Almost Weekly Santa Alter: VII

They had spent well over thirty minutes sledding.

Fifteen minutes and it had ended more or less the same way each and every time, though Ritsuka was under the impression that if he brought it up then it would have been a bad idea. Though he got the feeling that his words would have been low on the agenda when compared to the wide - and dare he say smug - grin that was currently upon the face of the Director as she aimed the look right to the back of Santoria's head.

She was certainly a lot braver than he was, that was for sure.

Awkwardly clearing his throat, the moment he finished it self as though Santoria had whipped around and looked him dead in the eyes, certainly an achievement considering she hadn't so much as moved to face him. Either she had invisible eyes in the back of her head or she was just good at directing her presence, one of the two.

"S-so…what…uhm…what is our next move, Santa?" It wasn't what he had intended to ask and it showed with how strained his voice became as he spoke, regardless he asked it now and there was no going back.

"We continue on in much the same path as we have before." To her credit, she didn't sound as though he was that affected by her streak of losses. Though he could see the fire in her eyes when she handed the presents to the other Servants, he genuinely thought she was going to just crush them in her hands before she gave them over.

"There are still those who are in need of the aid of Santa, though we shall soon find them as we continue our progress." There was a short pause before they spoke again. "At the very least, the head elf has demonstrated a capability when it comes to riding through the snow. She and her Master will prove beneficial in the upcoming march."

That sounded like a compliment to him-

Wait.

Her Master?

But didn't that imply-

"What? I was the one riding the sleigh!" Olga blurted out in a tone of voice that was completely aghast and sounded a touch insulted. "I was the one who kept winning all those races. Marie was just there for the sake of filling out the numbers."

"She is a Rider, clearly her skill extended over you in much the same way that Mash's protection extends over my Master." Santoria declared without even a waver in her voice, it was either what she believed or it was an excuse she was going to wear as a means of excusing her loss. Well, given that she was a Servant and Olga was just a regular person he could understand why she might be a little upset. Maybe.

Olga, meanwhile, just sputtered indignantly. "That is completely absurd. This is nothing more than you just finding an excuse because you can't handle the idea that I am better than-"

Santoria stopped walking, then slowly turned around and paced back towards the Director, either through presence or just speed, it worked in silencing the Director before they were virtually nose to nose with Santoria gazing hard into the eyes of the woman. "You have simply misjudged this event, I did nothing more than provide you with a gift for the holidays. Consider it a reward for your efforts thus far, you are granted the taste of victory."

She turned back around and paced away. "Do not drink too deeply from this chalice, else you become drunk off it."

Bringing his hand up, he rubbed the underside of his chin as he glanced in the direction of Olga for a couple of moments, she stood there completely silent and with her eyes pointed straight ahead.

They narrowed a moment later, her arms folded themselves over her chest as she frowned rather deeply before releasing a faint scoff, only just audible were her words as she stomped forwards. "Gift? As if, the least she could do is be graceful in her defeat and just accept that I was better at it than her."

Ritsuka had to fight back a smile as he raised his hand and scratched at his forehead, glancing down and rolling his lips inwards. Turning his head towards Mash and seeing that she was similarly staring at the Director and Santoria with her own amount of confusion before she leaned closer to him and dropped her voice into a whisper. "I don't understand, Senpai. Santa-san said that it was a gift to the Director but it looked as though she was getting more annoyed the more she kept losing and-"

"Mash." He politely raised his hand and waved her down, she paused and furrowed her brows at him. "Just think of it as one of those things that's probably best to take at face value. Besides, if we bring it up I am fairly certain that she'd drag us all the way back to the hill and make us all race again and again until she ended up winning and, fun as that might sound, it's not the sort of thing I would like to spend the next couple of hours doing."

That might have been an exaggeration but the mere fact he could not be sure of it just leant credit to the fact that he figured he had Santoria pegged as a sore loser. The first couple times she called for a rematch just cemented it and the little explanation she gave was nothing more than the cherry on top. Still, he was happy that the Director had enjoyed herself during the race.

It certainly looked as though she had been at least.

He moved on, catching up with the Director and Marie as he did so and falling into step with the two of them, Mash coming up on his flank with the group of elves plus one deer moving in step behind Santa.

There was silence for a moment before he spoke up. "So I just want to make sure we're all on the same page but this was one hundred percent premeditated, right?" he leaned forwards and looked towards the direction of Marie, the Rider froze for half a second before she immediately whipped her head to look away from him and actually started to whistle in one of the most cliche things he had ever seen in his life.

Something that wasn't lost on the Director if her furrowed brows in the direction of the Queen were any indication, she soon turned from the Servant and back towards him as she let out a huff. "I believe at this point, with the spate of Servant appearances and the fact we are the ones following Arthur, it should have become obvious that your Servants had accomplished this somehow…"

There was a moment of silence before a frown came upon the lips of the Director. "Though how they were able to accomplish this…Da Vinci recorded no loss of a Holy Grail but given her penchant for doing whatever she wants, I am left to assume that-"

"Pharros was instructed to distract the sage so that this would pass beneath her notice." The comment from Santoria had come so swiftly and so suddenly that Ritsuka almost missed it, though he found himself raising his brows in surprise as he turned his focus onto the back of Santoria. "Thus far, given the lack of appearance from said Servant, it would appear as though this was performed amicably."

That…that certainly made sense but at the same time there was still a lot that didn't quite add up for him. "Wait, but how would you create a Singularity in Lapland in the first place? Or was this just something that you all took advantage of?"

Silence for a moment, then Santoria replied. "The answer to that question changes nothing. Whether this was a product of chance or an act of planning, we now walk the land of Christmas itself and spread cheer to the boys and girls who reside here. Though I shall confess that my inspiration was born of a certain note I received not long after I dedicated myself to assuming the name of Santa."

Chuckling quietly to herself, she refused to elaborate and instead switched topics. "As things stand, I am awarding you with this token knowledge that this Singularity is neither the product of the Holy Grail nor of the Gods. You are free to think of it however you wish and may take comfort in the knowledge that the moment we depart, it shall cease to exist."

Well, that was sort of comforting to him.

Shrugging his shoulders, he placed his hands on his hips and nodded along with the explanation. Only just managing to catch the double take that Olga sent his way, he turned to her and raised an eyebrow in confusion. He could probably tell she was a bit upset at not getting an answer but it didn't really bother him all that much. "Hey, whether they planned all of this or not. I'm just happy I get to celebrate Christmas like this at all. So far I've had a snowball fight and gone sledding, both while dressed as an actual reindeer."

Turning away from the Director, he looked up to the sky. "I've even gotten to see the Northern Lights in person. So I would say that this has definitely been right up there with my favourite Christmas…probably in the runner for being the very best, even away from home so…whether everyone got together and planned this or they just saw the Singularity and rushed in without saying a word, I'm happy about all of this and wherever it leads, I'll be fine with the surprise."

Another beat of silence. "Also I don't know what Christmas used to be like around Chaldea but I'm happy to be here to share it with all of you. I'm a little bit sappy about all of that…heck, just being here for Christmas at all…" he didn't need to finish the sentence, bringing his hand up and rubbing the underside of his nose and sniffling.

It wouldn't surprise him if other Servants were out there and planning some sort of party for them which Santoria was leading them towards.

"...I…suppose the celebration of passing a landmark event such as Christmas is cause for an achievement." Olga remarked after a moment, he turned to her and watched as she fiddled with the collar of her outfit for a brief moment and was directing her eyes away from him. "B-besides, I have never been one to celebrate holidays such as this but I shall admit that thus far it has not been an entirely…unpleasant experience. Despite of the numerous rule violations that it's dubious existence implies-"

"Hmph." A scoff from Santoria. "To live for Christmas is to live in the moment. Cast aside your other woes and devote yourself fully to this role. You are no longer Director of Chaldea in my eyes. You are nothing more than an elf under the command of Santa." turning their head, he looked the Director dead in the eyes before sweeping their gaze over all of them. "The same for all of you. Previous identities mean nothing, all are equal before Santa Claus. Think nothing of it and simply live for the holiday now. Return to your woes after the celebration has passed but do not spoil the cheer with your qualms now."

He felt a little bit cheeky. "Whatever you say, Santa." a touch of a smirk on his lips as he nodded back to the Servant, their eyes lingered on him for a moment longer before they turned back around without uttering another word.

It might have been overly complicated and a bit in your face, but she was basically just telling them to forget about it all and just have fun. She was certainly getting into the role of Santa, if a little more blunt and slightly intimidating than he would have been expecting otherwise.

Scary Santa.

Something vibrated and he quickly pulled up his arm at the same time he noticed the Director do the exact same thing, the both of them shared a look at the other before turning their eyes onto the communicators that were now vibrating. With a shrug, he activated his own and soon enough the face of Romani appeared with a noticeable strain to it.

"Alright so you've got several Servants incoming with Saint Graphs we have encountered before with the addition of a super large lifeform with excessive amounts of magical energy." There was a moment of complete silence before Romani decided to simplify it. "You've got Servants approaching you accompanied by a dragon."

His expression blanked as he stared at the doctor, then he turned his head to stare at the Director once more, watching her complexion turn as white as the snow around them and blink profusely, then whipping her head towards the Rider and staring at her with an expectant expression.

Marie's growing grimace only served to confirm the words of the doctor and he felt a lump start to build up within him. The only thing that he found less than worrying was that Romani said it was Servants they had encountered before, which might have meant that it was individuals they had met on their travels. Combined with the reading of a dragon, it could mean that Faraam was now approaching them as well.

That being said…

His lips tightened as he looked the doctor in the eye "It's not Faraam approaching, is it?"

Romani's lips rolled inwards and he slowly shook his head from side to side. "You've got about a minute before they're on top of you so I would recommend you prepare yourself. Though there is some good news in the fact that we're picking up Tamamo-cat's signature among them!"

Just like that, he felt the tension bleed away from him for only a moment before he realised something else. "Is she being held hostage?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Isn't this basically a mandated plan or something?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, Romani blinked at him twice before a look of panic overcame his face, perhaps at being ratted out like that. Though he quickly brought his hand up and waved the doctor down as he spoke. "I'm not asking for details or anything, just let me know if there is something to be worried about or not. You're saying that Tamamo-cat is with them and is she unharmed?"

A slow nod from the doctor.

"Alright then." He glanced towards the direction of Olga and tilted his head. "That's cause for calm, right?"

She didn't look quite as comforted as he did but she begrudgingly nodded her head up and down, the blood slowly returning to her features. Her eyes snapping to the sky and narrowing as she visibly tensed herself, taking a half step behind Marie and placing the Rider protectively in front of her.

Mash leaned in from the side and stared at the doctor. "You have not answered Senpai's question yet, though. Is Cat-san unhurt?"

Romani's expression strained for a moment, clearly fighting back the effort to answer. Ritsuka saw the exact moment that the fight left the eyes of the doctor, who slumped into the chair a moment later and leaned forwards, placing his hands against his forehead and exhaling. They mumbled something he couldn't quite make out before speaking up a little louder. "She's more or less, fine. I've been keeping her readings ever since she first joined up with this group to make sure nothing happened to her and to warn you if anything did. There have been no deviations in her life readings and no sign she is in danger. Basically they're just flying towards you…" the hesitation came back as he dropped his eyes onto the table and looked a little apprehensive about speaking further. "Though, there might be a slight problem for you when they arrive."

He found himself leaning backwards and raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever for?" Marie asked with clear confusion. "If they are approaching with one of our allies and have not harmed them, then wouldn't it make sense for them to be stray Servants who have appeared to celebrate the spirit of Christmas?"

Romani's expression only cringed deeper. "W-well, you're not wrong about them wanting to celebrate Christmas but I…I think there's going to be a conflict of interests here."

The confusion remained, in fact it was only growing in size the longer this conversation went on. "Just give it to us straight Romani, what is the problem and why is there going to be a conflict of inter-"

A roar split through the sky, one that he could feel in his very bones, it was as though all other sounds of the world gave way for this single bellowing howl which swept across the sky. His body locked up instantly and a sense of insignificance washed over him, a darkness fell upon him for all of a second before it swept past, then the gust of wind smashed into the snow and kicked up a blizzard right into his face.

Bracing himself, he brought up his arms to cover his face - cutting off the communication as he did so - at the same time that the others similarly let out gaps of surprise of their own, the pelting of snow lasted for a fraction of a second, Mash stoop before him with her shield raised and blocking the remainder of the snow.

Then the world trembled, much like an earthquake which had him staggering from side to side as something landed, or so he assumed. Snapping his head up and around the side of Mash only to freeze in place as he stared at the shape that greeted him, one he had indeed seen before but it was one that he would never not be awed by. The dragon of deep purple scales stared down at him, stood on its hind legs like a dinosaur with all four of its wings splayed out on either side in a clear display of intimidation.

Falling forwards, the dragon landed on its upper legs with another quake of the earth, a deep growl permeated from the great beast as it's head swept over each and every single one of them before finally landing upon Santoria, the head then cocked itself to the side as though it wasn't quite sure what it was looking at. Taking in a clear and deep sniff of the air before puffing dark smoke from its nostrils.

It wasn't quite as big as Fafnir but that didn't make it any less intimidating, feeling a lump in his throat force its way down his gullet as he found his words to speak. Or he thought he might have been able to, at least until the dragon threw its head back and unleashing another roar which was greater than the first by far, he dropped down and covered his hands over his ears, it was as though his whole body vibrated with the noise for the duration it lasted, then it fell silent but the ringing remained in his ears.

Pulling his hands from his ears, he adjusted himself and glanced in the direction of the others. Sure enough, they were just as affected as he was. He could feel the unease coming from Mash as she stood with shield ready, likewise when his eyes turned to the Director and Marie he found himself rather bewildered by the sudden sight of Marie sitting atop a glass horse with a spear in her hand, a long silver weapon with a three pronged head, a central blade flanked by two smaller curving ones at the base of it.

The only one who looked reasonably uncaring was Santoria, though when she brought up her right hand and wiped at her ear, all he could feel was a great sense of annoyance as though she had been inconvenienced by the sound and little else. Pulling her hand from her ear and letting out a sigh of irritation before speaking crisp and clear.

"Where is your owner? Who are they to dare stand between Santa and the children on Christmas day?"

Silence followed her demand, the dragon merely stared in silence before it unleashed a huff that sounded much like annoyance.

He figured that-

"So swift you humans are to dismiss me as little more than some brainless grunt who breathes flames at the behest of another." He instantly froze at the tone of voice, the same intellectual words and carried, the use of words and everything else. Despite the deep gravity to the voice, nearly everything else remained more or less the same. There was no doubt it came from the dragon before them. "My ward shall be along soon enough."

The dragon took another sniff of the air before their head gradually turned and locked itself onto him. Their posture straightened out considerably before they took in another deep huff. "And you…there is a scent about you, human, that is almost…nostalgic. Though it would have been many an eon since it last caught my nose. For now I shall let it lie."

He stared at the dragon in silence, something it clearly noticed as it let out another deep chuckle.

"Ah, I see. You have been spoiled by my brethren who are incapable of speech…you misunderstand. They have the talent, just never the need. I lived many a century in the home of the pygmies, to go such an Age without learning to speak with them would have been foolish beyond words." A moment of silence before they inclined their head to the side, seemingly in thought, then added on at the end.

"Besides, I doubt my blood-sister would have found it welcoming to speak with one who could commune with only grunts and snorts, for such things she would have been better to find a dog…and I am no common mongrel."

Santoria scoffed. "You certainly bark loud like one, or am I to assume those howlings of yours were nothing more than the singing of carols in greeting?" shaking her head from side to side, she leaned onto her right and then continued on without ever showing an ounce of hesitation. "No, you are here at the behest of another. Delay us if you shall, but do not dismiss the notion that you are here only to keep us from departing, like the hound who moves with the hunter."

Ritsuka stared at the back of her head, utterly dumbstruck by the words she had just uttered and then snapped his eyes towards the dragon once more. He expected some manner of rather violent response, instead he was rewarded with a faint huff of amusement from the dragon as it leaned back onto its hind legs and perched itself like a dog.

"A bold crossbreed you are, blood-sister. Though I merely act at the whims of my ward, it has been long since she spread her wings and soared and if this is how she would spend her time, then I can offer her this much freedom. I would accept any insult you would fling at me with pride."

"Then there is nothing further for us to discuss, merely to await the arrival of this ward of yours and then speak with them." Santoria declared, then turned around to face them, her expression devoid of emotion. "Prepare yourself, my loyal underlings-I mean my precious elves and reindeer."

She definitely said something outrageous there.

Whatever the case, he just folded his arms over his chest and nodded his head, then glanced towards the dragon for a couple of moments. Pursing his lips, he leaned to the side and then called out to them. "Just…Can I ask you something quickly?"

"You may speak, Pygmy."

"Do you remember us?"

"If you refer to a bizarre dream I held where I was named Houshou and my ward took on the name of some manner of human from the distant past, then charged you down in the streets before being bombarded by some manner of projectile weapon…then no. I have no recollection of you in the slightest."

He slowly turned his head from side to side, scanning the reactions of the others before bringing them back to the dragon. Though there was another thing, he could have sworn he knew their name but he just wanted to make absolutely certain about it.

"Just to clarify, your name is Midir, yes?"

Midir rumbled in agreement with his question. "I am the Eternal Guardian of the Ringed City, The One Who Stands At the End of Time, Who watches Eternal over the Slumbering Princess and who consumes the Abyss which threatens creation."

…He would have been satisfied with a yes, but those were some rather impressive sounding titles. Bringing up his right hand, he offered the dragon a thumbs up as he nodded his head up and down towards them. "Thanks, just wanted to make sure…"

Darkeater Midir, the one that Ash had told him about and the dragon which he had personally slain. One of two or a couple more, Ash never really specified on the number, just that he had slain more than one dragon before. So really, there was quite a high chance that they knew one another. Fortunately Ash wasn't here, else he was worried this meeting would have gone very differently.

They had a habit of running into people Ash had killed, now that he thought about it.

Though there was the matter of something about Midir striking him as disturbingly familiar, something he couldn't quite put his finger on but whenever they spoke he just felt unease. Their voice sounded intelligent but there was a subtle sharpness to it, less refined than he would have expected it to be for some reason.

Weird.

His eyes roamed upwards.

He blinked once.

Then twice.

Dropping his arms down to his side, he stared up at the sky. "...What in the…?"

His words probably attracted the attention of everyone else, though it did nothing to alter the confusion that now permeated around them. To say nothing of the expression that was doubtless on the face of Santoria, though he could not see it the way in which her posture just loosened and her head snapped to the sky was a surefire way of telling she was seeing exactly what they were seeing.

And what they were seeing was a sleigh being pulled by wyverns and a single flying horse right at the head of the formation. Gliding through the sky as well as it could and racing right towards them, his eyes danced between Midir and the sled several times before he found himself raising a single finger and pointing it towards the rather impossible sight, impossible because he knew what he was standing next to and he was now staring at the exact same thing right in the sky.

Santa Claus.

Or…as close as they could probably get to Santa Claus.

"What is this…?" The hushed whisper from Santoria was downright menacing, as though she was personally insulted by whatever she was seeing. It made him shudder just a bit and almost stepped back right up until her hand abruptly shot backwards and clamped down around his shoulder, dragging him forwards and through the snow before releasing him as he now stood next to her. "You will remain by my side, Rudolf. Such is your place."

The sled closed in on them, more detail coming into light and he found himself furrowing his brows as he caught sight of the passengers. They didn't exactly look all that festive to him but his eyes landed solely on the person who was leading them, then glanced to the individual at his left and then back to the driver. Even at this distance, he could make out some basic similarities between the two of them. Namely the blonde hair and the black armour.

With a crack of the reins, the sleigh started to dip towards them before it turned, the mounts made landfall and carried their burden through the snow before grinding to a halt, directly between them and Midir, the sled itself position side on to them and directly before them.

Five figures were awkwardly bundled into the sled, though he found himself staring at the first as they turned their head towards him and narrowed their eyes just a touch. Though their eyes of the blonde woman did not linger on him, instead they did so on Santoria to his left before they drifted away from her and towards those just over the right side of his shoulder, namely the direction of the Director and Marie.

"Ho?" Releasing an intrigued noise, the darkly armoured woman rose up from the drivers position and turned to face them, thick plate armour covered her body of an obsidian colour, a short skirt of sharpened metal around her waist and an angled chest plate, they stepped over the top of the sleigh and dropped down to the ground. "I sense you from a distant dream in a land such as this…a dream that ended pleasantly. Yet when I look upon that steel in your eyes, I see only proof that it was no distant dream but perhaps a fleeting memory."

His eyes widened just a touch.

The King Arthur of the Scandinavia Singularity.

His eyes drifted up to the sled and he found himself furrowing his brows as he stared at the next figure, leaning back and tilting his head to the side as he stared at the next armoured knight to rise up. "Arkon?"

"Hm?" The Knight turned on him in a moment and then visibly jolted. "You know of Captain Arkon? I see, then lady Cat did not speak falsehoods after all. That is a relief to hear, I always wondered what became of the Captain after I departed. It's nice to hear that he became famous enough to earn a ranking within the Throne. Then again, given he was one of the few Silver Knight to slay a dragon with his own two hands with no aid-"

The brunette cleared her throat rather loudly, sending a pointed look at the knight which all but screamed at him to stop speaking. After a moment, the woman turned towards them and then raised her hand in an almost cordial fashion as she leaned onto the seat. "Good afternoon there, distant travellers. Pleasure to see some familiar faces again after what I suspect has been some time…though I'm not quite the best to ask about such things."

Her eyes snapped to him and narrowed just a touch, but he couldn't feel any aggression from her. "And who is this young man dressed in…such a fascinating attire." the wood creaked as she rose up, then kicked off with a rumble and flipped twice through the air before landing down, the amazonian looking woman leaned back, placing her hands on her hips. "I have to say, this newfound human clothing is rather more colourful than I expected. So many different patterns…"

Further dialogue was interrupted by a blur of orange fur leaping up from the back of the sled and throwing itself towards them. Ritsuka tensed for half a second before he found himself looking at the grinning face of Tamamo-cat with a brown paper bag clenched firmly between her teeth, landing in the snow on all fours and then staring at him with wide excited eyes before she bounded towards him like her namesake suggested, reaching him rather quickly and then shooting back up to her feet and making a pleased sound.

A moment later, she pulled the bag from her mouth and all but thrust it into his hands, very nearly causing him to fumble and drop it. He managed to catch it at the last moment and then pulled it back up, staring at Tamamo-Cat for a few moments with wide eyes before he relaxed, nodding to her silently and then pulling the bag open and gazing inside of it.

"Oooh! Pastries!" His exclamation earned him the sudden attention of everyone around him as he reached inside and pulled out the first one. He knew what a cinnamon swirl was, though he hadn't actually seen one before. "Where did you get these from?"

"Fufufu!" Puffing out her chest and placing her paws on her hips, Tamamo-Cat leaned backwards and let out a rather smug noise as a sly grin came upon her face. "I will have you know that this certain Cat made them herself-wan!" she waved her paws directly into his face. "Now! Gorge yourself on the sweet treats that are utterly purrfect!"

She made them?

He looked at her paws for a moment and then towards the pastry, giving it a once over and finding no sign of hair of any kind. With a shrug, he bit into it without much hesitation, pleasantly surprised by the gentle crunch of the flaky baked good and the faint taste of cinnamon which entered his senses. It was actually rather delicious and the fact he wasn't spitting out hair immediately was a genuine surprise.

"Well?~" He blinked as Cat leaned forwards with a raised eyebrow, a look of certainty on her face that was impossible to miss. They both already knew what she was going to ask, still he could indulge her with that much.

"They're very good, Cat." The reply was met with a proud but self assured smile, complete with the confidence of one who just declared an absolute truth of the universe. It would seem that she knew how good she was and the fact he was finding this out now rather than earlier made him feel a little bad. Especially because it had been her paws which kept her out of the kitchen in the first place. "...I assume you would like to be added to the kitchen staff-"

"Yes!"

She was right in his face, paws gripping at his shoulders-

"Ahem."

The clearing of someone's throat brought his focus to the last of the figures, dark grey hair and rather youthful, the girl who appeared to be either his own age or Mash's - perhaps a touch younger but he couldn't tell - stared at them with clear suspicion from their spot on the back of the sled, her hands folded over her chest and her golden eyes narrowed just a touch. Clad in a white dress, she let out a brief huff before bringing up her hand and snapping her fingers.

Midir rolled his head and moved forwards, inclining himself towards the young girl and allowing her to step onto his forehead while she remained virtually unmoved. Not once tearing her gaze from them as the dragon lowered their head to the ground and allowed the girl to step off and into the snow, visibly shivering for a brief second before adjusting herself.

"So you are the one who claims the mantle of Santa Claus?" The words of the very obvious Goddess were full of dismissal, her eyes roamed up and down Santoria for a moment before they shot her a rather cocky grin. "Hmph. I was expecting something far more impressive than a child in dressup. Not to mention the circus that walks in step with you…It is clear now that the only one befitting for the title of Santa Claus is myself."

Ritsuka stared, then blinked twice.

Both Artoria's let out similar groans of exasperation as they turned to the Goddess with unimpressed looks, the older of the two speaking first. "We have discussed this at length, especially now given who has claimed the title of Santa. It should come without surprise that I alone am the one who is deserving of the title. Especially given that I have put more effort into the work…though the costumes are of some decent note for the sake of appearances."

The Lancer Artoria turned back to them, her eyes lingered on them all for a moment before she grunted once. "They shall serve me well, when I deal with this pretender."

"Ho?" Santoria let out a noise as she tilted her head. "Such bold words for one who puts in only the bare minimum effort. Setting aside whatever twisted reflection you might be, there is the undeniable fact that you are unworthy of the title of Santa." she waved her hand dismissively. "Even gazing upon you is proof of that. You have no elves, there are no reindeer who serve you…there is not even a hat upon your head."

A moment of silence, then Santoria released an amused huff. "Unless you believe that Sanata arrives at the homes of children while adorned in plate steel and accompanied by what amounts to thugs, teenagers and their pet lizards."

He coughed into his hand and turned his head to the side, trying to hide the smile which might have also been more of a gasp of shock depending on how one looked at it. Mostly shock for the words Santoria was speaking. It also let him see that both Olga and Marie were looking rather nervous, the latter in particular had not removed her eyes from the direction of the Lancer Artoria.

"And you claim any different?" A scoff from Lancer Artoria Alter - he would need to find some other way of saying that much shorter - brought his attention back to her, now wearing a curl on her lips. "Or do you intend to convince me that Santa would walk brandishing a blackened Holy Sword? No. The title of Santa lies not with appearance, it lies with intention and capability. As it stands…I am greater than you."

"You don't have any cute outfits though!" The strong words of challenge came from Marie, the Rider urging her mount forwards with the spear in hand, though now loosely pointed down to the ground rather than at any state of alertness. "Being Santa is about making the children and everyone else feel warm and jolly at Christmas! Showing up like that with a bunch of wyverns and a dragon is just going to scare them!"

The Silver Knight turned and looked over his own group before looking back to them, despite having the same voice as Arkon it was as though his was just more upbeat. "She's right, we are a rather frightening looking group. I mean, comparing the two of us I would definitely say that-"

He trailed off as the Goddess shot him a baffled look. "Why are you trying to undermine us!? Who are you loyal to, Ledo!?"

The now named Ledo raised both his hands in surrender. "It is nothing in regards to loyalty, Princess Filianore. It is just to do with being honest. I'd rather not lie…" he waved a hand towards Midir. "He wasn't selected to guard the Ringed City because he had a chipper personality…" a beat, then he turned to the dragon. "No offence."

Midir snorted loudly, a noise like a car engine. "There is no offence to speak the truth, and speak the truth he does, Princess." the dragon turned on the Goddess. "I shall be the first to admit that while they do bare resemblance to an ensemble troupe, they are at least in line with what we know of the holiday compared to our own assortment of Knights, dragons and some manner of flying horse."

Filianore turned on the dragon and hissed at them "Shut up! You're not helping! You're supposed to help me!"

A sigh. "I never said I wouldn't help you, I am merely asking that you examine their appearance and understand why it is that they would be more welcome for this festival. Beyond this sled, our own efforts have been less than ideal in becoming 'Santa' as you refer."

"Y-yeah!" Marie chimed in once more, pointing in the direction of Midir with newfound triumph. "What they said! Christmas is about getting together and having fun! Fighting over the title of Santa runs counter to that!"

"Marie-san is correct!" Mash now stepped up and Ritsuka glanced in her direction at the determination in her voice. "Besides, if it is about the appearance of Santa Claus, then everyone would fall short of what the imagined image is! But that doesn't matter! I've had fun with Christmas so far and if it is about giving presents to the good children, then I cannot think of someone who has done more than Santa Alter!"

Ritsuka could have sworn that Santoria actually preened at the words Mash spoke.

Silence.

Santoria turned around, her eyes darting between him and the Director with clear expectations in her pale yellow orbs.

Oh, she wanted him to say something to support her as well?

Alright then.

"Yeah, Santoria might be rather intimidating at times and is probably one of the scariest Santa's I have ever met before in my life." He internally winced at how it was sounding so far, he was just speaking from the heart at this point. "But I can say that she has really embraced the Christmas spirit beyond the fact she's wearing a hat and a really cool outfit! Christmas is about bringing everyone together and I would say it's doing that right now! Even you! You've all come together for the holidays as well, haven't you?"

He let his words settle before he continued on. "But Santoria is definitely committed to the role…but I've got nothing against other people wanting to be Santa because it's all in the spirit of Christmas. We can all be Santa if we want."

More silence.

Then Santoria raised an eyebrow at him for a brief moment before she turned to the other Artoria's group. "You heard him, I am the one who has embraced the tradition of Christmas far beyond the likes of you. My attire is also proof of this."

"Hang on, that isn't what I-"

"And in addition to this, I have mellowed the heart of a frozen elf and ensured she too embraces the spirit of Christmas."

That got the Director to speak up. "Excuse me!? Frozen elf!? I'm not even an-this is complete and total nonsense. If Santa is the most important then why aren't I Santa? I'm the Director of Chaldea! That is the most important role there is!"

A scoff from Santoria. "You are embracing the spirit of Christmas too much, head elf. Remain in your post."

The noise that the Director made wasn't all that human, nor was the expression she made which was something very reminiscent of the wyverns which currently pulled the sleigh of not Santa. Her steadily reddening features lasted until she threw her head back and swung her arms into the sky, turning around and then pacing away while muttering rather heavily under her breath, not quite able to make out what she was saying but he assumed it wasn't all that polite.

The brunette woman who had mostly remained silently just snickered from her spot, arms folded over her chest and a lopsided grin on her face. "I'm fascinated with how invested you humans can get over something like this. Debates and arguments over something as simple as a name which none owns and is only relevant for a single day. Still, I am enjoying this very much."

"Commentary from you aids nothing, Akal." Lancer Artoria shot off with a side-eye.

The now named Akal merely shrugged her shoulders as though the words just rolled off her. "I'm just here for the festive nature of it all and those humans look decidedly more festive than we currently do. Besides, I know for a fact that Kalameet would be flinging himself right into learning all about the festive nature of humans if he were here himself." A moment later, the woman snorted to herself and closed her eyes. "He likely would have been trying to organise his own holiday at the same time."

"The inclinations of Kalameet are not my concern." Lancer Artoria dismissed with a wave of the hand. "I shall not comment upon what he would or would not have done, he is not here and has thus far failed to materialise."

Ritsuka pointedly decided that remaining silent was the best thing forwards, if the Director's nameless Berserker was who he thought it was, then that wasn't his secret to start spreading around. Keeping his lips tight and placing his hands on his hips, rocking back and forth on his heels before he cleared his throat. "So, just answer me this…why are you even arguing over whether or not you're Santa in the first place?"

Lancer Artoria merely stared at him blankly for a good few seconds as though he had said something stupid.

"Have you the mind of a fool? Through the fact it is Christmas alone do I claim the title of Santa Claus." Lancer Artoria declared imperiously, clearly not put off by the argument thus far and instead doubling down. He had to give it to her, she sounded very serious about the whole thing and he suspected it was a lack of resources that was stopping her from appearing in front of him with the same sort of outfit as Santoria. "Santa is the figure of greatest importance in the modern world, thus I would claim the title of it. He is the one who travels the world and dispenses gifts to the deserving."

They gestured to themselves. "I travel the lands and dispense boons to those who recognise my power."

Santoria exhaled loudly. "This argument has exceeded the point where I considered it novel. I shall now consider it an insult. Be you of my own nature or not, I shall tolerate none who stand in the path of Santa and their journey." she stepped forwards and brandished Excalibur rather menacingly. "You may call yourself whatever you will, though your actions are more befitting of a Grinch than any true herald of the holidays."

Lancer Artoria's eyes narrowed considerably, Ritsuka could feel his heart rate spike at the sudden tension which flooded. If it were possible, he was sure the pair of Servants would have been shooting sparks at the other with how hard they were glaring at the other. His eyes jumped around for some sort of escape before they landed on the diminutive Goddess who was caught between staring at the two Servants with a raised eyebrow and a slightly annoyed look.

Her eyes met his.

"So why do you want to be Santa?" He blurted out to the Goddess with a forced smile, probably a little too wide if her sudden recoil from him was any indication. It worked in that the tension diminished just a touch after posing the question.

"W-well, it is obvious that Santa is a figure of great importance!" The Goddess recovered quickly, then puffed her chest out before pointing to herself. "And as the only true Goddess here, it should naturally fall unto me to be declared the rightful holder of the mantle. Especially because I was one worshipped by a great many, just as this Santa Claus is…tis the only logical step, no?"

Furrowing his brows, he brought his hand to rub his head as he tried to make sense of the sentence.

"Umm…W-while I would say that Santa is a very important figure in modern celebrations." Mash hastily spoke up, sounding about as unsure as he felt. "I do not believe that he would be worshipped in the same way as a Divine Spirit just as yourself would be…I think it is less worship and more…uhm…quiet faith?"

Filianore blinked, lowering her arms to her side and then tilting her head, her expression awash with confusion. "Elaborate on your words, young girl. You speak of faith in a single being but how could that not be worship? If there comes the belief in the power and charity of this being, how then might they differ from the worship of a God? What is a humans faith in Santa - what is their reverence in the one named Claus - if not an act of religion?"

Opening and closing his mouth, he found himself unable to answer the question. Not because it was difficult, but because it was just so out of left field that it was like it had turned into a person and then landed a one-two punch right into his chin and left him there, all dazed and confused.

"That is not the faith that is bestowed upon Santa Claus." The Director was the one who answered, having returned from wherever she stomped off. "It is the belief of this omniscient being who somehow makes their presence clear every holiday and encourages the good behaviour of children with the promise of material rewards should they behave themselves. He is more of a moral guardian than a God."

Ritsuka shrugged. "They're pretty much a charitable person who gives out toys and stuff to children for being good. It's like…uhm…additional incentive? Or like recognising that they have done their best they can do while also being this sort of…moral force." he waved to the Director, jumping onto whatever she had been saying. "Like…like the law!"

Filianore furrowed her brows. "Santa Claus is the law of the land made flesh?"

"No! No he's…he's the…he's the thing that makes sure children behave themselves or…well, I guess you could say it's just something people can come up with when they just want to keep the magic of Christmas." With a shrug, he brought his hand up and rubbed his cheek. "It's just all in good fun at the end of the day. Sure, you're handing out presents to people for being good but at the same time it's just a big celebration for everyone to get around. Santa isn't so much a person as he is Christmas…being jolly and celebrating the good times."

The Goddess remained silent before speaking again. "Then the title of Santa is not so much for the authority it wields but the responsibility to ensure that the holiday is met with joy and cheer? That all those who gather under the banner of Christmas are met in good health and with a bounty of rewards for their long struggles through the year but keeping true to themselves?"

He understood some of those words, enough that he felt like he could answer.

"Yeeees."

Filianore remained silent, then nodded her head up and down before a split across her features and she leaned backwards, gesturing to herself. "In that case, it is all the more reason that I should be crowned the Santa of this year! I was much beloved by all those in the Ringed City, they would worship me and strive to do their oaths true. When faced with one who received naught but the blessings of the eternal city, who might compare?"

Silence.

Then Ledo raised his hand. "When we say 'all those in the Ringed City' do we include those who tried to invade it and were corrupted by the tainted Dark into insane monsters who sought to kill anything and everything that crossed their line of sight?"

Ritsuka was certain someone could have dropped a pin and they would have all heard it.

"...No. We are not counting those. Do not speak again unless I tell you to."

Ledo visibly deflated but nodded his head all the time, turning away from the Goddess and staring down towards the snow as though he was a child or something.

Shaking his head, he looked across the group once more before speaking again. "So, just to clarify, we're all in agreement that Santa isn't really a title as much as it is just about the spirit of Christmas?"

Santoria made a noise. "Hardly. It is without question that I am Santa here, these others are just pretenders. Given that I alone am the one who dresses for the role."

"If all that separates us is a mere change in attire, then I shall merely take that cloth from you and adorn myself in it." Lancer Artoria replied back without even missing a beat.

Santoria frowned. "A futile effort, you would need to pull this cloth from my cold dead hands."

Lancer Artoria went to reply, they paused for only a moment as their pale yellow eyes narrowed. Looking Santoria up and down for a moment before they lowered their gaze onto themselves and made a small and rather disappointed noise, soon bringing their head back up and speaking. "Perhaps you are correct in the futility of the effort. All that would fit me correctly would be the hat. I suspect I would be too large for the rest of the outfit."

"...What did you just say?"

"Oooooh!" Tamamo-cat burst into the conversation for the first time in a while, paws covering her mouth as she jumped forwards, whipping her head between Santoria and Lancer Artoria Alter several times before she spoke up. "She just called you a washboard-wan!"

Ledo coughed out a laugh before stifling it.

Santoria made a noise. "Nonsense, she refers only to our different vertical statures, and a simple difference in height means nothing for the outfit-"

"It is not the height that concerns me." Lancer Artoria Alter drove the nail into the proverbial coffin and left little doubt as to what she was referring to. "I am simply more developed."

He slowly turned to Mash and leaned towards her, dropping his voice into a whisper. "So how has Christmas been going for you?"

She looked at him oddly and then opened her mouth.

She didn't get far before a rumble like thunder went off in the distance, Ritsuka whipped his head towards the direction of the noise and narrowed his eyes. Not a single cloud was in the sky, yet the thunderous booms persisted. He all but ignored the conversation and stalked forwards in the direction of the sound for a few steps before narrowing his eyes.

Another rumble then a flash across the horizon before silence.

That didn't seem right.

"New plan, settle Santa problems later." He brought up his hand, pointing in the direction of the distant booms. "For now, I want to know who the heck is starting all those fireworks."