We belong together
A.N. The title of this chapter is taken from the song to Toy Story 3 by Randy Newman. Also, a line from Friends appears somewhere in this entry. In case you haven't noticed, I like Friends.
"I-, what?". Cameron had her hands on hips, midway through a tirade. But House's words caught her completely off-guard.
House grinned at her from his perch on the desk corner. Now that he'd got it out in the open it felt like a weight had been lifted. "I love you, Cameron", he repeated, arms folded.
Her mouth opened then closed a couple of times, a flood of emotions rolling around her mind as she attempted first to comprehend what House had said and then to maintain the crux of the complaint which had brought her up here in the first place. The whole exercise was proving all the more challenging given that the other was doing nothing except beaming back at her. "I'm, you can't…", she spluttered, "that's not-, I'm still…angry. You can't just say…that and…change the subject", she finished lamely.
"Hmm. Sorry".
"I'm still angry", she repeated, meeting his gaze, though in truth her fury had evaporated.
"Yes, you look it; incandescent with rage, actually. But if it's all the same to you, I'll kiss you now, accepting that you are angry but really hoping that it'll end this debate". He walked up to the other and placed both hands on her cheeks, tilting her face upwards gently. "Is that OK, Dr. Angry?".
"You are such a moron", Cameron muttered into his mouth, breathing in the scent she had come to know so well, placing her own hands over his as they held her. For so long she had dreamt of this moment, had wondered how it would feel and where it would happen, if it did.
This office was probably a fitting backdrop—the place they had spent so much time as colleagues; the place things had first changed between them. Cameron regarded House's office as a second home. Not just because she worked unsociably long hours within these walls, but also because it was, now, the place to which she looked for comfort. Sometimes she would glimpse through the glass House working at his desk, or playing his Gameboy, or watching television, and it would bring her a measure of comfort, simply knowing that he was close.
House pulled back, rubbing a tear away with his thumb. "You're crying. Is my kissing really that bad?".
Cameron half-laughed, half-coughed as she wiped her eyes roughly with the back of her hand. "I'm not crying. I just have, er, something irritating my contact lenses".
"Uhuh. So, what's your response?".
"My response to what?". The last few minutes had passed by in a whirlwind and she was struggling to process everything.
"My, er, declaration a moment ago".
"Ah. That. Yes, it was highly effective, with significant emotional impact. You did well. I wasn't expecting it, and I'm glad it happened here. Smart play also to defuse the situation. The old two birds with one stone tactic. All in all, top marks".
"Yeah, but…what's your response? Do you, er, feel similarly?". House's eyes flashed with uncertainty; so much so that Cameron fixed him with a strange look. "That's a strange look".
"Umm, are you kidding, or…?", she asked, tilting her head.
"Huh? I'm not kidding. I really do…", he answered, beginning to fidget even more. For a second, he thought he'd made a catastrophic mistake, and his mind frantically ran through various retractions. "I mean, it's OK if you don't…absolutely no pressure. We can just be friends if you, ah, want".
"Sorry, House, just to clarify a couple of things: first of all, we are never going to be 'just friends'. If this ends at some point in the future, if you decide that we can't be together, I ain't gonna be calling in for coffee and cake. Second of all, and I can't believe I need to say this, but you're aware that I've been in love with you for, like, two years, right?", she queried in a tone of disbelief, both hands palm down on his shirt.
"Err, what? Really? No, I just…you only said you liked me when I confronted you in the lab a few months back".
"I said I liked you a lot", Cameron corrected. "If you cast your mind back to our head to head in this office, you'll also remember that I said we belonged together. And before even that, outside Mark Warner's hospital room, I explicitly mentioned love to you. Pretty big hints regarding how I felt, no?".
"No, but-, I thought you were…I mean, I didn't know you felt like that; that strongly, I mean". Now House was struggling to process developments.
"How can you be so good at reading people and so crap at reading me? I'm really not that sophisticated; just a normal Chicago girl".
"I've always struggled to read you, Cameron".
The woman smiled faintly as she recalled thinking exactly this at her dining table while drinking hot chocolate. She was, it seemed, House's blind spot.
"And you're not normal", he added, kissing her nose, which she wrinkled predictably against the scratchiness of his stubble. "You've also not told me your response, even now".
Cameron nodded and took both his hands, holding them firmly against her heart. "You're right", she whispered, tilting her lips upwards. "I love you too, Gregory House, more than anything, and I'm beyond ecstatic that you feel as you do. I've wanted this for a long time. Does that satisfy you? Is that clear enough?".
"Yes, that's satisfactory. Thanks for sorting out the confusion", he returned softly.
"Good". The pair kissed for a few moments, before sharing a deep hug, Cameron breathing into his shirt, purring contentedly.
"Hey, Cameron?", he whispered into her hair.
"Mmm?".
"Have you ever been with a woman?".
She pulled back and rested her fists against his chest. "House, what is the matter with you?".
"Huh", murmured the other, thinking, "so there really is no good time to ask that question…".
"There really isn't", she agreed with a chuckle. "What time is it, anyway?".
"Must be close to seven".
"You fancy grabbing some dinner then heading back to yours?". Although Cameron still had designs on exploring his apartment, that could wait until tomorrow. Right now she craved his bed.
House thought about it, tugging her ears playfully. "We could, although…did you bring your winter coat and gloves to work today?".
"Of course. We Illinoisans are always prepared for the cold. I'd need to retrieve my stuff from the locker room, though. What're you thinking?", she smiled, observing his eyes glaze as he thought.
"How'd you fancy a rooftop tipple? Looks to be a pretty clear night—might be able to see some stars".
"Hmm. Go on, then". With a final peck on the lips, Cameron disentangled herself from his arms and made for the door. "See you up there in five?".
"Make it ten. I need to collect a few things".
Cameron opened the fire escape and walked out onto the roof. November was wearing on, and the air carried a chill. "House?".
Just ahead, she saw a phone light filter through the gloom. "Je suis ici, ma belle. Suivez la lumière et le son de ma voix. Le chemin est libre". [I'm over here, beautiful. Follow the light and the sound of my voice. The way is clear].
She shook her head, desperately trying to think back to high school French. "Je préfère l'anglais. Mon français, er, craint!" [I prefer English. My French sucks!].
House chuckled before he replied: "but French is the language of love, and isn't Chicago basically Canada, anyway?".
"Not quite". She made her way over to the wide railings which ran along the periphery, kissing him before taking out her phone and turning on the torch, which she placed next to his on a nearby metal bollard. Though not pitch black, they definitely needed artificial illumination.
House produced a bottle of whiskey and poured generous measures. The pair clinked glasses and took a sip.
"Where did you get this on such short notice?".
"I've got scotch stashed all over the place. But this gem lives behind the lupus textbook. Y'know, 'cos it's-".
"-never lupus", she finished.
House only smiled, and the pair lapsed into silence. From this vantage point atop the main hub, they could see all across the hospital grounds. Since PPTH was a teaching establishment, it housed Princeton University medical school, which comprised a cluster of buildings to the west; and to the east lay an independent research institution with ties to both Princeton and Yale. The area was large, and it seemed even more so due to the oases of green that filled their sightline. The network of roads and by-ways were lined with trees, their branches almost bare as they swayed in the late autumn breeze, and the numerous small ponds glittered in the middle distance. Even in the twilight, or maybe because of it, the scene was an arresting one. House reached down and took Cameron's gloved hand in his own.
Cameron leant against his shoulder. "It's very beautiful", she murmured, as if detecting his thoughts.
"It is", he grunted, taking another sip of whiskey.
"I don't suppose you had any food hidden behind that lupus textbook, too?", she whispered hopefully. Alcohol always made her hungry.
"It's your lucky day, Camster". House reached down and retrieved a huge party bag of Doritos from the rucksack by his feet. At her inquisitive glance he shrugged: "vegetative state guy. He's the only one I know who'll never tap into my snack supply".
At first he tried to liberate his left hand from her grip, but she held on tight. "I'm not letting you go, House. You'll have to improvise".
House sighed, but nevertheless tore open the packet with his teeth and spare hand.
Cameron took a fistful for herself before looking to the man at her side, who was having difficulty figuring out how to get the crisps into his face, given that he also needed to hold the bag. "Would you like a hand, hun?", she asked pleasantly.
"I would like my hand. And I'm not convinced 'hun' works. Just putting that out there". House considered tipping the whole thing into his mouth. Desperate times.
She chewed thoughtfully for a few seconds. "Yes, you're probably right. But you didn't like 'darling' either, so you're not really making it easy for me, babe".
"Yep, I see what you did there. Very good. The Chicago comedy circuit lost a shining light when you decided on medicine, Cameron".
"We'll keep brainstorming ideas, hey, munchkin? No need to decide right now, sweetheart. Here…". Cameron reached in for another fistful and began to feed him Doritos. The lack of light meant that every now and then one hit him in the eye or missed all together and tumbled to the concrete. "This is like when we had cotton candy at monster trucks", she giggled.
"That was a fun one", he muttered in between crunches.
"Mmm. I've often wondered how significant that evening was for you".
"Well, now, let's not ruin a lovely night out by getting personal", he replied, imitating his own words from the time.
"I hate to break it to you, lover boy", she grinned, "but I fear we're somewhat past that stage".
House grunted, though his next words were far-off, as if unnerved at how much he was willing to confide. "It was significant. I'd had thoughts about you before that, not least when we were treating that lacrosse guy, but it was the first time I properly began harbouring…deeper feelings for a member of my staff".
"So you always intended on asking me, sort of like a date?". She could remember explaining it away to Chase as simply down to the fact that House had seen her first.
"Well, Wilson was my first choice. You were a close second".
Cameron stroked his arm and leant against it again. "I don't mind being a close second to Wilson". As she had promised herself recently, she would never look to supplant the oncologist as the prime focus of House's affection.
"What about you? Was it significant?".
"Yep". The ease with which she uttered the word surprised Cameron. "Monster trucks was the start of my journey. I'd always had a soft spot for your weird unconventionality, of course, but I suppose that evening crystallised my attraction". When they had been walking together that night a couple had crossed their path completely lovestruck; seeing this, images of being with House formed in her brain. Those mental pictures had always failed to dissipate, no matter how much she had tried to deny her feelings through the dark days, when it seemed he would never accept a relationship.
House inclined his head towards the other in the darkness. "You mentioned in the office that you've waited two years. Have you really had the hots for me that long?".
"Yes".
This straightforward affirmation hung in the air between them, though House found its finality strangely comforting. After all, it was Cameron's certainty in the rightness of this situation that most appealed to him and served to soften his own misgivings which inevitably centred on the age gap, his position of power, and his disability.
"That must've been hard for you, to deal with that".
"I guess. Though as I told you a while back, I knew you'd reach the right decision eventually".
"Why's that?".
Cameron nudged his hip. "Because I'm hot and smart? And because", she added in a more serious tone, "I knew you liked me. I knew that your beautiful brain would see what was right in front of your face: a woman just waiting for you to reach out, hug her to yourself, and allow her to love you for the man you are".
"Notting Hill?", asked House, munching on another Dorito.
"Allison Cameron. Though I'll admit it sounded less cheesy in my head".
House only scoffed, pulling her closer.
"How many languages do you speak?", she asked suddenly, remembering his perfectly accented French from earlier.
"A few of the European ones, Mandarin, Japanese, and a bit of Arabic and Hindi. The last three are pretty rusty since I've not needed them in a while".
"And Latin", Cameron added.
"Yeah, but it's not a spoken language and you asked how many I could speak".
"That's amazing". Her partner's capacity for knowledge was inspiring and not a little sexy.
House shrugged. "Once you have a couple down, it becomes easier to pick up more. Languages are all related, and a lot of them share the same structures".
"So what you're saying is that the Tower of Babel story in the Bible is actually historically accurate? Interesting…", she murmured, popping a few more crisps into his mouth and taking the bag.
He reached across with his freed right hand and grabbed a handful of her hair, playfully whipping her in the face with it. "For an atheist, you sure do talk a lot about religion".
She giggled, screwing her eyes shut against the 'torture'. "I just do it to annoy you. Plus, the topic is pretty fascinating".
"I remember when you approached me in the clinic during Vogler and engaged me on the subject of God. Actually, I think you called me God". House had agreed to peddle one of the man's drugs in exchange for being allowed to keep his team. The immunologist had conveyed her appreciation in weirdly religious terms and surprised him with the nuance of her thinking.
For the first time since coming up to the roof, Cameron turned fully towards the other. "There is no God. And even if there is, you're not him. Or her. You're Greg House. And you're mine".
"Amen", breathed House, initiating a tender kiss, before once again returning to face out onto the world, the distant peal of sirens piercing the air.
The pair remained this way for some time, hands entwined, watching as true darkness blanketed the grounds and the streetlamps shimmered far below.
In my head I have a lot more to write, but I'm very aware how long this story is already (and how much of my time it has taken), and I really don't want to overstay my welcome. Views have tailed off a bit this month, and this would be a good place to stop, with a 'confession' of mutual love. If some people are still enjoying House and Cameron, though, I'll absolutely carry on!
