The Deal With Hallmark
Pointless fluffy nothing involving Hallmark movies. Patty forces Loki to watch Hallmark movies and other stupid romantic cinematic "marvels".
Also all the movies I mention in this story are real. If you need a good dose of cringe, just look one of these up. Most of them are on YouTube
Also, Odinsdottir, I just made that up about the doorbells. Though I do have a reason for it that I will talk about later in the series. And I totally agree with you about the smut/violence. I may write some very, very minor angst in the future, and maybe a little bit of violence, but not that much, since I really hate to put any of these characters through too much agony. And also I am REALLY bad at writing fight scenes. Something that the MCU is apparently not averse to doing…
Yet another proof that I do not own anything. If I did, all the characters in the MCU would get happy endings. Well, not all of them, but most of them.
Loki POV:
I knew it was a bad idea. So why did I continually agree with it? I just could not for the life of me resist her begging voice and pleading eyes.
So that was how I found myself roped into weekly movie nights with the Spider-Child. And she always chose the movie.
What in the Nine Realms have I gotten myself into?
This is worse than the time I cut Sif's hair…
Patty POV:
"OK, Mr. Loki! You ready?"
"No."
I grinned and turned on the TV. "Don't be so glum, this will be fun! I've got the perfect one to start with!"
I started one of my favorite cringy Hallmark movies, Unleashing Mr. Darcy.
After ten minutes or so it began. Mr. Loki's tirade.
"This is just like Pride and Prejudice, but with far too many dog shows."
"Why is he talking so unnaturally? No one speaks like that!"
"And let me guess, the gingers are unspeakably evil."
"Why does she dislike him so much? He is not even rude, as he was in the original novel!"
Finally the movie ended. I sighed happily. "Wasn't that so sweet?"
"You mean sickening." He muttered. "And next time, I select the movie!"
Nope. No way. We hadn't watched nearly enough mushy romance! I begged, pleaded, whined, and finally he relented. I'd still get to choose the next movie.
And I had the perfect one in mind.
Loki POV:
"Brother! Where are you off to, so late in the day?"
I held the phone a good arm's length from my ear. Thor had not yet realized that one does not need to shout into these devices in order to transmit the sound.
"Why should I inform you of all my doings? I am simply existing, I assure you I have no mischief planned."
It would be a fate worse than death if he found out about the movie nights. I would never live down the shame.
"But, brother, if thou art not busy, I was wondering if…mayhaps…"
"Thor, for Asgard's sake, stop speaking as if you live in some bad Shakespearean production! You already dress like a homeless person, you don't need to sound like a drunk Theater professor as well!"
"Thy words have value. I shall correct my speech post haste."
I sighed. He'd never learn. "Anyway, why are you calling? You barely know how to operate a coffee maker, much less an iPhone."
Silence on the other end. Then some shuffling. "Well, brother, the truth of the matter was that I desired greatly to spend some time with you…"
"Not now. Later. I am busy."
"But the Spider-Child said I would be welcome at your movie gatherings if I"
"WHAT?! SHE TOLD YOU?!"
"…Aye. Is there trouble?"
I hung up. The end is near. The apocalypse has come.
If Thor knows, soon everyone will.
But I still came.
She'd be disappointed if I did not.
Patty POV:
I waved excitedly at Mr. Loki. He looked less that thrilled.
"I'm getting vibes." I whispered.
"Why did you tell Thor."
I blinked. "He really wanted to spend some time with you. I though this would be a good way to do it. You seem to avoid him a lot"
He sighed deeply. "I had to spend more than a thousand years in his company. You do not know what it was like."
I smiled. "Well, I'm sure one movie with him won't kill you."
"Depends on the movie."
So we settled in, Mr. Thor with a huge tankard of mead (where did you even buy that stuff?), Mr. Loki with a cup of tea and a suffering look on his face, seated as far as he could be from Mr. Thor, and me. With the biggest bottle of Coke they sold.
I started the movie. It was a cute little period drama romance called Running For Grace.
Mr. Loki kept quiet, which I was really surprised at. But just when I thought I'd be able to get through a movie without interruptions, it happened.
Mr. Thor…reacted.
"By the Norns, this is heartbreaking! Will not the two young lovers be allowed to be with one another?"
"Art her parents truly going to force her to wed the rapscallion masquerading as an eminent physician?"
"NAY! Say not that the Kindly apothecary was most foully murdered!"
I swear he started to tear up. Mr. Loki rolled his eyes and sighed. "Thor, calm down. It is merely a movie. It is not real."
Mr. Thor ignored him and kept on randomly spouting stuff and occasionally crying. It was really embarrassing. The movie finally ended, to my great relief.
After, I asked Mr. Loki "Was it like that?"
"Yes, but more so."
"Oh. Poor you. But I'm still inviting him to movie nights, sometimes."
"Then at least let me select the film."
So there. Nothing.
Also…how does everyone feel about a crossover between this and Dune…any thoughts? 'Cause I just saw Dune 2 today and now that's all I can think about.
This story has truly taken over my life.
Review and suggest! Tell me what you think about the (potential) Dune crossover! Or if you have any suggestions for crossovers!
