Ottery
St-Catchpole
5524 Rods
"I give up," said Hermione Granger, 11. She and her family, and a younger boy named Harry Potter, were in a car driven very rapidly by her father. They were off to meet a pen-friend of Hermione's for the first time in person, a girl named Luna, in a small village in Devonshire (Although Hermione's generation called it Devon). For some reason, looking at the road sign for Ottery St-Catchpole, where Luna and her family resided, made her slump in her seat.
Her father had driven them in a tear since they had rescued Harry from some awful relatives in Surrey. They'd gone south to the Grangers house and collected Hermione's dolls, based on a gut feeling Hermione had, so she was the guilty party in her father's speeding. They had covered what should be a four-hour trip, even using M3, in around three-and-a-half hours. Unfortunately, that meant they'd arrive just in time for dinner, a dreadful imposition.
To the surprise of everyone who got out of the car by the walkway to Luna's house, the girl had run out to meet them, and was waiting while they debarked and Mr Granger had the bonnet up, checking the radiator. She immediately hugged Hermione, and waved cheerfully at Harry. Hermione was grateful for that, as Harry, for the most part, did not like it when other people touched him.
"Father's made dinner, so we should go in," Luna said. "Mother's working on her spells ..." she looked at Hermione with a serious expression, "... in the kitchen where Father can see her." Hermione's face must have registered concern, just thinking about what she'd read, because Luna patted her hand. "Everything's just fine, Hermione. You can't order the world, you know. That's what my grandmother always said."
Now that Hermione could get a look at her, she was a very pretty girl, about Harry's age. Her slightly bulgy eyes reminded Hermione strongly of Selene, the shopgirl at the curio shop in Holborn where she occasionally bought extremely rare magical objects. So much so, they might be related, she mused. She had what looked like radishes made into earrings, and a necklace of wine corks. Her bare feet were tanned and a bit scuffed up, and she had a couple of bits of leaves in her hair.
Before they knew it, they were all seated around the dining table in the Lovegood home, which was built like a single castle turret, or a chess piece. "I suppose you've come to enlist our aid, as a quid pro quo?" Luna's father, Xenophilius asked, as he served them all soup, salad and bread. Everything was so fresh, it had clearly all come out of the Lovegoods' garden.
Hermione, Harry and the Grangers all looked at each other.
"Don't misunderstand," Luna's mother Pandora said. She had a sandwich and a bowl of soup filled only halfway so she wouldn't spill it, and was still perched on a stool by her work desk. "We realise your letter was mainly meant for Luna's sake. She's going to be your friend, that much is clear."
"We simply hate it when things aren't said, and then later, people say 'you should have said.' So we say them," Xenophilius explained. "We have a little more than your word about the danger involved. A relative who's gifted in Divination confirmed you were likely correct. But that raises another question: if you believe someone's trying to do my wife in, or she's incompetent to the point of being dangerous, why would you come here and risk being bystander casualties? The two adults can't do magic, and you other two are too young to defend yourselves. I'm only curious."
"Remember, my husband is a journalist, first and foremost. If he doesn't know something, it annoys him. Me too, in my field, I suppose," Pandora said. She smiled as Harry and the Grangers all turned and looked at Hermione, who blushed.
"I like not knowing things," Luna observed, breaking the silence that had ensued. "But you don't always get what you want, so I find myself knowing things whether I wish to or not!"
Pandora was humming to herself, meaning she'd tuned out everyone else and was thinking of her project. Xenophilius took up the gauntlet. "We've also noticed you've gone out of your way to avoid the Weasleys, either visiting them or even mentioning them. The Diggorys as well."
"Cedric and Ginny are nice, you needn't shun them," Luna said.
"Well, Luna," her father said, after a pause. "That's true. However, their families have something in common. I think that's the reason they're being avoided. They're both a kind of servant to the man who runs Hogwarts school."
Hermione nodded her head at that.
"Is he not a nice man, Daddy?" Luna asked.
"Well, he pretends to be, but no, he's not nice. Useful, yes. Quite often. But no one who's truly seen him for what he is would ever use the term 'nice'."
"Like your father and 'sane', Luna," Pandora said, with a bit of laughter in her voice.
"Or your mother and 'careful'," Xeno riposted. But they smiled at each other.
"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure," Luna recited. "Oh, that reminds me. Hermione, would you like to guess some riddles with me? The prize is a cursed ring that makes you old and evil without dying and lets you sneak around and strangle your friends."
"Luna!" Hermione said, scandalised by her blasphemy. But the effect was ruined, since she couldn't even get out her name without laughing. Harry looked puzzled. "It's a book, well, books, Harry. I will give you my copies to read, and you'll understand." She then turned to Luna, and said, "I don't mind, would you like to start?"
"Because it can produce a few notes, though they are very flat; and it is never put with the wrong end in front!"
the girl responded.
Well, first of all, it wasn't a question. Or even a question-like classical riddle statement, because none of them started with "because". Second of all. Second of all, it seemed somehow familiar. Third and worst, her mother's expression suggested she knew the answer. Well, the new Hermione didn't stand on pride.
"Is it all right if my mother guesses, Luna?" she asked the girl, who nodded excitedly.
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
Mrs Granger said, tentatively. Luna nodded. It was only then that Hermione noticed Mrs Lovegood had started looking at a tabloid - upside down. Perhaps that was a motif with the Lovegood family.
Hermione cleared her throat, then said:
I talk, but I do not speak my mind
I hear words, but I do not listen to thoughts
When I wake, all see me
When I sleep, all hear me
Many heads are on my shoulders
Many hands are at my feet
The strongest steel cannot break my visage
But the softest whisper can destroy me
The quietest whimper can be heard.
Luna clearly thought for a while, then ventured, "Is it a mummer?"
"Luna," her mother said, "when they make sounds, it's what, darling?"
"Oh, an actor?" Luna guessed, and before Hermione could tell her she was correct, continued, "I was fooled a bit by not speaking their mind - that's not at all the same as not speaking. And mummers don't snore. So am I right?" Hermione nodded.
My first displays the wealth and pomp of kings,
Lords of the earth! their luxury and ease.
Another view of man, my second brings,
Behold him there, the monarch of the seas!
Hermione almost thought Luna was tailoring that to her, but she piped up with "Courtship!" anyway. Then again, maybe she likes Jane Austen, too, she thought. She looked over at the girl and smiled. "Does Luna know any languages?" she asked, looking at her parents in turn.
"French and German," said Xenophilius. "She can read Latin," Pandora added, "and get by in Mermish and the goblin language."
"I really want to listen when Harry talks ..." Luna began, but a stern look from Pandora cut her off. Harry and the Grangers just looked puzzled. Hermione guessed she did too.
Nevertheless, she continued, "I think these have been too long for the Ravenclaw door, so how about a short riddle in German?"
Mein erster ist nicht wenige
Meine zweite ist nicht schwer.
Mein ganzes Ding
gibt den Sinn
Es ist möglich und nicht mehr.
"Hmm," said Luna. She looked so cute and adorable while pondering, it made Hermione nervous. After all, Luna and Harry were closer in age than she was to Harry, and she'd probably be an excellent girlfriend. Unlike all her other potential rivals, she decided, honesty was the best policy with Luna. She'd find some way to ask outright if they were rivals for Harry, and go from there. You never won a race by giving up, after all
"Viel ... leicht ... oh! Vielleicht!" Luna said. "Alright, one last short one, then I'm tired."
There is a house. One enters it blind and comes out seeing. What is it?
"Harry, would you like to guess? I guarantee you, if we end up in Ravenclaw, they will ask this one. It's a guarantee," Hermione said.
It was a good sign that they had rescued Harry in time that he still thought of
"A school?"
as a place like that, even with all the bullying he'd experienced.
With that, Luna fished out a gold ring and handed it to Hermione. "Here," she said, "you can look it over, and share it with Harry."
The ring was cooling the air around it when Hermione palmed it. She felt it heat up and twist a little as she started to put it on her finger, but stopped. "Can I see it?" she heard Harry ask.
In a way, they were calling her bluff. She knew quite a bit about magic in a theoretical way now, but she didn't know any charms to discover the secrets of the ring. She would have to simply trust Luna couldn't be consciously evil, so she nodded and gave Harry the ring.
"Weird, Hermione, it's cold but when you put it on, it's warm ..." she heard, as Harry slowly faded away. Hermione sat there, stunned.
After a bit, she heard Pandora laugh. "I kept my wand under the desk and subvocalized the incantation, so it wasn't hard," Luna's mother said.
"Oh, was that what that was," Hermione heard the air saying. "It felt like someone cracked an egg above my head."
"Go ahead and take it off, Harry," Luna said. Hermione watched Pandora closely. Her wand was out and not moving. She shifted her gaze back and forth between her and where Harry was, as he faded back into view.
"I like it when you're thinking, Hermione," Harry startled her by saying. "It's nice. It's ... cute, I guess?"
At that, Xenophilius laughed. She'd forgotten there was another magician in the room!
"Please," she found herself saying, "teach me things!"
"Not right now, Hermione. You, yourself pointed out it's tricky for me to do my work and stay safe at the same time. If I have to also watch over a beginner doing things, that's dangerous for me and them both. If you died, who'd watch over Harry?" Pandora asked.
Hermione's eyes shifted to Harry in a panic, but it seemed from his expression he didn't mind her watching over him.
"IF things settle down, and AFTER you've proven yourself at Hogwarts ... Maybe?" was Pandora's final declaration.
"She's a born researcher," Luna interjected. "Have her research things."
"That would be fair," her father agreed. "We tell you things about the magical world, things you are not to repeat, and you are our dogsbody for finding out things that take a lot of work."
"And we'll help you learn, but not what you might want to learn, you're too young," Pandora said.
"On behalf of the Lovegoods, is it a deal?" Luna asked, extending her hand.
"It is," said Hermione, shaking it. Then, "Oh! Before we leave, I brought our dolls, would you all mind looking at them? But not," she said, looking at Pandora apologetically, "in a way that could harm them. Think of them as more like a child, and less like a crossword puzzle."
Mr Granger went out at that, and came back a minute later with all seven dolls.
Mr and Mrs Lovegood immediately cast spells over them that made them glow in different colours. "Nothing harmful," Pandora assured them. Then she asked, "they aren't ... alive, are they?"
Hermione went with her stock answer. "They're close enough that I think it'd be a rude question to ask them," she replied.
"Good answer," Luna said. "Although, there's plenty of living things I'd still ask about that."
"What do they do?" Xenophilius asked.
Hermione pondered that.
"Can you get us a Hogwarts textbook? Something second year should do," she asked. "And something from third year for me."
She asked her dolls to make notes from the third-year text, and asked Harry to have his dolls do the same with the second-year's. "You might want to cast spells on me and Harry, too," she volunteered.
Her rather blank expression, as Pandora pondered the situation, was identical to the one the shopgirl in the curio shop usually adopted. They could be sisters, Hermione thought. Her dress was worn, but lovely. The textbooks were dog-eared and scribbled-in. Clearly, the Lovegoods put function over form preferentially.
"The dolls are draining the girl, she must have more magic than she looks to have," Mr Lovegood observed.
"But the boy's dolls - it's unclear where they get theirs from," agreed his wife. "His are leaping around, drawing conclusions out of thin air. Then they have to backtrack when they reach a dead end."
"Hers are quite systematic, but much slower," Xenophilius said.
"May I?" Luna asked Harry and Hermione. They both nodded, and Luna hugged all the dolls in turn.
"There's a good deal of her pain and sadness in them," Luna said with a sigh. "And something of her, just her, as well. Yet she gave three pieces of herself to Harry." Addressing Harry, she continued, "The names of your dolls are 'cause Hermione's teeth used to be bigger, and her hair was too bushy, people thought. And if she talked about magic, they called her Loony, like they call me. And kids were really mean to her."
"I think you fancy him, Hermione. Are you worried about me taking him from you?" she suddenly asked.
Hermione had promised herself she wouldn't lie outright, and Luna didn't ask many open-ended questions, so she nodded. Harry looked deeply shocked.
"Well, don't. You're the best person for him, even if you don't tell him everything, or even a lot. And I'll fight anyone who disagrees." With that, Luna put out her hand again, and again, Hermione shook it.
"What about the shop, though?" Hermione asked.
"Well, my wife can't go there, so we rarely will, out of solidarity with her," Xenophilius explained. "Her and Selene having a conversation could be catastrophic."
"She wouldn't be able to stop herself, and we'd all be in trouble," Pandora added. "I've seen pictures, she's a very sweet-looking girl. It's a pity."
"Ah," Hermione said. "Well, I mentioned it because they gave me Harry's dolls, and my dolls were the ones who suggested passing them to him."
"As true as that is, Hermione, your dolls are still you, magically and spiritually, so it was still your decision. You were just talking to yourself," Pandora said.
"I don't understand," Harry said, "what fancying someone means."
"It means that right now, she thinks of you as a good friend, Harry," Mrs Granger said.
"Well, yes. I don't have any other friends, and even if I did, she'd be my best friend," Harry replied. "But I still don't get it."
"My wife said right now, Harry. Right now, she thinks of you as a good friend. But in the future, she wants you two to be boyfriend and girlfriend," Mr Granger said, a bit nervously.
"What does that mean?" Harry asked
"Well," began Mrs Granger. "Hermione's father and I were friends, then we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We went on walks together, we held hands a lot, we hugged a lot, and eventually, we kissed each other."
"Why did you do it, though? What was the point?" Harry asked.
"It was fun?" Mrs Granger said, "We enjoyed it? Mr Granger was very special and important to me."
"Anyway, Harry, after we'd been boyfriend and girlfriend for a couple of years, we got married, and then we had Hermione," Mr Granger said.
"Is that the point? Does Hermione want to get married?" Harry wondered.
"Since you're both so young, I think she'd settle for the walking around, holding hands and hugs," Mrs Granger observed with a smile.
"Well, I suppose I could get used to her hugging me. It's not my favourite thing, but if she's doing it, it's not as awful," Harry decided. With that, Hermione found herself involved in a handshake for the third time that evening.
"So," Harry said, "did you come help me so I'd be your boyfriend? I don't mind, I guess, but it felt nice that you just cared about me, because no one else ever did."
"Harry," said Hermione, mortified, and she could hear her voice choking a little, "do you remember what Mr Lovegood asked when we came here?"
She let him think about that. After a bit, he said, "I think he asked if you sent a letter to Luna to help the Lovegoods so they would help you. Like, you were trading favours."
"Yes, Harry. And Mrs Lovegood said she knew my main reason was to save Luna from losing her mother, because I knew Luna, but not her mother, but I also knew the Lovegoods could help both of us."
"You won't tell me how you knew Luna when you never met her, will you?" Harry said, looking at her with slightly narrowed eyes.
"No, I won't. It's not a vow or magic preventing me. I just think it's a bad idea," Hermione admitted.
Surprisingly, that seemed to satisfy Harry. "It's better than if you lied to me, Hermione. You really seem to like me a lot, and you spend a lot of your time worrying about me. I think you knew me without meeting me like you knew Luna. Is there anyone else like that?"
Hermione thought about it. "There probably are," she allowed. "Erm .. one of them I want you to help instead of me doing it, if that's okay, when you're in a position to do so. His name's Neville. After your parents died, you were supposed to live with him. You were supposed to be raised together. He's kind of like your brother, only not."
She looked over at her parents, who were obviously just as curious as Harry. "And your mother and father loved you so much they died sheltering you. Don't believe what the Dursleys say. As for me?" She paused.
"You were #1, and Luna was #2, and the rest are just 'save them as I can,' I guess," Hermione said. "Ahem." She thought about it, and continued. "There is one other person that's vital. Neville can survive on his own until we go to school. But you need this other person a lot, Harry."
"Sirius Black," she heard the Lovegoods say in unison. They looked at each other and laughed.
"Harry," Mr Lovegood said, "like Neville is your brother, Sirius is your father."
"Bad magical people killed your parents, they hurt Neville's parents so much they couldn't raise you, and they put Sirius in a prison guarded by demons so he couldn't raise you. You've been treated terribly by the magical world," Mrs Lovegood said.
"Come back and visit again," Mr Lovegood said. Only then did Harry and the Grangers realise how late it was. "Is this weekend acceptable? For lunch?"
"There's a wonderful cafe in Ottery St-Catchpole," Mrs Lovegood said. "You have to hide Harry, but you'd be surprised how little it takes to disguise him."
"My dolls are supposed to help me disguise him," Hermione said. "That's what your ... the shopgirl at the curio shop said."
"Sadly," Mr Lovegood said, "you shouldn't even ask what relationship Selene and Pandora have. Don't mention Pan's name to her, or vice versa. It's simply a bad idea."
Luna hugged Hermione again, and Harry let her hug him, too, after she promised it wouldn't make her his girlfriend.
With that in mind, when they arrived at #4 Privet Drive, Mr Granger used a key they'd forced Petunia to give them, let the boy in, and Harry and Hermione went up to the room quietly, bringing the dolls.
"It's okay, Hermione," he said, as he was about to close his door. "But there's going to be absolutely no kissing."
