It had been over a month since that horrible night at Escala. The marks across my back were healed and scabbed over, my bumps and bruises gone. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to eat. Working was out of the question. Peyton had hired someone to replace me and to be honest it was a relief. The thought of going back to what was once SIP made me physically ill. I wanted to distance myself as much as possible from everything and everything ever having to do with Jack Hyde.

I was staying at Kate's father's estate. There was a small guest house tucked behind the pool. My mother came to stay with me for the first two weeks and Ray came by every few days. It was nice having my parents back. I didn't realize how seperated I felt from them over the past year. Kate had been a godsend. She never was far and was always there to pull me out of my funk. The media was in a frenzy and I could barely leave the premises, it would have been so isolating without my friends and family. Kate took a week off from work after my mother left and just hung out with me. We watched movies and talked. We talked a lot. I told her everything about me and Christain and that night. She just listened and told me that I needed to figure out what was next. My mother, Ray and Kate were all in agreement - a life with Christian Grey would only bring me pain. The details of his life and our life together were now open for debate and discussion and trying to explain to my father why there was a red room in Christain's apartment was difficult. Loving him was not enough and I didn't know how we would get passed this. Deep down I knew that we wouldn't.

A short investigation was done, everything was recorded and given to the police. Elena and Jack were dead, Sawyer was in jail, the mystery person on the phone was a sub of Elena's, he too was behind bars. Christian's lawyers took care of everything. A lot about Christians private life had to be revealed and some of it was now public record. His relationship with Elena. His relationship with his subs. Lelia's sucide was brought into the public eye, and Christain was right Elena was the one pulling her strings. There were emails and text messages to prove it. We even had proof that Jack and Sawyer tampered with the chopper. At the end of the day the evidence all pointed to a blackmail and kidnapping conspiracy, we had the whole incident on audio and video, the cameras at Escala were still working and Taylor was able to turn them on remotely. Thankfully there weren't any cameras in the red room. I wondered what they would have revealed in the last moments of Hyde's life.

I didn't have to kill Hyde. I chose to and I don't regret it. But I will never be the same. A part of me died that night and while a felt a huge sense of relief that it was finally all over but I also felt the cost was too high. Every moment of every day was soaked in blood and fear and sadness. Flynn was making daily visits and we would talk and talk but nothing made me feel better. I could not wrap my brain around that night. Everything after Will dropping me off at the airport was a blur, bits and pieces would flash back in fragments and I would be right back in the moment.

Jack slapping me… signing the contract… taking off my clothes… kneeling on the floor… Christian's face… the time he ripped my dress in New York… the chopper crash...broken mirrors… blood… Elena's blood… Screaming… Christian on his knees… Olivia crying… the feel of the gun in my hands… Jack's eyes…ripping my dress in New York… slapping me, the smell of the gunpowder… Olivia crying… my knees hurting from kneeling so long… Elena's laugh… submitting to Elena the look in Christain's eyes...blood… Christain on his knees… It all played like a look over and over in my head.

There was a moment when I decided to pull the trigger. There was a look in Jack's eyes and I knew he wouldnt rest until he destroyed everything I cared about most. He couldn't exist anymore and I knew I could stop him. After his death multiple women came forward with their stories about his harrassment, blackmail and rape. He was a monster. So I made the right choice but it still kept me awake at night.

Christian and I were disconnected. His guilt and my shame were a harmful combination. It was hard for us to be in the same room together. We had not touched since the paramedics separated us in Escala. We didn't talk other than a few sessions with Flynn to discuss what happened. Something had died between us that days as well and I was not sure if we could fix it. I was not sure if I wanted to.

I sat in the garden and watched him walk up the long path from the main house. He was such a beautiful man, so strong, so brave. He sat beside me but didn't say a word.

"Thank you for coming today."

"Of course, Ana." He took off his sunglasses, resting them on his thigh. "I will come whenever you call."

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. I am more worried about how you are. Have you been sleeping?"

"When I can."

There was a long silence between us. Over the past few weeks there had been so many long silences.

"I know what you are going to say, Ana. It's alright. You can say it." He didn't look at me as he spoke, his gaze was fixed off in the distance.

"I am leaving Seattle." He signed softy and nodded.

"New York?"

"No, I couldn't go to New York after everything that happened there. I'm going to Boston. Peyton got me a job at a friends publishing company. I start the first of the month."

"I see." I reached out and rested my hand over his, only then did he look at me. His eyes were the saddest I had ever seen them.

"I need a fresh start, Christian and I won't get that if I stay here.

"Are we over?"

"I don't know. Are we? Can you look at me and not feel guilt and anger and shame? Because that is all I ever see on your face anymore. Even now."

"All I have ever brought to your life is drama and pain. You have not been safe a moment you have been on my side. Boston… You will be happy there." He gently pulled his hand out from under mine and stood, his figure eclipsing the sun. "I will love you forever, Ana but I am letting you go." With that he turned and walked away and I let him. I sat there, crying until the sun went down and cold air forced me inside. And just like that it was over.

A month later I was fully settled into my new apartment in Boston. It was a small one bedroom, on the first floor of a brownstone. It got great morning sun and had a window that overlooked a small park. It was perfect. I furnished it simply buying everything new. I only brought one suitcase and Kate shipped me a few things from the apartment that we shared together. The energy in Boston was exactly what I needed. The people were kind but not intrusive. My neighbors said hello but didn't pry. My coworkers were welcoming but not competitive. It was just easy and that was what I needed more than anything. I found the market I liked, and a coffee shop that made perfect Americanos, a deli for soup and bar to get a beer after work. All within a two minute walk from my apartment. Kate and I facetimed daily, Ray was thrilled to have a "homebase" so close to Fenway and mom was coming to visit for Thanksgiving. Everything was falling into place. Except for one thing… Christain. I missed him terribly. Countless times I would pick up the phone to call him only to chicken out. I had written dozens of unsent emails. I wondered if he thought about me as much as I thought about him. Somehow I knew he was. Flynn had connected me with a therapist in Boston. I was seeing him twice a week. The trauma from the night at Escala had resulted in PTSD. I had been taking some meds and that mixed with the therapy and the new environment was working wonders. I was sleeping and eating and working. Everyday I inched closer to being myself again. Olivia and I would Skype a few times a week. She was doing so well. I could see the light coming back into her eyes. It was hard being so far from her but it was also the right thing for everyone.

It was a Sunday morning and I was making myself some tea and toast. I didn't have anything planned for the day other than some shopping. I needed some curtains for the back window and I wanted some fresh flowers. I wish I had a car so I could do some exploring but that would have to wait for a few months. I wanted to save some money first. Christain had offered me money - a lot of money but I couldn't accept it. I was very happy to be back to shopping at TJ Maxx again. Happy that I bought My sofa seconds hand from LetGo. Happy that I used a coupon at Moe's for my burrito. I was almost done with my tea when there was a soft knock at my door. I felt a jolt of excitement. I didn't have any deliveries scheduled today and no friends to come visit. My first thought was of Christain and a deep seeded hope that it was him at the door. I practically ran across my apartment to the door and opened it with a broad smile.

"Hello, Ana." Taylor stood in my door way. It was the first time I had ever seen him in anything but a suit He was dressed in a white Tee-Shirt and well worn jeans.

"Taylor!" I embraced him in an enthusiastic hug. I didn't really get to say goodbye to him or Gail before I left. "It is so great to see you. Please come in." We exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes. Gale was in her third trimester. They were having a boy. We talked about my move and my job. The new apartment. We talked about everything except Christian.

"I guess you are wondering why I am here?"

"A little."

"I don't work for Christian anymore."

"What?"

"A few weeks ago he stepped down as CEO of Grey Enterprises. He fired his whole security team. He bought a boat and set sail. No one has heard from him since." I was in complete and utter shock. "He asked me to do one last thing for him so that's why I am here." He handed me an envelope and a key with a sailboat keychain. "Wanda is parked out front, Ana. She is completely rebuilt and runs like a dream." I couldn't believe it, after all this time I had my Wanda back. Even from a distance Christian knew exactly what I needed.

"I can't believe this, Taylor. How could he just walk away from everything and everyone."

"He was in bad shape after you left, Ana. I am not saying that to upset you. You did the right thing by leaving. We all think so. But he struggled. Plus thee was the media and all that nonsense. I just needed some space. He is going to be okay. He knows how to manage a sailboat better than , Gale and I are in New York now. I am working for Gideon Cross. Another batshit crazy millionaire. If you need anything we are only a few hours away."

"You're in New York. wow. Things have really changed." He stayed a little longer and he showed me all the bells and whistles that Wanda now had. The heated seats would come in handy when winter hit that was for sure. I sat on my second hand sofa and opened the envelope. The sight of his handwriting brought tears to my eyes.

Dear Ana,

I love you and I will always love you. I know I can't ask for you to wait for me. I know I have no right. But I am going to do it anyway. I am leaving for a while. I need to be alone and far from everything. I need to work on all the snakes in my head once and for all. I will come back and when I do I am coming for you.

Laters, Baby.

I felt an intense sense of sadness mixed with hope as my mind flashed back to a time with Olivia…

"Ana please, just read me the story…

"Olivia, you won't learn if you don't try."

"Please Ana, we can try more tomorrow. Just read to me…my mommy used to read to me sometimes…please Ana."

"Come boy. Come and play. I am too old and sad to play." said the boy. "I want a boat that will take me far away from here. Can you give me a boat? Cut down my trunk and make a boat." said the tree. "Then you can sail away… and be happy."

And so the boy cut down the trunk and made a boat and sailed away. And the tree was happy…but not really.

One year later:

I stood outside her apartment. Wanda parked out front. I could hear the music playing and a dog barking. The smell of tacos permeating from under the door. I knocked and the dog began to bark louder. I heard her voice for the first time in a year. It was the same as it sounded in my head. The sound of the locks clicking and the squeak as she opened the door. Her eyes went wide when she saw me. Shock and awe. My stomach dropped at the sight of her, more beautiful than my memory could allow.

"Hello, Ana."

I started this story in 2013 and for years left it unfinished. I wanted to tie up some lose ends and finish up some of the foreshadowing and plot points and I had worked on over the years. If you want me to continue with Part Two of this story please review. If this chapter gets 100 reviews I will commit to completing part two and seeing it to the end. If I move forward it will be a HEA love story. If I don't think the interest is there I will mark this story complete. I hope you all enjoy the conclusion! So this very well could be my last FSOG FF update. I want to thank everyone who stuck by me over these many years. It has been quite a journey with FSOG and I am grateful for all of it. Laters, baby.

XOXO PPP