Disclaimer: All rights to That '70s Show and its characters belong to The Carsey-Werner company. I am only a fan.

A/N: Thank you so much to all of my wonderful readers and reviewers! I really enjoy reading your thoughts each week. Here is Chapter 4.


What If: Eric and Donna Became Friends With Benefits?

Chapter 4: Secret Squirrel


It was a typical Friday afternoon, and the gang lounged in Eric's basement after school. Jackie sat perched at the end of the couch, her hands folded primly over her short, red and white pleated skirt. She was dressed in her Cheese Maiden uniform, because she had to work this evening. Fez was seated across from her, and he kept openly leering at her legs. She crossed them again, uncomfortably.

Michael didn't seem to notice, but Steven did. He cleared his throat, and clapped Fez on the shoulder. "Hey man. How 'bout a Circle?"

The boys all nodded, excited.

Hyde nudged Fez towards his room. "Great. Go get the stash, man."

Eric was the only one who protested. "Wait - now?"

Steven frowned at him. "'Course I mean now." He raised an eyebrow at his friend, and chuckled. "What, you got someplace else to be?"

"Well, I - " Eric licked his lips. He seemed even more nervous than he usually was. "Yeah. I work today, so…"

Jackie frowned, too. "You're not wearing your smock," she pointed out.

"Thanks, Jackie," Eric responded, sharply. "It's in the car. We don't all have such an elaborate uniform, you know," he gestured to her short skirt with an upturned nose.

"But we're glad you do," Fez cut in, quickly. He'd returned from Steven's bedroom holding a small paper bag, and was staring greedily at her again. Jackie crossed her arms over her chest, annoyed.

Donna chimed in, too. "You guys are disgusting."

"Wha - how am I disgusting?" Eric exclaimed. He and Donna shared a look. It wasn't one Jackie understood.

"Well can you give me a ride to the mall?" Jackie asked Eric. "My shift starts soon, too."

"No!" Eric answered hastily. "No, I have to drive alone. To," he cleared his throat, clearly hesitating. "To do an errand…" he finished, unconvincingly.

Jackie narrowed her eyebrows. Eric was acting twitchier than usual, too. He must've still been taking the break-up really hard, even though it had been a few months now. She guessed she couldn't blame him. He'd never be with someone like Donna again.

"Fine. Michael will drive me." She turned her attention to her handsome, doting boyfriend. Who let out a loud, annoyed groan at her words.

"Jackie - " he whined. She pursed her lips.

"Don't start, Michael," she warned.

Her father had given her a choice - Michael, or her family's money - and she'd chosen Michael. Easily! She loved having nice things, but she was nothing if not a romantic at heart, and she knew from the fairy tales that sometimes you had to make sacrifices for true love. She just didn't realize she'd be the only one in her relationship making them.

"But they're about to have a Circle - "

"And I need a ride to my job. Which I only have because my father cut me off. Because of you!"

"Damn, Jackie. Can I at least finish this episode of Six Million Dollar Man?" Michael continued to pout.

She glanced at her watch, and sighed. "Fine."

Eric, though, made his way to the basement door. He'd shrugged his coat on, and paused with his hand on the door handle. "Well I'll, uh. See you guys later," he announced. He swiped at his nose twice, and gave Donna another meaningful look.

Jackie furrowed her brow - but she seemed to be the only one who saw it.

"Alright, see you later," Donna gave a half-hearted wave.

But just a few moments later, just as Steven started to roll up the joint, Donna sprung up from the couch, too.

"Hey, you know what? I just remembered." She clapped her hands together, like she was trying too hard to be nonchalant. "I have to help my dad with something."

"What the hell?" Fez scowled. "Everyone is leaving."

"I'll be back," Donna started backing away from her friends. "I just, uh. Promised I would help out so… yeah." She turned and sprinted up the steps towards the Forman's kitchen. She was apparently really eager to do those chores.

Jackie frowned, and she caught Steven's eye.

"Forman said he had today off," he said, gruffly.

"I saw Bob in the driveway after school, packing his car. He said he was going ice fishing this weekend," Jackie responded coolly.

He raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Huh."

"Huh," she agreed.

"More for us!" Kelso interrupted. He eagerly reached for the joint, took a puff, and passed it to Fez.

"Yeah, I'll be right back," Jackie said. She stood up and headed for the stairs Donna had just raced up. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Take your time," Michael waved her off. Jackie rolled her eyes.

But when she got upstairs, the kitchen was empty. Donna must've already made a break for home. Damn. She was a wily one, that Pinciotti.

Jackie was still sure Donna was hiding something - probably a new someone she was seeing. Her behavior over the last couple weeks had just been too suspicious.

Now, Jackie crossed to the fridge and pulled out one of the Forman's cheap, generic sodas. She stood in front of the sink to open her soda, still pondering Donna's mysterious new man - and that's when she saw it. A flash of red hair in the front seat of the Vista Cruiser. It was parked outside on the driveway.

Jackie gasped and discarded her soda. She fell to her knees and crawled towards the sliding glass door, hoping to remain undetected.

When she got to the sliding glass door, she poked her head up on bated breath. She couldn't see much - just that Donna was vigorously making out with someone in the front seat. Someone with a red smock on.

"It's Eric!" Jackie hissed, clapping her hand over her mouth in shock.

As if they'd heard her, seconds later the Vista Cruiser pulled forward, out of the Forman driveway. They turned left at the stop sign, and then Jackie lost sight of them.

"Oh, Pinciotti," she chuckled, standing, now. She watched the spot where the Vista Cruiser had disappeared with a smirk. "You are never gonna live this down," she declared.


"So. Donna." Jackie set her stuff down next to Donna at their usual table at The Hub. There was even more pep in her step than usual, and Donna glanced up at her, wearily, over her Geometry homework.

"Uh huh."

"Anything you want to tell me?" Jackie slurped on her diet soda and looked at Donna expectantly.

Donna gave her an iffy look. She was using her nosy voice, and Donna wasn't in the mood.

"Well, you can measure the volume of a rectangular prism by multiplying area times leng- "

"Oh, not boring stuff about school," Jackie interrupted her, impatiently. "I mean is there anything you want to tell me about your love life?" She waggled her eyebrows at Donna.

But Donna scowled. "'Love life'?" she asked, dully. "What love life?"

"Exactly," Jackie squeezed her hand. "Don't you think it's time for you to get back out there?"

Donna sighed. "No. I really don't."

But Jackie was insistent. "Oh, come on. There has to be someone you like…"

"Jackie," Donna sighed again. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Sure." Jackie sat back, and picked at the basket of fries between them. She lifted one to her mouth, and bit into it with a crunch and a smirk. "How about we talk about that hickey on your collarbone?"

Donna dropped her pencil in surprise, and clapped her hand over the red mark on her chest. It was peeking above the lace of her collar, she realized as she glanced down. She started to laugh nervously.

Jackie's smirk just widened, like she knew she had her.

"You are dating someone," Jackie declared proudly - and too loudly. Donna shushed her and threw a weary glance at the tables closest to them. "I knew it."

"Jackie, no. I - " Donna protested, but it was weak even to her own ear.

"What I can't figure out is why," Jackie continued as if Donna hadn't spoken. She fixed Donna with a thousand yard stare. "Why didn't you tell me that you and Eric are back together?"

Donna groaned, and her posture crumpled as she buried her head in her arms. "We're not back together," she insisted, muffled.

"Really? Because you looked pretty back together last night in Eric's car."

Damn it, Donna thought. Damn it, damn it, DAMN it.

"We're not - that's not exactly - it's, uh, complicated…"

"I thought we were best friends, Donna." Jackie was on offense. Here came the guilt she poured on, like no one else. "I thought we tell each other things like - "

"Oh, yeah?" Donna cut her off. It was time to fight fire with some fire of her own. "When were you gonna tell me you're thinking of breaking up with Kelso? Huh?"

It was a guess, but clearly it was a good one.

"I - what?" Jackie was caught off guard. "I don't know what you're talking about," she insisted primly, adjusting her sweater set. "Michael and I are fine. Better than ever."

"Well, Eric and I are too. But we're not back together."

Jackie raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "You're not?"

Donna shook her head. "Definitely not." She picked up a french fry, and casually smeared it in some ketchup before popping it in her mouth. "We're just, you know. Hooking up. Hanging out. Things between us have… kind of never been better." She lifted her eyebrows and chewed slowly, as she contemplated her words.

"Hooking up," Jackie repeated. Her tone was dripping with… judgment? Disbelief? "You're having casual sex, with Eric?" She wrinkled up her nose dramatically. "Eww. Why?"

"Jackie!" Donna hissed at her, glaring - the last thing Donna wanted right now was the attention of their classmates. For more people to know about this.

"I'm sorry," Jackie chuckled. She lowered her voice. "Eww. Why?" she repeated, softer.

"It's… complicated." Donna shrugged, and popped another french fry into her mouth. "But at least we stopped arguing."

"Oh, I noticed." Jackie shot back, her eyes narrowed. Donna's stomach clenched unpleasantly.

"Jackie. Let's just drop it."

But no such luck.

"I can't believe this," Jackie continued to chuckle. But at least she was keeping her voice down. She chewed on the straw from her drink and watched Donna, contemplatively. "This isn't like you."

"I know - " Donna blushed. What did Jackie think about her now? she thought. That she was easy, a whore? A bad feminist? A -

"I mean. Sex with an ex, Donna? The Bible forbids it."

Donna rolled her eyes. "It does not."

"Oh, yes it does, Donna. Cosmo warns that - "

She rolled her eyes harder. She should've known Jackie was referring to Cosmo.

" - extremely common, but that you'll regret it in the end." Jackie was nodding vigorously. "You're only making it harder for yourself to move on - "

"No, no. I've moved on," Donna interrupted. "We're not together anymore, Jackie." She lifted her eyebrows at her friend, willing her to understand. "It's one of our rules. We can both date anybody we want. This is just sex."

"I mean emotionally, Donna. Duh!" Jackie responded, condescendingly. "You're not going to be able to move on from him emotionally if you're doing it with him all the time!"

Wrong again. Donna shook her head. "That's the best part. Jackie, there are no feelings anymore. We agreed - "

"Oh, Donna. You're such a child." Jackie shook her head at her, her tone even more cloying, patronizing. "There are always feelings."

"Yeah, well. Not anymore," Donna said, more darkly than she'd intended. She stood up from the table, shoving her Geometry book back into her bag.

"Donna - "

"No, Jackie." She didn't understand, and Donna's frustration was mounting. "You just don't get it, okay?"

She and Eric didn't work - they were romantically incompatible, and their dissolution had nearly broken Donna. But this? This… arrangement allowed her to stay close to him, to have her best friend in her life again, to enjoy the best parts of being with him without having to deal with the stress, the anguish, the arguing that they'd learned a serious relationship brought. She couldn't admit it out loud to Jackie - couldn't admit it to herself - but Eric was her life raft right now, the only thing she was clinging to as her entire fucking ship went down. And in return, he got… sex. It was practically an even trade.

"Okay." Jackie's voice dropped, uncharacteristically soft. "I just - I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"Well it's too late for that, isn't it?"

Donna felt her eyes burning and she ducked her head, turning away from her friend.

She'd walk home.


At the same time, Eric and Hyde sat side-by-side on the basement couch. They were passing a joint back and forth, and watching the end of a Badgers hockey game on TV.

"So, how long have you been nailin' Donna, man?" Hyde asked, casually.

Eric's stomach dropped to the floor. "W-what?"

He glanced over at Hyde, shocked, but his best friend's expression was the same as always: unassuming, and mostly unreadable behind his tinted sunglasses. He didn't say anything else, and Eric gulped.

"I'm - uh - I-I don't know what you're t-"

"Heard you foolin' around on the deep freeze last weekend when I got home from a late shift."

"O-oh." Eric felt his face turning red, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. "Yeah, we, um. Didn't know you were home - "

"That's obvious." Hyde chuckled. The joint was tiny now, and Hyde leaned forward to put it out in the ashtray.

"Sorry, man."

But Hyde waved him off. "Nah, man. I'm happy for ya." He sat back into the couch, and nudged Eric's shoulder. "So you're back together?"

"Not…exactly."

Hyde glanced at him. Eric hesitated, trying to come up with an explanation.

"More like we're hanging out."

Hyde's eyebrow - and his curiosity - were piqued. "'Hanging out'?"

"Yeah. You know," Eric cleared his throat. "We're doing less talking, less thinking, less fighting and more…"

"Screwing on the deep freeze," Hyde supplied.

"Exactly." Eric snapped his fingers.

"Huh," Hyde said, carefully, but something in his tone caught Eric wrong.

"What?"

"Nothin'." Hyde smoothed a hand over his chin, like he was thinking. "So you're not back together?"

"Nope."

"You're just havin' sex."

"So much sex." Eric grinned.

"Huh," Hyde said again.

"What?"

He smirked. "Maybe I should hang out with Donna."

Eric shot him a hard look. A 'that isn't funny' look.

Hyde just laughed.

"She wouldn't," Eric informed him, quickly.

"No, I wouldn't," Hyde replied. "But it kinda sounds like Donna's a free agent. Who's to stop, you know, Kelso, from swoopin' in and stickin' his dipstick where - "

"Uh, I don't know. Jackie?" Eric cut him off, impatiently.

Hyde lifted his eyebrows, unimpressed. He looked like he was going to say something else, but Eric cut him off.

"I'm keeping her plenty busy, my friend. Not worried about that."

Hyde sucked on his teeth, and it made a sound. "Whatever you say."

They returned to the hockey game, and watched in relative silence for several minutes. The Badgers were beating the Minnesota Gophers by just one goal, and the game clock ticked by rapidly. A sense of urgency permeated.

"I gotta tell you, Forman," Hyde's voice was gruff, belying his sincerity. "I think this might be a bad idea."

"You're telling me. They only have twenty seconds left on this power play, and - "

"Not the game, man. I mean you and Donna."

Eric took a beat to process his oldest friend's words. He wasn't sure if it was the effects of the pot, or what - but Hyde almost never offered his unsolicited opinion on personal matters. He turned to glance at him in disbelief.

"What? What do you mean?"

Hyde looked just as uncomfortable as Eric felt. "Just that - I don't know, man." He still stared straight ahead, at the hockey game. "You and Donna. Bein' together, but not really bein' together." He shrugged. He finally looked at Eric. "It just seems like someone's gonna get hurt," he finished, quietly.

Eric's disbelief intensified. Hyde was worried about his feelings? Hestarted to chuckle, at the absurdity.

"Look, man. It's just the opposite," he clapped his hand on Hyde's shoulder, to reassure him. "Donna and I are finally getting along again. We're keeping our feelings out of it."

"Uh huh." Hyde still watched him, in a way that made Eric feel increasingly uneasy. "And you're sure that's something you can do?"

"Maybe it's what I have to do."

"Forman - "

Eric pushed off the couch and stood up, irritated.

"Hey. Maybe butt out, okay?"

"Forman, I'm just - " but Eric didn't hear the rest of his explanation. He let the basement door slam behind him, and took the outside steps two at a time.

Hyde didn't get it. No one would get it. But no one had to - except for them.


"I should go soon." Eric hummed the words against her forehead. Groggily, Donna shifted.

"Hmm?"

Outside it was icy and frosty, and the inside of her window pane fogged up in contrast. Donna's bedroom was cozy and warm, and after tonight's activities they'd cuddled up underneath her duvet and taken a long, post-coital nap.

"It's late," Eric said. He moved like he was going to sit up, and Donna blearily moved off of him. "Wouldn't want to, ah. Break our rules, now, would we?"

Something in his tone made Donna roll her eyes. "Eric - "

"What?" he protested. He was standing now, and hunting around the floor for his various items of clothing. "I'm serious. A rule's a rule." He'd found his pants, and was tugging them on. He met her eyes meaningfully. "And you know I follow the rules, Donna."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

The truth was she'd be okay with him staying over. No, the truth was she wanted him to stay over. What she didn't want to do was analyze what the hell that meant. And she sure as hell wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of telling him that.

"Speaking of our rules," Eric cleared his throat, and pulled his t-shirt over his head. "You haven't told anyone, right?"

She went rigid. Did he know about Jackie…?

"No. No, of course not," she scoffed. She carefully arranged her features in what she hoped was a casual expression. "Why?"

"Nothing," he answered, too quickly. "N-no reason." He cleared his throat. "Because, um. I haven't told anyone, either."

Now Donna narrowed her eyes. "Good. Because it's supposed to be a secret, Eric."

"I know!" He put his hands up defensively.

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "You haven't…?"

"No! No."

"Okay good. Me neither," she quickly added.

"Good." He was almost dressed, and now he sat on the edge of her bed to slip his shoes on. "Hey Donna. We're havin' fun, right?"

She quirked her eyebrow up at him. "Did it not sound like I was having fun…?"

He laughed quietly, to himself. "Okay. I just wanted to, you know. Make sure."

"Are you having fun?" She didn't know why her heartbeat was suddenly thudding.

But Eric looked up at her, surprised. "Yeah. Yeah, of course I am." He smiled. "It kind of feels like the good old days. You know, back before everything got so serious between us. When our relationship was like, the most fun thing in our lives."

"Yeah," Donna said, softly.

He held her gaze for a moment too long, and they both started to blush.

He cleared his throat, and stood up from the bed.

"Anyway."

"Anyway," she agreed.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," Eric leaned forward and tapped her nose, affectionately. Then he winked. "Secret Squirrel."