"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls"
—Joseph Campbell
In the blink of an eye, Maria had seemingly lost her ability to predict the Captain's next move. In the beginning, he was completely unpredictable; his behaviour in those early days shocked her right down to her sturdy, black boots. After their great argument on the landing, however, she and the Captain developed a rapport that allowed each other to easily guess what the other was up to.
The Captain still loved to provoke and antagonize Maria; she was sure that he enjoyed working her up into a lather, just to make her angry and to push her to challenge him. Maria relished these confrontations as well - lived for them, even! Oh, she had a temper and he knew it! If he wanted to push her buttons, he was going to get the response he was hoping for, no doubt about it! However, interspersed between those moments when both would get a little hot under the collar, she had come to know a Captain with a softer side that she adored even more. It was reserved exclusively for his children or when he was having a quiet chat with her about the children, Austria, ships, submarines, the ocean, and the mountains... In those moments, his blue eyes would shine with delight. He had the impish smile of a small boy. He could smile widely without moving his lips.
In those moments, Maria's heart would pound and she would forget to breathe. He had this way about him that made her swoon, and Maria scolded herself for feeling this way. Thoughts like this were not meant to be thought by those destined for the Abbey. Fortunately for her, the Captain was so completely unattainable, she found there was no harm in indulging herself in those little moments.
On her part, Maria found herself transformed since she first arrived at the villa. Of course, being here opened her eyes to the wider world, but she felt that her personality had been softened as well. In the early days, she was the militant and hot-tempered defender of the VonTrapp seven, but now she was one of the Captain's biggest fans as well, doing everything she could to help him and his brood become a family again. She would push him when he needed it, but never too far or too fast. Maria understood the Captain's grief well and used her inside knowledge to coach him out of his shell. Ha! Just the other day Frau Schmidt had again told Maria how important her presence had been in turning things around for the Captain and his children. At first she didn't really want to take the credit, but as her relationship with the Captain developed, she began to see for herself how her proximity was a balm to him.
But over the past three days, it all had gone to Hell in a hand-basket and Maria was deeply confused and even slightly hurt by his chilly demeanor.
Maria could sense that the children were carrying on as per usual and had not noticed the Captain's sudden "scarcity". Either that or they were just too happy to care! Now that they had him back in their lives, any presence was an improvement compared to even a month ago. Maria wasn't so sure about Brigitta, however. That young girl noticed everyone and everything, just like the Captain. Brigitta said very little, but you could tell the wheels were turning. From time-to-time she would ask about her father's whereabouts and carefully consider the reasons why he wasn't around.
From her seat at the head of the table, Maria had her eye on the primary source of her confusion. For three days he had been totally off his normal course. The Captain of a ship just didn't operate this way - what was going on inside of that handsome head of his? For a man who was the epitome of order, decorum, and routine, he had become the most chaotic person in the villa. Every day he was a little bit different. He and Maria had shared many intense moments when she would catch him staring yesterday, but tonight, the Captain was completely engrossed in his kasnocken, twirling the dumplings about his plate. He was so close, but so many miles away, purposefully losing himself in a pile of dumplings. He appeared to be avoiding Maria's eyes tonight.
He was such a riddle.
Franz wove in and out of the dining room, setting meal courses, refilling drinks, and taking dishes away. He never smiled and always looked about the room as if he was just dying to crack some secret code. He was a highly disagreeable man. As Maria watched him while she carefully slurped her soup, she wondered why the Captain decided to keep him on his household staff. Everyone else at the villa were lovely souls, always offering their friendship and advice.
Looking around the table, Maria saw that the children were chatting happily amongst themselves, laughing as they told Uncle Max stories of their adventures today. They talked about their bike ride to the grove, recounted the songs they had sung, and told him how they had all returned mid-afternoon and had gone for a swim.
"Uncle Max!" Gretl crowed, "Even Fraulein Maria came to swim with us! She borrowed one of Liesl's swimsuits!"
With this bit of news, the Captain resolve finally cracked, and he could not help but respond. He immediately looked up from his dumplings directly into the eyes of Maria. His eyes were blown wide, as if he had just heard the most scandalous news. Expecting to be censured, Maria was surprised when the Captain simply gave her a sheepish grin and then promptly returned his attention to his plate. It was almost as though he was embarrassed for some reason or another...?
Riddles...So. Many. Riddles.
Uncle Max laughed heartily with the children. Mind you, when did he not laugh? He loved to weave a tale, to tell a joke, to drop a pun. He was a natural conversationalist, and many times over the past few days, Maria had found herself wishing he was her dinner partner and was not so far away at the other end of the table. He was much younger soul than his age on the calendar would suggest. They had shared so many conversations since they first met, and Maria found him to be a refreshing change from the typical approved topics of conversation at the Abbey. Some days the Captain would shush him for speaking about risqué topics and events, thinking Maria somehow needed protection. She really needed to go to confession about those discussions; she should not have laughed like she did.
Then there was the Baroness. She did not look amused to learn that the sons and daughters of Austria's greatest naval hero had been splashing about in the Leopoldskroner Weiher. Mind you, wasn't it the Captain who said that the lake had once been the home to a former military swimming school in the 1800s [1]? Surely it wasn't that scandalous?
Maria's biggest challenge was to integrate the Baroness into all of this familial bliss, but she was stubborn. Baroness Schraeder typically feigned interest at the children's stories, forcing a smile or laugh from a great chasm of disinterest; it was as obvious as the nose on her face. Maria was certain that she had been pleased as punch that she didn't have to spend much of her time with any of the children since Friday.
When the noise around the table got a little too high, the Baroness would pout at the Captain while massaging her forehead. This didn't get her too far since the kasnocken even outranked the Baroness tonight. No one could manage to meet his eyes for very long. After being ignored far longer than she could stand it, she would reach out and grasp onto the Captain's arm, catching his eyes briefly, and with raised eyebrows, implored him without words to make the noise stop because her head was pounding.
Another headache.
The Baroness had a lot of headaches. As someone who suffered from terrible migraines, Maria was quick to judge those around her who complained of this malady. Maria could tell headache pain when she saw it. What the Baroness was suffering from was more likely a case of a distinguished member of the upper class not getting their way, or perhaps a classic hangover symptom? Or maybe the Baroness felt that the children were a right honourable pain in the ...
Maria looked up to the heavens and crossed herself for having uncharitable thoughts. Why was she in such a mood tonight? Three days of a tense atmosphere with the Captain and no laughs with Max, perhaps? Taking a sip of her water, she peered over the top of her glass to study the Captain and she was met by a pair of icy blue eyes looking back at her.
Both pairs of eyes retreated to their plates almost instantly.
Trying to think of anything to distract her from the uneasy feeling she sensed when she locked eyes with the Captain, she returned her attention to the Baroness and her so-called headaches. The Baroness always seemed to be rather uncomfortable in the company of the children. She would squint, grimace, scowl and rub her temples frequently. Maria's attempts to bring the Baroness into the children's activity always seemed to be turned down. Knowing it was God's will that she was sent here, and she should help prepare the children for a new mother, she found this frustrating.
Her eyes wandered carefully down to the other end of the table once again. The Baroness was chatting with Max about some friends in Vienna and how they had shared news of the latest tabloid scandals with her. She frequently reached out, extending her fingers, and would grab onto the Captain's forearm, flashing her eyelashes at him. The Captain would sometimes briefly cover her hand with his, return a slight grimace of a smile, and then promptly turn his attention back to his dinner or to the children.
Shocked at the direction her thoughts were going, Maria mused to herself that the Captain and the Baroness were really a poor match. Surely, they could not be in love? Certainly, the Captain and the Baroness were a classy, society couple, but sometimes the Captain seemed uncomfortable in her presence, particularly when she clutched tightly to his side. His laughter was often forced, and he dropped pleasantries on her the way one would add honey to their tea. He was practical, but terribly impersonal.
Maria was certain that she had never seen the Captain showing the 'softer side' she had come to know to the Baroness. Perhaps in their private moments when Uncle Max wasn't standing watch over them, but for some reason, she doubted this was the case. They were a power couple, that much was certain, but hardly affectionate.
Why Maria cared whether or not they were in love, she was not certain. It wasn't her business, and it was God's will that she help to prepare the children for a new mother. The Captain had the right to propose to any woman he wished. And yet for some reason, Maria felt hollow inside when she thought of them together. The "real" Captain was trapped inside somewhere when he spent time with the Baroness.
After dinner, everyone had gathered in the drawing room. The girls were working on some art projects or reading while the boys were gluing the pieces of a balsa model airplane together. Quiet activities only this evening out of respect for the Baroness and her headaches.
Just after 8:00, the Captain cleared his throat and Maria's eyes locked with his. The silent message being conveyed that it was time for the children to head to bed. Maria reached into her dirndl pocket and flipped open her pocket watch. Closing it with a snap, she refrained from her usual "clap clap - let's go" and instead quietly asked the children to tidy their activities and get ready to go upstairs.
From the armchair, Georg watched Maria round up the children, and as predictable as weather, the children wished everyone a goodnight, hugged their father, and then ran upstairs to bed. Georg often felt this sense of emptiness the past few evenings after the children had left the drawing room – he wanted to follow them. To tuck them in. To read them stories. But this would mean leaving his guests alone in the drawing room. Who was he kidding? He had left his guests alone many an evening since he had returned from Vienna. She and her damn blue bathing suit was just one of the many reasons he could not follow tonight.
After the children's footsteps disappeared into the distance, Elsa announced that she needed to kick her headache and was going to turn in early. Seeing no need to chaperone, Max decided he would follow for he had a hungry little singing group he was trying to pin down in the morning. Georg rose from his chair and Elsa gave him a kiss on the cheek, running her fingernail across the side of his face and down to his chin. She held his chin in her hand and leaned in to rub her nose against his before turning and walking out into the foyer.
Falling back into his chair and alone with his thoughts of this afternoon, Georg ruminated on the scene he had encountered on the lawn before dinner. The happy children, the half-naked governess. God, what a mess! He had charted courses through war zones, figured out his enemies before they knew what they were up to themselves, and yet, here he was struggling with the realization that he was under the spell of a beautiful young woman who was living under his roof.
A highly unattainable woman for so many reasons.
It was torture, really, and consequently, Georg wasn't in any mood for sleep. It would not come easy tonight. He had to get this thing under control.
Georg headed into the foyer towards his study with an aim of working on the plans that John had sent him. Instead, he found himself staring at a pair of doors.
For almost four years, that's all they were: two doors everyone passed each day but didn't dare enter. Not until a few weeks ago when Maria let herself in and began a dance with an imaginary partner. That day and in the nights that followed, visions of that room swam in his head. He was in constant conflict with the memories of his beautiful wife that he had pushed away for so long, and the ethereal glow of the little Fraulein as her dainty form stirred up the dust. He was certain that day that Agathe had lured her there. What else could explain it?
"I will find her and send her to you," she had said...
He shook his head, almost as if he was trying to shake water from his hair and he began to head towards his study again. He took no more than two steps, however, and pulled up suddenly. Maybe this was the solution to his problems – if he truly tried to move forward with a new life, to see his current quandary as an opportunity for new beginnings, maybe things would change for him and Elsa? He could do this! His trip to the cemetery with Maria and Marta had been hard, but it was also good at the same time. Wasn't it time he just ripped off the bandage? It could not possibly be worse than his breakdown in the rain earlier that week.
Standing straight, he squared his shoulders, and like the military man he was, he leaned into his opponent, armed with newfound strength and a realization that memories of Agathe were a blessing. Georg turned on his heels and he headed back towards the ballroom doors.
His hand grasped the cold metal of the doorknob and he stood frozen for a minute. He could feel his palm sweating.
"Elsa...Elsa...Elsa," he muttered to himself squeezing his eyes tightly together.
Georg opened his eyes suddenly and let go of the handles as if he had been burned.
As he turned away into the foyer ready to flee, he saw her eyes. Maria. Looking at him, pleading with him to try. Supporting him every step of the way. He turned and took a deep breath, grabbing hold once again, he turned the knob, and pushed open the door ever so slightly. He peered into the room and his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room as the light streamed in from behind him.
As he let his mind wander, he could see Agathe waltzing around the room in his arms, breathless from their dance. He could hear the music. But unlike the recent past when the music haunted him, tonight it was calm and gentle. The memories anchored him now. As he closed his eyes, Georg could see her just like it was yesterday. The way Agathe would look up at him while they turned. Her big, expressive eyes, her scallywag smirk when she knew she was tempting him. Oh, what he would give just to touch her again.
He opened his eyes again and pushed open the door; stepping inside, he closed the door tight behind him. He felt along the wall in search of the light switch and quickly found it. Even after all this time he could navigate this room in the darkness. The Austrian crystal chandeliers, ironically brought all the way from England, began to sputter to life.
He walked towards the centre of the room. The weight of his memories challenging him, but this time the pain was not as acute as he remembered it. Had he not been to the cemetery with Maria last week, there would be no way he would have been able to do this alone. He felt a sense of accomplishment as he stood in the centre of the ballroom. He stood on his tiptoes, reaching tall as he gently plied the muslin coverings off the lights, and the room began to glow. He tugged off the reminding two covers and set them down on one of the chairs in the corner of the room.
He turned to see the place where Maria stood not so long ago. He knew how she must have felt. She must have been affected by the room, why else would she begin dancing with an imaginary partner?
Georg bristled recalling how angry he was with her on her first day. How dare she enter this room! But now he knew...he understood. Maria had been the first person to open the door to his heart in almost four long years. She managed to move mountains and unlock more doors, tossing Georg into the wide-open breezes and the sunshine.
Georg walked over to the terrace doors and flipped the lock on one of them, opening it to the outside air. It has been so long since he has done this. As he stood in the doorway, Georg could hear the cheerful chirping of crickets and katydids in the terrace garden. The frogs along the lakeshore were croaking in the darkness. In that moment, Georg realized that it was the first day in many years when he actually noticed the music of nature around him. He had shut it all out for so long.
Ah, music! Maria had brought it back into the house. Brought music back into his head. It had started gradually, but just a few days ago in the cemetery, a dam broke, and for the first time since Agathe died, he felt that he was ready to move on. If only he could lose the confusion that had settled over him the past three days.
"Ma...ri..a..." he sighed exasperatedly.
"Elsa...Elsa...Elsa," he angrily muttered to himself.
He left the terrace door open and turned towards the grand piano in the corner, imagining Agathe sitting there. He walked towards it, then bent low in a deep bow and offered her his hand.
Imagining she had gripped his gloved hand with her dainty fingers, he stood in a waltz pose, her hand in his while Georg's other hand sat firmly on her waist. Agathe would always grip tightly onto his shoulder, her eyes shining at his when she looked up at him.
Step forward –one- Step to the side –two- Step to close feet together –three- He closed his eyes once more, his thoughts trained on Agathe's beautiful face. He continued his steps.
1-2-3.
1-2-3.
As he stepped to the music of an imaginary orchestra, the image of Agathe gradually faded and was eventually replaced with the elfin smile and expressive eyes of Fraulein Maria. He may have lost Agathe all those years ago, but Maria had helped him find her again. Helped him find the children. She would always have a special place in his heart. What was it he had said to her the other night – "a bond has been forged between us that will never be broken ".
"Elsa...Elsa...Elsa," he angrily muttered to himself.
Damn, why was this all so hard!
Eventually the orchestra in Georg's head stopped playing and yet he still he imagined he had Maria in his arms, looking up at him. Breathless and wide-eyed. He tried to shake her image away, but it was persistent. After their morning in the cemetery, he had a better sense of how she felt. She had so lovingly offered him comfort, throwing caution or the wind and embracing him while the emotions threatened to cut him down.
But he had to stop thinking about her this way!
Desperate for a new distraction, Georg looked around the room, studying the scenes on the wall. He and Hede used to make up stories about the figures in each of the dioramas. Dreamily, he ran his fingers across the dancing girls, the half-clothed women, the proud stallions. It seemed like years since he had really taken this room in. It was like he was seeing it with new eyes. He had to think about anything but Maria. He just had to.
At long last his eyes settled again on the piano, and he was reminded of what a grand instrument it was!
Georg walked over to it and opened the lid and then ran his fingers gently across the keys. Pushing the bench seat back with his knee, he reached over to one of the muslin lamp wraps he had just removed and used it to wipe off the dust. Opening the hinges on the bench, Georg looked down into a sea of sheet music. He swallowed hard. Before him he saw the works of Mozart, Beethoven, Rachmaninoff, Mahler, Strauss... it had been years since he looked upon any of these. He randomly pulled out some sheet music, closed the lid and the sat down. He scattered the pages in front of him.
He knew he was not ready to really play yet. It had been far too long. He needed to warm up his fingers.
Georg took a deep breath and placed his hands on the keys, the coolness of the ivory and the ebony against the pads of his fingers. He could feel the music in his fingers. Perhaps if he just focused on the notes, he could find a way to bring them out again.
ooOoo
The children were all finally in bed and the villa was plunged into silence. It was an exhausting day and Maria should be tired, but she was too alert, processing everything that had transpired over the past few days. She tiptoed down the stairs and into the foyer, but there was no sign of the Captain or his guests. Somehow, she thought that perhaps just hearing his voice would be balm for her.
Maria needed some air. She made her way out the back terrace door, closing it quietly behind her. She headed towards the stairs, but paused as she leaned on the railing to take in the waning moon over the lake. It was a beautiful sight.
Although the night was calm and serene, there was a lot of activity in the darkness. The crickets and katydids were chirping lively, evidence that it was, indeed, a warm evening. The owls hooted and the smell of night jasmine from the large terracotta pots on the terrace filled her nose. There was a heaviness that the humidity brought to the night unlike the past few evenings. There was no breeze, and the air was stagnant.
Normally, Maria would make her way to the gazebo for some solitude, but tonight she felt restless, so she walked along the lakeshore instead. Today had been an emotional day for her and yet she could not understand why it bothered her so. Why did it matter so much? How was it that martinet of a man she had first encountered a month ago have undergone such a dramatic transformation? Why did it seem he had allowed himself to grow close to her, but then suddenly pulled away?
Perhaps she said something wrong? Hardly! she laughed when she considered all the things she had said to the Captain since he returned from Vienna.
And what of the Baroness – why could she not love the children, and did she really love the Captain? Why did he decide to settle for her when it was clear even to Maria that he didn't love her? What was this feeling she had deep inside her chest whenever she thought of the two of them together? Surely, it wasn't jealousy? She was a mere governess, he a famous Sea Captain, she a wealthy widow. This was not a love triangle she had any right to nor interest in. And yet Maria still felt sad that the Captain would be willing to settle for pleasantries instead of finding real love. He had the love of his children now and that had transformed him. Just imagine...
Maria's restless feet soon reached the boathouse, and she stood on the dock. A large fish jumped out of the water, making a splash nearby that startled her. The bullfrogs were calling to their mates, and the Weiher at night was alive with activity. After a few minutes of silent prayer and reflection, she turned away from the open waters of the lake and began to make her way along the dock and back to the villa. A light turned on in one of the upstairs bedrooms and Maria saw the Baroness come towards the window; she looked out momentarily, and then she pulled the curtains closed. Everyone inside was gearing down for the night. Looking at her pocket watch, she knew she still had a lot of time before Franz would lock the doors for the night, but still, she didn't want to be stuck outside and have to make a scene, or worse, scale the trellis under her window to get back to her room.
As she made her way up the lawn, she heard the faint sound of music coming from the villa. She stopped dead in her tracks and her ears tried to follow the sound. Could Uncle Max or the Captain be playing the gramophone at this hour? When she came outside, the foyer was eerily quiet, and Maria was certain everyone had turned in for the night.
The gramophone had also been one of the changes in the villa over the past weeks. The children were all beside themselves the day the Captain pulled it out of the attic and dusted it off for their entertainment. He had the most glorious collection of albums from the greatest composers and orchestras. The one she adored the most was a scratchy recording of Herbert von Karajan's first conducting stint with the Salzburg Orchestra in January 1929. She remembered listening to that album while in teacher's college, and having ready access to it now was a bonus of her stay at the villa.
Maria's feet, as if they had ears of their own, had followed the sound of the music and she found herself at the base of the hedge surrounding the terrace. There, she heard the faint notes of the composer who had been in her head all afternoon, most likely inspired by her lunches with the Captain at the Café on the Getreidgasse: Mozart. Specifically, his piano concerto No. 21 in C Major. She would know that piece anywhere – the slow middle movement was one that she learned to clumsily play as a teenager, before she threw herself into singing.
Maria entered the terrace behind the ballroom through the small maze in the hedgerow. The door to the ballroom was wide open and the lights cast a warm glow onto the smooth terrace floor. Her feet were rooted to the spot and her mouth was agape. The music was, indeed, coming from inside the ballroom, and she was certain it was not the gramophone. But how? Or more importantly, who?
Expecting to see Uncle Max tinkering away on the Captain's piano, she quietly came alongside the open door and peeked around the corner of the door frame and into the room.
She focused her eyes in the direction of the beautiful sound and gasped aloud when she did not see Herr Detweiller, but instead, she saw the broad shoulders of the Captain, his body angled and facing towards the doors that opened into the foyer. He was sitting at the piano and the music was pouring out of his fingers.
How did this happen? Just a few weeks ago he had told her that "some rooms in this house are not to be disturbed", yet, here he was, reuniting with his music in this ballroom. On her first day she was so taken by the beauty of this room, yet tonight her attention was fixed in the man in the room seated at the piano. Liesl and Friedrich had told her countless stories about how he would play piano while their mother played violin or simply sang along. Liesl said that one of their favourite works to play together was Satie's Trois Morceaux en forme de Poire.
He was not playing overly loud; he obviously did not want to bring attention to himself. However, the quality of his notes was heaven-sent. He was a true musician and the focus with which he played fascinated Maria. She could listen to beautiful music all day. It was yet another reason why she had been attracted to life at the Abbey.
Here she was again, finding herself musing about some new discovery about her, um...the Captain. The same man that days before had openly grieved with her, who had lunched with her and his daughter, who had laughed at the dinner table. This was the same man that not long ago had lived in a home where music was not allowed. In those intervening weeks, he had challenged her, irked her, angered her, yelled at her, fascinated her, and touched her heart...But, over the past few days, rather suddenly, he was ignoring her. That same man was now sitting at the piano and was lost in the beautiful sounds of an even more beautiful was an incredible transformation.
Maria was lost in her thoughts, but the music progressively became louder and she noticed that the Captain's posture noticeably began to relax, his head and shoulders becoming part of the performance. Maria closed her eyes and imagined a concert at the Musikverein...the greatest pianists of her time like Bruno Walter, Charlotte Eisler, Eduard Steuermann, pouring out their souls to an adoring audience. But this! She could have never imagined this! The Captain was so talented – she could picture him sitting on the stage, performing to a sell-out crowd. Maria always felt that grief helped her and the Captain to bond, but it was music that changed the entire household, and it gave the two of them something happy that they could share since his return from Vienna. Maria was entranced with the Captain's voice, the recordings he had chosen, and now it was the music of his piano that had her transfixed.
She trained her eyes on the shoulders of the Captain once more, following the line of his broad shoulders and down his arms. She could see his hands dancing across the keys, but her traitorous eyes followed his arms back up to his shoulders, appreciating the strength in his posture, and his noble, patrician profile. His hair had fallen slightly forward onto his forehead, giving him a roguish look. Maria was momentarily lost in the man and his music before she realized what she had been doing. Crossing herself, looking skyward for forgiveness for even noticing him in that way; she tried to look away, but it was impossible.
As the final notes of the piece spread through the ether, Maria snapped out of her trance and noted the sense of peace that the Captain had: his stillness and silence as he contentedly placed his hands in his lap. She shook her head and decided she should be off to bed before he caught her intruding on his personal space. Again.
As she turned to leave and scamper across the terrace, the Captain, not looking at her at all, spoke out loud and she froze.
"Fraulein. I would hope that members of a non-paying audience would at least be somewhat appreciative of such a performance".
Maria was aghast. How did he even know she was there? She blushed down to her toes.
The Captain lifted his feet high off the floor and spun around on the piano bench so he was looking right at her. He placed his elbows on his knees and he had a crooked smile on his face and had cocked his eyebrow. He was so handsome when he did that.
"Oh Captain!" Maria floundered. "That was the most beautiful thing I have heard in a very long time. Well, since you sang with the children, of course!"
The Captain's smile grew wider and his eyes shone. All of his attempts to avoid her were to be tossed aside in that moment. He had truly missed her and now she was here. Was it fate?
"I will find her and send her to you," she had once said...
"Do step in, won't you Fraulein? I trust you know your music, being from the Abbey and all. I suspect your tastes may be more sacred than secular? Although I have seen you flipping through my records with great verocity," he said with a laugh.
Maria straightened and braced for battle, but she could not find it in herself to be annoyed with him. Not with him looking so handsome….um, so musical!
"Captain. I did have a life before I entered the Abbey. I have also been caught by the sisters escaping the Abbey during the Festpiele just so I could loiter around the Felsenreitschule and listen to the beautiful music," Maria replied.
The Captain went to speak, but Maria quickly cut him off before he could say anything. "That, Sir, was Herr Mozart, Piano Concerto Number 21, K. 467, Andante. It's been in my head all afternoon – well, longer than that - since we had lunch again at Café Mozart with Marta". She finished her words by clicking her heels together, standing ramrod straight, and offering him a jaunty salute.
The Captain squinted at her, trying so very hard to look annoyed and unimpressed, but it didn't last long. Soon, he smiled again and saluted back to her.
"I'm impressed Fraulein. With your musical knowledge, of course, but also because you were able to decipher that from what I was playing."
Maria rolled her eyes and relaxed her shoulders as she made her way through the doorway towards the Captain.
"That was beautiful, Captain. I am so sorry to have intruded on such a personal moment and I'm sure you didn't expect anyone to find you here…but I followed the sound of the music from outside, and I just had to be a part of it. The children have told me you were very musical and used to play with the Baroness…I truly assumed that I would find Herr Detweiller in here. He seems to be caught in places he should not be almost as much as me!"
They both smiled at each other, eyes locked. Maria blushed furiously and the Captain muttered to himself without speaking a word: "Elsa...Elsa...Elsa! oh damn it, who cares!".
Maria pulled him from his thoughts when she found the courage to speak again.
"I realize it's probably not my place to ask, but you know how I am, and you told me not to change," Maria said with a wide smile, "but when did you first come back to this room? I was under the impression that it was not to be disturbed."
"Didn't stop you, did it Fraulein, hmm?" he said with a laugh.
"It was just tonight, actually", the Captain continued. "I don't know if I can explain it, but after clearing my head and my heart in the cemetery, I have realized that I have the ability to live with her memory. The times we shared should not be forgotten, they should be cherished. You were right, again, as much as I hate to admit it. The progress I have made last few days has shown me that I'm slowly learning to live with the memories of my wife instead of running from them. I have you to thank for that. Did you know that when I tried to open the doors to this very room tonight, I imagined what you would have said to me had you been here - and so I pushed on."
Maria rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. She knew she had helped, but here was a man that didn't do anything unless he really wanted to. Instead of arguing with him, she thanked him for his acknowledgment instead.
Without any effort at all, the words just began to pour out of Georg. So much for ignoring his, um, the little Fraulein.
"You see, Fraulein, Agathe loved to play piano. Although I can play, I would much rather sit back and enjoy someone else's handiwork. After my wife passed, as you know, I shut music out of my life. This was her piano. It's a Bösendorfer Lizst. A rare edition, an absolutely incredible work of art. After she passed, I considered selling the piano. Max would not hear anything of it, and he was instrumental –no pun intended - in my decision to keep it. Yet, because it was hers, because there are so many memories associated with this piece, it was so hard to live with; and yet, there was no way I could part with it, either. It was easier to lock it in this room and close the doors on the memories. Well, that is, until the new governess arrived and turned the room – and much of the villa, for that matter - on its head".
Maria smiled and looked down at her toes. She was sure she was blushing again.
"Come. Sit." Georg said as he threw caution to the wind, patting the piano bench beside him as he shimmied over to make room for her. "Do you play?"
"A little. But very poorly. I actually used to peck out the very piece you just played so beautifully when I was a teenager. Then I discovered signing was easier for me and required little practice."
"Show me?" he asked.
Maria looked at him bashfully, and slouched in frustration, silently telling the Captain that resistance was futile. He gave her a boyish grin with a flick of his eyebrows, willing her to at least try. Taking a deep breath, Maria slid to the edge of the bench and extended her arms, brushing the Captain's right arm as she placed her fingers on the keys. He did not move, though, he just turned his upper body so he could see her profile.
Maria's mouth was dry. How did he expect her to play when he was looking at her like that?
"Fraulein, aren't you the same woman who let me have it on the landing? Surely you can play piano in my midst?" he said with a grin.
Did he just call her a woman?
Maria rolled her eyes, and her fingers began to move, however, much slower and much clumsier than the Captain's. She squinted at the piano music, and as she reached the bottom of the page, the Captain leaned forward and reached in front of her to turn the page. As he did so, she was hit by the scent of him. Her skin tingled where his Trachten jacket rubbed across her arm. For a moment, she lost her place in the music, but the look he gave her to encourage her was all she needed to continue.
Finally, the last note hung in the air between them. The Captain looked at Maria and it was so intense that she forgot to breathe. His face was soon graced by a wide smile that melted her heart.
"Not bad, Fraulein, not bad at all. You know, you're welcome to come in and play any time. I know you love to sing, but you have some talent here as well".
"Thank you, Captain," Maria replied. "It was quite sloppy compared to your playing, and your performance was incredible considering the fact this is the first time you have played in years. I would hazard to guess that in a few days, your fingers will be limber, and the music will just pour out of you!".
The Captain looked embarrassed, but completely flattered by Maria's complement. Once he regained his composure, he spoke again.
"You know, Fraulein, I once considered being a concert pianist. It was Rachmanioff's fault that I fell for the keyboard. Instantly, I saw myself as "le Grand Pianist" with leonine looks and dazzling arpeggios! I slaved away under several long-suffering piano teachers but was much too impatient. Why take lessons when I could pick it up all by ear? Gradually, I found I was able to emulate the left-hand harmonies fairly accurately, and though my meager but growing repertoire may have been in all the wrong keys, I could duplicate some of the great concerti and solo pieces adequately enough to fool at least a quarter of the people a quarter of the time [2]. What about you?"
"I never had a piano growing up. My memories of life with my parents are fuzzy, but I know we did have a banjo and a guitar. My aunt in Vienna had a beautiful piano. After my parents died and I moved to live with my Uncle, I took music lessons from a lady down the street. Initially it was to play guitar and piano, but once she realized I could sing, we moved on to that. I have always been in love with the piano, however. If I could be great at anything, I wish I could play like the virtuosi of our time."
"Fraulein. You are wonderful at so many things." Georg remarked with a look that could set Maria on fire.
"You're an incredibly talented seamstress, singer, teacher, and the best damn governess this household has ever had! You are wonderful with children, you are patient, loving, and kind. You have taken this washed-up old sailor and saved him from himself. Don't ever let self-doubt hold you back. Don't let self-doubt ever teach you that you need an Abbey to belong to the world. You would do the world a disservice by hiding away inside those stone walls." He reached over and covered her hands, her eyes immediately dropping to where they were joined.
"So much for keeping a chilly, yet polite distance!" Georg thought to himself.
Georg titled his head and looked up at her through his eyelashes, imploring her to look at him. Maria's insides were on fire, and she just could not look, lest she betray how she was feeling.
Eventually the silence and the emotions she was feeling caught up to her and a tear escaped and ran down her cheek. Of course, Georg spotted it right away and he lifted his hand and stopped it in its track with the pad of his thumb.
She looked up at him and smiled; squeezing her eyes closed, more tears escaped.
"Hey, what's this?" Georg said, lifting her chin so she could not hide from him.
"Captain." Maria took a deep breath before continuing. "That is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. The day before I left the Abbey, the Reverend Mother told me that it was the will of God that I leave and come to this family. She told me you were a fine man and a brave one. I fought her, of course. The abbey is my home, the sisters are my family. And yet, these past few weeks with your children, sir, have made me feel like I belong to something greater. And for you of all people to tell me I have made a difference, well...".
Georg dropped his hand and stuffed his hand in his pocket, pulling out a handkerchief that he passed to Maria.
"It's true, Fraulein. As plain as the nose on my face, you are the reason for their happiness, and for mine. Thank you for everything. I will be eternally in your debt."
Sensing an opportunity to flee from her feelings and the awkward silence between them, Maria seized her opportunity.
"Well, sir, if that is the case, and we both know how much both adore the children, can I ask you something?".
Georg nodded, not quite sure where this was going.
"Indeed Fraulein," he replied. "By this point you can ask me anything. Even if you don't like my answer – I know you can handle yourself."
"Well," Maria continued. "I was speaking to Herr Detweiller this afternoon while the children were upstairs getting ready for dinner. He was telling me about his friend Professor Kohner..."
"Ah! Now I know where this is going..." Georg chuckled to himself?
"Oh Captain!" Maria gushed. "Did you know he is Anton Aicher's brother-in-law? The Anton Aicher. Herr Detweiller is indeed well-connected! First Herr Reinhardt, now this! I don't doubt he could make me a famous singer should I ever choose to pursue it!" she said with a wink.
"Herr Aicher has brought his marionettes to the Abbey's orphanage many times and he has done shows for the children. There was even a version of the Magic Flute a few years ago, well, until the sisters realized what they were singing about, and it was never heard again. Anyway, it was so lovely...".
Maria's head was firmly back in the clouds. Georg knew where this was going, but he did not have the heart to interrupt her story. Maria's eyes danced as she spoke about her favourite opera and then she began to tell him all about the touring productions from Leningrad and the Balkans that Herr Aicher's puppets had put on. The stage, the curtains, the goats, the goatherd. The children could learn, they could put on a puppet show for him and the Baroness...
Georg was only half paying attention at this point. He had already had this discussion with Max and told him it was absolutely out of the question. He wasn't remotely interested in a monstrosity of a puppet show – where the Hell would he put it? Not to mention the cost of it all. However, now that she was asking the question he could, indeed, think of somewhere he could put it. Right here in this ballroom. And could he ever say no to her?
The battle was lost. And not just this battle...but also the one he had waged over the past 72 hours. Some great naval hero he was! Alas, he was no better than Ulysses and his men in Etty's painting of the Sirens.
After everything she had done for him – making him see sense...finding him the night he threw whistle into the lake, offering comfort selflessly in the cemetery, could he really deny her anything? And he knew she was asking on behalf of the children. Her primary goal was to make them happy, and the children had missed out on so much since Agathe died.
Still, Georg decided to push her buttons a little. He loved watching her get stoked up over something that she was passionate about. They sparred for a few minutes, despite Georg knowing he would always say "yes". When he finally conceded, Maria jumped up from the piano bench and clasped her hands together excitedly.
"Now, Fraulein. Let's not let the children in our little secret, hmm? Let me talk to Max in the morning and we will put him in charge of coordinating everything with Anton. We will have the puppets and the stage delivered some afternoon while you and the children are on an outing, do you agree? I think I owe them this gift and I can't wait to see the look of surprise on their faces. It's been four Christmases since I have had the opportunity..."
Maria was still beside herself with glee. "Thank you, Captain, thank you! Not only for the puppet show, but for your kind words. For your beautiful gift of music this evening. I hope to hear you play again soon!"
Maria plunged her hands into her pockets of her dirndl and pulled out her pocket watch. Flipping open the case, she rolled her eyes at the time. It was practically midnight!
"Oh Captain," Maria exclaimed, "My apologies, I have consumed yet another of your evenings with my incessant babbling".
"Fraulein," Georg replied, "I was happy to share it with you. It's been a while since we had a chance to chat. I've missed this." he said with a wave of his arms.
"Now, leave the puppet show logistics with me. I will let you know when things are going to happen," he said as he smiled widely.
Maria made her way towards the terrace door.
"Should I get this for you, Captain?" she asked.
"No, no..." he waved her away. "No need. I think I would like to spend a bit more time in here before turning in, and just like in a submarine, an air exchange is terribly overdue. And before you apologize for interrupting me, please don't. It was my pleasure."
"Good night, Captain." Maria cooed. "I may be over-stepping, but I know your wife would be proud of you. Being in here. It's a beautiful room with beautiful memories. Now you have the opportunity to make new memories."
She turned away from him and made her way to the doors to the foyer. Before she opened them, the Captain called after her.
"Fraulein. Unrelated point of discussion, but I am a Captain, and I am nosey," he said with a smirk. "Have you made a start on your dress?".
Maria was surprised he had even remembered. He had given her that fabric soon after he returned from Vienna.
"It's getting there, Captain. I wanted to do it justice, so it took a while to plan. I hope to work on it again this week when I have the afternoon off. Thank you for asking and thank you again for giving it to me. It's so beautiful," she said with a dreamy look on her face.
"Well, goodnight, Captain. Gut schlafen."
And with that, she was gone.
Georg sat in silence as he heard the door close behind her. He followed the patter of her footsteps across the foyer and upstairs, disappearing once they had traversed the carpet.
He had blown it! Pure and simple.
After three agonizing days of trying to avoid her, look what had just happened!
Despite his disappointment with himself, he was relieved it was over. He was glad tonight had happened. He had missed her terribly, and as if she knew it, she came upon him in the most unlikely of places. Her proximity was a comfort to him, although he still wasn't sure why. However, he knew that playing with fire is always fun until you get burned. Would this night come back to haunt him? He hoped not. Despite his prodding tonight, she did not admit to having second thoughts about returning to the Abbey. She was a woman of will, and she believed strongly in God's mission for her. Now that he understood more clearly that she still wished to return, he decided to make the most of their time together. He just needed to remember she was a dear friend only. If it was good enough for Plato, it was good enough for Georg Von Trapp.
Surely as a decorated naval captain under the watchful eye of the woman he had been courting for two years, he could do this! And yet, the mystery that was Maria continued to haunt him and would continue to challenge him. They seemed to share this second sense that was not easily explained. How did she manage to find him here? How did he know she was watching him? Halfway through the 2nd movement, he had a sense that she was nearby. Her presence so tangible he could feel it deep in his bones. He felt himself relax almost instantly when he knew, then the music came from his fingers with ease.
This was going to be hard, but knew he was up for the challenge. It was just under two months until school started again. What would happen then, he wasn't sure; he felt sad just thinking about it. He would spend the rest of the summer making the children happy, which in turn would make her happy. They could be friends without all the hassle of the rest of it - one only had to look at his relationship with Elsa to see how a relationship could complicate what they shared?
For Georg, Maria was like fire. But whether she was going to warm his hearth, or burn down his house, he could not tell.
[1] The all-knowing Wikipedia says that the lake behind Schloss Leopoldskron (where the movie was filmed) was a Military swimming school in the 1800s. It opened for men in 1829, then a women's program was added in 1842.
[2] I am quite sure the Captain did not take his piano lessons as described (besides, the real Captain's birthdate doesn't align with the possibility of being influenced by Rachmaninoff in his youth), nor did he describe his looks as leonie! This was a direct quote from Christopher Plummer's Memoir, In Spite of Myself, and I could not resist putting it in here, despite the historical inaccuracies. There are some great videos on the internet showing Chris playing piano!
