with her mouth open, with nothing to say. She looks broken.
Elsa is now knocking on Anna's door as loudly as she can. Anna opens after 20 seconds of knocking.
"What?!...Els?" Anna opens and sees Elsa, not looking well.
Elsa looks at Anna with a serious look and begins to talk in an almost emotionless voice. "Anna...we need to talk..."
"I WAS SUCH A FUCKING IDIOOOOOT!" Elsa is sobbing hard on Anna's lap. "GOD DAMMIIIIIIIT!"
"Elsa, it's okay." Anna is comforting Elsa as best she can, with a very sympathetic look on her face.
"I'M SOOOOOOOORRYYYYYYY! Why...*hick* why is it so hard... TO LIKE GIIIIIIIIRLS!" She is just letting all the stress of these last couple of days all out.
"Shhh, it's okay Els." As she is rubbing the top of Elsa's head, after 20 minutes of non-stop crying, eventually Elsa just cries herself to sleep.
Now, Anna goes to Elsa's room and tucks her sister's body into bed. As she's tucking in her, she can't help but notice a paper below her pillow. She can't help but wonder what it's doing there.
"What is this?" And then she sees Olaf's Ten Alcohommandments. And then, she sees red.
With a determined look, she is walking in the hallway to find Olaf. "I am gonna kill him i am gonna kill that stupid little DUMB SNOWMAN OLAF I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU!"
Belle, meanwhile, is drinking now her fifth beer. Belle does not look like a happy kind of drunk.
"Uuugh, i'm so goddamn tired..." Belle scowls. "I've been dancing for two days, my feet hurt."
"Oh yeah look at her!" Olaf points at Belle to his posse of drugged customers. "Yeah, this that Belle bitch that condescended me! Do you think all snowmen are the same, HUH?!"
Belle looks at Olaf with a pissed look.
"HAHAHAH! Ya think im gonna put on a hat and dance for a group of children HUH?!" As Olaf says this, the entire group and Olaf laughs at Belle.
"...what THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME?!" Belle does not appreciate this.
Anna gets to the party and sees Olaf. "OLAF! YOU ARE IN-" But before she could do anything, she saw the spectacle that was going on.
"I said, do ya think i-" Olaf doesn't get to finish his vitriol as Belle grabs his entire body to hang by the air.
"YOU LITTLE FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LOSER. YOU WANNA START A FIGHT MOTHERFUCKER?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!" Belle is screaming this at Olaf's shocked face, a face that soon gets sucker punched across the room. The punch is so strong that it makes Olaf's carrot nose almost fall over his face.
Everybody, including Anna, is shocked and awed at was just happened.
As Olaf recovers from the punch in a corner of the room, he touches his cheek impacted by Belle's fist. He then looks at her.
"Oh, it is on." Olaf whispers. Then he sprints as fast as he can, jumps high, and punches Belle in the face. Then Belle punches back. And another one. And another one. And another one.
This culminates in Belle and Olaf having a full-blown fistfight in front of everybody who is cheering and screaming like it's an event.
As Anna looks at the fight gobsmacked, she is conflicted if she should be worried about Belle, or happy that Olaf is finally having his shit beaten out of him.
Olaf goes into overdrive and pulls off a weird move. "Piledriver!" He somehow does that as Belle screams. "AAACK! You mother..!" Belle tries to one-up him, in the middle of their fight by doing this.
"Chokeslam!" Belle pulls it off as Olaf screams in pain. "AAAAAAGH FUCK!"
Everybody is going nuts at this sight, playing their airhorns, taking off their shirts and spinning them around, and having finger foams for either Belle or Olaf.
Kristoff, in a wheelchair, has a microphone, and suddenly he starts commentating on the fight.
"OH! And Triple Belle comin in with the Chokeslam at Stone Cold Steve Olaf! It seems she has put him in a bad position over here at Arendelle Castle!"
"Kristoff, fucking help me-AAAAGGHH!" Olaf screams.
"Oh and here comes the countdown!" Kristoff announces that Belle might win the fight.
A random referee shows up out of nowhere and counts to 3.
"3! 2!.." Kristoff counts down.
But then Olaf punches Belle in the face with his back preventing his timeout.
"Oh, too late! And now Olaf has grabbed a random chair from the crowd, and BAM!" Belle is hit from behind by Olaf. "Goodbye to your back, Triple Belle!" Kristoff does his commentary while this happens.
"AAACK FUCKK!" Belle screams at the impact.
"Okay! That's enough!" Anna can't let this go further, so she gets around the circle of spectators and barges into the "ring" to stop the fight.
Anna is evading the attacks and trying to talk to both fighters. "You two are way too drunk to be doing th-" Belle almost punches Anna but she seems to dodge it just in time.
"And a new challenger appears! The legendary Anna The Firespreader Arendelle, dodging the sudden attack from Triple Belle!"
"HEY! WATCH IT YOU TEASE!" Anna screams back at Belle.
"And oh, wait a minute, the trash talk has started!" Kristoff comments some more.
"Who ya callin a TEASE?!" Belle screams back at Anna.
"You! For leading my sister on!" Anna snipes back at her.
"What the hell are you talking about, you dumb redhead!" Belle gets pretty angry with Anna.
"You know, as much i hate Olaf right now, you made my sister cry! So you're not exempt either!" Anna gets fiery with Belle.
The audience makes an "oooooooooh" sound and gets more excited. So Anna and Belle get into an almost karate-like fight, and that's when the audience really goes insane.
"And the match goes on!" Kristoff is over the moon. "As the rules of attack go off, cause i've never seen karate moves in the Arendelle Wrestling Federation before!"
"HEY WHAT THE FUCK. Let me in on this!" Olaf whines and goes towards Anna and Belle. "This match is about MEEEEEEEEE-"
Belle kicks him in the stomach so hard that she sends him flying towards the chandelier.
"AAAAAAAHHH! Get me out of here!" Olaf screams in fear.
"Ohhh, a tale as old as time, except Belle ain't dancing now, as Anna is taking the lead with her attacks!" Kristoff quips and updates on the fight.
Anna then realizes, wait, why is she fighting her? So she tries to talk to Belle. "Belle, listen to me! Snap out of it! We're supposed to fight against the enemy here!"
"What enemy?! You're attacking me right now!" Belle brings up a good point.
So Anna stops punching Belle and, well, she sees that the audience is very receptive to this, so, in an attempt to keep the hype up, she does a wrestler voice to intimidate the opponent.
"Let me tell you something Belle! You think i'm the enemy here, but the real answer, as blindly obvious as it is, is that little idiot snowman up there!" Anna points to Olaf in the chandelier.
The audience is eating this up, cheering Belle and Anna, and booing at Olaf.
"You ungrateful FUCKS! I gave you the good shit straight from the garbage du-OOOWWW!" Olaf gets hit by a shoe before he can finish his sentence.
"No shit, Sherlock, he trash-talked me." Belle points this out to Anna. "What's your point, genius?!"
"Don't you think Elsa has been acting off? You're so dense you can't even see it! You're so self-absorbed, you didn't even realize that she was drunk the entire time when she was with you!" Anna tries to make Belle see reason.
"What?! But...but i thought that she was just happy to see me!" Belle tries to defend herself.
"If you thought that, then brother, you're truly in the point of no return!" Anna's wrestler's voice work gets better as she goes on. "And that carrot-nosed parasite had the bright idea to manipulate her into drinking herself so she could ignore his misdoings! And, to relieve her anxiety being around you!" Anna finally explains all that happened to Belle.
The audience gasps at this revelation, like it was the big twist of the story.
Belle has a face of surprise. And then, shame. She can't believe that she was so naive to not notice any of it.
"Oh my god...Anna...I am so sorry." Belle starts apologizing. "What have i done?! I broke Elsa's heart, and in the process, i started this entire mess!"
"Now wait a minute!" Anna stops Belle. "Don't say that. This is not your fault, brother! It was Olaf who made Elsa zonked out of her mind! Not you!"
"But...but i-!" Belle gets interrupted.
"And don't give me any of that self-pity! This is just the way this happened between the both of you! If you wanna say all of this to Els, fine by me brother, but don't say this to her so YOU can feel better! Don't make it about yourself!"
The audience cheers in admiration for the turn this fight took.
Belle finally sighs. "Wow... how did it get so out of control... I guess we all made wrong decisions here, huh?"
"Yeah, yeah we did." Anna says. "Look... i know i said a lot of stuff about you right now... but brother... your only sin in this entire story was: you were too naive. But now that you've seen the light..." Anna slowly extends her hand to Belle. "Will you walk towards it with me?"
The audience cheers at this.
Belle sheds one tear before moving close to Anna, then staying still... and then doing a strong bold handshake, squashing the beef.
The audience goes absolutely crazy at this development.
"Unbelievable! What a turn of events!" Kristoff screams in excitement. "Anything can happen in the Arendelle Wrestling Federation!"
"Hey ya fuckos im still here! OW!" Olaf reminds everyone before getting more stuff thrown at him.
Anna and Belle look at each other.
"Well, Brother, are you ready to-" Anna gets interrupted.
"You can stop the voice now." Belle tells Anna.
"Okay." Anna drops the act. "Olaf! Get down here now! This is over!"
"NO ANNA THE FIRESPREADER ARENDELLE" Olaf screams in his wrestler's voice.
"Olaf, no internet for 3 months." Anna says deadpanned.
Olaf falls on purpose right in his face.
"Good. Now only for 2 months." Anna says to Olaf with a smug smile.
"Dammit!" Olaf screams.
As this is going on, the chandelier handle breaks and starts to fall down.
"Ahh look!" Belle points at the falling chandelier.
"Oh my god! It's falling! Everybody! RUUUUN!" Anna warns everybody. So everybody starts screaming and running outside the palace hall.
"Wait, my fucking leg! I-aaagh- i can't get up!" Olaf screams at everybody. The chandelier is getting closer and closer.
"Oh no! Will Stone Cold Steve Olaf be able to survive the chandelier! Yes because i will SAVE YOU OLAF HERE I COOOOOOOME!" Kristoff drops the commentator act and speeds off with his wheelchair to Olaf.
But Kristoff falls from the wheelchair, falling into Olaf's body hard. "OOOOW! What the fuck, Kristoff!"
"Time to die together, Olaf!" Kristoff says and the chandelier finally reaches them. Kristoff and Olaf scream as the chandelier comes crashing down and THEN- *CRASH!*
In the hospital, Elsa just got an alcohol detox and she's ready to go. Meanwhile, Anna and Belle got their bruises from the fight fixed up. And last, but not least: Olaf and Kristoff are in their respective beds completely covered in casts.
Now in much better condition, Elsa is looking at herself in the mirror. "I gotta say, i look quite dapper in this suit."
"Heh, you sure do Els." Anna says back to Elsa.
"Um... hey Anna." Elsa meekly starts talking. "I'm really sorry about... you know, what i said to you at the castle."
"Elsa, you were drunk for like almost 3 days straight." Anna points out to Elsa. "It's okay. And by the way, i forgive you."
Elsa smiles at her, and Anna gives her a big hug. Elsa returns it back, sighing in relief.
"...Buuuuuut you WILL have to play with me and the dolls!" Anna says while smiling.
"Nooo, not the dolls!" Elsa fake whines.
Anna, out of nowhere, holds up a doll. "I'm nooo giirl's tooooy! "
Anna and Elsa start giggling until it eventually turns into laughing.
"Oh, and Belle? We're still friends right?" Elsa asks an amused-looking Belle. "No hard feelings about... you know-" Elsa gets interrupted by Belle hugging her.
"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry for being so oblivious.. You're still my best friend!" Elsa smiles in relief. Anna comes in and hugs them both. "AAAAAWWWW THIS IS TOO MUCH!"
This moment is interrupted by Olaf throwing a book at this display of love, making angry muffled noises that sound like gibberish to everyone.
"Oh mister, you are LUCKY that Belle did to you what i would never do!" Anna reprimands Olaf while he's in the recovery bed.
"Yeah..." Belle looks at Olaf. "You know, i learned a lot from you, Olaf. I truly learned that, no matter how beautiful something looks... you never judge a book by its cover."
Olaf brings his casted hand and somehow makes a middle finger with it.
"Hey, you rude-!"
"Guys, would you stop? I'm trying to sleep here." Kristoff says to both of them. "Hey Anna, can you tell Tiana over there a thank you for the medical expenses?"
"Save it, i just want to pretend this never happened." Tiana says with bags under her eyes. "I'll see ya later at the bar, guys."
"Nononononononope." Elsa quickly spouts. "I had enough alcohol for a lifetime. I want to celebrate without having to drink something... in fact... hey, look over there!"
"What?" Anna asks as Elsa points at a window at a kid's birthday party outside.
Elsa suddenly has a mischievous grin. "Hey Ann, should we surprise those kids?"
"Already got the piñata ready!" Anna shows it in her hand.
"Count me in too!" Belle joins in on this.
The three go running outside where the birthday party is up.
And at the kid's party, one of them gasps in surprise. "Hey guys, It's Queen Elsa!" The kids cheer and all hug her.
"Hey kids, you wanna have fun!?" Elsa playfully asks.
And Belle brings up a boombox, playing a joyful song.
The Kids, Anna, Belle, and especially Elsa with her suit, all dance joyfully with no care in the world, as Olaf watches in disgust at the window.
What a life, what a night!
What a beautiful, beautiful ride!
Olaf watches with intentful eyes. "You win this time, Elsa. You win this time."
Don't know where I'm in five but I'm young and alive!
Elsa, finally free, with no fucks to give, jumps up to the sky.
Fuck what they are saying, what a life!
[credits roll]
[end of episode]
Note: What a life!
