Chapter 15:

It was the streak of sunlight that woke me, but when my mind had groggily pulled itself awake, I wondered how on earth I had been able to sleep through the incessant bird chitter. However, the air was nice and cool, and the sun made the tent canvas warm to touch.

Apparently, it had started to rain during the night.

I lay on the wrong side of the tent; back in my own body.

Last time we had switched I had barely had time, or the presence of mind, to appreciate my own skin. But now I had time to relish in it. To fully take in that giddy feeling I always had when I got it back. My body was something I had never feared to lose before. But now it felt like I had already lost it. Like someone had taken it away from me and were dangling it in front of my face, just out of reach, while laughing at me in sadistic mirth.

I didn't blame Snape of course. I knew how little he appreciated this. But it still felt like someone was responsible. I was inclined to blame Mundungus Fletcher. I knew, deep down that Mundungus had nothing to do with it. Not the Door, not that Snape and I drank the potion, not my imprisonment in the medieval times. But he was the one who had hid the blasted potion at Grimmauld Place in bottles marked with butterbeer. It was so easy to blame him for everything else. Despite how much I tried not to direct my anger at him, during these past months in Watercrest, I had grown to despise Mundungus Fletcher.

It was stupid, and I knew it wasn't healthy. But I suppose I had spent too much time in Snapes presence. Some of his bitterness must have rubbed off on me. Or was I making up excuses?

If it turned out our hunt for the Well was fruitless, I couldn't let myself feel the strange sort of possessiveness that suddenly came over me. I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down. After spending so much time as a man during my time in Watercrest (two months for merlins sake!) I had eventually (and dejectedly) come to terms with the idea that I could get stuck like that forever. I didn't accept it, it wasn't a happy thought, but I knew I could survive with an okay life.

But now that Snape was back, now that Snape had found me, I could let myself hope again. His presence made me latch to the idea that we could find the Well and solve our problem after all. I had basically forced us both on the journey we were currently on. I regretted to admit I had never let Snape have a say in the matter. Not after he closed the door by himself. I only hoped our efforts would not be wasted . . .

I wrapped my arms around my chest as if to keep it from running away and looked over at Snape.

Severus, I suppose . . . (I had been calling him Severus out loud for two days without his protest, so why should I not call him Severus in my mind as well?)

Anyways . . . Severus . . . was still asleep, which was strange. After all, Sn- Severus! didn't seem to sleep much, and during my stay in Watercrest, I (Snapes body) had become used to wake up at the break of dawn. But now the sun already shone brightly through the tent opening. My wristwatch told me it was three in the afternoon, but I knew that was wrong.

Now, the sun was already high up in the sky through the narrow tent opening hitting the side of my face, but it didn't seem to bother Snape.

I took the liberty to study him for a minute.

This was the first time I had seen his sleeping form (in his own body that is). He snored (rather loudly I thought), but it was not enough to be annoying. He lay on his side and held onto his transfigured pillow with one hand. The other was loosely placed over his wand (actually, it was my wand since we hadn't exchanged them yet overnight.) He had kicked his blanket halfway off, so his bare chest and arms were uncovered. I could clearly make out a scar at the back of his neck that I hadn't noticed before (I hadn't been able to see it in a mirror after all). It was insignificant, but it woke my attention all the same.

It was shaped like a ragged crescent and went from behind his earlobe and up behind his hairline. No wonder I had never seen it before. Another one of Lord Voldemorts punishments perhaps?

I continued to study his scar for another minute before I realized how awkward it would be if he woke up and caught me. I decided to let him sleep and rose to get dressed.

I tiptoed outside wearing only my white chemise and brought the green kirtle and my shoes to dress outside. I ignored how the moist from the ground seeped through my socks. Snape hadn't stolen any medieval shoes for me, so I still had to wear my own modern, leather boots. I didn't mind though. I loved those boots and they fit surprisingly well with the dress.

Sn- . . . Severus only came out an hour later when I had finished dressing, tended to Difficult and started to cook breakfast. He was fully dressed and shaven. The transfiguration I put on his face had faded during the night and he looked completely like himself.

Well, almost like himself.

Except for the changes that had happened during my stay in Watercrest. I had never taken the time to study those changes before. It was hard to see them when they had happened to me. And I hadn't noticed them while I had led him to The Wardrobe Door and later when we had gone to Mordons castle.

Now however, it struck me fully how different he looked.

His hair was longer, his complexion brighter (a lot brighter actually), his skin was tanner (well, at least no longer sickly pale) and he had even developed some muscles in his arms (barely but still visible).

He looked good. All thanks to me.

He had also shaved off the short beard I had grown during my stay in Watercrest, and I realized he looked a lot better without it.

Noticing my gaze, Severus met my eyes. "What?" he asked.

I felt my blasted face turn hot. "I was just noticing how much better you look without a beard" I said honestly.

Severus frowned. Whether that was because he was confused or insulted I wasn't sure. "Why did you grow it in the first place?" he asked curiously.

I cleared my throat theatrically and made an innocent voice "I'm making breakfast. How did you sleep?"

"Miss Tonks" he warned.

"Fine, if you must know, I can't use a razor without cutting myself. Are you happy?" I said with a grin.

He snorted "Perhaps if you had used your brains to actually focus on what you were doing instead of all your other whimsical shit, you would have been less of a klutz. But I suppose there wasn't much in there to begin with?" he stopped when he met my eyes and his sneer disappeared.

I closed my eyes, refusing to let myself feel hurt. "Thank you, Severus, for putting things back into place." I felt like using his own sarcastic tone against him. "I was beginning to fear you had become civil, even pleasant these last two days, but thank Merlin I was mistaken. Otherwise I would have started to believe you were a decent human being."

His eyes narrowed and one of his fists clenched as if he was tempted to hit me. "Anything else you wanted to say?" he said forcefully and gritted his teeth.

He had meant it to be demeaning. He had meant it to be mean. I knew I wasn't the most gracious person in the world, but the way he said it made it sound like the reason why I was so clumsy was because I was an idiot. After all we had been through together I thought he knew that wasn't true. But I must have been mistaken.

I wanted to glare at him, but I couldn't bring up the anger. I was too hurt. Sever- Snape! must have seen the hurt on my face because he only stood there, staring at me. There was a slightly regretful streak in his eyes, but he didn't apologize for what he had said.

Eventually I shook my head with equal amounts of disappointment and hurt and stood to leave. "Have something to eat." I ordered and gestured towards the bag with the food. "Choose whatever you want from the bag. I'm going to go and check on Difficult."

"I beg your pardon?" asked Snape in confusion, but I didn't bother to answer while I stomped away from him. I didn't need to tend to Difficult, I had already done it a few minutes ago, but since I didn't want to look at Snape, I went over to her again. I cursed Snape under my breath and told Difficult exactly what I thought of the guy. She only nodded in agreement, or perhaps she was trying to make me stop hissing at her? I wasn't sure.

Snape didn't seem to be in the mood for eating after all. Instead he waved his wand at our makeshift camp. The tent collapsed and folded itself together, the fire put itself out and everything we owned gathered itself together and flew into the open bag. Snape then picked up the bag and tossed it over his shoulder before he trudged over to me.

"The sky is clouded, and it is unsafe to ride when it could start to rain any second. We walk today." He as good as ordered. His tone was harsh again, as if I had been the one to insult him.

I barely managed not to snort. "Fine, we walk" I agreed annoyed and started to pull Difficult towards the road again. Snape followed begrudgingly.

It took me about half a second to realize that the tense air between us couldn't continue. Travelling like this for two weeks would kill us both, so I reluctantly decided to forgive him for his comment after all. Despite how rude it had been.

I tried to loosen the tension by talking, but Snape seemed to have turned himself inward, and only answered me with monosyllables.

When had I seen this behaviour before I wonder? Only all the bloody time!

Eventually I snapped. "Stop being a prick, Snape! You were the one to insult me this morning. You have no right to be angry at me. You were the one who started by being a dick, right after I gave you a genuine compliment. So, will you please act like a normal person for a change?"

Snape stopped abruptly. Nostrils flaring. "Perhaps we should set camp" he barked.

Based on the light it must only be somewhat after midday. "What? Are you tired already?" I asked. This time I was probably the one being snarky.

Snapes head snapped in my direction and he glared at me. "Yes! do you have a problem with that, woman?"

Right, so now we are back to 'woman' again, I thought. But it made me realize something. I had forgotten how sore I had been after riding yesterday, and now that Snape was using that body, he must feel horrible. "No" I said frowning, suddenly feeling stupid I hadn't realized that earlier.

Snape turned and stomped in the direction of a little streak above the road, where he plumped down next to a tree and huffed. I followed with a slower pace and placed the horse next to another tree.

I plumped next to Snape, crossed my legs and stared at him until he looked like he wanted to squirm under my gaze, or slap me, whichever was more tempting. "We need to stop doing this, you know" I stated.

Snape crossed his arms petulantly. "I am well aware miss Tonks, I am not an imbecile no matter what you think of me."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I don't think you're an imbecile. I just think your social skills are really really bad."

Saying that earned me a glare. But he turned his gaze away when I glared right back. He obviously didn't disagree with me. Eventually he leaned his head back against the trunk. "It is going to rain soon" he said. Probably trying to redirect the conversation to something more pleasant. Not that the thought of rain was very pleasant.

"Will you try the memory thing with me then?" I asked. Not realising that that was the stupidest suggestion I would make that day.

"Perhaps" said Snape evasively but didn't meet my eyes again. To fill the awkward silence between us, I tried to redirect the conversation.

"You alright?"

He frowned at me. "Why?"

"Your legs, you twat. Are you feeling very sore? Because we could-"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes, miss Tonks!" he growled in exasperation.

"Alright alright, no need to get your knickers in a twist." I said and held up my hands in defeat. "I was only asking how you were."

"Well, you can stop that right now."

"What? So I should just let you suffer by yourself? Look I know you are sore, because I was the one who made it so. You can admit it, you know."

"There is no need for you to coddle me miss Tonks. Unlike your fleabag of a cousin I am an adult. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

I rose my eyebrows. "You're certainly not acting like one." That was the wrong thing to say apparently. I had managed to make Snape angry. Again.

"Was there something you wanted to say, miss Tonks?" he said with his most silky and dangerous voice.

A small part of me felt like I was a little student again. I frowned at the sudden discomfort his presence made. The same type of discomfort I had felt in school when I was caught doing something wrong. But I hadn't done anything wrong now. The larger, more reasonable part of me snorted at my other half. Snape was not my teacher anymore. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. "Only that you're being ridiculous. I'm not trying to coddle you. I was only asking whether you were alright in case you wanted to set camp already. And what on earth does Sirius have to do with this conversation anyways? He's not even here. He won't even exist for five hundred years!"

"Well you-"

"You only brought him up because you wanted to belittle him again. Like you always do. It doesn't make any sense." I stared at him, urging him to explain, because I certainly didn't understand why he constantly insisted on doing this.

"You have no grasp of what makes sense, girl." Said Snape and rose suddenly from his positions by the tree. "Sirius Black is no saint, and neither is your precious werewolf. I only want people to see them for what they really are, but no-one seems inclined to believe their precious Gryffindors could be anything but saintlike. I assure you, they are not." His voice was even and smooth, but there was a tremble to his left arm that gave away his current fury. Not that there was any use in hiding his feelings. The oncoming rain made it clearer and clearer for me what he felt about this topic. Waves of anger, frustration and a fair amount of hurt, floated through me with increasing intensity while our mental link became stronger. A small part of me was rather fascinated to witness his true feelings, but another part of me wanted to pull away and shut him out. These emotions were incredibly personal, but there was no way I could stop them.

"I know you have a bad history with them, but like I've said before, It's a long time ago. They've changed. You've changed. You have to give them some benefit of the-"

"You may think they've changed since Hogwarts, but I assure you people don't change their nature so easily, miss Tonks. I certainly haven't!"

"I know Sirius isn't the most considerate person in the world. But I don't really see how Remus could be so bad. He's really trying to be a good person! You've only decided to hate him because you want to!"

"You are mistaken, miss Tonks. Lupin is no better than his friend!"

"If you'd only give him a chance to-!"

"Your school girl crush on him has blinded you to the fact that he is a bloodthirsty monster!"

"Don't call him a monster! He's never tried to bite anyone!" I yelled with a burst of fury of my own.

"Hasn't he?" Snape asked challengingly. He turned to walk further into the forest with a growl, shoulders tense. But while I looked after him I felt a drop of rain fall on my nose, and we were hit with the full force of the switch.

A sudden wave of images crashed into my head with such force it pushed me off balance and I fell to the ground. I was running through a dark tunnel while my heart thundered triumphantly against my ribcage. Finally finally, I could figure out what was going on. I could finally find out why Lupin always missed classes. I congratulated myself for my ingenuity. For being able to make Black unintentionally slip this information earlier. Black was an idiot, and they would all pay for his mistake.

At the end of the tunnel I reached a trap door with a large, solid iron padlock on it. I hesitated. What on earth could possibly make it necessary to lock the door with a padlock like this? A small part of me wondered if I should go back. what if this was a trap? But my curiosity got the better f me. I was too close to discover the truth. I couldn't let doubt get the better of me. "Alohomora" I said, and the Lock easily clicked open. I climbed up into what looked like a dingy sitting room with worn wooden panels. The sight of it gave me an eerie sense of foreboding. All the furniture had been ripped to pieces by something large. Something with a lot of teeth. Another wave of doubt hit me while I stared at the furniture. Something tingled in the back of my mind, but I couldn't make out what it was. Why on earth they would send him here?

Then I heard a whimper from upstairs and I headed in that direction with my wand out. I stopped outside a door that was half closed and peeked through the crack. What I saw made my heart thunder in alarm. In the middle of the room was a boy, no more than fifteen, halfway transformed into a hideous beast. Realization dawned upon me while I watched him arch his back, his snout grow longer and fur sprouted slowly out of his skin. The boy let out a painful yowl. A sound that sent a chill all the way down my spine. Panic gripped my insides. I couldn't stay here, I needed to get out, NOW! I stepped away, hoping I could close the door and lock it long enough for me to get out through the trap door, but as I took another step back a floorboard creaked.

The hideous and still half transformed monster snatched his head around and snarled at me. Then it pounced with inhuman agility and strength. I only had time to scream in terror, certain i would die that very moment. But then a beam of red light shot out behind me and hit the werewolf in the chest. "Come on!" yelled a voice behind me "We need to get out of here!"

By this time, I managed to pull out of Snapes memories. I was sprawled on all fours on the ground. Drops of rain dribbled around me. I knew I was not about to be attacked by a werewolf, but the waves of terror still surged through me while I stared at my now long fingers. My black hair fell into my eyes and I covered my mouth with one hand.

I was too angry to cry.

Snape had chosen this memory on purpose. He had wanted to hurt me just because I defended Remus. How could he do that to me? He knew I liked Remus, but after seeing this, how could I ever look at him the same way again? Remus had been so hideous, so terrifying, so . . . monstrous. And to what purpose would he show this to me, unless it was to taint my view of him?

While my vision cleared I felt a strange, creeping feeling of regret form in my stomach. But that wasn't right. I didn't feel regret for this! I hadn't done anything wrong!

But I realized where it came from when I finally turned to look at Snape. He was on his knees and gripped his hair with both hands while he stared at the ground.

"I- I should not have-" he whispered, unable to finish his sentence.

I felt myself rise to my full height (which was significally taller than Snape at the moment). "No, you shouldn't have" I said. My deep voice shook with cold fury. He met my eyes and rose suddenly when I turned away from him to go back to Difficult.

"Wait!" He said, but I refused to stop.

"Miss Tonks, just let me-"

"No! You knew I liked Remus but you still showed me that to spite him. To destroy m feelings for him! You did it because you think he doesn't deserve to have someone care for him- I can't-"

"Well it's true!" He said defensively.

I stared at him and gave a furious huff. "You're unbelievable!" I turned again.

He tried to grab my arm to stop me "No, just-"

"No!" I shook him off and stomped over to Difficult who looked quite unsettled about our shouting.

"Just listen to me!"

"No! I can't look at you right now. Just be quiet and let me think!"

He let go of me finally and I turned to Difficult to saddle her. I did it rather aggressively and Difficult, the poor thing, whinnied and snorted angrily at me when I tightened the saddle strap too hard. She pulled away from me and nudged me with the top of her head - hard. "Ow!" I exclaimed and cradled the offended arm. But meeting her warning glare made me deflate and I felt stupid. "I am sorry, I shouldn't let this out on you." I told her. I petted her for another minute until I felt calm enough to look at Snape.

He looked incredibly troubled. He hadn't moved from his spot, but he had put on a guarded and emotionless expression. It cracked now and then, making him furrow his brows and grit his teeth in concentration but then it was back, the same blank emotionless expression. Strange as it may sound, something in that expression was even more unsettling than his anger.

I felt myself deflate when I saw his face. His waves of emotions faded away with my dizziness, but he must have been rather devastated.

"Look . . . I'll be fine. I just need a bit of time okay?" I said after a while "how about we ride for a little while?" By now it had begun to rain properly. Without waiting for Snapes answer, I pulled out our two cloaks from the bag, put the black one over my own shoulders and handed the brown one to Snape. Then we mounted the horse and rode on without another word.

The air between us was so tense I imagined I could cut it with a knife. I felt guilty for feeling angry. Then I felt angry for feeling guilty. I had a right to be angry about this after all. Images of the boy half transformed into a monster kept flashing before my eyes, every time with a new surge of fear. And guilt. And hatred. And sorrow. And a jumble of other emotions that all tumbled around inside my brain. I didn't know whether I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry or run around screaming in anger. It was all Snapes fault! But . . . I decided to stop thinking about it right now. I would have to give it some time. I patted Snapes arms that were draped around my waist. I wasn't about to throw him off or anything just because he did something mean.

By the time it turned dark my troubled thoughts had thankfully subsided. It was still there but more like a nagging tingle in the back of my head that allowed me to focus on my surroundings. I realized I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, but my mind was preoccupied with more pressing matters. "Do you hear anything?" I asked Snape.

"No, only the rain."

"Exactly, me neither" I said while I looked around. "Has it occurred to you too that we haven't met a single magical creature in the entire forest?"

Snape went quiet for a while, then he said; "No, but the trees are turning bearer and further apart. It is almost like it has made room for something large."

"I don't suppose you think this 'something large' could be nice friendly unicorns or cute giant kittens?"

Snape said nothing for a while "I think we should refrain from making camp."

"We have to, it's turning dark."

"I cannot think of what it could be" he said in a frustrated tone "but there is something wrong."

We decided to set camp against our better judgement. I made Difficult stop by a little creek and we climbed off her back. I made to lead her somewhere she could rest but Snape abruptly grabbed my wrist. "Don't move" he whispered. I felt a wave of terror at his alarmed tone.

I turned, and he pointed at something in between the trees. I couldn't see it at first in the darkness but then I saw the reflection of light in eight huge round eyes. Out of the trees came a fully grown Acromantula creeping slowly towards us.


Authors note:

Hello. I do apologise for the long wait for this chapter. I've had a bit of a writers block lately, and I've had a lot of trouble with this chapter. There are parts I am still not perfectly happy with, but I decided I needed to finish this up and get on with the story. I still hope you'll enjoy it.