Chapter 14 (Remember Everything)

Cold sinks into her skin and flesh as she shifts and shivers hard, trying to bury herself deeper in the thermal blanket that is nearly intoxicating in it's warmth, and threatens to drag her back into sweet dreamless bliss. Birdsong drifts into the cave preventing that and she groans as she opens her eyes, blurry and confused as they meet dimly lit cavern walls. She can smell the remnants of a fire as she rolls staring at the ceiling of the cavern, studying the differing shades of gray as light changes the gradient. Her body hurts a bit everywhere, her wrist aches the worst of it all, and she stares numbly for a moment before shivering once again as the thermal blanket does little against the cold floor, which is hard against her back. Growing more uncomfortable she shifts again with another quiet groan. Her head throbs and her bones seem to creak with every movement of her sore bruised body; she half wonders if she were to heal herself, if she would still be this sore. She finally sits up and listens a moment to the birdsong that drifts into the cave. Distant and almost a whisper of how loud and clear it really could be. She could still feel the cold under her as she rubs her wrist, taking note that the bandages around her neck probably need to be changed.

She hears footsteps coming and numbly turns in their direction as Gaara enters and his mint eyes land on her. She blinks at him a second and turns away as she vaguely remembers some of the night before. She remembers their mutual breakdown and holding each other through it. She had fallen asleep with her head in his lap last night. Had told him not to go near her once they were home.

But they are not home yet and it doesn't stop him from coming to kneel next to her, handing her some of their rations and water. He doesn't say anything as he eases himself down next to her, while she takes the food with her good hand and he takes her sore wrist gently as she eats. She tries to give him something akin to a smile but can't quite move her lips up enough. Gaara gives her fingers a quick squeeze and she feels herself relax more as he massages her tender joint.

Gaara's chakra is warm, soothing, and achingly familiar as the tendons, bones, muscles in her wrist relax under his gently rubbing fingers.

Akira shifts to lean against him with a content sigh, the birdsong still a distant sweet whisper, the blanket pools around her waist covering her legs. Gaara is warm and smells like a desert breeze on a bright day and something floral she couldn't quite place a finger on. She feels her lips try and tug a little at that knowledge. He didn't seem like the kind of man who would smell floral in any capacity. It is comfortable, familiar, here with him in the quiet and calm cave. For a moment her head doesn't hurt, for a moment (which she wished could last longer) she wants nothing more than to stay here with him.

But, of course, it is only a moment.

"I disabled the traps, organized our supplies and informed Baki. I… had sand underneath you to help you sleep properly but…" he pauses as his fingers stutter to a halt before Akira simply nods against his shoulder. She only vaguely understands, her mind still wrapping around having fought against a tailed beast who had possessed her friend, but she doesn't try to linger especially when she feels a pinprick of pain behind her temples. She might only vaguely remember being thrown around like a ragdoll but her aching body is enough evidence at what she had endured. "Whenever you are ready to leave." He finishes softly as she nods numbly against him again. He tilts his head trying to catch her face but can't as he gently stops the flow of chakra.

He doesn't say anything else, he isn't even sure what to say if he's honest. She's always been better at this part, always more open and understanding. All he can do is be here, with her for as long as he's able, and for as long as she'll let him. A part of him (which is larger than he's willing to admit) is debating on ending this. He has already hurt her, and even if she had truly meant her words yesterday, she hardly remembers him. The wall he wants to put up, to stop the coming pain before it finally hits, to push out Akira before she can truly hurt him, is easy enough to do, and harder to stop. The girl who had fought against Shukaku for him, had made promises to him, was vastly different than the one resting against him now.

But as Akira sighs against him, relaxed in the cave as she munches on the rations, he knows he has to try. She would do the same for him. And really, he reasons, that's all that matters.

Gaara is still holding her arm and he takes a breath, as he interlaces his fingers with hers. He stares at how her fingers fit against his longer ones, and he tilts his head against where hers rest on his shoulder. Her hair presses against his cheek and he closes his eyes because maybe she isn't the same girl, but she is still Akira and his friend.

Akira squeezes his hand, grateful for the support in way she couldn't describe as she sits and sips her water. That is until she realizes that she can barely feel the cold stone underneath her, and that the cool wet liquid against her lips is a dull sensation. She takes a breath trying to stay in the moment with him as she feels him press his cheek against the top of her head. She still feels some of Gaara's warmth and she knows in the back of her mind that she's slipping. Knows that she's going somewhere she shouldn't as the birdsong slowly beings to be muffled, as the light loses its intensity. She doesn't feel pain in her sore body as much, but then again, she isn't sure she feels… anything.

She's going down a hole and… she doesn't see a point in coming out. In stopping the descent.

Why should she? She doesn't have all her memories, doesn't know who to trust, and it hurt when she remembered. She barely remembers Gaara, her mother… she didn't even know she had a brother until she was told.

So, she lets herself slip into this hole were everything is muffled, dulled, softened, and maybe it isn't the best plan, but at least it won't hurt if she stays there.

Gaara takes the canteen when she's done, and notices the glaze in her eyes then. He feels the words get caught in his throat but can only squeeze her hand gently. Akira gives a small squeeze back and Gaara feels the guilt sit heavy in his chest before he leaves for a moment to get her medical supplies while she changes her undershirt back to a tan one. When he returns he once again cleans her wounds which have scabbed over, to the best of his abilities and fixes the bandages on her neck. It almost looks worse now, the angry impressions before are now larger and more blurred.

Like claws instead of fingers had gripped her throat.

He tries not to think about it anymore than that.

Gaara keeps track of their resting, gives her rations, and leads them home as Akira marches on besides him. Dutiful of their surroundings, careful of their tracks. He knows that there is a dullness to her eyes still, knows that her movements are mechanical at best, stiff and broken at worst. He keeps an eye on her but doesn't like how her eyes have darken, how her face remains smooth and emotionless. There is a standard mask shinobi wear, to keep their emotions in check, but this wasn't a mask it was a latency that had settled over her. Time passes but she doesn't seem to notice its almost dark. They are almost home when Gaara decides to stop for the night, to reach Suna early morning and he sends a message to Baki about their arrival. Gaara feels a hard twinge at the thought of reaching Suna so soon, happiness that they are almost home.

But he knows he'll have to let her go for a time.

"Akira," she stops and looks at him her dark brown eyes so dull they appear almost black now. "I understand you want to do this alone, but I am here and I will always be your friend." He doesn't see a flicker, doesn't see a change. Her eyes just as dark and hard as before and he feels his stomach drop.

What else is he supposed to say? What else is he supposed to do?

How had she done this before? She spoke her mind, her emotions on her sleeve at all times. Gaara has no idea what he is doing and he's losing her.

"Ok." She states, voice neutral, uncaring, emotionless.

Gaara doesn't say anything else, what else can he say? He just lets her lay down to rest as Akira brushes away a small tear, her eyes having watered a moment from his words.

She tries, desperately, to shove down the guilt that gnaws on her. She knows that they both need this, the distance to deal with what they went through, but if she's honest with herself she knows in her heart that it's all an excuse. She doesn't want to hurt him, but she needs distance. Needs a chance to figure things out without hurting anyone. Because hurting Gaara has never been her intention and this distance is probably hurting him. She goes to sleep uneasy and numb because, yes this is what she wants, but she's wondering if its worth the cost.


It takes them a hour to reach the village gates, and in the bright early-early morning hours, the sun has not fully risen and the desert is a soft glow under a soft blue sky. Baki is waiting at the gates when they arrive. His face is hard and unreadable to Akira but Gaara can tell after years of being around the man the silent anger in his eyes. He almost blanches at the sight, it had been years since Baki last looked at him like that. He looks at the pair, absolutely annoyed and angry at the disaster of a mission that had happened but glad to see minor injuries and that Gaara is still in control. He's about to ask for their stories when the girl interrupts.

"I need a hospital." She states simply, her voice hollow, and Baki takes in the dead eyes, her injured neck and nods once.

He knows what its like to come face-to-face with the tailed beast. At least she is one of the lucky ones to walk away alive. Or at the very least breathing.

"I will be coming by for a full report. Go on ahead." Baki nods once to a nearby shinobi guarding the gate who nods back. Akira follows the guard dutifully as Gaara watches, surprised and a little hurt at the unexpected goodbye. Even if, he reasons, he shouldn't be.

"Come. We need to get to Chiyo." Baki orders as Gaara looks at the man who helped train and raise him.

He nods once to him, and follows but can't help but look back at the direction Akira left in.


Gaara takes a deep breath as Chiyo's chakra examines him. It's different from Akira's, more confident and reaching. He watches Baki's face remain stone as Chiyo clicks her tongue. She had her arm twisted to examine Gaara when Baki had told her that the seal she had placed on him was inadequate, and the village she also lived in was in danger if the seal wasn't properly checked after everything he had been told.

"Well it would seem I was right." Chiyo states as she steps away from Gaara as Baki blinks.

"Pardon?" he asks as she chuckles. Gaara holds his shirt in his hands and looks between the two of them.

"I told the late Kazekage that sealing Shukaku into Gaara before he was born would result in a weaker seal. He didn't care. It seems that Shukaku has been trying to push Gaara toward turmoil to try and weaken the seal even further. Or at the very least, cause a… regression." She says giving Gaara a knowing look as he nods. He doesn't look away, he knows what she's getting at and while he does regret having been lost to the darkness, he refuses to go back. Chiyo's eyes seem to look through him though seeing something he can't before she turns away.

"Fortunately, the shinobi that went with you did a nice job of reinforcing the seal. That jutsu is an older technique, I'm surprised he knows it."

"She," Gaara corrects as Chiyo snorts.

"Of course, it's a she. Women have a better control over their chakra now don't they." She smirks at that before shrugging. "The seal is stabilized, and no demon is coming out for a while. Now if you two would stop bothering-."

The door to the room flies open before she could even finish as Kankuro and Temari nearly trip over themselves getting inside the room. They pause, half caught in the doorway and between trying to catch themselves. Gaara blinks at them surprised as they look at him with relief.

Before yelping once they look over at Baki who glares at them harshly and they straighten up.

"Gaara I'm glad you're alright! -."

"How was the mission!?"

"Where is-?"

"If you all could leave now that would be fantastic!" Chiyo shouts, now holding a scalpel that gleams with a terrifying liquid that now drips from it, and the sand siblings look at her and gulp.


"Waitwaitwait. So Akira managed to reseal Shukaku in you?" Kankuro asks as Temari scoffs. They had left Chiyo and Baki quickly since Gaara had given the older man his full report while Chiyo examined him. Now they were in Temari's office, having hightailed it away from the terrifying duo. Gaara sits on a chair next to the hard oak desk Temari is seated at while Kankuro leans against the wall. Gaara closes his eyes knowing what is coming as Kankuro turns his head to his scoffing sister.

"She didn't reseal, she reinforced the seal."

"Same difference."

"No it's not-."

"Akira is currently in Suna hospital, having her injuries looked at. She isn't ok and it's my fault." Gaara finishes, not wanting to look up at his siblings as he presses fingers against his temples. His siblings stop their arguing and exchange glances at each other.

"Gaara…" Temari says softly reaching for his hand. He lets her hold it before taking a breath. He knows he has to tell them even if he really doesn't want to. They agreed long ago to be more open, to talk more. Besides, he thinks as he looks at Temari's deep teal eyes, she deserves to know.

He tells them everything. Of the ambush, of Akira getting stabbed, of getting dragged down into the darkness and trying and failing to get a foothold of sanity anywhere. He pauses a moment remembering the drowning sensation that had overcome him in moments, of sand constantly shifting around him, forcing him down. He takes a swallow of air before going, taking solace in the fact that he is, and will always, be in control. Gaara tells them of Akira helping him by stalling Shukaku, of her talking sense into him, he tells them of how he talked with the beast and saw himself in those yellow eyes. He doesn't tell them everything with the cave, how he cleaned Akira's wounds, or the quiet moments spent there just the other morning. It seems too private almost as he finishes with a soft sigh.

When he's done Kankuro and Temari are both quiet, as Gaara rubs his eyes and massages his temples. Dry now even as his chest is so heavy and suffocating. He's hit with a hysterical urge to laugh when he remembers how Akira used to cry for him. He wonders for a moment if she even remembers that.

"Oh…oh fuck." Temari mutters after a moment as Kankuro blinks back into reality.

"And she doesn't want you around now? Because it hurts to remember?" he asks as Gaara nods.

"Well that's bullshit!" Temari shouts and rises to a stand, her chair tumbles back as her teal eyes flash with anger. "She needs us now more than ever! We won't lie to her!"

"She doesn't know that. She just wants space to sort it out-." Kankuro tries to reason as he peels away from the wall and turns toward his sister, arms raised trying to be calming.

It seems to only piss off Temari more who scowls. "We should be there helping her anyway!"

"Temari-." Kankuro tries reaching toward her as she steps back despite having half the room between them. Gaara rubs his temples his head starting to throb from their shouting, well more his sister's but Kankuro is only adding gas to her fire.

"We need to show her that we're still here!"

"She doesn't want us." Gaara quietly, almost in defeat, surprising both Kankuro and Temari. "Besides, what's the point of fighting for this." He says before he can stop himself, as his throat tightens and burns and-.

He gasps in pain as he clutches a hand over his heart. The outburst unexpected but familiar as he shakes.

"Gaara!" Kankuro cries out as they rush to his side, surprise and concern engulfing them.

"She told me we would still be friends. She promised. But now she hardly remembers, and she doesn't want us near her. Temari I know she's your friend too, I know she made you promises too. But should we really stay in her life? Should…I?" he asks softly not wanting to see his sister's face. He knew that it needed to be asked if staying with Akira, if keeping her close to this cursed family would be worth hurting her, but that didn't help the knot in his chest knowing how damaging the words would be to his sister.

"Tem-." He stops as soft arms envelope him and he freezes as Temari hugs him tightly to her.

"You're not a monster. Akira doesn't, wouldn't, blame you. What happened wasn't your fault. Please don't let what she did be taken for granted." She says softly tilting her head against Gaara's as he blinks taken aback before wrapping his arms around her and returning the hug.

Kankuro watches as his sister and brother hold each other. Both grieving over the potential lose of their friend and grits his teeth. He pats them both on the back, leaving to get them all water. To talk more about this at length when he gets back.

Kankuro leaps out of a window closest to the office and away from his family. It is dark now in Suna, and he stays in the shadows, determined.


It isn't hard to figure out which room Akira is in, thankful that it has a window as he carefully scales the side of the building. He is almost irritated at how easy it is to get inside. He lets it go easily enough though since not many people want to break into a hospital. He stumbles inside however, catching his foot off the edge of the windowsill and spies the sight of her curled on her side asleep with the crisp white blanket and sheet. Kankuro knows in his gut he should be handling this with some grace, should be a lot nicer to her all things considered.

But then he remembers his siblings hurting over her while she is sleeping soundly, and ungracefully shoves and shakes her awake.

"Hey get up," he hisses, careful to keep his voice down as she opens her eyes and blinks once at him. She's on the other side of the room in an instant, arms raised ready to defend herself as Kankuro scoffs.

"If I was here to attack you, you wouldn't be standing." He says eyeing her dirty, bloody clothes. There's still a hole where the kunai had been in her vest, allowing him to see the dark undershirt underneath. Akira doesn't stop glaring at him though as she lowers her arms a little. She eyes him up and down before letting out a yelp of pain and hisses as she crumbles over.

"Oh shit-." Kankuro starts and he tries to rush to her but she holds up a hand. He stops in place still staring as she looks at the floor with glazed dark eyes.

"I… You broke my arm…" she says slowly coming back up to a rise as she looks at him again. Eyes hazy and confused. "We were on mission, I thought you had gotten caught. I pulled on your arm to get you to follow but it wasn't you. It was a puppet and then you broke my arm after because I yanked on your dumb puppet." She hisses glaring at him as he crosses his arms almost bored. He's seen her pissed off before and although the fresh anger is new he knows how they first met is still a sore spot for her.

"Is that all you remember?" he asks evenly, knowing full well that aside from a few lunches and dinners, that is the only significant moment they have had together. Akira gaps at him a moment before swatting at him. "Ow! Yeah-." She cuts him off with another swat. It doesn't hurt really, he's just more shocked than anything that she's batting at him.

"You're Temari's and Gaara's brother, we fought because of you breaking my arm. You're an asshole and you're rude-." She stops a moment her gaze going hazy again as she blinks before looking at him. He watches behind his arms he had raised in defense as her brow furrows in confusion.

"And that's it?" she says her voice rising like a question as Kankuro lowers his arms.

"Yeah. We weren't great friends. We just got along for Tem and Gaara." He says as Akira eyes him with some mistrust as he shrugs. "I know you're probably wondering why I came-."

"No, you came to tell me to let them come over. But it hurt just to remember you." She hisses as Kankuro sighs hard, obviously losing her memories hadn't made her dumb since she had connected the dots once she realized who he was related to. He watches as she presses herself further into the shadows turning from him as she does. He squints to see her form before throwing his arms in the air. Thoroughly sick of being in the darkened room now, he looks around a moment before finally finding the light switch.

"Ok, look let me just-."

"No-!"

Bright hard white light flares on as Akira yelps in pain from the sudden change and Kankuro grunts. He blinks hard and fast, letting his eyes adjust as Akira rubs her own. He glances around the room and guilt crashes over him in an instant.

Long paragraphs cover the once pure white walls, the ink having flowed downward in some places blurring the lines and words. Paper scraps litter the floor with words and stories covering them front and back. The bed has ink stains on it and there's a black hand-print stamped on the wall next to "WHICH WAS FIRST?" with statements he doesn't fully understand written beneath. Akira looks up at him with blurry eyes and another wave of guilt hits him then looking at her. Her eyes were red and swallow, her clothes tattered and torn, bloodied in some places. Her hands were stained with the dark black ink and she has scabbed over scratches on her face. His eyes finally land on her uncovered throat and he swallows hard at the sight of the long claw like bruises. He realizes grimly that he really should be nicer to her. He knows full well what going against Shukaku is like, and in his frozen state Akira has recovered enough to gesture to herself.

"…See why they should stay away now? I… I'm not exactly their Akira anymore. I mean," she lets out a hard bark of laughter. "Who the fuck does this?" she says gesturing to the walls to the paper and scrolls. "I wrote this because I'm fucking terrified if I don't remember soon it's all gone forever. And if I do what if I forget again and it just-, it's just gone again." She crashes down on the side of the bed, letting out a shaking breath as Kankuro swallows the lump in his throat.

"This is exactly why they want to come. To help." He says softly as she shakes her head.

"I know I told them stories, but I think I just told them lies." She says tilting her head, her eyes going glassy, dazed. "I remember Lord Hokage muttering about altering my memories. I don't know why. But I can't have them telling me stories that don't exist anymore. I can't have more lies, I want to find the truth and I know they want to help but being around them is-."

"Too painful." He finishes nodding as Akira blinks out of her daze, surprised. "Gaara told us about the mission. About what happened." She nods in understanding and he takes a breath.

Kankuro's strong suit isn't comforting people, he has no idea what he really should be doing in this situation. But he came since he and Akira hardly have spent any time together. He might not be someone she can lean on but he is good at confronting people (especially when those people aren't his sister). He can help her confront her memories, find answers, and help his siblings by helping her.

He just hopes he hasn't made too much of an ass of himself just to have her regret his help.

"Ok I'll make you a deal since your all fucked up in the head. I'll take you around the village since you obviously are just gonna get lost going through it. And before you start," he says raising a finger as Akira's eyes narrow and her mouth opens. "You already remembered everything about me, you know why I wanna help you. Tem and Gaara both want you to get better so I'm not here out of some evil whim to fuck with you. I only ask that once you get enough of your mind back together that you go them for the rest of it. I can only help with taking you around the village. They know you better than I do since we hated each other before." He finishes as Akira looks at him, eyes still narrowed and head tilted thinking as Kankuro shifts and sighs. "Also I really didn't mean to break your arm, I was just pissed when I realized you almost got killed trying to help and I meant to punch you. Not break you." He finishes as Akira's mouth quirks up at that and she snorts.

"I guess that's fair. Although you didn't really explain the plan," He shrugs again as she lets out a huff of amusement shaking her head. "Well I suppose I can't lose much going with you. I mean if your siblings find out you've lied to me-."

"Oh I'll be dead."

"Oh yeah big time." They smile at each a mutual understanding forming between them as Kankuro eyes her again.

"Just one more condition," he says as Akira rises to a stand.

"Hmm?" she asks looking at him as he wrinkles his nose in mock disgust.

"Take a fucking shower already."


After swatting Kankuro and taking a long hot shower that was well needed, Akira dresses in the standard Suna shinobi outfit. It being the only thing Kankuro knew she would wear and if she is honest, the most comfortable she felt being in. One of the first things she had remembered was being a shinobi, and as she tightens the headband around her head, she feels better about her identity with it. A symbol of something she stands for and protects. A Suna warrior. She almost smiles looking in the mirror, especially since the outfit also helps cover some of the wounds.

It's morning now in Suna as Kankuro yawns, waiting for her on the roof. She knows she really should check out properly but if she needs to come back, it should be better to have the room in case, as she leaps out to meet him.

He gives her a once over before grinning, "Bet that shower helped didn't it?"

"And what if it did?" she sneers trying in vain to keep her lips from tugging upward. She likes the teasing banter they have and watches amused as Kankuro leans back with his hands behind his head and grins.

"I know it did. My nose is feeling better already." He dodges out of the way from her hand and retaliates when she sticks her tongue out at him with his own.

"Well led the way then ass." She sasses leaning on one hip as Kankuro rolls his eyes and tilts his head to follow.

They keep to the roofs in Suna, avoiding the traffic below and keeping a low profile as they move. Kankuro skids to a halt by one of the building closest to the gate as he tilts his head to it.

"Figured we could start here, everything in Suna generally passes through these gates, helps keep us secure and bottlenecks any intruders." He says as Akira nods and takes a breath. "I also think we should stay up here. Just in case." She meets his gaze with her own.

"…Thank you. You didn't have to." She says as he scoffs.

"Hey, even if we don't get along, you're important to Gaara and Temari, so you're important to me. Besides I'm sure you would do the same for me." He says as Akira's eyes lower.

"I would hope so." She says and he quickly looks away from her as he swallows a lump in his throat.

Akira takes a breath and lets herself study the gate, the walls of Suna. The strong walls with different outcrops carved into them that housed lookouts and security in case anyone was brave enough to try and invade the village. She takes a moment to appreciate the dark golden color that makes up the walls as she glances down below. People wander the busy streets in longer robes and in almost plain dull colors. Quiet people milling about and blending in as well as trying to stay out of the harsh sun. She looks at the guards and sees a child run to meet someone coming back from mission-.

She sucks in a breath as a small burst of white engulfs her vision and she blinks back tears.

'Her chakra control is normally good but learning how to jump and shift on the sand is difficult. Her mother trains her as they move, showing her the different ways to manipulate the sand for balance. "Like water walking." She says as Akira once again sinks down into it, the sand getting between her toes. The gates are in the distance now and she eyes them nervously. It would be two years before she could register as a full Suna shinobi. If she passed the examination to have a license to work.'

Akira tumbles back from the memory blinking hard as it cements itself in her mind. She gulps in air desperately before letting it go slowly as her head throbs a little.

"Here." She looks at Kankuro's outstretched hand holding a canteen as she takes it. Once the water touches her lips though she realizes just how insanely thirsty she is. "Hey take it easy. I only have so many of those." He says as she slows her gulping and gives it back to him.

"I think I'm good here. I remember coming in, and learning to walk on the sand while traveling..." she trails off as Kankuro finishes off the canteen despite his warning to Akira.

"Well, let's get going to where new shinobi and citizens come in." he says as Akira stares at the gates once more before turning back and following Kankuro.


'She's panting as she races across the tops of the sand dunes. Determined not to sink in as she runs. She throws herself to her left side just as giant gusts of wind slice into the ground where she once was. Akira is up and moving within seconds, her sweat dying on her skin as she leaps again to the side. She is thankful she hasn't gotten hit yet as she signs quickly and shoots a fire ball at the next gust, allowing the attack-now-inferno to be sent back the way it came. She smiles when the buzzer rings and the shinobi attacking her is only slightly charred as they nod at her. She smiles again when she's given the headband and status of chunin.'

Akira blinks back into reality as Kankuro waits in the shade and listens as she lets out a small groan and rubs her head. The pieces of living here, are falling into place and the little shops and buildings they pass she remembers. She sees the shop that sharpens her kunai and the kind man there, the store she had bought a sharpener at with Gaara. She had been quick to stop that train of thought since she does not have the time for it now. So many different places now cement themselves in her mind, and the memories still hurt but not as badly. It hasn't been long since Kankuro took her from the hospital, but the hot Suna sun, little rest, and no food is making them both… unpleasant.

"Come on, I need some grub." Kankuro says as Akira nods rubbing her temples and follows. She isn't paying attention as she bumps into his back, her nose hitting his shoulder as she yelps from surprise and pain.

"Kankuro…" a voice growls as Kankuro shivers from fear at the tone, and Akira looks over to see Temari and Gaara standing together. She winces a little once her eyes land on the blonde and she also takes a step back once she realizes that while Gaara might look only slightly annoyed, Temari is practically livid.

"H-hey guys…" he says nervously as Gaara's gourd pops open and Temari lowers her cross arms and widens her stance. "Oh fuck-." He starts but is jerked away hard when Akira grabs his arm spinning them both around to run.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck." Kankuro is chanting under his breath as the two of them run, leaping over buildings and rooftops away his siblings.

Akira shares the sentiment by muttering, "Shitohmykami." Under her own breath, panic clear in her words.

Gaara's sand is pouring out behind them as Kankuro screeches and slams into Akira, throwing them both off the rooftop and down into the alley. He manages to hook chakra strings to the edge of the rooftop to allow them to swing safely until Temari rounds the corner on her fan. Akira, with her arms around the boy in panic for the sudden drop, pulses her chakra into him, cutting off the connection and allowing them to plummet faster down. Just barely missing Temari's lunge at them from her fan. Akira manages to hook an arm under his legs and land on her feet. Kankuro stares up at her from her arms a moment as she looks at him with wide eyes, of panic. It's almost humorous with him bridal style in her arms.

Until a tsunami of sand looms in front of them and Akira unceremoniously drops Kankuro before hauling him up and running again. Only to be cornered by Temari as they both stop and look between the siblings in the darken Suna alley. Kankuro and Akira exchange a look before pointing at each other.

"It's not my fault!" they shout in unison before glaring at each other and shouting nonsense until sand wraps around both their mouths.

"Every time." Gaara mutters as the two continue to point and screech muffle obscurities at each other.

"Wait Gaara." Temari says walking up to the two of them, both too involved with fighting each other to notice her approach until she knocks their heads together. Gaara flinches, taken aback by the sudden violence but understands as Akira's and Kankuro's faces both starts cracking.

Kankuro's puppets loom back at his siblings before falling back, still and lifeless as Gaara and Temari exchange a look and sigh.

"Come on they can't be far." Temari says as Gaara takes one last look at the puppets before following his sister.

Kankuro leans out carefully from behind a corner of a building, keeping his chakra low as Akira shakes next to him. A memory had hit her once they landed and he is just glad he could swap them out while he had the chance. He touches her shoulder gently before scanning around for his siblings.

"Come on we gotta go-."

"I need to go to the training grounds." She gasps out, as Kankuro gives her an exasperated look.

"We'll be out in the open!"

"I know, but there's a food shop on the way that has ramen." She offers rising to a stand as he tilts his head.

"You're remember that?" he asks as she nods somberly.

"After I made Chunin Temari was assigned to train me, something about me showing promise with my kunai and chakra control. She took me to the ramen shop that day, as a celebration of making a decent rank despite not being a full citizen. Then the next day during training she managed to send me rocketing into the sky and nearly killed me." She says as Kankuro lets out a bark of laughter.

"Hey at least she didn't punch you! She's been swinging that fan of her since we were kids, so-."

"Oh no taijutsu was the next session and I thought I had her until she landed a clean one and I woke up like an hour later with a bloody nose." She laughs a little as Kankuro doubles over where he is sitting.

"Yeah that definitely sounds like a usual hit from Temari." He admits before standing. "We can go get ramen, but we should swing by home too, get some more water before we head out. And I don't think they'll expect me to drag you there." Akira nods her eyes going hazy again before following. They keep to the shadows as Akira lets the memories drift in. A steady flow now with only a little throbbing, a lot better than before.

'"Come on you can hit harder than that can't you?" Temari sneers as she blocks another swing from Akira, shoving her aside. Akira uses the momentum to land on her hands and spins as she twists, stretching out a kick at the blonde. She manages to graze Temari's shoulder before pushing off of the sand and is up on her feet again. "Can't you block better than that?" she sneers back as Temari snorts before running at her again.'

'"Hey have you thought about using your lightening and kunai together?" "Like making a lightening rod?" "Yeah attack from far away. Maybe you'll finally stop getting hurt so often." "Oh haha."'

"Hey I heard Shikamaru is going to be ambassador for Konoha." "Shut up Akira." "I haven't even started yet-." "I said shut up."'

'Her stomach hurts from laughing so hard and Temari is doubled over next to her. "So the idiot goes up to me and says 'If that fan gets too heavy let me know. A real man shouldn't let a lady struggle.'" Akira groans from second hard embarrassment for the poor boy as Temari lifts her fan with one arm and lets it rest against her shoulder. "His face got so pale when I did this I thought he was going to die." Akira snorts as she laughs harder than she really should as Temari cackles with her.'

'"You know I have a couple of girl friends around the village. But you're probably the worst of them." Temari says as Akira hands her a cup of tea. She snorts in response before sneering, "You better mean best ass." Temari grins and takes the cup. "No I mean, you're the worst like me." She grins cheekily at Akira who grins back. "We're both pretty terrible when we want to be." "Hell yeah we are." Temari says as they clink their glasses together. "You're one of my best friends you know." Akira says softly as Temari scoffs. "I know…. And same goes for you." Akira smiles at her, before the two grins at each and laugh a moment at how cheesy they are.'


"Ok so here's were we eat breakfast, down there is some place you do some weird thing, and I'm gonna get water." Kankuro says in an annoying could-care-less voice as Akira gives him a look. She is fully aware what a dining table next to a full kitchen is used for, and has an inkling of having maybe sat at the table before.

"I don't remember much but that doesn't mean I'm dumb." She gives him a flat look as he shrugs and leisurely strides toward the sink.

"No, but it does mean I get to treat you like it," he says evenly as he fills up his canteen as Akira crosses her arms and shifts her weight to one leg.

"No it doesn't."

"Well it hasn't stopped me yet!" he says in a snarky tone as he turns with a lopsided grin holding up his canteen if apparent victory. Akira rolls her eyes and fights the urge to hit him. He had paid for the ramen, and she feels obligated to give him this one insult.

"Well I'll be off trying to figure out what else will crop up." She says as she turns for the hallway, and away from the pleased look on his face at her lack of retort.

"Hey, did you… want me to take you home?" he asks hesitantly, leaning against the sink now, as Akira stops by the entrance of the hall and looks at him. She looks away a moment before taking a breath.

"I know I'll have to go back soon, I am remembering a lot easier now, but…there's a bit more I need to figure out. Let me get through whateverthefuck this is and-." She says waving down the hall before Kankuro interrupts.

"Hey hey one step at a time I hear ya!" he gives her a small smile when their eyes met again Akira gives him a small one in return.

Kankuro might be rude, annoying, and loud. But he is a good brother to Gaara and Temari and a good friend. And she's glad she can call him that now.

Akira goes down the hall slowly, taking in the vague sense of familiarity, and trying to ignore the confusion that comes with it. It's almost a sense of deja vu but not quite. Something she's sure she had down once but not enough to keep it fresh. A new kind of old. She wrinkles her nose in displeasure of the confusion before moving on and she almost passes it. The light coming from the door is bright enough to catch her attention and is almost begging to be let out. Akira presses a hand against the cool wooden door before pushing it open.

Light is bright in the lovely open space, the floor clean and smooth. A bar is on one wall on the far side of the room and she steps forward closing the door behind her. There is a place for music in the corner and she stares around the room. She can almost hear it, the gentle call of music and as she steps further into the room she closes her eyes. A soft pulse behind her temple is all she feels and she smiles remembering how she moved in here, relaxed in here. The music in her mind grows a little louder and she sways a little. The beat is easy enough to follow, softly as she raises her arms up, she follows the beat, twirling and as it picks up pace, drives her to go faster she feels herself relax more, feels muscles in her shoulders relax and she bends and folds-.

Memories of being small flash across her mind and she gasps but keeps moving, taking deep breaths as she continues the dance, continues the movements.


"Come on little sister! You can't get me!" Akira huffed before turning around. She had only managed to feel a few strands of lavender hair brush against her hand as Shuichi ducked under her reaching arms. He skipped away a safe distance grinning at her as she frowned at him.

Sunlight streamed into the house through the glass door behind Shuichi who grinned as he stopped in front of it. Akira watched as her brother lowered his stance, favoring his left side and she grinned in return. She could do this. She could get him. She lunged forward, hands outstretched as he suddenly dashed right, surprising her. He tapped her shoulder as he scampered past, teasing her as he cackled. Akira frowned and tried to straighten, thinking she would just bounce off the glass door-.

She hadn't.

She tumbled through the door, shrieking in surprise and shock as she fell. She landed hard in a heap of limbs and shattered glass, her shoulder throbbed in pain. A shocked mix of a sob and whimper escaped her lips as she tried to sit up and instead was met with a sharp thorough pain. She looked up at her brother who stood shocked in the doorway a moment until their eyes met.

"Don't look!" Akira blinked from where she sat her arm throbbing as Shiuchi climbed out of the house. He ran to her and Akira watched as he carefully picked his way to her. Hastily stepping around the broken glass Shuichi looked at the blood coming from his sisters arm and felt tears prickle in his eyes.

"I didn't mean it! I'm so sorry Aki!" Shuichi sniffed as he hauled her up as gently as he could. The glass looked so large in her little arm as he managed to get them back inside.

The glass in Akira's little arm was painful and Shuichi's crying wasn't making her feel any better about it. She was a little glad to not be the only one crying though as her brother pulled her into the house. She sniffed as she rubbed the tears away trying to articulate what happened as their father knelt down and looked at his six year old daughter and eleven year old son. He moved Akira's arm around gently, examining the wound and was careful not to jostle it too much. Akira almost wanted to sob when her father finally looked at her with a kind and sad smile. Without another word Shuichi and her were scooped up and placed side by side on the kitchen counter by the sink. Akira couldn't watch as her father carefully plucked out the glass shards and dropped them into the sink, she wanted to cry with every red drop that sprang from the wound. Shuichi squeezed her hand and let her crush his in return. When their father was done, he pressed a kiss to both their heads, and one to the fresh bandage on her arm. Akira sniffed and stared at the clean white bandage as her father gently moved them both back to the floor. Akira looked up at him then a soft smile on her face as she watched her father with dark hair and eyes like hers pat her head. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled.

"Come on little Aki, it's all ok now." His voice was soft and deep, and Akira rubbed her eyes dry before she smiled up at him in return.

Akira blinked against the bright sunlight that landed her face, she was seven now, and her mother was marching on ahead of her. Papa was gone on a separate mission and Shuichi was with his Genin team. Something about an exam? She wasn't sure entirely but knew he would be gone for a long time. She strained to hear what her mother was saying from how far ahead she was. Akira was ready for what now? She ran to catch up her little legs trying hard to push past the tall grass that almost came up to her neck. She bumped into her mother's legs and peaked out from behind her. Akira blinked at the sight of a camp, she hadn't know there was a lake outside of Konoha, let alone a cove that kept a camp hidden. She spied different crests on many of the differently brightly colored flags were strewn around the entrance and jumped when her mother started walking ahead again. She hurried to catch up but not before spying other children peaking out from the tall grass by the entrance. She could hear them as they whispered 'Newcomer' and she frowned at that. Her mother took her to a tent set up just inside the cove. The canvas of the tent was brightly colored and painted in fun pinks and red, the sun had yet to set but her mother insisted it was bedtime. She finally coaxed her to bed with promises of training to be like Shuichi in the morning. Akira grinned at that and agreed to go to bed early, wanting to be like her brother and father, as she gently and sleepily traced a bright blue swirl on the inside of the tent.

Akira was puffing and huffing as she raced up the seemingly endless hill. The other children she was running with had either already gotten past this obstacle or were only just ahead of her. She had never ran harder in her life but still couldn't keep up with the other children. Akira wheezed, she wanted to catch up, and she knew if she just pressed a little harder-. She heard something whizzed past her ear and she almost froze before pain enveloped her shoulder. Something had hit her, something had pierced-. Akira screamed as she felt something graze her cheek and she's off again before she's even fully realized it. Her legs hit the ground harder and she's caught up with the other children quicker than she ever thought possible. Tears are streaming down her face and her eyes are wide with fear as she makes it past another child. He looked at her with wide eyes that were soon filled with horror. It didn't take every long before tears started spilling down his cheeks as another round of whizzing started up. Akira gulped down air before pushing herself forward, not stopping until she had joined the other children on the other side of the hill. One of the adults from the camp had only sneered and moved past her muttering "So slow" with a click of their tongue. Akira curled in on herself after that ordeal her legs had given out and she sat on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. When she finally made it back to the tent, her mother worked to clean and bandage her wounds.

"You'll do better next time." her mother said as Akira cried.

"What did I do wrong this time?" she asked but her mother didn't answer.

That night she didn't trace her swirl in the corner of the tent and she dreamed of red and blood. Her blood. Her shoulder throbbed from movement so badly she didn't want to move, and she was ordered to run again.

"She can't sense chakra well, we need to do this!" they yelled at her mother who simply watched as they dragged Akira closer to the darkened room. Akira was tired from having fought them the entire way but was still screaming despite her throat feeling raw and angry. She had been dressed in a bathing suit and they were moving her to a dark tank filled with salty water.

"NONONONONO" she screamed. Her mother watched as they pushed her into the tank, her little body twisting and writhing as much as she could. No light, only the sound of her trying to get out. Only the sound of her own pounding heart in her ears. When they said she was done they tried and had her work with sensing again. She could only sense her own, like someone had placed her inside a cotton ball and told her to try and feel anything but the cotton. The tank had done nothing, had actually worsened her to the point where she needed to touch someone before reading their chakra. "Nothing like her brother," they muttered.

They had done this to all of them, all of the children in the camp. If one of them couldn't do enough sit ups, couldn't run fast enough, they were motivated with cuts, and bruises. Akira remembered her father teaching her how to throw her little rubber kunai. The gentle praise and nurture he gave her, so unlike this tribe. She can see the bandages on the other children, the darkened gaze of their eyes with each morning training. She thought to herself that they weren't ok, and not just because they couldn't run fast enough.

The worst night had occurred finally when one instructor in particular liked to cut deeper than he should have been doing. She came back half-dazed from blood loss and her mother panicked. The healer had come right away, cleaning Akira's wounds and wrapping her up. Akira had stared at her face, graceful and beautiful even with all the wrinkles. The healer had smiled at her, before sitting her up and giving her a piece of candy. The bandages made moving impossible but Akira managed to get the candy into her mouth. She chewed on it slowly and gave the healer a smile in return. She almost felt safe until her mother entered in a flurry of purple hair and rage. But not at the man.

"You should have been better!" she hissed at Akira who all at the age of seven was more than done. All she wanted was to go back home, and not even the melting sweet candy she had been given could change that. Akira pouted listening to her mother shout before she muttered.

"Like you care anyway." Akira froze as her mother turned toward her, a scoff on her lips.

"You're brother went through this when he was your age. He's fine. I went through it! It hurts but it'll make you stronger!"

"If you know it hurts you're supposed to make it not hurt! You're my mama!" she cried and something in her broke then as her mother's hand connected with her cheek. She had stared at her mother, eyes widened with betrayal and hurt, but she only took a seething breath.

"I am your mother. That's right and you will not raise your voice-."

"You're just like them," Akira sobbed in a broken whisper and bandages be darned she was done. She twisted and felt something give in the linen and before her mother could become unfrozen from her words. Akira ran desperately into the woods, fearing the consequences, but wanting nothing more to do with this tribe.

She ran, harder and faster than ever before, barefoot through the forest. She ran from the pain, torture and the terrible people in the small tribe. She didn't want to be them, didn't want to be a part of this.

She just wanted her Papa and- Akira screamed when strong arms wrapped around her waist and hauled her up.

"Aki, Akira sweetheart shush-." She looked and almost couldn't believe it was her father holding her. She let out hard sob before clinging to him. "Honey, Papa can't breath." He choked and she unhappily loosened her hold a little as she sobbed into his shoulder.

She was safe, she could go home. She-.

"Akira-!" She stiffened in her father's hold and whimpered as she heard her mother's approach. Her mother stopped when she saw her husband with their daughter. Her father gave his wife a look that left her wilting from what Akira could see pressed securely against her father's neck. She felt his large hand brush fingers through her hair before patting Akira's head, everything going fuzzy as she started to fall asleep.

"I thought we agreed-" Was all she heard before everything went black.

She woke up to her head resting between her father's shoulder blades. She blinked hazily and smiled as her mother came into view. Calmer and smiling as she brushed away her hair. Akira blinked at her and frowned when she realized her mother was crying. "I'm sorry love." She muttered kissing her forehead as Akira hummed. "I love you Mama." She mumbled and fell back asleep.

She woke up to screaming this time. To something burning in the distance and she sat up off the ground confused, where was her-.

She heard a ping of metal hitting metal, saw a flash but couldn't do anything before the kunai had buried itself in her thigh. She's screamed again, and the memories become too much, blurring over each other. Her father pulling the kunai out, her mother's emotionless eyes as she stood over her husband. Of bright white lights, and then a dim dark room. Of a older man in white and red robes frowning as she laid there still and quiet as tears poured from her eyes before turning away from her. "Run through her memories again... I know she's a child but we need information. Run through and then if we can't find anything seal them." He looked at her again his old face softening. "Sorry little one, but we have to go back there once more time." And her life from six until the camp is replayed again.

And again.

And again.


Akira crumbles mid-movement from her dancing and lays awkward and heavy on the floor as the memories finally shift and stay. Some bits are still blurry. She doesn't remember much between what had happened after the camp and before moving to Suna. A little more to fill in, but she runs a hand over her face as she flops on her back breathing hard and a little surprised when her hand comes away from her face wet. She heaves in a breath as her limbs shake, she isn't sure how long she's been moving as she tries to even out her erratic breathing. She wipes at her face a little more, suddenly drained as she lets out a sigh and jumps a little bit at a sudden outstretched hand.

Gaara stands over her, a hand outstretched toward her and Akira blinks at him surprised. His hair is almost falling into his eyes where he bends over slightly and his cyan eyes are glazed with worry. She can see from the set in his brow that is isn't angry, or surprised, simply worried and she isn't quite sure how to feel about that. He doesn't say anything as she glances at him and the hand before taking it. He helps her up, and gives her a once over before pulling out his own canteen. Akira nods to him as she takes it and drinks. Her legs still feel wobbly but at least her throat isn't as sore anymore.

Before they can say anything to each other, before they can take stock of this sudden reuniting, the door to the room is thrown open.

"Akira! They found us and- OHMYFUCKINGGOD!" Kankuro screams from the doorway before looking down the hall and darting away as a screaming Temari races past, small tornadoes surrounding her as she runs. Akira and Gaara watch a moment surprised at the humorous exchange.

"I half regret telling her she should go for smaller tornadoes and whirlwinds in smaller spaces." Akira sighs as Gaara glances at her surprised and a little shocked at the implications of her words. She looks at him a moment and hands him back his canteen. She gives him a small smile before stepping away.

"Tell Kankuro thanks again for me, and go easy on him please? He really did mean well." Gaara opens his mouth to say something, to stop her.

But in a small swirl of sand she's gone, and he can't help but let out a puff of air, half disappointed he couldn't talk to her more. He had seen a good portion of her dance, had seen the exhaustion, the grief, fear, and the story she told. He hadn't met to stay really, but he hadn't realized how long he had been watching until she had crashed into the floor.

He had even wanted to catch her but is still nervous to use his sand. Instead choosing to offer a hand, and hoping she wouldn't been too upset at the intrusion.

Instead she had merely taken it. Had looked at him with surprise that he was there, not confusion for once, and left. Gaara hears a crash down the hall and a yelp of pain as he lets out a sigh and quickly rushes from the studio. Even if they hadn't talked he couldn't help but feel a bit lighter at the knowledge of Akira getting better. Of remembering and, if he's honest, of not being scared of him.


Akira stares up at her house with weary eyes and a swirl of emotions in her chest. Happiness and comfort at seeing home again, anger and rage at the memories she's unlocked. Confusion at some of the events that's happened and how her family got to the point it was at. And finally, she felt sadness as she knows she can't go back to ignorance of what happened.

She scans the house, the flat rooftop, the small overhang above the front steps, and blinks back tears. She can see her and her mother moving in boxes, joking about how many they can each carry at once only to be beaten by her brother who managed to balance one on his head. She can see them picking out cheap furniture and the three of them struggling to fit it in while Izumi watched amused before helping the three Sato's who insisted they didn't need it. Can see them filling the space with knickknacks and pictures from their life in Konoha, can see Izumi helping her paint her walls and make her bookshelves while her mother and Shuichi fussed with the plants.

Akira takes a breath and a step forward before stopping as she recalls all the other memories that now flood the house. She blinks and she can practically hear Temari's voice coming in muffled as she banged on her front door, having come over for early morning training sessions until her mother invited her inside for breakfast. It had surprised the hell out of Temari at first, and then became a normal thing (on the bargain she would knock politely and not bang anymore). Akira can feel the tears pooling in her eyes at the thought of how the blonde would also come over for dinner until her administrative work took up too much of her time. Of the two of them growing closer with each visit, and how long it has been since the blonde had visited.

Her throat clenches as she tries to swallow from the memory of herself standing in the doorway, her body partially covered by the door as she looked at Gaara outside, whose brow was furrowed and he looked confused and almost put-off by her smile. The first time they met.

Her eyes scan the house again, Temari laughing at her dining room table over a simple breakfast before dragging Akira out to train. Gaara and her on the rooftop stargazing and sharing a pot of tea with a blanket draped over the both of them on a particularly chilly night. So many different memories flood the house in front of her and for a moment she can't help but be amazed that a simple building could dredge up so many emotions.

She tries to move, to enter when she hears voices coming from down the street.

Her eyes land on her mother and Shuichi, as they walk up the street. The purple haired pair smiling as they wave her down before Shuichi starts to jog up to her. She feels some surprise to see him before she freezes.

Akira feels something shift in her chest and is only vaguely aware that the sand siblings are rounding the corner at the other end of the street. She feels the swirl of uncertainty, of so many mixed emotions, in her chest slide away as one takes over at the sight of her family.

Shuichi reaches her then arms outstretched for a hug, her mother not too far behind smiling, and the sand siblings round the corner just in time to watch.

Akira, with no hesitation, rears a fist back and punches her brother fully in the face before rounding on her mother, a snarl on her lips as she seethes and rages at the two of them.

-End- Song Choice: Remember Everything by Five Finger Death Punch wasn't entirely my first pick for this chapter. But the pain Akira is feeling at the thought of her family betraying her and of her hurting them in turn. Also the anger at her memories getting fucked with helped write this chapter. I will say for the beginning I planned The Parting Glass performed by Hozier for Gaara and Akira's time in the cave. Also for anyone curious Tell Me A Story by Phillip Phillips was originally the main choice but I think I might have a better place for it elsewhere.

Also sorry for the late post, I'm still working on future chapters, doing summer classes before apply to graduate school is a hassle and doing it during a pandemic isn't helping.

Stay safe and stay healthy and I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time!