Chapter 15
We managed to reconvene in Emmett's backyard around 9. Bella wore an over sized t-shirt, that I was imagining was not Jake's, over what I assumed was her swimsuit. I was lounged on a lawn chair, wearing boxers under my bathing suit so I could tuck my inevitable boner into the waistband and, hopefully, go about my night with no one the wiser.
Emmett was somehow able to scrape up enough cash from us to get a half-keg of PBR, and I was sipping the unpleasantly warm liquid slowly as Jasper, Alice and I passed a joint between the three of us. Emmett was already in the pool with Rose, and Bella and Jake were having some type of hushed conversation in the corner. The thought of him upsetting her while she was trying to have fun was enraging, but the weed I was smoking helped me keep my cool.
Sort of.
"What's up, dude? You seem a little tense." Jasper said as he exhaled smoke, passing the joint to my sister beside him.
I laughed at the absurdity of his words. A little tense? That was the understatement of the fucking year. Still- I kept my cool. "I'm a little tense, Jazz, you're right. You wanna help with some relief?" I grabbed my dick as I spoke, waving it at him for emphasis.
"Eww!" Alice shrieked, causing the three of us to burst out in laughter. Emmett appeared at the edge of the pool, donning goggles.
"What's so fucking funny?!"
"Jazz wants to suck me off."
"In your fucking dreams, Masen."
"Ew, please stop! The mental imagery is painful!" Alice exclaimed again.
"I dunno, I think it sounds kind of hot." Emmett yelled from the pool, causing another fit of laughter. Rosalie just rolled her eyes.
"What'd we miss?" Jake's obnoxious voice immediately stopped my laughter, though the others were still giggling.
"My brother is being perverted." Alice replied.
"Not surprising." Bella said before walking away from the rest of us, presumably to get a beer from the keg. I sighed, unsure if she was fucking joking around or not. She was ice cold towards me, showing basically no interest in anything I'd said or done the entire day. The most attention I had gotten from her was her parting smile earlier.
She didn't seem to have a problem with anyone else.
In fact, in the next moment, a blur of brown hair caught our attention as Bella, sans boyfriend's tshirt, ran across the yard and hopped over the side of the pool, splashing the rest of us.
"Fuck yeah!" Emmett yelled, laughing and high-fixing Bella as she surfaced from underwater. Her wet hair clung to her neck, dripping little beads of water onto her exposed shoulders.
"So much for not getting the tattoo wet." Jake mumbled. Bella swam to the edge of the pool and splashed him.
"So help me, if you don't get in this damn pool, Jacob Black…" She trailed off, narrowing her big eyes at her lover. I shuddered.
He looked at her, his puppy dog eyes pathetic… before breaking into a grin. He ripped his shirt off, exposing his tan, muscled, tattooed chest, before joining Bella by jumping over the side of the pool. Emmett cheered once again.
"Let's go, pussies! Last one in the pool has to suck Edward's dick!"
I heard everyone's laugher, but it was Bella's that rang out the most.
-.-.-.-
I have no idea how many beers I, personally, drank, but the seven of us finished off the keg. Emmett and Rose were inside doing god knows what. Jasper was passed out on a lawn chair next to Jake, who was passed out on the grass, which secretly pleased me; I hope he got a shit load of bug bites down there.
I was on a large pool float with Alice, while Bella waded next to us in a tube. The three of us were passing around a bowl packed with some weed Bella had brought home with her from Phoenix. It was a delicate game: three drunken idiots attempting not to drop the lighter into the water. Somehow, we managed.
"Look at my dumbass boyfriend sleeping over there." Alice laughed, nudging me hard enough to almost flip our floatation device.
"Jasper's been known to pass out over the years." I agreed.
"He's doing better than my boyfriend, at least." Bella muttered while carefully extracting the pipe from Alice's slippery hand. We had been diligent in not touching each other for the entirety of the night- even now, the bowl was only passed back and forth between Bella and Alice, not even allowing the chance for our skin to brush.
I was kind of grateful. I felt like I was teetering on the edge of insanity, barely hanging on… one small brush of my girl's soft hand could be enough to send me over.
Okay, maybe I was fucking exaggerating a bit… but, in all honesty, I was kind of proud of myself for keeping it together as well as I had all day. I didn't want to fuck it up now.
As if on cue, a huge snore ripped from Jake's chest before he rolled over. Alice laughed, but Bella rolled her eyes. "Fucking idiot." She muttered.
I couldn't help it- a fit of laughter broke out of me, loud and free, and while my sister gaped at me, Bella narrowed her eyes, which, for some reason, had me laughing harder.
It only took a few seconds for her to crack; a smile creeped up on her face, and before I knew it, she was laughing along with me. It wasn't quite that big, belly laugh of hers I stored so carefully in my memories, but still, the sound of it had my stomach in knots and my skin on edge.
Alice, for once, was silent, simply gazing between me and Bella with a look of confusion plastered on her face. "Why do I feel like it wouldn't be as funny if I called my boyfriend a fucking idiot?"
Bella was still giggling when she replied; "You're right, Alice. Your brother has no right to laugh at my man's shortcomings."
Despite her playful tone, her words momentarily sobered me- fuck, was she mad at me again?- but when I glanced at her, her bright eyes, scrunched from laughter, met mine and she smiled at me again, and it was a big and beautiful and genuine smile. I smiled back, and for the first time in a long time, it was big and genuine.
-.-.-.-
I woke up the next morning, or maybe it was the afternoon, staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. I sat up, my head rushing- fuck, I was hungover- and looked around. I was on the floor of Emmett's living room. Alice and Jasper were tangled together on the couch next to me, still in their bathing suits. Looking down at myself, I noticed I was still in mine and, fuck, it was still fucking wet.
I groaned before mustering up the strength to lift myself from the floor, my entire body aching with every movement. Making my way to the kitchen, I found Emmett pressing Rosalie into the wall in the hallway, his mouth attached to her neck.
I cleared my throat. Emmett looked up at me, smirking. "Good morning, brother man! Just enjoying my favorite breakfast." He said, wiggling his eyebrows. Rose shoved him off of her, a scowl on her lips, but she couldn't hold back her laughter. Somehow, she was smitten by the dumb fuck.
"There's coffee in the kitchen." She told me, and I nodded, more than happy to leave them to their breakfast or whatever Emmett wanted to call it.
Once through the threshold, I was unfortunately greeted by a tan, shirtless, tatted back where the coffee was supposed to be.
Jake turned around, beaming at me. I shuddered.
"Hey, dude! You want some coffee?" He asked, way to energetic for my hungover ass. "Emmett showed me where the cups are…" He went on, opening and closing the cabinets in his unsuccessful hunt for mugs. I rolled my eyes- while his back was turned, of course- and grabbed myself a clean looking mug from the dish rack.
I held it up to show him. "Got one, dude." I mumbled.
He shrugged before stepping out of my way, and I poured myself a cup of coffee, feeling his gaze on me. I kept my eyes on the brown fluid as it dripped from the pot, unwilling to make eye contact with the asshole. I could tell he wanted me to, could tell he was desperate to make conversation, but I refused to give him the satisfaction.
The sound of the back door swinging open got me to look up. Bella stepped into the kitchen, looking between Jake and I with her brow perfectly arched. How very Bella of her.
"Morning, Bells! How'd you sleep?" Jake squaked, heading over to Bella and placing a loud, wet kiss on her forehead. I averted my gaze, feeling my chest constrict. I rode out the quick wave of pain their little moment of intimacy caused before looking back up, confused.
"What, did you sleep outside or something?"
Bella's glaring eyes narrowed, burning into mine. Shit. Her jovial mood from the night before had obviously vanished. "What?" She spat, venom lacing her tone. I stiffened, immediately wary that she fucking hated me once again.
Jake just laughed, wrapping his arm around my Bella and pulling her to him. "Bells is not a morning person. Won't even talk to me until after her cigarette."
Bella rolled her eyes, but leaned into Jake's embrace. Another flash of pain, longer this time. I waited til it passed before I spoke again.
"Right. Guess I've never really seen Bella in the morning." Bella's eyes narrowed further, her glare intense. Somehow, it only seemed to fuel my sudden fire- it was just so Bella of her- so I went on. "I just meant her hair looks like a damn haystack. I like it, by the way." I smirked at her, feeling somewhat giddy at this exchange of my words and her glares. "And she came in from outside, so…"
"Yeah, babes, he's right. You definitely look like you spent the night in the elements." Jake said, still laughing.
"Whatever," Bella mumbled, breaking out of Jake's hold. Out of his line of sight, she looked at me and mouthed 'what the fuck?' I smiled, and she rolled her eyes again, but I caught her lips twitching upwards before she turned towards the coffee pot, refilling her cup with the remainder of the liquid.
"Oh, no, Bella!"
Bella and I both turned to watch Jake approach, with his big fucking puppy dog eyes on full blast.
"Oh, Bells, you fucked your tattoo up! I told you!" He whined, grabbing Bella's arm and swinging her around again so he could examine the ink on the back of it. I tensed the moment his hand made contact with her, but remained still besides leaning over slightly to see what the fuck he was talking about. It looked fucking fine to me.
"It's all blown out now! Damn it, Bella! I worked so hard…"
At the exact moment I took a breath, ready to fucking say god knows what to the asshole, Bella spun around with fire in her eyes.
"Jacob!" She exclaimed, placing her little hand on his chest to push him back. Before she said another word to him, her eyes flashed to mine.
"Don't you dare." She growled at me through gritted teeth, before turning back to her lumbering oaf of a boyfriend.
How did she know what I was about to do?
She continued. "Jacob, I am not nearly caffeinated enough to have this conversation right now. Later, okay?"
The pout on the man's face was laughable, but I managed to withhold. "I, uh, am gonna head home." I said, interrupting the silent conversation the lovers were having.
Jake frowned, staring at Bella for one more second before turning to me. "Really, dude? I thought we'd get to hang out some more."
I laughed, though it sounded humorless, patting Jake on the shoulder hard. He didn't wince. Fucker. "Another time, man." I turned to Bella, momentarily stunned when her big eyes met mine.
What was she thinking?once before speaking. "See ya, Bells."
At the look of Bella's snarl, I turned around, walking past my sister and her lover sleeping on the couch, and leaving my girl and her lover behind.
-.-.-.-
I guess I passed out immediately upon arriving home, because the next thing I knew, the low hanging sun was blazing through my window and into my eyes, waking me up from my much needed nap.
Quietly, I left my bedroom, hoping Alice was still out with Jazz so I wouldn't have to discuss the events of the night prior.
I made it downstairs unbothered. Dad was on the couch watching TV with a beer in hand, but he didn't pay me any mind, just grunting when I walked in front of the television. Grabbing a cigarette from my pack on the coffee table, I made my way out the front door, lighting my cigarette and sitting down on the stoop before looking up.
Bella was storming across the street from Charlie's front yard, heading straight towards me.
Ignoring the unrelenting pounding in my chest, I greeted her. "Hey."
She stopped at the gate. "Hey."
"You look better than you did the last time I saw you."
She rolled her big eyes, and I felt my heart climb up my throat. It was really fucking endearing to see how much she was still the same Bella I remembered.
"What the fuck's your problem, Edward?" A chill ran through me when she spoke my name. "You've barely said two words to me the whole time I've been back in Chicago, and all of a sudden you're joking with me at my boyfriend's expense?"
"I don't think it was at his expense, Bella." Another chill when i said her name.
"'Oh, I've never seen Bella in the morning,'" She said in her best/worst Edward impression. I looked down at my cigarette in a vain attempt to hide my smirk. "Seriously, Edward! There are some things he doesn't need to know."
"Why not?" I asked, serious now. "Why shouldn't he know?"
"Because I don't fucking want him to." She spit through her teeth. "It is most certainly none of your business."
I shrugged, saying nothing. What did she want me to say? I was just fucking kidding.
"Nothing to say, huh? Very mature, Edward. Great to see you've grown up."
"Oh, for Christ's sake, Bella. Give me a fucking break."
"Can't you give me a break? I'm the fucking outsider here. Everyone's moved on with their lives, and now I'm back, and I have to watch everyone, watch you-" She stopped talking abruptly, taking a deep breath. "Give me a fucking break, Edward."
I was momentarily speechless. Watch me what? Pathetically obsess over you for the past two years? Fuck, what was she going to say?
Jesus Christ, and just the way she spoke to me, fiery and mad, her eyes blazing with some unsaid emotion… it was almost like we went back in time, like this was just another fight between us over some bullshit. Just a reason to get all worked up until the tension rose too high, until we couldn't take it anymore and we came together, panting and groping and kissing and…
Despite the burning sensation in the pit of my stomach, I couldn't help but smile at the memories. The best days of my life.
Bella was staring at me, her eyebrows pulled together as she tried to figure out whatever expression was planted on my face. After a moment, her lips quirked up to match mine.
"I'm sorry, okay?" I said finally. "It's been a little hard to think lately," I gave her an accusatory look, hoping she understood what I meant. "I'll keep my fucking mouth shut."
She sighed. "You don't have to keep your mouth shut. I'm the one who came back and made it all awkward. I get it." She looked sad. I ached to reach out, to touch her. "It went right over his fucking head, anyway." She grumbled.
I couldn't help but laugh. Of course it went right over his head. He's a fucking idiot. Bella's mouth turned up again, and she starting laughing with me. My heart threatened to thump out of my chest at the sound, but it ended too soon. Bella sighed again, tucking her hair her ear, before giving me a sad smile that didnt touch her eyes.
"I'll see you around, Edward."
"See ya."
She turned and began walking away. "Oh, Edward?" She called over her shoulder from the middle of the street.
"Yeah?"
"Come to my next show, okay? The bigger the crowd the more money I make, ya know?"
I laughed. "Roger that, Bells."
She scoffed, turning around once more to shoot me a glare. "Til next time, Eddy."
I had to admit I was fucking nervous about going to see Bella perform. History showed that I had a pretty…intense, for lack of a better word, reaction to her. Still, I couldn;t deny that I also felt excited. Excited to hear her voice, excited to go out with my friends again. Maybe I could even manage to feel somewhat normal during the experience.
What a concept.
Spending time with Bella hurt less than I thought it would. I saw mean, dont get me wrong, it did fucking hurt. And seeing her with her muscular, tan boyfriend fucking hurt a lot. It helped that he was a dumbass, though, and that Bella seemed to know it.
The reality of it was, spending any time with Bella was just kind of easing this ache in my heart that I forgot I had, one that started the day she told me she was leaving Chicago. Whether she was with me or not, it felt good to have her around. I hoped the feeling would last, but I was operating with trepidation, and I knew going to watch her play may have been stepping too close to the edge.
