My stomach dropped at her refusal. I don't know what possessed me to ask her. It wasn't something I was planning or even thinking about. It just happened. The words were coming out of my mouth before I could even think. This was not like me at all.

"Ana! Wait!" I called out to her, uneasy on my feet as I stood and tried to run after her, but my feet wouldn't move the way I wanted them to.

"Christian, let her go," Jose shouted as he grabbed me by the arm, pulling me back. I turned quickly and pushed him off of me. He stumbled back but didn't fall and was back on me in an instant. Fast little fucker.

"Nothing you say right now is going to help. Let her go. You can talk to her in the morning when you both sober up," he yelled, trying to subdue me with Elliot's help.

"Fuck you, Jose. You just want her for yourself."

"You couldn't be more wrong. I want Ana to be happy. That's all. And if you go after her right now, you might ruin this last chance she is giving you."

"Bro, listen to him. You're wasted, Ana is wasted. Everyone is just overreacting. Calm the fuck down," Elliot said as he tightened his grip. I pushed them both off of me, stumbling across the patio and tripping on the stairs. I was seriously drunk. The room was spinning. I can't remember a time I had even been like this. I sat on the stairs. I just needed a moment for things to settle.

"I think that pill I gave you for your headache might have been a mistake."

"What?!" I jumped up.

"Elliot, you didn't?" Kate whispered.

"What did you give me? You said it was like an aspirin."

"It was an oxy. A small one. I didn't think it would… do this. I thought it would just take the edge off. I am so sorry." I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. I took two steps towards him, never breaking eye contact.

"Christian, I am so sorry. I take them all the time. I wasn't thinking. I just wanted you to get out of your head and have a good time."

"A good time?! Go to hell, Ethan. Fuck this and fuck you." I stumbled out of the club and got an Uber, leaving my friends behind.

I didn't want to go to Mexico. I didn't want to be around a lot of people. I didn't want to deal with the drinking and the parties and all of Kate's silly plans. I didn't want to have to put on a mask and pretend everything was fine. But I went because Ana would be there and because my brother asked me to. I told Flynn I didn't want to go, but he told me that I should. That I should allow myself the frivolity of a beach vacation with my family. To let go and enjoy myself. To eat and drink and relax. So I did. And now look at the cluster fuck of my life.

I drank too much too quickly. I hadn't had a drink the entire time I was on the boat and only a few since I had been back. My tolerance was weakened. Tequila shots were a mistake. This is why I can't ever allow myself to get out of control. I knew the pill Elliot gave me was more than just an aspirin, but I didn't think it was an oxy but my head was splitting. He was always messing around with pills and drugs. He was so casual about it. I should have known better. It was a mess, and I just wanted to get back to the villa and talk to Ana. I hope that this one stupid night didn't ruin all the progress we had made.

I had finally gotten to a point where I felt balance. Ana and I were no longer a boat at sea rocking back and forth, a prisoner to the waves. We had made it to dry land. We got to the villa, and everything was dark. I ran up the stairs and found her room empty and all her belongings gone. She left.

I couldn't believe it. The airport was an hour and a half away, and it had been at least thirty minutes since Ana ran out of the club. I picked up my phone and called her; it went straight to voicemail. I sent her a text, but nothing. I ran downstairs and hoped that the Uber had not left. It would take at least 20 minutes to get another one.

"Fuck."

I ran out front, but the car was gone. I called Ana's phone a dozen times and sent as many messages. Crickets. I was going crazy but trying to remain calm. It was nearly 4:30 am. I called the airline, and there were only two flights that she could possibly be on. One to California that left at 6:00 am and one to New York that was leaving at 6:15. I booked myself the next commercial flight at 9:15 am to New York, then I called Taylor. He had not heard from her but would let me know if he did. Taylor was the only logical choice Ana could make. And it gave me peace to know that's where she was going. There was nothing more I could do but wait for her to reach out. I was boarding the flight when she finally did.

"I am safe. I'm in NY. I don't want you to worry. I just need some space. I'll reach out when I am ready. Please don't be angry."

I texted her back immediately. "Ana, I'm so sorry. I know I messed up, and you need time. I'm not angry. Please just call me."

I landed in Kennedy and called Taylor immediately. "I spoke to Ana. She's staying with a friend in NY." His voice was tight, and I could tell he was holding something back. "What friend?"

"Christian, it's not really my place. If Ana wanted you to know where she was, she would tell you."

"WHAT FRIEND?" He was silent.

"Fine. I'm getting a cab, and I will be at your place within the hour."

xxx

Gideon and I made our way through the lobby of his building with a belly full of ramen and sleep on our minds. Everything felt so familiar but so strange. I hadn't slept in 24 hours and was exhausted. Gideon came into my life a few weeks after I moved to Boston. I was visiting Taylor and Gail after their son was born. He had just broken up with Eva, the love of his life and I had just ended things with Christian. And through that heartbreak we formed a friendship. Our broken hearts aligned perfectly. And I was able to get an insight into Christian's mind through Gideon and he was able to get and insight into Eva's through mine. There was a lot of healing done in those long late night conversations and phone calls.

"It's good to have you back here, Kid," Gideon said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "It's good to be back. I just wish it was under better circumstances," I sighed, resting my body against his as we waited for the elevator. "Christian made a mistake. God knows I have made a million of them myself. You just need to give yourself some time and forgive him. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal. A drunken proposal…" I interrupted him.

"It's not the proposal, really; it's the disregard of my feelings. To ask me to marry him again after everything that happened. I thought we had made more progress than that. I don't know what he was thinking."

"He wasn't thinking. He was just living."

"Ana!" I heard my name being called in the distance, and my entire body froze. Of course, he was here. Of course, he would come after me. Gideon and I both turned around slowly as the voice got closer. Christian's eyes met mine, and I could see his shoulders relax in relief, and then his eyes locked with Gideon's, and his whole demeanor changed. In an instant, the old Christian was back—the shoulders rose, the chest stretched, the eyes sharpened. It was a true metamorphosis and I was stunned.

"Grey," Gideon said in a tone of voice I didn't recognize. His stance also changed, his blue eyes darkened and his jaw clenched. His arm around my shoulder tightened drawing me closer to him. As it happened Christian took a step closer.

"Cross," Christian said curtly. "Ana, can we talk for a moment?" His voice softened when he said my name and as much as I wanted to talk to him, I couldn't. I wasn't ready.

"No, we can't. I'm exhausted. I haven't slept in over 24 hours. I need some rest."

"Please, Ana. Just a few minutes."

"She said not now, Grey. Why don't you let her get some sleep? Get some for yourself too. And you can both talk in the morning." Christian's jaw clenched; his hands tightened into fists at his side. I knew he wanted to punch Gideon square in the face.

"Fine. Tomorrow morning." The elevator doors opened, and we all stood there for a moment. Gideon put his hand in the door, holding it open. "We can meet for breakfast. I will call you in the morning." I spoke softly and turned into the elevator with Gideon right behind. We were both shocked when Christian joined us as the doors closed.

"What are you doing?" I asked, completely shocked.

"I'm staying at Taylor's. He offered me his spare room since you're not using it." His voice was seething with anger as he spoke. We all stood there in silence, the longest minute of my life. I felt so small starting between these two giants. Finally, the elevator opened at Taylor's floor, and Christian got off. "See you tomorrow, Ana. Cross." He nodded, and the doors closed. I leaned back against the wall, my legs shaking.

"He's pissed," Gideon laughed.

"This is not funny."

"It could have been worse. I know him. He can be a real prick when he wants to be."

"So can you, Gideon." The elevator door opened to the penthouse.

"So can I. You know, Ana, this is the same elevator where we first met and where you first kissed me." I gasped. It was true we did share our first kiss in the elevator. It was New Year's Eve. I had come to the city to watch the ball drop. And after many months of support and friendship there was a spark that built between us. It was the first time I had wanted to kiss anyone since Christian.

"Excuse me! I didn't kiss you. You kissed me."

"Tomato, Tomato." He chuckled.

We went back to his apartment, and I slept for what felt like ten days. I woke up in the guest room of Gideon's penthouse, disoriented. It was not the first time I had woken up there. I checked my phone. It was 8:30 am. I took care of my morning business and shuffled into the kitchen. It smelled like Gideon's cologne and fresh-brewed coffee.

"Ahhhh, she wakes." He was standing in the kitchen in black dress trousers, a matching vest, pale blue shirt, and blue tie. He looked great. He smelled great. To look at him you wouldn't know all the horrors he had endured. All the pain. All the trauma. He fought so hard to keep his demons at bay. He was a beautiful man inside and out. "Do you want some coffee?"

I nodded yes and sat at the island. "What are you all dressed up for?"

"It's Monday morning, Kid. Some of us work for a living." I wrapped my fingers around the hot cup and breathed in deeply before taking a sip. Yes, this is what I needed, coffee.

"Good morning, Ana," Taylor said with a broad smile as he walked into the room. I squealed with excitement and gave him a huge hug.

"It's so good to see you, Ana. Gail made your favorite breakfast. She's downstairs waiting for you." I hugged him again.

"I'll go get dressed!" Gail made the best cinnamon swirl pancakes. My stomach growled in anticipation.

"Sir, Mr. Grey is here and he'd like to speak with you." And then my stomach dropped.

"With me?" Taylor nodded. "This should be good."

"Gideon don't. I'll go. It's really me he wants to speak to."

"No, I think I know what he wants to talk about, and trust me, Ana, it has nothing to do with you."