Cat: Naruto X Kunosuba X Dog Days X Redo of a Healer X Kuroinu

Title: The Most Powerful Summon; Toad Sage Uzumaki Naruto

Rating: M

Pairing: Naruto X Yunyun/Fem Kurama/?/?/?, Kazuma X Megumin/Darkness

Summary: The war ended in Kaguya's victory. Naruto and Kasumi were left in a void of darkness to await their future, be it paradise or hell. At least that was going to be their plan. At least until A Goddess named Eris came and gave him another chance to live a normal life. The only catch... Beat the Devil King and stop the Black Dog Mercenary Company. So, nothing new to Uzumaki Naruto.

Hey everyone. Currently in the process of moving and I have little I can do at the moment. So, here's something to nibble on. Hope you guys enjoy it. Also, I've started a few different projects for books I'm hoping to publish, here's hoping one of them sticks to my brain.

Also, I won't be writing the lemons, so much as hinting at them.

"I never back down!" Speech

"That's my Nindo!" Thought/Flashback/Letter

"Rasengan!" attack/Demon form/Divine Form speech.

"Damnit!" Demon form/ Divine form thought.

I don't own any of the above mentioned.

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Chapter 0: New World, Same Old Problems

Honestly if someone had told Uzumaki Naruto that he would die and become a ball of yellow energy he would have laughed. Yet here he was a floating orb of Energy that had been sitting in darkness for... if he had to guess it was about a week. Not that he was complaining all that time for meditation told him a lot. For one he felt no chakra, but a LOT of powerful beings were around. They could give Granny Rabbit a run for her money. Considering that she had thrown him into this void as a last-ditch effort to stop him from beating her alongside the rest of team 7 who ended up only log knows where then it would be safe to say that either they were in their own dimensions or dead. But considering 7 was a lucky number he had hope that his friends were okay.

Unknown to Naruto his friends were scattered in a place with Wands, a place with Heros, and a place with Endless oceans.

He should have honestly been more upset/shocked they didn't beat Kaguya, but they were mortals, and she was technically an Alian Goddess, Creator of the Shinju Mother to the Sage of Six Paths, and direct ancestor to The Hyuga, Uzumaki, Uchiha, and Senju clans. It was a miracle that Naruto managed to even punch her in the face.

An orb slammed into Naruto spinning him around he looked at the... Orb of red with nine swirling lines and it was glaring at him.

"Naru-kun! I'm bored!" yelled the orb.

"Nothing I can do about it Kasumi-chan," said Naruto.

"I need something to do! Without my magnificent body I'm not capable of doing anything fun like make a Tsunami or level a mountain with a swipe of my tails," said Kasumi rather childishly.

Oh that's right. This feminine-sounding orb was the Former Kyubi no Kitsune. Kurama or as she wanted to be called Kasumi. While the Buuji were genderless they did have a preference or at least some of them did. Kasumi preferred to be addressed as a female.

"Then it's a good thing I'm here for you both now," said a voice that made both of them look as a young woman appeared before them.

She was probably around the same age as Naruto 16 or 17 and was no taller than Sakura was so maybe 5'3'long silvery hair with a violet tint to it that went down to her ankles and pulled into two long ponytails, two long bangs that reached down to her shoulders and an ahoge sprouting from her fringe., purple eyes that just radiated kindness if you looked at them. Naruto had seen some beautiful women in his life Terumi Mei, Senju Tsunade and he would even include his own mother Uzumaki Kushinsa but this woman was on a different level of beauty so much so she had to be devine in nature. a delicate and beautiful face with a hint of melancholy to it. She seemed to have some type of genjutsu over her left cheek, but it wasn't anything that Naruto could do about it at the moment, a purple coif on her head that matched the shade of her purple eyes, as well as a matching white and purple one-piece hagoromo dress with yellow trimmings which goes slightly passed her knees, purple shoes and white stockings, as well as a necklace with a pink diamond-shaped jewel in its center.

"Welcome to the Parallel World reincarnation station. I'm Goddess Eris and I'm currently filling in for my senior Goddess Aqua as she is... indisposed at the moment," said Eris.

"Okay, so what happens next? Do we get sent to the underworld, Paradise, or do we just hang around for all eternity as playthings?" asked Naruto.

If it was the latter then Naruto was going to fight like hell, even if he was an orb thing.

"Heavens no! Nothing of the sort. All lives are measured and weighed righteous deeds weighed against evil intent. The way of the Cosmos is that all life force must be recycled. Many souls have deserved to wade the darkness of Gehenna, but we try to avoid sending as many there as possible, but when the balance of the scale is tipped to far into that sphere, we have no choice. Yours is a case that the scale was tipped well into paradise, but those that oversee the scales have chosen to give you another chance at life, however, it comes at a cost," said Eris looking at the floor.

"What cost?" asked Kasumi

Eris opened her palm and created a floating mirror that showed all kinds of things. Flames, monsters, Humans tall and short, some with pointed ears, some sporting masses of hair while being as short as kids but looking like they were in their 30s or 40s. A tall dark figure hovered above 8 shadows as they overlooked the lands.

"The world of Konosuba has been plagued by the Ruthless Devil King who has put terror into the blessed races. the Ruthless Black Dog Mercenary Company which believes that all women are nothing but playthings for men, and various monsters that roam the world in search of power. So powerful are these forces of evil that the very fabric of Heaven is threatened if the Kingdom of Belzerg and the seven Great Madian's should fall. For the last 500 years, we Gods and Goddesses have had to send heroes who have died, down to Konosuba to try and quill this monster, but so far, all attempts have proven futile," said Eris with a sad look on her face.

"Why not just go down and use your divine powers to smite these evils?" asked Kasumi.

"It is not so simple as that. Even we divine beings are not 100 percent benevolent as that. Hades, Yami, and other Evil Gods have tied our hands. There are also certain rules in place. As gods and goddesses, we normally can't interfere on the mortal plane and when we do it is in a greatly demised capacity. For instance, I am allowed to go to Kunosuba as a wish I granted to a rather lonely child several years back, but when I do go down my abilities and vast magic are suppressed to the point where I barely feel my divinity," said the goddess.

"So evil big bad needs an ass kicking and you gods can't do squat for reasons that are bullshit. Sounds like a Job for an Uzumaki," said Naruto.

"As much as you like to think so I'm afraid that there are some caveats that come with this. You see currently you have no physical body, and I am in the house of granting this to you both and can't understand the language of this world. Lucky for you both these are pretty standard when it comes to reincarnation. Focus on your original forms and I will do my best to help you along the way by reconstructing your bodies," said Eris as she raised her hand and pointed it at the two orbs before their body began to reshape and reform.

First was Naruto. Naruto returned to his regular form, but with a few small changes. He still stood at 5'10 with his athletic build that made it to where every muscle of his body was something to use as a weapon and not for show. His package was... Eris Blushed and tried not to think about the number of women who would be made VERY happy by that legendary weapon, his once spiky blond hair was now spiky red, since Eris... played with his DNA a bit and made his Uzumaki traits more powerful considering his clan was technically God-kin. His eyes remained retained their purple-blue while his Overall facial structure was a perfect blend of both Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Minato. Oh, and Eris left his trademark whiskers since they were cute.

Next was Kasumi and when her body formed... Eris tried her best NOT to curse the woman. She was everything Eris wanted to be. She didn't reach past 5'5, but she was curious with large Breasts D-cup that dwarfed Eris's own A Cup busom- were she not currently padded up to C- a large thicc behind and thighs that could make Chung-li jealous. Golden eyes with a tint of red to them, and red-orange hair that reached the middle of her back. She was also sporting 9 fox-like tails. She too had whisker-like marks on her face, although not as cute as Naruto's if you were to Ask Eris.

The duo examined themselves for a moment. Kasumi was running her hands along her body.

"Not bad. I say that I could put that Anko woman to shame," said Kasumi before she looked over at Naruto and eyed him hungrily. "Maybe I can take this body for a test drive in a carnal way,"

"What do you mean?" asked Naruto with a bit of a knowing look.

"I know what sex is. I watched your mother and Mito have sex with their significant other a few times. Your mom was a... how did the word go freak by the way," said the 9-tailed woman.

"Naruto raised a brow at this. "How was my mom a freak?" asked Naruto.

Kasumi sighed and put a hand on her cheek. "Minato wasn't the first guy Kushina slept with. He was just her soulmate. I think it was probably four or five guys who found out the carpet matched the drapes. Hell, your dad wasn't innocent either. With Jiraya as his sensei he got his fair share of princess pussy before he married Kushina and by princess, I mean Tsunade and her little sidekick both. Kushina liked getting down and wild when it came to the bedroom once she discovered what sex was. You can think of your Godmother for that by the way. Kushina, Hitomi- that's that little shy Hyuga's mum by the way- and Mikoto were into swapping husbands for some pretty crazy nights. I remember one-time Kushina was taking it from Fugaku while Hitomi and Mikoto liked her and Minato was pounding Hitomi while Haishi or was it Hizashi was pounding Mikoto. Come to think of it if I had a human form at the time I would have made a clone and joined the action,"

"The part about my parents is gross. Tsunade is pretty sexy. And I only ever saw pictures of Sasuke and Hinata's mom's so I know you're not lying. I always wondered where I got my Rolling Stones genes from, guess it runs in the family. I mean Shion and Koyuki were both great," said Naruto.

"I know, the fact that Koyugi got pregent during the filming of the Icha-Icha Paradise Rainbow Mountian shot had Jiraya weeping,"

"Not my fault he wrote the damn script to Quote Hero impregnates Heroine during the night before the big battle end Quote. How was I supposed to know that Koyubi meant literally?" asked Naruto.

"That mating press and the fact that she yelled she wasn't going to take a pill and for you to dump that stupid big load in her cunt," said Kasumi with a smirk.

"But what about her Handma-," started Naruto

"ENOUGH!" yelled Eris red as a brick wall. She was too innocent for this type of talk.

Puffing out her cheeks Eris quickly created some clothes less her mind keep slipping further into the depraved talk that these two were in. Naruto wore a black sleeveless shirt, a red hori was black flames and the Kanji for Sage on the back, orange pants, and black sandals. For some reason Naruto also gained a length of tape wrapped around his right arm up to his elbow, and his Konoha Headband. Kasumi was given a black, side-tie battle Kimono dress with short sleeves, white trim, and a light-colored phoenix pattern on the skirt, that left her thighs completely exposed, complete with black stockings, low-heeled sandals, black & gold leg guards, and arm guards.

"As is tradition we are supposed to gift you with an ability or weapon of your choosing. However, I cannot grant her any abilities since something is blocking me from doing so," said Eris after allowing herself to calm down a bit, even if her ears were still red.

Kasumi shrugged and flexed her steel nail-like claws. "Like I need anything from you pitiful gods. I have knowledge that could be considered lost arts to the Elemental Nations, not to mention I'm a Buuji I have plenty of natural fighting ability in my blood,"

"Very well. I will instead give both blessings to Naruto," said Eris clasping her hands together.

Naruto rubbed his chin in thought. He reached his hand out and created his Sage staff. So, he had access to his Shinobi abilities and chakra. That was a boon if he ever had one. He'd have to train his Super Sage mode since his battle with Kaguya was sper of the moment and insitive ability to use didn't hold a candle to hours of training. Aside from his abilities, he had no real desires or needs but with two blessings then he might as well take advantage of it.

"I'd like you to give me access to my mother's Ability to use Chakra chains and I'd like my father's ability to use the Flying Thunder God technique. If I'm going to live in a new world I'm going to honor them,"

Eris looked at him and shrugged. She didn't see an issue with that. She walked over to Naruto reached up on her tippy toes and gently planted a kiss on his cheek.

"With this, I grant thy the blessing of Eris, Goddess of Fortune, Loyalty, and Family. Go with my blessing and turn away the Evils Of Kunosuba," said Eris.

A portal opened up behind Naruto and Kusumi before they vanished.

"I hope Axel is ready for them...," said Eris as she went to file the paperwork.

Location: Kingdom of Belzerg

Place: Outside the gates of Axel

Time: Late evening.

Naruto and Kasumi landed right outside of a large walled-off City. The sign above the Town read Axel However the wording was strange and had little logic to their minds. The magic of the gods was at work, but it would take some getting used to. Naruto and Kasumi looked around and noticed that the air was peaceful and an undercurrent of danger. Most people probably assumed that the city was peaceful, but that was probably a falsehood.

"This place feels wrong," said Naruto.

Kasumi nodded. "I agree. It smells like death is hiding inside. Also, I smell a large amount of greed and lust. Probably pretty easy to get trapped here if you're not paying attention to the way things work or are unlucky,"

The red-haired young man put his hands on his head. "So, what do we do now? It's not like Eris gave us a road map on how to defeat the Devil King and the Black Dog Mercenaries,"

"Another new pair to this world I see. You're lucky I was in the area and returning from a quest, especially when you have such a beautiful companion to attend to young lad," came a voice that was quite irritatingly smug.

The Duo a handsome young man with light brown hair, dark eyes, and a fit physique. He wears over a black mesh a full set of plate armor with slimming blue color and gold gilded borders, as well as a wing motif on the chest area. Over his shoulder was a massive sword. Overall, he gave off a pretty boy vibe. Not like Sasuke's Dark and cool Personality, but more like he was trying extra hard to be something everyone wanted. Also, young lad? Naruto was sure they were the same age if he wasn't older A pair of girls stood behind him and judging by the way they stood around and dressed they were probably his groupies... AKA one rung above a useless fangirl. At least Groupies got laid.

"Who are you?" asked Naruto.

"My name is Mitsurugi. Kyoya Mitsarugi and these are my companions Fio and Creame. We are the top-ranked advantage party in Belzerg's Adventuring Guild being S-Ranked," said the now-named Mitsurugi.

"Right. I'm Naruto Uzumaki Naruto and this is my long-term companion and friend Otsuki Kasumi. We just arrived like... 3 seconds ago," said Naruto.

"So if your adventures what do you recommend?" asked Kasumi as she noticed Mitsarugi to eyeing the lust he was radiating was disgusting to say the least. If it was Naruto she wouldn't have a problem.

"Most of you summoned types become Adventurers while others go on to create their own smaller villages and towns. About 200 years ago the Eastern Federation was founded by the Seven Otaku Lords," said the Green haired woman who was flatter than Sakura on a bad day.

"Yeah if Lord Mitsurugi recommends it then you should become an adventurer," said the pink-haired girl with breasts that were parted like the valley of the end with no change of ever touching again.

"Sure, take us to the Guild then," said Naruto.

As the Strongest adventurer lead Naruto and Kasumi away, they marveled at the town it was as large as Konoha before the Akatsuki Pein Invasion. There seemed to be several industries in the town that were thriving. Blacksmiths, weavers, potion brewers' food stalls, and other such things. As the duo were taking it in. Mitsurugi was talking on and on and fucking ON about himself. From the various dungeons, he cleared to the number of demons and devils he killed. All the while Fio and Creama hung on every word as if they hadn't been there with him.

Kasumi growled as her chakra began to rise because she was one second away from destroying him outright, only for Naruto to stop her.

"... And then as I raised gram. Oh we're here," said Mitsurugi as he snapped out of his story.

The duo looked at the building and noticed that it was close to the center of the town. It seemed a cross between a bar and the mission office from Konoha, but it wasn't nearly as large as the Hokage Tower. From the nosie inside it seemed to be a pretty rowdy place.

"We'll as much as I'd like to stick around, we have to return to the Capital," said Mitsurugi.

"Why would you need to return to the Capital?" asked Naruto.

"The Devil King's army has been attacking the Capital and all high-ranking Adventurers from B rank and Up are duty-bound to go to the front lines and destroy the armies. Of course the King is Currently in talks with a few mercenary bands as well as the Discordia Queendom of Dark Elves," said Mitsurugi.

Naruto frowned. That seemed rather stupid. If the army was advancing in waves or divisions then sending in the highest ranking adventurers was a problem since if the strongest fighters were fatigued or even outright defeated then those of lower rank wouldn't stand a chance without solid leadership or strategy, but if Mitsurugi was the 'strongest' and wasn't fatigued then the demons couldn't be all that strong since Naruto estimated him to only be a Chunin maybe Jonin in strength at most. Also hiring Mercenaries was something of a bad idea. Sure, Naruto and by design, all adventurers were technically mercenaries, but he had principles, and he was probably the exception to the rule. But he hadn't grown up during the war like his father, Tsunade-baa, Kakashi-sensei, and others. It made him weird, but he had inherited a propahcy and the dream of his master and sibling disciples.

"Well it was nice meeting you Mitsarugi-san," said Naruto sticking out his hand.

Mitsurugi ignored it and walked to Kasumi grabbed her hand and smiled. "If you ever need me milady or wish to join my party just say so," said the man with a smile and sparkling teeth.

Both Naruto and Kasumi's eyes twitched at the 'playboy' attitude. Only Kasumi wasn't willing to play nice grasping the man's arms she shifted her weight and threw him to the entrance of Axel with his two floozies running after him yelling his name.

"Lord Mitsarugi!" yelled his Groupies as they chased after him.

"Nice throw. That got some distance," said Naruto.

"Thanks. Pretty boys like him and Emos arnt my style," said Kasumi dusting her hands.

"Uchihas?" asked Naruto.

"Exactly," said Kasumi jumping on Naruto's back and pressing her breasts to his back, making sure that Naruto could feel them.

"Lets get in the Guild and get registered," said Naruto.

"HAI!" giggled Kasumi.

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And cut. I hope you guys enjoyed this. See you soon.