Chapter Twelve: Overwhelm

"So beautiful…"

Such haunting words to her. A phantom from the past. She could still hear the inflection in his voice, the look of admiration in his eyes, his smile. This was the genesis of Kurogasa.

Chisa sat alone by the fire. It was late afternoon. Surely her stories were wearing on Kenshin and the others. Maybe they weren't even interested. Maybe they were listening out of pity. She did want to finish her previous story at least.

She stood up to stretch and took her hair down from its loose bun. She was getting a headache. "Keep your hair out of your face." a voice from the past directed. She dutifully put it back up and brushed a few strands out of her eyes.

She warmed her hands over the fire for a few minutes, hoping that would help them stop shaking. She needed to tell each story, to remove the burden that had been weighing on her for years. This day had been cathartic for her, but each memory was filled with strong emotions whether it was love, heartache, or paralyzing fear. She hoped the others knew how much they were helping her.

She ducked her head into the dojo, Kenshin and Kaoru were sitting talking about what to fix for dinner later in the evening. Sano and Yahiko were trying to convince Kenshin to be the cook. "I think I'm ready to continue, but please take your time."

"Yes! Chisa can decide! What do you want for dinner later!?" Yahiko shouted. Kaoru looked irritated at him.

"I don't want to impose any more than I already have. You all have been gracious enough to listen as long as you have. I should retire for the evening soon." She nodded her head toward them giving thanks.

"Oh, it's no problem, really! If you have to go, we won't hold you here against your will, but you certainly aren't imposing!" Kaoru was beginning to feel that listening to Chisa's stories were helping her with her own experiences with Kurogasa.

"Yeah, what else are we going to do?" Yahiko chuckled.

"Well, when you're ready, I'll be outside." Chisa smiled, "And Kaoru, please fix whatever you want. The boys chose lunch."

Back outside, Chisa took a seat closer to the fire. There was a chill in the air, unless it was her imagination. The others settled around her. Kenshin took a seat on the stoop, leaning on the sakabato.

"So he pulled me into his apartment…"

In Jin-e's apartment, one year before he joins the Shinsengumi:

Chisa was shaking beyond her own control. Her teeth were chattering and she could even feel the muscles in her face twitching. Tears were streaking through the blood on her face. Jin-e was no longer laughing or smiling, a point of gratitude for Chisa. "Aiko's dead." He said simply. He never called his mother anything but her given name.

Chisa was still too shaken to speak. Her hair, previously in a braid, was disheveled along with her bloody kimono.

"Keep your hair out of your face." Jin-e said sternly, running his hand through her hair, tucking what had come loose behind her ear. "You're far too pretty to hide your face."

"Jin-e, your mother…" These were the only words she could get to come out. The apartment itself was small, only two rooms: A shared bedroom and a main living area. There was only one doorway but no door. The smell was strong; years of stale alcohol, cigarette smoke, and a sick smell that Chisa couldn't name. She looked into the bedroom. To her horror, Aiko was still lying in her bed on the floor with a white cloth covering her face. "Your mother…"

Jin-e took the sleeve of his robe and wiped Chisa's face carefully, though he was still bloody himself. "I already went to fetch someone to pick her up. They won't come to this area until the sun is up. I should have found them earlier in the day, but I just couldn't…"

"Jin-e…" She still couldn't find any words. Her heart ached for him, but she couldn't read how he was feeling at all. His relationship with his mother was so complex it would be hard to say. He seemed to be almost out of…whatever kind of episode he had, but seemed very tired.

He bent down and kissed her again. She gasped and stepped away from him. "Please…Did you kill that man?"

"No, he'll be ok. I'll go outside and check after I take care of you." He took another step towards her. Chisa backed up against the wall. "Don't be angry with me. I, I just saved you." The words seemed harsh, but there was a slight quiver in his voice.

She looked again at his mother's corpse lying closeby, but Jin-e took his hand and guided her head so her eyes were facing him. "Don't be scared of me either." He stepped closer again. "I'm leaving in less than a year to join the Shinsengumi. They want me to take the rest of the year to train and prepare for my service. When I'm not training or sleeping, I want to spend that time with you."

Chisa started crying harder…Too many things were happening at once. The need to see him, the strangers, the assault, that first kiss, his mother, and now the Shinsengumi. She became light headed and her vision became swimmy. Chisa blacked out.

When she came to only a few minutes later, Jin-e was sitting in the floor with her head on his lap. He had wiped the blood off his face and hands with an old rag.

"Please don't leave. You'll die." She said, tears welling in her eyes again.

"Stop crying. I told you, I want to enjoy what time I have with you before I go. Things will be different after." He stared at her intensely, not knowing how true his words were.

Chisa buried her face in his chest and sobbed harder. She had been wanting to have time with just him for so long and now it was being taken away from her after their first kiss. He rubbed his hand on her back.

"So where do we go from here?" She hiccuped.

Out of nowhere, there was a voice at the door. It was Mr. Kitagawa.

"Jin-e, are you home? Chutaro said no one has seen Chisa this evening."

There was essentially nowhere Chisa could hide. She hiccuped again trying to choke back her tears. Her father knocked on the doorframe. "Jin-e, if you know something please tell me where my daughter is."

Being true to Mr. Kitagawa, he stood to go to the door. Chisa looked at him and shook her head "no" at him, begging him with her eyes. He didn't listen and he went to let her father in. She didn't know if he simply wasn't thinking or if he simply didn't care.

Chisa was certainly not looking her best. Her hair, despite Jin-e's brief effort, was falling out of its braid. Her kimono was gaping in the front and her obi was loose from the men grabbing at it. And the blood of course. The bottom of her kimono was spattered lightly and there were still light smears on her face and neck, though this was harder to see at first glance. She had no idea what she was going to tell her father.

As the door slid open, Mr. Kitagawa immediately locked eyes with his daughter who was still sitting on the floor. She continued crying, feeling caught in a trap. Her father studied her for a moment and whipped his head to look at Jin-e. He could no longer look the boy in the eyes without glancing upward. "What is going on here?" This was the first time he had sounded angry with Jin-e.

He told him the full truth including the news about his mother, hoping to be believed. It was a long shot given Chisa's appearance, the time of night, and the secrecy. She stood and showed her father the blood. He still seemed pensive, until he looked into the bedroom and saw Aiko's body. He pushed his way inside the small apartment and held a hand out to Chisa. "We'll tell your mother that you made a poor decision coming here and Jin-e came to your rescue. We will step outside so you can fix yourself." He shifted his gaze towards the younger man again. "I hope for all our sakes that this story is true."

When they were outside, Mr. Kitagawa opened an uncomfortable conversation. "Jin-e, we've talked about women before you know. And Akari."

"Sir, it was nothing like that, despite how she looked. Those men, they would have…" Jin-e didn't finish the sentence.

"She has to be married one day, you know. Her husband will…" Mr. Kitagawa didn't finish his sentence either. Jin-e wasn't sure what he meant to say. "That aside, have you contacted anyone about your mother?"

"Yes, sir. They're coming in the morning."

"Good. Be at our house after training. I hear you will be there for longer hours moving forward, but stop by. I will have work for you to earn a living until you enter the Shinsengumi." Mr. Kitagawa made direct eye contact.

"You heard?"

"Of course. I'm paying your tuition. They told me that was the plan." He nodded. "Does Chisa know?"

"Yes sir. I just told her. She doesn't want me to leave."

"Does that change your plans?" Mr. Kitagawa truly wanted to know the answer.

"Not at all." Jin-e said flatly.

Chisa stepped outside, slightly improved, but big tears were still running down her face. Her father patted her shoulder and motioned for them to leave. She turned around, making eye contact with Jin-e one last time that evening. "Good night, Jin-e…"

"Good night, Chisa."