The cave fell silent. Luigi has balls. Everyone was worried for the green plumber. What is Mickey going to do to him? He's probably going to beat him. He kind of deserves it for lying to Ness and then trapping him, but Ness couldn't help but still feel bad for what's about to happen.
Mickey: "So remind me what you said."
Luigi: "I said don't talk to Mario like that."
Mickey: "Oh pal, you're in for a big one."
Mickey walked over to Luigi. The two stared each other down. Mario went in between them.
Mario: "Uh, he didn't mean it."
Mickey: "Mario, move aside."
Mario: "But uh-
Mickey: "Move aside."
Mario moved out of the way.
Mickey was about to slap Luigi, but Goofy grabbed Mickey's arm.
Mickey: "Goofy?"
Goofy: "I know how you feel, but you gotta respect him. You would stand up for me too, right?"
Mickey: "Why of course."
Goofy: "You can tell he's scared, but he loves his brother so much. You shouldn't hurt him. He's too pure and stupid."
Mickey: "I guess you're right."
Luigi: "Y-you're not going to hit me?"
Mickey: "No, you're not worth it."
Luigi: "Oh come on, why?"
Everyone blinked.
Goofy: "Did you just beg?"
Luigi: "Uh, I mean, thank you for not hitting me."
Goofy: "I uh, I don't like the green one."
Mickey: "Hey Mario, I think there's something wrong with your brother."
Mario: "Come here, Luigi."
Mario grabbed Luigi's ear and pulled him aside.
Mario: "I told you not to be like that. It's embarrassing."
Luigi: "I'm sorry, the words slipped out."
Mario: "You need to fix this behavior. Now get out of here."
Luigi: "But-
Mario: "Go back to the hospital. You still need to heal."
Luigi: "They let me off today."
Mario: "Fine, I want you to feed the prisoners and clean their shit up. Mickey, Goofy, and I have some planning to do."
Luigi: "Oh, ok."
Mickey: "Well we gotta go."
Goofy: "It was nice meeting everyone."
Mickey went to Sonic and gave him a handshake.
Mickey: "It was nice seeing you again, old rival."
Sonic: "Uh, thanks."
Mickey walked over to Gordon and shook his hand. Gordon wasn't going to talk and neither was Mickey. Next he went to Ness. The teen expected a handshake like the other two but instead Mickey put his hand on Ness's head. He just lingered and stared at him for a moment. Then he snapped back to reality.
Mickey: "Well I gotta be on my way."
Ness: "Phew."
Mickey: "Goodbye, Ness."
Ness: "B-bye?"
Gordon: "That was something."
Ness: "D-did you guys see that?"
Kawasaki: "See what?"
Ness: "Why did he say goodbye to me in particular and why didn't I get a handshake?"
Sonic: "Maybe he just doesn't like you."
Ness: "What did I do?"
Sonic: "You did question him."
Ness: "So did Kawasaki."
Gordon: "Your fun to bully. Kawasaki is too stupid to know what's going on."
Ness: "Fair."
Sonic: "Man, I missed the chili dog."
Gordon: "I'm surprised he gave us real food."
Kawasaki: "It was so nice of him."
Gordon: "Kawasaki, you think he's nice in general."
Kawasaki: "I mean yeah he gives us food and he keeps us company."
Gordon: "Oh Jesus Christ please help me. I'm stuck with an autistic orange jelly bean."
Kawasaki: "An artist? I guess cooking food does count, huh?"
Gordon: "Aaaaah!" *punches wall* "Ouch."
Kawasaki: "Dear me, are you ok?"
Gordon: "I'm fine."
Kawasaki: "Oh thank goodness you're ok."
Gordon: "Stop talking to me."
Kawasaki: "What? Why?"
Gordon: "I will hurt myself again."
Kawasaki: "Huh? Why would you-
Sonic: "Aaaanyway so uh, Luigi how've you been?"
Luigi: "In the hospital."
Sonic: "Did your uh, girlfriend visit you?"
Luigi: "Yes."
Sonic: "Ah, see, that's good news."
Luigi: "Yeah, we uh… It was fun."
Sonic: "Did you guys make out?"
Luigi: "Yes."
Sonic: "Nice!"
-Luigi's flashback-
Luigi was happily resting on his comfortable hospital bed. He saw the curtains open and Daisy was now in the room with him. She had a worried look on her face.
"Luigi, what happened?" Daisy put her hand on her chest.
"Oh, hi Daisy, I uh… Fell down the stairs."
"Aww, poor baby," She hugged him into her breasts.
"Thank you, Daisy."
"Although, it looks like someone punched you in the face over and over again."
"My face kept landing on the stairs."
"Aww, here will a kiss make it better?"
"Yes."
Daisy pecked his cheek. He looked adorable despite his face being bruised. It looked manly. She knew he fell down the stairs, but he imagined that he fought someone and won. That's why his face is all messed up. It was an epic fight because his opponent wanted to take Daisy away. How heroic.
The two stared at each other for a moment. Then she closed her eyes and puckered her lips. Luigi and Daisy shared a passionate kiss. She imagined him being buff and saving her from Bowser like how Mario does with Peach. Luigi on the other hand thought about something else. He started thinking about Ness. He liked it when the psychic was beating his face in. It hurt, but for some reason it was exciting. He imagined Ness beating him down and then forcing Luigi to lick his shoes, while calling him useless. Oh my god, this is so wrong. He's supposed to be thinking about Daisy. He is supposed to be the dominant one. He's supposed to think about choking Daisy in bed and commanding her to suck Luigi Jr. What is wrong with him?!
After the kiss was done, Daisy said her goodbyes. Luigi felt guilty. He shouldn't be thinking about someone else. Especially since it's a guy and he's a lot younger. He's not illegal, but it still felt wrong. He only liked the kiss because of that dirty thought. This isn't good. Maybe he should beg the guards to be factory reset. He needs to forget about everything, but then Mario might get angry. Mario needed Luigi in his plans, so if he forgot about everything about this whole mess, Mario might be in trouble.
Luigi snuck out of the hospital once again. He went straight to the bar and drank a bunch of alcohol. Ah yes, he missed being drunk. Everything is a lot easier. This way he can forget about his problems, at least until he becomes sober again.
Luigi passed out on the counter. When he woke up, he checked the time. It was 2am in the morning. It's still dark out. Let's see, he got here when it was 9pm. He's been in this spot for a long time. He finally became sober, but his head throbbed. He asked the bartender for water. The waddle dee happily gave him a glass. He needs to keep drinking water for a little longer.
?: "Luigi?"
"Waaaah!" Luigi jumped from his seat. He looked behind him to see Ness.
"Hey, dude, you ok?" Ness asked.
"W-what are you doing here?! Y-you're supposed to be in the cave!"
"Uh, I'm the clone, duh."
"O-oh, that's-a right there's two of you."
"You look tense. Is everything alright?"
"I shouldn't say it."
"Oh ok."
"Fuck it, I'mma just gonna say it."
"Oh ok?"
"I don't think I have feelings for Daisy anymore."
"You mean the hot brunette chick with the yellow dress?"
"Yeah, her."
"What? But she's such a catch. Well, she does look like a bitch."
"She is, but not in the fun please degrade me, daddy in bed way."
"Whoa, what? You got some sort of submissive kink?"
"I think so. I liked it when Ness hit me. I liked it too much. I hate that I was into it."
"Oh yeah that did happen, huh? Wait, Ness?!"
"Yeah."
"Dude, he punched you? Wow, I didn't think he was the type to be violent."
"He's usually sweet. Too sweet. He gave me the benefit of the doubt and I betrayed him."
"Sounds like he deserved it."
"No, he didn't. He's very kind. I feel bad for what I did to him. He's becoming angrier."
"I can tell. He's always panicked."
"It's all my fault."
"I mean, you had to. Otherwise Mario would do something to you."
"Although, I hate to admit it, I like his aggressive angry side."
"It's a win-win for you."
"I think I like him and I don't know what to do about that."
"Wow…"
"I know I'm the worst."
"Are you drunk?"
"Not anymore."
"Cool, so I can negotiate with you."
"Huh?"
"Hey, you and I can do stuff."
"What?" Luigi blushed.
"If you promise not to tell Mario."
"W-what're you saying?!"
"You're my type. Cute and submissive! We could fool around, just don't tell anyone."
"N-no I shouldn't. It's wrong."
"Up to you. I won't push ya."
"Uh, please let me think about it."
"No worries, just give me holler," Ness put a sticky note on the table.
Luigi picked it up. It was Ness's number. He took his eyes off the sticky note to see him, but he left. This is so wrong. He's the clone! It's not even the real Ness. Although it was tempting. No one would have to know. This could be his only chance to experiment with another guy. A dominant guy who just called him cute. Oh no… What should he do?
-End of flashback-
Kawasaki: "That's nice that you have a special someone, Luigi."
Luigi: "Y-yeah, she's my special sweetheart."
Ness: "Why is that hard to believe?"
Sonic: "Dude, you just wanna fuck Luigi."
Ness: "No, I don't, but I think we can agree that Luigi is in the closet."
Sonic: "Ok yeah, that's fair. He's at least bi."
Gordon: "Yeah, this guy acts too sus to just be straight."
Luigi: "No, I am straight. In fact, when I get back home, Daisy and I are going to passionately hug."
Sonic: "Passionately hug? Who says that? Just say fuck."
Luigi: "I'm-a sorry, was that weird?"
Gordon: "Yes. Everything about you is weird."
An awkward silence passed. Luigi awkwardly collected their cans of cat food. When he approached Ness he flinched as he raised the can up to his face. He expected Ness to try to hurt him again, but he didn't.
Ness: "Here."
Luigi: "Ah! Waaah!"
Ness: "Are you ok?" *Raises a brow*
Sonic: "Of course not! Last time you punched him."
Ness: "Oh right. You definitely deserved it for betraying me, but I also feel bad, so I apologize. I promise I won't do that again."
Sonic: "Yeah, otherwise maybe Mickey might give it to ya instead of Mario."
Ness: *shudders* "Yeah, I'm not crossing him again."
Luigi: "I accept your apology." *blushes*
Ness: "Hmm…"
Luigi blushed as Ness averted his eyes and apologized to him. He noticed that Ness was blushing. Oh wait, he's always blushing. It's permanent. He has got to stop reading into it! Ness isn't into him. In fact, he hates him. Well if he did hate him, he wouldn't have apologized. He shook his head. He needs to stop thinking about this. He grabbed the can from Ness and moved on. He went to Kawasaki and saw that he was chewing on the lid.
Luigi: "Uh, why are you chewing on the can?"
Kawasaki: "Oh, sorry, sometimes I like to chew. Oh and I love to eat. I once ate a baby bottle."
Luigi: "How?"
Kawasaki: "I have a strong gut."
Sonic: "He is from the Kirby universe."
Luigi: "That's-a fair."
Luigi grabbed the slimy can from Kawasaki. Eww, gross. Luckily he's always wearing gloves. After putting the cans inside a garbage bag, he began collecting their wastes as usual. He scanned the cave to make sure he didn't forget anything. Yup, everything is clear. It's time for him to go back home and sleep.
Luigi: "Bye, guys."
Sonic: "See ya."
Kawasaki: "Bye."
Luigi left the cave. The rest laid on their side ready for sleep to take them. However, Ness was thinking. He thought about Luigi's strange behavior. It's so obvious that Luigi likes him. He doesn't want to be with Daisy, that's for sure. He could use this. He could probably get something out of this. In fact, wait… Kawasaki! That's perfect! Hopefully Kawasaki will be on board.
Ness: "I got it!"
Gordon: "Kid, shut up. I'm trying to sleep."
Ness: "I have an idea."
Gordon: "You sure it won't screw us up again?"
Ness: "This one won't involve hurting Luigi."
Sonic: "Damn, I wanted to see you beat the shit out of him again. It was funny."
Ness: "No he likes it."
Sonic: "Fucking true!"
Ness: "This plan involves all of us working together."
Gordon: "I don't know, kid. You keep messing up."
Ness: "Hey, remember the Villager incident? He could come back anytime and kill us."
Gordon: "Ok, what's the plan?"
Ness: "Kawasaki plays a big role here."
Kawasaki: "I do?"
Ness: "Yeah, that new information about you eating ridiculous things might come in handy."
Gordon: "Are you kidding? There's no way this guy is going to understand anything you tell him."
Ness: "I think he can do it."
Gordon: "This is Kawasaki we're talking about. He's not the smartest."
Kawasaki: "Hey! Not nice. I know how to follow plans."
Gordon: "If that were true, then your restaurant wouldn't be failing."
Kawasaki: "Ouch, so mean."
Sonic: "Come on, let's hear the plan out first."
Ness: "Alright, we're going to have to be coordinated. Also this plan only gives us leverage. It might not mean escape, but it might help me think of another way out. We're going to have to trick Luigi."
Sonic: "What do you mean leverage?"
Ness: "Don't worry, I'll tell you. Alright listen closely."
