Caused by some kind of miracle, everyone's in the communal kitchen when Steve enters early in the morning. It's six a.m. and even Ms. Potts is having breakfast at the table, tablet in one hand while she scrolls through the news. Had it been yesterday, Steve would have been glad to see the room so animated but today he had expected a… calmer ambiance.
"Hey," he greets and only Barton lifts his head from his cereal bowl when Steve enters. Tony seems to be searching for the meaning of life at the bottom of his coffee cup and finding out that the answer is forty-two. On the other hand, Natasha is reading something on her laptop; it seems important judging by her concentrated face.
"Hello, Captain Rogers," Ms. Potts says while she stands up and places her plate in the dishwasher. She seems in a hurry but she finds a moment to kiss Tony on the cheek and guide him to a free chair, a plate with scrambled eggs and bacon still steaming. Tony's eyebrows lift as if he hadn't noticed it until now.
"Thanks," he says in a distracted kind of way and Ms. Potts frowns down at him. Steve is curious and wants to ask what is going on but knows it's better not to get into other people's business.
"Could anyone of you three make sure that he gets at least three hours of sleep, please?" Ms. Potts asks with exasperation, one hand squeezing Tony's shoulder when he opens his mouth to protest.
He must have spent the whole night in his lab. Steve has discovered in the last month or so that Tony is liable to do that if he's left unsupervised for a long period of time.
"Of course," Steve answers but Natasha and Barton are already nodding along. It feels like a request too personal for the relationship they have with the engineer but Steve guesses Ms. Potts doesn't have anyone else to ask the favour.
"He'll watch Dora and then we'll tuck him right into bed," Barton quips when Ms. Potts enters the elevator with a thank you thrown over her shoulder. Tony throws bread at Barton's head but Natasha catches it just before it can hit him, then she eats it with a smug smile.
"Ugh, why did I invite you all here?" Tony wonders out loud but Steve sees right through him—he's sure Barton and Nat do, too. If he didn't want them in his Tower he most certainly wouldn't have made a floor for every one of his teammates, each different to accommodate the Avenger's specific skill set. Steve knows Bruce has his own laboratory, Thor a wide balcony where to land when he visits, Barton a shooting range—he hasn't visited Nat's floor yet.
Steve clears his throat to attract his teammates' attention. It works and he finds himself lost for words. "Um, I wanted to tell you that…"
Steve is starting to think Tony has instructed J.A.R.V.I.S. to interrupt him when he considers it less convenient. "Captain Rogers, Mr. James asks if he has permission to come to the communal kitchen."
J.A.R.V.I.S.' words hang in the air for a few seconds; Steve's aware of everyone's eyes on him. He has the feeling he's not the only one who noticed the wording of that sentence.
"Er, yes, of course. Tell him how he can reach me."
Silence.
"I talked with James yesterday." Tony mouths a curt 'aham' and waits for Steve to continue. "Explained the situation he's in." Natasha raises one eyebrow while the other one lowers even farther. The result is an unconvinced expression.
"I told him he was a HYDRA prisoner."
"You're saying he didn't know that already?" Tony asks with a note of astonishment. Steve's somber expression is enough answer and Tony falls back on his chair, lips parted and eyes bright with stupefaction.
"Not only that," Steve continues, "but he doesn't remember who he is. He just… doesn't know anything. Not the year it is, not his second name… How is that possible?"
"I may have some ideas," Tony says after a minute of pondering the question. "I can't be sure without having him pass some tests, though, and consult some people."
"They must have done something to his brain," Barton chimes in, eyes rising from his bowl, shining with sudden understatement. Tony points at him with a finger, as if saying "yep, that's what I was thinking."
"I'll talk with some experts on the matter," Tony assures.
Steve does a bit of hovering at the end of the table until Natasha asks. "How is it that they discharged him?"
"My employees were scared," Tony says just before the elevator dings to notify them of James' arrival. Natasha doesn't look too happy with that answer.
Steve had felt the exact same way when Tony had told him. Still, Tony and he had ended accepting, believing it wouldn't be good for James to be in an environment where people fear him or could even try to hurt him.
Steve gets up from his seat and makes his way to the doors before they open. James has his back firmly against the wall and carries an air of suspicion, clearly not at ease in the Tower. Steve tries to give him a reassuring smile but judging by the constant frown marring James' forehead, Steve isn't sure he succeeds.
"Hey, James," Steve salutes with a ridiculous wave of his hand. He drops it by his side, feeling foolish, as if he's interpreting a high school play—or the first time he played the role of Captain America.
James mimics the wave and steps out of the elevator. He takes a quick look at the room and Steve can't help but think that James is locating the exits. Then the man studies the four people sitting at the large table.
"Hello there, One-Armed Wonder."
"Tony," Steve says with a warning tone.
"How about we all go to sleep," Barton offers and Steve feels like he should send him a bouquet of arrows as a thank you. Today he isn't really in the mood to deal with Tony's quirks.
Tony protests at first but Natasha and Barton each grab him by an arm and drag Tony into the elevator. "Welcome to my Tower, Robocop!" are his final words before the doors slide shut.
"Sorry about that."
Steve turns to James who is staring at him. He has the feeling of being closely studied. Steve fights the need to rub at his neck or wriggle his hands until they turn red.
"So," Steve says too loudly, making James startle and take a small step back. Shit, Steve's mind provides. "Sorry. Um. This is the communal kitchen." He encompasses the large space with a hand. He notes that Barton's bowl is still on the table and he quickly rinses it and puts it into the dishwasher. Tony's plate isn't empty so, after wrapping it in cling film he puts it in the fridge.
When he turns around, James is inspecting the living space, pale hand resting on the back of the couch. Steve, making his steps obvious so as not to startle him, gets to James' right. "This is the 'rec room,' as Tony calls it. I'll introduce you to the others some other time."
Steve doesn't know why he expects more reaction than the man to keep staring. Trying to steer James to the left, Steve places a hand on his back and pushes lightly. This causes the man to give a sudden and uncoordinated step away from him. Steve opens his mouth but words fail him. James' chest heaves with erratic breaths and his scowling has evolved into something that must be hurting the muscles on his face.
"Sorry," Steve says with feeling. He gives a step back and lowers his hands. They itch; Steve wants to pat James reassuringly, tell him he won't hurt him. If words won't work then he'll have to show it. "I won't touch you again, I promise, James."
The man's face doesn't change its expression but Steve sees his hand unclench at his side.
"We can go to your room now," Steve offers in the heavy silence. James nods and Steve gets to the elevator and waits for the doors to open. James waits behind him but follows Steve into the cabin.
"You'll stay in my apartment," Steve explains. "You'll have your own room. It's pretty big."
He had thought it better not to leave James alone. If something happens or he needs help, he will only have to cross the hall and knock on Steve's door. Steve is also the only person in the Tower that can contain a super-soldier if the case ever arises.
James doesn't say anything and Steve feels the air getting more oppressing. When they finally get to his floor, Steve shows him the kitchen, the living room, and finally James' bedroom.
"Where do I sleep?" James finally says. He has a little frown now, one of confusion, Steve believes.
Steve takes a step into the room and with a hand pointing at the king-sized bed says, "Here."
James' expression shifts into deep concentration. He opens his mouth, ready to say something but closes it. "On the bed," he ends up saying. It's not a question and it leaves Steve puzzled.
"Yeah." A thought pops in his mind. "It's firmer than it looks. I couldn't sleep in beds that were too soft so Tony bought harder mattresses."
Steve remembers that he hadn't asked Tony to do it, he had just mentioned it one day and the next one his mattress had felt different, right.
He sees James give a curt nod—he better get used to interpreting different frowns and nods as a way of answer. James approaches the bed and sits at the edge, hand sinking into the comforter. "I like it," he expresses and Steve feels himself smile for the first time in a long while.
"I'm glad you do."
James' head snaps up.
"Why?" he demands. James considers the bed with distrust.
"Because…" Steve isn't sure if saying the truth will be the best thing to do. "Because you deserve it." Though he guesses not a lot of people have been sincere in James' life lately.
"Come, I'll show you your bathroom," he says before more questions can arise, ones he won't have the answer to.
James stares him down for a little longer, eyes sharper than Steve has ever seen them, even on the occasions they fought and the situation took all of James' focus. Steve shows him the enormous bathroom, with its shower stall at one side and the bathtub in the middle, its cabinets and large mirror. There already are toiletries for him like a toothbrush and toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner, soap…
James seems a bit overwhelmed so Steve decides to end with the tour.
"This is my bedroom." He opens the door and feels like a teenager showing his room to a new friend. "You can come whenever you need something, doesn't matter the time."
James nods. Steve would have wanted more of a reaction, maybe a word or two but he knows that what he wants is of no importance. James is going to need a lot of help and if a way to help him is leaving him alone, then Steve will shut up and just do it.
"You can, um, go to your bedroom if you want. Close the door." He feels his face heating up with every embarrassing second but he soldiers on, remembering James' words asking if he had permission to come to the kitchen. "Do whatever."
"Okay." James hesitates when he's about to turn on his heel. "Thank you, Steve Rogers."
Steve is speechless for a moment, his eyes not veering from James'. "Don't mention it. And you can call me Steve—if you want, of course."
"Thank you, Steve."
Steve will take it as progress.
He follows James with his eyes as he walks to his bedroom. Steve catches him falter but James eventually closes the door with a final click. Steve hears the lock sliding into place and lets out a breath.
Baby steps, he reminds himself.
Steve needs a second to decide what to do next and when he finally does, he goes to the kitchen and opens Youtube on his laptop. He goes to the videos he's marked to watch later and chooses a recipe that will take him some time to prepare. He loses himself into trying not to screw up too badly and before he can realize it an hour has passed.
Steve looks around the apartment and finds it empty. After getting the table ready, he gets to James' door and knocks his knuckles lightly against the wood. "Hey, uh, I made us some dinner."
Steve's brain fills in: "if you guys eat that sort of thing." The joke would obviously get lost into anyone who isn't Sam or Natasha and the only thing it does is make Steve's chest hurt.
"If you want to eat you can just… come out," he says to the door. There is no answer and he doesn't hear anything from the other side. He waits for a few more seconds and then decides not to insist.
He needs some time, he reminds himself.
Steve takes his plate from the dinner table and sits on the couch, remote in hand. The TV is better than anything that will decide to roam his mind tonight.
