5. So long as they don't frighten the unicorns (ONE-SHOT)
Notes for the Chapter: This collection is random, so I upped the rating to Mature, and this is one story that shows why that is.
For the first time in his existence, Harry James Potter knew what it was like to exult!
Life was brilliant. It was brilliant. Hermione was brilliant. Yes, they were both rather young, but regrets? None. Almost no sooner had he realised his feelings than they'd come together in a whirlwind. But right up until the previous night, he'd had absolutely no bloody idea.
And now, he couldn't hold it in any longer. He had to shout about it or burst.
So Harry Potter went deep, deep into the Forbidden Forest. It held no further terrors for him, he decided. Especially not today when he felt strong, powerful, confident, at peace, filled with energy!
The memory of the sight of an unclad Hermione, what it felt like to touch her. He'd never forget that as long as he lived. And now, he did want to live a long time!
"I did it!" he said aloud. "I put it in her! She _ed my _! Hermione was there _ing me! Hermione Granger! Smiling as she did it! And then I kissed her! All over! And then we did it! We really did it! We're not virgins anymore! I took Hermione Granger's virginity!" he said, almost yelling now. "Hermione Granger! Beautiful, lovely, loving, soft, tender Hermione Granger was under me! I put it in her! I took her virginity! Me! Harry Potter!"
He pulled up his robes and let his parts loose of his boxers. He grabbed himself and pointed at the side of the clearing where Hogwarts lay, somewhere beyond the woods. "We _ed!" he yelled. "We did it! I was her first! I scored her! She came! This _ was inside her! All the way inside her _!"
Then he absolutely screamed out: "I _ED HERMIONE GRANGERRRRRRRR!"
It echoed through the forest. All was well. No, it was brilliant!
So involved in his memories and his soliloquy was Harry Potter, that he didn't even hear Rubeus Hagrid, the gamekeeper and Care of Magical Creatures instructor of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, approaching with the first-year girl students of Hogwarts.
"Oughter be unicorns near this clearin'," he said. "Won' belabour the point, but its a good'un we ain't none o' us done what makes new brothers and sisters. You lot'll have ter ask your folks about that. It's what Grubbly meant when she like as not tol' yer olders that unicorns be wantin' virgins." But Hagrid suddenly noticed the chatter and giggling of the girls had ceased, entirely.
Facing them, not quite able to spot them through the thicket that obscured them in the bend leading to the clearing, but himself clearly visible through the branches, stood Harry Potter, dressed only in an open robe thrown loosely over his underwear.
"I did it!" he said, loudly. Then he said things about Hermione Granger that he oughtn't to have been saying, but Hagrid was, like the girls, too stunned to move or make a sound.
Harry's monologue about Hermione and what he'd "done" continued, then he suddenly dropped his shorts, took out his pointing part, and pointed it at the girls, gripping it firmly and waving it at them.
With that, Harry absolutely screamed "I _ED HERMIONE GRANGER! I _ED HER _!" which somewhat broke the spell. It was no good Hagrid trying to cover the ears or eyes of all the girls, there being almost two dozen of them.
Unconsciously, they'd all edged towards the clearing, and when Harry screamed, they were all visible at the edge of the little space. Hagrid must have made some noise, because Harry Potter suddenly came to his senses and stared.
Harry heard a twig snap and looked towards Hogwarts. There, beetroot red, was Hagrid, and the pale, shocked faces of what looked like all the girls in first year. He vaguely remembered Hermione and Susan Bones talking about Hagrid taking them out to look for unicorns, and today must be the day.
The wide-eyed girls were all looking at Harry. More specifically, they were looking down at a certain place on Harry. He was frozen in horror with his hand still holding himself, actually tightening his grip.
Harry remembered something else. The Gryffindor first-year girls were in the habit of sitting with Hermione at lunch every day, chatting freely and getting help with homework and fitting in and getting around the castle. They'll have some ... interesting questions for her today, he realised. His sight felt like it was growing dim. He wavered a little on his feet, which made him wave a little more at the girls.
Hagrid seemed to realise everyone involved was paralysed with shock. One by one, he turned the girls away and began herding them towards Hogwarts, without a word to Harry.
To the girls, all he said (in a rather subdued voice which Harry could make out nonetheless) was, "Don' think there'll be any unicorns 'roun' this part o' the woods."
Notes for the Chapter: I would argue the girls were taken out to find a creature that would point its horn at them, was shy and didn't want to be found usually, preferred girls to boys, was visibly fond of virgins, and, as Hagrid told them en route, had an unusual cry. So, happy ending?
