I was awoken by Ian loudly announcing that he was leaving the house. It was an icy morning, and I could see my breath in the frigid air.

I went downstairs to see everyone else in the kitchen, sitting at the table in complete silence. A fresh fire crackled in the stove, slowly warming the house.

It seemed a little too coincidental that they were all like this right after someone had left.

I thought they were shit-talking Ian, but it only took me a moment to realize the real, darker reason behind their silence.

There was an empty pie tin, sitting in the center of the table.

I let out a deep breath and looked at the tin. Then I looked at them, and then to the tin again. I finally rested my defeated gaze upon all of them. My disappointment was immeasurable, and my day was ruined.

I swallowed, preparing to stop any of my emotions from reaching them.

"Oh. Shit." Mark saw my face. "If I knew you wanted a slice, I would have saved you one."

"Well, why did you think I wouldn't want a slice?" I asked, forcing myself to stay polite. The Leafeon blinked, caught off-guard.

"You should have said something!" They retorted.

Tony stepped in before I could respond, and tried to defuse the situation.

"Steve, look. I'm sorry no one saved you a slice, but let's try-"

Before Tony could finish, a loud banging from the door interrupted him. Everyone seemed to forget what just happened as they walked over to see who it was.

Nobody was there, but when I looked down, I noticed a large and lumpy envelope that appeared eerily similar to the one I had received on my own doorstep months ago.

"Looks like someone sent us something," Elizabeth stated.

"It's from the guild!" I blurted out, recognizing the familiar yet terrifying red writing on the front.

As I opened the letter, it seemed everyone else figured out what it was before me, judging from the smiles creeping across their faces.

Elizabeth pulled out a heap of coins from inside, and Tony quickly took charge of dividing it among us.

"Well, I can tell you it's not a fortune," he said, slowly counting them out. Everyone silently waited with bated breath until he finished.

"Can I take Ian's share? Just don't tell him that payment came," Elizabeth suggested, much to the disgust of everyone else.

"What the hell? No!" Toz spoke out.

"It's- it's not like he does much anyways-" Elizabeth read the room and tried to backpedal. "I mean, he just-"

"No means no, Elizabeth!" Tony spoke with a fury I had never seen in him before. I silently glanced at everyone else, trying to gauge how I should react myself. "I've shut you down badmouthing people before, and I won't let you even try it again."

Elizabeth glanced at me, unknowingly revealing what he was talking about.

"That was you?!" I blurted out, taken by surprise.

All eyes turned towards me, and I immediately covered my mouth.

But it was too late. They knew I was eavesdropping.

Even though the sun was barely peeking out, it felt like a long day had already come and gone. We stood in the kitchen facing each other, with the uncomfortable truth revealed.

After a moment of silence, I walked outside, leaving them to figure it out amongst themselves.

I walked down to the town square, one of the few places that reminded me of normalcy, a place back before all this happened—a place where I could still feel human, back in my old life; a simpler time. I sat down and took a deep breath, immersing myself in the environment.

Still, my thoughts haunted me, and no beautiful weather could stop them.

I wondered what they were all doing back there, or if they even cared about me at all.

'I mean, they had to care, right?' I tried to reassure myself, over and over again, but it was like playing a game of chess against myself: unwinnable.

My thoughts disappeared when I saw a Fennekin slowly creep out of an alleyway and into my general direction.

'Stay calm. They don't want to hurt you. It's just a normal fox.'

I told myself to stay calm over, and over, and over, but alas, my mind slipped when their eyes locked with mine.

'You need to get out. You need to get out. YOU NEED TO GET OUT!'

Panic took over, and before I knew it, I was bolting out of my seat and sprinting back to my house. My heart was pounding so hard that I could feel it in my throat, and all I could think about was getting as far away as possible.

Once I calmed down, I felt even worse than before, my legs were trembling, and I could barely focus.

I climbed up the stairs, ready for this day to be over.

As I approached my desk, I noticed a letter and an unmarked book sitting together. It didn't look anything like the books I already had, and even if it was, I didn't remember getting any books out recently.

Curious, I opened the book first and flipped to a random page. I saw a drawing of a Servine with what I thought was its name underneath. I could only read the name, however, as it was the only word on the entire page that just meant itself.

As I flipped through, I saw drawings of various Pokemon. Insects, mammals, reptiles, and more. However, I couldn't find any birds no matter how hard I searched. I just figured that Tony got me a version without any, and moved on to the clearly handwritten note that was placed next to the book.

AN: Below is a note written in-universe. I wanted to clarify this as there was confusion the past few times I've done something like this. On AO3, it's a bit more clear.

hi stev. I wnted to aplogize for not talkig to you erler abot waat hapened. To make it up to you, I wnted to give you this bok, as I thought you wuld find it helpfuul.

pleese do nt hold it against them, I'm sur thy only mean the best.

also, aza told me that she wuld buy you something, so you shuld talk to him later.

from tony

As I read the note, I noticed that Tony's English was pretty good. Mike must have taught him some. Receiving an apology from Tony was nice, and it helped me clear up my thoughts a bit. What caught my eye though was that Tony referred to Aza as both "he" and "she". Even considering all the funny spelling and grammar mistakes, it still just came off as weird.

A knock at my door startled me back to reality. I walked over and opened it, expecting it to be Tony, but to my surprise, Aza was there.

"Hey, Steve!" He greeted. He seemed unnaturally cheery, almost to the point of straining a smile. "Wanna go shopping with me?"

"Oh, uh… Sure," I reluctantly accepted. As soon as I did, she dragged me out of the house and down the road.

As we walked, I couldn't help but think about the note Tony left, and whether his use of those words was intentional.

"Are you a boy or a girl?" I awkwardly asked Aza, unable to keep the question to myself any longer.

Taken aback, she stared at me like I was miles away. "Am I what?"

"Are you a boy or a girl?" I reiterated.

"Oh yeah, I get asked that a lot. I'm not either- well, I'm both." He seemed to lose his words with me. "Oh, you mean it like that way? Look dude, I'm just trying to be nice here, I'm not interested." Her tone became much more serious, eying me suspiciously.

There was a pause in the conversation, and I couldn't help but laugh. Aza's stern demeanor retreated, and she began to laugh as well.

"Oh look! The candy shop, let's go get something!" Aza pointed at a building, his eyes sparking.

"That sound great!"

Aza swung open the door, and we both walked inside.

The first thing that I noticed was just how crowded the place was- and I don't mean it like the place was popular, I mean that whoever was in charge of decoration went a little overboard.

There were so many things there to look at, and I was fairly certain that if I lost my focus for even a second, I would hit my head on a wind chime or something. Various bits and pieces that did God knows what were hung from the ceiling, signs that looked like they were stolen from roads during the night were stapled to the walls, and I fairly certain at one point I saw a table nailed to the ceiling.

"Look at that!" Aza called me over to a small corner of the shop and pointed at an unassuming treasure chest.

I peered over the lid to see what he was so excited about, and I was met with a jar of sugar. There was nothing special about it; no watermelon flavor, or special color, or anything of that sort. He literally dragged me out here to buy a jar of sugar.

"Are you actually getting a jar of sugar? For real?"

"Yeah? I can get more, but this is my favorite."

"No, no, it's fine- it's just- why… never mind."


As we walked back to the house, Aza would not stop raving about how much she loved sugar, to the point that it made me wonder if she had had anything else from that store at all. To be honest, I was content with just getting the bestiary, so I just saw this as a nice bonus.

"Well, thanks Aza," I said to him with a mouthful of sugar.

"Hey, no problem!" Aza pulled me into a hug, and my eyes widened with surprise. I smiled, and I knew that like sugar, this too shall pass.

When I looked back upon the day so far, I realized that the memories that had been haunting me the whole time were just that: memories. And those memories cannot replace the present, just like how sugar cannot replace real food.

Yet, do I regret dwelling on that part for so long? No, because who can live a life without going back every once in a while? Like a dish without sugar, I would be incomplete without thinking back to where I once was.