A little bit of preface. The following chapter makes multiple references to the Cosmere, the literary universe created by Brandon Sanderson, spoiling a shit load of things from his books. If you haven't read the first three Mistborn books and the Stormlight Archive, then I suggest you do so before reading this chapter because, as I stated earlier, many things will be spoiled and it will seriously ruin your enjoyment of the books. If you are already familiar with the Cosmere, great! If you don't care about the books and want to read this chapter anyway, more power to you!
After five heartbeats of complete silence, the Eight let out loud curses and groans. The weapons they had honed forward now dropped slack to their sides.
"It's fucking Hoid isn't?" Nikki asked and Elizabeth and Eleanor nodded. "Oh for fuck sake, again?!"
"Yes, again," Eleanor chuckled, very much enjoying the Eight's rising annoyance. "Quite a rumbustious little bugger, isn't he?"
"Annoying fuckwit cunt seems like a more appropriate description," Laura rolled her eyes. "How many times have the wanker got out of the Cosmere again?"
"This month alone, four," Lita frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "He walked into the White Tower and almost got Balefire by Moiraine. Then he snuck around the Six Duchies, Seven Duchies now I guess, and stalked Bee for a bit. After that he made a fool of himself trying to infiltrate the court of Valinor, Galadriel almost used Nenya on him. And then we have this latest achievement, I mean, what the hell was he thinking come here of all places. Is he stupid or just that hubristic?"
"A little bit of both I think," Elizabeth chuckled before quirking a brow at Lita, "he's not your favorite character, is he?"
"God, he's so annoying!" Lita huffed. "He always talks in circle, being all witty and cryptic like a bad combination of Tony Stark and Yoda, while accomplishing nothing in the process besides leaving behind more questions!"
"That's basically his character dude," Tangmo held up his hand defensively when Lita narrowed her eyes on him. "Hey, don't be mad, I agree with you, he's just a smartass who uses quips and vagueness to hide the fact that he's as blind as everybody else. Some people thinks that charming, some people don't, we just happen to fall into the latter category."
"If only he had been more proactive with his action, instead of running his mouth," Nikki sneered. "He's more a politician than a helpful wildcard, all talk and no play and the Cosmere suffer for it."
"He's doing his best," Eleanor shrugged, "can't fault him for actually trying to do the right thing."
"Good intention can cause as much damage as deliberate malice," Henry waved at the opaque glass, "case and point. Despite Master's warning, he had to go and pull this sort of crap. He might have effectively fucked the Cosmere over because of this."
"Yeah, can we put the character assassination on hold of a moment and concentrate on the problem at hand?" Tangmo cut in, because although he really enjoyed bashing Hoid, things were not exactly moving forward. "Yo Trazyn, you said he didn't come alone, are they all from the same universe?"
"Indeed," judging by how stiff his posture has become, combined with the minute lowering of his head, Trazyn was obviously glaring at the glass, "a very troublesome bunch. If the Master had not explicitly told me to capture them, I would have personally turned them to ashes. Still, I have to admit they put up a decent fight, managing to lightly damage one of my foot soldier. The repair was completed while you were en route."
"Whoa, can you be any more condescending dude?" Tangmo smirked at Trazyn.
"I believe I have achieved the perfect balance," Trazyn pointed his staff at the glass pane. "Let's go meet our guests."
"Wait," Yuki held up her hand, stopping Elizabeth and Eleanor from turning the glass transparent. "Can you make this into a two-way mirror?"
"Yes we can," Eleanor nodded, "but why?"
"Curiosity, for one thing," Yuki went on. "And considering how characters from the Cosmere like to talk, a lot, I say we listen in on them first before making our introduction. They might reveal useful information in the heat of the argument."
"A wise and most inspired course of action," Trazyn was very receptive of the suggestion and Yuki beamed at the Necron. "It is always very educational to see one's true nature raw and naked, fear and desperation are potent stimulus for honesty. Very well then, Elizabeth, Eleanor, please do as Yuki requested."
"Christ almighty dude, this isn't a zoo, and Hoid and his friends aren't animals," Erik protested and went red in the face when Laura, very loudly, groaned at him. "This isn't right, we're suppose treat them like allies, not some stray dogs."
"Would you relax? We're not doing cosmetic test on them, we're only spying, jeez!" Damien said the same moment the wall turned transparent, seamless and soundless. The reveal was met with an absolute, abject silence from the Eight, but this time the soundless vacuum stretched on, and on, uninterrupted by bellowing declaration. The reaction got so bad that Trazyn had to mimic coughing to wrench the Eight out of their collective stupor. Damien, being a superhuman Astartes, was the first to recover his motor function, and slowly pointed his finger forward. "What…the fuck…am I seeing?"
"Pay up," Elizabeth held out her hand and Eleanor slammed several dollar bills on her up turned palm with a grumble. "Told you they would freeze up and not go ham."
"This surprises you," Trazyn looked at the Eight sharply, slow bobbing of heads answered him, "why?"
"Besides Hoid, four of those people are not supposed to be here," Henry went on slowly as the four aforementioned individuals, oblivious to the fact that they were being watched, formed an angry circle around Hoid, the queen's Wit was trying to calm them down. "Those four are dead. Deader than dead too, as in, they definitely should not be walking around like that."
"Hmm, interesting," Trazyn stroke his chin, very intrigued by the current development. "Who are they?"
"Let me preface by saying that the Cosmere, the universe these people came from, is a galaxy like the Milky Way, with many stars and solar systems, each with its own stories and rules and magic. The inhabitants however are still primitive by our standard," Tangmo put on a scholarly tune, adjusted the collar of his awesome commissar coat until he was neat and spiffy, then pointed at the first individual, a woman. "That is Vin, the supreme Mistborn from the planet Scadrial, Empress of Luthadel, and she seem very angry with Hoid. Don't let the tatter cape fool you, she's dangerous." Tangmo's finger drifted to the white clad man standing beside Vin. "The dude in white is Elend Venture, Vin's husband and Emperor of Luthadel. Despite being almost as powerful as Vin he's an idealistic idiot who prefers talking over fighting. I don't like him." The Thai titled his head a bit when he stabbed his digit at the third person, who happens to be glowing. "Okay, now I kinda figured out how Hoid was able to pull off this trans-dimensional bullshit. The bald Tibetan looking motherfucker is Sazed, now a god known as Harmony after he took the shards of Ruin and Preservation into himself, basically he wields the power life and death, sort of. Dude is usually a pacifist, but godly ascension changes people." Finally, Tangmo rested his index finger on the last woman. "Before anybody asks, yes, that is not a human. Her name is Eshonai, she's a xeno called the Singer, they can change their physical form to fit whatever task they're doing. Judging by the bio-carapace, Eshonai is still adopting her Warform, which make her something of a muscle for this group, although Vin more than sufficiently filled that role." With the introduction done, Tangmo turned to face the Necron overlord and the Bioshock heroines, thumb stabbing at the cowering Hoid. "And like what Henry said before, everyone in there beside Hoid is supposed to be dead, Sazed too, because he's not part of the land of the living anymore."
"I should also mention that a parasitic daemon had latched itself on to the man you called Hoid," Trazyn honed his metallic index finger on the queen's Wit, specifically the strange blotch of geometric pattern writhing with lifelike animation on his right shoulder. "From the initial reading I've made, the relationship appears to be symbiotic for the moment."
"That's not a daemon Trazyn, it's a Spren, and her name is Design," Lita continued from where Tangmo left off. "They are sentient being that live in the Cognitive Realm, a place that connect every planet in the Cosmere, the Spren and others of their kind are projections of things and emotions in the real world, made manifest into whimsical forms, like the one you're seeing right now."
"…So they're daemons living in the Warp, powered by the thought of sentient beings inside the material world," Trazyn deadpanned and holy shit, the Necron made a legitimate observation. "Although the terms are different, the Warp and this Cognitive Realm is the same thing."
"Okay fine, if you want to simplify everything and take away all the nuance of the Cosmere," Lita huffed testily.
"That pretty much explains how they all ended up here in the first place," Elizabeth added. "Sazed is a god that lives in the Spiritual Realm, he's more than powerful enough to create a portal to another reality and resurrect dead people."
"Actually…" Erik spoke up. "Sazed might be a god but he made it very clear he can't bring back dead people."
"Then how do you explain all of this?" Elizabeth quirked a brow, "I mean, Mr. Master confirms that they're the genuine article."
"Yeah, and that's what causing all of us to scratch our head," Erik then proceed to scratch his head. "See, Sazed live in the Spiritual Realm, but the dead are in the Beyond."
"Blimey, you're right," Eleanor nodded thoughtfully but confusion quickly came over her, "so what's the difference between the Spiritual Realm and the Beyond?"
"One is heaven, and the other is super heaven I guess?" Tangmo shrugged. "Regardless, neither Sazed nor Hoid have the power of resurrection. So what the fuck is happening here?"
"We are wasting time."
The Eight promptly shut the hell up when none other than Vin, the most powerful Mistborn to have ever existed, shouldered Hoid aside and stomped up to the glass pane, totally unaware of the audiences on the other side. Coming to a stop in front of the seamless barrier, her cloak fluttering with lively animation, making her look super cool and badass, Vin groaned at the offending obstacle to her freedom and started running her hands over the polished surface. Unbeknownst to her, Vin was touching the spot where Laura's face and chest were, the British inquisitor shot Tangmo a very suggestive grin.
"Lady Mistborn, I must ask that you exercise restraint and not act rashly," Hoid piped up, his timbre fae and a little theatric. "This must be a time for calm and logic, violence will not solve our current problem."
"He's right Vin," Tangmo couldn't help but snort when Vin groaned audibly at Sazed, perpetually reasonable in his statement, friendly and kindly in that parental way one find in a wise elder. "The lord of this fortress is powerful, and his followers equally so. It would be wiser for us to tread carefully."
"So we are to sit here and wait at his pleasure?" Eshonai demanded and joined Vin, the Listener shared the Mistborn's impatience. "We're prisoners, and I don't like the idea of waiting for our jailer to make the first move."
"But wait we must," Elend spoke up, doing an admirable job of putting up a tough façade. Vin was awe by the display, very pleased with her husband commanding countenance, while Eshonai, like Tangmo, wasn't that impressed by the highborn's kingly demeanor, it could use a little work. "In situation such as this, I believe it would be better if we talk to the lord of this realm, perhaps we can convince him to help us."
"Very well said my emperor, you are indeed wise," Elend received Hoid's compliment with a smug smile, while Eshonai and Vin rolled their eyes. It was clear the queen's Wit was not the Listener and the Mistborn favorite person. "But I am more worry about the metal creature's associates."
"Metal creature?"
"Are these associates like him?" Vin asked, completely unaware of the increasingly miffed Trazyn standing not three inches away from her, separated only by a sheet of glass. "Are they also made of iron?"
"No, they're human, like you, me, Elend and Harmony. Sorry Eshonai my dear, we're everywhere it seems," Hoid bowed apologetically at the Listener, the attempt at levity was not well received. "Ah yes, I forgot you're as moody as Kaladin."
"I do not believe those two women are a threat to us," Sazed spoke up. "They were very friendly and polite."
"Who? Oh, you mean the sisters accompanying the overlord? I've never seen them before, so I doubt they're important," now it was the Bioshock heroines' turn to glare at Hoid, Elizabeth's fingers drummed an agitated tune on the keyboard while Eleanor cracked her knuckles, electricity and fire danced across her hands. "No dear Harmony, I'm talking about a group called the Eight."
"The Eight? Not a very creative name, is it?" Elend chuckled lightly. "Why, with such an uninspired title, I don't believe we have anything to fear from them."
"Oh Elend, I have always admired your optimism, even when it is unfounded," Hoid chided Elend friendlily. "I was unfortunate enough to run into six of their illustrious members, and although a few can be persuaded to clemency and reasonability, I found them to be boorish and extremely mean spirited, bullies of both the physical and mental persuasion."
"I don't like bullies," Vin said lowly, her heroic side flaring. "And I know how to deal with people like them."
"Wait, so Hoid haven't met Tangmo and Laura yet?" Erik was grinning ear to ear as the Eight, Trazyn and the Bioshock heroines turned to the Thai commissar and the British inquisitor, the prevailing emotion was one of unbridled excitement. "Oh shit, this is going to be amazing, yo, breakout the popcorn!"
"Tangmo! Laura!" Damien placed his gigantic Astartes size armored hands on the Thai and the Brit's shoulders, squeezing companionably, a bit too companionably, fuck, that's gonna bruise to the bones. "Get in there and open a can of whoop ass on that smirking jackoff! We'll be cheering you guys on from this side of the fence, where it's safe."
"Yep, throw the normal humans into the grinder first, classic Codex Astartes," Tangmo rolled his eyes with humor. "You're gonna swoop in at the last minutes and save our asses if something goes wrong?"
"And we'll look amazing doing it," Damien held up his thumbs then nudged his head at the glass prison. "You might want to hurry up, Vin's talking about breaking down the wall again."
"Hold your bloody horses, they're not going anywhere," Laura adjusted her awesome inquisitor coat and hat, eyeballing Vin all the while. "Damn she's cute, isn't she cute mate? I mean, my expectation was high to begin with, and I'm happy to say that it has been shattered."
"Bro, seriously, can you please not be ecchi for once, we have a fucking reputation to keep man!" Tangmo made sure his awesome commissar cap was straight and dashing. "Anyway, how are we doing this?"
"Since this is the grim darkness of the forty second millennium, I say we keep in with the theme of Warhammer 40k, serious, brooding, and unabashedly evil," Laura said and the Eight all nodded their assent, Trazyn, Elizabeth and Eleanor though, groaned and shook their heads at the delay, not at all appreciating the power of the thespian art. "Let's put the fear of the God Emperor into them. Shouldn't be hard, the Cosmere is a kindergarten compared to this universe."
"Sounds good to me," Tangmo rolled his shoulders until it gave a satisfying pop. "But I think we can throw in our trademark humor, just to make sure things doesn't get too stale and edgy."
"Of course mate, having fun should always be our top priority," Laura held up her hand and Tangmo high fived it, both of them laughing with heart. "So, you ready?"
"The excitement is killing me," Tangmo and Laura closed rank until their shoulders were touching, beyond the glass pane Vin was already closing and opening her fist, warming up for the attack to come, "lord Trazyn, please open the glass, and make it silent and deadly."
Chuckling lowly, his timbre dark, the overlord of Solemnace complied.
"Regardless of whether or not these metal men can be negotiated with, the fact remains that we are their prisoners. I'm sorry Elend, Sazed, but we must…"
"Vin!"
Goddamn, Hoid was one fast motherfucker. Before any of the other occupants even knew what was happening, Jasnah's little boyfriend had taken Vin by the arm and wrenched her back from Tangmo and Laura, placing himself heroically in front of the Mistborn.
"Impressive showing," Laura made sure her tone and posture was appropriately aristocratic, the gaze she gave Hoid and Vin conveyed nothing but haughtiness and superiority, a persona she used when her mood was especially dark. "Sadly, you are not free of your prison."
Tangmo and Laura, their steps falling in sync, the clicking tune of metal rimmed boots melodic, stepped inside the cell, the glass pane closing before any of the Cosmere characters can react. The Thai commissar looked at the digital watch on his wrist, and said, "good evening ladies and gentlemen, I hope you find the accommodation to your liking."
"Yes, as prison goes, it is very homely," Elend tried to be his charming self and got a deadeye stare from Tangmo and Laura for the trouble. The highborn coughed nervously as the Thai and the Brit shifted their attention to Hoid.
"I believe this is the first time we have met," Tangmo and Laura stood at attention, shoulders squared and chests puffed, and snapped off sharp salutes. "Lord commissar Tangmo, attached to the 89th Cadian regiment, of the Immortal Spirit battlegroup, at your service."
"Lady inquisitor Laura of the Ordo Hereticus, charmed," Laura eased her stance and folded her arms across her chest, the unblinking regard she bestowed upon Hoid was having the intended effect of making him very uncomfortable. "I'm not one to waste time or words, so I'll get to the heart of the matter. You and your friends are in trouble of the most unprecedented magnitude."
"I did what I believed was right," Hoid detached himself from Vin and stood up straight, dusting off his black Wit uniform. "I only seek to help the Cosmere and stop Odium."
"This is not the first time you have ventured into places you were not meant too, despite the many warnings Master have given you," Tangmo went on, his commissariat timbre resounding clear across the interior. "Tell me, are you incapable of following simple instruction, or are you intellectually invalid somehow?"
"His intention was good," Sazed came to Hoid defense. "Although his method might be unorthodox and dangerous, master Hoid only seek the betterment of all within the Cosmere. Our enemies are strong, stronger than even me, and Hoid is the only person willing to risk his life to find a solution to the conflict."
"Divinity apparently have no positive effect on your intelligence," Laura chuckled lowly, blatantly ignoring the blistering glare Vin shot her way as she locked eyes with the serene Sazed, of course someone with a moniker of Harmony would not be bothered by an insult. "Personally Sazed, I expected better from you, to be roped into a trans-cosmic scheme by a jester of all things, shame on you."
"I made the choice on my own accord," Sazed continued without rancor, even sparing Laura a polite smile as he waved at Vin, Elend and Eshonai. "Without his help, I would never have been reunited with Vin and Elend, I would also never have met Eshonai, a most noble person from beyond Scadrial." Then, to the surprise of Tangmo and Laura, Sazed bowed at the Thai commissar and the British inquisitor. "If what we have done had angered you, then I humbly apologize."
"Did it ever occur to you that you might have just doomed not only Scadrial, not only Roshar, but the entirety of the Cosmere with your action?" Tangmo spoke up. "The black cosmos is not a friendly place, and curiosity rarely yields a positive result."
"And you know this?" Eshonai piped up, the Listener coming to stand beside Vin, the stark difference in height was comical.
"I do," Tangmo nodded. "Because me and my colleagues had traverse the infinity, and many of the discoveries we've made can hardly be called benign."
"But that is not the point of this conundrum," Laura cut in before Hoid can open his mouth. "I find myself rather confuse as to how all of you managed to not only come to this universe, but also break open the barrier separating the Spiritual Realm and the Beyond." She pointed at Sazed. "By your admission, such power is beyond your ability, and I do not believe for a second that Hoid can accomplish the deed."
"If you must know, it wasn't easy," Hoid declared with a huff. "But me and Harmony had help."
…Okay, that was not the information Tangmo and Laura wanted. The tag-team champ of the Eight made this abundantly clear when they fixed the squirming Hoid with psychotic, wide eye glares. Tangmo almost cracked a smile when he saw how he'd managed to unnerve Vin, Sazed, Elend and Eshonai also.
"I need you to be very explicit with the detail, Hoid," Tangmo bite off each words harshly as he and Laura took one threatening step toward Hoid. Gotta give it to the Cosmere jester, the man didn't budge. "Someone helped you break through the barrier between the Spiritual Realm and the Beyond?"
"Yes lord commissar," Sazed spoke up, seeing too late the facial signal Hoid was shooting his way, unsubtly telling the god to shut the hell up. "The undertaking would not have been successful without the help we've received."
"Who helped you?" Tangmo pressed on. "Is it a Cosmere native?"
"Well…on that subject, I must admit that I cannot be sure," Hoid's stuttering countenance turned sheepish, the man's nervous chuckle only serves to drive home how shit just went from zero to one hundred real quick. "See…"
"Talk Hoid," Tangmo growled. "Get to the point and spare us your frivolity."
"Oh, don't be so dramatic!" Hoid shot back, not one to allow his ego to get pounded. "And yes, me and Harmony had help from an individual who I suspect did not originate from the Cosmere. If anything, we can't even call him an individual, he's a bird, if you must know, a bird with feathers that gleamed iridescent sapphire."
"But we suspect his avian appearance is only a façade, put up for our benefit," Sazed added. "For I can feel that he is a being of great and immense power, very old and very wise, it was he who helped us reached the Beyond, easily coming up with the correct method to create a stable connection between the realms."
"A talking blue bird helped you," the shock on Tangmo and Laura's face must've been pronounced, because Vin narrowed her eyes suspiciously on them. "What did this bird call itself? Changer of Ways? Lord of Change? Or something along that line?"
"…Yes," Hoid admitted after a bout of hand wringing, making sure to avoid eye contact with Tangmo and Laura. "He calls himself the Changer…he was very polite and witty."
Many thoughts went through Tangmo's head in that moment, the foremost being to draw his bolt pistol and blast Hoid in the face, because holy fuck that apologetic smile, the sort that was practiced to perfection, was grating every fiber of his being. By the little twitch in the corner of her eye Laura must've had the same idea, although the Scotswoman would probably use her fists. After a few tense seconds, in which Vin, Elend and Eshonai braced their legs, ready for violence, while Sazed got this sad disappointed look on his face, Laura exhaled heavily and turned to Tangmo, no longer wearing the inquisitorial mask.
"Mate, I'm dropping the act," Laura told him. "I'm done with bloody Games of Throne and the Wire and True Detective."
"Same here dude," Tangmo agreed and pinched the bridge of his noise. "I'm being myself from this point on."
"With a healthy amount of Malcolm Tucker, Dave Chapple and Alan Shore thrown into the mix?"
"And an ass load of South Park and Rick and Morty, making the chance of survival drastic go down."
"I'm sorry, but what is happening…?"
"This is what you're fucking doing," the Cosmere characters gasped in unison from Tangmo's weaponization of the English language, his hand miming flapping lips. He then slammed his digits shut tight. "This is what I need you to be fucking doing."
"What my friend is trying to say, Hoid," Laura made sure her canines were at the forefront of her unhinged smile. Hoid was rooted to the spot, like a mouse mesmerized by a rearing cobra. "Is that you have massively fucked yourself up the arse, and as a consequence you have also fucked the Cosmere up the arse, nice going fuckwit!"
"Is the profanities necessary?!" Hoid demanded, extremely offended by Tangmo and Laura foul mouthed tirade. Like the denizen of Randland, the people of the Cosmere were extremely prudish when it came to language. "If you choose to speak like uncivilized savages, then I would prefer you to be dark and brooding like before."
"Nah dude, that was us being nice," Tangmo shook his head. "And now our conversation is about to get very animated, meaning me and Laura are gonna curb stomp your ass!"
"I believe we need to calm down," Elend slipped in beside Hoid. "There is no need for this to get ugly."
"Sit your ass down bitch boy before I decapitate you again, this time with my fucking foot!" Tangmo barked at the shock Elend then pointed at the snarling Vin. "And like before, your wife ain't gonna be able to save you!"
"I like to see you try!" Vin pulled free a pair of glass dagger. Eshonai slipped in beside her, ready for a fight despite being unarmed.
"The fuck is – bruv, are you serious, glass? Glass daggers, what in the blooming fuck?!" Laura laughed and Vin spun to face the British inquisitor, who then started pointing at her own chest. "Come on then love, give it a go, I dare you. I'll put you in a head lock and before you know it we'll be rolling across the ground." Laura's hungry, leering gaze made Vin baulked visibly. Giggling girlishly, Laura turned to Tangmo. "Hey mate, what hold should I put her in? She's skinny but I think she's flexible."
"I don't know, whatever it is you and Yuki do in bed," Tangmo shrugged then leaned closer to Laura. "FYI, sexual harassment complaints involving you just passed the two hundred mark, congratulation."
"Oh lovely," Laura rubbed her hands together, the gesture was seriously unsettling Vin. "Now where was I, oh yes, submission moves!"
"As funny as it would be to see Vin throw your stupid ass across the room with her pewter power, we're wasting time," Tangmo turned to the glass pane and flashed a series of hand signal. "Yo, get Hoid out of here, we need to talk to them."
The glass disappeared before any of the Cosmere main characters can react, Hoid managing only a shrilly squawk before Lita's immobilized his limbs with her Aeldari magic, allowing a dementedly cackling Damien, once again wearing his awesome Astartes helm, to snatch the queen's Wit away without a hassle. Vin, Elend and Eshonai were about to play the hero when Trazyn himself stepped inside the cell. The Cosmere characters wisely went still. The overlord of Solemnace was about to shut the glass pane when Tangmo held up his hand. "Hold up, get the Spren back in here, she need to know what is happening without Hoid spewing bullshits into her ears. Also, Elizabeth, Eleanor, can you join us please?"
"Very well then," Trazyn nodded, waved over the Bioshock heroines, and latched his metallic hand on Hoid's immobile shoulder. Pinching his thumb and forefinger, Trazyn dragged the writhing, chaotic symmetrical shape of Design the Cryptic free from Hoid, the Spren immediately took on a humanoid shape as she kicked and squirmed fiercely against the immovable Necron. When Elizabeth and Eleanor entered the room, Trazyn seamlessly closed the glass pane and causally, callously, threw Design away with the flick of the wrist, sending her bouncing across the floor before skidding to a stop between Sazed and Elend. The bald headed monk was reaching down to help when Design sprang back to her feet with a squeal and dashed for the glass pane.
"Don't hurt him!" The Spren started beating the seamless glass with her fists, the loyalty displayed was very admirable, "please don't hurt him!"
"Hey, hey calm down," Elizabeth grabbed Design's flailing arms and with a gentle, but determined application of force, slowly guided the shuddering Spren away from the glass. "We won't hurt him, I promise. He'll get an earful, but other than that he will not be harmed."
"He won't die at least," Laura's shit eating grin made Design squawked in distress, almost breaking free of Elizabeth's grip but the brunette managed to calm the Spren down again, all the while shooting the British inquisitor a displeased look.
"Not helping," Eleanor shook her head at Laura, who responded by blinking innocently.
"This is how we help people," Tangmo announced proudly, uncaring of the Cosmere characters less than enthusiastic reception, and waved his hand at the right side of the room. "And why in the hell are we all standing around for? There's a perfectly good dining table and comfy looking chairs over there. Come on!"
Without waiting for the Cosmere characters' response Tangmo led his crew to the table, the long heavy kind you usually see in a medieval throne room when a party was being thrown. As expected, Trazyn sat down at the head of the table like the overlord that he was, Tangmo and Laura took their place on his right, Elizabeth and Eleanor on the left. After he and his homies were done adjusting their clothes, Tangmo glanced up and saw that the Cosmere characters haven't move, petulantly rooted to the floor.
"You mind sitting down?" Laura quirked an annoyed brow at them, "we have very important things to discuss, so stop being difficult."
"Very well lady inquisitor," as Tangmo has expected it was Sazed who acted like an adult. The Cosmere characters were incredulous by this development, but Sazed remained steadfast in his commitment to the path of non-confrontation and diplomacy as he seated himself down at the other end of the table, opposite Trazyn. Getting his discomfort under control after staring too long at the Necron, Sazed squared his shoulders and waved at the table. "Please sit down, we need to be better than our host, impoliteness does not begets impoliteness."
It was a childish logic, but the Cosmere characters took satisfaction from this symbolic gesture and sat themselves down along the table, Vin and Elend on the left, Eshonai and Design on the right, representatives of Scadrial and Roshar respectively. It was just Tangmo's luck that he and Vin were seated on the same side, the Mistborn fixing the Thai commissar with an unblinking glare. If anything physical was to happen he doubted the single empty chairs between them would provide much protection.
"Well?" Vin demanded snappishly and sheathed her daggers. "We're seated, so get on what you have to say."
"Goddamn, Laura's right, you're really skinny," Tangmo looked Vin up and down, causing her to blush, from embarrassment or anger, he didn't know. Always the one to test how far things can go before it snap, Tangmo quirked a douchey brow at the fuming Elend, "I thought she would be eating better after becoming empress, but then again your planet was an ash choked shithole, like a more livable version of Krieg."
Vin was about to leap at Tangmo when Trazyn snapped his fingers. Greenish glow enveloped the entire tabletop, and when the ghostly illumination stopped five seconds later the table was filled to the brim with foods and drinks. It was clear Elizabeth and Eleanor had a hand in the catering, because it's comprised of dishes found in the twenty first century like sandwiches, fried chickens, pizza, and bottles of sodas and waters.
"Although no doubt obnoxious to the extreme Tangmo is correct, all of you require nourishment," Trazyn swept his gaze over the Cosmere characters. "Do not be shy, help yourself. I have been given guarantee by Elizabeth and Eleanor that the food is most delectable. I am sure we can dine and talk at the same time."
"Where did you find them again?" Laura grabbed an ice cold Coke bottle, turned the cap, the carbonated fizz drawing quizzical look from the Cosmere characters. The British inquisitor took a big swig, sighed delightedly, then continued. "Is it a Slaanesh daemon world? Please tell me it's a Slaanesh daemon world, because that would be hilarious."
"They were inside the Black Library," Trazyn said and Tangmo and Laura squawked loudly in shock, almost leaping off their seats as they fixed the Cosmere characters with bulging, unblinking eyes. "I would not have been able to find them if Elizabeth and Eleanor had not given me the exact coordinate of their location."
"Mr. Master provided the location," Elizabeth said. "We were only the messengers."
"And a very timely one at that," Trazyn nodded with grunt. "You two are very efficient."
"What in the hell were you doing inside the fucking Black Library?!" Tangmo demanded and honed his finger on the calm Sazed, the god's lack of reaction was really pissing him off. "Let me guess, the Changer bird said some stupid shit about there being a vast amount of knowledge that can be used to help the Cosmere and defeat Odium? And you believe it, hook, line and sinker."
"Judging from your reaction, this Black Library is indeed very important," Elend made his smart ass comment and Tangmo fixed him with a dark glare. "The Changer wasn't wrong, was he?"
"He's not, but that's not the fucking point here," Laura cut in sharply. "The main point is why in the bloody fuck were you inside the Black Library, what were you hoping to accomplish?"
"Your colleague has already answered that question, the Changer said we can find the means to stop Odium inside the Black Library," Sazed said but his face quickly fell, at least having the decency to realize he had fucked up. "In hindsight, I should not have been so eager to follow Hoid's scheme, but after meeting Vin and Elend again, and the horizon the Changer had shown me, one filled with hope and possibility, I will rightly admit that I have made a mistake."
"At least you show some remorse for your action," Tangmo unscrewed an Irn-Bru bottle, took a sip, and held the bottle up in salute at Sazed. "Don't beat yourself up over it, you got tricked by the Changer bird, that little fucker was obviously trying to find a way inside the Black Library. After he showed you how to connect the Beyond with the rest of the Cosmere, he helped you and Hoid travel to another universe, didn't he?"
"Yes. Changer directed both of our respective abilities, utilizing them as a conductor would an orchestra, and together we were able to venture beyond the confine of the Cosmere," Sazed exhaled heavily. "I should have known that it was a trick, but he was so earnest and open about his explanation, saying that this Black Library can bring peace to the Cosmere."
"He's not lying when he said there are great powers within the Black Library," Laura said. "But none of you Cosmere people can hope to control or understand it. The Warp is not something to be trifled with, and the Changer knows this full well. By the way, what happened to him?"
"Lord Trazyn destroyed him…what is the Changer exactly?" Eshonai asked, and being the adventurous and curious one of the group, was already chomping on the churro in her hand, "I can tell he's not just a simple chicken."
"Chicken? Oh right, Roshar natives call every sort of bird a chicken for some reason," Laura snorted good-naturedly. "But to answer your question, the Changer is obviously a daemon, no, a powerful Greater Daemon sent on a mission by his master to find out more about other universes, all of you are lucky to be alive."
"I would have defeated him if he'd tried anything," Vin crossed her arms over her chest with a huff. The posture would've been intimidating if it wasn't for the fact that the Mistborn was clearly eyeing a plate of chicken nuggets.
"No, you won't," Tangmo cracked a grin and, before Vin can lunge at him again, grabbed the plate and pushed it toward the Mistborn. "Saw you ogling it for a while now. Don't be shy, eat up, it's good."
"You and your friends could've laced it with poison," Vin narrowed her eyes on Tangmo.
"Dude, it's fast food, damn thing is already poison," Tangmo, Laura, Elizabeth and Eleanor shared a laugh, elevating the tension a bit. It took almost a minute for Vin's prevailing mistrust to thaw and the Mistborn at last plucked a nugget from the plate, glared at the flaky piece for a moment, before taking a bite. She tried to hide her reaction, she really did, but the pop of her eyes did not escaped Tangmo's grinning scrutiny. Groaning, Vin effected a look of disinterest and devoured the rest of the nugget.
"It's not terrible," Vin shrugged as she reached for another piece.
"I know," Tangmo sipped more Irn-Bru. "Look, I really like you, I'm a big fan of what you did back on Scadrial, but I have to be honest here. The Changer would've killed you without even breaking a sweat."
"And you have faced daemon like this Changer before?" Elend asked as he reached for a nugget of his own.
"We have, on too many occasions I might add," Tangmo nodded. "And Greater Daemons like the Changer are not the strongest servants of the Ruinous Power either, there are things and individuals that would make him look like a punk ass bitch. That means weak by the way."
"The Ruinous Power?" Sazed piped up, the name was making him very uncomfortable.
"The Forces of Chaos, an unending horde of daemons, heretics, cultists and eldritch abominations," Laura explained. "They are ruled by four maligned entities known as the Chaos Gods. The Changer is a servant of Tzeentch, the god of change, sorcery and scheming. The other three are Khorne, the god of war, blood and death, Slaanesh, the god of debaucheries, excess and carnality, and finally, Nurgle, the god of disease, decay and entropy."
"That's horrible!" Design cried out in distress. "They sound even worse than Odium and the Fused!"
"And you oppose these Chaos Gods?" Eshonai asked.
"We do," Tangmo's smile was resigned. "But then again, we're not that much better than them."
"What do you mean by that?" Vin demanded and almost choked on the nugget she was chewing.
"We're not the good guys," Laura said apologetically. "There's no Harmony, no Storm Father, no Mistborn, no Knight Radiant in this universe, only opposing forces trying to annihilate each other by any means necessary."
"Are you on our side then?" Sazed asked cautiously. "Will you and your…organization lend aide to the Cosmere?"
"Damn right we'll help you guys out!" Tangmo announced bombastically, high fived Laura, and then offered the Cosmere main character a wiry grin. "But just a warning, you will not like how we do things."
"Come now, I've seen the gruff and brooding type before," Elend nudged Vin friendlily in the side with his elbow. "I'm sure there's a heart gold underneath that black uniform."
"What do you do to your prisoners of war?" Tangmo asked, the chilliness of his timbre made Elend swallowed nervously, "after you took power, thanks to Vin doing all the hard works, and your subsequent short reign as emperor, how were your enemies treated?"
"Why, with dignity and respect of course," Elend was taken aback by the question. "After they surrendered, the prisoners were processed and then released, after they vowed not to raise their swords against me again."
"We take no prisoner," Tangmo's simple answer was met with affronted gasps from the Cosmere characters. Sazed especially was very angst by the Thai commissar's guiltless declaration. "The moment those stupid fucks throw up their hands and started begging for mercy we gunned them down, easy targets. And if we're in an especially bad mood, or if the Sisters of Battle were leading the charge, we set them on fire, after forcing them to dig their own graves."
"That is cruel, and evil," Vin snapped at Tangmo. "Those people you fought were only following orders, with families and love ones waiting for them to come home, they deserve to be shown mercy!"
"Their families join them in hell a few days later," Laura added with a bright smile. "See love, we don't try to negotiate or set up debates with cities we besiege, we destroy the place after several days of continuous artillery and aerial bombardment. Then we go into the ruins with flamers and make sure nothing survives, we take pride in being very thorough with our job."
"You're talking about killing civilians and noncombatants, that's genocide," Eshonai snarled. "Not even the Alethi are as vile, and I have seen what sort of cruelty they're capable of."
"The Alethi are nothing but strutting peacock pretending like they know what war is, while we of the Imperium of Man are eagles of iron drenched in fire and blood, a great shadow of doom reigning over the death of our making," Laura held out her fist to Tangmo and the Thai bump it with heart, because that was an awesome piece of grimdark Shakespearian shit right there. "You can moan about how we treat the Geneva Convention like toilet paper, but we're still gonna help."
"We don't need your help," Eshonai raised her voice and the Cosmere characters nodded with varying degrees of vigor.
"Oh, but you do," Tangmo grinned, his canines gleaming villainously, "the world, all the worlds in fact, need heroes, the paragons of truth and justice who dedicate their lives to the defense of the innocent. All of you are heroes, but the thing about heroes is that there are places they will never go, things they will never do, even if it mean saving millions in the long run. That is where we come in. We are the swords in the dark, spilling bloods that will stain the light, all of you can have your glory in the sun, and we shall rule the night."
"Bloody hell mate that was poetic!" Laura and Tangmo clasped hands in a bro shake, while Elizabeth, Eleanor, and Trazyn rolled their eyes.
"I know, I'm awesome," Tangmo guffawed loudly.
"A very grim statement," Sazed sighed sadly, "but very true, unfortunately."
"Sazed, you can't mean that!" Vin cried out. "You can't seriously believe anything they say, let alone think about cooperating with them!"
"But we must Vin, for the greater good of all. I am a good judge of character, and despite the crime the lord commissar and the lady inquisitor had unabashedly admitted to, they are genuine in their conviction, they are not our enemies," Sazed sat up a little straighter and fixed his godly sight on Tangmo and Laura. "How can you help us?"
"Besides words of encouragement and wisdoms, we cannot directly assist you, not without throwing the balance of the multiverse to hell," Tangmo told Sazed then pointed at the Bioshock heroines across the table. "This is Elizabeth DeWitt and Eleanor Lamb, our partners in crime, they have permission to travel across the multiverse and will be helping you. So what's the plan my dudes?"
"Since this incursion was a deliberate action, I think we need to make significant alteration to our existing strategy," Elizabeth and Eleanor traded nods then shifted their attention to Sazed. "Most of the times when we respond to a breach in the multiverse the circumstances were accidental in nature, a tiny little tear here, a peephole there. What has happen here was done on purpose, and although I have no doubt that your intention was good, it has cause a problem that could prove to be cataclysmic if left unattended."
"That is why our role will not be a passive one," Eleanor added with authority. "Our main job is reconnaissance, to watch and fix any problem that occurs discreetly, but what you and Hoid have done was effectively create a stable bridge between the Cosmere universe and the Warhammer 40k universe, something that cannot be allowed to exist. Myself and Elizabeth do not have the power to close a breach of this magnitude, and with Mr. Master busy elsewhere, I would require your complete cooperation in the mop up operation."
"Then we are at your disposal," Sazed inclined his head lowly in a bow. "We will assist you in keeping the Cosmere and every world beyond safe from Odium and the Chaos Gods."
"There is only a single pathway between the realms, yes?" Eshonai asked. "The task should be done with ease."
"The aether and the black matters are volatile," Elizabeth explained. "As we sit here and talk, smaller gateways could already be opening up across the Cosmere. Worse still is the fact that these new breaches could be from universes that have nothing to do with 40k."
"Hold on, are you telling me this universe isn't the only one we need to worry about?!" Elend blurted.
"Yes, but you don't need to worry too much, other universes are tame compare to this one. The Warhammer 40k universe is widely regarded as one of the most brutal and horrifying places in the entire multiverse," Eleanor gave Trazyn an apologetic smile. "No offense meant."
"None taken," Trazyn waved Eleanor off friendlily, "if anything I am quite proud of the distinction. I played a significant role in giving this universe such a vaulted reputation after all."
"Yeah, but all of you are still in the shitter regardless," Tangmo glanced at the glass pane and flashed a sequence of hand signals. "Yo, get Hoid back in here, he need to hear this!"
At a snap from Trazyn's fingers a hole appeared on the glass pane and in flew a squealing Hoid, tossed inside by Damien no doubt, the queen's Wit cartwheeled through the air before landing hard like a video game NPC who'd just got ragdolled.
"Ugh, did you have to be so rough?!" Hoid sprang up, completely unharmed, and dusted down his black ensemble. Tangmo caught a glimpse of Damien giving the Wit an Astarte grade middle finger before the glass shut again. "How rude!" Hoid huffed, spun around at the table, and smile brightly. "Oh wonderful, all of you are still alive, and I had feared a bloodbath would've already ensue."
"Sit your arse down Hoid," Laura pointed to the empty chair between Tangmo and Vin, and seeing the granite in the British inquisitor's glare, Hoid took his seat with a squeak. "Now, since we've just established how you and Sazed combined idiocy might have probably doomed the Cosmere six ways to Sunday, you're gonna fix this, capiche?"
"C-Capiche?" Hoid answered warily.
"Good," Laura sat up a little straighter so that she was prim and proper like a dainty Londoner. "Now, although things could be going to hell all over the Cosmere, you are currently operating exclusively on Roshar, yes?"
"I am indeed, yes," Hoid nodded.
"Then that is where you two must be," Tangmo told Elizabeth and Eleanor before fixing his gaze on Design, causing the Cryptic to flinch. "After they're done mapping every inch of Roshar, you're gonna help them with the Cognitive Realm, more specifically Shadesmar, which is conveniently connected to Urithiru."
"Me?! What am I supposed to do?!" Design squawked whilst looking to Hoid for help.
"Everything you can," Tangmo went on. "No games, no mysteries, if they ask a question you give them a straight answer. Considering it's the Chaos Gods who are prodding and prying the veils between the universes, Shadesmar is at the most risk."
"This Shadesmar, or the Cognitive Realm as a whole, is similar in composition to the Warp?" Trazyn spoke up, and Tangmo and Laura nodded. The overlord of Solemnace was silent for a moment, his metallic fingers drumming a scary tune on the tabletop. When he spoke again his tone was unmovable. "I shall accompany Elizabeth and Eleanor to the Cosmere."
"What?!" Hoid and the Cosmere characters were rightly horrified by Trazyn's declaration, made more alarming when Tangmo, Laura, Elizabeth and Eleanor voiced no objection. "You cannot allow this! This goes against every rule the Master as ever written!"
"Rules cease to have meaning when survival is at stake," Trazyn growled and Hoid settled his ass down quick enough. "What you and your friend have done bespoke of the danger possessed by the individuals of the Cosmere, to venture into the Black Library before the Harlequins and Cegorach himself noticed is a feat not to be taken lightly. I need to learn more about these new adversaries now arrayed against me."
"That's a bit of an overkill," Laura made her comment. "If we're going by pure, undiluted power level, Warhammer 40k is a couple of light years above the Cosmere, seems like a waste of bloody time to me. And don't you have bigger things to worry about? The Rift? The Silent King coming back?"
"The business of other Tomb Worlds is of no concern to me, and the Rift is irrelevant," Trazyn explained. "I would also like to remind you that the smallest scarab can be as effective as a Lychguard, you can ask inquisitor Greyfax when you return to the Immortal Spirit."
"Maybe you'll like to reminisce in person, I'm sure her girlfriend Saint Celestine will be calm and reasonable the moment she sees you," Laura rolled her eyes. "But back to main point, yes, even if Cosmere magic isn't as powerful as Warp energy, it can nevertheless cause damage to both universes."
"I'm sorry, but you can't seriously be contemplating this!" Hoid continued to freak out and gesticulated wildly at the overlord of Solemnace. "He looks like a monster, even the aura pulsing out of him carries clear malice, he'll stand out in the Cosmere like a blazing torch inside a cave. No offense meant, milord."
For the minute that followed a contemplative silence settled on Tangmo's side of the table, like him Laura, Elizabeth and Eleanor were heavily weighing the pros and cons of granting Trazyn such unprecedented freedom. The Necron overlord was a force to be reckoned with, but he was also a loose cannon, ready to bend, break or exploit any rules to serve his own end, which was pilfering shits for his museum. It was Tangmo who finally broke the silence, "I'll allow it."
"No! You can't…!"
"Shut the fuck up Hoid, you fucking brought this on yourself!" Tangmo snapped at Hoid then turned to Trazyn. "Make your request directly to Master, then me and Laura will add our personal recommendations to the proposal. But you will be working subordinate to Elizabeth and Eleanor, they say jump, you jump, they say sit, you sit, got it?"
"That is agreeable," Trazyn did not even attempt to hide how giddy he was, but being the consummate professional that he was, the overlord's timbre turned serious when he shifted his attention to Design. "So she will be my guide through the Cognitive Realm?"
"Our guide," Eleanor corrected Trazyn and turned to Design with a warm smile, calming the Cryptic down somewhat. "I understand this must be very overwhelming for you. We sympathize, honestly me and Elizabeth were not in any better shape when the truth of the multiverse was revealed to us, but we need your help to safeguard the Cosmere and all the worlds beyond, only by working together can we accomplish this. Can you help us?"
"Y-Yes, I think I can. I mean, Cryptic are not the most popular of Sprens, and we're not really welcome most of the time, but yes, I will do what I can," Design said but her face made an agitated pattern when she glanced at Trazyn. "But does he really have to come?"
"I will be on my best behavior," Trazyn's tone promised the opposite.
"The three of you will also be operating on Roshar itself," Laura added. "Talk to Lita and Erik, those two should be able to pinpoint all the places of interest and important peoples on the planet."
"I strongly object to this!" Hoid ignored Laura's warning look and stood up, chest puffed and looking crossly down his nose. "Roshar is currently under my jurisdiction, my allies have everything under control and we do not require your assistance!"
"Really? You got everything under control? Are you fucking serious?!" Tangmo threw his arms exasperatedly into the air. "The king of Urithiru is a cult leader who'd just completed his manifesto and is more incline toward playing stupid game with Odium instead of trying to kill the fucker. The girl in charge of spying people is a schizophrenic nutjob with a multiple personality disorder, who also baulk at every opportunity to be honest. And the strongest warrior you got is a mopey PTSD ridden wreck who can barely function at the best of time, while also committing the cardinal sin of sparing his enemies because of some asinine notion about honor. Then we come to most reliable person of the bunch, your girlfriend Jasnah, who, if push comes to shove, will not be able rely on the people I've just mentioned. I mean, she's honestly trying to make good progressive reform but is thwarted at every opportunity, and the only advice those other assholes give her is to compromise with evil shits like slavery. So yeah, shits a fucking dumpster fire on your end."
"That is both unkind and unfair!"
"I honestly don't give a fuck if Odium takes over Roshar," Tangmo spoke over Hoid's objection. "But what I do give a fuck is it effecting other universes, so the bottom line, Hoid, is that Elizabeth, Eleanor and Trazyn will have free rein over the Cosmere, for your sake and mine," the Thai commissar then waved at the other Cosmere characters, all of whom were watching his tirade with rapt attention. "And all of you will be helping us with this grand undertaking, congratulation!"
"We shall assist however we can," Sazed said with conviction but turned sheepish a few seconds later. "And how will we be rendering this assistance?"
"Okay, so, I'm not exactly an expert on the many magic systems in the Cosmere, hell, we'll probably see new shit in a few years or so," Tangmo said. "But if I'm following the laws of magic correctly, now that Vin, Elend and Eshonai are out of the Beyond, they can technically manifest themselves in the Spiritual Realm like all the Shardbearers?"
"You are very much correct, lord commissar," Tangmo's gonna ignore the look of abject surprise on Sazed's face, as if he'd just witnessed a monkey completing a rubric cube. "After Hoid and I managed to breach the veil, it is in the Spiritual Realm that we were reunited."
"Can they manifest in the Cognitive Realm?" Tangmo pressed on. "Because I heard Kelsier had been doing that shit for a while now."
"I believe they can," Sazed stroke his chin and turned to Hoid with a contemplative look. "The power on Roshar is Stormlight, yes? There is no mist on that planet?"
"I'm afraid not, but I've seen Allomancer practicing their arts on Roshar. I'm not the only world jumper, you see," Hoid explained then snapped his finger. "I believe with your blessing, considering you're a god and all, Vin and Elend should be able to easily manifest in the Shadesmar, with their power intact. As for Eshonai, she's the true inhabitant of Roshar before the arrival of humanity, I don't think it will be hard for her to enter the Cognitive Realm." Hoid then flashed a winning smile at Eshonai, who grinned lightly in return. "But worry not brave general, I shall help you with any difficulty that might occurs."
"Thank you," Eshonai bowed but a gloom came over her face. "I might be able to see Venli again. Oh how I wish I could've said goodbye."
"Venli is a piece of shite though," Laura's charming little remark unsurprisingly pissed Eshonai off. "She practically sells her soul to Odium, became his chief propagandist, fucked over a fuckton of Listener, and helped some Fused bitch take over Urithiru. She deserves an arse beating, not a hug."
"Don't you dare talk about my sister like that!" Eshonai leapt off her seat with a shout, knocking over her chair and causing Design to spring back in fright. "You know nothing!"
"I do actually, a lot more than you considering me and my mates saw what your precious little sister did after you died," Laura held up a placating hand, the British inquisitor does know when her assholish behavior goes too far. "But after that little crisis in Urithiru got resolved, your sister became a Knight Radiant and is trying to undo all the dumbass shite she did."
"Only through mistake can we become a better person," Sazed made his sagely input, his kindly and calm timbre managing to sooth Eshonai's anger. The Listener nodded at the Scadrial god, picked up the chair and sat back down, but not before shooting a murderous glare at Laura.
"Nice quote there Dalai-Lama, but not really applicable in this reality, I'm literally a walking embodiment of fixing every human mistake with an execution, but I digress," Tangmo chuckled and spun his chair around so that he was facing the Cosmere characters. "Congratulation, all of you have now been deputized to safe guard the multiverse. And as I've told Trazyn before, please defer to Elizabeth and Eleanor for the foreseeable future."
"If that is what we must do, then so be it," Elend sat up a little straighter and bowed at Elizabeth and Eleanor, the polite gesture was reciprocated by the Bioshock heroines. Vin was still grumpy though, which amused Elend greatly. "Come now Vin, it's not so bad. This will be a new adventure for us!"
"We don't need their help," Vin huffed. "From the way I see it, we'll be nothing but lackeys."
"I prefer the term partners, we'll be working as equal, that's our policy, free of intrigues and dramas," Tangmo told Vin, the Mistborn was obviously less than convinced but didn't press. "Besides, you'll be working with Elizabeth and Eleanor, and they're very nice and friendly people."
"We are," Elizabeth and Eleanor intoned as one, eerily reminding Tangmo of the Lutece twins.
"See? All of you will get along swimmingly," Tangmo flashed his winning smile and almost burst out laughing when Vin quickly look away, a slight blush coming over her cheeks. "I'm sure you and your friends can deal with any invaders easily."
"Considering how they haven't been able to best you yet, I doubt they would be a problem for us," Vin retorted snippily, but Tangmo was able to detect a lessening of hostility from the Mistborn, albeit nano in quantity.
"Yeah, but they did managed to trick you into opening a hole between the universes," Tangmo shrugged. "Who knows, maybe you guys will have better luck this time around."
"Perhaps we will," it didn't escape the room's notice that the interaction between Tangmo and Vin had become more rival-like, as opposed to outright antagonism.
"I don't doubt it," Tangmo said, the guilelessness of his words startling Vin, in a good way. "Besides, the Chaos Gods aren't the only evil entities y'all will be facing."
"…Excuse me?" Vin titled her head to the side, plain confusion etched upon her face as Hoid suddenly tried to make himself small. "Are there more monsters beside the gods of Chaos?"
"Yeah, from the other universes he…" the gears in Tangmo's head clicked then fall perfectly into place, the super evil grin now splitting his face in two made Hoid quailed, things only worsen when the Thai commissar laughed lowly, maniacally. "You slippery motherfucker, you didn't tell them did you?"
"Tell us what?" Vin's dark glare, which had been reserved exclusively for Tangmo just a couple of minutes ago, was now honed singularly on Hoid. "What have you kept secret from us?"
"This wasn't his first jaunts across the multiverse," Laura answered when Hoid tried, and failed, to formulate an excuse. "The 40k universe is the first where he'd taken other people with him, but Hoid had been making excursion into other places across the cosmos, much to the charging of Master. How many worlds have you gone and fuck around so far? Ten? Twenty?"
"…Twenty five," Hoid muttered miserably and turned to face the less than happy Cosmere characters, Jasnah's boyfriend actually looked apologetic. "I am sorry my friends, but I felt I would be putting you in danger if I was to reveal that, yes, I have traveled between the universes before."
"But we are nevertheless in greater danger than before," Sazed let out a long drawn sigh. "It was one of the core agreements when forming this partnership, that there will be no secrets between us."
"I'm sure he'll learn his lesson now, if he knows what's good for him," Laura shot Trazyn a sideway glance, and Tangmo was sure the Necron was wearing a creepy grin on his face. "Because if you continue to act like a twat, I'm sure the overlord of Solemnace has a few disciplinary regimens prepared."
"What else will we be fighting?" It was Design who spoke up. "Will they attack Shadesmar?"
"Most definitely, which is why all of you will act as the first and only line of defense for the Cosmere," Tangmo explained solemnly. "As for what you will be fighting, it will be entities we classify as Dark Lords, with goals, personalities and powers in the same vein as Odium. Power level wise, most of them are as strong as Odium, but Morgoth certainly outrank him by several lifetimes. But if I'm reading the current trend correctly, unlike the Chaos Gods, they are not interested in conquering the Cosmere, yet."
"What are their objectives then?" Elend asked.
"They're looking for likeminded allies," Tangmo went on. "There is a great war being wage in the multiverse, the ultimate showdown between good and evil, the line in the sand cut and dry and clear unlike this universe. And the bad guys are getting a lot more creative."
"Is it possible that Odium might also be seeking allies from beyond the stars?" Eshonai put forward her question.
"He will, most definitely," Laura nodded then waved at the Bioshock heroines. "That is why you need to listen to Elizabeth and Eleanor and do everything they say, because they know how to detect anomalies and breaches that appears between the universes, they're the best of the best. Also, they have been making authorized excursion across the multiverse, and since these two are literal geniuses, they have compiled an encyclopedic data on every enemy that you will most likely face. It ain't gonna be easy, but with our help you can win."
"I suppose you will be helping us with the Chaos Gods then?" Vin quirked a brow at Tangmo, "from what you've told us, you seem to be the expert on the subject."
"Damn right, we killed enough of those fuckers to know them inside out," Tangmo cracked a grin. "Unfortunately, we'll only be offering second hand help. We've complied everything we know and gave them to Elizabeth and Eleanor, so like Laura said, they'll be the one helping you."
"What will you do then?" Vin asked.
"As much as I want to fight alongside you, we need to be here, to battle the Forces of Chaos," Tangmo tipped his awesome commissar cap at Vin. "The more we keep them distracted, the less likely they'll look elsewhere, and trust me, given the amounts of heretics and daemons we're slaughtering the Immortal Spirit battlegroup is attracting a lot of unwanted attention."
"You are using yourself as bait for the Chaos Gods," Vin's eyes widened and immediately softened. "That's rather fatalistic."
"You've just describe the Warhammer 40k universe to a tee," Tangmo chuckled. "But hey, at least we'll be fatalistic for a good cause." He managed to make Vin blushed again with an exaggerated honeyed smile. "Aww, you're worry about us? I'm touched."
"I am not worried," Vin snapped and yep, she's totally a tsundere. "I just don't like to see people, no matter how obnoxious and vile, throw their lives away."
"A life sacrifice in the God Emperor's service is never in vain," Laura intoned then, her movement synchronized with Tangmo, made the sign of the aquila over her heart. "We stand ready against all enemies of mankind."
"That sounds…dangerously familiar," Elend stiffened visibly.
"Don't lose your head over it love, we're not into that crazy religious bullshit, but the quotes are amazingly grimdark and cool though," Laura bump fists with Tangmo then looked down at her watch, and started in surprise. "Bloody hell, it's been three hours?!"
"Three hours and thirty minutes to be precise," Trazyn corrected the British inquisitor. "Time flies when you're having fun, is that not how the saying goes for you humans?"
"Have the Immortal Spirit fleet moved to attack?" Tangmo smoothly rose from his chair, his awesome commissar coat made a dashing flourish that earned appreciative glance from Vin and Eshonai. "Have your fleet move to attack?"
"Both sides are honoring the truce," Trazyn also got to his feet, prompting everyone else to rise. "The restrain shown is very admirable, especially coming from the forces of the Imperium, but even I know we're pushing the limit to its very brink. I believe our meeting is concluded?"
"It is," Tangmo nodded. "What's our alibi?"
"I got interested with the progress the Immortal Spirit have made and demanded that you relinquished the location of four STCs that are currently scattered across the galaxy," Trazyn said easily, having obviously rehearsed in advance. "Failure to comply will lead to the immediate rescinding of the help I have given to Roboute Guilliman, which will result in him lapsing into his previous comatose state."
"Wait, what?" Laura and Tangmo froze on the spot, their reaction earned them worried looks from the Cosmere characters and the Bioshock heroines. "What do mean – you helped with Guilliman's resurrection?"
"Of course, you did not honestly believe that Archmagos Cawl's bumbling knowledge of archaic technology was enough to bring your vaulted Primarch back from his slumber?" Trazyn chuckled lowly. "I was the one who facilitated the framework for Cawl and Celestine and Yvraine to perform their ministration on Guilliman, without me they would've failed. I also possess the mean to end him if he turns out to be more of a nuisance than I originally anticipated. But worry not, for the moment I found his antic to be amusing."
"Damn, I keep forgetting you're actually a bad guy," Tangmo said without rancor, canine flashing in a grin as he locked eyes with Trazyn.
"I'm not the only one in the room, am I Tangmo?" Trazyn snorted then shared a deep rumbling laugh with Tangmo, one fit for a Legion of Doom meeting.
"You got me there dude!" Tangmo shrugged and turned to Elizabeth and Eleanor, both of them having rounded the table to come and stand in front of him and Laura, "everything good on your end? If you need any help just say the word."
"Thank you, but we're fine," Eleanor folded her arms over her chest and quirked an amused brow at Tangmo. "Say what you want, but we both know you're not the monster you made yourself out to be. You, and Laura, and the Eight have a moniker to keep, but deep down all of you are good in the most classical sense, otherwise Mr. Master would never have chosen you guys to begin with."
"And we have suffered the evil of real monsters," Elizabeth added before Tangmo and Laura can retort, "I for one I'm glad that you're on the right side, ready and willing to oppose them, wherever they may be."
"Bloody hell guys, you didn't have to make us blush like that," Laura muttered shyly and like Tangmo she was trying her damnedest to hide the first hint of pink creeping up her cheeks. The Cosmere characters' inquisitive and very kindly regards were not at all helping the matter. Coughing a few times to get her countenance under control, Laura smiled brightly at the Bioshock heroines and spread her arms wide. "But thank you, seriously, now give me a hug!"
Elizabeth and Eleanor complied with heart, the Bioshock heroines smiled brightly as they took turn embracing Laura, the British inquisitor making sure to give them a tight squeeze, and in a non-creepy way for once. Although more subdue in intimacy, Tangmo made sure the hug he gave Elizabeth and Eleanor was equally heartfelt.
"Good luck guys," Tangmo gave Eleanor a friendly smack on the back before breaking off the embrace. "And if any of Odium's goons or those Ghostblood fucktards gives you any trouble, give me a call and I'll kill them, painfully."
"We'll keep that in mind," Elizabeth nodded and flashed a cute little salute. "And good luck to you too, lord commissar, may you never lose a single battle."
"Count on it," Laura said. "And don't forget to visit us on the Immortal Spirit."
"Me and Elizabeth will want a very special tour!" Eleanor grinned and shifted her gaze to the Cosmere characters, all of whom were clearly enjoying the scene. "When you're ready, we'll go to our island villa and strategize, just give us the word."
"I suppose we need not remain here any longer," Sazed took the role of the leader and cast his gaze at the sterile room. "I must truly ask, where are we exactly? When lord Trazyn brought us here after our misadventure at the Black Library, we never got the chance to see what is outside."
"You're in a Necron flagship currently drifting through the void between planets and stars," Laura deadpanned her explanation. "And two hundred thousand kilometers away the Immortal Spirit fleet stalked the darkness, ready to fire upon this ship if something bad happened to us."
"I see…well then, I believe we won't be taking any more of your time…"
"Hey! We want to say goodbye too!"
Vin absolutely enjoyed how Tangmo leapt off his feet with a squawk when the glass pane disappeared and the rest of the Eight stormed inside the room, Damien spearheading the breach as they made a beeline for the laughing Elizabeth and Eleanor. What followed were hearty and cheery farewell shared between the Eight and the Bioshock heroines, with slapping of backs and laughter abound, and much ruminating on how short the reunion was. They also said goodbye to their host, and although not as rambunctious as with Elizabeth and Eleanor, the respect shared between the Eight and Trazyn was genuine.
"I want to say good luck, but we both know you don't need it," being the last to say his goodbye, Tangmo gave Trazyn a Thai wai while the Eight went to make their more formal farewell to the Cosmere characters. The overlord of Solemnace bowed in return. "And for the love of all that is holy, can you please not kidnap people from Roshar and lock them up in your museum, because seriously, things will go to fuck if people like Kaladin and Shallan went missing."
"I'm sure Elizabeth and Eleanor will compile me a list of contrabands, and things that I can collect," Trazyn said. "I already have several floors on Solemnace prepared for artifacts and specimens from other universes."
"Now that's the scariest thing I've heard all day," Tangmo shook his head with mirth and saw that it was his turn to bid adieu to the Cosmere characters. "Don't do anything crazy now my dude, I'll catch you later."
Trazyn nodded and Tangmo went to say his goodbye to the Cosmere characters, a task done with stiff propriety, solemn words and gloomy wisdom abound. Then he was standing before Vin, like the Thai commissar the Mistborn's visage was stoic, and out of the corner of his eyes Tangmo saw Damien raise his data-pad, thumb pressing the record button.
"Welp, I gotta be honest, despite us getting off on the wrong foot, it was still a pleasure to meet you in person," Tangmo wore what he hoped was a disarming grin. Vin sighed and Tangmo was glad to see the tension going out of her shoulders, so he held his hand out to her. "For what it's worth, I wish you the best of luck, because holy crap the fight ahead will not be easy."
"Thank you lord commissar but I am used to hard fight, something I'm sure you're aware of," Vin took Tangmo's hand into hers, the grasp firm. But the Mistborn's face became serious after a moment. "Be honest with me, how strong are these adversaries from beyond the Cosmere?"
"Remember how you die fighting that asshole Ruin?" Tangmo asked and Vin nodded, "what you're about to face is a thousand times worse, it'll make everything you went through on Scadrial looks pleasant by comparison."
"Maybe not so honest," Vin rolled her eyes but didn't seem at all crossed with Tangmo's trademark brand of honesty. "But they can be defeated?"
"With all the help we're giving you, hell yeah," Tangmo tilted his head to the side curiously. "Squeeze my hand."
"…What?" Vin asked, confused.
"Squeeze my hand, without the pewter," Tangmo repeated and after a few heartbeats Vin tightened her hold on. He barely felt a thing. "Damn, you're not a physical person, are you?"
"I can take care of myself well enough," now Vin was miffed. "I don't have an enviable upbringing, I'm a skaa, we were made to be…lesser."
"That can be easily fixed. Seriously, you're actually taller than Moiraine," Tangmo turned Vin's arm this way and that, the Thai commissar winking when he caught the hopeful gleam glinting in the Mistborn's eyes. Apparently no one had ever told Vin her physical disadvantages can be eliminated, "Elizabeth and Eleanor can help you with the diet and exercise regimen, you're gonna be cut and lean in no time. As for self-defense routine…starts off with Jiu-Jitsu, Aikido and Silat then work your way up to Muay Thai, Lethwei and boxing, you'll be kicking ass without Alomancy in no time."
"Truly?" Vin went a bit off key but recovered quick enough as she pulled away from Tangmo and bowed. "I mean, thank you for your assistance…I don't want to be useless or helpless in the coming fight."
"You won't, Ms. Hero of the Ages," Tangmo cracked a grin.
"That's Sazed, not me," Vin nudged her head at the god of harmony.
"No he isn't, to me you're the true Hero of the Ages, and don't let anyone say otherwise," Tangmo's earnest declaration stunned Vin, who shuffled her feet, bare he just now noticed, shyly. Adjusting his awesome commissar coat, Tangmo nodded at Elizabeth, prompting her to open a Tear, revealing white sand and palm trees on the other side. "I would love to chat more, but time is of the essence. Goodbye for now and good luck, I'm sure you'll have fun."
"Not the words I would use, but yes, I rather enjoy being able to feel, to breathe, to eat again," Vin spun on her heel and went to join her Cosmere friends, the Bioshock heroines and Trazyn at the Tear. Grinning lightly, Vin waved her hand at Tangmo and the Eight, his homies having taken their places around him. "Good luck lord commissar Tangmo, perhaps we'll see each other again."
"I hope so. Goodbye," Tangmo waved back and Elizabeth, with unnecessary but cool flourish of her hands, closed the Tear, seamless and soundless. Rolling his shoulders, Tangmo turned around and headed for the exit, the Eight matching steps with him. "Alrighty then ladies and gentlemen, let's get back to our regularly scheduled program of grimdark eternal war."
