Megara lay with Harmonia in the bed where she'd made her and wept into a pillow while the child drank her fill of milk. Why had she allowed herself to become so pathetic? Hercules hadn't seemed disgusted with her, but she wasn't the girl who'd impressed him with her spunk and intelligence anymore. She was softer, weaker, and prone to flee rather than stand her ground.
She ought to have known something like this would happen. Ever since she was a teenager, there had been men who preyed on her. Why should it be any different now when she was literally a softer target? Why had she even bothered coming out here? She had traded solitude and confinement for this bevy of eyes who cast judgment and scorn with every glance.
The only anchor to her sanity was the steady kneading and suckling of the baby. Harmonia needed her. At least for now, she was enough for the little girl. She only wished she could be what the baby would need as she grew. How could she exemplify all the qualities she would need to survive when she'd become so weak?
"I'm sorry." Hercules's weight sank into the bed behind her, and he slung an arm over her and the baby. "I should've known he'd do something like that or kept him away from you…" He nuzzled into the back of her neck and kissed her cheek. "Did he hurt you?" His hand trailed down her arm, where Achilles had gripped her.
She flinched. There'd be bruises there soon.
Hercules hissed. "I'm sorry, love," he whispered and pressed his forehead against her shoulder. "I never had any clue he'd be like that from when I met him… But maybe it's only because I was a kid, or maybe because I'm a guy, and he didn't think of taking advantage…"
Megara shrugged. "I've had worse."
His arms were tighter now. "Meg, you're in here crying over it. I don't care how bad things have been in the past. We're dealing with this right now. Tell me. Was it worse than I thought? Did he…?"
"No. He was pretty typical for a man."
That comment drew a growl from Hercules. "You're my wife. If I could break that cycle all across the world, I would, but at least with you, I should be able to protect you from that…" He shook his head against her shoulder blade. "I'm so sorry… You're with me, and I can't even protect you…"
"You did." Megara intended to look at him over her shoulder, but with Harmonia weighing her down and his face buried against her back, it was impossible. Instead, she lay between them. "Herc, if I'd been less stubborn, I would've called you instead of trying to handle it all myself. I thought I could make this go away the way I used to, but I'm not who I used to be."
"What do you mean?" Hercules propped himself on his elbow to hover over her.
"I mean…" The way he watched her made the words shrink to nothing in her throat.
"I know you've changed since she was born," Hercules said, evidently trying to piece together the words she couldn't speak. "You're tired, and you've been hurt, but you're getting better…" His eyes darted from her face to Harmonia. "You're a sweet and attentive mother, by the way. I'm always so impressed with how much you care for her when your own mother was never…" His eyes were misting over. "You're so kind and gentle and thoughtful…"
"You're describing yourself." Megara reached up and scratched Hercules's jawline. "Wonder Boy, you've been patient with me, and I have nothing to offer you."
"Nothing?" Hercules raised a brow at her.
"I mean…" She pulled the himation over herself a little more, though she couldn't help Harmonia's need to expose some of her flesh. "That whole scandal with Achilles made me think of how mismatched we are."
"Mismatched?" Hercules repeated, and she thought he looked paler. He'd stopped exuding his aura quite so much, so he looked more like the demigod she'd met him as.
"It's not you. I've lost the things that made me worthy of you. People have to notice that I'm not beautiful anymore–"
"Hold on." Hercules squeezed her thigh to make her focus. "Who told you you weren't beautiful?"
"Nobody had to. Everyone out there was looking at me and thinking–"
Hercules leaned over her and scrutinized her. "When did you learn to read minds?"
"It's not like they were trying to hide it. They had such a clear disdain for me, I couldn't bear to remain out there."
"Meg. Not a single person out there or in here thinks that way about you except yourself. Is that why you won't let me touch you? That's why you hide yourself from me? Because you think you're not beautiful?"
"You have no idea, Herc. I can't bear to let you see what I look like now. I'm all stretched out and used up. I was proud to show myself to you before, and now I'd be mortified to disappoint you. I kept thinking I'd get better, but there's no end in sight." She squeezed her eyes shut, but it was not enough to stop the tears that flowed from her.
Hercules lowered himself over her to wrap his arms around both her and Harmonia. He pressed a long, gentle kiss to her cheek, then whispered, "Nobody would look at you and call you ugly, Meg."
"Yeah, you'd kill them."
That got him chuckling but didn't distract from the point: "It's because that wouldn't be true. People respect you, Meg. You're lovely, but even more than that, you're regal and wise. It rolls off you like an aura. People keep their distance and avert their eyes because you're so much grander than anyone else they know."
"I'm sure they'd say that to you."
"Nobody says it directly to me, but as a god, I hear things. You're used to getting attention from guys like Achilles, crass jerks who have no sense of boundaries. Well, right now, our social circle limits your interaction with people like that. People who are worthy of standing in your presence would never think to dishonor you, but I could convince them to share their adoration of you. I wish you could understand how beautiful you are to me, but I'll keep saying it until you believe me."
"You're too good to me," Megara said. "You don't have to pretend there haven't been massive changes."
"Of course, there have been! Look at the sweet little demigoddess I made you carry." He stroked Harmonia's hair. "She's a big, healthy girl, and you carried her for months. If anyone dares to shame you for being her mother, I'll smite them. But you know…" He closed his eyes, cleared his throat, and evidently forced himself to focus. "I've always loved curves. And you know what else? The only thing keeping my hands off you is knowing you don't want me to touch you. I'd gladly explore every inch of you and make you enjoy being in this new body if only you'd let me."
She aimed her most skeptical expression at him, but he remained undaunted.
"I mean it," he told her. His hand on her thigh traveled upward.
A year ago, this would have thrilled her, but now she felt panic rise. His disappointment was fast approaching. He might even set her aside so that he could fulfill his needs elsewhere.
"Meg…?" Hercules's voice broke. "Are you afraid of me now?"
"No!" she gasped.
Harmonia popped her mouth free and started to fuss.
Though Megara soothed the girl, she knew this would not end the conversation. She shifted Harmonia to her other side and tried to get her latched again. The process was so engrossing that she forgot to keep herself covered. She felt Hercules's eyes on her and looked up to find him staring at her uncovered chest.
"I can't believe how long it's been since I could see you…" he murmured. "There've been glances, but…" Hercules's eyes watered again. "Meg, I can't look away…"
It would be cruel to force him to. "You can touch if you—"
Hercules didn't wait to hear if she had stipulations. He cupped her in one hand and let out a shaky breath. The touch of his skin against hers, so long absent, made her gasp.
Harmonia pulled away with a belch, and she rolled to one side.
Megara turned in her direction, watching that little face for a hint it would scrunch up in rage or upset over her stomach.
It didn't seem that either of those would be the case. Harmonia's belly was swollen with milk, and her face was composed of pure blissful serenity.
"How long do you think we have?" Hercules asked.
"I'm not sure. It could be an hour, or it could be fifteen minutes."
"Then we'll have to be quick, won't we?"
"Quick? To do what?" Megara knew exactly what he meant on one level. Yet, that didn't make acknowledging it any easier.
"I have to prove something to you, and it won't be easier if we wait. We have to make this right, and it's got to start now." Hercules looked off the side of the bed, and Harmonia's cradle appeared. He scooped her into his arms and kissed her brow. Then, with his knees planted at either side of Megara's hips, he eased Harmonia into her cradle.
His weight and heat were familiar, something that drew Megara back to the days she'd happily given of herself rather than withholding. She would have been giddy on a day like that, ready and open. It would've been her idea.
Once Harmonia was snugly ensconced in her cradle, Hercules took both her hands and kissed them. Then he raised them over her head and pinned them by the wrists to the pillows. He surveyed her body and sighed. "You're about to learn how much I've missed you. Whatever you've been telling yourself, it ends now."
