Song Inspiration: Try, Pink


Hello All! Its been a while since I have posted for this story so here is a super sized chapter! I hope you enjoy it. I am not going to lie there is some drama but it plays a part in the larger story!

I also wanted to thank all of my followers. This is far and away my most follwed story and i just wanted to tell you all how grateful i am for each and every reader and review... So with that i wanted to share the wealth and give a shout out to a story that i fell in love with and has gotten very little traffic. It is called Fifty Shades of Being engaged by fiftyshadesfreak. It is a canon story filling the blanks between the engagement and the wedding. It is a lovely story and it reminded me why I love FSOG so much so please give it a look see follow and review and tell fiftyshadesfreak to keep going!

Ok... enjoy guys and please review! XOXO PPP


We have been at my parents house in Bellevue for a week, a very very long week. It's large house but it is also a full house, a very very full house. All the bedrooms are occupied, like Wall Street. The breakfast bar in the morning is like a Mess hall, I have waiting for a bathroom on more then one occasion and there are seven in total. And the real mind-fuck of it all is that we are all under one roof at my command and megalomaniac instance. My parents, Olivia and their staff. Ana and me, and my staff of Gail, Taylor, Ryan and Sawyer. I pulled older brother rank and made Mia move back in, her safety was always at the top of my list She is so small and trusting and eager, why I didn't have a security detail on her this whole time baffles me. I put Ryan on the case, much to his displeasure. Mia can be a lot to take. Elliott quickly jumped on the bandwagon, never one to miss out on the fun and of course he brought Kate along for the ride. He was right being a friend of Ana's put her at risk too, but having a reporter living in my family home was not ideal. She balked about signing and NDA, but Ana convinced her it was for the best. Ana was a snake charmer and Katherine Kavanaugh was the snake. If I didn't know any better I would think Kate had more then platonic feels where Ana was concerned.

The house was full of noise, laughter, tears, arguments. No one could agree on what to eat or what to watch. It was like someone lets all the animals loose at the zoo, and honestly every seemed to be having a great time, with the exception of Taylor and I. WE liked our quiet, scheduled routine. Bellevue had turned into a sleep away camp, or what I assumed camp would be like, Camp Fiftyshadeawanka.

Ana had been acting strangely the last few days, she and Grace often found taking in hushed tones, deep in conversation. I know Ana felt guilty about everything that had happened to Gail despite everyone telling her not to, even Gail herself. Ana was always so contained, so in her own head you never really know what she is thinking for feeling. I have tried to get her to talk but she just keeps distracting me we sex, not that I am complaining but since we have moved in here Ana has been horny as all hell. She has fucked my brains out all over this crowded house. Mom and Dad almost caught us early one morning in the sauna and the worst part was I think she and dad had the same idea.

Ana has seen Flynn twice this week, so I am hoping that he is able to get into that pretty little head and make some sense of how she is feeling. She has not been sleeping and eats only at my instance. I literally send her lunch to her desk at work everyday and Sawyer reports back how much she has eaten. Ana has been having intense dreams, maybe even nightmares. She talks in her sleep saying no over and over again. I have been able to snap her out of them without waking her, and she seems to have no memory of them come morning, which is a relief.

This morning the house was full of activity, Kate had an interview with the mayor and was making everyone crazy. Elliott left early some construction emergency, so we all had to deal with her, the bastard. Dad had to be in court, mom was giving a lecture even though she cut her hours back she was still teaching. Ana was reading a manuscript and was about to present to Peyton for the first time, she was a nervous fucking wreck even after two rounds of kinky shower fuckery. Mia woke up late as usual, out too late the night before and came flying down the stairs looking like the wreck of the Hespus. At least that was entertaining. Olivia was the only sane one in the bunch, sitting on the counter eating her fruit loops, singing a song that only she knew the words to. Gail would be with her today, they were making cupcakes for dinner tonight. I'll admit I was happy when I heard they were making chocolate cupcakes, my favorite.

By the time Taylor and I left for the office both of our nerves were fried. I slammed the front door behind me, the cackling of Kate and Mia finally being stifled. Taylor exhaled loudly the moment his ass hit the seat and he put the car in drive.

"Sir?"

"Yes Taylor?"

"I think you might want to call that realtor."

"You think? This was your grand idea not mine."

"Yes sir, I am aware. But it was your idea to invite the entire Grey clan…"

"Fair point well made, I will make a few calls today." He nods and pulls out of the circular drive way. I was grateful when he cranked up the Puccini and took the long way to the office. I knew I hired him for a reason.

I spent the day swamped, I had taken several days off after the Hyde mess and was still catching up, with Ros on her honeymoon everything differed to me. She had offered to stay but I couldn't allow that. Hyde was still and enigma and all of our leads were cold and dead but I still felt him in my bones lurking. Gail was still a nervous wreck, her bumps and bruises had faded but the memory of what happened and even worse what could have happened was still very much a open wound, for us all.

I had two deals in the pipeline and one just starting and they still caused me less stress then breakfast. I also had to buy a house quickly, very very quickly. I made a call to my real estate guy and in a flash of inspiration I told him I want to buy a house cash by the end of business today. It needed to be move in ready and waterfront. I also called my interior designer to come and look at the places with me, to get the ball on furniture rolling. By noon he had five places to show me and I was out the door ready to buy.

My day ran late, between buying the last house I was shown and closing both of the pipeline deals from the back of my SUV I was spent. By the time I got home the sun was just setting.

I made my way though the house and it was oddly quiet. I wander around for a moment and finally find Ana and Olivia curled up on the sofa reading a book, one of my favorites The Giving Tree. I leaned in the door way as I watched and listened to Ana helping Olivia read, sounding out the words slowly and repeating them until Olivia understood why the same letters sounded differently.

"Ana please, just read me the story…" Olivia nuzzled into the crook of Ana's arm, her eyes breaking with frustrated tears. Ana ran her hand over her small delicate head, twirling the ends of her long brown curls soothing her.

"Olivia, you won't learn if you don't try."

"Please Ana, we can try more tomorrow. Just read to me…my mommy used to read to me sometimes…please Ana." Her voice was full of an aching pain and I understood why Ana gave in, it was heartbreaking. Her voice was low and melodic, the words falling gently out of her mouth. I myself felt like I was in a trace just hearing them.

"Come boy." She whispered "Come and play"

"I am too old and sad to play." said the boy. "I want a boat that will take me far away from here. Can you give me a boat?"

"Cut down my trunk and make a boat." said the tree. "Then you can sail away… and be happy."

And so the boy cut down the trunk and made a boat and sailed away. And the tree was happy…but not really.

I watched while Ana read the book once and then again. Until Olivia was yawning and then sleeping in the early evening dusk. The light trapped them both and they glowed like two perfect angels and I felt my heart grow just from being in their presence. If I could always love them and keep them safe I would have been a successful man with a life worth living. All the bad I had seen and done will have meant something because it gave me the power to shelter these two souls from the storm.

"Christian. You're home late…" I hear my mother voice behind me and Ana looks up smiling as her eyes find mine. Olivia's eyes open at the sound of my name and when she sees me any thoughts of sleep are gone as she leaps off the sofa and bounds into my direction, yelling my name. Her excitement is as if she has not seen me for weeks instead of hours and I admit it's a nice welcome. True to her nickname she climbs up my body, she is a little heavier then when she first came here and I am grateful for that fact. The idea that she spent a moment hungry or is pain in like a burning hot poker driving into my chest, painful.

I can't stomach the idea of having children of my own. The never ending shit and piss, the crying, the constant need that a child has for it parents, the thought revolts me. I like my freedom, I like to fuck where ever and when ever I want, I like my silence and my control. Children and control don't mix. Toss in my hatred from my mother, the fact that my heart is as black as tar and my inability to love any part of myself and it is easy to see why I should never be a father.

"Hello mother." She kisses me on the cheek lightly and pats my shoulder and then kisses Olivia on her cheek as well. "I had a meeting run over. I couldn't wait to get out of there."

"Well you are home now, we made you a plate. Just stick it in the microwave, unless you and Ana are heading out tonight like everyone else."

"Where is everyone?" I am asking my mom or Ana but it is Olivia that answers.

"Well, Elliott and Katie are on a grown-up date to the movies so I couldn't go, Mia-Mia is out with a friend. Mr. Cary is in his study working on a case… I don't know what a case is but he said it is very important… Mrs. Jones is in bed, she was not feeling so well, Luke is in the room with all the TVs…Ana is on the couch and Grace is behind you." She is very proud as she rattles off the names and locations of everyone in the house, she would make a great Welsh someday. "I don't know where Taylor is but he is bringing Sophie over tomorrow for the whole weekend! We are going to see a movie, and Elliott and Katie can't come!" Her eyes light up at the sound of her friends name, I have never seen Olivia more contented then when Sophie is around.

"Come on Olivia, time for a bath." Grace sweetly sings out taking Olivia out of my arms.

"Night Ana, Night Christian." We both say our goodbyes and Ana finally stands and wraps her arms around my neck pulling me close.

"Hey baby…"

"Hey yourself. Rough day?"

"You could say that, but every day is a rough day. How about you? Peyton treating you right?"

"Peyton is the best, like ever… if I was not in love with you I would so be in love with her."

"Excuse me?"

"She is like a female version of you… Strong, capable, commanding…"

"Do I have something to be worried about baby… First kissing Kate, now crushing on Peyton?" She giggles and then presses her warm soft lips to mine, pulling away quickly. I tighten my arms around her narrow waist, pressing my cock against her belly. I have yet to show Ana the boat house, a perfect place for a little alone time.

"For the record, Kate kissed me both times… and no you have nothing to be worried about Mr. Grey. You are most certainly stuck with the likes of little old me… In fact your mother and I were talking about the wedding at dinner tonight…"

"Good, and what did you decide?" The news of our engagement spread like wildfire, Mom, Mia and Kate squealing with delight.

"Well… I would like to have the wedding here… and Grace agreed. We were thinking December…" I frown because December is months away.

"No that is too far away… I was thinking June…" Her eyes spring up in shock and then horror, making my blood run cold. She has doubts.

"Christian is April for crying out loud…"

"Yes I am aware… but I don't want to wait…"

"Well I think we should… I mean we have been together for weeks… I don't want to rush into anything."

'What does that mean… Do you plan on changing your mind?"

"No of course not, I just think there is no rush we have all the time in the world."

"Well I want you to me my wife, if it were up to me we would be married tomorrow…"

"Well its not just up to you… I want my family there and my friends, and I want to wear a white dress and hold a bouquet…"

"And that you shall have Ana… in June…"

"June is too soon…" She pushes herself out of my arms and takes two very large steps away from me. "You can't bully me into a wedding date, you can't command it. I am not ready to be a wife yet… I was just barely your girlfriend… now I am just barely you fiancée. I need time…"

"Time for what? You either love me or you don't. You either want to be my wife or you don't."

"I do! Just not in June… You read the papers Christian, they are already shaping me as a gold-digger, can you imagine what they will say if we get married so quickly?"

"I don't give a fuck what the papers say. I only care what you say." I am trying to control my temper and tone but I know I am failing miserably. "We are getting married in June or not at all." Did those fucking words just come out of my stupid mouth. From the look on Ana's face I know that they did. Fuck my life!

"If that's how you feel, and you are making me choose than I choose not at all." She yanks her ring off her finger and looks at it for a moment before throwing it at me. I catch it as it bounces of my chest, stunned that she chose the latter and took her ring off with such ease. "You are a fucking arse Christian Grey! To think you could order me about and make me do something I am not ready to do!"

"I am ARSE!?" I can barely contain the laughter in my voice and the grin on my face.

"Yes an arse… an amadan…an asshole…take your pick!" She is yelling loudly and waving her hands about like a mad woman.

"For fucks sake Ana, put your ring back on."

"No!"

"Ana, baby… come on… put on the ring." I extend it to her in my open palm but she just shakes her head no and crosses her arms across her chest. "Look I'm sorry okay, June is too soon but December is to far… I want to be your husband, I want you to be my wife. I want to start the next part of our lives together."

"My life started when I met you Christian…there is no need to rush…" I reach out to touch her still holding the ring in my hand. "No, don't… I need to process…I am going to have a sleep over with Olivia tonight I think. She has been asking…" Well fuck… How did this happen, just a few minutes ago we are talking about our wedding and now I will be sleeping alone. Oh that's right because I am an arse. I close my hand around her ring and fist it into the pocket of my suit pants.

"Process all you want." I turn on my heel and storm off into the kitchen. I grab a bottle of wine from the fridge and slam the door leaving the rattle of jars in my wake. I fling open the cabinet and grab a glass filling it nearly to the top and drinking it quickly. Ana is so fucking stubborn, what does it matter if we get married in June, why wait. I mean if she doesn't want to marry me then why say yes in the first place, why wear my ring. I just want a small shred of control back, I don't think I am asking to much. I want Ana to have my name, so everyone will know and understand that she is mine and only mine. Why cant she see how important this is to me, to us.

"Evening son…" Dad comes in behind me and points to the bottle of wine. "You sharing?"

"Of course." I pour him a glass and he sits down at the breakfast bar quietly taking a sip. I can feel his judgment, and I know he overheard out fight.

"I thought you were a smart man Christian but that was the dumbest thing I have ever heard."

"Jesus Dad…"

"You made a huge mess for no reason, that girl loves you more then life. She is young, much younger then you and scared because forever is a very very long time. You have known her a minute in the scheme of things, you are not an easy man by any stretch."

"I know… trust me I know…I fucked up."

"Yes, yes you did. You weren't a patient boy and god knows you are not a patient man but there are a few things worth waiting for and Ana is one of them."


I slept alone and I fucking hated every minute of it. Just knowing that Ana was a few doors away made me crazy. I was worried that she was dreaming and I was not there to wake her from her dreams. I was worried that I just bought a huge house that I would be living in alone. I was worried that she wouldn't forgive my stupidity, I was worried that she wouldn't put her ring back on. Suddenly December didn't seem so far away after all. Fuck my life.

I got out of bed at five like usual and met Taylor at the front door for our Saturday morning run. I needed to clear my head and get my shit together. We ran in tandem for nearly two hours, Taylor was always able to keep up, Sawyer not so much. After forty minutes he needed a break. Light weight. My new house has a jogging trail that loops around the property, it's potentially a security nightmare but Taylor said that he and Welch would work it out.

We both amble into the kitchen sweaty and exhausted, in dire need of hydration and stumble in on Ana and Gail, still in the morning robes sitting together drinking tea. They have red rimmed eyes and puffy faces, its obvious they have both been crying. They look nervous and we have obviously intruded on something. Taylor and I look at each other for a sign on what to do next. I am in the dog house so like a fool I stand there sipping my water while Taylor makes his way to Gail's side and gently strokes her back. She leans against him and I can seem them relax in tandem. They have such an easy relationship, I have never heard a harsh word pass between them, they communicate without sound, just a passing look is all they need. What are the chances they would find one another while working for a sadistic billionaire. I guess the same as finding your true love on a grainy black and white monitor.

"Chris, can I talk to you for a minute please, outside…" I heart drops to my belly for a moment and I follow Ana out to the covered veranda. She called me Chris which is usually a good sign. " Look I had some time to think about marriage and everything. I talked to Gail and Grace and they gave me some perspective…I am sorry how I reacted yesterday… I just… don't want to be my mom you know… she would jump into these relationships and say I do, quicker then you can say divorce decree."

"You are nothing like your mother…"

"How do you know… you've never met her…or my father for that matter…"

"True but from what you have told me I am certain that you are nothing like your mother but you're right I should meet them both and soon… Have you even told them about the engagement?" She shakes her head no and it wounds me. I have brought her into my family, but I know nothing about hers. "Ana… You are the love of my life, my soul mate, my other half. We are going to be married until death do us part. So please don't worry about the end when we are still at the beginning." I rest my hands on her shoulders and slowly press my thumbs into the back of her neck easing the tension that has taken hold. She closes her eyes and lets out a small moan and my cock twitches.

"So June 15th is a Saturday…"

"Yes…"

"So… June… Okay…"

"Really baby?"

"Yes really! Can I have my ring back now?" She smiles broadly, her blue eyes shining with love for me and I am humbled. This perfect creature loves me and I will spend my life trying to deserve it. I pull on the ring which has not left my pinky finger, it sticks a little but finally relents and it slide it back where is belongs. I sweep her up into my arms, her feet leaving the ground. If it was up to me they would never touch the ground again.

"Mr. Grey would you like some breakfast?" Gail asks sweetly as we make our way back into the kitchen. "I was thinking Pancakes and bacon, how does that sound?"

"Perfect, thank you Gail." She takes off her robe, revealing her blue and white striped pajamas and places it over the stool, tying her apron around her waist. Its strange seeing her like this, she feels more human and more of a friend. "And Gail please call me Christian." Her eyes go wide and she smiles.

"Gail let me help, I have been dying to see how you make your pancakes."

"Sure thing Ana, here put this on." She hands Ana an apron and she follows suit, draping her robe over the stool. Something hits the floor and I bend down to pick it up but Ana quickly intercepts and shoves it into her pocket but its too late I see what she is hiding. A pregnancy test. It all makes sense. The loss of appetite, the sleepless nights, the crying.

"Ana what the fuck was that?" All the blood drains from her face and she shoots Gail a nervous look.

"It's nothing Christian."

"It most certainly was something. Give it to me Ana. Now."

"Now is not the time or the place."

"Is this why you agreed to marry me! Is it! Trying to trap me…"

"Mr. Grey… Christian…"

"No Gail… No! Let him say his peace…"

"Damn right I will say my peace. What did I tell you Ana from the very beginning, the very first time… I was clear that children were nowhere in my near or distant future. Did I or did I not?"

"Oh you did… I remember very clearly!"

"And when I asked you to see Dr. Green you insisted that your pills were fine, and you liked your doctor… even though I wanted you to go on the shot! Because I understood when you said it was your body and you didn't want to change what was working!" Then the worst thought floods my mind and I cant contain it. "Did you do this on purpose? You did didn't you?" Ana looks at me with such anger and disappointment in her eyes that I don't even notice when she takes a step towards me and rear up her hand. It is only when it makes sharp contact with my face and the pain radiates across my jaw that I realize what is happening.

"You have said a lot of crazy, mean, hurtful, stupid things to me but that is without a doubt the icing on the cake Christian. To accuse me of trying to trap you! News flash you were the one pushing ME to get married!"

"Yeah exactly and you were the one dragging her heels! Now all of a sudden you pull a 180! You can't keep it Ana!" She gasps loudly, her hand covering her mouth, horror spreading across her face.

"Mr. Grey!" He takes a step in front of me, blocking Ana from my view.

"Stay out of this Taylor!" I shove him out of the way, but he recovers quickly and is right back where he started.

"Sir I think it's best you don't say another word." I can see his fists clenched and his jaw is tight, Taylor and I are about to come to blows and I realize where his loyalties lie… With Ana.

"Or what?"

"Christian! The test is not Ana's! It mine!" Gail shouts out her voice edged in frantic energy. Taylor's head spins around and we both sat what at the same time. Gail is crying a mix of happy and sad tears. "We are going to have a baby Jason… I didn't think it was possible but it is…"

In two long strides Gail is wrapped up in his arms and they are kissing. If it weren't for the anger radiating off Ana this would be a wonderful moment. She storms out of the room and says nothing.

"Gail, Taylor… I am so sorry. I…just…"

"With all do respect Sir… I don't want to hear it… I have worked for you eight years now… Eight long hard years… And in that time I have wanted to kick your ass on a daily basis. Today was the closest I ever got! How dare you speak to her like that. If she was my daughter I would take you out back and shoot you like the rabid dog that you are. What if she would have been pregnant? Is that the memory you want your future wife to have?" I run my fingers through my hair and sit at the bar defeated.

"No… no it's not. I panicked… I… can't be a father." I mutter that over and over, angry and confused and hating myself more and more with each passing second.

"Taylor…" Ana's small voice fills the space and when I look up she is dressed and holding a suitcase. "Can you please take me to my apartment?"

"Of course."

"NO! Ana no, don't be stupid. Hyde is still…"

"Hyde will what HURT me? For someone so concerned with my feelings and well being you certainly have a funny way of showing it! You know I was fine before I met you. Safe and happy and content. I didn't cry all the time. I didn't have a mad man after me… I was just living my life… I love you… so much… but I can't do this. I can't keep allowing you to destroy me and then put me back together… Taylor please I need to leave." For the second time I watch Ana slide her ring off her finger, this time she places it on the breakfast bar and I fear that she won't put it on ever again. Its tainted now.

"Gail, Taylor give us a moment please."

"No Sir."

"Excuse me?" The control is seeping out of me into the ether and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

"If Ana wants to leave then she should be able to leave. I will have Sawyer watch her apartment and install some security measures until we can find a safer option." I can't even process what he is saying, everything feels hazy and unreal. This pain in my chest is growing, taking over my body. Ana is silently crying, her lips are moving but I can't really make out what she is saying but I see Taylor and Gail leave the room.

"Ana, please don't leave… I am begging you. I fucked up… again…Please…" I fall to my knees, my head down, hands on my thighs. I can't think I can't speak all I can do is feel. Every bad memory rushes back to me at once, the floodgates of my brain open wide. My mother, her hair, the smell of crack cooking on an old piece of foil. The burning pain of a cigarette burning my flesh, his hand covering my mouth stifling my cries. The crack of the whip against my thighs and Elena's voice in my hear telling me that love is for fools and pain is the only thing that is real. Leila in a bloody heap on the floor. Ana and Jose kissing in the streetlight, the video of her getting assaulted by Hyde. The file about Olivia's past. It all plays over and over in my head until I have no choice but to turn it off and go numb and then I feel nothing.


"Christain! Look at me!" He is frozen on the floor, no movement, no sound. I kneel down in from of him and I can see tears falling down his cheeks only then does my panic set in. I have ever seen him cry before, he is too strong for tears and then it hits me. He is in a sub position. I rest my hands on either side of his face and pull his head up. His eyes are still closed and he is unresponsive. I say his name over and over trying to break him out of this trauma induced trance. Finally I press my lips to his and wrap my arms around his neck crawling up on to his lap. For a few moments he is still like stone, no reaction no response. His lips are the first things that show signs of life, as they slowing begin to move with mine. He slides his hands from under my body and wraps them around my hips pulling me closer. It is only in that moment do I feel my Christian coming back to me. His warm wet mouth taking over my own, his tongue possessing me. I am hurt, sad, angry, confused. I want to run away, far and fast but then again not really. I want to own this man, I want him to own me. I want to understand why he does what he does. Why he says what he says. I want to feel as close and to human beings can. I knew he didn't want children, he was very clear about that and right now I don't want them either. Maybe five or ten years from now we will both feel differently. We have so much growing up to do, so much to work through and learn from. Not wanting children is one thing reacting how he did is something else all together. He was enraged and it scared me.

"Ana, you're here?" He pulls away and we are both breathless, our chests' heaving for air. His fingers are knotted in my hair and his face in in my neck. His hot breath tickling my collarbone with every word. "Please forgive me baby, please. I don't know why I am like this… I mean I know why… I just can't stop myself."

"I know… I know…" I am trying to soothe him, but I need some soothing myself. "I don't know how to help you, I don't know how to fix this Christian."

"I know… its not your job to fix me… I pay Flynn more then enough to tackle the job…It's just so much has changed…If anything ever happened to you I don't know what I would do. I live in constant fear… Everything good dies… I can't do it again…"

"Do what again?"

"Watch someone die and be powerless." Oh Christian, my beautiful fucked up mess.

"I am not going to die!" I need to make him believe and understand. I am not going to die. "Look at me!" He pulls his head up and locks his eyes with mine. "You need to stop pushing me away at every turn. I love you, I am not going to die. And I don't want to leave you Christian but I can't keep up with this trials… You have to stop pushing me away and pulling me back. I can't do this. I can't have these extreme highs and these unbearable lows. I want you, all of you… The mess, and the past and the scars… I want it all, but you have to let me keep it. You give it to me and then you snatch it away…"

"I know. I just… I don't know why I keep doing it. I don't know why I cant just let you love me Ana. Why can't I just let this happen naturally… Why I can't want you but not consume you. I don't know. But I can't change either. I can modify and adjust, I can attempt compromise but change… I never will… I need to dominate, I need control and…" My heart dies a bit because I know where this is headed.

"And you haven't had that since you've been with me… I am not enough…"

"You are enough baby, I am just too much…The problem is with me not you… I am the one who is fifty shades of fucked up…"

"And I am the one who is fifty shades of clueless. So where does that leave us?"

"I love you. I. Love. You. I will do what ever it takes to make you happy, to make us whole but you have to understand that I will fuck up. I am going to say mean things, and yell and scream and maybe thrown things. I am going to hurt you, even if I don't want to. Even if causing you a moments pain in abhorrent to me. Because I will always need to test you, to push you… because I will never deserve you Ana. Never. I will always try to fuck this up."

"No, I don't believe that. I won't believe that! You are a man of control and what happened here today was a man devoid of all control. That was not you. That was a stranger and someone you are never going to show me again. Promise me… I know that if you make me a promise you will never break it. Promise me Christian that you will never treat me like that again and I promise you that I will never leave. That I will love you with every breath in my body. That I will want you and only you…I will trust you with my heart and my body…If you need the red room, then we will need the red room. Promise me Christian."

"I promise." And with those two words everything changed.