Ok, I will admit I was worried about her. Truth be told Peyton was not please with my girl friend being forced down her throat. I had to bend her arm a bit and she was not someone who liked bending, much like myself. I couldn't get any work done, my focus was on Ana and what was happening a few floors down. I wanted for as long as I could before I sent the email I didn't want her to think I was hovering (even though I was), I mean of course I was. I wanted for a good reason, lunch. She had to eat right, why not eat with me.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: First Day…
Date: March 23 2013 11:33
To: Anastasia Steele
Ana,
I have been thinking about you all morning and I wanted to see how your day is going. Are you free for lunch?
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Lunch…
Date: March 23 2013 11:40
To: Christian Grey
The day has gone better than I could have ever hoped, thank you so much for making this happen. Peyton is taking the department out for lunch today, sorry.
Dinner? Dessert?
Best
Ana Steele
Administrative Assistant to Peyton Forbes
Grey Publishing
Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Dessert sounds promising
Date: March 23 2013 11:43
To: Anastasia Steele
Dinner sounds good to me, I will collect you at six. And baby you are very, very welcome.
Christian Grey
Disappointed but supportive boyfriend
Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Promising Indeed
Date: March 23 2013 11:45
To: Christian Grey
I would prefer if I met you in the car, you understand, I want to draw as little attention to the fact that we fuck as possible.
I am so hungry… Can't wait to eat. I am thinking something hot and vanilla…
Best
Ana Steele
Craving something sweet
Grey Publishing
Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Vanilla…
Date: March 23 2013 11:48
To: Anastasia Steele
Ana,
You keep this up and I will come down there and everyone will know we are fucking, they will get a live show.
And yes, I will meet you in the car.
Christian Grey
Hard and hungry
Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
The first day went well, really really really well. After a confusing start I soon discovered that Peyton was just amazing. We talked for a good hour about the current landscape of publishing. She was Team Jacob, I was Team Edward. She told me how and why she sold her company that she had lost her passion and needed to reboot. She laid out her plans for Grey Publishing, finding small books and making them special and most of all read by the masses. She was an exceptional woman who wanted to do exceptional things and the best part was is that she wanted to teach me. She wanted to show me the ins and outs of publishing, which was something I never got from Jack. She asked me where I saw myself in five years, why I loved books, what my favorite book was. It was hands down the most intense and educative conversation I had ever had and we were only an hour in.
By the time the day came to a close I was floating on cloud nine, ecstatic. I was also eager to see my man and show him just how appreciative I was. If not for Christian none of this would have ever been possible. I would still be stuffing envelopes and stuck, just stuck. Waiting to see if Jack's blacklisting would have gone on forever, waiting for my live to begin.
I almost ran from the elevator to the front door, the sight of the limo a few feet away. I wanted to launch myself at him, kiss him, and feel his hands all over my body. I wanted him, all of him. I resisted all my urges and instincts and slowly made my way to the limo. I couldn't see him but I could feel him watching me and it gave me the most delicious tingle deep in my belly.
Taylor greeted me first in his usual stoic way; he nodded and smiled, saying my name as he opened the door. He was a tough nut to crack, but I was going to do it. Come hell or high water. There must be more to him if Gail was in love. She was not a woman who fell easily or for no reason.
With the door open I caught a glimpse of his long legs, just that alone and I could feel my knees tremble. With shaky legs I slid into the back seat and before I could fully get into the limo Christian had his arms around my waist pulling me onto his lap. I could feel his undeniable heat and his breath on my face.
"I have fucking missed you today." He growled as his mouth crashed into my mouth, consuming me. His swift and agile tongue taking mine over and all I could do is surrender. He was merciless, as I moaned against him. His sexy as all hell scruff of his unshaven face chafing my delicate skin, the wetness building inside of me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I pressed my hands to his chest trying to get a little distance and air. He looked down on me, his eyes on fire and brought my fingers to his lips, kissing the tips of each one and then sucking my middle fingers, sending a shiver though me.
"Hey baby…" I chuckled, he said it so simply like he didn't just assult my mouth.
"Hey yourself."
"Good day?"
"The best…" He smiled proudly and give me a squeeze.
"Good, I want to hear all about it at dinner but first we have an appointment today with Dr. Flynn, I figured we could do dinner afterwards." Shit! Dr. Flynn, I had forgotten. I groaned like a child, no wanting to go.
"Do we have to? It has been such a great day." I was pleading and pouting. But then his words rang in my head.
…Ana, you are fifty shades of clueless…
"Yes we do. I think it is important and deep down I think you do too." I slid off his lap onto the cold leather seat not wanting to ruin the day with a fight I would lose in the end.
"Fine."
"Good…and stop pouting…Taylor."
"Yes Sir. Dr. Flynn's office.
I had to admit I was fucking nervous; I was basically giving Ana full access to all my shades of crazy. I ignored the small voice in my head telling me she would run and to hold on to what I knew to be true. The fact that Ana loved me, and while I wasn't sure why she did, I was sure of her love and that was enough. She looked more nervous than I did as we walked into his building. I rested my hand at the small of her back, giving her a much needed reassuring push.
"Christian, hello. Good to see you. And Ana, I presume. Lovely to meet you as well." Ana smiled and nodded as she shook his hand and I could feel her relax against me. He was his usual polite self as he gestured for us to sit on the small leather sofa opposite his chair.
"Hello John. How is Rhian doing?"
"As well as expected considering she is fifteen months preggers. She hates me right now." We laughed, and Ana chuckled.
"Your wife is having a baby?"
"Yes, Ana. Our third and from what my wife tell me our last offspring. This one has been hard on her, this one is four days late. But enough about me, why don't you tell me why you are both here today?"
"Well, Ana and I have some issues to work through and I though considering my history here would be the best place to do it."
"Issues? I don't know if I would call them "issues" Christian."
"Well what would you consider them Ana?" She furrows her brow at his question and begins to knot her finger in her lap. She is nervous which will only bring out her taciturn nature. Like with everything else I know Ana needs a push.
"Ana…he asked you a question." My comment flared her anger, mission accomplished. Sometimes she was just too easy to enrage, like now for example she hated that I treated her like a child. But she is also acting like a child so what other choice did I have.
"Yes I am aware Christian. Well I guess I would call them growing pains…"
"Growing pains interesting choice of words Ana." John sits back in his seat and jots down a few notes before returning his attention back to Ana.
"How so?"
"Well growing pains are symptomatic to children are they not? You and Christian both are stunted in your emotional growth. So growing pains seem to be a fitting term…"
"I wouldn't say I am stunted." Her eyes grow wide and I think in this moment she is realizing she is stunted, as am I. She is biting her lip but somehow in this context it is not having its usual affect in me. She looks scared and that is making me uncomfortable, I shift in the seat and cross my legs trying to ease this tension I am feeling. Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean Ana was a normal well-adjusted woman before she met me, only she wasn't. John leans forward in his seat, his voice is very soft unlike anything I have heard from him before.
"Christian told me that you were a virgin when you met him."
"Well yes."
"Why do you think that is Ana?"
"Well, I just never really, you know wanted to before… I mean I wanted to…I just had other priorities in my life…"
He jots a few notes down and I can see Ana is trying to read what he is writing upside down. I have tried myself over the years but he uses a short hand that I believe is known only to him and maybe his assistant.
"He also told me that you were essentially a care taker to your mother, was that the other priority you were speaking about?" Ana swallowed hard and nodded her head once. Her eyes turned to me, and I could tell she was not only hurt by how much I had divulged but shocked.
"She was the child and you were the parent. So you didn't have a normal adolescence."
"You told him all of that, really Christian? Did he tell you I am a cheater too?" I cringed at the word and rested my hand on her knee which did nothing to calm her down.
"He did say that you kissed another man. Ana, you are not here to be attacked. Christian expressed a desire to be with you which as his therapist stunned and excited me. Christian may I speak freely with you permission."
"Yes John of course you can, that is why we are here."
"Christian has been my patient for many years, I am sure you are away of his… well… proclivities and his past?"
"Yes, I have been somewhat acquainted with his proclivities but his past and I have yet to meet." I could see the blood rush to her cheeks as she twirled the ends of her hair around her fingers.
"Well you are the first woman he has ever wanted in a normal, rational non-contractual way. It was a breakthrough that I didn't see for years to come so for that I am thrilled that you are here. But I also question your ability to handle this kind of a relationship. I understand you were sexually assaulted recently and that mixed with your limited experience with men and your lapse of judgment in regards to the kiss…I worry you could set him back instead of moving him forward."
"Look Dr. Flynn. I am not perfect ok; I make mistakes and bad decisions. The truth is I was a virgin because I never wanted anyone until I met Christian, ever. And maybe that has to do with the fact my mother wanted every man she saw, and I know you will have a field fucking day with that.
Neither of us has ever been in a relationship before so there are all these… landmines I guess we keep walking right over them. But the one thing I know to be true is that there is no one else on the planet I would walk over a land mine for."
"So then tell me why you kissed him baby… I just don't understand."
"Either do I. Tell me why you won't tell me about your past or why you wouldn't let me touch you when we first got together… Tell me why you are so afraid to love Olivia and why you need to control me at every turn." It was like a combination punch to my face and gut, each one of her questions knocking the wind out of me. I looked to John for some help but I sat there impassive. There was this horrible silence until John finally spoke again.
"She is asking you very valid and necessary questions Christian and you can't answer hers, just like she can't answer yours. That's not to say you won't be able to one day just not today." No, fuck this. I needed to know the truth. I heard all her excuses but I needed to know the reason, the real reason she could tell me she loved me, only me and then a few hours later be sucking face with another man and until I really understood why I could never really let it go.
"When I was a child…my birth mother well she was a crack head. She neglected me and allowed me to be abused. That is why I couldn't let you touch me at first but then you gave yourself to me so completely I felt like I had no choice but to do the same. You pushed past your fear so I pushed passed mine. I am not afraid to love Olivia; I am afraid by how much you love her and maybe even how much she loves you. I feel the need to control you because you are mine Ana and I want to keep you safe, I want you to be happy but I also need to protect you the way I was not protected. And my past is a dark place full of nameless faceless women, fifteen contracts, and since meeting you I wish I could take it all back. But I can't. So tell me why you kissed him." She sat there a moment absorbing all of my words; John was in shock quietly sitting there taking it all in.
"I told you already because…"
"No Ana that was the stem but not the root… why?" She rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand and exhaled loudly. I could feel all my muscles tense up as if they were waiting for impact.
"I needed to know… If what I felt for you was real I guess… If I could feel that way kissing another man. Jose has loved me for years and I lied to myself and said we were just friends, that I wasn't attracted to him that I didn't feel that way. I think I did. I was just too scared and silly and… "stunted" to admit it… So I let him kiss me and I kissed him back and it was nice, but it wasn't you. It will never be anyone else but you. But I am worried that one day you will open your eyes and realize I am not enough. I can't imagine why you want me…"
"Ana." I think my hearts begins to break at her question because for the first time in my life I feel pain there, a dull aching pain and it takes me buy complete surprise.
"Christian allow me. Ana, what you are saying indicates self-loathing, and frankly I am surprised to hear you indicate such a thing. You are a young, smart, beautiful woman. I really think you would benefit from a few private sessions Ana, considering what happened to you in New York."
"I agree Ana, it would be good for you."
"Can I think about it?"
"Yes of course. Now Christian you said something that is really sticking in my claw… About Olivia… Why are you afraid of Olivia and Ana's relationship?" Fuck, I knew he was going to bring that part up. He never left a stone unturned.
"John that is something I think we should discuss privately. Ana I hope you understand." She looked at me blankly and nodded once, I could tell she was shutting down this whole experience over whelming her. I could see the tears break the corners of her eyes as he small body trembles beside mine.
"Ana…Are you ok?"
"Yes… I just think I realized right here right now…do you believe in fate Dr. Flynn?"
"Yes Ana I do…"
"I never did, I always thought things were random but they're not, everything happens for a reason. I know now that the reason for my life is you Christian and the reason for your life is me. That is why we are here right…Not here in this room but here to love and be loved and to fight, to cry and to laugh, to fuck… this is what life is. I never wanted a life until I met you and I don't think you really wanted on until you met me."
"No baby I didn't…"
"So, yes… I will come back to see Flynn alone and we will come back together and get unstunted or whatever…Ok…"
We left Dr. Flynn's office and I was a pile of mush, what had started out as a great day was spiraling downwards. I just wanted to go home and slide into bed, tomorrow was day two and I needed my strength and energy. We walked out of the building and Christian put his arm around me and somehow that made me feel better.
"Look, I know that wasn't easy, but I am proud of you. I am proud of us. We are going to figure out how to make this work ok Ana."
"I know, I know we will. That is the one thing I am sure about." We stood before the limo, Taylor standing there with the door open. Christian kissed my forehead and smiled.
"Good…get in. He slid in behind me, quickly pulling my body up onto his lap. I needed his touch, his reassurance. We pulled out into Seattle traffic as Christian's hands traveled down my body, cupping my ass. "Taylor… the club."
"The club?"
"Yeah, The Mile High Club, I own it I figured we could have dinner there."
"I am not really hungry and I am exhausted, can't we just go home to Escala."
"While it pleases me greatly that you referred to Escala as home, you need to eat Ana."
"Ok if you're sure but you should know…" I brought my lips right against his ear not wanting Taylor to hear. "I am not wearing any underwear." I could feel and hear his sharp intake of breath as his hand traveled up the length of my thigh, making the climb to my apex. Shock spread across his face when instead of the usual lace of my panties he felt the soft down of my pubic hair.
"Ana…" His voice was low and husky as he slipped a finger inside of me. Stunned my eyes went to Taylor, whose eyes were focused on his driving. I looked back to Christian quietly pleading and his slipped in a second finger and pumped the furiously inside of me.
"You wanted to play baby, this is what you get." He flicked over my nub with his thumb and I gasped. "Be quiet or I won't let you come."
I nodded that was all I was able to do as I felt the hardness of his erection pushing into my backside and his finger fucked me. He kissed me gently and started asking me about my day.
"So Peyton and you got along?" As he spoke he twisted his fingers so he was pressing against my front wall, I nearly jumped off his lap as my teeth clamped down on my lower lip.
"Errr, yeah she was really good. Really good." He chuckled and the taking me by complete shock he slipped in a third finger, the pain missed with the pleasure and I stared to shake.
"And did you like the new offices?"
"Yeah, they were… big…and uh…nice… very big and nice…" I clenched around his, my nails digging into his forearm. I wanted to scream out; it was torture trying to be still and quiet.
"Hush now…" He started to pull his fingers away from me, but I tighten ever muscle I had to hold him there.
"Taylor, Ana looks tired and I think it has been a long day… right baby?" I nodded yes. "I think Escala is the best bet, we can order dinner." I started to relax, thinking he would wait until we were home to make me come. Wrong. He thrust his fingers back inside of me, his thumb pressing and rubbing my clit over and over. I felt it start in my belly, the quiver of my orgasm. I slipped off my hells, giving my toes the ability to curl. It radiated out exploding through my body. I pressed my lips into a hard line trying to stifle the sound. His fingers still thrashing inside of me as the second wave hit as his cock was pulsating underneath me. I rubbed my ass against him, his own breath hitched. We pulled into the parking garage as he pulled his fingers out of me, a smirk on his face as he sucks them clean. My eyes dart to Taylor who is half way out of his seat to open my door. He is acting like he normally does so I can only hope he was clueless as to what was happening, but somehow I doubt it.
"You are such as asshole Grey."
"That may be true but you love it."
