Two and half Years Earlier

His back had been turned and he didn't hear her enter the room. "El. We need to talk." He moved quickly to try and hide the letter he had been writing but Kathy was faster and she grabbed it. He watched her cross the room to the couch as she read a couple of words he just started writing. He sat as the anxiety crept up on him and his leg began bouncing unknowingly. The heavy trauma placed on his shoulders ever since that unfaithful day in the precinct came with something he hadn't experienced since he was a boy. A constant state of fear. Walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting anyone.

"This is actually what I wanted to talk to you about. SHE is what I wanted to talk about. When you got that job I thought we would be able to start new. It was when we first got settled here that I understood. When I started at the hospital I was assigned this resident. A mentor. He was a year ahead of me in residency so he was in his second year. The more we worked together the more I felt myself learning who I was again. The dream I had back in high school. I learned that accidents happen and while I'll never regret our family it started as an accident. You and I were never going to make it past the halls of the school as a couple if I didn't get pregnant." Kathy looked at the man she called Husband since before she could legally drink. The years have worn on him more than her. The tears welled in her eyes as all the sacrifices he's made since that day the pregnancy test said positive came to her.

"He is my Olivia. I started to understand the want to stay at work when I didn't need to. I learned I was so miserably wrong. When you told me what happened after the shooting I used it to try and force something that was never there. You met the love of your life in 1998 and no matter how far I dragged you away from New York you never were gonna truly leave her behind because she is a part of you and I am so sorry I never noticed how bad you were struggling until recently. So this is what we're going to do. We're going home. You're going to work on getting better and getting out of this damn chair. You're going to heal and then we're going home, back to New York. Before that though me and you are going to work learning us a friends. I love you and you deserve better. WE deserve better. Let's work on being better." The tears were streaming freely down both faces and two ocean-blue eyes looked back at each other.

He processed everything he just heard and he stood to walk toward her and pull her into a hug. "Thank you, Kathy."

"Thank you, Elliot."


Two Years Earlier

"You wanted to be an Architect." He looked up from where he stood in their still joint apartment kitchen with a frown. "What?" He's improved significantly in the past six months. Some of his mobility coming back, allowing him longer time on his feet. He decided to take on a hobby of cooking.

He had been stirring his homemade sauce when she said it.

"On our first date, you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a surgeon and you wanted to be an Architect. I found out I was pregnant on our six-month anniversary and our lives were never the same. It may be late in my life to finally begin my career but I've always worked to achieve my dream even if it were on and off. You gave your dream the moment you told your father about Maureen. You followed in his footsteps because you had a family freshly out of high school and you had to provide."

She was flipping through a family album when she came across her first picture of her pregnant belly. Sixteen years old with a big smile and protruding belly shown by her tight tank top. She sighed heavily at the memory of that time before opening up a conversation she had helped in for decades. "I lied. Back then. When we first found out about Maureen; that night when you went home I talked to my mother and we made an appointment. I was going to have an abortion.

After agreeing to a divorce both Kathy and Elliot began therapy together was opened up to the things they never spoke about. It brought them closer than they've ever been before. So one day as in therapy when Elliot revealed he struggled with what he truly deserved. Kathy had been thinking ever since. He didn't like to think too hard on the what-ifs.

So after a couple of beats, he looked up directly at her. "You were top of our class in high school. No matter how hard or how long it took you were going get that dream come true."

"And you deserve your dream come true. The one with Olivia. Danny's father was just diagnosed with cancer and shockingly enough his parents also live in New York. Those two scared sixteen-year-olds are going to get the life they always dreamed of."


Today

Olivia has been silently fuming for the past week. She lied to her boyfriend and herself about how she truly felt. Her heart throbbed when she remembered the look on his face after she told him she never wanted to see him again. Her heart throbbed but her anger never stopped boiling. He still abandoned her. Like everyone else. He respected her wishes. She hasn't; seen or heard from him since besides the Peonies he had sent the next day as an apology.

Her finger clicked her pen as she thought of her boyfriend's suspicious behavior this past week. Constantly asking her about Elliot, thinking he was hiding how often he questioned her about her ex-partner. Her finger came to a halt when a knock came on her office door. The door opened and in came her number two. "Hey, Fin what's up?" He didn't answer but he had a look on his face. "Spit it out Fin."

"Kathy Stabler is here to see you." The shock was evident in both senior officers but she swallowed it down and stood from her desk. Taking a deep breath she spoke, "Send her in."

"Olivia Benson. Long time no see. Wow. You look amazing Lieutenant. Congratulations by the way." Growing up with an alcoholic abusive mother Olivia learned not to let things surprise her. Not to let people surprise her but this past week has damn near torn all she learned to shreds.

"Kathy Stabler. Long time no see indeed. Thank you. Please sit." Both women sat and Kathy beamed across the desk, a look Olivia had never seen on her before. "Actually it's Kathy Jones."

Kathy let out a little chuckle at the face that crossed this other woman's face. "I know. It's been almost two years and it still surprises me to this day." Discreetly glancing around the woman's desk Kathy's eyes landed on portrait. Three people. Olivia, a cute little boy, and the son of a bitch who almost broke her best friend. "Cute kid. Good pregnancy? I hope your husband treated you well."

This time it was Olivia who chuckled. "He's adopted and he's not my husband." At that reveal, Kathy did a little fist pump inside at how easier this got. She rose from the chair and walked toward the interrogation mirror. "That's a relief honestly. It's going to make this so much easier." Olivia's feelings hadn't fully caught up to her brain but after Kathy spoke it was nothing but anger she felt. She angrily rose from the chair and rounded her desk. "Excuse me? How dare you?"

Kathy tilted her head at the woman and smiled sadly. "Olivia just listen. Five years ago Elliot came home from work. It was way earlier than he had ever been home." Kathy slowly made her way toward the couch with each word.

"The kids were at my parent's house for the weekend and when he walked through that door he had a look in his eyes I had never seen. When I asked what happened he sat me down and told me there was an incident at work. Didn't go much into detail but told me that it caused a new change of direction in his career with the NYPD. He had a week to move to be settled in Italy for a mild undercover operation. Well, it was supposed to be mild." Olivia looked at the woman and her anger from earlier disputed but she could still feel a heart thumping in her chest with adrenalin. "After he left I spent six months preparing the kids for the move. The kids decided to come with us and by the time we got settled in it had been a year and one day there was a knock on the door."

Olivia had only been in the presence of Kathy a handful of times and although she never grew to know Kathy she was a decorated detective. Lieutenant now. Kathy kept biting her lip and looking back at the picture on her desk. "Kathy. Whatever it is you have to say. Say it." Her voice had gone a little hoarse but only small enough that Kathy didn't notice.

"Ed Tucker was at our door. It was one of Elliot's rare days off. Elliot brought him to our seating room. It's a thing in Europe. Anyway, I decided to follow because honestly, the look on Elliot's face sent me back that day. Elliot tried. God, he tried so hard but Ed Tucker knew. Knew how to get to him. He threatened us. You know that we wouldn't get his pension and then he threatened your pension too. He forced Elliot to pack a bag and leave with him. We didn't see Elliot again for a year and the next time I did, it was in a hospital room." Kathy had been able to control her tears but one slipped.

"I had never met Ed Tucker before. That day was the first time I met him and that day he finally got to what he wished." Olivia felt the air in the room thicken as Kathy tried to manage to sudden amount of moisture in her mouth. Olivia tried but she couldn't help but ask. "What was his 'wish' Kathy?"

Kathy gave her a dreadful look. "He finally took the last piece of Elliot's sanity."