"Nonsenssssse! You are…are a darling!" Crowley declared before taking another shot, his twentieth one or so. He had lost count around thirteen, but he was sure he was up to twenty something. "Look at you! Beautiful featuresss, like my angel…" he burped, "angel over here, gorgeous eyes, and your hair isss," he gestured towards his own, "...iss…we redheads have to sssstick together…y- you know what I'm sssaying?"

Cassi nodded through glassy eyes. "I…" she hiccupped, "most…most definitely do not." She reached for the bottle on the table but unfortunately for her, Aziraphale placed it out of her reach. "You…" she pointed at Aziraphale, "you," she mimicked Crowley's burp, "su-suck."

Crowley lowered his glasses a little and set his eyes on the angel to his right. "Ssshe isss right, you do sssu-suck at timessss."

Aziraphale had partaken in a few drinks but had stopped once his mind rationed with his body how bad of an idea it was for him and Crowley to get drunk in front of Cassi. Especially when trying to figure out if she even knew what she was and given by that little miracle, it was definitely looking like it; someone had to be the adult. "Dearest, I think you've had enough. You too, young lady."

"Cassssssi…Cassssi," Crowley nudged Aziraphale, "you want to kn-kn-know what…what he did to me?" Cassi rapidly nodded. "He…he le-left me for…for m-monthsss after…after I-I practically con-confessssed to…to him…"

"Ssssuck!" She pointed an accusatory finger at Aziraphale. "You-you're all alike…you…you men….one…one day I'll find my own Mr. Rochester an-and you…you'll all be sssso-sssorry." She slapped her hand on her chest. "There is…there is just ssso…so much love in here…it…it makes m-me want to carve it out, you know? My heart. Why…why do…do I lo-love so much?"

Crowley pouted and shook his head. "Now why you…you gogogogo…get her all upsssset…" he slapped his angel's back, "G-go one then! Make her sssssmile!" A tear slid from Cassi's left eye. "Awe," Crowley got up from his seat, sat next to his miracle and placed and arm around her, "you just wait and see, it-it might…might take millenia but…but ssssomeone will come al-along."

Cassi nodded one again. "Oh no."

"What's wrong?" Aziraphale rose as well and sat on her other side.

"And with this, I bid thee adieu." Crowley and Aziraphale were confused for a millisecond and within that millisecond, Cassi face planted on the table.

Aziraphale grunted from annoyance and raised her head, placing it on his shoulder. "Honestly, just like her father." He gently slapped Cassi's cheek trying to wake the poor drunken girl. "Crowley, sober up. I need your help."

Crowley did as he was told, leaving a bitter after taste in his mouth. "By father you mean you, yes? I'm perfectly capable of holding my own." He grinned.

It was not all strange for a 6ft guy who wore shades in the dim club, dressed all in black, to carry a mini version of himself out of the club. It was a miracle no one seemed to mind or notice. "Where to then?" He asked Aziraphale after placing Cassi in the back of the Bentley.

Aziraphale looked back and sighed. "Be best if we took her home."

"Right and where is that?"

"Did you see that? The little miracle she performed. That's bad."

"Depending on your point of view. You say bad, I say what a proud moment."

"Yes, well, if heaven can detect my miracles, I'm sure they can detect hers."

Crowley paused and looked back as well. "Oh, I did not think of that." He raised an eyebrow. "You don't 'posse that's how they found out about her?"

"I'm not sure. There was nothing in the file suggesting how they managed to discover her existence. I'll know more once I go back."

Crowley's neck almost broke as he turned to Aziraphale. "Go back?"

"I left heaven on the ruse I had to check in on Muriel. I'm still the archangel."

"I'm sorry, when were you planning on telling me this?"

"I rather thought you knew."

"How in the world would I have bloody known?" Crowley voice rose the more his mind began to realize Aziraphale might leave him again. "Still heaven's pet I see!"

"That's not true. I am just going to investigate some more."

"And then what? 'So sorry, god, changed my mind about the job, see you later?' You and I know that is not how it works!"

"Heaven…hell…" Cassi mumbled in her sleep, "ducks…" Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged looks. "Flaming sword…pocket…wahoo…"

"What the hell is she saying?" Aziraphale questioned.

"I'm not sure but she doesn't get that from me."

"We'll take her back to your flat and she'll sober up there."

Crowley started the car and rolled his eyes. "Cheers for using our daughter as leverage. Wouldn't have thought of it myself."

"I didn't. I am not."

It didn't take long to get to Crowley's flat and everything seemed all fine except for one minor inconvenience, something felt…off. "Stay in here. Lock the doors." Crowley instructed before he took off to investigate.

Aziraphale did as he was told while a heavy feeling fell upon the atmosphere. The angel could only hold his breath until a light tap on the window gained his attention. "Hello again, Aziraphale."

Aziraphale gulped at the sight of a familiar elderly demon, "Shax, wha-what bring you here?"

"I could ask you the same question. Last I heard you were the supreme Archangel, taking over Gabriel as I took over Lord Beelzebub." Shax's voice sounded muffled as Aziraphale's senses told him it was best to leave the windows up.

"Oh, did you? Congratulations are in order."

"Where is he?"

"Gosh, there is a lot of hes in the world. You would have to be a little more specific."

"Don't play dumb with me. Crowley. Where is he? We came to have a chat with him, and he wasn't in. Odd since he's been locked up since you left."

"Oh? I wouldn't know about that." He chuckled nervously.

Shax took the angel in and noticed the unmoving girl in the backseat. "Who's that?"

"Who?"

Shax growled in annoyance. "The girl in the back."

"Oh, her." Aziraphale smiled politely. "A girl I found…drunk. Doing my good deed for the day. I am an angel after all."

"Shaaax,". Crowley waltzed from behind, "what the devil are you doing here?"

The new ruler of hell raised her head. "Crowley." Before she could get closer to him, Crowley managed to slip into the car and locked the door behind him. Shax lowered her head and tapped on the driver's side window. "I see you're with the angel again."

"Wha- what me? Nah, just found him on the side of the road. Felt bad for the poor fellow."

"The girl?"

"Girl?" Shax pointed at the back seat. "Oh, erm, I don't question what an angel brings into the car. It's their business."

Shax narrowed her eyes and clicked her tongue. "Listen, we have an open position for you as a duke of hell. All you need to do is find me whatever heaven has been up to lately. Something about Nephilims running amok. Help us and we will forget all about your side piece. You can easily infiltrate."

"Yo-you do know I'm here, yes?" Aziraphale was dumbfounded. Surely demons were not this stupid, were they?

Crowley started the car and shook his head. "Nephilims?" He turned to Aziraphale. "You heard anything about that?" Aziraphale shook his head. "Oomph, can't help you there and he is the supreme Archangel. If he doesn't know, then, I'm not sure what is happening. Nephilims you say? Nasty business. Humans with demons, angels with humans…demons with angels," he shuttered, "can't imagine." He waved before he placed his foot down on the pedal, leaving a confused Shax behind.

Aziraphale placed his hand on Crowley's arm for support and maybe comfort. "This isn't good. If they know about it, heaven must know that I know."

"Fuck."

"Don't go to the bookshop. It will be the first place they'll look for me."

"Your lot is mental."

"Yes, well, your lot is…not too bright." Crowley could certainly not argue with that. "We can go to the cottage! Back in 2020, during the lockdown," Aziraphale began after seeing Crowley's inquisitive look, "you see, I purchased us a cottage so we could isolate together. It was an impulse buy and well, I lost my nerve before I could ask you."

Crowley glanced over. "You mean to tell me that random phone call during lockdown, where you rambled on about cake…you were going to ask us to move in together?" Aziraphale's guilty expression confirmed it. "Honestly, angel, you can be infuriating at times." Aziraphale caressed Crowley's cheek and placed his palm on his mouth, giving the demon a chance to kiss it. "Right." He cleared his throat. "What are we going to do about our little drunken miracle? We can't just kidnap her."

"No, we really can't. Oh! Perhaps her phone has some clues on where she resides. We can stay with her, explain the situation somehow, and we shall take it from there." He reached towards the backseat and very carefully took out Cassi's phone from her back pocket. "How would I…?" Crowley snapped his fingers, and the lock screen on Cassi's phone, requesting a password, turned to her home screen. "Thank you."

After some extensive digging and spotting some pictures no parent should see of their child, they deciphered Cassi's flat location in King's Cross. It was a nice area and a seemingly decent flat. Hers was on the top floor, tucked away cozily in a corner. By another miracle of the night, her door was unlocked, and they were greeted by a gray, chonky Persian. Crowley placed Cassi on her bed while Aziraphale took the time to witness how their daughter lived. The flat was not at all as grand as Crowley's but had a reasonable space to it. She had countless bookcases of fictional classics, one certain shelf dedicated to different copies of Jane Eyre. She had a telescope by a window with books of astrology placed near it. One was left open with a notebook on top of it, with some scribbles of some nebulas and galaxies. Crowley noted she had glowing stars on her bedroom ceiling with decals of planets throughout.

Crowley's plants were not the only beautiful ones in London as Cassi's could easily match his. There was one, however, that was beginning to gain a spot. One menacing look from the demon, and the plant coward behind a bigger one. "Dearest?" Aziraphale called from his spot in the living room. "What do you make of this?" Above the sofa, there was a map of the United Kingdom. Cardiff, St Davids, Port Talbot, Limerick, Youghal, Armagh, Glassgow, Ayr, and many more were scratched off with a red marker.

The demon removed his glasses and inspected the map carefully and his mind instantly knew what had occurred. "She's running from something."

"Someone." The duo turned towards the bedroom to find Cassi standing by the open doorframe.


During the 2020 lockdown, Neil Gaiman, Michael Sheen and David Tennant got together to record an audio script of Aziraphale and Crowley coping with the lockdown. I find that some Good Omens fans, especially the new ones, do not know about it. If you haven't heard it, you may find it on Youtube by searching Good Omens, Lockdown. It's both cute AF and adorable. The audio has been the inspiration to countless Good Omens lockdown fics. It is considered canon as it was writting by Neil Gaiman himself with both leading actos having it comfirmed as canon.