Vaggie started standing up, yelling, "YOU BI- "
Alastor's claws held her hand firmly. It cut her off, kept her from standing straight. As everyone's attention turned to her, she saw out of the corner of her eye Alastor's bloody smile shifted slightly.
"Please, Bubble-Buns, control your Angel," Lilith asked dismissively though she still looked amused.
"Vaggie…!" Charlie pleaded with no other words. That combined with Alastor's reaction got her to sit back down, fuming in place. Then Charlie gasped. "Alastor! You're bleeding!"
"Worry not, Charlie," he said with a chuckle. "I simply bit my lip!"
"Baby Doll, you need to settle down. We have business to attend to that you're interrupting."
Charlie's face twisted, obviously catching the lie for what it was. Instead of drawing any more attention to it, Charlie settled down.
Lilith smirked. "Good girl."
Vaggie seethed . Forget the flat side of her spear. The sharp edge was the better one. The second they were alone…!
"Back to the point," Lilith restarted whatever they were talking about. "Surely you don't think that you young ones have any right to question the Head of Hell?"
"Do not condescend to us!" one of the older ones snapped. "We have a far better grasp of the intricacies of this issue than-"
WHAPUUM!
Black lightning dropped from the ceiling. The Ars Goetia that had yelled at Lilith had enough time to open her beak before being reduced to ash.
"Oops," Lilith said. "Looks like she had an accident. Remind me to send flowers to Paimon."
"That was not one of my siblings. Thankfully," Stolas replied, side-eyeing the pile of ash.
"Oh good. That will save me the florist bill."
"Apple, you can't smite people like that," Lucifer insisted. "We have a process for a reason ."
Lilith's gaze shifted to Lucifer, obvious even behind her sunglasses. "You would tolerate such disrespect to me?"
Lucifer stuttered, "I mean, no but-"
"Then I see no issue." Lilith blew a breath out, creating a soft breeze through the room. It easily blew the pile of ash away. She settled back in Lucifer's chair and said, "Go on, continue your incessant prattling."
The energy of the Ars Goetia crowd lessened. Andrealphus asked, angry, "I take that as your mind was made up before we even started? As in you wasted our time?"
"You have that wrong, birdie. You wasted my time," Lilith corrected.
Charlie's gaze hadn't left Alastor. Her eyes shifted to Vaggie, silently pleading for an explanation. Vaggie glared at Lilith for a moment. For the first time, Charlie seemed unsure of her mom. Her uncertain glance gave Vaggie some hope that they might break through to her.
"That means we can have this decided now," Stolas noted happily. It was likely because the tone of the hearing was obviously in Alastor's favour. "Please, make your ruling before my fa-erm, Lord Paimon, arrives. There's no need to waste his time as well."
"Oh? Paimon was going to make an appearance?" Vaggie didn't like the look on Lilith's face. "It has been far too long since we've had a discussion. Please, bid him entry so we may discuss the situation."
"W-well, he isn't here yet," Andrealphus stuttered. "He was expecting a different time for the trial."
"How amusing! You think this is a trial." Lilith laughed, a delicate thing.
" Apple …!" Lucifer clearly wanted to protest more but seemed unwilling to do anything.
"We shall wait for Paimon to arrive," Lilith announced.
"So, are things adjourned for now?" Charlie dared to ask.
"Yes! Let's go ahead and relax! And talk!" Lucifer agreed.
The feel of the room shifted. All the Ars Goetia were talking amongst themselves, the others glaring at Stolas. Charlie rushed from her seat over to Vaggie and Alastor.
"What happened?" Charlie asked quietly, her hands drawing towards Alastor's face.
Alastor's gaze flitted behind her for a moment before he let her touch the bleeding holes. "As I said, my butterfly, I simply bit my lip!"
"Ah yes. I've heard of how clumsy the Radio Demon can be," Lilith purred behind Charlie.
Charlie jumped and flipped around. "Mom! There are some people I want you to meet."
"I already know about you dating an Angel, Child," Lilith said. "I listened to some of your voicemails."
"Ohmygoshyoulistenedtomyvoicemails," Charlie whispered, eyes sparkling. She shook her head. "I haven't left any recently! Which means you don't know!" Charlie shifted so she was standing between Alastor and Vaggie. "They're my partners!"
"In the hotel. Yes, I know." Lilith's smile was smug.
"Yes, but no. I mean dating ! They're my life partners! We're engaged !" Charlie showed off her ring, not holding out the black ring.
Lilith grabbed her hand and pulled it towards her. Her focus was on the black ring. She stared hard as if she could see it. After a few moments of taking Charlie by complete surprise, Lilith let go.
"I see." Vaggie wished she could see behind the sunglasses. She wasn't sure which of them Lilith was looking at. A quirk of a smile was followed by, "Congratulations. I'm sure you'll be together for the rest of your lives. Not that you have a choice."
"Thank you!" Alastor replied with his own real grin. That made Lilith frown. Instead of saying anything, she turned around and began speaking to a fawning Lucifer that had been trying to get her attention the whole time they were talking. As she walked away, Alastor took both of their hands. "It was very fortunate that there wasn't more."
"More? How could it be more fortunate? My mom was happy!" Charlie exclaimed.
"Char, I think you're not understanding it right." Vaggie decided to get straight to the point. " Your mom is making Alastor smile. Your mom used the golden strings to force it. That's why he's bleeding, not because of him biting his lip."
Charlie turned to Alastor. "Is it true?"
Alastor kept the same fake smile on his face, not saying anything.
Charlie's excitement deflated. She asked, lost, "Are you sure?"
" I saw her do it ."
Brow furrowing, Charlie started, "I-"
The Voice of Hell boomed, "May I direct your attention to the back of the room! Entering now is Lord Paimon, King of the Ars Goetia!"
That signalled everyone to sit down. Even Lilith sat back in Lucifer's throne. Charlie was the straggler, watching her loved ones for a few extra seconds before taking her seat.
From the rear entrance entered an Imp and who Vaggie assumed to be Paimon. He wore all sorts of regalia and his eyes matched Alastor's extra eyes. The Imp was doing his best to corral the Ars Goetia into the provided ivory chair. It wasn't working; instead, he was scanning the table, looking each of them over.
His gaze settled on Andrealphus. He stormed over and growled, "Sinner! How dare you abuse our magic?! The fact that a creature such as yourself exists as the Head of Hell is a besmirching all its own! I-"
"Sire, that is not the Sinner. That is Andrealphus, Son of Terinama," the Imp dared to interrupt.
As Alastor genuinely chuckled and whispered to Vaggie 'interesting turn of events!', Paimon said, "No it isn't! My eyes do not deceive me; this creature is the weakest thing in here!"
"Sire, use your other eyes."
Paimon sniffed. "And see the world through common eyes?! I refuse!"
"Paimon, it's been such a long time!" Lilith interrupted. "It seems you haven't changed."
The Ars Goetia snapped to attention, looking between all of the royal family. It seemed he didn't know who to turn to. He replied, looking at no one in particular, "Ah! If it isn't the songstress Lady Lilith herself! How can I forget a voice that beautiful?"
"You flatter me!" Lilith leaned back. "You may continue."
"A gorgeous face! Captivating eyes! The most-"
"I think she meant continue with the hearing," Lucifer said, staring Paimon down.
"I did not," Lilith clarified, "but I suppose business is business. Paimon, do you know what this hearing is about?"
"Some Sinner has used our magic. OUR magic! There must be punishment!" Again, Paimon pointed at Andrealphus.
"Dearest Lord Paimon!" Andrealphus cried. "It was not me who abused our magic and rituals! It was him!" He pointed across the table at Alastor. " That's the Sinner who did it!"
Paimon glanced at Alastor and laughed. "Do you honestly believe I wouldn't recognise one of my own sons? Preposterous!" He looked back at Andrealphus and stared him down. Suddenly Andrealphus managed a panicked look on his face before he was again turned to stone. Paimon said, "There! Problem solved. You can all thank me later."
Vaggie's jaw had dropped. How could he mistake Alastor for one of his children ?
Lilith sat, laughing behind a hand. Charlie looked confused while Lucifer said, "Uhm, Lord Paimon? That's not your kid. That's the Sinner." Lucifer pointed at Alastor.
Paimon didn't follow his hand, instead turning to Alastor on his own. "Truly?"
"Truly!" Alastor decided to answer in amusement.
"Hm." Paimon was obviously confused. "I suppose…" He looked at the other Ars Goetia. "How did he come to be like he is?"
"He abused one of our rituals to transform himself!"
Paimon was silent for a moment before asking, "Which ritual?"
Stolas said a hobnob of letters that Vaggie somehow understood as meaning 'The Regenerative Matrix of the Stars and Moon'. Then, to everyone's surprise, Paimon laughed.
"This is quite the joke, Lady Lilith!" He chuckled several times, shaking his head. "Goodness!"
"What makes you say that?" Lucifer asked.
"Why, only the strongest of us Ars Goetia can even survive that ritual, let alone something below us!" Paimon explained. "I made that for my late concubine, Rainah! She barely survived an assassination attempt." He sighed. "She did not survive it."
Lucifer's eyebrows shot for the ceiling. "Wait. So it's an insta-death for anyone with a weak aura?"
"Indeed! The idea of a Sinner surviving it is preposterous! Clearly there was something special in the Sinner, or those that provided the blood for the ritual's start."
Vaggie and Charlie looked between themselves and Alastor. She caught the hidden surprise on his face that was swiftly covered by another fake smile.
Lucifer, too, looked at them. "Uh-huh." He sighed. "It was likely my daughter."
Paimon blinked. "Why would Lady Charlotte help a Sinner like that?"
"Because they're betrothed," Lucifer said, eye twitching, "in a wedding I fully support ." An obvious fake smile was followed by, "Anything to make my little girl happy."
Vaggie felt it. This was The Moment. To prove to Alastor how much they loved him. She looked at Charlie who met her gaze and nodded. She felt it too. As always, Vaggie had the ring in her pocket.
The two of them moved so they were both in front of Alastor to the side of the table. Before anyone could interrupt, Charlie started, "Alastor, over the last year and a half, you've become more than a friend. You're our love, our betrothed. We can't imagine life without you anymore."
Vaggie smiled gently as she said, "We know you already proposed and we accepted. That wasn't a good proposal. You deserve better. Which is why we're asking…"
Charlie and Vaggie got down on their knees as Vaggie produced the ring from her pocket. It was made of Angelic metals, graced with Angelic and Demonic power from both Charlie and Emily to give it that blasphemy edge that he liked so much, shaped like a series of musical notes and a vaguely radio-shaped stone of painite. Charlie had thought of the stone and Vaggie agreed that he'd love it.
They both asked at the same time, "Alastor, will you marry us?"
He was absolutely floored . They hadn't expected this much of a reaction. He looked uncertain to them, like he'd never expected this in all his life and death. Hesitantly he reached out. Vaggie took his hand while Charlie slipped the ring on. They then dared to kiss him on both sides of the cheek, being careful not to kiss the holes or blood.
The only one to clap was Stolas. Everyone else simply stared until the two women took their seats. Alastor said nothing and didn't react beyond what they could pick out themselves. Him offering his hand and the surprise was enough for them to know
Paimon's eyes were wide in realisation. Slowly, he asked, "So this Sinner not only managed to survive one of my most deadly rituals and transform into an Ars Goetia, a high-tier Ars Goetia with a powerful aura, but he's engaged to the Princess of Hell and is the Head of Hell?"
"Yes," Lilith answered as if she knew what was going to happen next.
"I see." Paimon turned to Alastor and said, "Welcome to the family!"
Everyone except Lilith and Paimon baulked. The Ars Goetia stuttered in a group excluding Stolas, "My Lord, how can you think of adopting that thing ?"
"You punish one of us in favour of a Sinner ?"
"How could you allow the tainting of our magic and ritual?"
"Surely you can't-"
" SILENCE ! " Paimon barked, his power sparking all around him in a dark cloud. It cowed all of the Ars Goetia. He shouted in an echoing voice, " My decisions are immutable. How dare you question me?! This boy ," he walked over and settled a hand on Alastor's head. Alastor's ear and eye both started twitching, "is mine! He is no Sinner; Sinners cannot live through my magic! If he managed to survive and transform, then he is an Ars Goetia!"
All the Ars Goetia bowed and murmured, "Yes, our King. It is understood."
" Excellent ." Paimon's power settled down. Then he bowed to the thrones. "My apologies, my lieges. I must keep my subjects in line."
"No offence taken," Lilith chuckled. "It was a breath of fresh air in this dusty hearing."
"Good." Paimon turned to leave. "Now that that's settled, we must prepare for the hatching ceremony for my new son!"
"A what now?" Alastor asked, his upset only caught by Charlie and Vaggie. Vaggie wasn't sure if the complaint was the 'hatching' part of the 'new son' part.
"Hold on now!" Lucifer's power flashed through the room, catching everyone by surprise. Lilith looked at him like he was an annoying child. "This hearing isn't about Alastor and his daddy issues. This is about whether he keeps his status as the Head of Hell!"
"I retroactively grant him permission to use our magicks and rituals. There! All done!" Paimon dusted his hands like he just did a lot of work.
"Let us take a vote then," Lilith suggested to Charlie and Lucifer.
"Fine." Lucifer was pouting now as he tapped his hat against his knee.
"I'll start!" Charlie exclaimed. She cleared her throat and started singing,
Lords and Ladies of all different types
Alastor deserves to live out his whole life
For if he is forced in the gallows to choke
He and his loved ones will surely croak
Charlie took a breath in only for Lilith to start singing.
Sugar, you're cute, I know that you try
But this verse is waiting for death, it will die
Please quiet your mouth and sit for a spell
While we all decide what to do
with the Head of Hell
The wind cut from her sails, Charlie settled down and mumbled, "Anyway, Alastor should keep his Head of Hell status."
"Was that so hard?" Lilith tsked. "You must know when to break into verse, Child."
A quiet snort told Vaggie that Alastor, too, was holding in his disgust with how Lilith treated Charlie.
"For my part, I think he should at least have his status as the Head of Hell revoked!" Lucifer pronounced. "Retroactively allowing it is more asking forgiveness than permission, and we can't have that for anyone in power. It leads to abuse."
"Abuse? In Hell? Surely you jest!" Alastor quipped. Vaggie couldn't stop herself from elbowing him in the side.
Lucifer's eyes narrowed. "See what I mean?! So my vote is revocation of his status as Head of Hell and imprisonment in the Pit for no less than 10 years!"
Lilith seemed to enjoy taking her time thinking about her verdict. Finally, she said, glaring at Charlie and Lucifer, "I vote he keep the status. At least someone is doing something with it!"
" Apple …!" Lucifer looked helpless as she stood from the throne.
"I thank Your Graces for your fair judgement." Paimon bowed to each in turn: Charlie, Lucifer, then Lilith.
"Sire, Lucifer is in the seat on the right," his Imp assistant told him.
Paimon peered closely at the two. "Are you certain?"
"Indubitably, Sire."
Paimon again bowed, this time in the correct order. He then swept his cape as he turned to go. "My less capable underlings, it is time to leave!" He scooted Stolas over towards Alastor and Vaggie. "Go on and get to know your new brother, won't you?"
Stolas looked confused but still replied, "Absolutely, Father."
Paimon said nothing else as he led the troupe of Ars Goetia out the door.
"Now that that is over, it is time I return to my work," Lilith said, stretching out.
"Apple, surely you'd want to talk -"
"Mom! I need to talk with y-"
" Please figure things out yourselves." Lilith rubbed her head. "I have my own things to take care of." She waved her hand, a portal appearing next to her. "What, do you think that I have spent this entire time sunbathing in Heaven or something to that tune?"
"Whaaaat? Psh!" Charlie giggled nervously, "I mean, how would you even get into Heaven?"
"Precisely, my little marshmallow," Lilith said, tapping a finger on Charlie's nose. "Now that business is concluded, I shall see you all at some other point. Or not. I am hoping for not."
"WAIT!" Lucifer shouted, trying to grab a wrist. It was too late. She slipped through the closing portal. He mumbled, "I just want to talk …"
"It's okay, Dad. She'll come around," Charlie murmured, giving Lucifer a hug. Lucifer didn't reciprocate, instead staring off into where Lilith had vanished to.
"Now, let's celebrate!" Alastor announced, making Charlie jump and clutch her chest.
"Ohmygosh, Alastor! You scared me!" Charlie exclaimed. Again, Lucifer acted as if he couldn't hear or see anything save for Lilith and her exit. She let go of Lucifer and tackle-hugged him. "We did it! WE DID IT!"
"I don't know how, but yeah, we did it," Vaggie said.
Charlie drew her into the hug. "Yes! Yes! Alastor! You're free! And we're all engaged! Still!"
"Not only those, but I'm also able to exercise my power as Head of Hell as much as I please!" he noted with a chuckle.
Lucifer turned and glared at him, the comment having snapped him out of his fugue state. "I don't know what Lilith was thinking. I guess you got your win. Congratulations."
"I am most pleased, not simply from this victory and the engagement but for the fact that you publicly announced your acceptance of the wedding!" Alastor gave Lucifer a victory grin.
Lucifer turned red. "Oh great. Yeah, I did do that. What else could happen?" He then paused and thought aloud, "Wait, did that portal lead to our bedroom?"
"Probably," Vaggie stated.
"We don't know if it was her!" Charlie instantly said.
"Well kids, it was nice hanging out gotta catch your mom BYE!" Lucifer formed a portal and jumped through it practically at the same time. Vaggie heard 'APPLE!' before the portal closed.
"That will absolutely not lead to anything terrible!" Alastor said in his own version of sarcasm.
"Of course it won't!" Charlie decided not to catch the sarcasm.
"Uhm, pardon me." The three of them turned to Stolas who was standing there awkwardly. "I don't suppose I could join you for the celebrations?"
"Sure! The more the merrier! OH!" Charlie excitedly chattered, "We need to throw a party! With cake! And trust exercises!"
"I will leave that up to you, dears." Alastor was obviously drained. Who wouldn't be? All the pressure was on him. He was probably emotionally drained, too; it wasn't every day two people proposed to you during a hearing about you in front of three of the highest authorities in Hell.
"We don't have to have it right now ," Vaggie commented. "Let's save it for when we're all up to it."
"In that case, I offer my palace as a place of relaxation and quiet celebration," Stolas offered. "After my ex-wife's assassination attempts, no one has dared to try again."
"Will the Imp and Hellhound be there?" Alastor asked. "And what of your other daughter?"
"They could go elsewhere for a short while," Stolas noted.
"HA! Oh no, I wish to chat with them!" Alastor said. "I want to hear about the effect of my ruling. Who else would know better than those it affects?"
"Very well." Stolas left, the throuple trailing behind them.
Vaggie knew better than to leave it at that. There would be different questions later, hopefully with more answers. For now, she would leave things be.
Now that everyone was gone, the guards and servants began breaking the table and chairs down. One young one knocked a knuckle on Andrealphus and asked, "Where do we put this guy?"
"Eh. Lord Paimon would probably like him in his garden. He's always keen to reflect on his victims," one answered.
"Or we could ship him back to his family. What was his name?" another asked.
"Whoever he was, he's in the way. Put him in storage until we figure out what to do with him," Alfred told them.
Several Imps complied, picking Andrealphus up and dragging him out the door. They accidentally bumped his face into the doorway, chipping his beak even more. None of them noticed.
