Lovestruck Down
[The scene opens with a shot of Daria and Jane walking through town side by side]
Daria: So, find the pink and red appealing yet?
Jane: I dunno, perhaps if it says on for longer than a month, I might get a kick out of it.
Daria: Don't you know, as soon as one holiday's over, that color goes out of style.
Jane: Well, unless you're Halloween and you keep getting pushed earlier and earlier.
Daria: At the rate we're going, orange and black will be in season by May.
Jane: Or better yet, the 12 days of Christmas'll become the 12 months and we'll see green and red all year-'round.
Daria: I can't imagine that going wrong in any sense.
Jane: Makes as much sense seeing Easter decorations in February.
Daria: Valentines and St. Patrick's are crying in their sleep.
Jane: You would know, I'm sure.
Daria: I would, and I'd prefer not to be reminded of it.
[As the two wait at the crosswalk, they glance over at the others walking up and down the street; Thomas and Scat Cat are swinging a pair of small cymbals on their fingers, giving a "ding" as they make contact, Alice and Wendy are walking out from a shop with two chocolate hearts in hand, Pepe comes out of a flower shop with a large basket of roses and hands them out to passersby each; one to Hunter, Pearl, Madoka, Lance, Pinkie, Nikki, Grimhilde, and Eddy, and as Bagheera is standing in front of another shop, Baloo sneaks behind him and catches the panther off-guard with a smooch behind his cheek. It cuts back to Daria and Jane as they continue to observe]
Daria: Couples, am I right?
Jane: Yeah…
[The crosswalk light shows white and the girls begin to cross to the other side, passing by Priscilla, Penelope, Derpy, Doctor Whooves, Antoine, and Tails walking in the opposite direction. It then cuts to the two stepping into the local pizza shop and then cuts to them passing by the other patrons; Leon, Cruella, Cinderella, Marian, Yogi, Boo Boo, Kaltag, Star, Daphne, Fred, Icy, Stormy, Darcy, Katz, Le Quack, Rufus, Reggie, Penelope Pitstop, and Vinyl. It then cuts to whole pepperoni pizza in the middle of the table, the shot panning out to reveal both have taken a slice]
Jane: You know, if there's one thing that'll never let you down in life, it's pizza.
Daria: It's a wonder how a creation of bread, cheese, and tomato sauce is more reliable than most people care to admit.
Jane: Believe it or not, this is how I imagined my first date going.
Daria: Really? I thought your first date would be listening to Trent's band.
Jane: You really think I would be that cruel?
Daria: As cruel as teasing my previous affections right in front of him.
Jane: Eh, ya' got me there…I'll admit, you two wouldn't have looked the worst together.
Daria: Perhaps, but when then reality came in and bit me in the ass.
Jane: Ironic, the two men you pined for all began with "T", maybe three-
Daria: Two, it was two.
Jane: Well, one of them you technically stole from me.
Daria: Oh, we're back to this, are we?
Jane: I'll be fair, Tom did kiss you first, but then you kissed back.
Daria: All for a relationship that didn't work out in hindsight, let alone started off on a lie…
[Daria takes a slice]
Jane: …Oh…well, never mind about that, I've moved on from it. Plus, he wasn't all that worth it in reality…in fact, I'm starting to notice that I generally have horrible luck with guys.
Daria: Guess that's something both of us suck at.
Jane: No, see, you let down guys, I happen to pick either a guy who sucks or…actually no, I just pick guys who suck.
Daria: And girls who suck.
Jane: Allison and I weren't a thing to begin with, she came on and then just said "hey, think I can score some points with you?" Goddamn creep.
[Jane takes a slice]
Daria: I wouldn't say I'm entirely concerned, being single's become more commonplace these days, since people are realizing relationships aren't an obligation to please normality.
Jane: Well, unless you count the people who opt to choose a relationship despite knowing that it's gonna suck and they reap what they sow.
Daria: Poor unfortunate souls, those people.
[As Daria takes a sip of her drink, it quick-cuts to the ocean where Ursula's eyes open abruptly with a twitch before it cuts back to the restaurant]
Jane: Though I guess there's some assurance we're not the only two with sucky relationships.
Daria: I'm assuming you're referring to Quinn.
Jane: Oh no, I was referring to Saint Mary, who else?
Daria: Well, her relationships are hardly relationships to begin with, she'd skirt around a bunch of different guys until someone new catches her eye.
Jane: And yet, she's not had anyone particularly crappy to deal with, prolly cuz she breaks their hearts before they can get to her.
Daria: In a way, she's kind of a genius, in the loosest sense possible.
Jane: Well, that time she tried to pass off as a brain is enough proof of that.
Daria: Although, it's kind of a surprise to me how she's not really been in the game as of late.
Jane: "In the game?"
Daria: You know, taking hearts and throwing them away.
Jane: Awwww, your little sister's becoming mature.
Daria: We should throw a party in her honor.
Jane: True, I'll get a cake that reads "Congratulations, you achieved an extra IQ point."
Daria: I'd go with something a little bit simpler; "Eh, you tried".
Jane: Simple, gets the point across, I like it.
Daria: You always say the sweetest things, don't you?
Jane: Well, it's one of the reasons you like me, isn't it?
Daria: True.
[As if on cue, Quinn steps into the restaurant, wearing an outfit different to her useful pink shirt with jeans. Instead, she dons a red shirt with a heart pin while wearing white pants]
Daria: And here I was thinking Christmas had passed.
Jane: Oh, and she's coming this way…great…
Quinn: Daria, there you are!
Daria: I'm right here, there's no need to shout.
Quinn: Tell me, what do you think of this look, too pretty or too practical?
Daria: You're asking me of all people to critique one of your new fashion designs?
Quinn: I was thinking I could use a "sister's opinion", you know.
Daria: Alright, what crazy scheme have you come up with this time?
Quinn: It's not a scheme, Daria, I'm just asking if this look is too artificial for the group I'm meeting later.
Daria: Why not ask one of your fashion foopas?
Quinn: Because you're, for lack of better words, honest.
Daria: Strange, most of the time I'm honest, you treat it like I punched a hole in your teddy bear.
Quinn: Daria…
Daria: [sighs] Fine, it's something different, you do different more often than I do, so in that case, A for effort, I guess.
Quinn: Thanks, was that so hard?
Daria: No, I just like making things hard for myself.
Jane: Not even gonna ask the actual artist for her input?
Quinn: Oh, Jane, I didn't see you there.
Jane: I sat here the whole time, but okay.
Quinn: Would you say these colors bring out that kind of warm, welcoming air?
Jane: Red and white's used for a lot of things, and I suppose a lot of them are good things. So there you have it.
Quinn: Thanks, by the way, I'm feeling a bit peckish so could one of you move over?
Daria: Um-
Quinn: Oh, you're too kind.
[Quinn moves next to Daria and picks up a slice of pizza]
Quinn: Oh my god, this is such a relief.
Jane: Okay, just gonna take the food we paid for.
Quinn: You know, I don't remember the last time I sat with you guys like this.
Daria: That's because you never sit with us like this.
Quinn: True, you know, it's weird, I'm so used to trying to impress cuz I'm like popular and stuff, but like, sometimes I feel I don't do enough for my appearance.
Daria: Really, then explain all the makeup in your bedroom.
Quinn: I mean it like, I feel like I need to reach out more, be more of a true fashion icon, show I can fit into any color.
Jane: Weird, it's almost like you knew what we were talking about before.
Quinn: Plus, it feels…weird, actually.
Daria: You just noticed that?
Quinn: I mean, like, you remember that phase I had of trying to hook up with a bunch of different guys, but it was really me enjoying the attention?
Daria: It was your character for most of the-
Quinn: Well, recently, I've not been doing a lot of that…and like, given the season, I should probably be doing that in full swing, but instead I'm dressing like this because…well, I felt like it, plus, it's nice to be around other girls for a change…well, other other girls you could say.
Jane: Let me guess, girls that aren't up your pretty little alley?
Quinn: In a way, yeah, and actually…I feel kinda good about it.
Daria: Congratulations, you learned that dates aren't what they're cracked up to be.
Quinn: Really? Isn't that what you and Jane are doing?
[Daria almost chokes on her slice of pizza while Jane nearly spits out her drink]
Daria: Excuse me?
Quinn: Isn't this the one place you two always come to, at any hours of the day, hmm?
Jane: [clears throat] I wouldn't exactly call it a date, not unless someone sticks a Cupid arrow up my ass.
Quinn: Well, regardless, I think it's kinda cute really.
Daria: And I think you're a little bit off.
Quinn: Am I, Daria, am I really?
Daria: …Yes.
[Daria casually takes a bite of her current slice and looks away. It cuts to the trio exiting the restaurant]
Quinn: Well, I'd better be off, kiss-kiss, you two.
[Quinn does a cheeky heart symbol and walks off]
Daria: And there goes the candy cane.
Jane: You know, now that I think about it, we do spend a lot of time here.
Daria: Oh no.
Jane: And I was the one person you could actually share a normal conversation with.
Daria: Jane.
Jane: And that's not even getting to that rare smile that I've seen reserved only for-
Daria: [covers the side of her face] Swipe me a rose then, why don't you?
Jane: I could, but it's more fun to be a tease.
Daria: Besides, I thought I'd be the one positing-oops.
Jane: Huh?
Daria: Nothing.
Jane: Said the girl whose face turned a light shade of red.
Daria: Because it's cold out…or something.
Jane: [raises her brows] …Daria?
Daria: It's not important…spare me please?
Jane: [tilts her head] Awww, because you said please, perhaps I will.
Daria: Thanks…
[The two begin to walk down the street once more before Jane speaks again]
Jane: Hey, Daria?
Daria: Yeah?
Jane: …Happy Valentine's Day.
Daria: Hmm…
[Daria looks away with a slight blush…but then she smiles]
Character Guide:
Daria Morgendorffer, Jane Lane, Quinn Morgendorffer, Trent Lane, Tom Sloane - Daria
Alice - Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Antoine D'Coolette, Tails - Sonic the Hedgehog
Bagheera, Baloo - The Jungle Book (1967)
Cinderella - Cinderella (1950)
Cruella De Vil - 101 Dalmatians (1961)
Daphne Blake, Fred Jones - Scooby Doo
Eddy - Ed, Edd N' Eddy
Hunter - Road Rovers
Icy, Stormy, Darcy - Winx Club
Kaltag, Nikki, Star - Balto (1995)
Katz, Le Quack - Courage the Cowardly Dog
Lance - All Dogs Go To Heaven (1989)
Leon Powalski - Star Fox
Madoka Kaname - Madoka Magica
Maid Marian - Robin Hood (1973)
Pearl - Steven Universe
Penelope Pitstop - Wacky Races/The Perils of Penelope Pitstop
Pepe Le Pew - Looney Tunes
Pinkie Pie, Derpy Hooves, Doctor Whooves, Vinyl Scratch - My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Priscilla and Penelope Pinkpaws - Angelina Ballerina (2002)
Rufus, Reggie - Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart
Thomas O'Malley, Scat Cat - The Aristocats (1970)
Ursula - The Little Mermaid (1989)
Wendy Darling - Peter Pan (1953)
Yogi Bear, Boo Boo Bear - The Yogi Bear Show
