Chapter XVIII: Federal Inquiry
They regrouped after the trial, and spirits couldn't be higher. Jaune couldn't stop the grin that threatened to split his face apart, not that he wanted to. While he would have been more reserved and even worried about Pyrrha, Weiss, and Yang, Franky had assured them that the higher ups would be the ones mostly taking the blame. Jaune wasn't sure how Franky could be so confident, but it was contagious. Even Nora, who he was surprised to find on their side, was celebrating with them.
The ginger ball of energy was eagerly chatting Ren's ear off; Neptune was thanking Franky for the help; Ruby was doing a good job of keeping Neo in check; the most surprising duo was seeing Sun and Cardin getting along. In Jaune's opinion, some of the things Cardin was saying would have made him cringe in worry if not for Sun's reaction. The other boy just laughed along and told Cardin to try it.
As the time passed, Jaune's eyes kept wandering around, almost as if looking around for the three of his friends unable to be there. They hadn't gone too far from the courthouse, seeing as the building was the majority of an island and they were standing on the docks only feet away. Despite that, he knew the others would still be inside, so he wouldn't find them. Of all those that noticed him like this, Blake chose to distract him, bringing up a conversation they had on the train.
Ren finally gained enough freedom to approach him. "What's the plan with those two?" The two in question were quick to realize they were the topic. Sun and Neptune made their way over.
"I would never want to impede on your freedom," Jaune stated, "but we could always use new nakama." He held out his hand for only a moment before Sun shook it.
"I always wanted to be the captain," Sun lamented. "It's fine though. Clearly, we were in over our heads and you guys seem to be doing something right, so why not? Are you cool with this, Neptune?"
Neptune sighed despite his smile. "Fine by me. You managed to convince me somehow. Besides, I finally made peace with water."
"Peace with water?" echoed Cardin.
"Aquaphobic," Sun supplied. "Actually, ex-aquaphobic. I told you, man: brute force exposure therapy."
Neptune just rolled his eyes, and the conversation went on until Nora spoke up. "I should probably go back now."
Jaune gave her a dubious look. "You're going back with the marines? You're more than welcome to come with us."
"Well, I'd feel bad if I just left them after this. And I'm totally — make no mistake — not a pirate." With that, she bid farewell. Ren was informed no few times that it was required of him to contact her often, lest he face the wrath of Nora.
The air was tense when team PWNY reunited. Ozpin was paying the money and making several calls to Sengoku, but that did nothing to lift their spirits. Nora tried explaining herself, but Weiss had shut it down all too fast. Pyrrha made some subtle comments about resolve, but Yang settled it by having Nora reassure that she was still on their side. Explaining that she couldn't fight Ren, Nora told them the rest was a coincidence.
Pyrrha wanted to mention that she had told Nora to fight Cardin instead, but she couldn't. Being in a similar situation herself, Pyrrha sympathized too much to be upset at Nora any longer than a moment. The atmosphere still said the girl was in the dog house.
When Yang brought up the seagulls, Weiss was quick to discuss with Nora what it meant to be a land owner.
It was a bit emotional bidding farewell to the Super Franky Building Co. Franky was 'sweating from his eyes' nearly the entire time. Jaune was surprised how quickly they had seemed to bond, but he still promised to Franky that they would keep in touch, now that the internet was up and running.
The land Nora owned was part of the connected chain of islands, a bit of luck they were happy to have. Leaving the warehouse, they took the train off the island to have one last look at the tower. If you asked Jaune how Franky managed to finish building it by now, the only answer Jaune could give was magic — and only an idiot would believe in something like that. The point was, from when it was still incomplete to after its semi-destruction, the trial, and heading back, it was finished now. At least, it was up and running. Blake's guess was that the technical stuff was finished earlier, but that would mean that they built a complex system in even less time.
This time around, the train ride was even more crowded with two new members. It was exciting to have more friends aboard, but if their current situation said anything, The Bucket might be a bit more cramped now. Sun, who was at the end of the same booth as Jaune, insisted that he formally revoke his title as a warlord. He explained that while they could just ignore it and the marines would likely revoke it themselves, he didn't want them to have the chance to try anything. Jaune would have asked him why they hadn't just dropped the title after Neptune argued against it in court, but Ren was squished between him and Sun, so it was a bit difficult.
Across from them, Cardin had learned from his earlier mistake and had knowingly let Neptune befall the same fate. That was going to be awkward not too long from then. Sun and Neptune were getting off the train early to stop at a small marine base along the way. Sun had initially said he could go on his own since only he was the warlord, but he had agreed when Jaune said he should bring back up. After all, they had now officially committed a crime that couldn't be covered up.
The suitcase with their settlement rested between his legs. Jaune wasn't entirely sure how it happened this way, but they were supposed to pay taxes on it, but it was given to them without the cut taken out already. When they saw how much was to back to the government, there was a collective agreement to 'forget' that part. Even Ruby, who was hesitant at first, begrudgingly agreed. That being said, they wouldn't be able to pull something like the trial again.
Eventually, the time came and the two departed. Jaune promised that they would bring their ship around come the time to pick them up.
Silverware softly tapped against fine China as the two members of the household ate dinner. Of course, there were others there like the two butlers cutting Jacques' food for him, but he dismissed their presence. Willow sat distantly across from him, ever sipping her wine. How was it that she could act so calm when she had done something so horrendous?
"Cut my food more angrily," Jacques instructed.
"Yes sir, right away, sir." The butlers intensified their efforts, dramatically making a show of the anger of the person who instructed them while they remained calm.
Despite the sudden change, Willow still looked lost in her own mind. Jacques simmered in his ire before plastering a fake smile over it. "I'm well aware of how you've been spending your time."
"Oh?"
Jacques harrumphed. "Yes; you thought I wouldn't notice? Well, it began when I noticed in the paper that a certain White Fang leader had passed — the angry one. I took a moment to laugh triumphantly before I read on. Supposedly, he died of asphyxiation — monologuing, if I remember. I decided that would be quite the show to view, so I thought I would search to find it. How do you think I felt when I reached a dead end?"
Willow slowly set down her glass, but did little else to break her facade. Jacques went on, "I of course then used money to find out what had happened. And that led to you. Butler number one, slam your hands on the table in accusatory rage."
The butler did so, shaking the meal on the table and even knocking over a few dishes. "My apologies sir, I made a mess."
"Quite alright," Jacques dismissed. "It added to the effect. As I was saying, I am aware that you were conspiring with this Adam Taurus, which can only mean one thing: you corrupted Whitley!"
"Pardon?" Willow seemed genuinely confused, not entirely seeing the connection.
"Of course, you were likely conspiring my murder with this Taurus, but that's hardly the point. My final chance at having a proper heir to this company was squandered when Whitley did not arrive to meet me for my latest meeting on the Grand Line. I thought it was some fluke or an incompetent navigator, but no. Butler number two, reach inside my coat. It's the second pocket, pull out the poster and slam it onto the table."
Moments later, the wanted poster of 'Salty' Whitley Schnee was on the table. "Now point at her accusingly — no, no, no, more accusation! There you go. Where was I? Ah, yes, I know you are of the criminal sort and that you have turned my heir a pirate! What do you have to say for yourself?"
Willow sighed, as if debating with herself over something. Finally, she responded, "Any parent should be proud to have a child that is a pirate. I could never see myself as his mother doing anything but encouraging him to follow his dreams."
There was a long pause. "Butler number one, flip the table."
It was in sight. It had to be a motherly instinct that told her so. Upon a small outcropping of an island stood an odd looking tower, and she could feel him up there. They docked their ship and she prepared to make her demands, but her husband bellowed out before she could.
"Run you fool! Save yourself before it's too late!" He was silenced when his daughters dragged him mercilessly away.
Juniper rolled her eyes; boys had a knack for being over-dramatic. "Jaune Arc!" All sounds of life ceased. The songs of birds and hums of bugs silenced in anticipation. "Get down here this instant! Don't make me come up there and drag you down myself!"
One of the smaller windows higher up near the top opened, and a distant mop of blond hair peeked out. "No! You can't make me!"
"Excuse me?" The railing of the ship splintered under her grip. "I'll give you until the count of ten! If you're not down here by then, I'll tear that building apart to get to you!"
One of the others with him, a boy with brown hair, called out, "This is private property; we'll sue."
"Dude, that's my mom." It was hushed and faint, but she could hear them bickering.
"One! Two!" She called out, and began her counting. The movements above had become more frantic, she could tell from the cacophony that she could faintly hear. As she began to make her way onto the land, nearing the zenith of her count, she felt another presence arriving.
Turning to check, she was greeted by that vile woman who openly wished her son harm. Did she not learn her lesson? Was she crazy? With how the woman stood at the prow, hands held out like claws and nearly cackling, Juniper would guess the latter. She supposed her idiot son would have to wait a moment while she dealt with this new arrival.
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the rest of the delinquents he surrounded himself with running off toward their ship. That was fine, she didn't care what they did. All she cared about was that she didn't see a tall boy with blond hair running with them, and she didn't.
"Okay, remember the plan?" asked Sun, and Neptune nodded. The timing needed to be perfect, so they were waiting outside to be able to see the ship. They were sitting together on a bench in a pseudo-park area, the kind that was clearly man-made and placed on top of concrete. The building, to their left, had sparked a conversation about how it disturbingly reminded them both of a DMV. Hopefully, they wouldn't have to wait too long once they were inside. If it did, their timing might be off.
"There it is." Both of them had their eyes on the waters and they spotted it at the same time, but Neptune was the one who said it.
The building was just as dreary on the inside as it was on the outside. The walls were painted a fascinating dead-end-job gray while the floors were an almost-but-just-not white. They were seated in a lobby after being given a ticket. Sun sighed, seeing the three people ahead of them, and tried to let the smooth jazz that was playing calm him.
Eventually, their number was called, and a lady behind the desk greeted them. "What can I do for you, sirs — oh, you're the ones from that case right? Can I assume you're here to pay the taxes on your settlement?"
"Well, first I would actually like to revoke my status as warlord," Sun told her.
She hardly seemed phased by the statement and sent some documents to her printer. It took all of Neptune's strength not to glance down to his side. A woman's child was staring unblinking at him, and the lady's printer was taking forever to print. After the pages came out and some 'sign here's, Sun was no longer a warlord.
"Alright, and are you going to pay your taxes now?"
Sun smiled back at her. "No."
"Well then, you two are under arrest. Have a nice day and please come again soon."
No one batted an eye as the marine soldiers came to arrest them. It was almost as if they had been waiting just around the corner. Both Sun and Neptune and the marines walked calmly through the lobby, as to not disturb those waiting there. With the entrance being slowly blocked off, Neptune turned them to the door that led farther into the building. As soon as the lobby was behind them, they were running.
The crowd of marines was increasing in size. Each turn led to two or three more added on. Their journey led to a long, narrow corridor with only a window at the end. Together, they ran to it and peered out.
Throwing it open, Sun turned back to their would-be captors. "Remember this as the day you almost caught the great Sun Wukong!" He then promptly launched himself out the window. A moment later, there was a loud splash.
"He missed," Neptune said to himself. Vaulting the bottom of the window, he followed. After him came a metallic thud instead.
Once the situation set in, one of the marines asked, "Who is he the grandson of?"
"Grandson?" Another echoed. "He said 'great' son, like his title as a son is great."
"Don't start with your grammar shit, Gary."
"I'm sorry that I care about language."
"Guys," a new marine joined in. "He was obviously talking about the sun in the sky."
Chaos overtook the crowd of marines.
"I told you, I was scared!" Jaune huffed as he sat down next to a completely soaked Sun who looked far more upset that his stunt was ruined than falling in the water. "She doesn't even have her aura unlocked. I should say I don't know how she made it this far onto the Grand Line, but honestly? Good luck to anyone that tries to stop her. I'm just glad she didn't know my devil fruit."
It had been a gamble on whether or not she would go after them if she didn't see Jaune there, but his mother had let them pass while Jaune swam under the ground. The whole situation had been quite the finale to Blake's call.
"I guess you were right," Blake admitted. "That was a bit more of an extreme reaction than I had expected. Do you think your father will be okay?"
Solemnly, Jaune muttered, "He married her, so I imagine he's gone through worse." Then, with more enthusiasm, he added, "I also still can't believe your dad is Ghira."
Ruby giggled, "Yeah; it's kind of funny how my uncle and your dad are crewmates and that Jaune knew them both." Blake wasn't sure how she felt about it, but her thoughts grouped well together as 'weird.'
"Is this going to happen again?" Ren stepped in. "If this is going to be recurring, then it might be a problem."
Jaune shrugged Ren's worries off. "Whether or not she does or doesn't, we should have some time now to prepare. We're aware now, and we have a great new tool we can use." Jaune unplugged his scroll and turned it on. He nearly teared up when he saw that he had a signal.
Ren wasn't as confident. "How will that help"
Jaune shrugged. It wasn't like he had any particular idea in mind, but it had to count for something. Maybe there would be news reports or stuff on other media that would show where she was. His mother could have quite the presence.
"Anyone want to play some games?" Ruby waited expectantly.
Sengoku was furious. He knew Ozpin was an odd man, shrouded in his own secrets, but he had trusted him. It was rare that he had ever fallen through on his promises, but this was more than that. Damage control for their reputation was put into high gear, and it was lucky how they could frame it: a young group of loose cannons with little official connection to the marines. They could tell the public that they were working on disciplining them and guiding them in a better direction. With that, they could at least save some face.
With that, he had another two pains in his ass. The first was a certain lieutenant who was partially responsible for this mess. Not directly and only minimally, but was by far not the first time he had done something like this. It gave him a migraine just thinking about how the public would hear about a higher ranking marine mentioning 'good pirates.' It made his solution seem counterintuitive. On the other hand, it would let them monitor him more closely and not have the bad influence of Garp. Why couldn't he be like his brothers?
Lastly was the reason he was alone in his office, scrubbing madly at his hair. Qrow was back to sailing and causing issues, and somehow that crow came with him. His running theory was that Ozpin had been onto something, just barely missing the mark. That damn bird couldn't be Qrow, but it could be his pet. Supporting that theory was the fact that it was entirely possible he would train it to do something like this.
He swore on his life that he was going to retire before the world made him pull all his hair out.
Polished leather embedded into the stomach of a man. He gasped for breath, but another kick left him coughing up blood. He dragged himself across the rough floor of the dark room, desperate to reach the light coming from the crack in the door. Once more, he was sent tumbling back across the ground. Shakily, he raised his hand toward his goal only for it to be stomped down.
Another man dressed in a black suit stood above him. His eyebrows and small goatee were rounded like the cloud of hair that fell from the back of his hat. Though his suit and hat were black and white, the latter had a burgundy stripe and his shoes were slick with red.
He wasn't alone, many of his compatriots surrounding him as he beat the begging man beneath him. "It's scum like you that make me sick," he said to his victim. "Vile monsters that act like our equals when you're really just beneath us."
"I'm sorry!" wailed the beaten man. "I tried to do it myself, but I —"
"Silence!" A swift kick sent the man spiraling once more. "There is no excuse, and you should know that. Any proper citizen should know that. Do you not understand how serious of a crime this is — do you think I can let this go unpunished? Tax fraud is the worst crime you can commit; of course the IRS would come after you!"
"I'm sorry I didn't pay enough, I just got it wrong! I have the money — I can pay it!"
"You will," his tormentor promised, "but first, you must face your punishment. I could never let someone like you just pay after such an offense. Taxes are vital to our way of life. A great man once said that the only guarantees in life are death and taxes, and you should never forget that. The same government that protects you must have some sort of funding to run, and it's your contribution that does that. To abstain from that obligation is to declare yourself separate from its denizens as a hostile party. It is both my duty and my pleasure to remind you that you are a citizen."
"Lucci," a woman behind him called. "It appears that the Straw Hats failed our test."
Lucci reigned in his emotions, letting his features harden. "My hunch is never wrong. I knew they were criminals the moment I laid eyes on them, yet the judge and jury were fools to ever believe otherwise. This is why we give them the choice; they must decide to pay or fall in their greed. Criminals are all the same, wanting to hold onto money that isn't theirs. How much did they keep?"
"They paid nothing."
"Evaders," Lucci growled. "Tax evaders are the worst of the worst. Have their bounties raised immediately. We'll follow them shortly; this isn't a sum we can just ignore. You," he pointed down at the man beneath him. "Feel lucky that there was scum worse than you to be punished. Don't forget that 31 cents is not 32 cents."
The man nodded profusely and scampered off. "What about the girl?" The woman asked. "She was also part of it."
"She's a marine and she wasn't handed the settlement," responded Lucci. "Her higher-ups will handle her punishment, so it's nothing for us to concern ourselves with. As for Straw Hat Jaune, he thinks he can outrun the IRS."
Qrow leaned lazily against the railing of his ship, waiting for someone to arrive. Port was next to him, laughing along with the crew to the latest newspaper. It was always fun seeing their captain get away with the craziest stunts imaginable. Qrow was too busy watching the horizon to really care at the moment.
"Come on! Celebrate your handiwork a bit, Captain." Port slapped his shoulder, but Qrow shrugged it off.
"It's not my work actually," he responded matter-of-factly. "Someone else did it."
"Yeah; who?" Junior shouted back.
"It's another bird," Qrow insisted. "I actually met him not too long ago. Handsome guy with great black feathers, also named Crow."
"So you?" Clover joined in on the game, though he seemed more interested in the game of cards he had started with Ghira. They made sure to exclude their captain since he never knew what he was doing when it came to them.
"Nah," Qrow waved dismissively, "It's, uh, Crow with a 'C.' Totally different."
"So, C, R, O, W?" Port asked, tilting his eyebrows questioningly.
"C, Q, R, O, W," Qrow corrected. They all knew that back in the day, Qrow loved messing with the marines and making them question their own sanity. The fact that both his semblance and his devil fruit were well known made it easy to hide the fact it was him. Though they never questioned it, Qrow never gave a proper response when they asked him how. He always gave the same dismissive response about magic. It didn't matter though. The Grand Line was a huge and odd place, so it never felt out of the ordinary. It was just another quirk of their captain.
Then he spotted it, a black speck headed toward them in the distance. "And there he is. Meet the new bird taking up the helm of fucking around with Sengoku for us: Cqrow!"
Said bird landed on Qrow's arm, looking rather pleased with himself.
AN:
This has to be one of my favorite chapters yet. My friend was obsessed with the court scene, but I've been looking forward to CP9 IRS. I've also had the Jack Sparrow reference planned since my friend first proposed the court case, which was back before I was even writing about them finding the CCT plans. There were a few last moment jokes added into this one as well.
The Jacques scene was planned out so that Willow would be forced to the Grand Line, but he never accused her of being a revolutionary. The butler part was something that just came to me as I was writing it and I died laughing. My trying to capture a mundane feeling lobby was also last second. I was at first just trying to fill out that scene, then I thought about trying to juxtapose a waiting area to a chase. Then the marines arguing was also something I came up with while writing it. It partly comes from my frustrations with autocorrect trying to change the hell out of his name every time I write it. Finally, Cqrow was a really stupid idea that I love. I was writing the scene with Sengoku, and it was just supposed to be a theory of his, but then I was like "what if he's actually right though?"
If I tried to say it was always Cqrow instead of Qrow, that would be a bit of retconning since I already said early on that Qrow utilized his crow form for piracy. I only ever implied it was him with Sengoku, but I decided doing it like this would feel less like retconning and it opened up for me to expand on the concept. Cqrow is only starting his journey as an Onyx Feather pirate — what adventure awaits him? Hopefully he doesn't learn cards from Qrow — anyone but him.
I will say that I feel like I rushed Juniper switching her attention to Cinder. My idea was that she only cared about Jaune and was keeping an eye out for him while taking care of who she saw as a threat; however, the former was the more important part, and I felt that I left it as somewhat a side note.
The last thing I wanted to talk about here is that I'm finally caught up to my writing. I'm only halfway through the next chapter, but without having to worry about revising previous chapters, I'll hopefully be faster at writing. I've also been busy lately and now my schedule is a bit more open. I'll do my best to try and be weekly if not every two weeks at the longest. One thing is that I'll need to be more thoughtful of my chapter titles. I didn't expect to be putting the name of the next chapter at the end of each one, and sometimes I change my mind on them before I finish them.
Anyways, next chapter: Davy Back Ignored
