Early in the morning, Luornu took a shower, brushed her teeth while still naked, and put on comfortable underwear and her new Imperial uniform. The uniform consisted of dress shoes, trousers, a belt, an undershirt, a jacket, and a rank on the jacket. The trousers had knee pockets and thigh pockets while the jacket had shoulder and chest pockets. For enlisted, their uniforms were gray trousers and jackets, black undershirts, and a rank prominently shown on their chest. Enlisted ranks were a line of blue and gray squares. For officers, their uniforms were black trousers and jackets, various colors of undershirts, and a rank prominently shown on the left side of their chest. Officer undershirt colors were red for commanders, yellow for operations, blue for sciences, green for medical, indigo for education, purple for the arts, orange for tourism and leisure, brown for agriculture, and black for the clergy. Officer ranks were a line of blue, red, orange, and yellow squares.

In those days, Earth occupations were divided into the active, reserve, and national components. The separate components were divided further into the navy, army, regional government, central government, imperial security bureau, ministry of industry, and intelligence bureau with the vast majority being in industries. The active component was dominated by Brainiac 5 drones and nearly all manager roles excluded humans. The active component was heavy into mining, construction, manufacturing, utilities, trade, retail, transportation, information, finances, government services, and agriculture. Humans generally did not partake in these occupations, were rarely allowed to be officers, rarer still to be commanders, and never commanded drones. The bulk of Earth's economy, around ninety percent, was through the active component. Humans who opted for the active component and successfully passed Brainiac 5's rigorous standards and testing were promoted faster and had a different resource allocation formula that often placed active enlisted personnel at a higher level than reserve officers. These humans could also pride themselves on how essential they were to the economy. Brainiac 5 could hire, transfer, and fire humans at any time for any reason within the active component.

The reserve and national components were occupations Brainiac 5 did not consider to be critical functions of the economy or defense. They still consisted of all the operational occupations in the active component but were considered supplemental or non-essential. They also consisted of human-oriented occupations in the sciences, medicine, education, arts, tourism, and leisure. Humans could elect to be either in the reserve or national component. In the reserves, one could be assigned or ask for an assignment anywhere on the planet. In the national component, one could be assigned or ask for assignment only in their resident nation. Humans could also decline an occupation, remain at the rank of E-1, and receive a minimum but comfortable living standard. Brainiac 5 drones were present in the reserve and national components but in an advisory role, typically a warrant officer. Commanding line officers were more common here, supposedly knowing how to lead but weren't necessarily expected to be subject matter experts in the field they were commanding.

Depending on the occupation, a regular uniform was discarded for a "work uniform" appropriate for a particular line of work. In these cases, workers showed up to their station in their regular uniforms and then quickly changed into their work uniforms, and then changed back into their regular uniforms when they left. For super-casual wear, people tended to wear comfortable loose one-colored pants and jackets with no rank. Off-duty, it was bad etiquette to show off rank or use rank in any way creating a mostly equal society until it came time to pay for things. Fashion was mostly dead on planet Earth, a victim of Kara's Kryptonian management style.

Luornu was not bothered by this at all. She put on her officer uniform with a yellow undershirt and a rank of one blue square indicating a rank of cadet, O-0, a central government intern. Luornu went to work on her short jet-black hair, her eyeglasses, and her lipstick. Although an alien, she looked remarkably similar to an East Asian of the 21st century.

Luornu finally exited her small Metropolis apartment, got herself a bagel, took the subway, and made her way to the Daily Planet building. Luornu took the elevator to the top floor and met with the receptionist. "I'm looking for an Alex Danvers," she said cluelessly.

"Luornu Durgo?" Alex questioned upon seeing her. Alex was in an officer's uniform with a yellow undershirt and had a junior supervisor rank of two blue squares, one orange, and one yellow indicating she was an O-2.

"That's me," Luornu said chipperly.

"Great, Barney has an odd sense of humor sending you here. Follow me," Alex ordered.

"Wow, what a bitch," Luornu thought to herself as she followed Alex deeper into the office.

"I was Kara's second assistant but her first assistant got promoted so now I'm the first. That makes me a big deal," Alex told her.

"So, you're replacing yourself?" Luornu asked confused.

"Well, I'm trying...and failing. Kara sacked the last two girls after a few weeks. We need someone who can survive her," Alex said.

"Well, I survived on a desolate planet all by myself for a few years so...," Luornu said confidently.

"I don't care, Kara won't care," Alex shut her down.

"Who is Kara?" Luornu asked oblivious.

"The fuck is wrong with you? She's the Supreme Leader, the Empress of the Terran Sector, the Queen of Earth, a legend, and the chief editor of the Daily Planet when she feels like it," Alex said flabbergasted.

"Hey, I just got off the boat. Give me a break," Luornu said defensively.

"If you do well here, you can work in any sector you like. A million girls would kill for this job," Alex explained.

"Well, I'm no stranger to killing," Luornu smiled.

"Luornu, the Daily Planet is a newspaper so an interest in the news is crucial. You give me the impression you're a total ditz," Alex critiqued. "Well...shit," she muttered as she looked at her phone.

"What is it?" Luornu asked wide-eyed.

"Kara is on her way early. We are so fucked," Alex said freaking out. Immediately, the office was in a flurry of activity as the humans who generally worked at the Daily Planet routinely made the place a total mess.

The office was supervised by one Brainiac 5 drone. He appeared in his typical all-black uniform with three green dots on his chest. Brainiac 5 technically had the rank of O-15, the Grand Vizier in the central government, but he also held all sorts of ranks within the system. Drones make up 90% of the Earth's workforce. The Daily Planet was an exception to the rule with it being a purely human function to research, report, and talk shit about Kara's regime. Its existence was not considered a critical function to the economy or government so humans were allowed to run it as they pleased except when Kara occasionally sacked it, which was now.

Humans, who up until now, had been engaging in non-stop Harlem Shake involving furry costumes, blow-up dolls, stripping their clothes off, waving said clothing articles in the air, creating a blizzard of cocaine, and dancing provocatively. Now, they all had to clean up their mess ASAP before Kara arrived. Alex, herself, rushed to get Kara's office in order with a stack of Daily Planet copies and a Diet Coke. Kara's presence in the lobby of the skyscraper freaked out all the humans not expecting her presence. As Kara went toward an open elevator, the occupants immediately scurried out and profusely apologized to her for taking up space in her domain and breathing her air.

Kara finally arrived on the top floor like a boss and met with Alex. "I don't know why it's so difficult to confirm appointments," Kara complained.

"Actually, I did confirm...," Alex protested.

"Alex, this is an even greater disappointment to me than when you came out as gay to me," Kara said peeved. "Tell Governor Simon, I won't approve that girl as First Lady of Brazil. I asked him to marry a clean, saintly, and endearing woman, not one of his dirty whores. RSVP yes to Michael Coors's beer party. I want the driver to pick me up at 21:30 and bring me back home by 0945. By then, I should be sufficiently wasted. Then, tell Natalie at Glorious Foods it's a no for the 40th time. If they don't have crullers, they're dead to me. Call my husband and tell him there's a parent-teacher conference at Midvale, then arrange dinner at Olive Garden. It's crap but I want to be a woman of the people and I want to punish Mon for being an ass. Tell, Dick, I saw his feature on female paratroopers. They all look butch and one hormone pill away from being classified as men. Is it too much to ask that our female paratroopers look like me? Am I reaching for the stars? No, I think not."

"Holy shit," Alex said under her breath.

"What is she doing here?" Kara asked of Luornu who was cheerfully sitting at a random desk.

"She was sent over here by human resources but she's all wrong for this position," Alex said.

"Clearly...I have to do the interviews, myself. The last two you sent me were completely inadequate," Kara scolded. "So, send her in. That's all."

Luornu then awkwardly entered Kara's office. "Who are you?" Kara asked.

"Luornu Durgo, of the planet Cargg. I was recruited by the Vindicator Corps not too long ago," Luornu said.

"And what are you doing here?" Kara asked suspiciously.

"Well, I think I can do a good job as your assistant. And, it's either this place or I get a job at Auto-Universe," Luornu said brightly.

"You don't read the news, do you?" Kara questioned.

"Nope," Luornu shook her head.

"And up until today you had never even heard of me," Kara figured.

"Well, I knew of you but not in a personal way," Luornu clarified.

"Do you know why I am the chief editor of the Daily Planet?" Kara asked.

"Cuz, you're an all-powerful dictator that can do whatever she wants," Luornu guessed.

"I was the chief editor of Midvale High's newspaper, I graduated with a BA in journalism at Metropolis University, won a national competition for college journalism with my series on how the janitors union was ripping off tax-payers, was the special assistant to Cat Grant at Catco magazine for a year, and a junior reporter for Catco for a year. That makes me qualified to run a state-owned planet-wide newspaper a thousand years into the future," Kara said impressed with herself.

"You know what? You're right. I don't fit in here. I'm an alien with no experience or knowledge about this planet, and I don't give a shit about humanity. But I'm smart, I work hard, and I'm a survivor. After an apocalypse on my planet, only I was left alive. I had to live alone in the dark for years. Like you, I know what it's like to be the last of your kind, a total orphan. I had to go through a lot of pain and suffering to stay alive, and I know my worth," Luornu told her off.

"No intern has ever spoken to me like that," Kara said shocked and appalled.

"I'm not apologizing," Luornu said flatly.

"You're hired," Kara decided.

"Shit," Luornu realized.


The next morning, Luornu had Kara's coffee on time even though it was super-early. Alex gave Luornu an odd look but then put her at a desk to answer the phones and monitor emails. "I'm not here. You're chained to that desk," Alex ordered.

"What if I have to piss?" Luornu questioned.

"No, one time an assistant left the desk because she got stabbed by a terrorist. Now, she works in TV," Alex said seriously.

"I'm getting mixed messages," Luornu said confused.

"Woman the desk at all times, got it?" Alex ordered. "Remember, you and I have totally different jobs. You get coffee and run errands while I'm in charge of her schedule, her appointments, and her expenses. Most importantly, I go with Kara to Paris for the Galactic Summit."

"You had my job only a few weeks ago," Luornu reminded her.

"I go to all the meetings, and parties, and meet with all the galactic leaders in the federation. It's divine," Alex gushed.

"So, what happens if someone calls asking for Kara about a newsworthy emergency I know nothing about, and I can't get a hold of her?" Luornu asked.

"Deal with it," Alex said vaguely and walked off.

The phone then rang. "Ms Zor-El's office," Luornu answered. "I meant Kara Zor-El's office. She's in a meeting. Could I please take a message? Okay. Can you please spell Vesuvius? Hello?" Luornu shrugged as the mayor had been yelling at her with high levels of background noise and then went suddenly silent.

Brainiac 5 went over to Luornu's desk. "How are you fitting in?" he asked warmly.

"It's been super-easy, barely an inconvenience so far," Luornu smiled.

"Lor-nu, Lor-nu!" Kara yelled for her.

"She means you," Brainiac 5 said helpfully.

Luornu then rushed over "There you are, Lor-nu. How many times do I have to scream your name?" Kara scolded.

"Actually, it's Luornu (Lew-or-new)," Luornu corrected.

Kara gave a fake condescending smile. "I need ten or fifteen reporters to go over to Italy to report on a volcanic eruption."

"Which ones?" Luornu wondered.

"Bore someone else with your questions," Kara said dismissively. "Make sure my yacht is ready to go at pier 59 at 0800 tomorrow morning, remind Jocelyn I need to see the saddle for the prized Stallion Marc is bringing to me. Then, tell Governor Simon he can marry Jackie if Maggie isn't available. Did Demarchelier confirm?"

"Wat?" Luornu asked totally confused.

"Did Demarchelier? Did he...get him on the phone," Kara ordered. "That's all."


Alex then came back into the office. "Do you have Demarchelier?" Kara asked impatiently.

"Who is that?" Luornu whispered to Alex.

"I got it," Alex said, giving him a call. "The Supreme Leader wants Demarchelier," she said on the phone. "I got Patrick," Alex shouted to Kara.

"Everything she said didn't make sense to me. Should I ask for clarification?" Luornu asked Alex.

"No, you don't ask Kara anything," Alex shot down.

"Well, okay then," Luornu smiled adorably.


The next day, Kara noticed her coffee was ready on time just the way she liked it. "At 12:30, editors bring in their headlines, and Kara chooses. She chooses every single headline in every issue. It's a huge fucking deal," Alex said panicked.

At lunch, Luornu met up with Brainiac 5. "Corn chowder, interesting choice," he remarked.

"I just love corn," Luornu said wide-eyed. "After the apocalypse, I only ate meat to survive."

"Try some bread as well," Brainiac 5 gestured.

While in line to check out, Luornu got some soup on her jacket. "Shit," she realized.

Brainiac 5 then suddenly turned to her. "Kara has moved up her schedule. You're already late."

"Am I?" Luornu rolled her eyes.


As it happened, Luornu was at Kara's side while she looked over headlines from several editors. "No, I've seen this all before," Kara said unimpressed.

"I'm trying to reinvent...," one editor said defensively.

"Where are the other headlines?" Kara demanded.

"There are some right there. This one could be interesting," another editor said, showing it to her.

"No," Kara shot down. "Tell me, why it's so difficult to put together a decent newspaper? You people have had hours and hours to prepare. Your fuck up just baffles me."

"Where are the pictures for the layout?" Kara demanded.

"We have a piece on a Banana Republic oppressing and murdering their people again," one editor said.

"Really?" Kara asked surprised. "What do you think of that? Should I intervene? You know me," she asked Brainiac 5.

"It's worth your attention," Brainiac 5 said.

"But do you think it would be too much? Remember what I did in Central America in July," Kara countered.

"I thought that, but no, not with the right mission parameters," Brainiac 5 assured her.

"What is the front story?" Kara asked. The editors just gave her blank looks. "Why is no one ready?" Kara asked annoyed.

"It's a tough call," an editor said, showing two different front stories that appeared superficially the same.

Luornu chuckled amused, her suit jacket clean. "Something funny?" Kara stared.

"Why do they name a Banana Republic after a banana?" Luornu asked immaturely. "You know, I'm still learning about this stuff but that just seemed funny to me."

"In 1904, the American author O. Henry coined the term to describe Guatemala and Honduras under economic exploitation by American corporations, such as the United Fruit Company. Therefore, the term banana republic is an insulting description of a servile oligarchy that abets and supports, for kickbacks, the exploitation of large-scale plantation agriculture, especially banana cultivation. The definition was expanded in political science to describe a country operated as a private commercial enterprise for the exclusive profit of the ruling class," Kara lectured. "Sound funny to you now?"

"Isn't that what you do?" Luornu asked confused.

The editors just gawked at her. Kara gave Luornu a stunned expression. "Everyone out!" she ordered. Once everyone left the room, Kara stared Luornu down. "I represent this planet's GDP and countless jobs and it's sort of comical how you think that you have a choice and that you're exempted from my total control."

"You're not happy unless everyone around you is panicked, nauseous, or suicidal just like you, and I will not worship you," Luornu said boldly.


Interestingly enough, Luornu was not fired after that fight. The next morning, Kara gave Luornu a list of things to do that were completed on time. "Where is that piece of paper I had in my hand yesterday?" Kara demanded.

"Here you go," Luornu said, handing it to her immediately.

"The kids need new surfboards. Get them for me," Kara demanded. Not long afterward, Kara had a new demand. "The twins need flip-flops." Despite this, Luornu managed to be at her desk and answer all her calls. "Get me new boots and walk my dog, Krypto," Kara ordered.

Later, Kara came back to Luornu at her desk. "Get me a reservation at Dorsia, tonight, with a good view." She then turned to the rest of the office. "Where is everyone? Why is no one working? What the fuck is going on here?"

Kara continued to test Luornu's limits by working late and having Luornu with her the whole time. As soon as Luornu got home from work, Kara called her up. "I need a flight from Metropolis to Midvale for my daughter's dance recital."

"But you can fly," Luornu reminded her.

"I prefer to relax in an airplane, drink wine, watch movies, eat pretzels, and hang out with other first-class passengers," Kara said.

"No problem," Luornu said as he went to work on it.

As it happened, there was a hurricane preventing any flights from leaving Metropolis. The state transportation companies run by Brainiac 5 refused to fly anyone. With the full weight of Kara's name, Luornu negotiated with all the human-managed airports and airlines.


The next day, Kara and Luornu had a chat about the situation. "Mara's dance recital was absolutely wonderful. Everyone loved it," Kara said shedding a tear. "Do you know why I hired you?" Kara asked her.

"No...," Luornu said cautiously.

"I always hire the same girl, brown-haired, brown-eyed, pale complexion, slender, confused sexuality, worships newspapers, of course. But so often they turned out to be disappointing and stupid. So, you, with your impressive backstory and your speech about your work ethic, I thought you would be different. I told myself that I should take a chance on you. Hire the weird-ass feral alien girl. I had hope. My God, I live on hope," Kara continued.

"Anyway, you ended up disappointing me more than any of the other silly girls," Kara said.

"I got you on a plane to Midvale in a hurricane and you saw your daughter's recital," Luornu pointed out.

"Yes, but it wasn't a G5 airplane," Kara scolded. "No movie, no drink, not even pretzels."

Luornu then left Kara's office in tears, walked passed her desk, and ended up in Brainiac 5's office. "She hates me, Barney. I don't know what else I can do. If I do something right, it's not acknowledged. If I fuck up, she's vicious."

"So quit," Brainiac 5 said simply.

"Say what?" Luornu stared at him.

"I can find a girl that will take your job in literally five minutes," Brainiac 5 said honestly. "One who really wants it."

"I don't want to quit. That's not fair. Can I get an award, a certificate of appreciation, something?" Luornu asked. "I just figured in this communist utopia, it wouldn't be so competitive."

"But it's not a communist utopia. It's a militant meritocracy, and I determine performance reviews, not Kara. Oh, she can fire you as her assistant, but I make all the job placements. Once you're commissioned as an officer, an aide to the Supreme Leader, your quality of life quota is higher than two-thirds of this planet's population," Brainiac 5 said.

"Really?" Luornu asked amazed.

"You came from nothing and now you have everything you need and more luxuries than you ever had on Cargg. You're working for the Supreme Leader, the person in charge of a galactic quadrant. When she goes back to the palace after she gets bored with the Daily Planet, you will follow her there. You will be in the same room as galactic policy is decided. What Kara has managed to do to the galaxy is greater than art, because you're living in it," Brainiac 5 told her.

Brainiac 5 then showed her a hard copy of the Daily Planet. "Do you think this is just a newspaper? This is humanity's window to knowing themselves, their world, and their galaxy. There was a celebrity featured the other day. During his childhood days, he sneaked away from football practice to go to sewing classes and read fashion magazines at night under his bed with a flashlight."

"That sounds really queer," Luornu remarked.

"And we outed him. He's now seeking treatment," Brainiac 5 said. "You have no idea how many legends have been built up and torn down in these halls, but you don't care because all of this is so new to you that you have no attachment to it. Men have died for this civilization, would you? And you wonder why she doesn't kiss you on the forehead and give you a gold star."

"What do I need to do?" Luornu asked seriously.

"Don't just be competent. Show Kara honest and sincere affection. Show her that you love her, the civilization she built, and the people she protects. Then, you'll win her over," Brainiac 5 advised.


Luornu changed her whole attitude on things, started to know her job better, and her competencies exponentially increased. Kara kept giving her more things to do and Luornu accomplished them all. Above and beyond any human or alien, Luornu was turning out to be Kara's best assistant. Luornu also held her ground and trash-talked Kara to her face in private away from everyone else. Slowly, Kara started to bring Luornu to certain functions instead of Alex.

At a promotion board, several candidates were brought before her to run various departments. In the case of art, humans were given full authority as commissioned officers with minimal supervision from Brainiac 5. They were allowed to promote themselves so long as promotion slots were available up to the rank of colonel. However, in the oath, every commissioned officer supposedly had the trust and confidence of the Supreme Leader which allowed Kara to hire and fire officers however she wished. She also could intervene in promotion boards if she wanted to. All general ranks had to be nominated by the Supreme Leader and approved by the Senate.

The promotion boards were quite short as Brainiac 5 did all the work for her. Kara merely eyed the general candidates as if attempting to judge their souls. Kara never said anything during these proceedings. She would nod once if she approved, nod twice if she really really approved, smile if she really really really approved, shook her head for no, and the pursing of her lips for fuck-no.

After the promotion board, Kara was irritated. "I'm shocked and appalled," Kara said to Brainiac 5.

"I'll talk to them," Brainiac 5 assured her.

"You deal with it," Kara said dismissively and walked off

"So...because she pursed her lips, that guy isn't going to be a general?" Luornu asked Brainiac 5.

"Her opinion is the only one that matters," Brainiac 5 reminded her.

Luornu walked up to Kara as she went to her car. "Call my husband and tell him to meet me at...," Kara began.

"Dorsia, got it," Luornu said quickly.

"And I need a change of uniforms," Kara added.

"Done," Luornu told her.

"Fine, deliver my uniforms to my home tonight. Have Alex give you the key," Kara ordered.


At the office, Luornu was stoked. "I get to go to her house. That means she thinks I'm not a psycho."

"The psychos are her kids. She just trusts you not to get yourself killed," Alex rolled her eyes. "If you want to survive, do as I tell you exactly. When you let yourself in, you do not talk to anyone. You do not look at anyone. This is of the utmost importance."

Luornu arrived at one of Kara's townhouse apartments in Metropolis, used the key to enter, and then put Kara's black Supergirl uniforms in the closet. Curiosity got the better of Luornu and she started looking around the very nice townhouse. It was far more luxurious than anything she had encountered before. "Wow, this is what it's like to be the richest person in the galaxy," she realized.

"Got you, bitch!" a teenage male voice said as he sliced Luornu's head off with his sword.

Mara was instantly at Kon's side. "Kon, that's Mother's assistant," she told him.

"How was I supposed to know?" Kon excused himself.

"You could ask," Mara rolled her eyes.

"She's an intruder. I had to take immediate decisive Insane action," Kon said defensively.

"You're cleaning up this mess," Mara told him as she walked off.


The next morning, Kara called Luornu into her office. "I want the new Adventures of Supergirl Next Generation book for the twins," Kara ordered her.

"Sure, I'll go ahead and order it," Luornu said nonchalantly.

"Did you lose your head? We have all the published books already. The twins want to know what happens next in Season 6," Kara explained.

"You want the unpublished manuscript?" Luornu questioned.

"Is that a problem?" Kara asked.

"Err...no," Luornu winced.

"The twins leave for Midvale by 1600 so the book better be here by 1500, and I want my steak here in fifteen minutes," Kara ordered.

"No problem," Luornu said dismayed.


Shortly thereafter, a steak was placed in Kara's office. "No, I don't want that. I'm going to have lunch with Alex, and I'll be back at 1500. I'd like my coffee when I get back," Kara ordered. "And if you don't have that Adventures of Supergirl book by then, don't bother coming back."

By 1500, Kara returned and got her coffee. Luornu also presented to her a printed manuscript of Adventures of Supergirl Next Generation Season 6. "It's not complete," Kara said obviously.

"It's up to the present day. I'm not a Naltorian," Luornu excused.

"One copy? Really? What are my twins going to do with that? Share?" Kara asked skeptically.

"No, I made two copies. I had them resent and bound to look like a real book. I just felt this was more dramatic this way," Luornu said smiling.

"Where are the copies then?" Kara asked impatiently.

"They're with the twins now," Luornu said. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

At this point, Kara bit her lip feeling befuddled, flustered, and impressed arousal by Luornu's level of service. "No," she said softly. "That's all."


The next day, Luornu and Brainiac 5 were outside in Metropolis Park. "Thank you for saving my ass," Luornu said appreciatively.

"You hacked Kara's computer all by yourself. I only gave you a few pointers," Brainiac 5 downplayed.

"I still can't believe all the crazy shit Kara has done," Luornu said wide-eyed.

"Well, join the club because your life is about to get crazy, too," Brainiac 5 warned. "Let me know when your whole life goes up in smoke so I can record it."

"That's impossible. I will always have one life immensely enjoying herself," Luornu smiled.

"One of those lives is going to get a promotion soon," Brainiac 5 predicted.


At the office, Alex was looking sick. Her skin appeared to ripple up and down her body. Luornu couldn't help but stare as various proportions on Alex's face morphed until it went back to before. "I refuse to be sick. The benefit is tonight. With everyone leaving soon, you can go home."

"Sweet," Luornu said pleased.

Kara sent a text to them both contradicting that. "Shit," Luornu realized.

The two came before her in her office. "I need to know that both of you are prepped on who is on the guest list," Kara ordered.

"I thought only Alex was going," Luornu said confused.

"Yeah, no. For reasons that are obvious to everyone else but you, that cannot happen," Kara shut down.

"Can I talk to you alone," Alex requested.

"Leave us," Kara ordered Luornu away. Once she was gone, Alex turned to Kara. "Why promote me to first assistant if you're going to have your second assistant get all the spotlight?"

"You assume being the first assistant is higher. There was a time when I was the second assistant to a Siobhan McDougal. Soon thereafter, I dispatched her. So, sometimes being number two is better because I was number two," Kara explained.

"So, rank doesn't matter in this organization?" Alex asked incredulously.

"Don't be silly. Alex Danvers cannot be seen in public. You're supposed to be dead," Kara said obviously.


Kara and Luornu went to a royal party with all the important people of the world showing up to see her, and maybe even share a word with her. Kara wore her black Supergirl uniform as she greeted various people. She met up with the governor of France. "Your Majesty, fabulous event as always," he complimented her.

"I'm so happy you agreed to host the Galactic Federation summit in Paris," Kara said appreciatively.

"Of course, we've been planning the whole year for it," the French governor said enthusiastically.

"I'm grateful that's the case," Kara said giving him a fake smile.

Kara then encountered a random ambassador. "That's Ambassador Franklin and his mistress Rebecca whom he left his wife for," Luornu reminded her.

"Very good," Kara said, already having an encyclopedic memory.

Kara greeted the ambassador and made a mental note to sack him at the appropriate time. "So, if you know everyone here, why do you need me?" Luornu asked confused.

"It's a game I like to play with my subordinates," Kara said simply. "Why? Did you have something special planned tonight?"

"Not at all. I'm having a blast," Luornu said sincerely.


As soon as Luornu got home, she got a text from Kara to bring her uniforms to the townhouse. Soon thereafter, she was there on the spot with the uniforms. "Luornu, let's have a chat," Kara said from her living room.

"Coming," Luornu said as she came over.

"Paris is the most important event of the year," Kara said seriously. "I need the best possible team with me. That no longer includes Alex."

"Alex is your sister. Your whole life revolves around her, but I can totally step up," Luornu said ambitiously.

"So, it appears you are serious about your future," Kara said pleased. "I was about to fire and blacklist you."

"I've made my decision," Luornu confirmed.


The next day at the office, Kara did a reversal where she started treating Alex like shit instead of Luornu. Coincidentally, Alex got into a car accident requiring hospitalization and was absent from work. Kara sent Brainiac 5 to look after her condition but didn't visit herself which Luornu found odd. Kara then ordered Luornu to do the work of both assistants which she happily obliged.

Kara, Brainiac 5, and Luornu then went off to Paris for the Galactic Federation summit. On the first evening, Kara and Brainiac 5 had casual chats with various heads of state and ambassadors at the restored Palace of Versailles. Kara introduced Luornu as her assistant every so often before the state dinner. Afterward, everyone got drunk as fuck and loosened up.

Finally, Luornu went to Kara's suite to see if she needed anything. Unexpectedly, Kara looked like she had been crying and was an emotional wreck. "Is this a bad time?"

"We need to talk about the seating arrangement," Kara said. "I want my dog, Krypto, at my table."

"But your table is already full," Luornu pointed out.

"Mon-El isn't coming," Kara said somberly. "When we get back to Metropolis, I need to talk to PR on how to smooth this over."

"Are you two splitting up or something?" Luornu asked confused.

"Oh, no, he does this sort of shit all the time. He fucks with things that are important to me, I do the same to him. It's the same old story," Kara said dismissively.

"Then, why are you crying?" Luornu asked concernedly

"The fact that Alex isn't here...that she can't be here...reminds me of her death. That she's still dead, and I haven't fixed it," Kara said. "I had Yerra impersonate Alex to be my assistant for the last couple of weeks. She couldn't really say no because she was on probation and was tied to a terrorist and I'm the most powerful being in the universe, but she did resent me for it. I took away her life by making her be someone she wasn't. She should be here now as her true self."

"The point is...the point is...we really need to know where to place Donatello," Kara said, changing the subject.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Kara. I know how it feels to lose parents, siblings, your whole race," Luornu said sympathetically. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Just do your job," Kara replied.


Kara brought Luornu to an unknown promotion ceremony in the palace. "For one thousand eighty-four years, the Daily Planet has been more than just a newspaper. It has been a beacon of truth, justice, and the American Way. Kara Zor-El is the finest guardian of that beacon setting a standard that inspires people across the globe. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Kara Zor-El," Brainiac 5 introduced.

The crowd of editors, reporters, and staff clapped as Kara came up to the stage. "Thank you, my dear friend. Thank you very much for coming today even though it was required and I'd fire you if you didn't. We're here to celebrate Alexandra Danvers, my sister, who was once an intern at the Daily Planet long ago. But before we talk to you about Alex and her many accomplishments, I would like to share some news with you. As many of you may know, the Daily Planet will undergo aggressive expansion transforming this newspaper into a galactic brand which is a really exciting enterprise, I think," Kara began

"Alex and I shared many things in common, chief among them a commitment to excellence, and so it should come as no surprise that when it came to choosing my new royal aide for not just the Daily Planet but all other central government departments, I chose within the Daily Planet family. And it's my greatest happiness today to announce to you all that this person is my friend...and short-time esteemed colleague...Luornu Durga," Kara announced. "Come up here, Luornu."

Luornu gave a flabbergasted look as she stood up and came up to the stage. "I hereby commission you and promote you to the officer rank of aide," Kara said as she removed Luornu's old rank and placed the blue and yellow squared rank on her chest.

Kara and Luornu shook hands in front of the cameras. Luornu was now an O-1 commissioned officer and her orders carried the power of Kara's authority.


On the drive back, Kara and Luornu had a chat in the backseat of the limo. "You thought I didn't know," Kara said amused. "I've known what's been happening for quite some time now. The truth is, there's no detective better than me. I got the eyes of an eagle."

Luornu simply gave her an odd look. "But I was very very impressed by how intently you tried to hide it from me. I never thought I would say this, Luornu, but I really see a great deal of myself in you," Kara complimented.

There was a long awkward silence between them. "So...what the fuck are we talking about?" Luornu asked finally.

"Your queer ability to divide into several copies of yourself really came in handy. You were able to remain at your desk, run all my errands, and keep your boy toy happy all at the same time. No matter how many tasks I gave you, you always came through. I soon realized you not only could divide yourself into three but each one of those three could divide into three. And these weren't shadow clones or ghosts, but real flesh-and-blood creations. I have to tell you, it freaked me the fuck out at first," Kara revealed.

"I didn't have a choice," Luornu excused, suddenly panicked.

"Oh, no, you chose. You chose to get ahead. You want this life, you got to divide yourself into clones," Kara said simply.

"But what if this isn't what I want?" Luornu questioned. "I mean, what if I don't want to live this way?"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. Everyone wants to be me...except me," Kara said sadly. She then got out of her car, got ambushed by reporters, and headed toward the palace doors. Luornu got out of the car as well and smirked amused at being found out. Two copies of herself emerged from the main body. One Luornu headed toward her boy toy while the other went down the street. The main Luornu then followed Kara inside the palace.


Author's Notes: Every so often I like to point out how Kara is not coping with Alex's death healthily. I figured her forcing a Durlan to shape-shift into Alex as her assistant at the Daily Planet illustrated this point. Kudos if you saw through it quickly. Not everyone knows the comics, so I hoped the twist at the end worked. So, was Kara that demanding because she knew Luornu could divide into multiple versions of herself, or is she just a crazy boss, or both? And, of course, the lesson of Devil Wears Prada is completely lost in the sauce in this chapter as the protagonist can, indeed, do it all without compromising herself. Alex being an intern at the Daily Planet is a reference to the fic Midvale. The circle is now complete. When Kara left Cat Grant, she was but a learner. Now, she is the master.