Soooo…it's been a long, long time since I have written! I had to re-read my earlier chapters to remember what was actually going on! :) The fall was a dumpster fire in my world, and with Omicron, the dumpster fire continues but with different fuel! I do hope that there is some light at the end of the tunnel. Hope everyone is staying well!
A Re-opening – Part II
"The door of the human heart can only be opened from the inside."
— William Holman Hunt
That same morning, back at the villa, Maria also woke with the sun. After changing into a simple dirndl and running her fingers through her hair to make it presentable, she tiptoed out of the house. Gathering up one of the bicycles from the boat shed, she rode it into town to attend 7 AM mass at the Cathedral. As she approached the edge of Salzburg, she watched the sun rise over the massif, the mist at the mountain valley bottom burning away slowly in the beams of sunshine. It was truly a beautiful morning. The mist danced about the valley, changing the light and the scene as if she were looking down the narrow tube of a kaleidoscope. As she lifted her eyes skyward, she could make out the onion-shaped tower of Nonnberg.
There once was a time, not so long ago, when she thought the Abbey was her one-and-only home: her present and future. But now that she had spent eleven glorious days at the villa and had bonded so quickly and effortlessly with the children, she wondered if there could be a future for her in the outside world? Had the Reverend Mother intended for this to happen? She did say it was God's will... Maria's early success with the Von Trapp children had boosted her confidence and Maria began to believe that she could do well for herself in another occupation if she so chose. Maria found that more and more often, when she was not catching herself thinking about the Captain and his late wife, she was pondering a profession in teaching, or perhaps working as a seamstress in one of the local dress shops that she often passed by in town.
As she rode along in silence, Maria reflected on how quickly her perspective on her vocation had changed...almost as quickly as she had managed to map out the chemistry of the Von Trapp family. Indeed, the aristocracy was not as complicated as she had been led to believe. Children were most definitely children, no matter their social status. Even though Maria was from a drastically different social background, it was easy to learn things that the children enjoyed and recognize the things they did not. Maria reveled in the independence and leadership she could wield in her new, albeit temporary, role. She planned the children's activities and helped them to stay on task. She could go outside when she wanted to go outside. She could sing when she wanted to sing. No one scolded her when she was late for dinner.
While the Captain was away, Maria made a point of doing all the things the children liked – perhaps, this was an early key to her success. On her first night at the villa, she had already decided that there would be no more uniforms, no more whistles…she would shower the children love and a steady hand instead of the rules and orders they had become accustomed to. Maria's approach to "governessing" seemed to allow the children to blossom in her care.
Maria had learned so much about those seven little dears in so little time. With some trepidation, however, she realized that the more she learned about the children and their father, the more emotionally invested in them she became. Why was this happening and how did it happen so fast? Maria was usually so guarded with her emotions, yet, loving these children just came so naturally to her.
Maria had met so many individuals over the years after her parents has passed. Yet, never before had she become so emotionally attached to a group of people, particularly in such little time. Indeed, the Sisters had taken her in and loved her, and for that she would be eternally grateful; however, the feelings she had towards them could not compare to the moments she had shared with the Von Trapp children. Being able to share their joys, loves, and their fears brought her and the children together effortlessly. They seemed to understand each other in ways Maria could not explain, almost as though they had a connection before they had met. How could she move on without the Von Trapp children at the end of the summer? The thought of leaving them made her heart sink. It was mind-boggling to understand exactly how had she managed to bond with seven unruly children so quickly? Especially when their first day together did not get off on the best footing?
Their recent trip to the Untersberg set the stage for several subsequent days of fun. Despite the fact that none of the children had the confidence to sing, Maria had little difficulty in encouraging them to work on a song for the Baroness' pending arrival…although no one seemed to have any idea when that would be. Maria only hoped that they would have enough time to prepare a polished performance before the Captain and his guests returned. Maria had asked Frau Schmidt several times this week when the Captain would be expected, but it seemed that no one had heard from him at all. He was obviously very tied up with the affairs of this Baroness woman.
Maria and the children worked diligently on their singing, practicing their scales, honing their harmonies, and working on breath support. They practiced while riding on their bicycles, boating on the lake, roaming about in in town, even while prancing about in the Mirabel Gardens. The job became a game, and the children soon appreciated Maria's unconditional love, support, and honesty. Within mere days, all seven demonstrated that they had voices worthy of entry in the Festspiele. They were all such talented children; all they had needed was some direction and encouragement. And attention, Maria thought. Attention seemed to be what those children had missed the most in the years since their mother had died. Maria was thankful she was able to give it to them in such a positive way.
As Maria sat in her pew during Monsignor Hecht's sermon, her thoughts travelled far from the church and back to life at the villa. The past week-and-a-half went by so slowly and so quickly all at the same time! Maria had learned so much about all the children, although there was still much to piece together. Louisa, for example. She was the hardest nut to crack: somewhat moody and guarded. Maria would catch glimpses of the girl beneath the façade, but could not figure out how to coax her out to stay.
The other children were certainly less complicated: Liesl was blossoming into a young woman and surely should not be treated the same way as Martha and Gretl. Friedrich was at the age where he needed the influence of a steady male figure, and meanwhile, Kurt just wanted his father's attention. If she tried hard enough, Maria could imagine Kurt and the Captain sprawled out on the floor working on ship models or staging battles with lead soldiers.
Brigitta, that girl noticed everything; Maria was most impressed with her capacity to observe and learn. The two littlest Von Trapps were the easiest to win over and the easiest to love. Gretl was so young and so happy, she was easily molded, and she quickly took to Maria – almost as though she was the mother she never had. Then, there was poor little Marta, who had just celebrated her 7th birthday for the first time without a word from her beloved Papi. Well, it was obvious she adored her father and just wanted to be loved in return.
Tapping her foot against the kneeler, Maria reflected impatiently on the Captain's parenting skills...or lack thereof! Grief or no grief, how could someone forget their own daughter's birthday? During her time with the children, Maria had learned so much about the late Baroness and the man the Captain was before her passing. Indeed, he had changed so dramatically! However, she still struggled with his perpetual avoidance of the children. The first night in the villa, Frau Schmidt had told her that the Captain avoided anything that reminded him of his late wife. Maria understood that prior to the late Baroness' passing, he was a completely different man from the one she encountered for the first time not so long ago. The stories the children told her about him only added to his mystery and intrigue. Captain Von Trapp was like a good novel you just could not put down. Each page presented something more interesting than the last. In so many ways, he was like Louisa – hard to read, definitely holding something back, and an extraordinarily complex and emotional man.
Maria had known enough grief in her life to understand what the Captain had gone through when his wife was snatched away so prematurely. Initially, when she met him, she found him insufferable and stubborn, cold, and unfeeling. His avoidance of Marta on her special day only served to reinforce Maria's early opinion of him. However, the more she learned about him from the older children, the more she began to realize he must still grieving, almost as though the late Baroness had just passed away! For a sea captain, he had certainly not navigated the stages of grief at all well! It was as though his emotional wounds were still as raw as the day she passed; his ship had truly run aground. The past few days, however, Maria found herself wavering back and forth between being completely entranced by stories of the Captain before his wife died and being infernally angry at him for not being a father to these little dears. How dare he neglect them in this way!
Looking up to the chapel ceiling, she crossed herself and asked for forgiveness for having such uncharitable thoughts in the House of the Lord. God had watched over the Captain, that she was sure of, but it seemed that no one in the Earthly realm had shown him love and support he needed after the Baroness died. Did the people in his social circle expect him to put on his Captain's mask and just move on? Did they not show him empathy or understanding? Although it hurt her to think of it, Maria could imagine this happening in his world. Surely a man with a track record like his in the Great War, a man who had seen and caused considerable pain and suffering, would be perceived as being someone who had the coping skills necessary to be a widow and single father to seven children? Did people told him to get over it? That it would be easy?
Perhaps...But still, grief and little emotional support was no excuse to avoid his own flesh and blood the way he had! If Maria had family to lean on, brothers or sisters, anyone other than her unfeeling uncle, she would have felt she was lucky. Here, the Captain had seven wonderful children, three of which strongly resembled their mother, and yet he avoided them at all costs!
Maria tried so hard to keep a positive perspective on the Captain's actions. He must have his reasons, even if she didn't agree with them. After Maria's parents had passed, Maria recalled having a support network around her as she grieved, despite her otherwise pitiful circumstances. She had a good friend in school, Charlotte Muller, and she and her family were always there for her. Her teachers were kind and understanding, Monsignor Wagner from the cathedral was also a great support. Her uncle, however, was of little help to her. She always felt like a burden in his presence. Maria imagined that individuals in the Captain's orbit were probably a lot like her uncle – unkind, unfeeling - and it made her heart sink. Maria thought back to the little cemetery beside the chapel in Innsbruck where her parents rested. She missed them so! She really needed to go back and see them before she became a nun, while it was still possible for her to visit them.
Father Hecht's sermon ended, and the organ began to play. Maria shook herself back to the present and crossed herself for not paying attention. She looked up at the stained-glass windows – normally she would set her sights on Mary, her namesake, but today it was the cross and crown that held her attention. She said a little prayer for the Captain, asking God to help him heal and to move on. Like the cross and crown, the Captain had been faithful until death: surely, he would soon triumph? Maria was sure that the late Baroness must be so restless waiting for closure in her Earthly family.
As she stood and shuffled into the line of parishioners leaving the cathedral, Maria remembered the night she had visited the Captain's library and found the portrait of him and his wife on their wedding day. She was reminded of her role this summer: to prepare the children for a new mother and to help the Captain reunite with his children. To bring him, the children, and his late wife peace. She hoped she could succeed in her mission and help him move on with a new life. Surely, the Von Trapps all deserved that much! Maria didn't dare focus on her own feelings in that moment – she would have to worry about those later on. Undoubtedly, prayer was the best way for her to find peace, even though the foundations of her current reality seemed a bit shaky at this time.
As she wove her way through the throngs of people who had gathered outside on the steps of the cathedral, her eyes lifted towards the horizon over Aigen and her thoughts drifted back to the Captain once more...when was he going to return home? She was surprised that they had not heard from him. Liesl had mentioned that normally he always called home on their birthdays, and this was the first time he had missed speaking to the birthday boy or girl on their special day. Poor little Marta. Maria's heart still broke for the young girl, trying to be so brave while she sniffled, choking back tears. The older children had managed to convince Marta that the circumstances in Vienna must be very strange because this had never happened before. Marta immediately blamed the Baroness, and the children gathered around her, echoing her concern about this woman's influence. Maria tried to discourage the children from having such uncharitable thoughts about the Baroness. They were sabotaging their relationship with their future stepmother before they even had the chance to meet her. However, hearing their concerned words, Maria had asked Frau Schmidt to call the desk at his usual hotel to make sure he was still alive at least. Maria wasn't sure if she should have felt relief when the front desk confirmed he had been seen coming and going, because all at once she was overcome with a stirring desire to wring the man's bloody neck!
ooOoo
On her way back towards the villa along the dusty laneway, Maria saw Adelaide and Empress grazing along the roadside. She stopped at the big tree at the corner, and after leaning her bicycle along its trunk, she scaled the tree and managed to find a few early season crab apples, still a bit green. However, one side of each was brilliant scarlet and would do just nicely. She popped them in her pockets and climbed back down. Hopping onto her bike, she made her way towards the horses who recognized her as she approached, and they soon moseyed towards her. She leaned against the rail fence and patted their heads, detangling their manes with her nimble fingers while she dropped kisses on their noses. The apples were soon shared with her new friends.
During her early hours at the villa, the Von Trapp children had required a wee bit of convincing that Maria could be their new ally, however, these horses needed very little encouragement. Since they had initially met during her first sunrise at the villa, Maria visited the horses often and she and Adelaide had become quite close. Even little Empress, who had grown so much over the past ten days, whenever she saw her mother interacting with Maria, she became much less cautious. In fact, a few days earlier, before the children awoke, Maria had scaled the fence near the villa and rode Adelaide bareback around the paddock, her little filly bounding behind on them both on her uncoordinated legs.
Maria loved the feeling of being free and in the open air. It would be something she would miss terribly when she became a nun. Over the past 10 days she had rediscovered bike riding, tree climbing, horseback riding, and found a new love: boating. The dory in the boat house was no yacht, and the lake behind the villa was no ocean, but Maria's imagination filled in the gaps as she watched Friedrich yell his orders to his crew of brothers and sisters. His words were so vivid, Maria was able to conjure up her memory of the photograph of the Captain sitting in his place on top of his submarine on a beautiful day like today.
Patting the horses adieu for now, Maria hopped back on her bike and hurried her pace. She had promised the children that they would practice their singing on the dory after breakfast. She didn't know when the Captain would return home, but she knew he would have to be impressed with how far his children had come, how beautiful their voices were! That day, they had planned a picnic at the grove, a long common pasture area along the Allee that was lined with majestic oak trees...perfect for climbing.
As the sun shone on Maria's face, she took a deep breath and smiled. Resting her hands on her hips, she turned to face her beloved Untersberg. It was going to be a beautiful day.
ooOoo
Georg breathed in the fresh mountain air as the car rounded the last few roads that lead to the villa. As they turned off the main road to drive along the dusty lane, Elsa, who was battened down in her pillbox hat, commented on how magnificent the mountains were, and Max sat in the back seat crowing about the talents of Monastery choir. For the past hour-and-a-half, Georg had managed to rid the governess from his thoughts, and instead, was focused on introducing Elsa to the children. Everything was as it should be. Finally.
As they passed the Grove, Georg momentarily thought he was losing his mind! There, high in the trees, was a troupe of hollering and laughing children wearing matching outfits. As Elsa turned her nose up at their hooligan-ness, Georg initially dismissed them as some local urchins, but as he processed the scene he had just witnessed, the voices of the children echoed in his head and shook him to his very core. He tried extremely hard to look unaffected, particularly once he spotted Elsa looking at the unguarded expression on his face.
Although Georg did not have time to count the figures in the trees...he didn't need to count them! …he knew they were, indeed, his own seven urchins. One child in particular…she was relatively tall, lean, blonde, and wearing a headscarf, looked very much like a young Agathe Whitehead. That figure in the tree was the daughter he had chosen to remain the most distant from, lest his heart break at the mere sight of her: one Miss Louisa Franziska Von Trapp.
Suddenly, a wave of emotion hit Georg, but he was able to manage it much the same way he kept his emotions under control while hunting ships in the Adriatic. He was not sure if he was feeling unsettled at the anger bubbling in his chest when he realized it was HIS seven children in matching outfits who were hanging from a tree, or if it was the vision of his daughter, who at the moment he passed below them, was the spitting image of his late wife?
Trying not to look affected, Georg recalled the early days in his courtship with Agathe with great fondness. It was the first time in so long that a memory of his wife brought a smile to his face rather than a shooting a pain through his heart. He remembered a day, sunny and mild like today, when he was out for a walk with Agathe and her two older brothers many years ago. Although Agathe had grown up in a very privileged family, taught to be prim and proper from an early age, she did have a wild streak about her that he soon would find out was reserved just for him. While strolling along the perimeter of the Whitehead estate which hugged the shore in Fiume, she had pulled her small hand from the crook in his elbow and proceeded to scamper up a large oak tree. Once she reached the safety of the first branch, she reached into her pocket and used her handkerchief to tie back her hair. Sitting daintily, high on a branch, she then proceeded to needle Georg into joining her. Her brothers were, of course, nearby acting as chaperones, and they soon joined in on Agathe's ribbing of Georg.
Georg Von Trapp, a military man through-and-through, trained in many languages, meteorology, ship building, naval law, and naval tactics, was no slouch. He was fit-as-a-fiddle and had no qualms about tree-climbing. He was, however, in total shock that his future bride, demure and delicate, who was always decked out in beautiful summer dresses, the very pride of her very aristocratic mother, could climb trees as stealthily as an African leopard. He found himself in a state of utter shock and amazement, and Agathe interpreted his hesitation as fear and had a great laugh at his expense. That day he learned that even the most prim and proper Baroness could climb like a lumberjack. It was the first of many times in their relationship when the pride of the Whitehead clan would surprise him by doing something completely unexpected.
Georg ran his fingers over his lips as he drove along the lane in the direction of the villa, remembering that day fondly. That day he, of course, had submitted to Agathe's teasing and had quickly followed her up to the branch where they had an exceptional view of the Empire and a few moments of solitude and unchaperoned company. A small smile graced his features and he looked over towards Elsa in the car, realizing she would never be caught dead doing any sort of physical activity, let alone tree climbing. Elsa could never take the place of Agathe, ever. He grimaced slightly at the thought of her being the mother of his seven children, but what choice did he have?
As Max regaled Elsa with tales of Georg's prowess, Georg smiled inwardly - not at Max's jokes, mind you - but at the comfort that a memory of Agathe brought. Never before, not once in the four years since her death, had he allowed himself to go back to those happy times; they had always crushed his heart and the grief was overwhelming. Today it was different, however. Georg wasn't sure why, but he would happily accept a feeling of warmth instead of something that was usually so difficult to bear.
Shaking himself back to the present, he could not help but wonder what exactly his children were doing in a tree. And what was the little Fraulein up to this time...? All at once, his confidence and control began to sputter.
