By the Bonfire: The Soul that Seethes

Isolation was just as much a curse as a boon. He could not stomach to see the faces of those he had called allies at one point. All that awaited him now was the rightful judgement when Ritsuka awoke.

He was not one to pray, nor did he ever see value in the act. Yet if he was to ever put his fate in the hands of another, he could only hope they would deal with him in much the same way that he had dealt with others. Efficiently and without mercy. That was the fate he deserved, a fool and a traitor who could not even understand the very people he had quested to save. If there was a more pathetic existence in the world, he did not know of it.

Though his solace had come with burdens of its own.

At the time, he had scavenged what he could as Gwyn consumed him from the inside out, taking the memories of the Souls as they were torn apart and coveting the strongest of them from the sight of the God. He heard every fearful scream, every terrified wail, ever desperate plea of the souls trapped inside him. Unable to save them, all he could do was preserve their essence, carving their final moments and their furious thoughts within his own body.

…He was paying the price for it now.

They would come to him in flashes, moments of rage directed at something he could not remember, a face he knew but could not place. A time he longed for but could not recall living through. People he loved and never saw, people he despised and never met, names he cherished and that never passed his lips, memories of families he did not know. The faces of the slain who perished by another's hand.

It was a burden, a weight around his very being, that he was now chained with. He could feel them beneath the surface, writhing and seething. A deep hatred that would not fade, could not fade, shall not fade. All of them, forever, their final moments etched within him. A tapestry of fury that he could only direct towards himself, else their rage be aimed elsewhere. He could feel it, like fire through his whole body.

Drawing himself tighter, he pulled his hands into fists and placed them against his forehead, a shuddering breath escaped his throat as he could feel the next ones emerging. The voices that had not ceased, the screams that would not be silenced. They could not be silenced, he would not silence them. He felt their fury, their desperation, their terror. They begged and pleaded, screamed and cried, all of them beneath the fabric of his mind. But they could not surface, he let not a single one of them breach the ocean of souls.

They remained deep within.

He knew how many, he knew their names, he knew their faces, but he knew not their pain. Feeling rage and horror for memories not his own. Yet he did nothing, he changed nothing, he accepted it all. It was what he deserved, yet could not understand. The misery of those who lived as he wished, the joy of those who lived as he hated. The fear of those who lived at all. An orchestra of humanity, and he could not feel the rhythm inside himself.

If there was a beauty to be heard in this performance, it was not for his ears. It was a choir of pain, he felt nothing but fear as he gazed upon it. A deep sinking, the hooks of humanity slid from his body.

They were emerging once more, a whisper in the back of his mind.

His name…

He needed to recall his name…

What was his name again?

It wasn't…It wasn't…

He had two names.

Which one was his name?

Which was the tool and which was the man? Perhaps it did not matter, they meant the same to him. Yet there were so many names written upon his mind, their ink seeped through his body and into his very soul. Each was his name and each was wrong, there was a name that he had so long ago. Or perhaps it was only recently, endless names of endless people, those who still burned within and those who had faded from memory, banished from sight and mind and consumed by the light.

All he needed to remember was his name, that would bury the voices, it would let him remain himself, at least for a moment longer. That was all he needed to do, keep the voices placated until the judgement could be passed. This vessel could be destroyed and the souls could finally experience their peace, their quiet. He could finally let his journey end.

Why then, was his name so difficult to recall?

Something drummed through the room, either his mind or the air. His eyes opened once more, swinging to the sounds which echoed in his ears. Silence filled the void as the thunder faded, yet it would not last. Sounds beyond the wall, muffled voices of those who roamed the world. Those of singular minds and completed souls. The ones he had once sought to protect, yet he could not understand why.

Hands fell from his head, falling to his lap, his sight remained fixed on the door. The muffled speaking continued for a moment longer, then a hiss filled his ears. Light flooded through the blackened room, his eyes snapped shut and his head turned from the rays, barely making out a shadowed form entering, but he could hear the steps, he could feel them. The pulsing of their soul, a familiar sensation and yet was it one he knew or one of the souls deep within. Perhaps it was neither, perhaps it was a memory of those thousand years.

Focus, he needed to focus.

"I understand that your circumstances aren't the greatest, but there is a light switch for a reason." A voice he knew spoke out, words painted with exasperation, moments later the world was bathed in light. He recoiled, pulling himself in tighter and bringing his arms up, hiding himself away from the brightness and clenching his fingers, metal groaned from pressure, his breath slowed and his eyes banished the light. He was comfortable in the dark, he did not wish to see himself. "...What in the…?"

Footsteps moved away from him, towards the place where he once saw another's face. The face of someone else, the face of a shining knight. A crunching sound, boot stepping upon shattered reflections, he wore another's face. Was it the imposter or had it been another of the souls recoiling from the sight? He could no longer be sure, their minds were a chaos, a whirlwind of thoughts. He knew not who he was, he needed his name to remember, but all he saw was the face of the Sun.

"...See something you didn't like, did you?" The voice spoke again, much slower and filled with greater tension than before. Something dropped onto the ground with a sharp tingling sound, a scattering of glass as the footsteps grew louder and louder, approaching him. The familiar soul burned ever so brightly, he could no longer contain.

Arms parted, his eyes turned upwards and squinted. The sight of a black straight uniform, blood red fabric spun around their shoulders, flowing to the ground. Blackened hair that flowed like falling water, crimson eyes of like rubies. He knew that face, the young features hardened into an expression devoid of emotion.

Wait…

Did he know the face or was it another who knew the face?

He knew of many who knew her…

Was he receiving the sight of Oda Nobukatsu or perhaps Mori Nagayoshi, maybe it was the mind of Akechi Mitsuhide?

No, no it could not be them. There was no personal connection with them, it was one of the souls deep within that knew her. They had spoken with her, they had journeyed and fought with her. This was not a memory of another he had seen, this was a memory he had experienced himself. Or one of the souls had, yet his mind could not fathom a single soul who had seen them, interacted with them.

Yes, this was one of those he knew…

…Ah, yes.

"Oda Nobunaga." His voice came out listless and dry, a result of silence. The dark haired woman regarded him cooly, then turned her head towards the ceiling, keeping her eyes placed solely upon the lights for a moment and then back towards him, raising her eyebrow in a manner clearly questioning. "Was there something you required of me?"

She frowned, "I do not recall you being so formal." The words were delivered with a shake of the head and a turn of her heels, his eyes tracking her movement across the room, watching her take casual steps towards the bed, looking it over for a second and then speaking aloud once more. "Have you still not used this?"

Brows furrowed, his eyes lingered on the back of her head for a moment before averting his gaze from her. Had he used the bed? No, he had not. He had not even touched it to the extent of his knowledge, but he might have been mistaken in that assumption. The memories were…difficult to retain, they slipped from him so easily now and would return without warning when he did not require them. Not lost, just misplaced. "I haven't. I do not need to sleep, so I do not need the bed."

Releasing a grunt, Nobunaga shook her head from side to side and turned around, slumping herself down on the bed and then resting her hands on her knees. He caught the movement out of the corner of his eye but nothing else, she stared across the room, gazing down at him as he rested in the corner, just to the side of the bed, without saying a single word. Merely looking him over. Ten seconds gave rise to fifteen, which gave rise to twenty. Thirty five seconds later, she spoke.

"You look as though you could do with a rest. A long one, given how dreary you seem to be." Nobunaga remarked, bringing up her right hand and waving towards him. "I'd tell you to have a look in the mirror but it's currently lying in half a dozen pieces on the floor."

"I know." Closing his eyes, he felt another shuddering breath ripple free of his throat, a noise like that of a dust storm. "I saw something that was…" The words did not emerge, he spoke only silence from that moment forward. Keeping his eyes closed and drawing his body in tighter, enclosing his arms around his knees and pressing them tight against his body, dropping his head down onto his legs.

"Hmmm." Nobunaga hummed in response to his actions, the noise heralded several emotions that he could not place. Perhaps there was disappointment or irritation there, or perhaps grief and sadness. It might well have been all of them, but he could not focus long enough to hold onto them. "I just came around to finish our conversation from yesterday."

His mind ground to a halt.

Yesterday?

They spoke yesterday?

Bringing his head up, he felt his features crease in thought, shoving aside the souls deep within his mind and searching for something that related to Nobunaga. The presence of the woman in the room faded into nothing, his mind scrambled for information. He looked further and further, his efforts yielded information yet none of it was pressing. The actions of Nobukatsu, the betrayal of Akechi, the destruction of Mount Hiei-

-Bodies are burned, the mountain ablaze, the smell of death lingers on the sense, there are none who are spared, the temple is reduced to rubble, the screams of mercy are met with a swift end from the blade and the bullet-

His mind jerked back into the present.

Eyes narrowed as he found something there, something else. They did speak yesterday, he had very nearly lost it in the confusion, so easily it had slipped from his mind and almost drowned in the sea of souls. Dragging it to the surface, he allowed the memory to replay in his mind, familiarising himself with the conversation. Once finished, he nodded his head once and turned his attention back to Nobunaga.

"You spoke of Olga punching a Goddess." That was all the memory answered him with, perhaps there was more but it was all that he could draw forth. Yet it seemed to be enough as the Archer put on a somewhat amused smile and nodded her head up and down repeatedly. Evidently there was more mirth to be found in striking the divine, yet he could not bring himself to be as joyful of the act as he might have been in the past. The mere notion of striking the Gods now filled him with disgust.

And he was disgusted at his own hesitance to cause them harm, even if they deserved it. The lingering thoughts of the other him, or perhaps the resurgent strength of the other him remained in his mind. Dominating him inch by inch, demanding supplication to his betters and to abandon his notions of individualism. To become the perfect tool, yet the act of destroying the flame had destroyed the value.

What could such a mind do when it realised that it had no purpose in existence?

"Haha, yeah." Nobunaga remarked with her lip curled upwards, whether she realised it or not, she brought his mind back into focus and turned his eyes onto her once more. Regarding her with an unblinking stare as her self gratification continued, oblivious to his own troubles. Or he assumed as such, it was difficult to tell what was what anymore. Assumptions were easier to make than confirmations. "She's been something fierce these last few days or so, actually rather surprised come to think of it."

"I'm not." His words moved faster than his mind, Nobunaga turned on him with a tilt of the head, the unspoken question in her eyes. He withheld a grumble to himself, realising he had dragged open the chance for another conversation. Turning to the floor, he placed his hand upon the surface and turned his fingers in a circle. The simple movement was oddly comforting for him. "There is a singular strength in her soul. Not like Ritsuka, hers is different."

A hum was his answer. "Different how?"

"Do you care?"

"This is the first time you've actually spoken about her at length." Nobunaga rebuffed his efforts with a grunt of dismissal. "Besides, I'm more curious to hear how you actually feel about her. She was clearly the sort to place a lot of trust in you and yet there is something there which cannot simply be explained away with a mere guidance of comrades. She took your betrayal quite hard and looked like she was going to give me the old three up and three down as well."

The circling of his finger paused for a brief moment, his sight became thick with glazed dust. For a split second, the image of Olga passed through his mind, her torn expression as she stared at him and the trickling of tears on her eyes. He knew he should have felt something in that moment, but all he could feel was relief for finally expressing his thoughts. Worse when his mind moved back further, the gentle touch of her soul in the palm of his hand.

The ease at which he could have just…squeezed.

Thoughts surfaced for a moment, then were forced back down. The lingering echoes of a knight, armour barbed with thorns flashed through his mind. A single instant of weakness nearly cost him there.

Clarity returned to his thoughts once more, his mind gathered its semblance of a personality. "I…prevented her death."

A noise was his response, a mixture between accepting and confused "I figured it was something like that, but most would say that they saved her life, you know?"

"...I imagine most would." He remarked quietly, slowly bringing his eyes closed and resuming his tracing on the grounds. "I would assume that they would also mean it when they say it as well."

"...You don't, eh?"

He slowly shook his head from side to side. "It is to save someone to watch them perish from disease. I brought her back just to witness her fall into something lesser…something repulsive. I did not save her life, I prolonged her suffering. Yet, what I would call suffering, she would call life." his eyes opened, regarding Nobunaga with a tilt of the head "A strange paradox, is it not? With the knowledge and my own perspective, I should rise from this room and slay her…I should have slain her when she stepped foot into my domain."

Feeling his lips curl upwards, he continued on "I never realised how easy it was to kill, there is a simplicity in it, a surprise. The complexity of life, ended in a single moment. There is nothing that remains of them after that and I consume what lived, I feed on the fragments of what was. A subject I never gave much thought to and now…I tremble with-"

Her expression was changed, brows furrowed and apprehension written on her.

His own face curled inwards, disgust roamed through his body and his eyes snapped shut, his hand tightened into a fist and he dropped his head down onto his knees once more. Breath leaving him in a single exhale. "...My mind wandered for a moment. Forget what was spoken of."

"You mean those maniac and psychopathic rants?" Nobunaga dryly remarked, he heard her move, likely shaking her neck. "The hell I will. You jump from speaking like a distant figure to revelling in death like a common killer. What on earth is the matter with you?"

"I told you, my mind wandered."

"Yeah, that's not what that means. It means they aren't paying attention to-"

He exhaled. "I…the result of Grandmother was far more reaching than I thought. For a brief moment, my mind was but one of many within this body…" he drew his hand back, looking it over. Those phantom moments he had, where his hand didn't even feel like it was his hand, where he was looking at the limb of a stranger. The height of the room would at times feel wrong and the world felt too cold or too hot. He had too many limbs or too few. "It is not a sensation I can forget and some of the embers…lingered. That is the nature of the undead and unkindled. To retain memories to retain sanity. I could not discern which memories were mine and which were not. It seemed simpler at the time to just collect them all."

Silence welcomed his words, yet he could not feel comfort through it, silence of the external was not silence of the internal. There was always the whisper just glancing off the back of his mind at every moment. Some so distant that he could not hear, others so close that he thought himself accompanied in his isolation.

When Nobunaga did speak, it was slow and methodical. A manner of speech he knew well enough yet had no experience in dealing with, the type delivered by one who was about to ensure they had not heard something incorrectly. "Are you telling me you're hearing voices in your head again?"

"...Not voices. Emotions. Thoughts. Lingering memories." At least not all the time, something they would manifest as voices but he wasn't sure if they were truly awake. They never spoke directly to him and only through him, he didn't know if it was their emotions influencing his words or if it was something else. He would need to downplay it, whether it was for his own sake or someone else's he didn't know. Self-preservation or inducing neutrality when speaking with him. "I retain sanity despite them all, many are too distant to cling to and those that are strong present themselves clearly…as you saw a moment ago."

Nobunaga stared at him in silence, then slowly rose up from her seated position on the bed "Have you been like this since you got back?"

He assumed so, he couldn't find the memories where he hadn't been like this, but he knew they existed. They had to have existed, else he would never have considered this a problem before today. He recalled the chaos with his mind as Velka's hushed whispers brought them to the forefront of his mind and nothing else. "Yes. It is not an experience I am unfamiliar with, however. If you should be alarmed, in wielding weapons from past heroes, I went through much the same process of reading their memories. This is much the same."

Turning his gaze to her, his eyes met hers and the incredulity was blinding. Despite the show of distrust, he kept her gaze without folding, crimson orbs shining into his own eyes - whichever colour they were now - and remaining silent. After what lasted seventeen seconds of silence, she eventually spoke in another exasperated tone of voice. "Master still hasn't woken up, and it's getting to the point where I'm concerned for your supply of magical energy. Saber class ain't exactly famous for Independent Action. That's more my speed, I'd consider it a miracle you're even here." she frowned, then tilted her head, eyes narrowed as stray thoughts swirled through her features. "Unless you being a living Servant, irony aside, has anything to do with it. Whatever the case, it can't be helped. You're still here so might as well make the most of it."

…What was there to make the most of?

His betrayal?

His differences?

Her words were nonsensical.

"Was there something else you came to speak with me, or was it merely pointless banter you desired?" He raised an eyebrow at her, addressing her reason for being here in the first place. It was not logical to him, the motivations behind her presence did not make sense. Unless they did and he was ignoring them, perhaps he was doing just that. Sometimes his own thoughts didn't make sense to him. His mind would wander so far from the path he originally stepped foot on without realising.

She scoffed loudly, lips curling into a smirk and placing her hands on her hips. "You must be joking. There is never a moment in which anything I do is pointless, merely a case where people just don't see the full breath of my strategy." Her boast was confident, jutting her chin forth and grinning widely, tone as though she had spoken a universal fact and not merely excused her being.

"This would be another case where I cannot grasp the full extent of your plans?" He dryly remarked, then shook his head from side to side. "Perhaps you would do well to stop surrounding yourself with those who cannot fully understand your motives and your reasons. Given that all those thus far have betrayed you, myself included now."

Now placing him with the vaunted company of the likes of Akechi Mitsuhide and even her own brother. Or one of them at any, it was surprising to learn that she had more than half a dozen siblings to her name. When she spoke of her brother, he had always assumed she meant just one, but as it turned out, she had six. Though Nobukatsu was the more well known of the group, reasoning for that aside.

Nobunaga shrugged "Meh."

"...Meh?"

"Meh." She repeated with the same disinterested look on her face "I've been betrayed before and your attempt on my life was actually pretty pathetic." her expression turned disappointed as she looked him up and down. "In fact, I'm actually insulted with how little effort you put into it. At least Nobukatsu tried to have me killed properly, you know? Well…I still had him executed the second time he tried that but that was sort of on him."

His brows furrowed, light consumed him, he was upright a moment later as he tapped into the power deep within his being. Nobunaga jolted as her eyes drifted from the floor where he had been sitting to where he now stood tall, towering over her and looking down. Her eyes rapidly darted between the two spots before she eventually pointed squarely at his face. "Did you seriously just teleport to stand up? Are your legs broken or something? Most people just stand. Is this some sort of powermove you're trying to pull on me or something because I don't do that magic stuff?"

Eyes glanced her up and down for a moment, his arms rested at his side as he turned and stepped around her. "I was merely debating your sanity for a moment. I've noted that there are surprisingly few who have breached through my doors in an effort to claim my head…I was expecting visitors of the more hostile variety and I am left…despondent at the lack of attention I have received."

Pacing around her, eventually walking past her and making a half turn, eyes lingering on her face for a moment. "I can see the surprise on your face, I was waiting for them to enter. I just wanted to see what sort of expressions they would wear after they burst in and decried righteous vengeance…" an alien chuckle rippled from his throat, his eyes returned to the door. "The woman who guards my prison is so distant…her anger is clean, dull…boring. As though she seeks to commit a chore."

His eyes closed, the pleasant feelings filled him as the terrible thoughts surfaced "Waiting for someone to appear who is more betrayed has proven to be something of a disappointment. I can almost taste their despair…oooooh…how I would have savoured the tortured face of the pale haired woman." lips curled upwards "Perhaps the young girl, how I loathe that I cannot face her now. Just the thought of her mind as she contemplates such a betrayal, the emotions she would wear would be most deli-"

Something snapped, numbness spread through his hand as the thoughts faded. A cold swept through his mind, he straightened out and exhaled. Bringing his left hand up and turning his eyes towards his fingers, and the index one that he had bent out of shape with his thumb. His right hand reached towards it, grabbing the digit and snapping it back in place with a faint twinge but little else.

Clicking his tongue, he turned to face Nobunaga, her expression was perturbed once more, bordering on being blatantly disturbed by his words. Not that he could blame her, the ease at which he had slipped once more was surprising. Yet her expression was fresh in his mind, clearly he had not done this when they spoke yesterday.

Drawing his hands into fists, he felt the bones in his body groan for a moment and right themselves completely, then he loosened them once more. "I offer my apologies again. Conversations seem to be where I lose myself…when I'm alone my emotions are kept in check but when we speak…"

She was still looking him up and down without saying a single word, then she closed her eyes and shook her head from side to side. "That ain't right, not right at all…so. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and speak with someone right now."

"Velka, I assume." He exhaled "You should not bother, I doubt she will be inclined to do anything for me. Given that she was the one who put me in this state, intentionally or not, she is better at revealing sins, forgiving them is only a sham." he moved past her "Though if you want to waste your time on a fruitless endeavour-"

Her arm caught him as he tried to move past, he fought back the split second urge to rip her arm from her body and beat her with it. A hundred or so souls that despised being touched without permission growled back for a moment before he silenced them with a pulse through his mind. Instead, he turned his eyes towards her arm and then journeyed up towards her head and stared at her.

Nobunaga was not looking at him, her eyes remained fixed straight ahead, not once moving from where they were aimed before she started to speak again. Her tone of voice made it clear she was holding back on saying what she truly meant to at the time. "I think I'll make a choice of what is considered a fruitless endeavour or not. Besides, I earned the name of the Fool of Owari. I didn't do it by making sensible choices."

"I did not need to be told that." He stepped forwards, shaking her arm free of him. "I spoke of it in such a way to deter you, but if you wish for me to speak plainly then I shall do so." she turned her head and looked up at him. "I doubt anything will come of it and you run the risk of angering Velka. I have little doubt there are some sins that she would wrench clean of you as well…and she would enjoy herself as she did so. There is no reason for more victims within Chaldea…at least I am deserving of her wrath."

He shook his head, moving towards the bed once more and turning around, placing himself on it and dropping his hands onto his lap. "Besides…the thought of harm coming to those who attempt to entreat with Velka on my behalf is disconcerting to me." he kept his eyes on her as he spoke "There is no cause for more victims, either because of my actions or…as a result of my inaction. Once was enough."

Nobunaga regarded him with a silent look, thinning her lips before shaking her head slowly from side to side. Saying nothing as she approached the door to his room and opened it up, pausing just as she stepped outside before turning her head, looking over her shoulder towards him. "Still something left of you inside there, huh? Even after all that, you're looking out for me."

For a split second, her lip pulled itself into a smile before it faded. "I'll be back soon with some news. Keep yourself sane. No retainer of mine ever went batshit mental."

"Nagayoshi killed a man for asking him to dismount."

"...Yeah but he was always like that, it would have been more crazy if he didn't kill the guy, you know?" Her defence came after a short pause, waving her hand dismissively. "You don't earn a name like Oni Musashi for being extremely polite, you know?"

"Hmmm."

"Also I knew you could tell jokes."

"Who said I was joking? I am being serious." He stated with utmost sincerity. "I have reviewed your personal history at length. Throughout it all, I find myself amazed with how much you accomplished given the nature of your subordinates and the swiftness with which so many betrayed you. That you were able to unify as much of Japan as you did is an achievement in itself. I would have expected you to die decades before you did."

Her brows furrowed, now turning to fully stare at him before she let out a boisterous laugh and threw her head back. "That just means my genius is exceptional and can surprise everyone! Wahahahaha!"

If that was what she interpreted it as, then he would do nothing to dissuade her. What did he know about the achievements anyway. It all seemed like madness to him. Incomprehensible madness. Waving her goodbyes to him, she closed the door once more and retreated from the room. Though she doubtlessly was oblivious to the fact she had let someone in the moment she had opened the door and avoided closing it.

"You're not an Assassin, Sulyvahn. Though I am certain you could be summoned as such if you set your mind to it." He spoke to the silence, waiting for any sign of a response. That being said, Sulyvahn was still smart enough to understand that any attempt on his life would ultimately end in complete and utter failure. "If you came here to mock me, then I shall allow you to have your little jokes now. From what I understand, that is all you have been reduced to."

Snorting, he allowed his lip to curl upwards in victory. "I believe the modern terminology would be a side character. Where once you could have taken the lead role in changing the world, you have been relegated to merely appearing every few chapters where you repeat the same tired dialogue over and over again." he cycled his hand as he did so. "Though why break a habit now? I'm certain you came here to laugh at my state of madness, or perhaps boast of how you shall finally see the end of me."

The amusement faded. "...You will likely be right on both accounts now, something I am certain must please you immensely."

As expected, the air to the corner of the room shimmered, an effect like rippling water and Sulyvahn revealed himself. A small roll of paper twisted and turned into the shape of the Pontiff. He was beyond surprised that such a trivial use of the chameleon spell had worked as well as it had.

There was no chance that Scathach had been deceived by it, but if she allowed his entrance then she was certain of his intentions. Or she was certain he would die if he tried to take him in a fight. She would be right, even without a Master he still had strength enough to rip Sulyvahn apart with his bare hands before the Caster could even bring his blades to bear. A part of him would even revel in the sensation, that much he knew.

Sulyvahn stood in the corner of the room, bereft of his weapons as he allowed the steel sword in his hands to fade away into motes of light now that the casting of the spell was done.

Raising an eyebrow at the unusually silent Pontiff, he straightened himself up. "Are you truly so lost for words now of all times? I would have assumed you to fly into an extended rant in regards to something. Likely how you would finally see my culled like the dog you always knew me to be, or perhaps you would profess you would take some perverted joy in watching me perish and assure me that you would continue the work to save humanity as it was meant to be done."

He shrugged his shoulders "Perhaps you have just come here to point and laugh, maybe spill some of the details of my betrayal from around Chaldea. Inform me how much harm I have caused and watch my expression twist with despair." he rolled his eyes, exaggerating the word with exasperation. "How close am I to the truth? I know how much you value cutting right to the heart of the matter...until it no longer suits your interests and then a lie will suffice."

Crossing his arms, he let out a hum. "I wonder how much of the stories circulating around Chaldea are the truth or your truth? Or are they not mutually exclusive, as I have no doubt you boast about." he mocked with a sneer "Sulyvahn the truthspeaker, quite the title I am certain. Though given how many already know of you by reputation, I doubt they would be so willing to believe you. That must burn, to be denounced as a fraudster even on the rare occasions where an element of truth does drip from your barked face."

Sulyvahn remained silent, something which soon brought an irritated frown to his features as he rose up from his seated position on the bed. Brows knit together, annoyance at the silence that greeted him soon gave way to a chuckle. "Are you already at a loss for words, Sulyvahn? You've never been one to allow insults against yourself. An ego like glass and the reactions of a viper, so quick to counter a threat to yourself. It's a wonder you lived as long as you did without someone striking you for that tongue of yours…or that unfettered arrogance you cloak yourself in."

The silence persisted, uncrossing his arms he curled his lip back down into a deep frown and eventually felt a growl build up in the back of his throat. Huffing, he waved his hand at the Caster dismissively. "If you are to stand there and say nothing, then you might as well have brought me a genuine tree for all the mirth that I can derive from this. After hearing so much care placed upon me, I find myself starved for some genuine amusement, I'm disappointed in you."

His eyes roamed the Pontiff up and down before he shuddered and made a noise of disgust. "Is this truly the extent of your influence now? Have you been beaten into submission like some common mongrel? Too afraid to let slip your thoughts out of fear you will face reprisal?" rolling his eyes, he shook his head and turned away. "The great Pontiff Sulyvahn, reduced to standing in the corner of a room like some common house plant. At least now you are actually useful for something. An ornament for children to decorate, how amusing. I believe there is a holiday known as Christmas that would better serve your newfound status as a silent-"

"Do you intend to rant for the next hour?" He was silenced by the exasperated voice of Sulyvahn, what caught his attention most of all was the lack of interest in his voice. Not even sounding as though he had been annoyed by what had been hurled his way. He paused, thinning his lips and turning around to face the Caster. Staring into the featureless face of Sulyvahn, watching as the Pontiff stared at the back of his hands and flicked dirt off his fingers. "Because if you are, I might well find a seat. Though it would certainly be one of the most exhausting performances to sit through."

His jaw rolled and his eyes narrowed. "So you are not devoid of your tongue yet? I would have thought you to-"

Sulyvahn sighed, a roll of his eyes on his voice as he spoke. "Please, spare me another one of your ear blistering lectures on how pathetic I am or how much of a fool I might be. It would save us both a great deal of time and, unlike you, I have that in abundance right now." lowering his hands to his side, the Pontiff continued on. "Even if that were not the case, I can actually make use of my time effectively. I can achieve things with it beyond…whatever it is you spend your time doing now." he gestured to him up and down.

Snorting derisively, he shook his head. "So you claim, and yet you have marched all the way down here in secret to do what? I doubt it's to come here and kill me. You're smart enough to know how well that would work out for you."

Sulyvahn hummed. "You'd be correct. I just came to see how much of you was truly left, evidently not a lot by the shift in your speech and the emotion in your voice." he shrugged "I do not need to say anything to you, if only because it would be as though I was insulting someone entirely different. I came here to ask if there was anything left of the unkindled dog that had been summoned. Looking at you now…I have my answer."

He rolled his jaw. "There is enough of me left to hate you."

"Why?" Sulyvahn asked in a bemused tone of voice, inclining his head to the side and spreading his arms wide for a moment. "There's more cause to hate you now than there is to hate me. Well…more cause to hate yourself, I suppose. If there is one thing to come of this, I now know the result of hundreds of souls being awake inside a single vessel. They all start to go insane due to the merger. It must be horrible…"

Slowly turning to the side, Sulyvahn leaned back and aimed his sight towards the open door of the bathroom. A low rumbling chuckle emerged from his throat. "I wonder, what did you see in that mirror of yours? It must be horrible, to stare into the reflection and see the face of a stranger. Which soul punched out that mirror? You, perhaps? Or maybe another of the rabble inside your head."

"..."

"Are you going to lose all your bluster now?" Tutting loudly, Sulyvahn shook his head in disappointment. "I was getting rather used to hearing you. Though it was in such a way that is novel, seeing you so monotone for the most part and suddenly your mind is being fragmented under the weight of all those souls, bits and pieces being torn apart and the original being slowly usurped. Do you even hate me because of yourself or because you carry the souls of my victims?"

Clenching his jaw, he huffed out through his nose. "I do not need their souls to hate you, Sulyvahn. You achieved that by your own needless suffering. Those your slaughtered without mercy and finding humour in the act, those you tortured if only because you could." a snarl bubbled from the back of his throat. "Whatever sense you might have had was muddied by your brutality."

All Sulyvahn offered in response was a silent stare before he hummed with intrigue. "Perhaps there is a touch of the original left after all, but just that. A mere pinch of what you were is all that remains." gesturing to himself, he continued on. "How much of you is truly you. Do you even know how much has been replaced or lost? When you think about yourself, how many thoughts scream in your mind how wrong it all is. How many whimpers do you get?"

He pointed to the corner of the room where he had been sitting. "When you lie on the floor, are you kept awake by the memories of strangers?"

"Just…be silent." He felt mentally drained from this encounter already, shooing the Pontiff away with a wave of his hand. Dragging himself across the room to his original spot, the sword still buried in the ground next to it. "I hate you, and there's just enough left of me to tell me that is mine. If all you came here to do was tell me things I already know, then you've wasted your time. Yet pointing out the obvious has always been a delight of yours, mistaking common sense for wisdom."

Sulyvahn scoffed "If nothing else, this version of you seems to enjoy speaking more often. Though with such passion in your words, it does not suit you."

"I will defer to your expertise then, swine."

"Charming." The Pontiffed sighed, he placed his back against the wall and leaned into it, bringing his arms up and crossing them over his chest, all while keeping his eyes on the Caster. Looking him up and down as the Caster remained in his stationary position. "But if you want to know another reason I came here, it was to deliver you with some news. I have been advocating for your death."

"Hmph. Ever the opportunist."

Sulyvahn mumbled in affirmation. "Yes, yes. Though it is more for your sake that I make this offer."

He was sceptical. "My sake? I would have assumed it was just so you could finally see me die. Even if not by your hand, at least you would get the satisfaction of watching me perish."

There wasn't even a denial from the Caster, quite the opposite. "That did factor into it, yes. Quite a lot of the decision to out your betrayal was based upon this reason. As much as you hate me, make no mistake in that I did hate you…well, for a time at least."

Raising a brow at the Pontiff, he did not fight the incredulity. "A time?"

"Hating you now is akin to hating a hammer. A pointless exercise." Sulyvahn dismissed "There isn't an ounce of freedom within you, being angered by a puppet who changed hands is beneath me. I can aim my hatred towards Gwynevere for being so foolish as to birth you, or that idiot Llew for letting himself be pulled along by her whims, and even the flame itself for bringing you back…hating you? What agency is there in your actions that was not drilled into you?"

Sulyvahn chuckled. "I doubt you could even stand beside a human being, even before your change to an unkindled. So yes…I do not like you, but hatred is reserved for those who make a choice to oppose me. You? A pale imitation of life."

He closed his eyes and refused to respond to the provocation.

"But I know they won't accept my advice, even when the boy wakes up from whatever occurred and speaks with you for whatever reason. He'll no doubt decide to let you live in some vain hope of…rehabilitating you." The mocking on the tongue of the Pontiff was almost drowning. "No doubt mistaken in the belief that there is something worth saving in you, or that can even be saved."

Opening his eyes once more, he stared at Sulyvahn with a half-lidded gaze. "And you don't."

"No. I don't." Sulyvahn confirmed quickly, then pointed to him "But let us assume that the boy can somehow reverse the damage done to you at the hand of Velka. Let us stray into the land of blind optimism and bask in the sun of naivety." he snickered for a second. "Even if he were to bring your true self back…what is there to save? A dog who begs for his master's leash? Is that really all you have left to live for in your life without the souls tearing your mind asunder?"

"..."

"I am willing to bet you even understand this yourself, patiently awaiting the boy to awaken so that he may deliver judgement to you. Though I think we both know he won't kill you, he hasn't the stomach for that sort of action. Regardless of how necessary it is."

Exhaling, he tightened his grip on his folded arms "Is there a point to this, Sulyvahn?"

Sulyvahn was silent for a moment, then slowly nodded his head up and down. "There was a time I would have hated you with a passion. Where I would have demanded your death simply because you exist. A time where I would have delighted in the mere thought you would be put down." letting out a tired sigh, the Pontiff turned from him, crossing his arms behind his back. "Looking at you now though? I see nothing more than a confused and blind child victimised by the Gods."

He let out a dry bark of laughter. "The mighty unkindled who broke the flame. The thorn who ruined my plans for greatness and clarity. Nothing more than a victimised little boy. That is all you are to me now. A victim. Unlike the princes…I was much too slow to save you."

"Pffftahahahaha!" The laughter erupted from his throat instantly, tossing his head back and thudding it against the wall. There were many emotions that cycled through him, amusement, disgust, shame, anger. All of them projected into the laughter of kaleidoscope feelings. "Hahahaha! Saved by your hand? I would rather have been born like Gertrude."

"Gertrude still had some wits about her, crippled as she was." Sulyvahn countered swiftly. "And need I remind you that it was Lothric who set in motion the events that would lead to where we stand now, at my behest. Understand this single thing, Unkindled. He was akin to a son to me…and you killed him." for the first time since he heard the Pontiff speak, there was a true primal anger in his voice. "I should have slit your throat for that alone."

The amusement faded. "...I did not hate him, if that should appease you."

"Storms do not hate people, that does not stop the masses from hating them." Sulyvahn exhaled, shaking his head. "That is beside the point at the moment, but vengeance for Lothric was another factor in it all. Yet, when I call for your death…deep down, it comes from a different place. Perhaps something you know well."

"And that would be?" He asked with a bored tone of voice.

"Mercy."

"...Pointing out the obvious yet again, are you?"

Sulyvahn scoffed "You are not ignorant of your true nature, but you cannot grasp the extent of it. Even if you recover your mind from Velka. There is nothing to be saved." he paused before correcting himself. "Nothing worth saving at least. Just as you burned Ariandel for the future because of the rot, so too are you rotten from the inside out."

He raised a lone eyebrow at the Caster.

"You are stuck, unable to betray yourself because you cannot betray yourself." Sulyvahn brought his hands forward and pointed at him. "Moulded to be the perfect puppet, you serve but a single purpose. Perhaps your master might change hands, but your true self will always be loyal to that single purpose. Duty. It might be exploited for a greater purpose…but that is hardly a life worth living. One trapped in a fixed existence with no hope of growth or change. Remaining forever trapped in a vicious cycle of repetition."

His eyes narrowed. "Get to the point."

"You cannot be saved but Ritsuka, fool that he is, will devote valuable time and effort onto the wasted quest that is your betterment." Sulyvahn declared, raising a single finger. "Even if he makes a meagre amount of progress, you will always defer to your true nature because that is what is comfortable for you…that is what is right for you. Then, one day…you will turn on him again because that is how you are meant to live."

He lowered his arms. "As you said it yourself. You cannot comprehend humanity and you never will. There will never be an ounce of originality within your being. Fixed to follow a set pattern that deems no other method of life correct. You might…curb your desires for a while." Sulyvahn admitted, pacing around the room. "Keep them buried but, like the souls deep within you, they will bubble up to the surface eventually and you will do what you always have done."

He felt cold.

He felt cold because he knew Sulyvahn was right.

Barely even aware how close Sulyvahn was until he took the longsword from the floor with a sharp grinding sound. "So I call for your death. Yes, because it will make me feel better…but also because it is the right thing to do. Yours is a life beyond salvation, beyond rehabilitation." he turned to him, approaching him with the sword and then extending it towards him by the blade. "The Gods turned the world into a prison for aeons. It took me decades to undo that and it was only possible when they were at their absolute weakest…you?"

Sulyvahn shook his head from side to side. "Gwynevere had you from the moment you were born to her. She has you even now. We both know you can't escape her words, nor can you escape her commands. If Ritsuka tries to aid you, he will fail and it would doubtlessly cause him pain and threaten the future of humanity as a whole…"

He stared at the handle of the blade for a second, then back to Sulyvahn. Wordlessly, he reached out and took the sword into his hand and pulled it forth gently, Sulyvahn offered no resistance as the weapon was removed from his grasp.

"If there is an ounce of you that does despise the suffering of humanity, the true suffering of stagnation. Then spare everyone the burden of your inevitable betrayal and damage." Turning around, he advanced on the door once more, leaving him alone. "Think on my words, Ash. See if that name you gave yourself has even an ounce of worth."

The door was opened and shut swiftly, leaving him alone in the room.

His eyes lingered on the sword, staring at his reflection in the face of the weapon and lowering it to his side. However, his words did not linger on the implication of what Sulyvahn had told him to do, they focused on something entirely different.

"...So that was what my name was."


AN: Chapter in a nutshell.

Sulyvahn: "You serve no purpose in life. Your purpose in life is to be in the second archive. Your purpose in life is to be in Chaldea, being used as Gong ammunition. Your life is nothing! You serve zero purpose! You should burn yourself now! Give someone else a piece of that experience cards and materials so that we can level up some better Servants. Because what are you here for? To consume Saint Quartz? Burn yourself, I mean that with a hundred percent, with a thousand percent. I've never seen somebody more worthless in my life. I deadass have not seen a more worthless Servant in my life."