Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you know that I am on Facebook and Twitter... FB: Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps or through the Fifty Shades of Grey FanFiction Group page... on Twitter it is Perhapsperhaps1 Please follow and Friend! I look forward to talking with all of you more!

Ok, this chapter was very hard for me to get down on paper... so i hope you guys enjoy it and understand that it fits into the bigger frame work of the story...

Also I have been getting a lot of great review how you guys like the direction i am taking Ana and Christian. Thank you for that. I wanted to write a different kind of story where their realtionship was more equal, there was a balance of power ( which is necessary for a healthy relationship) For that to happen Ana and CG needed to have things happen to them causing a change in who they were at their core, their fiber... so for CG it was Leila sucide and for Ana it is what you are about to read... I am really looking forward to your reviews on this one.

Also, I don't plan to ever go into any kind of detail about what happened to Olivia, that is not the kind of story I want to write... so just wanted to let you guys know that I was not going there. I want to write about her future not her past...

Thank you all for reading...

XOXO PPP


Ana and I were sitting in the kitchen quietly eating breakfast. She still was being cold and somewhat distant out our earlier argument, but she didn't stop me from rubbing her back as she ate her toast and she did kiss me on he forehead when she walked around to put her plate in the sink; much to Gail's chagrin.

Ana was a huge question mark. I could not dominate her, I could not make her do anything she didn't want to. I could not control her moods, her feelings, her body and I wanted to. I wanted what was safe and familiar, but that would get me no where. I had to fight and resist myself and my mind and in that there was an element of control.

I wanted to tell her everything, I did but somehow I couldn't. I wanted to tell her about my mother and the man with the cigarettes, about Elena and the subs. I wanted her to know me really know me but I worried that if she knew all the details that somehow she would want me less. And I couldn't live in a world where Ana didn't want me.

"Mr. Grey."

"Yes Taylor?" I could see on his face that something was amiss, it went unnoticed by Ana and Gail and that is what was important.

"Can I speak to you in your office please?" I nodded, and then smiled at Ana telling her I would be back in a little while. I followed Taylor into my office and sat behind my desk. He hesitated to speak, which was not like him.

"Well?"

"Sir, Welsh found a video on Hyde's laptop. A video he made of Ana that night in the hotel room." His words ran through me head, pounding in it. My entire body tightened, wishing Hyde was in front of me right at this very moment.

"Did you see it Taylor." He gave his head one firm shake, and I knew it was bad. "Show me…" He came around the desk and opened the file on my laptop. Ana appeared on the screen.

She was smiling and happy, her arms full of papers and files, as Hyde stood behind her.

"Ana, did you have a good time tonight?" He took off his jacket as he spoke, his voice low and menacing.

"I really did Jack, thank you so much for bringing me here. I have always wanted to come to New York." She was so innocent then, even more so then when I met her. He had taken that from her.

"Good very good, you got what you wanted and now I should get what I want." Ana turned to him, confusion in her face. There was not even a chance for her to react, he swung back and slapped her sending her flying backwards and the papers scattering around the room. Taylor and I both growled at the impact, and he had already watched this once. I grabbed the arms of my chair, trying to keep calm. Ana screamed for him to stop as he pushed her on to the bed and slapped her again.

"You little whore, thinking you could walk around wearing this dress and being all sweet and cute. Teasing me." He tore the strap of her dress and pulled down her bra, exposing her breasts. It was in this moment I knew Ana had not told me everything. And the fear began to take hold.

"Jack, please… It doesn't have to be like this…" She pleaded, trying to trick him. Smart move, but he wasn't going to fall for it.

"It will be exactly how I want it." With that he ripped off her panties and threw them to the floor. My head was screaming no… over and over again. She fought and kicked, trying to stop him and then she cried out, and I knew his fingers were inside of her.

"Well, well… you're not a whore after all… You're a fucking virgin aren't you Ana. I am going to enjoy this more then I thought." The night of our first date played over in my head, and now it became clear to me why Ana reacted the way she did when I questioned her virginity. Why she has been so standoffish with me and why she was so opposed to my red room.

I could hear her crying, despite the string of hateful things Jack was saying. He finally leaned down to kiss her, and that is when she made her move. She bit his lip, and kneed him in the groin. He doubled over in pain and fell to the floor. Ana scrambled off the bed, trying to cover herself and then kicked him in the groin again, a smile on her face as he howled out in pain. She then kicked him in the stomach and ran out of the room.

It took me a moment to regain my composure as I slammed the laptop closed, I slammed my fist in the table once and then again. Ignoring the pain. I was rabid, enraged and just as mad at myself as I was at Hyde.

"Sir, if it goes down to day. I will take care of Hyde." I raised my eyebrows and shook my head no. Taylor put his hand on my shoulder. "Christian, if you do it… you will kill him. I am just the right amount of angry… I will kick his fucking ass but he wont end up in the hospital. You on the other hand are in love with Ana and will send him to the morgue. And Hyde will win…"

I took a deep breath and unclenched my fists, keeping my thoughts focused on Ana and what she needed. She needed me strong and present and there, not in jail.

"Fine, let's go I don't want to waste anymore time."


"Ana, you omitted a great deal of information. Why?" The tears were breaking the corners of her eyes and falling from her cheeks. Her entire body shook, I went to wrap my arms around her but she just pushed me away, pushing at my chest. I gasped at the impact of her hands and tried to keep my composure.

"Don't touch me Christian. Don't." Her voice was so desperate, I had never heard her like this. Her not wanting my touch scared me. "I just didn't want you to know and the fact that you saw it… and you too Taylor… Please take me to my apartment…"

"Ana, stop this, let me hold you…" She recoiled at my words and slid as far away from me as possible. "Taylor take us to Escala."

"Taylor, I want to go home…Please…"

"Ana, baby. Escala is your home now…ok…" She finally looked me in my eye, and I watched her fall apart. She curled her legs up on the seat, and wrapped her arms around her body, silently crying as she stared out the window. Taylor and I caught eyes in the rearview and he nodded as he made his way home to Escala, the one place I knew I could keep her safe.


We walked into my bedroom and it was filled with boxes and bags from high end stores all over the city. Ana looked at the briefly, uninterested in their contents. She slipped of her shoes and laid on the bed. I crouched down beside her, she wasn't crying anymore but she just looked hollow and broken.

"Baby this should be a happy day, Hyde is gone and you are going to be working for Peyton Forbes. I wanted to make you happy."

"It did, it does… but what if there was a video showing you at your worst moment, and the person you loved watched it. The person who's opinion mattered most…" I thought about all the worst moments of my life, there were so many to choose from and then I imagined Ana having to sit and endure through them. I understood now…

"Ana, it does not change a thing, not how I feel about you, not how I want you… You have changed me Ana…in a few short days, everything is different because of you…Please baby let me hold you…" She slid over just a few inches and turned her back to me, knowing I could hold her any other way. I slid on the bed, my knees tucked behind her knees my arms around her, I sunk my face into her hair.

"I just pretending like it didn't happen, I put it in a box. I hid the bruises under makeup… I didn't even tell Kate the full story… I just told her he kissed me and said some mean things when I told him no… If no one knew then it didn't really happen…"

"Ana, I am sorry that he did that to you… I understand now why you don't want… what I offered you… my playroom…I get it… and I am sorry baby… it won't happen again."

"Christian you and Jack are nothing alike… what you want and what he did are not the same things…" Hyde and I were exactly the same, we like to beat little brown haired girls into submission and fuck them. Cut from the same fucked up cloth.

"Let's not talk about this now, we have a little time to rest and then we need to head over to my parents and meet Olivia." She nodded and snuggled herself against me, I held her tighter making a silent promise to keep her safe.


The house had never been so quiet, even Mia was like a little mouse; sitting on the sofa next to Elliott and Kate. We were all waiting for them to arrive. I was nervous and anxious, they were running late and it was only adding to the stress of an already stressful day. Ana still looked sad, Kate saw it too and had tried to figure out what was wrong. Ana said everything was fine that she was just tired, and maybe coming down with a cold. Kate didn't buy it and pulled me aside asking me what I had done. Kate had balls if nothing else, I could see how she and Elliott were a good pair.

The door finally opened and my father walked in first with Flynn, they smiled at the group of us and then mom appeared with a small girl at her side. She was beautiful, long curly brown hair and deep green eyes, that were wrapped in sadness. Her left arm was in a purple cast and she still moved like she was in pain. She huddled at mom's side but she was careful not to touch her. Olivia saw me first, our eyes locking and I knew in that moment she was my family. I cocked my head and smiled, lowering my self to her stature, on my knees.

"Hello Olivia… I am your big brother Christian." I turned slightly and pointed to Elliott. "An that over there is your brother Elliott, and your sister Mia." The both got off the sofa and were standing behind me. Mom and Dad standing behind her. "They tell me you don't really want to talk right now… That's fine… I didn't talk for a long time either… Sometimes talking is too hard…" She nodded and then looked around the room, wonder in her eyes and I smiled.

"Olivia, are you thirsty?" Mia asked "Do you want some juice?" Olivia nodded and Grace lead her to the sofa as Mia went to the kitchen. Everyone's words and movements were measured and accounted for. Nothing sudden nothing too loud.

Kate had joined Ana off on the love seat under the window, their hands linked together; quietly watching. Occasionally they would whisper to one another. Ana didn't take her eyes off of Olivia, she was as enchanted as the rest of us.

It had been quite the day, everything had gone to hell and still there was no one dealing with more then this child. I had yet to be apprised of the details, but I knew it was nothing good.

Hours later, after dinner was eaten and dessert was had in Olivia's honor we were all back in the living room. I was off in the corner with Mom, Dad and Flynn learning the horrid details of Olivia's recent past, Mia and Olivia were sitting in the floor coloring, Kate and Elliot were in the kitchen talking and Ana was back on the love seat under the window looking defeated. But the was a quiet bubble surrounding us all, there was peace there.

"It is important that Olivia feels safe, that is all that matters now." Flynn spoke quietly, in hushed tones. "Christian, I know you want to fix her, it is your way but she has to fix herself with all of our help. What she has been though will take years for her to work out. She is just very lucky that she is surrounded by all of you."

"She reminds me so much of you Christian, fragile but strong willed, she is a fighter. I knew the moment they brought her into the ER she was going to live. She had that look in her eye."

"It's the look of a child that knows too much mom. Have the police made any strides in catching t he guy that did this?" My father nodded no and my mother was silent.

"Its been over three weeks, I doubt they will find him now."

"I want the detectives name, I want to put my own men on it." I couldn't stomach the thought of men like Hyde and Like whoever did this to Olivia out there. Not that I was much better, but I never forced a woman to do anything. I never wanted it like that.

All night Olivia kept looking in Ana's direction, they would share a smile or a playful look. We all had noticed. It was the only time all night that the light was back in Ana's eyes. It happened so quickly, Olivia stood up and made her way to Ana's side, sliding up on to the love seat next to her.

"You look sad…" Mom's head whipped around at the sound of Olivia's small voice.

"I am sad Olivia…" Ana answered her honestly and my heart broke. "You look sad too." Olivia nodded.

"You look like my mommy… She had brown hair like you and sad eyes." I could see the tears well up in her eyes, My mother was silently crying as dad put his arms around her. Mia stood and joined in our little corner. Even Elliott and Kate sensed there was something special happening as they appeared in the door way.

"My mommy died and then this man hurt me…" Olivia bottom lip started to tremble.

"I know… You know what always makes me feel better when I am sad… Hugs… Hugs make it all better…" Ana opened her arms and Olivia practically jumped into them, sitting on Ana's lap. My heart was beating out of my chest as it hit me, Ana was a magnet for damaged souls. We were all drawn to her like flowers turning to the sun. And I knew that Leila was right, life wasn't worth living with out love.