It is the sound of my phone ringing that wakes me, I reach out to the night stand and look at the time, and it is three forty in the afternoon. The room is still dark and I know that Christian is not in bed with me. I can feel his absence, his heat, his breath and I have never felt so lonely in all my life.
"Hey Kate." My mouth is so dry that it hurts to speak. I ease my body up to a sitting position and feel the soreness and frustrating want in my core.
"Ana…how are you? I mean you were out of it last night I thought he like drugged you or something."
"Kate, that's silly. I am fine… it was just a very long night."
"Yeah, well that remains to be seen… Do you still… you know live here with me cause I haven't had a roommate all week." I can hear the sadness in her comment and not only am I a shitty girlfriend but I fail as a best friend too.
"Of course I do, I have just… Yes… I do…"
"Good! Come home tonight… I am craving your enchiladas…I have talked them up so much Elliott is craving them now too." I laughed realizing her real intentions, Kate would never change.
"Ok… I will be there in a little bit… the recipe is on the fridge. Why don't you and Elliott get all domestic and got to the market… If I am going to cook the least you guys can do is the shopping."
"Deal! How does six sound…"
"Perfect…"
I take a long shower, dress in jeans, a v-neck sweater and my new Hunter's rubber boots. I take a few extra minutes to blow dry my hair because I can tell just by looking out the window it is cold. I pull a navy pea coat out of the closet and rip the tags off with my teeth. I feel like shit, like complete and total shit. I am still shell shocked from the callous way Christian punished me last night, so much so that my mind hasn't really dealt with the fact that he fucked me twice, once in the club and once in his bed without kissing me and then using my orgasm as weapon. I felt dirty, the kind of dirty that not even a long shower could wash away. I also felt empty and confused. Nothing made any sense and I didn't know what I was supposed to do to fix the mess I had made.
I wanted to call Jose and see how his flight went and see if he is ok. Our good bye could not have been easy on him either. And despite the drama and heartache it has caused me Jose is still one of my very best friends and nothing, not a wayward kiss or false protestations of love will ever change that. But I can't call him, not now while Christian is in an earshot. The fall out would be too great.
I grab my bag and walk through the long empty hallway to Christian's office, I can her him on the phone and his voice is strained, fierce and if I am being honest a little scary.
"Flynn, cut the crap and tell me what I can do… That is what I am paying you for god damn it…She cheated… yes she did…I told her I loved her… I let her touch me and she cheated…" I can feel the tears well up in my eyes and I wrap my arms around my body. I know I shouldn't be listening but I can't move my legs to walk away either. He is silent for more than a minute and I know he is just listening. He exhales loudly and runs his hand through his hair. "She is the most…important thing to me… I am not treating her like a whore! Do you really think she feels that way? Fuck… just fuck…I can't… I can't kiss her… because she betrayed me… because I am a stubborn stupid asshole… It's not that easy Flynn and you know it…Fine… yes… Monday at seven… I will see you then…" He hang up his phone and bangs what I can only assume is his fist on his desk. I stand there a minute letting my brain absorb all that I have just heard, working up the nerve to walk into his office. I take a very deep breath and run my hand over my hair, willing my legs to move.
"Excuse me… Christian." His head whips around at the sound of my voice and I feel my knees go weak at the sight of him. His hair is a haphazard mess, hours of running his hands thought it. He has not shaved and the dark stubble adds more definition to his strong jaw. He is in a grey wife beater, darkened by his sweat and I know he has just had a very strenuous workout but I see it has done nothing to temper his anger.
"Yes Ana." His voice is even, and I know he is trying.
"I just wanted to let you know that I am heading out…" His eyes widen in surprise and he stands up suddenly. I can see the outline of his erection through his sweatpants and I swallow hard, trying to pull my focus back up to his eyes. "Kate called, Elliot is coming over and we are going to…uh… cook…dinner together…"
"Ah I see and I am not invited to this little dinner party?" He crossed his arms against his chest and slowly walks over to me like he is the lion and I am the gazelle. He is inches away and I can smell him now an earthy mix of man and sweat and sex. If I am breathing I can't think and then to make matter worse he puts his hands on my shoulders.
"Ana are you ok? Last night… was not one of my finest moments… We were supposed to talk this morning…"
"I'm fine… its fine…I understand why you did what you did… your point was well made…as ever… And if you want to come feel free…" His eyes narrow as his runs his hands from my shoulders to my cheeks and again I think he is going to kiss me but he doesn't. Instead he takes a step back and sits at the edge of desk.
"I need to shower, can you wait?" It almost five, I was leaving early anyway not sure if I was wanted here or not.
"Um, sure…"
"Convincing… I will be right back…" He stands and as he walks past me he kisses my forehead briskly, his kiss burns my flesh and I wish I would have just left without telling him I was leaving.
I am back in my kitchen and for the first time in a week I feel like my old self. I am chopping onions and peppers, grating cheese and it feels good. This is who I am, the girl who cooks Mexican food and hangs out with her friends. I am not the girl in a gown hanging on the arm of a millionaire.
"Hey kiddo you need some help in here." Kate appears with a margarita in hand and a huge smile on her face. I have never seen her this happy before, Elliott has brought out a new side to Kate's already full personality. I watched them tonight with envy. They were so as ease with one another; they touched and kissed without preamble or hesitation while Christian and I sat there barely able to look at one another. I was hiding in the kitchen on purpose, taking my sweet assed time.
"No I am good Kate… go enjoy your man…"
"I would rather enjoy my best friend for a bit… how are you doing? I mean last night was crazy…Jose… wow…"
"Have you heard from him?"
"Uh, yeah… he called to see how you were… I lied and told him you were fine…"
"How was he?"
"He lied and said he was fine…" She held her glass out to me and I took it gratefully, enjoying a long sip. "How are things with you and Mr. Grey… because where I am sitting chilly is the word I would use…"
"Horrible… he won't kiss me…He will fuck me but he won't kiss me…"My voice starts to crack and she urges me to take another sip.
"That low down son of a…ARG!" Kate is pissed, and I smile at my fierce friend. If I only had her balls, what a different Ana I could be.
"I know I fucked up Kate… I know I did… Kissing Jose was wrong for so many reasons… but I can't fix it… if this is how he is going to treat me… like…"
"Like a whore… he is treating you like a whore…" I nod as she reaches out and wipes a tear off my cheek.
"You ladies need some help in here." Elliot and Christian appear in the door way, and I can tell that it was Elliot's idea to join us.
"Grey you are on my shit list…" Kate points her finger at Christian and Elliot burst out laughing. "This is not fucking funny Elliot. You think that you can treat my friend like crap because she made a mistake? How many mistakes have YOU made…What the big deal she kissed a friend…actually HE kissed HER! It's not a big deal… she didn't cheat on you… and you are making her feel like a whore!" I can see him cringe at the use of that word and I can't help it my inner goddess is rooting for Kate.
"This has nothing to do with you." His voice is stern and I know he is only being this calm because she is Elliot's girlfriend.
"If it has to do with Ana then it most certainly has to do with me."
"Kate…" I realize that this is going too far and that I need to put an end to this before it ruins their chance at ever becoming friends.
"No Ana don't…You know Ana is a good girl… you know… what happened with Jose is only a big deal because you are making it one… I mean it was a kiss… just a kiss… hell Ana and I have kissed before." I gasped out her name, in complete in total shock. As a drunken college dare comes back to haunt me. The room went dead silent like she had pulled a pin out of a grenade and threw it on the floor. Elliot smirked as the thought flickered through his mind and Christians eyes burned with grey fire.
"It's not a big deal… see…" And before I knew what was happening Kate turned and grabbed my face crashing her lips into mine. The blood started to rush into my ears, a loud pounding as she forced her tongue into my mouth, my lips parting and sucked on my lower lip. Her arms snake around my body pulling it right up against hers, I felt like a deer in the headlights, frozen. I could taste the lime and salt on her lips as she pulled away, swatting my ass and then turned her attention back to the guys. "Now you have watched her kiss two of her friends this weekend… get over yourself Grey."
My eyes widen not believing what is happening. It was like watching train wreck in slow motion. Kate's mouth on Ana's mouth, Kate's arms wrapped around Ana's body and then to ass insult to injury she smacks her ass and Ana yelps out. I am furious and completely fucking aroused. I am not sure who I want to take over my knee more.
"Holy fucking shit that was HOT!" Elliott nudges my arm with his shoulder, his eyes fixed on Kate who looks like the cat who ate the fucking canary.
"Shut up Elliott." He opens his mouth to speak again and I glare at him with such intensity that he quickly closes it. I smile that my Dom mode even works on my older brother. Ana's cheeks are fifty shades of pink and red, and she is biting her lower lip with such intensity I wonder how she has not broken skin. She refuses to look me in my eye; instead she stares down at her feet.
"Kate… you have some fucking nerve… I don't know who the fuck you think you are…"
"Hey Christian, calm the fuck down that I my girl you are talking to…"
"I am well aware, which I is the only reason I have not taken Miss Kavanagh over my fucking knee…" Her eyes grow wide with shock, then horror and finally anger.
"Like that would ever happen Grey!"
"Ana is my girlfriend Kate… and I fucking love her… so yes having to sit and watch her kiss another man has caused me some… pain… what if you had to watch Elliott kiss another woman… regardless of the circumstances…" Her entire face changed, as my words resonated in her stubborn irrational head. "Would you be so willing to forgive and forget?" Her silence is her answer and I know I have won the battle but not the war.
"It's still no excuse treating her the way that you have…"
"No you're right… it's not…" I feel the shame wash over me, as I look back at Ana. She has not moved and the way she is standing reminds me of a sub position. "Ana…"
She looks up her bright blue eyes lined with red, and she raises her eyebrows when they finally meet mine.
"What Christian… What?" I extend my hand to her, silently asking her to take it, I breathe a sigh of relief when she does, her small delicate fingers wrapping around mine.
"Would you excuse us for a minute…" Kate's eyes immediately go to Ana's looking for a sign that she is ok. I see how strong their bond is, I believe that Kate would take a bullet for Ana and vice versa.
"It's ok Kate…" She reaches out and gives her hand a quick squeeze and then allows me to lead her to her bedroom. She closes the door behind us and leans against it, her eyes closed like she is waiting for impact.
"Is she right… did I make you feel like a whore." Her eyes remain closed and she nods only once, her confirmation feels like a stab to my heart.
"Baby, that was never my intention… I mean… I wanted to punish you yes… to make you feel how I felt…"
"I know…"
"I forgive you… Ok… it's done… a bad memory… we will chalk it up to inexperience on both our parts…I think we both made a much bigger deal out of this than necessary…" Her eyes finally open and she smiles.
"You think? Thank you… I couldn't bare you being so angry with me…" I make my way towards her, pressing my body against hers; she moans and arches her hips towards mine. I lift her arms over her head and pin them against the door. I run my nose along her neck, breathing her in until I reach her ear and I gently clamp my teeth on the tender flesh of her lobe. "Christian…" her voice is strained and husky and she grinds her body against mine, I smile knowing she is still frustrated from last night.
"You know how fucking hot it was watching you kiss her..." I use my free hand and pull her chin so that she is facing me… "Do you?"
Before she can answer I crash my mouth to hers, reclaiming what is mine. What will only ever be mine. Her lips part and I slip my eager tongue against hers, tasting her once again. She is eager and hungry for my mouth as she kisses me back with equal ferocity. Our mouths moving together like waves crashing against the surf.
There is aloud pounding on the door, and we both jump at the sound. We are both panting wanting needing more.
"Hey are you guys fucking in there because I am hungry?"
Ana giggles, and it is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.
"Fuck off Elliott…" I holler back in jest. I quickly press my lips to hers once again and she smiles broadly. "Come on… a hungry Elliott is good for no one."
Angie... That little girl on girl was my homage to your lemon-tastic story!
