Chapter 7 (Say You Won't Let Go)
Gaara pushes through the front door and allows it to bang against the wall, annoyed at the recent turn of events as he stalks into his home. Temari appears in the door way then just in time to see the humorous event if Gaara hadn't looks murderous.
Gaara stalks by with his sand wrapped and immobilizing one dark haired best friend, and one loud older brother before he unceremoniously drops them on the floor of the living room as Temari looks at everyone concerned. It has been a while since Gaara has been this annoyed at anyone and as far as she knew, Kankuro and Akira had never meet each other before. She opens her mouth to ask what is going on, until Kankuro and Akira rise and begin yelling at each other. Now she cares a decent amount less as Gaara claps his hands together and sand closes both their mouths.
"What the hell guys?!" Temari chimes in as Gaara looks at her thankfully as Akira and Kankuro glare at each other. Akira turns and makes muffled noised behind Gaara's sand who sighs and drops it.
"This fucking idiot broke my arm last mission-."
"You tried to break Karasu-."
"One at a time!" Temari screeches and smashes her fists on both of their heads as Akira yelps and Kankuro winces.
"Kankuro and I were paired last mission, I read his file and saw he was a puppet user but I thought he was caught-."
"You were mistaken since I had my puppets and we caught the dude-."
"Yeah but you didn't need to break my arm-!" Gaara claps again and sand slides around both their mouths as Temari and Gaara exchange a sighing glance.
They had been hoping the meeting between the two would have been less conflicted. They both loved their brother, and Akira is close to them. Although they didn't mind the bickering, Kankuro rarely got flared up and when he did, it wouldn't end until he was right in some aspect.
"Is there any way to resolve this?" Temari asks dryly as Kankuro shakes his head 'no' but Akira nods a 'yes'.
Curious, Gaara drops his sand and almost wishes he didn't when she plainly says, "Just let me break his arm."
Kankuro hums angrily behind the sand holding his mouth closed and Gaara closes her mouth again as she starts to complain.
"You know if they fight this out, maybe then it'll be settled." Temari answers as Gaara looks at her concerned.
"Do you really think that is the most peaceful solution?" he asks as Akira and Kankuro flip each other off behind him and Temari tries not to chuckle.
"Honestly? Under normal circumstances no, but for them, probably." She says as Gaara sighs and snaps his fingers.
"Just a spar, ninjutsu allowed and one match. Whoever wins, gets to win the argument." He says as Kankuro and Akira shrug.
"Sounds fine to me."
"Prepare to get your arm broken."
Kankuro jumps back as Akira tries to land a punch and Gaara and Temari look on. Gaara shifts a bit as a kunai flies at Akira who flips backward and lands a bit away. She moves her arm down and Kankuro looks up in just in time and he smirks as Kuroari appears blocking the kunai. She grimaces and watches Kankuro carefully as he moves his fingers again. She moves her own arm back and drops back into her stance as her kunai draw back and float around her.
Temari is amused at the fight, and at Gaara's behavior, his sand is moving around in his gourd and he is tense. And he shifts whenever a kunai or a puppet comes close to either his brother, or friend. Temari nudges him after a moment and smiles at him.
"We are shinobi Gaara, you can't protect everyone that goes out on mission. Every day you have a chance of losing me, Kankuro, Akira, anyone. To be Kazekage, you have to walk alone sometimes but know that the entire village supports you." She says as Akira and Kankuro battle, and blades clang in the distance.
"We will support you to the end, you won't be alone, but please stop worrying about losing us." She says and Gaara considers her words before shaking his head.
"I won't stop, but I will trust you to take care of yourselves, and to come back. Like I always do." He says and Temari smiles at him before throwing an arm around his shoulder.
"That's my kid brother." She smiles and Gaara blinks at the hug before smiling back at Temari.
Akira is sweating more than she cares to admit and Kankuro is annoyed at the turn of events. He knew she is an exceptional kunoichi, knew she is also a medic. But he didn't think she was this strong in her taijutsu and her speed is amazing. She is dodging a majority of Karasu's movements and blocking Kuroari's if she could. Kankuro has a plan though. He always does. Temari and Gaara watch how he corners Akira, they know how he fights and works, as he manages to make Akira believe she is getting closer to him as though he isn't aware. He has already pulled Karasu back enough, and Kuroari is already in place. Akira smiles as she manages to punch him in the stomach and he takes it with a grunt before smirking.
And he watches Akira's face fall once she realizes it is all a trap. Karasu reveals himself in Kankuro's place and she tumbles backward into Kuroari's open stomach. She grunts as her head hits the inside and she hears Kankuro being pronounced the winner. But enclosed in the dark quiet place, she feels her heart accelerate and she gasps for air.
'No.' she thought as she focuses on her breathing. 'No, not now.'
It doesn't matter as her body ignores her thoughts and acts on it's own. Nausea rolls in her stomach and she groans trying hard to take deep breaths as the shaking starts. Her heartbeat is erratic, her breathing irregular, and fear is pushing her to run, to fight, to move out of the puppet. But it is also keeping her in place as she presses hands hard against the wooden inside. She is scared, so damn scared as her heart thuds in her chest and a memory snaps into place in her mind.
'A big dark metal box, her being barely tall enough to see the top. Cold, cold, salt water rippled inside and suddenly she was in it. Drenched, drowning, darkness. She couldn't breathe, couldn'tbreathe, couldn'tbreathe-.
Gaara is about to clap Kankuro on the shoulder with Temari by his side when Akira screams within Kuroari. A loud piercing wail that shudders through them as Kankuro tenses and Temari runs for his puppet. He quickly twitches his fingers allowing Akira to be dumped out of Kuroari. Gaara can see her face, twisted in agony, terror and she is shaking where she crumbles in the sand. Temari grabs her and whips out her fan as the two brothers stare as their sister and Akira speed away and back to the village.
"What was that?" Kankuro asks as Gaara stares.
"I don't know." He answers after a moment as he looks at Kankuro who shakes his head at Gaara. He nods his head in the direction of the village, and the two tear away. Although Kankuro didn't like the girl, he didn't want to hurt her (unintentionally that is).
"I know what you're thinking but I didn't do anything besides trap her." He says raising his hands in the air as Gaara nods.
"I know I saw, just, is there anything in Kuroari?"
"No he was empty before this fight." He says and he watches his brother shift in worry. Gaara wore his emotions on his sleeve more and more recently and although Kankuro is thankful for the progress, it bothers him how close he is to this new girl.
"Gaara, can I ask you something?" he asks and Gaara nods.
"What?"
"Are you and that girl seeing each other?" he asks side-eyeing Gaara who looks at him with surprise.
"We see each other every night." He says plainly and Kankuro almost trips in surprise.
"What?!" he yells as Gaara's brow furrows in concern.
"Temari doesn't seem to mind, we're just friends." He explains and Kankuro relaxes at that. If Temari knows it can't be that bad.
"I feel like I keep her up at night when she should be sleeping however," He says and Kankuro tenses again.
"You're not-."
"I have no reason to be interested, Akira and I don't have that type of relationship." He admits after seeing Kankuro's face and finally putting the pieces together and Kankuro relaxes again, although not as much as before. He doesn't ask anymore not wanting to know any details as they reach the village.
Akira is panting as Temari settles her in her room. She is shaking and can't seem to stop as the memory sears itself into the forefront of her mind. Temari is there an arm around her as Akira tries to breathe through the fear that sits in her gut and the erratic beat of her heart. The room is quiet and Akira lets herself lean against Temari who pats her back and says nothing. She is more frustrated at her thoughts than anything, knowing the medical side she knows how to slow her heart-rate but she can't. She knows this is all irrational, but the panic doesn't subside, and knows she must look insane, but she can't help it.
It isn't until Akira is sitting with her knees up to her chest, and she has finally stopped shaking, that Temari brings her a glass of water. They still sit in the quiet as Akira sips her water.
"Thank you." She says eventually, voice hoarse, as Temari smiles tightly and nods.
"Anytime."
Gaara knocks softly on Temari's door and Kankuro watches from around the corner. He watches as Temari comes out arms crossed and as Gaara shifts uncomfortably.
"Yes?" she asks snarky as she raises a brow.
"Is she ok?" she shifts slightly as she sighs.
"She is going to be."
"What is-?"
"Don't." Temari says shaking her head as she raises a hand to stop Gaara's question. "That is for her to tell you when she is ready. I am not going to be an in between for you two. Respect her space." She says and Gaara frowns but nods once and Kankuro raises a brow.
The fact that both Temari and Gaara respect the girl surprises him and he turns away from the rest of the scene. He loves both his siblings and is glad that they both have a friend in that annoying girl. But she has the potential to hurt them both and that is something he doesn't like. He ultimately decides in that moment that he would be civil but keep her at arms-length. He would be the one to never see her with rose-colored glasses. He would protect his siblings.
Gaara heads over to Akira's like usual, and he almost doesn't notice anything off about the visit.
Almost.
Akira is quieter, he sees that she is lost in thought more often than in her book, and she hardly smiles and when she does it's more forced than anything. She doesn't even notice when he leaves the room to make a pot of tea. But she does notice when he presses a cup into her hands and holds her hands a moment longer. When she looks into his eyes, she finally gives him a small but genuine one and Gaara's tongue lets the words fly before he can stop himself.
"I'm here if you need me," he says uncertainly and Akira blinks before she sighs and smiles at him a larger smile.
"I know thank you. But I have a mission soon so I'm going to try and sleep."
"Ok." He nods and goes back to his work as he listens to Akira leave the room and come back in her usual bedtime attire.
She falls asleep fitfully, turning and twisting under the covers and Gaara tries to ignore the sighs of annoyance behind him. When she finally does find sleep, he is already done with his work and he waits a moment studying the time. He is done earlier than usual and decides to pick up a book in the meantime. Although a part of him tells him he should leave, Akira is asleep, and she wouldn't care if he did, but another part, one that tugs at his heart makes him stay. She has had a bad day, he reasons, if she wakes up before he leaves, at least he'll be here for her.
Gaara pauses from his book as he crosses his legs and looks amused at Akira. She's sleeping curled on the side of the bed with her nose tucked underneath the blanket. She doesn't sleep often but when she does it's always the same, unlike Kankuro who sleeps snoring on his stomach, or Temari who either sleeps straight on her back like a board or sprawled out everywhere. She seems endearing like this, and he can't help but feel warm knowing she trusts him enough to sleep around him. She shifts a bit and snuggles her blanket closer and he smiles because all he can see is a mop of dark hair.
That is until she groans in her sleep and starts talking.
"No stop. Stop it, I don't want- Stop! Stop it!" Gaara dashes over shaking her as she gasps awake he stares at her a moment eyes wide with concern but before he can voice it she's gone out of the room. He moves to go after her but stops partway when he hears her retching in the toilet. He wonders about getting Kana before remembering the dark violet-haired woman is on mission. Gaara stares at the bathroom door before nodding to himself making his decision to help in any way he can as he moves towards the door.
Akira glances from the toilet as Gaara awkwardly comes into the room, she feels incredibly self-conscious as he edges forward. His nose wrinkles in disgust before he catches himself and schools his features as he spreads his hands out.
"How do I help?" he asks brow furrowing in concern and Akira spits into the toilet.
"My pack is in my room. Green pill on the right side of the pack. Just one." She instructs and Gaara nods once before spinning on heel. He mentally makes a note to study more medicine in the future for moments like this as Akira rises on shaky legs and rinses out her mouth. By the time he finds the pill her mouth is brushed, and the evidence is gone as she takes the pill and sighs.
"I can't talk about the nightmare right now or I'll-." She cuts off and Gaara see her clench her fists trying and failing to stop the tremor in them as she looks down. He nods once and wraps an arm around her still stiff as he helps her to the bed.
If he is honest with himself, Gaara has no idea what he is doing, he's only seen Kankuro help Temari once or twice. And even then, he wasn't in his… best mental state.
Gaara helps Akira situate herself on the bed, he knows she's not shaking from the cold but he still drapes the blanket around her as she pulls her legs close to her chest and tucks her chin in. She tries and fails to give him an encouraging look and he once again leaves the room and Akira tries to take a calming breath when he does.
'He is coming back, there is no reason to freak out.' She tries to reason but her heart ignores her and panic is about to set in when he enters again.
Gaara carefully presses a cup of weak warm tea into her hands and he looks at her a moment.
"I won't press you. I'm here for you." He says and he, too, looks shaken, but despite it all his eyes are genuine and maybe it's the panic, nightmare, today in general, but it all presses in on Akira and she snaps.
Gaara had been expecting a small sweet smile, for the trembling to stop. He was not expecting Akira to burst into tears so badly that his sand has to catch the tea as she flings herself against him. She sobs loudly and terribly into his shoulder and Gaara wraps his arms around her trying to console her to the best of his stiff abilities. He also is trying to ignore how soft and warm she feels against him because right now is certainly not the time, and he pats her back as she cries and is grateful she can't see his surprised and slightly freaked out face. Just as soon as she starts the realization of her break down hits her and she pulls back from Gaara.
"I'm sorry I need to stop. I need to be fine. I-." she stops taking in a shaking breath as she presses her hands to her face. "You have enough on your plate. Temari has enough. You don't need my shit. And I know you want to help but this is my past. I need to deal with it myself." She says looking down, her hands balling into fists at her sides, and even with her tears she looks nothing but determined.
Gaara stares a moment and he can't help but feel surprised.
She is stronger in ways he hasn't realized before.
But also so stubborn about things, she doesn't need to fight.
"You don't have to do it alone. Deal with it on your time. But know that Temari and I will help you anyway we can. We can all help each other. We're all friends." He says and Akira wipes her face and nods once. She still doesn't meet his eyes but she does tug him closer for another hug. Gaara squeezes back and Akira lets out a small sigh before pulling away.
"I know you two will help me. And talking about it helps, I used to talk with my brother about it a lot. But you two have gone through and are dealing with more shit than me-."
"You've helped us. We will help you." He says pulling away and this time he catches her eyes and she nods once.
"Well I can't talk about the…dream or memory I got. It's too much still. But every month the seal lets out a memory. It usually happens during the day and I try to mediate to process it, but it happens sometimes when I'm sleeping. At first it seems like a nightmare, but it's a memory, and it's all real, and I can't wake up." She stops herself and focuses on her breath as Gaara looks at her with concern. "My brother usually wakes me when my mom isn't here. This isn't the first one since I've been in Suna, but it is the first one without my mom. I should have warned you, I'm sorry. And with what happened today…Temari helped a lot. I just didn't expect being stuck in Kankuro's puppet would trigger it." She finishes and Gaara nods.
"Just tell me how to help." She smiles at that, a small one, granted, but he takes what he can get.
"Just talk to me. Like we usually do." She says and Gaara sits next to her on the bed. She's once more cocooned in her blankets and he sits with his legs outstretched and ankles crossed. It's silent for a moment before he looks at her.
"I came over the other night. When you were on mission."
"Oh, how was that?"
"Quiet. Quieter than normal."
"Did you get any work done?" she says a wry smile when he looks at her and nods.
"I did. But…"
"Hmm?" she says after he trails off and his soft sea form eyes meet her dark brown ones for a second before he turns away.
"It wasn't the same without you... I missed you." He admits although it takes a second for him to say it and Akira blinks surprised.
Maybe it's the light, her tired stressed out brain, or something other than what she thinks it is.
Because when he looks at her again, there is a slight red to his cheeks, a glow to his eyes, and even his hair is more aflame than usual. Her heart skips a beat and she recalls when he made it flutter last time. It was during the garden and how bright those beautiful eyes were then too.
Akira smiles at him and the warmth reaches her eyes as Gaara feels his chest tighten. It isn't painful, but his heart skips a moment and thumps a little harder. He turns away then as Akira looks down her face warm like her companions'. Something is changing between them and Temari is going to kick both of their asses, they just don't know it yet.
"I missed you too." She finally says after a moment before yawning and she swears.
"I still have a mission tomorrow. I don't- I don't think I can sleep though." She admits and Gaara looks at her.
"Is there anything I can do?" he asks and Akira tilts her head and shrugs.
"There's something my brother used to do, but you might be uncomfortable with it." She admits and glances at him as he nods once.
"I can do it."
Akira had fallen asleep almost too easily and he tilts his head at the thought as he pauses in his book. Her head is resting in his lap and he brushes his fingers through her hair and he realizes how long it has grown. It now stretches just past her shoulders and he can picture her with hair down her back, long and silky. He shakes the thought away knowing that she prefers it short and knows that Temari has tried to push long hair on her much to Akira's chagrin. She had insisted he didn't have to do this, to wake her up when he needed to leave. He shook his head against her thoughts because he knew that she would do this for him. He pauses again in his book as he recalls one-night Shukaku had been insistent on clawing his mind and Akira told him to lay down. She turned off the lights and laid next to him, gently holding his hand. He smiles at the memory and brushes his fingers through her hair again. Her lips twitch in her sleep and he smiles at her as Shukaku groans.
"Kami, I hate this romance shit." He mutters and Gaara elects to ignore him. There is no romance between them. There never would be.
Akira shifts slightly but snuggles Gaara's leg a little more and he lets out a puff of air. More amused than anything towards her as he returns to his book. It was high past the time he usually left, but he decided to stay late when she had first fallen asleep. He glances at the time and looks back at the sleeping girl and decides that a few more hours can't hurt especially when he sees the bags under her eyes and remembers the tear stains.
She deserves a rest.
Sand brushes gently against her cheek and Akira wakes up slowly to her head still resting on Gaara's lap. She sits up and rubs at her eyes before realizing that dawn is only a few hours away. He's stayed almost the entire night, and this is the longest she has slept in Kami knows how long. She's still processing even as she yawns and looks at Gaara her tongue fat in her mouth as she struggles to grasp something, anything, to say.
"Do you feel better?" Gaara asks gently as he swings his legs off the bed, although he's still turned toward her as she nods.
"You stayed?" she asks and he nods.
"I wanted to stay until I had to leave, or until you woke up."
"But this is the longest you've stayed, your usually gone before it gets this close to dawn."
"You needed me." Is all he says before he rises from the bed and makes his way to the window.
"I know but even my brother doesn't stay this long." She yawns again and rises meeting Gaara at the window as she smiles. She realizes her sleeve has rolled up during the night and goes to cover her arm when Gaara catches her wrist.
"You don't have to hide these with me remember?" he says gently as he looks at the thin long scars covering her arm as she sighs and gently tugs her arm away.
"I know- I just-, force of habit." she eventually croaks out before clearing her throat. "I'll tell you about the ones I remember one day. When I'm ready ok?" she says and Gaara nods before engulfing her in a hug and she sighs and relaxes in his arms. She's warm and brighter now than she had been last night and when she pulls back she looks at him a second. She nods once as though deciding something in her mind as she takes a deep breath.
"I hope I'm not overstepping but I want to thank you," she says and touches her hand to his cheek. Gaara notes the red on her cheeks as she takes a deep breath, notices her dark eyes as she leans close, and he stops thinking altogether.
Akira pecks Gaara's cheek quickly and softly before stepping back.
"I really really appreciate everything. Thank you Gaara." She says and finishes with a grin but there is undeniable blush on her cheeks and Gaara's own face feels a little warmer than usual as he nods. "I'll see you later." She waves a little and he is still stiff and nods once more and with that he is gone. His face still feels warm when he comes home, and his heart beats a little frantically when he thinks of the peck.
"Looks like someone has a crush." Shukaku chuckles as Gaara freezes.
Oh no.
-End- Song Choice: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur didn't initially come to mind when writing this until a little later. Originally it was Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance because of the lines "I see you lying next to me/With words I thought I'd never speak." for the scene where Gaara admits to missing her. Admits to himself that she is important to him. And admits to himself (with Shukaku's help) that maybe, just maybe, he has a crush on her. But James Arthur's song paints a better picture for the ending and with her moments between Temari and Gaara too. That I thought of a better scene to use Famous Last Words too so the song will get used EVENTUALLY!
But this isn't going to rush head first into romance to bear with me here. I actually debated on even introducing it at all. But we'll see where it goes. :)
Also real quick, updates are going to crazy for a while. I am still updating, I am still here. I'm just also taking a heavier college load. So yeah.
Well I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!
