I don't think I will ever get used to the idea of having Taylor drive me around, the idea of having Gail cooking me breakfast. I don't think I will ever be comfortable with Christian's money and status. It is an unimaginable about of wealth, when Kate was doing research for her article (God that seems like a lifetime ago) I remember her telling me that he makes over one hundred thousand dollars an hour. An hour! That is crazy, stupid money.
So for now I am sitting in the back if Christian's Audi, Taylor silent and stoic in the front seat driving in the rain through Seattle traffic. I want to pepper him with questions about Christian, there are so many things I want to know, need to know but I know that Taylor would never answer a single one and I guess that is a good thing.
We pull up to the Grey's mansion, it looks even larger and grander in the daylight and you can see where the old house ends and Elliott's ambitious design begins. He integrated it well, but I can see his flair for the dramatic and contrast. Taylor opens the door and holds an umbrella, I can't help but chuckle that this has become my life. If there would have been a puddle I could imagine him laying his jacket down. He walks me to the door, until I am shielded by the oversized portico and nods before he turns to walk away. There is something going on with him and I can't put my finger on what. I can't imagine how hard his job is, being on call all the time, risking your life. Trying to find a balance, when your life becomes all about another person and then with Gail.
The door opens and Grace greets me with wide open arms, embracing me. I have known her for only minutes stretched out over a few days and yet I feel like I had known her forever. She is open and warm, she smells of comfort and home and I understand how she was able to raise three exceptional children because she is an exception person.
"Ana, thank you so much for coming. Olivia has been giddy in wait…" On cue I can hear her scurried footsteps as she yells out my name throwing her body at me. I lift her up in my arms and she wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.
"Ana… I have missed you." She whispers in my ear nuzzling my neck and my heart smiles.
"I missed you too monkey." She pulled her body away from me, looking at me intently cocking her head to one side and then without warning kisses me on the cheek. Grace and I lock eyes for a moment and she smiles and nods her head in approval. "Did you get any sleep last night?"
"I did… I slept with Grace and Mr. Cary…it was nice…"
"Good I am glad…Come on I am starving…Want to make pancakes?" She nods her head with fury and the three us make our way to the kitchen, Grace's arm draped over my shoulder.
"So… Tell me, Grace how is she doing, really doing?" Olivia is sitting Indian style on the floor, eating a plate full of pancakes watching My Little Pony, she is laughing and happy, all sticky hands and wide eyes.
"Well, last night was rough. She was just screaming and screaming. When we got to her she was almost like in a trance and then she looked at her watch and jumped off her bed looking for you. When the room was empty she just broke down all over again. It was heart wrenching. She wouldn't let me or Cary hold her. Christian was like that too, only he didn't scream and cry, he would self soothe and keep it all in." I imagined him waking in the night alone and afraid, I felt a chill run through my body. "I am taking leave from work, at least until the summer. We need to get her in school and in a routine but she is not really ready yet. Flynn is going to start seeing her three days a week and then we are going to get her playing an instrument. That worked wonders for Christian."
"He plays?"
"Yes, the piano. He plays very well actually, concert level." I remembered seeing a large black grand piano in his apartment and made a mental note to ask him to play for me.
"I didn't know that. But I guess there is a bunch about him I don't know."
"You will learn Ana. I can see the change you have made in him. He has never brought anyone around; he has always been such a loner. But with you… he looks so happy. I can't remember the last time I saw him smile. I am so grateful what you have done for him and now for Olivia." I turned my eyes back to her, still laughing eyes fixed on the TV.
"I promised that we would spend the day together. But now I am not sure what we should do." She sipped her coffee for a moment and I dug into the plate of pancakes before me, I really as starving.
"Well, she needs some clothes and toys. It's been a very long time since I have had a child roaming these halls. Why don't you take her shopping? I have to run to the hospital and finish up some paperwork and charts before my leave starts. You would actually be doing me a huge favor."
"That's a great idea."
"Let me go run and get you some cash, there is this children boutique on Main that has the cutest things. Taylor
knows where it is." I frowned, I was thinking like the sale rack at The Children's Place at the mall maybe TJ Maxx. "Something wrong Ana?"
"No, I just was thinking like the mall or Target."
"Well you could do that too but I know this is new to you, we have a great deal of money. Sometimes I forget… I want her to have the best of everything. When I think back to what she was brought in to the hospital wearing." Grace shuddered, and shook her head. "No, Ana I will give you my credit card. Spend what you wish, anything she wants. I don't want to spoil her but I think she deserves a little bit of indulgence."
I took the black Amex and slid it into the pocket of my jeans.
"Do you think I will have a problem using it?"
"I will call ahead… You should be fine, if not call me."
"Monkey let's get you dressed, we are going shopping."
The trunk was full of pink and purple bags, over flowing with adorable clothes and tissue paper. The rain had finally stopped and Olivia was yapping away and singing along with Adele the radio about setting fire to the rain. It was startling that she knew every word, every key change. Grace was right; music would be her answer too.
"Taylor…"
"Yes Olivia?" He had a bemused look on his face; it was quite the change from his usual stone faced façade.
"I am hungry, can we go get Chris and some lunch?"
"That is a really great idea Olivia. What do you think Taylor?"
"I think Mr. Grey would like that very much." Olivia squealed with joy.
"You know what…Olivia, I have a daughter about your age…her name is Sophie…" he said her name wistful, with a hint of hidden sadness. I wondered with the demands of his job how often he was able to see her.
"You do?" She was saying out loud what I was thinking. Taylor had a daughter.
"Yes, I do…I will bring her by one day… you can put your new tea set to good use."
"Is she nice?" The whole tenor of Olivia's voice changed, and fear set in.
"Of course…very nice…"
"Oh…Ok."
"Monkey, were there kids that were not nice to you?" She didn't answer, but she looked like a shade had come down as she stared out the window. "Monkey?"
"No… I just didn't get to play with other kids…what if she doesn't like me?"
"That is not possible. You are sweet and funny and very pretty. You and Sophie are going to love each other. Right Ana?"
"Right!" She thought for a moment, twirling a long strand of her hair.
"She could be my friend?" And then it hit Taylor and me at the same time. Olivia never had a friend, a child her own age to play with. I knew from Christian she hadn't ever been to school and that she was not able to read, so it made sense that friends would have been scarce.
"Yes… she could be your friend…" She nodded gently, the idea sinking in her head and then she smiled.
"A friend…"
Olivia was wide eyed as we walked through the lobby of Christian's building. The glass and metal and the sheer scale of the place were awe inspiring, I still found myself look upwards as I walked through. We finally made it to his floor and walked down the long marble hallway to his office.
"Hi Andrea. Is Christian available?" The cool blonde had warmed substantially since our last meeting and smiled as we approached.
"He is in a meeting right now Miss. Steele. Let me tell him you are here…" She picked up the phone. Watching Olivia and I, and then handing Olivia a palm full of M&M's from the bag on her desk. Olivia looked at me before she took them and only after I nodded that it was ok. Her thank you was barely a whisper. "Mr. Grey, Ana is here to see you. Go on in Miss. Steele."
Olivia shoved the last few candies in her mouth and reached her arms up, a silent request for me to carry her. She was so small for her age, so light so under fed and under loved. I knew she was scared, his offices were intimidating to many a business mogul I could only imagine what Olivia was thinking. I hoisted her up on my hip and made my way to his office.
I was shocked to find that he was not alone, there was a tall thin blonde headed woman sitting on the sofa. She looked at me under her hooded eyes and false lashes and I felt like I was being weighed and measured.
"Well this is a nice surprise." Christian walked around his huge desk and was quickly at my side. He kissed me gently and then rubbed his hand over Olivia's curls. She squirmed away from me and snaked around Christian. It was a welcome relief from her pulling around my neck and I really loved watching them together. He whispered something in her and she giggled.
"Ana, Olivia… This is my friend Elena…"
"Elena, this is my girlfriend Ana and the newest Grey Olivia." I still got this thrilling feeling every time he referred to me as his girlfriend, just another thing that I would never get used to I guess.
Elena slinked off the sofa and sashayed her way over. It was only close up that I realized that she was a great deal older then she appeared but she was stunning none the less. Her lean frame was draped in black head to toe, an expensive bag on her arm and the razor sharp blonde bob gleamed.
"Ana, it is very nice to meet you. Christian has spoken so highly of you. And Olivia… aren't you a pretty little thing, I can see why Grace was unable to resist you." She made me uncomfortable; she was like a neon sign flashing COUGAR. She reminded me of a villain in a Disney film. I could see she made Olivia feel the same way, because she turned her head away from her and climbed higher up and Christians body. "Darling, I have to be off but thank you for your advice as always."
"Of course Elena. Call me if you need anything else." She nodded and reached out giving his forearms a squeeze and in that moment I knew she was one of the fifteen, my heart dropped to my stomach. I watched her walkout of his office; her six inch heals clicking away.
The air in the room shifted once the door was closed behind her, all three of us visibly relaxed. I bit my bottom lip in an effort to stop myself from asking Christian who she was. He raised his eyebrows silently asking me to stop, the desire in his eyes making my heart race.
"So what brings you two here today?"
"Grace sent us to do some shopping…" He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "And Miss Olivia here wanted to come and get you for lunch."
"Lunch… That's a great idea. I have been so busy today… I forgot that I was hungry." He draped his arm over my shoulder leading us out of the office. "Andrea, push back the rest of my afternoon, I will be back at three."
"Of course Mr. Grey."
"So you went shopping… What did you ladies buy?" Olivia rambled on, telling him in great detail. Every dress, every toy. His patience was unbelievable as he hung to her every word, asking questions. This is what it could be like Ana… a family… My subconscious whispered wearing a trench coat and fedora under a street lap, on a fog covered street. I exhaled sharply at the thought, pushing the idea out of my body along with my breath.
