Regina had been trying. Trying to be a better person, mother, for henry. To raise him right.
To make him happy.
If that means she has to go to therapy and spend time with Emma so be it.
She talks to the grasshopper about her feelings, how she wants to become a mother Henry deserves. He asks what example her mother gave her.
She shuts down briefly, her mother? Her mother killed her first love! Her mother was never satisfied with what she did. Her Mother forced her into a marriage she didn't want!
"I don't ever want to be like her. No child deserves to have a mother like her." Archie frowns. He could have guessed that would be her answer.
Even so, it's utterly heartbreaking. Rumplestiltskin once said, Evil isn't born, it's made.
Despite being wrong about a lot of emotional issues the imp was right then. "So you have a good idea of what you shouldn't be. You can use your mother as a guide of what to avoid."
Regina takes a minute to process his words. She kneads at a growing headache.
"Why does parenting have to be so complicated?" Archie barks out laughter.
"Well now Mayor Mills, you're trying to raise another human being! I should hope it's given all your effort." She blinks.
"How am I supposed to deal with Emma? He loves her! I feel like he'll leave me for..." A single tear falls down her cheek.
Archie hands her a tissue sympathetically. "Communication, I recommend you bring this up with Emma and Henry. If they understand how you feel you can collaborate on solving those issues. You know Henry loves you, he has enough room in his heart for two mothers. I'm sure he would tell you that too." Regina wipes at her face quietly contemplating his words.
"What if they think I'm weak for feeling that way? What kind of mother would beg her child not to leave her for his real mother?" Archie sighs.
"A mother who has had bad experiences. You have lost people, emotionally and otherwise. Your mother was an abuser, she crushed your understanding of how to have a healthy relationship. Your mindset was shaped by her. From what you've told me the best influence you had was your father. Ask yourself how he was good as a parent?" The Queen looks out the window, trying to remember her father.
"He always supported me..He tried to help me. He..cared so much..." Her voice cracks, more tears fall down her cheeks.
He supported her in all her plans. He tried to heal her. He..he let her...kill him. Her only real parent died because...
Archie watched solemnly as Regina sobbed. He's sure the imp would have a similar experience. Those who hurt, are hurting.
Regina drives home in a bit of a daze, her mother abused her? She asked for more and more and more. She didn't want or like what Regina gave her...but she abused her?
She opened the door to her house and met with her son and The Sheriff making cupcakes. Swan immediately took notice of her dried tears.
Henry happily ran up to his adoptive mother to give her a hug. "Welcome home mom, me and Emma made cupcakes!"
She hugged back loosely.
"I thought it would be nice to have a Mom and Mom day, I hope you don't mind." Swan awkwardly shifted.
"I get to spend the day with both of my moms! We can watch movies and eat cupcakes and-" Emma shoves a cupcake in his mouth.
"Don't overwhelm her kid, she was out all day. Give a second." He nods taking a bite of the cupcake.
This is a trick. Some kind of hallucination. Why is she being so nice? Considerate? Caring? Regina tried to kill her multiple times. She can't just...be nice.
"..what-What movie are going to watch?" This is a comfortable trick. She can play along.
Henry guides her to the couch where various foods have been prepared for the movie watching event. "Barbie Fairytopia, I thought we'd have more fun watching something un-fairytale related. In case it brought back any...bad memories."
Regina felt that she would likely never be as good as her son. She'd have to do her best.
By the end of the movies considered non-fairytale related, Henry was fast asleep, so was The Sheriff. It would be so easy to get rid of her right now-
Why was she thinking that??
Killing Emma would make Henry hate her, what's wrong with her?? She got up as fast as possible without waking the two. She ran to her bathroom.
She turned on the faucet filling the tub with calming scents.
She sat next to bath watching it fill up, letting the sounds of the water and smells washing away her hard to handle emotions. She was ashamed to need this to calm down, she used to do this for Henry when he was younger. She's not a child..
But this helps a lot.
She was knocked back into reality by the door creaking, Emma was standing there.
"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. I was worried you fell asleep by the bath..." She scratched her head nervously.
Worried?
"You looked like you had a rough day. Uh..it seemed like Henry had a lot of fun today." She smiled lopsided, just as unsure how to be friendly with Regina as she was with her.
"...I had an appointment today." Emma's eyebrows shot up.
"Oh. Uhm, did it help?" Regina laughed without humor.
"Helped me see I'll never be a good mother..." She didn't mean to say that. Blame Archie and his insistence on communicating.
But then Swan's hand was on her shoulder.
"If you'll never be good enough, neither will I...maybe if we combine our...power we can get close enough." That's..
Stupid. Just the kind of absurd belief that Henry would have.. She gently wiped a tear from her eye.
"Crap-that was dumb. I-shit-uh." Emma panicked trying to get up to leave but almost falling. She only didn't fall because Regina pulled her back down.
"Combine our powers? For Henry, you think you can handle working with The Evil Queen?" She smiles, determination shining..like Henry.
"I'm The Savior, whatever that means, I was born to handle you." She winks.
Regina and Emma spend the week together-with Henry.
Occasionally dealing with the odd, You're evil and can't be anything else! Which Emma would respond with, That's bullshit, if that were true no one would be good!
Regina had this feeling, like because nothing bad was happening now, because she's happy. Something terrible would come to destroy it.
Spending time with Henry made it less but it would come back when she was alone.
She thought about going to Rumplestiltskin about it, he's not the healthiest person though. "...Emma?"
She felt childish. Asking for help.
"Yeah, what's up?" Her and Swan were sitting together in her kitchen.
"Do you ever get this sort of dread that..because your happy something's going to ruin it?" The Sheriff looks up from her paperwork.
"...Yeah. Being..in the foster system was pretty rough. A lot of people just want the money they get for housing an orphan, and that stops at a certain age. Too many of them don't care about the kids..they don't take care of the kids. Or worse. Growing up like that made being happy and comfortable feel..wrong? Like it wasn't normal." Oh.
The Queen felt even worse. She hadn't even considered her childhood. Gah! Why is this so hard??
"If you need to talk about this you should schedule another appointment with Archie. I mean..I'm not a professional." She's right. The annoying Grasshopper is surprisingly insightful in these situations.
But for some reason. She would rather talk to Emma.
"I don't see why this can't work. All he ever does is talk to me. We're doing that." This makes her giggle.
"You know, you can say if you want to talk to me more?" Regina blinks, does she?
She wants to talk to Swan, more than a therapist..oh. That's...new.
"I can tell you how I deal with it. Not sure it'll work for you, uh, we can research other methods." She practically pushes her paperwork out of sight.
..It's not so bad to have someone to talk to.
"Regina. Shouldn't you let Emma have some time alone with her son?" She had barely spent a second in the dinner, Snow had to be there.
Why couldn't she leave her alone? She's not done a thing recently.
"You've been including yourself in their time together a lot recently. Maybe you should give them a break." She can hardly breath.
It's not like that. We..they agreed to it. I'm not bothering them. Regina is enveloped by a cloud of red smoke.
She reappears in her room, falling to the floor, her breathing is scrambled. Her heartbeat hurts. She can't focus. She crawls towards her bathroom.
She's not sure anyone's home.
She prays her son isn't home. Her vision is getting darker, her limbs are starting to get stiff. She's becoming increasingly concerned she's dying.
She gives up on turning the water on with her hands, she uses her magic.
The water is hot. It almost burns, the smell is...it's Emma's soap.. She blinks, her vision begins to return to normal. She breaths deeply.
Practically drinking the air.
What was that? She summons her phone to her hand, she's about to call Archie but she stops, does she want to call Archie?
"Sheriff Swan, what's the problem?"
"I couldn't breath. I have no idea what just happened." Regina hears something hitting the ground over the phone.
"Ar-Oh crap! You-What happened?"
"..Your mother asked me to..leave you and your son alone." There's a long sigh from the sheriff.
"Hhha, let me deal with that. Tell me what exactly happened?" Everything...?
"I..after she said that I teleported home, I still couldn't get any air, every time my heart pulsed it hurt, my vision was getting dark..I was worried I was dying.." She takes a look at her bathroom, there's no visible evidence that, that happened.
Feels like she was bleeding out.
"I think those are called...uh, Panic Attacks. They were something like, your brain not responding to fear correctly?" Fear?
SnowScared Her..? No, her words. What they meant. That scared her.
"Oh.."
"So I hear you experienced a Panic Attack. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Do you want to talk about what triggered it?"
Regina hugged herself lightly, having that reaction made her feel weak. Broken.
"Everyone's favorite Queen Snow told me to leave Emma and her son to themselves." She tries not to sound pissed. Tries.
Archie brings his hand to his forehead and breaths long and deep. "I see. Okay, give me some time."
Is it that hard to believe?
He drags his hand down his face adjusting his glasses. He sits back up. "Alright, you were told that what's been making you feel comfortable is causing Henry and Emma distress. Am I wrong?" Regina had not looked at it like that.
"..She implied I was causing problems..." Archie nodded.
"Which in the past mean terrible things would happen. So you associate being called the problem with pain. But you know that both Emma and Henry enjoy your company, right?"
..Associate being considered the problem with pain?...
"If you need to, you can ask them if that's true, although it doesn't sound much like Henry to fake enjoying something does it?"
It doesn't. Henry would probably climb out a window if he hated being with me, he did before. Him and Emma.
"You don't think this panic attack is going to become more common do you?" That could lead to my death. During a battle. I can't let that happen.
"Ah..probably not. If it does, I can help you find ways to deal with it. Drugs, support, coping mechanisms, maybe you could look into magical methods. But that's only if they become common." So it's unlikely..
I'm using magic if it becomes common, I won't let my mind control me.
Regina is spending the day caring for her apple tree.
"How did it go?" She nearly falls onto the concrete. The Sheriff catches her, they both breathe for a bit.
"I..should have said something..to announce myself. My bad." She has her hands around my waist.
"I should hope that wasn't a weak assassination attempt, I'm work far more effort than that Swan." We both grin, trying to hold back our laughter.
"Oh don't worry~ I'd make it worth your while." We're essentially hugging, from an odd angle.
"You'd better."
We both crack up, snorting, chuckling, and wheezing. I think this would make my father happy.
