-The hunt-
Villager managed to get out. That fucking bitch Kirby. How could she do this to him? He thought she was being genuine. He thought she loved him. She betrayed him and she's going to pay. He's going to find her.
He went to visit Duck Hunt's dog house. The dog and the duck hopped out expecting treats. Villager made sure to bring the duck crackers and the dog beef jerky. They munched on it happily.
Duck Hunt: "Woof!" (What do you want me to do?)
Villager: "I want you to find Kirby."
Villager took out a small jewelry box. He opened it and it was a patch of Kirby's pink hair. The dog smelled it. He found her trail.
DH: "Woof!" (I found her!)
Villager: "Good, lead me to her."
Duck Hunt howled and ran at full speed to the direction where Kirby is.
Villager: "I'm coming for you, Kirby."
…
-Finding The Time Machine-
It took Little Mac hours but he found someone that could possibly hack into the system. It's Jeff. He needs to find that nerd. He went to Smash Town Square. He's only been here once or twice. It's a big plaza. This is the place where the spirits live. Man, this place is so big, how is he going to find Jeff? There's gotta be a way.
He searched around, but he couldn't find him. He asked every spirit he came across and none of them knew where the nerd was. He decided to go to the rooftop of a tall building. He might be able to spot Jeff from a bird's pov. He rested his arm on the guard rail. Honestly this view was nice. This was a nice rest from all the crazy.
Rustle Rustle
Little Mac turned around. He didn't see anything except a trashcan on the edge of the roof. Wait, what's a trashcan doing here? Hmm, people do smoke. That's probably why. He went back to staring down at the plaza looking for Jeff. However, he couldn't help but feel as if someone was inside that trash can. Could it be a bad guy? He went over to it and gently kicked it. Nothing. He shrugged his shoulders and opened the lid. He jumped back and screamed as he saw a kid with glasses inside the can.
When Little Mac screamed, the kid screamed and tipped the trashcan over. He fell hard on his face. Little Mac approached him and poked the boy on the cheek.
"Are you alive?" Little Mac asked.
"D-don't hurt me…" The boy covered his head.
"I'm not gonna hurt ya. Actually, do you know someone named Jeff?"
"Jeff? No, sorry."
The kid looked up at Little Mac with a scared expression on his face. Wait, this kid looks like the guy he was looking for. He says he doesn't know any Jeff though. That's weird. How does he not know who Jeff is, if he is Jeff.
"Wait, you are Jeff!" Little Mac pointed at him.
"Huh? That's not my name."
"Quit lying."
"I'm not."
"You're one of those introverted things. You want me to go away, that's why you're lying to me."
"My name is Lloyd."
"Lloyd? You look so much like Jeff. Are you sure you're not Jeff?"
"I'm telling you the truth, please don't hurt me."
"Aww, dammit."
"Eep! I'm sorry."
"Hmm, well you look smart. Do you think you can help me out?"
"With what?"
"I need a hacker."
"Why?"
"Something terrible is happening at the mansion. I need to get into the item room, but there's a code."
"Oh, uh…"
"Can you please help me?"
"I'm scared."
"I'll protect you!"
"But… Isn't the item room off limits?"
"No…"
"I feel like you're the one lying now."
"Listen, kid. I really need your help. If you don't help me, the person I care for the most will die. I… She's done so much for me and… I just…" *Starts sobbing*
"..."
"I can't let her down. Please… Please help me. Please be my hero."
"Ok, I'll do it."
"Thank you, Lloyd. Thank you so much."
…
-The Cave-
This chapter is not pog. Unhinged asf. Feel free to skip this shit. Rated M.
The four prisoners couldn't wait to see Luigi. Ness had a good plan. For once, the other prisoners were on board. He wasn't sure if it was going to work, but now that he finally has the support of the others, things might not go so badly. In fact, he was confident that it'll work. Luigi is going to fall for the entire act, and well… Then Ness can think what to do next from there.
The prisoners heard footsteps. He heard Mario humming his theme song as usual. The prisoners silently cheered when they saw Luigi with Mario. They're going to do their thing, first Mario is either going to mess with them in some way, then he'll give them their can of cat food. After he hands them the food, that's when Mario leaves. Luigi is always alone with them making sure that they finish their food and he'll collect the cans. That's how it's always been for the longest time, but this time, the prisoners finally have a trick up their sleeve.
As the two Mario bros approached, the prisoners stiffened. Tonight is the night that they'll receive a small victory. Hopefully everything goes according to plan.
Mario: "Um, Hello, everyone."
Ness: (That's odd, he sounds… Nervous.)
Sonic: "There he is. Alright, what're we playing today? Nintendo Trivia? Compliment our God Mario?"
Kawasaki: "Yay, a game!"
Mario: "Actually… Uh.."
Kawasaki: "Ooooh, is it going to be fun?"
Mario: "It is! It's very fun."
Gordon: "Just for you, I assume."
Mario: "For everyone."
Kawasaki: "Yay!"
Mario: "Everyone except for Ness."
Ness: "Oh come on, why?"
Gordon: "He hates you."
Ness: "I know…"
Sonic: "Your definition of fun isn't exactly fun."
Mario: "Oh, it's going to be fun. Trust me."
Gordon: "Sure." *Rolls his eyes*
Mario: "In fact…" *Takes out a laptop* "Ness… I'm sorry in advance, but I need to share this shit."
Ness: "Is that my laptop?"
Mario: "Ya see, Clone Sonic found it and he said I shouldn't do this, but oh boy do I really want to."
Ness: "What're you talking about?"
Sonic: "Oh shit, dude he has your laptop."
Ness: "I mean, is it?"
Mario: "Ness, the laptop's username is your name."
Ness: "What! Why do you have my laptop? That's private."
Mario: "Ness… You know I don't care about your privacy."
Ness: "Wait, how did you get in?"
Mario: "Ness, your password is-a password."
Gordon: "Some genius."
Ness: "I thought it would be too obvious, so no one would ever think of choosing it."
Gordon: "This is your fourth fuck up. You're on a roll."
Sonic: "Wait, what was my clone doing with his laptop?"
Mario: "I actually don't know."
Sonic: "Freak."
Mario: "Well actually… You should say that about Ness."
Sonic: "What?"
Ness: "Yeah, what?"
Mario: "Ness, I know about your search history."
Ness: "Um, ok? So?"
Mario: "I know about the second browser."
Ness: "W-what second browser?" *Starts sweating*
Mario: "You know what I'm talking about."
Sonic: "A second browser?! Dude, I think I might already know where this is going."
Ness: "Where what is going? I-I have no idea what you guys are talking about."
Gordon: "No fucking way. This can't be real. We're talking about Ness right? The 'innocent' one?"
Ness: *Scoffs* "I never said I was."
Gordon: "You sure act like it."
Ness: "I have no idea what you guys are talking about."
Mario: "Don't worry, I'll gladly let you know."
Ness: "Y-you don't have to do that."
Mario: "Oh, but I do."
Ness: "No!"
Sonic: "Read it! I want to know!"
Ness: "Who's side are you on?!"
Sonic: "Your side of course, but also… I wanna know."
Gordon: "I also would like to know."
Kawasaki: "Guys, what're we talking about?"
Ness: "Nothing!"
Sonic: "Oh you know, we're exposing Mr. Goody Two Shoes over here."
Ness: "Mr. Goody Two Shoes?!"
Sonic: "Yeah you know, because you think you're so perfect and innocent."
Ness: "I never said I was perfect!"
Sonic: "You sure act like it."
Ness: "Dude!"
Kawasaki: "Guys, stop! Ness is a sweet angel."
Sonic: "Oh please."
Gordon: "Even I know that's not true. I mean look at him."
Kawasaki: "What? He seems innocent to me."
Mario: "Oh does he now?"
Ness: "Mario, stop!"
Mario: "Oh? Well now that just makes me want to expose you more."
Ness: "Expose me for what?!"
Mario: "Your search history of course."
Sonic: "Read it!"
Ness: "NO!"
Mario: "Alright, I'mma gonna list it."
Mario: "MILF Bayonetta I wanna fuck your things?"
Sonic: "Dude, what?"
Ness: "I never searched for that!"
Mario: "Japanese lesbian bath."
Gordon: "Makes sense. He is Japanese."
Mario: "Big booty ebony octoling."
Sonic: "Wow."
Ness: "This isn't my search history!"
Mario: "Threesome with Hentai Girls- Massive cum shot?"
Ness: "I didn't-
Mario: "Caught jerking off in smash training room POV?"
Mario: "Nymphomaniac assist trophy let's you have a turn?"
Mario: "What the fuck?!"
Kawasaki: "What?"
Mario: "Isabelle upskirt voyeur? Really, Ness? Really?"
Sonic: "Dude, Isabelle?!"
Ness: "What!"
Mario: "You looked up if she had an onlyfans?"
Ness: "No, I didn't!"
Mario: "Oh paid for it too! In fact, your subscription has ended. Oopsies."
Sonic: "Holy shit, I can't believe my ears."
Gordon: "Who's Isabelle?"
Sonic: "A dog."
Gordon: "A fucking dog?!"
Ness: "She's not a full on dog! She's an anthropomorphic dog."
Sonic: "So like me."
Kawasaki: "So wait, does this mean you are into Sonic?"
Ness: "NO!"
Sonic: "I dunno, man."
Ness: "I'm not!"
Mario: Clears throat
Sonic: "Sorry, please proceed."
Ness: "Or not."
Mario: "Wii Fit Trainer hot yoga."
Mario: "Sheik unmasked."
Sonic: "Ok, that one I can agree on."
Mario: "Let's-a turn items on this time? What?"
Ness: "Uh…"
Mario: "My perfect smash harem."
Mario: "Radiant Ike APRIL FOOLS SURPRISE ON LUCINA?"
Sonic: "Dude…"
Ness: I didn't-
Mario: "sEpHiRoTh ShOwS yOu HiS pOwEr?"
Mario: "Sephiroth?! W-why Sephiroth?! Wait, he does porn?"
Ness: "No I-
Gordon: "What the fuck is a Sephiroth?"
Kawasaki: "Yeah, I'm wondering too."
Mario: "It's just to keep each other warm- Ice Climbers trapped in icy cave animated?!"
Sonic: "Animated, huh?"
Ness: "Can we stop? I think we've heard enough."
Sonic: "No keep going."
Mario: "Step-sister Corrin footjob?"
Mario: "A… chuckles I'm-a sorry, hold on. A horny challenger approaches."
Mario: "Simon and Ritcher Tagteam Alucard?"
Sonic: "So remember when you said you weren't gay?"
Ness: "I'm not!"
Sonic: "Your search history disagrees."
Ness: "This could be anyone's laptop."
Mario turned the laptop around so everyone could see. He minimized the browser and showed everyone Ness's profile. It said his name and everything.
Gordon: "Welp, now we know it's legit."
Ness: "He could've changed it to my name."
Mario: "Ness, I don't even know what most of this shit is. What the fuck is a loli even?"
Ness: "Uh…"
Mario: "I don't even want to know. I'm moving on."
Mario: "Oh god… I don't even know if I should read this one."
Gordon: "What is it?"
Mario: "Princess Marth gets raped in his little boy pussy? I… I have no words."
Ness: "..."
Mario: "What's in Villager's pocket? - Animal Crossing New Leaf Porn Comic?"
Sonic: "Dude, what's up with you and Animal Crossing?"
Mario: "Oh, here's another one. Your little sister Isabelle wants to learn about sex."
Sonic: "So you are into incest."
Ness: "No I'm not! It was morbid curiosity."
Mario: "Ness, are you ok?"
Ness: "I'm fine."
Mario: "The list… It doesn't stop. You've been doing this everyday before I kidnapped you."
Ness: "I'm fine."
Mario: "If you need a curtain-
Ness: "No! I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Can we stop?"
Mario: "Hold on, one more."
Sonic: "Yes!"
Ness: "No!"
Mario: "Shadow's revenge on Sonic's… Aaaand I'm done."
Sonic: "WAIT, WHAT?!"
Ness: "Uh…"
Sonic: "Dude, I thought you said you weren't into me."
Ness: "I'm not!"
Sonic: "Then what the fuck?!"
Gordon: "Wow, ok I was not expecting all that."
Ness: "Why are we judging me? We all have intrusive thoughts. I'm sure your guys' collection is just as bad."
Gordon: "I'm sorry, did he say collection?"
Sonic: "Why didn't you just go in incognito mode?"
Ness: "You guys don't go back to it?"
Everyone: "You go back to it?"
Ness: "M-maybe."
Mario: "I just go on the front page and start from there."
Sonic: "Same, I never go back to it."
Ness: "Oh come on!"
Mario: "Yours is really bad."
Ness: "What about yours, huh?"
Mario: "Mine?"
Ness: "Yeah, I bet yours is worse than mine. That's why you're exposing me."
Mario: "Sure, let's go to mine."
Mario took out his phone and showed everyone the porn he watches. It was mainly blondes, latinas, and other vanilla shit.
Ness: "W-well… Um…"
Gordon: "I didn't think it would be this bad."
Sonic: "It kind of makes sense. He is a virgin who spends a lot of time alone."
Ness: "C-can we not!"
Mario: "I know, but still. I didn't expect all this. This is… this is really bad. I mean, even I thought he was innocent."
Sonic: "I always kinda knew he was like this."
Gordon: "He acted too grossed out when Sonic brought up anything sexual. Clearly we all know why now."
Sonic: "He pretended he was above it all. Turns out he's worse than all of us."
Kawasaki: "Guys, why are we being mean to Ness?"
Sonic: "Because he's a degenerate."
Ness: "No, I'm not!"
Sonic: "Dude…"
Mario: "Well, I just wanted to share my favorite pet's deepest darkest secrets. Anyway, who's hungry?"
Gordon: "My appetite is gone."
Sonic: "I can still eat."
Kawasaki: "Ooooh me too."
Mario: "Ness, what about you, are you hungry?"
Ness: "Leave me alone."
Mario: "That settles it. Luigi, go give each of them their food. Oh, and don't forget to give Ness a dog biscuit for being such a good boy."
Ness: "Fuck off…"
Luigi: "Yes, Mario."
Mario left, leaving Luigi with the rest of the chores. Luigi didn't mind. Luigi secretly liked that Ness was a freak. He didn't think he could fall more in love with him, but he just did. He thought about all the freaky shit Ness would do to him. No, he needs to burn these thoughts. It's wrong. Is it though? They're both adults. No, he shouldn't. In fact, he shouldn't have done that with the clone either. He and Daisy are planning on getting married. This is awful. He cheated on his Princess again, but this time he went all the way.
Sonic: "Hey, why are you staring at the floor? I'm hungry."
Luigi: "Oh, sorry my bad."
Luigi handed each of them their can of cat food. When he went over to Ness, he put the cat food down in front of him. The poor guy was covering his face the entire time. Luigi felt sorry for him, but also he enjoyed seeing Ness all flustered. Dammit, he's doing it again.
Luigi violently shook his head to get rid of the toxic thoughts.
Luigi: "Um, Mario wanted me to give you this dog biscuit."
Ness: "Go… Away…"
Luigi: "But Mario-
Ness: "Luigi, not now."
Luigi: "Y-yes, Daddy."
Everyone fell silent. They all stared at Luigi and blinked a couple times. Ness lifted his head up and stared at Luigi with a shocked expression.
Ness: "What did you just call me?"
