"Welp, this is bad."
The words caught Charlie's attention. Vaggie had gone out to check out the news like she normally did. She liked walking around like that sometimes, appreciating the effects of the hope brought by the hotel. Sometimes she bought newspapers. Today was one of those days.
Charlie and Alastor had been discussing the hair decorations for the bridesmaids after Vaggie ran out. He didn't want them to be too flashy lest they overwhelm Vaggie's more understated fashion. It was a trio wedding, after all, and all three of them should be allowed to shine. Charlie figured out rather fast that it was less that than wanting to dictate something that wouldn't really affect him.
They had just decided that some kind of flower, like baby's breath, would work better when Vaggie came in.
Vaggie walked in like she hadn't rushed out and handed Charlie a newspaper. Charlie didn't understand until she saw the headline and the multitude of pictures.
'Alastor Loses Control! What Kind of Threat Could He Be to Your Family?'
'Lame-Ass Alastor Loses to Princess in Poofy Ballgown'
'Trapped! Experts Weigh In on Whatever Loser Caught Alastor in a Deal'
'Gay Moments! Look At Alastor Cry!'
'Looks Like Alastor is 'armless!'
Each article was accompanied with a picture from the day before. The entire newspaper from the Vee's network was full of various barbs and slights against Alastor with a few smaller ones at Charlie. Vaggie was pretty much ignored.
Charlie looked up at Alastor who had been reading over her shoulder. His smile was definitely enraged, with an eye twitching. Suddenly he stopped and got up.
"Pardon me, ladies, but I have business I must tend to."
"What ' business' ? Don't tell me, let me guess: you're going to go try to eat Vox?" Vaggie guessed.
"Something like that, yes," Alastor admitted as he adjusted the bandages under his suit.
"You can't!" Charlie protested. "You're hurt!"
"Vox is pathetic . I can take him with an arm-" He paused, looking at the stump of his arm. An ear twitched as he growled, clenching his remaining hand. "Vox must pay ."
"I agree. But blindly charging in and getting your ass kicked by the Vees isn't the approach to take," Vaggie said.
"What about…" Charlie was trying to think of something that wasn't violent. "Corporate espionage?"
"What, like they tried with Pentious?" Vaggie asked. "Who in the world would we send in?"
She had a point. The closest thing they had was Tom Trench and Charlie was certain that it would retraumatize him to have to go back there. What could they do…?
Then Alastor had a devious look on his face that definitely spelled doom for the Vees. "My dear Charlie…" he started lightly. "...when do you suppose you could transfer some of that power to myself and Vaggie?"
Alastor, Charlie, and Vaggie sat at one end of a long table at the third-party location, Alastor at the head. At the other end was Vox; they'd requested all three of the Vees. Likely their attempt at a power move, to only send Vox. On the table in front of them was a set of maps and paperwork.
Charlie agreed with Vaggie: Alastor's plotting was doom for the three Overlords. It would've been better for them to have all three if just to see the looks on all their faces. It would still be some petty vengeance for Anthony. It'd cost an exorbitant amount to buy out that stupid contract. It hadn't even been a week before Valentino had a new 'star'.
Alastor sat, calm and in control as they all waited for someone to say something. Finally, Vox broke the silence.
"Why the fuck did you need this meeting? Don't tell me, let me guess: Alastor was gonna come and kick my ass but realize he'd be fighting with only one arm?" Charlie tried not to gasp at the eerily good guess, sounding almost exactly like Vaggie did the day before. Rolling his wrist, Vox asked, "What kind of shit did your pansy-ass come up with, Radio Demon ? Should I break into song so you'll cry some more?"
"Oh, nothing of the sort, chum ," Alastor replied. "I'm simply assuming some of my darling Charlie's duties to lighten her load. She has so much on her shoulders; it's the least I can do as her groom!"
"There's the clit-licking." Vox leaned against the table. "Why not put the collar and leash on like you did yesterday?" He snapped his fingers. "Oh wait, THAT'S RIGHT! Someone ELSE collared your ass!"
Alastor's expression didn't change. It was clear he was in control. It was thrilling, being on this end of an Alastor plan.
Vox frowned as Alastor neither countered him nor got upset. He finally repeated his question, "Why the hell am I here?"
"Glad you asked!" Alastor immediately started in on a lot of technical jargon. Charlie only understood some of it. She'd had to when she was the person in charge of the zoning committee.
It was a good ten minutes of Alastor rambling that saw Vox snap. He yelled, "Okay, what does all that shit mean? Summarize it for me! I'm a busy man!"
Charlie expected it but still had a shiver go down her spine as Alastor gave him a shit-eating grin. He answered, "Due to the overpopulation in Hell which is still a problem even with my darlings' efforts, we're enacting emergency powers." His eyes narrowed in glee. "We're rezoning your district."
Vox stared. "What?"
"I shall rephrase: we're going to turn your little tower into a series of little condos!" Charlie couldn't help the evil little grin at the statement.
Vox apparently realized what that meant. "What the- How could you- YOU BASTARD!" He slammed his fists into the table, cracking the wooden top. "You can't do that! We have permits!"
"Ah yes. Your 'permits'." Alastor slid a sheaf of papers at Vox. "Firstly, we are using emergency powers. Your permits don't matter . Second…" Somehow his smile grew bigger. "Your permits are expired."
"EXPIRED?!" Vox snatched up the papers and rifled through them. He came to the relevant pages and began rubbing his head as he read. Muttering to himself, Charlie could pick out 'suing our lawyers' and 'five years!?'. Finally Vox snarled and slammed his fist into the table, creating a third crack. "You think you can get away with this!? Fucker, I'll see you in court!"
Now Alastor was enjoying himself too much. "As you wish!" He paused for a second before turning to Vaggie. "Supreme Magistrate, what say you on this issue?"
Vaggie smirked as she answered, "The Vees are fucked."
Vox's mouth opened and closed several times before he squeaked, "What."
"My wonderful Vaggie was named the Head of the Courts by our lovely partner!"
"Basically all major judgments go through her," Charlie explained. "She can pick and choose her cases and rule on them whenever she wants."
Vox's eyes were down to being singular pixels. " what ?"
"And it's the rule of the court that the building be re-zoned per the Zoning Committee's decision," Vaggie said smugly.
"You…" It was clear that Vox was searching for an insult but was too flabbergasted to think of anything. Finally he shouted, "Aw, FUCK THIS!" and vanished into the boardroom conference phone with several sparks, his hands giving one-finger salutes as he did so.
"See you on demolition day!" Alastor called out. They waited a minute to make sure that Vox wasn't coming back before the three of them stood.
"Gotta admit, that was really satisfying," Vaggie said as she stretched.
"Wasn't it?" Alastor twirled his cane as Charlie gathered all the paperwork. It was then that Charlie realized that Vox had taken the paperwork with him. Before she could say anything, Alastor noted, "He only took a copy. The originals are safe."
"Okay." Charlie shoved everything into the bag she'd brought along. Hoisting it over her shoulder, she asked, "What did you guys want to do now?"
"It would be absolutely delightful if we could all go on a lunch date together! And perhaps a dinner date after wandering about?" Alastor suggested.
"Ohhhh, a day on the town!" Charlie's eyes sparkled.
"Are you sure you're up for it?" Vaggie asked with obvious concern.
"I - we - must keep up appearances! Being seen out together is a good way to do so!"
Charlie's excitement quieted. She'd been hoping-
She paused her thought as he settled a hand on Vaggie's head and a tentacle on her own head.
"And, of course, it would be a good way for the three of us to spend time with each other." It was as close to mushy as Alastor would probably ever get.
A wide smile broke through Charlie's hesitancy as Vaggie grinned, eye focused clearly on Alastor.
