By the Bonfire: A meeting of urgency

"He's awakened." Arkon stated as he entered the room, the news was so urgent that he would have to forgo the usual formalities. It was shameful that he could not do both, but times were becoming trying and this was the best he could do. He stopped in the doorway, staring at the lump on the bed as it turned towards him, slightly parting as the head of Gwynevere emerged from beneath the covers.

She wet her lips before speaking. "When-"

"Today." Cutting her off before she could finish was further shame, but thankfully it didn't appear as though she minded. She likely understood the situation just as much as he did. "I was informed of this recently by Servants who were present when the human leader announced the awakening of the summoner when she arrived to claim food for him. They passed along the message to me when I arrived and have returned here."

Gwynevere was silent, her eyes remained on him for a few seconds before they slowly moved away from him and to the side. Lips drawing themselves into thin lines as thoughts danced behind her eyes before she spoke up. "I see. That is…fortunate though…" she fell silent and looked away from him.

Arkon watched her in silence, he had already come to the conclusion of what would happen. "I shall speak with him swiftly. I will not reveal your presence immediately, though I will make inquiries as to how he would react if you were summoned if your…relation with them is as strained as is lead to believe." he exhaled. "Even if they understand the deception of Seath, that does not mean that suspicion will be banished immediately. Their concern for the undead and your attempts to deal with him-"

"I know that." Gwynevere cut him off tiredly, he watched as she rolled her jaw from side to side and looked down. "I know that…it all comes back to him, doesn't it?" she muttered to herself under her breath, eyes slightly narrowed for a few seconds before she huffed and looked to the side. "...You can speak with the human summoner, see how likely it would be for him to let his prejudice rule his actions and then return…though I have perhaps a day if I refrain from using my powers. I…please, do not rush but…urgency is appreciated."

Nodding his head to her once, he turned towards the door and advanced on it, pausing for a few seconds before he turned his head to look over his shoulder at the Goddess. "You have my word, your grace. I shall fulfil my duty as a Silver Knight and see that you are awarded the same comforts as Sulyvahn…else I shall express my own discomfort with all that has occurred." he was silent for a moment before he shook his head.

He would not speak the words aloud, but he was sure that Gwynevere's concerns were unfounded, sinful as that thought might have been to hold. Ritsuka might have been human but he was unwilling to let bias cloud his judgement, in spite of everything else. If one could fight with the likes of Sulyvahn by his side or if Chaldea as a whole could stomach the idea of the Unkindled remaining alive after his attempts at killing them then Gwynevere was sure to be at least accepted.

Stepping out into the hallway, he closed the door behind him and turned down the hallway. It was barely a moment later when he felt the presence settle within his mind. Though he initially ignored it, he found it nearly impossible to do as it just above pressed upon him to be discomforting without being painful. Coming to a stop, he glanced up and down the hallway, satisfied he wasn't going to be approached, he spoke quietly to himself.

"What is it now?"

"So close to the end, you think I would allow the final act of this theatre to play out and not offer my own commentary?"

It was difficult not to laugh openly, difficult but not impossible. He knew that if he did that openly, then he might as well be signing his own bill of execution before he even reached the room of the summoner. Velka was only contained because Velka wished it. If there came a point where she wished to leave, he was certain she could do so. "I believe I have been clear on the welcomeness of your commentary."

"So cold." Velka chuckled within his mind as he walked, he grit his teeth and ignored how her laughter was as nails to a chalkboard. "But you would spurn me so soon? How long before the boy realises something is amiss? He will notice in due course…what do you suppose his reaction shall be when he discovers you intend to argue for the sake of his friend's abuser?"

"His friend is a cur who thought that killing everyone was the correct path." Arkon replied after barely a moment of hesitation. "If he can stomach the existence of that one, if he can stomach the existence of Sulyvahn the swine to stalk the halls, then all arguments upon the exile of her grace are mute."

"A world propped up on the sacrifice of children? How noble of my daughter. How valiantly she flung her children to the wolves-"

"And where were you when she fell before the court to beg that her crossbreed daughters not be slaughtered in their cribs?" He received no answer, he had expected no answer. He knew where she was just as she knew where she was. Away, mingling with her fanatical cultist followers. "Speak your treason to one who would be fool enough to hear it. Keep your hatred of the royal family private and dare not slander them to me."

Whether the traitor was ever to make a response to him or not was something he would not know, he tuned out her words as best he could as he continued on his path towards his current Lord, hands clenched into fists by his side. Velka made no further efforts to pierce his mind as he moved, something he could find small comfort in. Perhaps he had caused her to realise sense, but even that was something he was dubious about.

If even Lord Gwyn could not reason with her, then Arkon refused to believe that he could succeed where his King had failed.


He sensed it, or rather he had sensed it for some time yet even through all of that, discerning whether it had been a trick of the mind or whether it had been something genuine was difficult to grasp. Each time he believed it had been false, that same tingling sensation would shoot through him.

Hope.

Hope that his mind had not drifted from sanity just yet and he was not making a fool of himself in believing that the presence was true. That they were here, that there was the chance - the opportunity - to meet with them one more time before the end. It was a concoction of emotions he could not begin to make sense of, yet a single one rose through all of them.

A need. A pure and simple need to meet with them one final time, just so he could truly put it all to the test. Whether or not the words of Sulyvahn had rang true, whether or not he was truly unable to ever grow beyond what he was born into. Though he likely already knew the answer, one would never know unless they fully committed and put it to the test. Turning himself, he pulled his body from the floor and glanced to the corner where the sword had been planted.

The weapon which Sulyvahn had offered him to end things before they could grow, ironic that it was the same sword that birthed all of it. The weapon he was raised with, the weapon that Ash was born already holding, a simple sword of little worth other than the fact it had been made specifically for him. He could still see those images, clear as though through the noise and the taste of all other emotions, those untouched pictures at the forefront of his mind.

When she stood before him and handed the sword to him, when she looked at him and with such divine beauty she promised him that he would fulfil his duty. That he would find his worth with that sword, he would help everyone with it. That was his purpose in the world, and with that sword he would once more find his purpose.

He moved towards it, reaching out and taking the weapon into his hand before jerking it up, pulling it from the ground with a scraping sound before holding it up, examining the reflection and seeing the face of one that was him and yet was not him. Closing his eyes, he sharply turned from it and let out a shuddering breath. With renewed purpose, he stepped towards the door with sword in hand, slamming his hand onto the button and opening it up.

The response was as fast as he had been expecting, the crimson spear that promised yet another death was poised for his face as though it had always been there, ready. His eyes lingered on the tip hovering just an inch from him before they moved up the length of the shaft towards the owner, dull red eyes stared right back at him, cold and calculating. He could see it, the expectation for battle and how she would end it quickly.

Perhaps she would, but he doubted she would be able to completely kill him, even weakened as he was he was certain she lacked the power to eradicate every single soul that remained within him before he was fully accustomed to her fighting style. After that point, it would become a matter of who had the greater patience for a prolonged duel. Though that was if he was even interested in a battle in the first place.

She stared at him, then slowly inclined her head to the side. "Days without movement, even through visitors, and you choose this moment to finally rise from your isolation…why?"

"I am surprised that you even asked." He commented aloud, unmoved by the threat of death - for what meagre a threat it was - and keeping his voice level. "Days you have remained outside of my abode, though your desire to end my life has been plain for even me in my degrading mind to see." he paused for a moment, then nodded his head up and down. "Though I suspect you act under the orders of Olga while Ritsuka remains asleep."

There was a brief pause before her eyes narrowed before they returned to their regular blank nature. She lowered the spear from him with a blur of movement, but he was not so easily fooled. There were a dozen ways that she could kill him without even lifting that spear into her hands.

Her response was puzzling though, perhaps she had been expecting a different answer? Regardless, it was not her that he was seeking an audience with. Though he watched as her eyes fell to the sword in his hand and her lips thinned. "You seem comfortable with that weapon. So simple and yet so fitting. Your first?"

"Is this truly a conversation you wish to have with me?" He could not help but ask, frowning lightly.

She shrugged "Perhaps, perhaps not. Though the fact remains that you have chosen now to step into the halls of Chaldea, armed with your most tested weapon and this comes after days of inaction." she radiated bloodlust as the sun radiated heat. "So then…for what reason should I even consider allowing you to move even one inch from this place?"

"There is one I must speak with before the end." There was little reason to conceal it from her, though he knew she would not let him pass without further information all the same. That was good, she took her duty as his guard seriously. He would afford her that level of respect, even now she knew what she was doing. Not letting their brief interactions with one another stop her from running him through if the need arose. "I know not how long she has been here but she is here all the same. I must ask her something…or I need something from her."

Scathach regarded him for a moment, then parroted a single word back. "She?" there was a faint hint of surprise in her voice before she thinned her lips once more. "And while it remains true that the Goddess Velka remains-"

"I know where my Grandmother is." He shook his head from side to side "And I have little interest in speaking with her…or…" glancing to the side, he felt a pang of adrenaline shoot through him, the faint tingling of his mind as the memories and sensations of all those souls at once briefly sparked to the forefront for all of a second. Yet to him, it felt like an eternity. All that pain and suffering, experienced as though for the first. It was overwhelming and sudden. "...I would rather…never face her again."

"...You fear her."

"I fear what she could do to me and with good reason." Irritation flooded him, he snapped a response back to the woman, answering her subtle accusation with his own annoyance. "The fact you do not fear her is testament to your lack of experience…" he clenched his jaw, cutting off the sentence and closing his eyes. "...I avoid her with good reason for what she could do with but a wave of her hand. My mind lies in pieces because of a few words spoken by her and I…" he opened his eyes once more. "...I would not so quickly step into line of sight with Velka again."

Scathach remained silent, looking him up and down before she silently nodded her head up and down. "Yet there is another you wish to speak with?"

"You may accompany me if you wish." He offered, though perhaps it was more of a demand. "It is something that shall not last long…I need only see her to confirm my answer but…this is the final request I have, if you would be willing to let me step past."

"But you would go with or without my assent."

"I would." Whether she allows his departure or not, he would have gone regardless. This served as little more than a formality to ensure that he was granted enough time. He could have just as easily teleported himself there, yet he knew she would have wasted no time in following after him and bringing every available Servant with her. Not that she needed the help, he wouldn't have put up a fight but he wished for it to be a private affair.

Her eyes roamed to the sword in his grip once more, lingering on the blade as she spoke. "And where would you go, armed with such a weapon?"

"..."

"...Hmmm." He had been prepared for a rejection or further arguments, yet she stepped to the side and gestured to the hallway with her head. A faint jerk but enough for him to get the message. His eyebrows pinched for a moment in bemusement, something she clearly noticed as she replied. "I am not one to allow the dead to linger with regrets. Though I am not to let you walk these halls yourself, I shall grant you this final action before fate decides what shall befall you."

"Generous." More so than he expected from her, taking a single step forwards and turning to give her his back. There was no cause for concern, she could just as easily have run him through the front as through the back. She offered no rebuttal save for a gentle snort, then followed after him as he started to walk.

The world faded around him as he advanced, even reaching through his senses - degrading as they were - he could sense the Heroic Spirits and Gods around Chaldea as though they were stood next to him. His mind had expanded slightly, yet he never bothered to glance further. He could sense Gwyndolin though, yet he doubted his…his uncle could sense him. He wasn't even sure that Gwyndolin was aware of the familial relationship the two of them shared.

Strange, he would have thought that would be one of the first things Sulyvahn would have openly gloated about to the Darksun God. Boasting about how it was the spawn of Gwyn that ended the rule of the Gods and snuffed their achievement. If Sulyvahn had done so, he would have expected Gwyndolin to have torn down the walls to his room and unleash his fury upon him, yet he had been met with few visitors beside Nobunaga on repeated occasions.

There was only one thing he could conclude from the lack of angered divines in a rush to gut him. "They do not know my parentage, do they?"

"That has been one of the better kept secrets around Chaldea as of late, for the time being at least." Scathach remarked with a dull tone of voice, though it shifted for a moment into something else he couldn't quite make out. "Were you expecting it to have been announced openly for all to hear? Curious as your heritage might be, it does not change what has been done. It would only serve to further bias against you."

Ash raised a single eyebrow, not showing it to the woman but feeling the incredulity build within him for a moment before it faded. There was a clinical nature to the way she spoke, as though there was little to be gained emotionally from a discussion with him. Not that he could argue with her words, his actions were his own and in spite of his childhood with Gwynevere, he would not have the blame shifted from him on account of parenting. It was his own choices that led to this. Gwynevere was responsible for his current mindset, but she did not own his being else he would not have tried and failed to kill her as well.

Still, to further a bias against him. "Are you not biased against my undead nature?"

"For what reason would I?" Scathach did not even hesitate with the answer she provided. "While I shall freely admit that there is discomfort in your existence, it comes from lifetimes of witnessing the struggle of the undead. As it was claimed that you kill out of mercy, so too is my duty considered a mercy. The legion of wraiths that wash up at the shores of the land of shadow fall to my spear else they would linger and writhe. I see little difference between you and them, especially now."

Ash was silent, then hummed in assent and nodded his head forwards. "I can understand that. Though I would ask why you agreed to train me if you viewed me as another suffering undead." he came to a stop at the front of the elevator and reached out to push the button. Lowering his arm and keeping his eyes straight ahead. "Had I been in your shoes with your duty, I would have killed me where I stood, even with the knowledge I was allied to Chaldea."

Scathach exhaled behind him. "Though there is value in my duty as keeper of the land of Shadows, I am not in the land of shadows. At least not at the moment and I can put aside my distaste for lingering undead." he turned his head to look at her over his shoulder. "I am more than a killer of wraiths and forgotten things, I elevated your skill because I saw there was purpose in how you swung your blade…a purpose that was missing from all other undead I had encountered before."

There was a moment, then she shrugged "You might have called it a simple whim, but that is all there was to it. For one with a storied life such as yours, it seemed an ill fitting end that you never reached your full potential before you died. But that is my pride as a teacher speaking…you did not ally with Ritsuka because you sought to extend your life, you did so because you believed in his goal. I considered that interesting enough to stay my spear for a time."

"...And now?"

"Now? Now you have betrayed your oath to your master." Her words were delivered with the cold sharpness of the spear she wielded. Her eyes were void of emotion as she spoke bluntly and swiftly. "There are few things that are so low as oath breakers to me. You cannot claim insanity, for you were sane when you attempted to kill your own summoner…were you not?"

"...I was and still am." He frowned at her, though the latter part felt as though it wasn't wholly true. "...Or I considered myself sane at the time. I have little chance for self examination and was shown nothing to convince me my world view was wrong…" he turned back around, holding up his sword and staring at it once more. "...But it was my choice to put my own duty above the duty of others. I…followed my desire in that one moment. A strange thing but it is what it is."

The door opened and he stepped inside, turning around and pressing the button for the next floor down. That was where he sensed it, the feeling. The gap in the world that was all too familiar, he doubted anyone else would have known about it. Yet he did, because he spent so many years clinging to that sweet sensation as though it was ambrosia. Perhaps it still was to him.

Scathach followed him inside, moving past him and assuming a standing role to his left, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. "...Do you regret it?"

"What good would regretting or lamenting my choices do now?" He thinned his lips, watching the doors close in front of him. "What is done is done."

"That was not what I asked of you."

"...No…it wasn't."

"Then?"

"...I do not know." He breathed out, bringing his left hand up and moving to clutch his face, burying his features into the palm of his hand and tightening his grip on his forehead until it was almost painful. "And that…that is what I regret."

"...I see." Scathach commented, then fell silent as the lift continued its descent.


While it was never the case that he would feel nervous, he could not help but feel a pang of apprehension at the task that stood before him. Ritsuka had proven himself at least open to working with those who had troublesome pasts yet this was an entirely different affair. He was emotionally affected by her grace and had been under the influence of Seath and his own relationship with the undead Servant.

Arkon himself was no stranger to having his judgement compromised in the past, even now there was still a small part of him that burned every time he thought of Faraam. It was forbidden to speak the name aloud but all the same, he had never purged it from his mind. He was envious that Ornstein had the strength to wear his loyalty to the firstborn so openly in the past.

Shaking his head, he clenched his hands into fists and stared at the closed door in front of him. He had put it off for around a minute but it would not change what needed to be done. No amount of his own cowardice would solve anything. Taking in a deep breath, he reached out towards the entrance and pressed the button. The door gradually lifted itself up and the interior of the room was revealed to him.

What greeted him first was the sudden silence, the conversations that had ended the moment he had stepped foot into the room. His eyes swept over the interior and he fought back a mild grimace. While he had hoped that it would just have been himself and Ritsuka, there was the fact that the Covenant leader Olga, the young shield bearer and the healer were also present in the room as well.

Their heads turned to him as one, Ritsuka himself blinked once at him, then offered his hand in a slight wave by way of a greeting while the others just stared at him with open curiosity.

"My lord." Bowing his head, he stepped into the room. "I shall begin by speaking to my relief that you were not permanently injured in the battle of the city." crossing his arms behind his back, he watched the expression of his human summoner as they offered a faint chuckle that didn't sound very humorous.

"Yeah…I'm alive." Ritsuka replied, his eyes glancing to the side for a split second before they returned to him and he nodded his head. "Still, thanks for coming to see me anyway. I know that everyone was pretty worried about me…" he brought his hand up, scratching the side of his head and exhaling. "Sorry for-"

"It is for us to apologise for allowing the situation to arise, not for you." Arkon cut him off before he could finish the thought. Allowing Ritsuka to start doubting himself would spiral into catastrophe after he was gone. The seeds of doubt would grow into an orchard as the failures he was doubtless to experience, even the minor ones, mounted higher and higher until they consumed his mind. Every choice would be riddled with doubt and that was a poor foundation for any leader. "Merely think of this as an oversight that all may take the opportunity to learn from in the future."

Ritsuka exhaled, nodding his head up and down "Yeah…that would probably be the smart thing to do, huh?"

He raised an eyebrow behind his head but said nothing. Wetting his lips before taking another step forwards. "Though, on the matter of London…there is something that I would ask of you-"

"He's recovering." The curt voice of Olga gripped his attention as she looked to him from her seated position, her amber eyes narrowed and a clear warning in her tone. She certainly lacked the intimidation but he could see where she was coming from. Perhaps in another situation, he might have even lauded her efforts to keep her subordinate safe. Yet this was not the time for half measures and there was much to discuss. Had he been ignorant, he would have backed down.

He wasn't ignorant, however.

"This is a matter of urgency for me that cannot be put on hold." He countered her with his own curt tone of voice, flexing his hands open and closed behind his back and ensuring his voice was not too uneven. "While I accept the need for his recovery is true, I cannot put this matter aside…it is of great personal importance to me that I be granted an answer."

Olga rolled her jaw "Are you going to put your own needs above the wellbeing of your Mas-"

"It's fine, Director." Ritsuka's quiet voice stopped her dead in her tracks, whirling her head towards him with wide eyes which swiftly narrowed. She opened her mouth with, no doubt, another declaration on the tip of her tongue, yet the boy placated her with a wave of the hand. "Arkon wouldn't do this carelessly…so if it's important enough that he'll come here, I can hear him out."

Ritsuka turned his head to face him, nodding once. "Go ahead."

Arkon exhaled. "My thanks…Sulyvahn has let slip that you encountered the Goddess Gwynevere during the course of the Singularity." he watched the reactions, instantly noticing the expression of Ritsuka twitch at the mention of her grace. Evidently the link was as bad as the Goddess had mentioned, not that he doubted her but it did seem unrealistic that anyone could hate the Goddess. "And that there is cause to believe that you two would not have parted on the…best of terms."

Wetting his lips, Ritsuka nodded his head up and down slowly. "I won't lie…she isn't my favourite person in the world right now."

"I see…" This was the moment of truth. "The summoning of Chaldea has the chance of summoning Gods. The presence of Lord Gwyndolin proves this. Therefore, I must ask, if her grace was summoned…would there be cause for me to concern myself with her safety?"

Ritsuka didn't reply immediately, instead he blinked once and then slowly furrowed his brows, lips being drawn into a thin line.

That wasn't to say that his question was met with silence.

Olga saw to that. "The relation between your Master and the Goddess ended poorly and your first concern upon learning of this is whether or not the Goddess is the one in danger?" the woman rose from her seated position, expression hard. "And not whether your Master - the one you are contracted to - would be in danger from her?"

Arkon was a patient man, he stomached working alongside dragons and traitors but even he had his limits for what he would allow. His head snapped in the direction of the woman instantly, and though she didn't flinch he could see that she became more guarded than she had been before. His jaw clenched as he spoke the words. "I have served the Goddess and the Royal family for generations before your ancestor was even born. My loyalty to them runs deep and while I would hold similar loyalty to Ritsuka…do not think I would drop all concern for the Goddess simply because I am not bound to her."

He kept his eyes on her for a moment, something flickered in her gaze as she glanced across the room towards the healer for a moment and then back towards him. She maintained her posture, even in the face of his full attention, though he was hardly being wrathful towards her. Merely annoyed. "What value would my oath as his Servant be if I could so easily change my loyalties? If all it took was a mere brand on the back of someone's hand to earn my dedication? I am not cattle and I refuse to be treated as such."

Mash took that as her chance to leap into the conversation, stepping up from the side with a hard look on her face. "No one is suggesting that, Arkon-san."

Sparing her a glance, he knew she was earnest enough to mean her words but that did not mean to say that others shared her sentiments. His eyes lingered on her for a moment before they returned to glaring at the pale haired woman, a glare she matched with her own hard look. Neither one of them showed much of an interest in backing down, that was fine with him. This was one instance where he would not retreat, not this time.

"But Arkon-san, if Senpai has reason to be worried about Gwynevere." Mash continued onwards, he snapped his head towards her, something she noticed and quickly corrected herself with a hand gesture. "Goddess Gwynevere, then…isn't it right to believe there is a good reason for that? I know that you are still loyal to her but if she and Senpai are at odds then shouldn't you ask for the story?"

"I know the story." He replied in a cool tone of voice, straightening himself out and tilting his head to the side. "And I have yet to see an issue with her actions."

"What?" That flat voice came from Olga, he glanced at her from the corner of his eye and watched an expression of disgust mixed with fury wash over her features, she looked very close to just outright cursing him though she held herself back. "You have yet to see issue with her actions…with how she raised her own child-"

"And?" Silence followed his question as he turned and looked around the room. "She raised her son with a purpose and a duty to uphold. I can not think of a more worthwhile existence than being in service to the Gods." he frowned behind his helmet before shaking his head from side to side. "You can only offer your own opinions because you have not experienced the majesty of the Gods and seen them at their height, life under them was very different in ways that I shall not even begin to describe, for it would do a disservice to them."

He gestured to himself. "We Silver Knights were all born with the singular purpose ingrained into our being. We knew our place in the world and we were all pleased with it, for the most part…Even those who abandoned their role still showed reverence to the Gods." he lowered the hand. "I see no distinction between any one of my comrades and the unkindled. Though I shall speak plainly, had I been in the position of her grace I would not even trade words with the unkindled, nor would I have allowed his return to Chaldea."

He turned and looked Ritsuka dead in the eyes, the teenager stared back at him with an expression that was impossible to discern, though the faces that the others in the room wore were far less reserved. "Your attachment to this undead is novel and that not a single one of you has called for his immediate execution-"

"Enough." Olga snapped at him "We're getting nowhere based on this difference of opinion and I…I am not even going to entertain the idea of it. It's because of this…this warped mentality of yours that he is currently in the state that he is in. I'm not going to kill him for being a victim-"

"He's a victim of insanity brought about by his own twisted mind." Arkon waved his hand "He was not raised for longevity and it was his choice to abandon faith in the flame and plunge the world into endless dark. I should kill him for that alone, rendering the sacrifice of Lord Gwyn as null and void…" he paused, catching himself at the last moment and exhaling. "...But we are not here to discuss my own opinions. I am not so base as to let my personal feelings dictate my actions beyond my sworn oaths. That is why I am coming to you now."

"Because you're worried about Gwynevere being summoned and if my problems with her might put her in danger." Ritsuka surmised bluntly, the expression on his face remained perfectly blank as he spoke and there was hardly a trace of emotion in his tone.

Nodding his head once, Arkon continued on. "I…realise that you attach a greater importance to the undead than I do and I fear that attachment clouded your judgement. From all I know, he declared his intention to kill you and then made repeated attempts to do so. Her Grace ended his life in an effort to save yours and…" he lowered his arms to his side. "I do not understand why you would have problems with such a thing."

Ritsuka rolled his jaw, gradually nodding his head up and down. "Yeah…I figure you'd say that. I'm not gonna bother explaining it to you because we'd be here all day and I doubt you'd really understand whatever it was I was saying…" he paused for a moment, then shrugged. "Or you would just say that you experienced it so you don't see the problem or something like that. Fact is…humans don't treat their children like that. We don't birth kids and then send them off to commit suicide. There's…that's a crime."

"Her Grace is not subservient to human laws."

"I know that." The boy huffed with a shake of his head. "But…no matter which way I look at it. It's pretty disgusting and I can't put that sort of thing behind me, knowing that she would willingly do that to her own children? Just…give birth to someone with the full intention of having them kill themselves and…" he closed his eyes, letting out a breath and raising his hands to rub his face.

"...I can't put that behind me and I can't look at Gwynevere as though that didn't happen." Ritsuka gradually lowered his hands. "But…but I know what Sulyvahn did. Gwynevere has the paper thin excuse that she was trying to save the world or whatever…Sulyvahn went on a massacre because he just wanted to have a spot of fun or something and…and I can't start saying one is okay because he didn't do it to anyone I knew."

Thinning his lips, the teenager shrugged. "...I haven't spoken with Ash so I don't know what his thoughts are yet but if…if I did summon Gwynevere…I wouldn't let my issues with her get in the way of it because…" his fingers drummed on his lap. "...It feels really ugly to say this but she probably meant well in her own way and…Hell, Caffrey seems jolly enough so…so I have to believe she's more than what she did to Ash…"

His features twisted for a moment "...Desperation makes us do things we would otherwise recoil from."

Arkon furrowed his brow, it sounded as though he was paraphrasing someone else's words but he could not think of a moment where someone had said that and he could not think of a more fitting comment for right now. "...When the lifehunt manifested in the eyes of her firstborn - the crossbreed - it was decided that she be put to death rather than allow the danger she represented to remain."

Ritsuka gradually turned his head towards Arkon, raising his brows but saying nothing.

"Her Grace…she came before the court and begged them to spare the life of her child." He was one of the few Silver Knights present at the time, it was not a story well known and the crossbreed was not a secret that was well publicised. "She had no reason to and it was apparent the child would not be allowed to remain, yet she begged all the same…thus a prison was constructed for the crossbreed to remain in, where she would spend the remainder of her days."

"See…that's what I'm talking about." Ritsuka waved a hand at him "One moment I'm hearing about how she's begging people not to kill her children and in the next it's…" releasing a breath, the clenched his eyes shut. "Look…I can't put it to one side because I don't like it but I'm not a God and I don't live at the end of some doomed world so…I don't know what I would do but I'd like to think I wouldn't consider sacrificing my own children for…nevermind. Just…I'm not going to hold it over her head if she comes here. I'm not going to start forming lynch squads for something she did in a past life because otherwise I'd be going around killing every Servant who answered the call…Leonidas kept slaves."

He shrugged his shoulders "Slaves. I can't justify that. I can't say 'well, it's fine' but I'm at least willing to look past it because we're desperate so…so no. Gwynevere won't be in any danger if she arrives in Chaldea."

That was all the reassurance he was looking for. All he needed to do now was deliver the good news.


They watched Arkon depart shortly afterwards, he supposed he should have expected someone to come to him after finding out about Gwynevere, apparently Sulyvahn had some loose lips around that. He would need to speak with the Caster about keeping a lid on it for the sake of trying to cause problems, not just for the sake of Chaldea but for his own sake as well. He was liable to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and wind up getting punched or something.

Shuffling in his bed, he could feel the stares directed at him from the others in the room. Thinning his lips, he glanced to either side of him and took in the faces of the others, Mash had a more conflicted expression while the Director looked torn between annoyance and genuine anger, though he was certain it wasn't directed at him. Romani was just holding a decidedly passive expression, looking as though he was in no rush to speak up.

"Senpai." Mash broke the silence, shuffling and glancing down at him with a touch of concern. "I know we aren't in a position to pick and choose our allies but…if we do summon Goddess Gwynevere, then…what are we supposed to do about Ash?"

Ritsuka thinned his lips. What were they supposed to do? The answer seemed remarkably simpler. "Tell him to grit his teeth and bare it."

It came out a lot harsher than he intended, it was more of a reflex response than a thought out one, he could tell but the way that Mash flinched that she hadn't been expecting that sort of a reply. Closing his eyes, he brought his right hand up and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Look…you're right. We're not in a position to pick and choose our allies and Gwynevere…you've seen what Siegward can do with his healing miracles and by his own admission, he's just an amateur."

He lowered his hand, gesturing to himself "When Gwyn…appeared…it felt as though my skin melted." he shuddered at the memory. "Like…you ever smell hair burn and then realise a moment later that it's your hair or…God…all I could think of was barbeque at the time." the laugh that rippled from his throat sounded half crazed but it was an experience he wasn't soon to forget. "It was like someone leaving meat on the grill for too long and then you get a nose full of burnt burger or something and…and that was me."

The expressions he was getting didn't do much favours but this needed to be said. "Then she just waves her hand and…the smell is gone and the pain is like…like a bad memory or something so…yeah." he shrugged "If she even agreed to be summoned there is no chance I would let my anger get in the way of someone who could literally save my life and probably did save my life."

Mash's features slowly softened, nodding her head up and down "...and Ash-san?"

"...I'm sure as heck not going to let her get close to him without someone else in the room, that's for sure." He grumbled "But if Ash can tolerate the idea of Servants like Leonidas and Sulyvahn then I can at least ask him to tolerate the idea of Gwynevere roaming the halls. Same with Gwyndolin, I know he has his problems with her but I'm not about to put the literal fate of humanity beneath them."

Even if he said that, it didn't stop the twisting of his gut as the thought of having Ash work alongside the person who was responsible for his current mentality there. Even if Ash didn't think of them as friends, he still thought of Ash as his friend but…but this wasn't a case where he could let his personal feelings get in the way of things. Besides, Haku didn't like her and wanted to avoid her presence like the plague, so she had to have done something to make the Caster not like her that much.

And really…anyone who had problems with Haku or Seath…

"...Just…I haven't even spoken with Ash yet and I'm already being asked about how he feels." Ritsuka mumbled under his breath, even getting news about the Saber was difficult enough and all he normally received upon the mention of his name were grimaces and troubled looks. He very much doubted they related to the fact Ash had betrayed them in the Singularity, if it could even be called that.

Well, it had been a betrayal, he had outright tried to kill them, but at the same time Ritsuka had seen the way Ash demolished an entire army in less than a minute, killing Servants with trivial ease and stealing their Noble Phantasms from them. Then he goes to fight them and suddenly he's dying frequently? It didn't take a genius to put two and two together than Ash's heart really wasn't in the battle.

He'd probably have a much better idea of how much he would be able to stomach being around Gwynevere if she got summoned after he spoke with Ash.

He spared another glance around the room, his eyes ending on the Director and watching as her expression was cycling through several emotions before eventually settling on something he couldn't quite place, she folded her arms over her chest and sat herself down in the chair next to him. Keeping her jaw clenched shut and her eyes focused on something else, clearly deep in thought.

"...You directly interacted with Gwynevere." Olga spoke after a few moments of silence, her eyes flickered towards him. "What can you say about her personality?"

"...Did you not ask anyone else?" He wasn't trying to accuse her of anything but given that he had been out of sorts for around four days at this point, it seemed more likely that she would have gone for anyone else on the topic of opinions. Mash had been there as well to speak with Gwynevere, same as Sulyvahn…though he imagined that Sulyvahn would have been a poor choice given his blatant dislike of the Gods.

Narrowing her eyes for a moment, the Director clearly fought back a response before she spoke again. "I have a basic grasp of her as a manipulator. I am asking you because you would be the one in direct contact with her. Your ability to be neutral towards her is…admirable, but I would prefer to hear your own opinion."

"Don't know." He shrugged his shoulders, earning a blink from the Director. He could tell she wasn't going to be pleased with the response but it was truly the best he could have offered. Swinging and arm towards the door where Arkon had just left. "Before he stepped foot in here, I would have said she was self-centred and narcissistic. Completely tooting her own horn every chance she got and doing so in a way that made you believe her as well…but apparently she's also just as likely to save her kids from death as she is to send them to their death. I had multiple Servants telling me they got bad vibes from her and she still stuck around when she could have run off just to heal me…for some reason I can't even begin to explain. She never lied to me at least…she just didn't tell the complete truth."

Olga slowly softened her features the longer he went on.

"So…that's what I have to say for her personality and the short conversations I had with her that amounted to not very long." He shrugged his shoulders and was unsure of what else he could say. "Whether it was the influence of her weird beauty soul or because she was genuinely that sort of person…I don't know. She just felt as though she knew what she was doing and heck, she probably did. She's responsible for Ash and she regretted it in her own weird way so that was probably the best you were ever going to get out of her but at the same time…"

Placing his hands on the bed, he lowered his head and stared at his feet as they dangled over the side and rested on the floor. "...It just seemed to disappear when I watched Gwyn try to burn her alive slowly because she disappointed him. He didn't even hesitate so then I have to think…is that where she picked it all up? They all have this weird fixation of duty and it all comes back to Gwyn so…" he sighed "I must just be clutching at straws here but I have to think there is something that can be salvaged or…"

He snorted. "Setting myself up for another Haku situation again, I know I am but…God…I'd rather not suspect every single person I ever meet of being a duplicitous scumbag and even with Haku…bad as it was…He didn't kill me. Could have done, if he was really on Gwyn side I figured he would have done. Didn't hesitate in killing his own daughter but he spared me and he spared you because I asked him to and…Heh…must sound crazy."

His lips pulled themselves upwards into a rather empty smile. "Here I am, still with damn visions in my head of killing people with my bare hands…I can still feel the warmth on my fingers of…and after all that…even through all of that I'd…I'd look at someone concealing their name from me, whose every iota of evidence points towards them being a horrible person, I'd look at them and go…there's something about them that I'm alright with."

Drumming his hands on the bed, he let out a breath and brought his head back up and looked towards the Director, rolling his lips and clicking his tongue. "So yeah…Gwynevere. Don't know. Even if I did, I'd probably still work with her. I'd probably find something…she healed me. Helped us. That's gotta count for something, doesn't count for a lot against what she did to Ash but…yeah…not got a lot of choice so…is what it is."

The face of the Director was twisted ever so slightly in mild discomfort, looking at him as though he had probably said something rather shocking. He more than likely had as well but that was just who he was. He'd always considered himself laid back when it came to handing out judgements on others and he wasn't about to change now. "...I think I'd like to have a little nap or something. I'm feeling a little…tired."

He didn't get much in the way of protests, thankfully being allowed to fall back onto his bed and closing his eyes. There was no chance in hell he was getting a peaceful night's sleep though, he knew that before he could even start counting sheep. Yet that didn't change anything, he'd been tired out with all the visits and the final thoughts on Gwynevere all but drained him of the remainder of his energy.

The room shuffled around, people leaving him to his rest.

He'd probably need all his mental strength for when he met Ash tomorrow.


Ash could feel the questioning gaze of Scathach the moment he came to a stop in front of the room, the intrigue persisted the longer the two of them stood just beyond the precipice of entering. He was in no rush to enter but at the same time, it felt as though the longer he put it off, the worse it would be.

The answer he craved was right in front of him, but he dared not even consider it.

He shifted his head towards the Lancer when he heard her take in a breath. "Your conversation alluded to speaking with a woman. Yet we find ourselves standing before the room of the godling Knight."

"Indeed." Ash nodded his head once, confirming her words. "Yet it is not the Silver Knight I wish to trade words with, it is the one who resides in his chambers and has done so from the moment she came here from the Singularity." he turned his head to the door once more, staring at the bleached surface and gathered his mental strength.

Reaching towards the button with his left hand, his fingers fell short of it for a few seconds, his eyes watched as they gave a faint twitch, a brief pang of resistance from somewhere deep within him. A small part of him all but begged for him to turn around and forget all about this, to walk back the way he had come. Not for fear of rejecting answers, but for fear of receiving them, as though the answer would ruin him completely.

He crushed the resistance and pressed his hand against the door, it slid open a moment later and he could feel the ocean rush over him in that one moment. That dazzling sensation that was sweeter than the finest honey and more addicting than the richest wines. He knew that sensation well, he had grown up with it, his every waking thought was to bask in it and to receive it.

For a moment, he was utterly enraptured, then his will rushed back to the forefront if only slightly, his legs obeyed his commands and rose up from their rooted spot. Taking a single step into the room in complete silence, his eyes swept over the interior before they locked onto their target.

He wasn't sure which of the two of them was more surprised to see the other, he had doubted his beliefs that she was even here in the first place. Up until this moment, some part of him would have dismissed the mere notion that she was even within Chaldea, that she was nothing more than a figment of his mind. Yet, here she was for all to see.

As for her surprise, perhaps she had thought herself more secure. Indeed, he could sense the shock on Scathach behind him, even without turning around, he knew the Lancer was baffled in her own way to see the Goddess Gwynevere camped out on the bed of the Silver knight, her hair frazzled and with a bowl of some frozen treat in her hands, caught midway through a bite.

Even in this state, she was still blinding, her presence still consumed every ounce of his attention and he let it.

Golden eyes remained locked onto his own, his mother remained as still as a statue, for a brief moment it felt as though time had halted. They were trapped in this moment of eternity, so still that one could have heard the whistle of even the gentlest breeze. The only evidence that time was still moving was because of the rapidly increasing breath of his mother and the fact her pupils shrank into pinpricks.

The bowl slipped from her hand in the next moment, bouncing off the bed and falling onto the floor, shattering into dozens of pieces and flinging shards of ceramic across the floor. A splatter of whatever she had been eating now lay upon the floor, mixed with the remains of the vessel that carried it. Yet through it all, their eyes never once parted from the other, she did not so much as even flinch during the noise.

It was only when the spoon slipped from out of her mouth and onto the bed that she finally reacted.

A noise somewhere between a gasp and a cry rippled free of her throat, it was a noise of such genuine terror that he found himself rooted on the spot. The fact that he knew for a fact he was the cause of that fear was swiftly followed by the knowledge that she was moving to cower from him. Yet he could feel it now, that dwindling presence. There was so little of her magical energy left but even with that, she was still a shining beacon.

The cry died in its infancy, the skin on her face whitened and Ash found himself puzzled as to why, though the question was swiftly answered when his eyes slowly moved away from her face. Noticing that he had closed the distance with her so swiftly and so suddenly that neither one of them had really noticed until he was right on top of her.

Gwynevere did not even take a breath, the edge of his sword just kissed upon her throat, so close to her perfect skin that if she so much as swallowed, she would have scored a nick in it and ruined perfection. Her eyes remained locked onto his own, mouth parted but not a single sound emerging from her.

He gradually brought his attention from the sword and towards her face once more.

It would be so easy.

All it would really take would be a flick of the wrist, barely even a twitch and he would open her throat up. Not even a Goddess would survive him cutting open her throat.

Really…it was something too easy to do.

Unshed tears prickled in her eyes, the golden orbs wavered slightly and her breath started to intensify, he watched her features degrade the longer the seconds dragged on. The terror that was flooding across her face was…

It looked as though any moment she was going to start crying.

…And he was responsible for it.

Hatred flooded him in the next moment.

Not aimed at her, but at himself.

The sword was flung across the room, her eyes tracked it as he dared not rip his own away from her, the clatter of steel first against the wall and then against the floor were akin to the roars of dragons for how loud they were.

Gwynevere let out a single breath, her hands reaching towards her throat and scuttling away from him, moving so quickly that her back slammed against the headrest of the bed, releasing a whimper and pressing herself further against it until she was almost flat against the wall, pulling her hands away from her throat and revealing them to be clean, her eyes darted from the palm of her hands to him several times.

Ash turned his attention from her, slowly bringing up his sword arm and watching it tremble, his fingers shaking violently as he slowly closed them into a fist. His eyes clenched shut, his teeth grit themselves and he brought the hand upwards, pressing it against his forehead and hunching himself over.

"Pffft."

A single noise ripped through the room, half crazed and half pained.

It took him a second to realise it was him.

"Pfffthahahahahahahaha!" The laughter bubbled forth from his throat easily, it wasn't particularly funny and he didn't really feel mirth, but it was the only reaction he could really give in that one moment. "Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

His knees gave out beneath him, he thudded to the floor and lowered himself down, all the while he kept up the crazed laughter. "Hahahahahahehehehehehehehohohohohohohoho!"

He laughed until he couldn't any longer, then it was replaced by a cracked whimper.

It wasn't easy.

It was never easy.

He could never have swung that sword.

"Haaaaaaa….haaahaaa…" Sniffing, he pulled his body back and lowered his hands onto his lap, staring up at his mother through his eyes, feeling his lips pull themselves into an empty smile. "...He really was right…"

He got his answer.

Though perhaps he had always known it.

Pulling himself up, he staggered slightly as he rose, sparing Gwynevere one final look and seeing her expression twisted into shock, still not having spoken a single word. He released a snort and shook his head, still half crazed and kept shaking his head even as he made his way towards the room, the wheeze returning as he left, pausing for a moment to cast a glance to the sword still on the floor.

He retrieved it, dragging it up and staring at it for a moment before wetting his lips, the laughter finally faded, leaving him in silence. His arms dropped to his side, a breath leaving him as he did so and looking to Gwynevere one final time.

"...Sorry."

He didn't know what he was apologising for and he didn't care, the world felt like acid in his mouth but he was compelled to speak it. Much as he hated to.

Because even now…she still had her hooks in him.

…That was that.

Especially for unkindled, they could never forget their past.

No matter how much he wanted to.