A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting!!! I was camping for the past week with no service. I hope y'all have been enjoying the end of the summer!!!!
I woke up the next morning to the obnoxious sound of my cell phone ringing on my nightstand. Without picking my head up off the pillow, I reached over and pressed it to my ear.
"Hello?" I grumbled, half asleep and pissed. I didn't know what time it was, but judging by the way the sunlight was streaming through my window, it was too fucking early.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Bella's voice hissed from the speaker.
That woke me up.
I jolted upright, letting my fingers run through my hair and tugging a little. "Bella?"
"Can you explain to me why I woke up to my boyfriend setting up a fucking tattoo shop in my room?"
"He wants to do it in your room?" I asked with my heart in my throat. I couldn't… there was no fucking way I could go up there.
"How is that relevant? Why did you agree to letting him tattoo you, Edward? What are you fucking getting at?"
"I'm not getting at anything, Bella." I spat back at her. "Do you think I want to spend my day having your boyfriend stab me with needles?"
She scoffed, but I willed myself to continue. "It was Jake and Emmett's fucking idea that I got roped into. What was I supposed to say, 'sorry, Jake, I can't because I used to fuck your girlfriend-'"
"Enough, Edward!" She whisper-yelled, cutting me off.
We were silent for a minute before she spoke again.
"I'm not happy about this."
"Yeah, well, me either."
Silence again. I broke it, this time.
"Will you be there?" I asked.
"Maybe. If only to fuck your day up a little more."
I could hear the smile growing in her voice. I laughed.
"See you later, then, Bells."
"Fuck you, Eddy."
-.-.-.-.-
Emmett met me out front a few hours later, ready to go. We smoked some weed before heading across the street, which I was grateful for- Emmett's excitement helped ease the tension I was feeling.
I wasn't nervous about getting a tattoo, obviously; I've been punched and kicked and bitten and heartbroken too many times to worry about any kind of physical pain. Plus, it was true what I said to Jake the day before; I would have already had plenty of tats if they weren't so god damn expensive. I wasn't thrilled on the idea of this particular asshole doing my first one, but it was a non-issue.
The issue was what Bella told me on the phone, that Jake was setting his shit up in her…their bedroom. I had a hard enough time imagining myself walking in the front door, seeing the rooms where I had kissed and held the only woman I'd ever love, seeing the piano we sat at as she played for me and only me. Now I would have to ascend the stairs up into the place we connected, truly connected physically and fucking spiritually, and I would have to look at that bed and know she shared it with him now, connected with him in the same spot…
I really didn't know if I could do it, but being with Emmett helped.
Relief flooded my system when we walked inside and saw Jake and all his shit spread out on the kitchen table.
"Hey, guys! I'm just finishing up over here! There's some brews in the fridge if you want one, Bella's out back smoking…"
I stopped listening to him, instead heading for the refrigerator and grabbing a Budweiser bottle. I handed one to Emmett, as well, before heading out the back door. It was as if I was being pulled towards her, like a magnet or a man possessed.
The latter may have been true.
Bella was sitting on the back deck with a cigarette dangling from her lips. She was wearing a bathing suit top and denim shorts, and if her face wasn't so fucking beautiful I probably would never have been able to tear my eyes from her body.
She glared up at me, but I could see the playfulness in her eyes. "I told him he couldn't do that shit upstairs."
I nodded, glancing through the back door to see Emmett sitting down with Jake, talking animatedly about something. I shut the door. "Thanks," I told her.
"It would be weird for me, too." She said. I nodded again, grateful that she seemed to understand without the need for words.
"Emmett's getting a tattoo for Rosalie." I told her, trying to break whatever the awkward tension was that loomed over us.
Bella laughed, a soft but truly humored sound. "A rose?"
"How'd you guess?"
As always, time passed too quickly with Bella. Between talk of tattoos and Gala events and fisherman fathers, Emmett swung the back door open with his t-shirt sleeve rolled up, sporting his new flower tattoo.
"Hell yeah, dude! Check this shit out!"
Bella and I shared a quick glance before I stood up to check out my friend's new ink.
"That's pretty badass, Em. Does Rose know you did this?"
"Fuck no, this is a surprise. She's gonna lose her shit."
"Yeah, she might." Bella agreed. I suppressed a smirk, and it all went over Emmett's head.
"Yo, Edward, I'm ready for you!" Jake called from inside.
I sat in the kitchen chair, trying to pay attention to the way Jake assembled his tattoo gun so I could keep my eyes off of his girlfriend. Bella hoisted herself up onto the kitchen counter next to the sink, and she was so small and adorable that her feet dangled over the edge like a little kid's.
"What are we doing, Edward?" Jake asked.
I shrugged. "I, uh, have no fucking idea."
Emmett and Jake laughed. Bella rolled her eyes.
"C'mon, dude! You must have thought of something?"
I shook my head. "Nah, really man, I don't know. Do you have any ideas?"
Jake laughed again. "Oh, dude, I don't know either! I don't know you well enough." He looked at Emmett, then at Bella. "You guys know him. What should we do?"
Emmett shrugged, but I could barely pay him any mind, because suddenly Bella's eyes were boring into mine.
"I dare you to get a 'B.' For Bella" She said.
Her boyfriend laughed, amused. Emmett nearly spat out his beer.
I kept my eyes on hers, green to brown, searching them for her bluff. It wasn't there.
I was not going to be the one to lose this game of chicken.
"Okay, deal." I said.
"What, dude?!" Emmett yelled, but he was laughing, so Jake was laughing too. I didn't turn to look at either of them, I was still staring at Bella.
And she was still staring at me.
"You're crazy, Bells!" Her boyfriend exclaimed. "Really, Edward? You wanna get a 'B' for Bella?"
With a quick smirk, I finally broke away from her gaze and looked into the face of the man she now shared a life with. "Yeah, fuck it. Let's do it."
Bella hopped off the counter and headed upstairs without another word. Emmett was still laughing incredulously as Jacob Black drew out the large letter 'B' on transfer paper, getting ready to drill his girlfriend's initial into my upper thigh for life.
If I'm being honest, I fucking loved the tattoo. It was an olde English style letter, about two inches tall, and high up enough on my inner thigh that it was close to my balls.
A place I'd love for Bella to be.
I didn't see her again for the remainder of the day, so I was forced to make small talk with Jake as he worked on me. Emmett was making eyes at me every time Jake's head was down, giving me a 'what the fuck is going on' look. I didn't know the answer, so I just rolled my eyes at him. If Bella wanted to play games with me, I'd play.
It felt almost therapeutic to have a symbol of her on my skin forever. She had, after all, altered the course of my life in irreparable ways. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would love her forever, even if I never saw her again. It was only fair that she was represented on my body.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Alice burst through my bedroom door the next morning, waking me up way too fucking early once again.
"Uncle Carlisle and Esme are coming to Chicago on Thursday!" She exclaimed once I was finally awake enough to listen to her. "They want to do something with us for Mom."
Mom drowned at the beach on July 25th. In the first few years after it happened, when Alice and I were still kids and Dad had a shred of humanity left in him, Carlisle would fly out and we would all visit her grave before he took us for a nice dinner in her honor.
We hadn't done a thing on that day in years.
Carlisle and Esme arrived on the Thursday before Bella's charity show, which was that Saturday. I hadn't seen Dad since the Fourth of July, nearly two weeks prior. I wasn't even sure if he knew his brother-in-law was coming.
After the usual hugs and greetings, the four of us went out to Patsy's Diner, courtesy of our Aunt and Uncle. It was a shit hole on the South Side, but Esme seemed to love it, and it seemed to hold lots of memories for Carlisle.
"Your grandparents used to take your mother and I here every Sunday morning. It was our favorite place."
The Cullen Grandparents had both died before I was born. We had never known them, but Mom always spoke fondly of her parents, just like Carlisle was now.
"We didn't have a lot growing up, but we had each other, and Mom and Dad made sure we were happy and healthy." He went on. "I'd always imagined that one day, Elizabeth and I would have children of our own and give them the same experience. Unfortunately, life doesn't always turn out as we plan."
That night, Alice and Esme were inside doing whatever girl shit Alice was desperate to do while Carlisle and I sat on the porch out front, sharing a six pack.
"Esme can't have children, you know." He told me, continuing his conversation from earlier in the day. "I've always wanted kids of my own, but not as much as she does. When your mother died…" He paused when I flinched, sighing before he went on. "When Elizabeth died, Esme begged me to come and take you kids to Seattle with us. She knew your father was a damn drunk, and she was so heartbroken to think of you and your sister growing up without a mother." He sighed again. "I told her we couldn't take you away from your father. I was convinced he would get his shit together for you guys, raise you right to honor your mother. Obviously, I was dead wrong."
I laughed humorlessly, taking a sip out of my beer bottle. "I wouldn't really say he raised us at all."
Carlisle shook his head sadly. "No, he didn't. You had to raise yourself and your sister, and for that I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." I grumbled. It was no one's fault besides my parents; my mother's fault for getting too fucked up to keep herself alive, and my father's for everything fucking else.
"Maybe not, but…" He trailed off. "But, maybe, I should have just came and got you and brought you to Washington with me. Legally, that would be wrong, but morally…"
"I wouldn't have come with you, Carlisle." I interrupted. "I wouldn't have let you take Alice, either."
He sighed again. "I know that, Edward. That's why I had begged you to come out and visit for years. I hoped, maybe, if you saw how your life could be, you would change your mind."
I shrugged. "I doubt it. No matter how shitty things have gotten, this is our home. It's our shit, you know?"
"Elizabeth felt the same, you know. After I graduated college and got a decent paying job, I pleaded with her everyday to follow me out West, but she refused. I even offered to pay for an apartment for her. Sometimes, I thought she was cracking a bit, loosening up to the idea but then she became pregnant with you." Carlisle took a big swig of his brew. "Your mother wanted to raise you with the love and devotion our parents raised us with, and she firmly believed she would not be able to do so outside of Chicago."
My uncle cleared his throat before speaking again. "You're a lot like her, Edward. You're a Cullen through and through. I still wish you would at least give Seattle a chance, come live with your Aunt and I until you get yourself on your feet, but I think it's too late, now, isn't it?"
I nodded. "Yeah, it's too late."
"Maybe you would have cracked if not for that girl across the street, huh?"
I nodded again. "Maybe."
