A/N: Chapter 68 of REKT. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or teams of RWBY, they belong to Rooster Teeth and Monty Oum. What I do own are the characters and teams of my OCs: REKT, GTSY, KACE and DAZE. I also claim Ingrid, Teo, Reina's parents and aunt as well.
Special thanks to the reviewers and to the readers who Fav/Alert this story, I really appreciate it.
Chapter 68: A talk with a friend
On the road...
Team RNJR plodded along the dusty road, attempting to keep moral high and positive. It's been hard on Ruby and Jaune, both of them having been plagued by the unwanted nightmares. However, they kept it silent, bottled up on the inside. Nora kept up her cheery demeanor with Ren admonishing her in the way he always has been, but they both knew that their leaders were not entirely healed. The last time they encountered this problem, Jaune had said some pretty upsetting words because he lost sight of himself, and he promised that he'll try to do his best to improve.
Count to ten Ruby, forwards and backwards. The young girl mentally told herself, trying to get her brain to exercise and think of something other than what happened at Beacon. It was something Ren offered her the night before, stating that once the mind becomes engaged within a single task, it is important to stay focused. Should the mind lose focus, it'll count as a loss and she'll have to start all over again from the beginning.
"Try doing this exercise for awhile. Think of it as a game of sorts. If you get three losses, then do the exercise over again." The male had said. Ruby mulled over the thought, before nodding her head in agreement.
Keep your breathing regulated. One...Two...Three...Four... Ruby inhaled and exhaled as she kept count, making sure to pay attention to her objection. Her nostrils flared out briefly as she allowed the air to flow through. Five...Six...Seven...Eight...
"I see that Ruby is taking Ren's words to heart." Jaune whispered to his other two teammates as he watches the silver-eyed huntress out the corner of his peripherals. "...what is it that she's doing, exactly?"
"It's a mental game that will help her maintain her focus and stimulate her mind." Nora replies, folding her arms behind the back of her head. "And before you ask how I know, Ren had me go through that kind of exercise whenever I get out of hand. It helps me bring myself together. Definitely keeps me grounded, but you all know me! I'll be back to being my energetic self! No one can hold back this thunder!"
"Not that anyone would want to hold back your thunder." Ren jousted her in a teasing manner. He got a raspberry blown in return, and his lips curled up into a smile. "What? I'm not kidding."
"I know you aren't but still. It sounds so rude when spoken out loud!" Nora dramatically acted, feigning hurt. "But of course...I'll forgive you since you're Ren!"
"I-I...I'm sorry guys, but can we take a rest? I don't feel well...and my mind wondered even more than usual." Ruby's voice caught their attention as the young huntress asked them, scuffing her boots in the dirt. "I promised that there would be no more secrets between us anymore. And I need to get this off my chest..." Seeing three nodding heads – Jaune was a bit later than the other two, but he didn't voice any complaints – they sought out an unoccupied old camping site and chose places to sit. Between moss covered rocks and semi-rotten logs, nothing else seemed promising except for the bare earth.
"Take it slowly from the top, Ruby. There's no rush, make sure you're absolutely calm as well." Ren says gently, deciding to be the first one to break through the silent air. "Incoherent thoughts are troublesome to decipher."
"I just...I don't know anymore..." She sighs loudly, laying her chin over her folded arms. She had taken resident of a rotten log, making sure to brush away the dust and insects before sitting. Ruffling her own hair – disgruntled and frustrated – she sighs loudly again. "We can't just pretend that everything that has happened...didn't happen. I know I wasn't there in time when...Pyrrha passed away...and my memory is still fuzzy about the aftermath. But I know I still have feelings and remnants in the form of nightmares."
"...is it possible that a part of you never left the tower?" Nora asks gently as she heard the words. She cocks her head to the side, adding, "I mean...isn't that some kind of 'out-of-this-world' phenomenon we could possibly discuss about?"
"Nora? How did you come up with that idea?" Jaune asks her.
"The books within the library are filled with knowledge. I may not look like one who would sit and read like Blake, but I do find the occasional diamonds in the rough." She chirps, puffing out her chest with a grin. "Seriously, you should read a couple of them sometime when you have down time!"
"She practically begs me to read whatever I have in my hands." Ren tells them, his hands folded over his lap. "But that's not the point here. What is it that you have on your mind, Ruby?"
"That's the thing, I have too many things to talk about! Pyrrha's death, Penny's death, …even my silver-eyes that the adults never elaborate on. I feel like everyone is skirting around us, not mentioning everything to us!" The red-cloaked huntress poured out to them. "I feel like I'm not living up to the potential, to the expectations others want me to be. I'm a failure, and I'm sorry for dragging the rest of you with me up to Mistral."
"Ruby–"
"No, please, I'm not done quite yet. Bottling up my emotions all this time feels so bad that I feel as though I'm emotionally ill." She interrupts Jaune from what he's about to say, burying her face in her hands. "There's been a lot weighing on my heart, more than I've ever felt before. Had I known that by helping others there'd be this much repercussions...I would've...I should've..."
"Ruby, that's enough. Don't think of things like that." Ren spoke up this time, his voice slightly stern. This was a first time any of the others have heard their quiet nature of a teammate sound angry. "It's not good for your mental health." Then he turned to Jaune, "You too, Jaune. You need to let it go."
"I would...if it were that simple." The blond replies despairingly. His eyes darkened dramatically, and he added, "There's not a moment that goes by where I don't think of Pyrrha. She'll always be on the forefront of my mind. God, why did I have to be such a dumb ass? She was right within my grasp...and she was hurting to the end. I didn't know, and I just let her go."
"Jaune, we've been through this already." Ren says gently, making sure to keep the irritation out of the tone of his voice.
"Yeah...and we'll go through it as many times as it takes." The blond nibbled on the nail of his thumb before saying, his eyes glaring daggers at absolutely nothing. "I'll never let Pyrrha's death be forgotten so quickly. Never."
"No, Jaune. You shouldn't hold on to those thoughts, it'll only deteriorate you even further." Nora shook her head and raised a hand when he opened his mouth to refute her words. "You have to channel that anger into something else, not necessarily revenge. Jaune, you have been our leader since the beginning, and we never thought of you as anything less. In the face of danger – sure you had some blunders, and you rely on a shield and sword combo – but you never gave up, and you always found ways to get the job done."
"Even so...it didn't help her in the end." The blond uttered, avoiding their gazes. Sometimes he didn't want to have their pity.
"Jaune, we understand just how much Pyrrha meant to you. We could all see that relationship blooming since our second year and after the school dance. You guys were like two peas in a pod." His ginger-haired teammate tells him gently. "But never forget, you aren't alone. You'll never be alone."
"Nora..."
"She's right, you know. It'll just take time to rebuild yourself." Ren speaks up after her, giving him a head nod to show solidarity. "Although there are definitely limitations to what Nora, Ruby, or I can offer. Some things are much better being dealt with the individual alone."
"A-Alone?" Jaune parroted with uncertainty.
"Up here for one." Ren lifts up a hand and points to his temple. "Your mind...or rather, your mental state. I don't think it'll do us any good prying deep into your head. The second place," He moves his hand to his chest and taps once with a finger, "is your heart. When you come to terms with what happened, and when you feel like you can forgive yourself...only then are you allowed to let yourself heal and move from there."
"...same for me, huh." Ruby murmured as she listens to Ren's words. She clasps her hands together, almost to steady her fast beating heart. Slowly her eyes closed, and she felt the spell of sleep wash over her like a blanket. Definitely the same for me.
Somewhere else...
When the silver-eyed huntress opened her eyes she found herself lying in a field of grass instead of at the campsite. Sitting up she looks around in bewilderment, and somewhat excited. When was the last time she could take the time to slow down and smell the roses? In fact, when was the last time she allowed herself to let loose? The huntress jumped to her feet and took off running, letting out whoops and hollers of laughter.
"Salutations!"
"P-P-Penny?!" Ruby came to a halt at the sound of the familiar voice, and looked around frantically. She finally caught a glimpse of the ginger-haired girl in a patch of poppies, the sunlight lighting up the small splash of freckles upon her smiling face. The younger huntress immediately launched herself at her friend, sending the two of them tumbling across the ground. "Penny! Penny!"
"Friend Ruby, you're crying. But they are happy tears."
"H-How is this possible?" The young huntress asks her, sitting up with bewilderment. "The tournament, the fall of Beacon...even Pyrrha..."
"Did friend Pyrrha disappear too?" Penny questions and got her answer with a sniffle from her companion. She tenderly picks up a flower, stroking its petal with an index finger. "I see. My condolences."
"I...I wasn't there when it happened...But, Reina was there through it all."
"I've been hoping to catch a glimpse of friend Reina, but she continues to allude me. My guess is that, her bond with me is not as strong as ours; after all, you were my very first human friend Ruby Rose."
"And I wasn't there to save you..."
"Ruby, you are not the one at fault." Placing the flower down, Penny reached out to hold onto her companion's hand. Ruby blinked once before lifting her head to look into the playful green eyes. The emerald pools struck a chord in her chest because they reminded her of Pyrrha's eyes. "Really! No one could ever imagine that to have occurred. Even I was surprised!"
"If only Mercury wasn't in my way..." Ruby's other hand curled into a tight fist, trembling with anger from where it rest upon her thigh. "If only I was faster...If only I was stronger..."
"Breathe."
"What?"
"Breathe." Penny commanded, and squeezes Ruby's hand in support. "Deep breath in, and exhale out."
"Phew..." Ruby did as asked, and felt any feelings of anxiety and worries seep away. There was a calmness surrounding them and she felt her mind clear up like a blue sky.
"Do you feel better, my friend?"
"Yeah...just a bit. But definitely not as emotional as I was a minute ago." was the response. Ruby looks over and smiles, "Thanks, Penny."
"My friend Ruby, if there's one thing I've learned...it's that it is easy to tell yourself 'If only' long after the fact. Everything that follows after the 'If only', is only wishful thinking. But in reality we cannot achieve that kind of thinking, we cannot focus on what might have happened. We are stuck with the outcome of what does."
"...one day I'll avenge you. You and Pyrrha both." Ruby assures her.
"Revenge isn't something that should be your main driving point. I'm not even mad about what happened, Ruby. It was just an unfortunate turn of events. But Pyrrha and I had a great time battling each other, albeit she was acting a bit strangely...almost like she knew something more than the rest of us."
"Strangely?" Now Ruby was interested in what her friend was saying, gazing at her with intense silver eyes. "How so?"
"I don't know the details exactly, but I could tell she had a lot of things on her mind. It's as if she learned something so secretive, she couldn't voice it out to anyone else. It probably pained her for holding it all in."
"Then...then how do I know what she heard?"
"Ask." Penny told her.
"Ask who?"
"WAKE UP, LAZY BONES!" Nora's booming voice sliced through the dream like a thunderclap, and Ruby let out a startled gasp before flopping over off the log. The sunlight filtered against her eyes, causing her to growl with annoyance. Glancing up she could see Nora grinning at her with her white teeth on display. "There she is! Hey Ren, Ruby's awake!"
"With that voice in the mornings, I wouldn't be surprised if you woke up the entire Emerald Forest." Ren commented from where he was rolling up his sleeping bag. Jaune was not too far away, smothering out the remnants of a small campfire with his foot. "Ruby, you fell asleep so quickly that we decided to set up camp."
"Heh...sorry about that." She rubbed her head sheepishly, getting to her feet as Nora skipped around with exuberance. "I guess I was more tired than I originally thought."
"Nah, it was a good idea. We were all tired from the long walk. I guess I overestimated how much ground we could cover by foot." Jaune told her as he checked his bags, nodding his head when he had all of his belongings accounted for. "So taking the night off was...restful and well-earned."
"Then let's get going! We can eat and walk at the same time!" Nora hustled, leading them back on the correct path. "We'll try and cover as much as we can today, can't be too far now!"
What did Penny mean? Who am I to ask? Ruby thought back to her dream as she walks along side her friends. She was extremely happy to have seen the ginger-haired girl again, but her mysterious message left her confused. Who was the last person to have been with Pyrrha? Team JNPR...well, they're her personal team. She formed stronger bonds with them than with any other team...so the individual I'm looking for has to be one of these three! But which one...
"Ruby? If you keep your brows furrowed like that they'll become frozen. Then they'll have to call you 'Grouchy'!"
"Are you okay? You've had that expression since we left the campsite..."
"Hmm? Oh, it's probably because I slept weird. Don't mind me!" She told them sweetly. Out of the corner of her peripherals, she notices that Jaune was staring longer than he has been. When he realizes that she was on to him, he turns away and minded his own business. But that was all she needed to believe he was the one. Jaune...Pyrrha always stuck to you because you two were partners, there was something sparking in your relationship. There's no doubt in my mind that you were together with Pyrrha in her last moments during the tournament. Prepare yourself, for I have questions and I hope you can give me honest answers.
