Ok guys... A few things tonight...
First off, I am thrilled that ya'll liked the last chapter... I was on the fence... but we needed some comic relief... and Kate was just the girl to do it... I was LOLing whilst writing... so i had my fingers crossed you guys would too...
Second... I have this idea for a third story swimming in my head... there are a lot of CG cheating stories but none with Ana cheating as far as i can tell... I spent some time on my week off finally reading some stories... there was a lot of not so good but there a few gems out there... Yes I am talking to you Fifty Shades of Taylor... effing brilliant... Fifty Shades of Crossfire... HOT! So I don't know how I would carve out time for another story... but the idea wont leave my head and it is hot... let me know if you guys are interested...
Third...And I want to draw attention to one special story that I am giving an official shout out to... It is called It Happened One Night... by Forever Divine... It is a Teddy Grey story... but it is very special... The writer is still in her teens and I am in awe by her skills... so you all should check it out... follow/review... and be nice you pesky "Guest" whoever you are...
I am also plugging Darkness and White... Just started posting "Part Two" Some of you have mentioned that 80+ chapters seem like a lot... but some of the chapters are 250 words... when you get into the story you will understand why... so if you are not reading it... give it a shot... I am inching to 200 followers... so close...
Thank you all for reading and reviewing...
XOXO PPP
My stomach is in knots, twisting and turning and I am wishing I would have forgone that second enchilada and the brownie. I blame my fucking period; it has always kicked my ass. The pill helps but it is still soul and energy sucking. My back is aching, I feel bloated and my head hurts, like a marching band it doing drills on my cerebral cortex. And to make matters worse, adding insult to whorish injury I am still well for lack of a better word…Horney because Christian left me hanging. I mean who does that?! Apparently Christian Grey, that's who and why wouldn't he? There is a line of women just waiting if I wasn't here, an interstate full of taller, thinner, prettier more experienced women, with submissive tendencies just panting in expectation. Yes Master whip me. Yes Master tie me up. Yes Master…Yes Master…harder…faster…ARG! It plays like a loop in my head over and over, my subconscious telling me that I am not good enough, that he will find some else, some one more suited to his… needs. Someone like that horrible Elena Lincoln woman, Elena DeVille is more like it...
The rest of dinner was uneventful, but uncomfortable. Kate kept giving Christian dirty looks, and Elliot kept making subtle and not so subtle Sapphic comments. I had to resist the urge to laugh, Kate kicking me under the table and each chuckle just fueled Christians brewing anger. I kind of felt bad, we are all having a laugh at Christian's expense but he took in in stride and even threw out one or two zingers. Sure they were snide and not funny but it was something. It was a relief when Elliot kicked us out so he could fuck his bi-sexual girlfriend without an audience. Kate wrapped her arms around me as we were leaving, holding me a little longer than necessary and whispered something very dirty in my ear making me blush. Christian must have heard because I grabbed my elbow pulling me out of her grasp.
Christian was driving, his eyes focused on the road, Ray Lamontagne coming through the speakers, his haunting raspy voice lulling me in to a trance as my head bobbed along. He reached across my lap and took my hand is in his. Every so often his lifted our joined hands and brushes my fingers and wrist against his soft warm lips. I can't help the jolt that runs through my body or the yearning that is building in my core and I can't help imaging his lips brushing other parts of my body.
But then I remember the last few days and I can't help it, I am pissed. I know I have no right really, I kissed Jose… I know… ok I get it… but even Christian admitted to over reacting. I mean I know that I deserved some sort of retribution but no, actually… I don't… we are in a relationship and I made a mistake… A mistake that I willingly fessed up to… I didn't lie… There is no retribution in relationships. At least I don't think there is, being this is my first relationship and all.
I feel like Christian and I are at a crossroads and I have to decide which way we are going because on Monday he is going to be my bosses bosses boss and the potential fall out is well… unthinkable. We need rules and what the fuck did he call them… hard limits.
"Christian…"
"Yeah baby?" He takes his eyes off the road for a second and looks down at me, a chesterfield cat smile on his perfect fucking face and I know what is on his mind. Damn it. Why does he have to look like that? I can feel my cheeks flush and butterflies in my belly (or maybe it's just the brownie)
"We really need to talk…" His face changes for a split second and then he nods. "I just… I mean…things have gotten really intense between us…I think we need like some guidelines or something…"
"Guidelines?" His raises his eyebrows and thinks for a second. "I don't know what you are trying to say right now Ana."
"Rules I guess we need some rules…"
"Such as?" I can see his body tighten, his back stretches straight as a board and his jaw is tight, even his grip on my hand tightens. My fingers go numb and I pull my hand away from his, shaking them out.
"Err, well I mean… I don't live with you…I live with Kate." He exhales loudly, and I can tell he is exasperated.
"Ana, we have been through this… you are safer with me… your apartment is treasure map of security flaws. Taylor was appalled…With this Jack Hyde thing unresolved and the fact that you are my girlfriend and I am a billionaire. Well it makes you a target." When was Taylor at my apartment? Now I am appalled and a target for what?
"But…"
"No, no buts… I will have your things moved tomorrow."
"See this is what I am talking about. You can't just make unilateral decisions about my life…MY LIFE!"
"Ana it is OUR life. If something happened to you because of your stubbornness… something that could be prevented by a security team… if you were hurt or worse…my life would be… nothing…" His words rip through me, and I know he is right because if something happened to him, I know my life would be nothing.
"Ana, you just have to get used to the idea that you are not alone anymore. I am here…"
"You're here as long as I do what you want and say what you want. You're here as long as I don't cross some arbitrary line that you seem to move whenever the mood strikes you." His words still haunting me… "You forget you promised never to leave me but I never promised that I wouldn't leave you"
"Ana... I think considering the events of the past two nights I have been more than… lenient…"
"Lenient? You are not my father… or my commanding officer…or my Dom… you're my boyfriend…" I can feel the car picking up speed at he weaves in and out of traffic. He runs this hand through his hair and I can tell he is trying to control his anger. "And you know what else... you can't use sex as a weapon… because that goes both ways Mr. Grey." I cross my arms against my chest and defiantly stick out my chin, pouting. I know I am pushing the limits. I can't stop myself. I am just so fucking angry; I have lived twenty two years without the great and powerful CG… I have been taking care of people my entire life and he makes it like I am some idiot of epic proportions who can't make a decision without him.
"We should stop talking now Ana." He makes a very sharp right turn and with the wheels screeching pulls the car into the Escala parking garage.
"Why because you said so?" He glides into the space and slams on the breaks, sending up both forward and then back against the seats with a thud.
"Yes, because I fucking said so…we are just going to go around in circles. I made us an appointment for Monday with my therapist… until then we should just not argue…"
"Therapy? I don't need therapy…"
"No, WE need therapy! In case you missed it sweetheart I am fifty shade of fucked up… and you are fifty shades of clueless…" There is a glint in his eye and a smile on his face as the words leave his mouth and it sets my anger on fire.
"Fuck you… I am not clueless…"
"See you are even clueless to how fucking clueless you are…You are dating a control freak baby… a rich, powerful, master of the universe control freak… do you really think I am going to let the one thing…I love more than anything in the world… the one person I have ever said I love you too… the one person who I allowed to touch me… to just live her life like she did before we met… you can have everything and anything you want Ana… You want to be in publishing… I will buy you ten publishing houses… you want to go to Guam… I will take you to Guam…A pony…A kitten…The Crown Jewels of India… DONE… But don't ask me to stop being who I am… I can give up the red room, and the Dom shit and the canes… for fucks sake Ana… I have given up control to have you… but I will not give up keeping you safe…" He is panting, he chest heaving. His hands are gripped on the steering wheel, and I believe he could pull it right off the dashboard, that's how furious he is, almost rabid. He is shaking from anger or frustration; I am not sure which one but I have never seen him like this before. I am less scared for me and very scared for him. I need to do something… I just don't know what…
"Guam? I mean of all the places…London…Paris… Madrid… and the best you can come up with is Guam?" I giggle, because I know he loves it and my heart rate comes to a halt when he starts to laugh. He releases the steering wheel and his arms are around my waist, pressing his forehead to mine.
"You know you're bat shit crazy Grey?" I wrap my arms around his neck, running my finger in the nape of his hair.
"Yeah… I know…tell me you will move in…agree…"
"Fine… but you're the one who is telling Kate."
"Deal... Tomorrow… I will tell her tomorrow at my parents… and Taylor will collect your things…" He leans in to kiss me and it takes every ounce of strength to turn my head away from him. The shock and hurt on his face is palpable as he exhales loudly. "What now Ana?"
"Well the sex as a weapon…"
"It's what I do… and you love it…"
"So you're saying what then?"
"That sex is the one weapon I have in my arsenal against you…and I intend to use it…" He takes my mouth by sheer force, prying my lips open, his tongue sieging mine. I am lost completely lost and I don't want to be found. His hands tight in my hips, his finger tip kneading me. My hormones were all over the place and all I wanted was a release.
"Baby are you bleeding yet?"
"Yes…unfortunately." I know I am a good five days away from the one thing I really need, Christian inside of me, filling me.
"Ana…you sweet clueless thing… I am going to fuck you senseless…Come on." My mouth drops; I mean yeah it's possible but ewww. Just ewww.
"Christian… I have my period…" That grin spread across his face again and I know I am in trouble.
"You really think that would stop me…"
