Chapter 14 - Year 3, part 3

January 3rd, 1994

All of that year's Gryffindors hurried into the Defence against the dark arts classroom, as the door opened in front of them. This class had easily become their favourite one of the Gryffindors, as they (finally) had a competent teacher who was good at teaching them what they needed to know, in a way that they understood.

Also, most of the girls of the school swooned over Lupin. Not that she was one of them, but she could see the appeal - as long as it wasn't around a full moon. In that case he was horrendously moody to be around.

Hah… Moody. She inwardly chuckled at her own pun knowing that moony would be exactly that. Moody Moony.

Don't even think about touching his chocolate, or you could possibly be in for a sneer that Sirius of all people would refuse to handle. He must have learned his lesson somehow, Hermione thought to herself.

As she and Harry sat down at their table, Hermione carefully opened the note she had been given by Draco as they left Potions.

Sit with us in Arithmancy?

"Is that your… friend?" He put emphasis on the word, and she knew that it was because he still hadn't found out who it was. "I thought she stopped talking?"

She snickered up at him, mockingly, "We didn't, but now we do. So, yes."

"One day I'm going to find out who it is." Harry said teasingly, while taking out his books.

"Sure, you will, Harry." She said, knowing full well that it would be a damn while before he did.

"Bet you one galleon that I'll know within one month." He said, tapping his pocket where she knew he was hiding the marauders map that he got from Fred and George the last time he got detention.

"Sure, Harry." Let him believe what he wants. She had no plans of him finding out any time soon.

Luckily, it wasn't all Gryffindors that were as contemptuous against Slytherins and her friends seemed to be on the positive side of the line, but there was still some animosity among them. It was only natural - and people like Blaise Zabini weren't helping.

So, all in all, while her friends might be positive or neutral about her friendship with the two Slytherins, now just wasn't the time to throw it into the mix.

She had way too much on her plate as it was.

"Alright, everyone! Grab your bags - we're going out!" Remus called as he excited his office and went to the door while the students gathered their stuff.

She was engulfed by the smell of old books and dust as they arrived in the library a short while later. Here, a couple of bookcases had been moved around to make more room for them.

From where they stood in the middle of the room, she could see the table where she usually sat. Only, it was occupied.

Draco's grey eyes found hers instantly, as everyone found a place to stand, where they could all see Madam Pince's desk.

"Now, this morning a boggart appeared under Madam Pince's desk, and I asked the headmaster to leave for you to have some hands-on experience. Can someone tell me what a boggart is?"

They spend the next fifteen minutes talking about what was, and what wasn't a boggart. How you could remove it and how it would react once you tried.

They practised the incantation, and then it was time.

Hermione was scared out of her mind as she went to the back of the line, with Harry standing right behind her, and people went to take on their fears.

She didn't even know what she was most scared of.

There were no clowns, spiders or snakes in her nightmares. She didn't fear the moon like Remus, or prison like Sirius.

She didn't fear the darkness or what might lie in wait within.

She didn't fear… Maybe it would be a broom?

She was uneasy like never before, and for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why. She wasn't that afraid of anything!

The line shortened too fast and her pulse raced. Even the smell of books wasn't calming her right now.

Neville was right in front of her. It was his turn, and then it would be hers.

"Riddikulus!" He shouted and she saw Bellatrix Lestrange standing right in front of him, now wearing his grandmother's clothes and hat and looking down at herself horrified.

She smiled, until the boggart narrowed in on her and shifted before her very eyes.

The pale, blond boy stood before her, looking at her like she was no better than the dirt under his shoes.

"I can't believe I have to be around someone as stupid as you." Draco snapped; his mouth turned down hard like he was looking at something utterly unpleasant.

"Ri-riddikulus." She whispered, as she grabbed her wand tightly by her side.

"Why would I ever want to be friends with you?" he said, his eyes filled with such hatred as he towered over her. "A witch who's afraid of flying. It's pathetic."

She released a loud sob and gasped, stepping backwards from someone whom she thought was her friend. Someone whom she trusted and had missed so much during the last year and a half. Someone she had only just gotten back, but who had now turned on her.

"Riddikulus!" Two voices shouted as she fell to her knees where she stood, great heaving sobs leaving her as she struggled to breath.

"Hermione!" Someone put their arms around her and she screamed in shock and horror, pushing herself out of their grip and away. "Don't touch me!"

"Hermione, I'm your friend." Draco said almost instantly, and in the back of her mind, she thought he sounded… Panicked… And sad… "I'm your friend and I'm not leaving again, and you're not pathetic. I swear, you're not pathetic at all. You're not stupid! You're smart, and kind and you try so hard to not be afraid of that broom." Her breathing was levelling out as she clutched her robes in a vice-grip. "It's a damn broom and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, Hermione."

As her sobbing turned to soft cries, and her cries turned to hiccups, she suddenly realized where she was.

She gasped loudly, and hid behind her hands like it would somehow make her disappear.

Slowly she peeked out from behind her fingers to look at her surroundings.

Behind her, Harry was watching, in front of her Daniel and Neville were looking on like she had grown an extra head. Draco was looking at her like he might as well be in a thousand pieces scattered on the ground around him. Remus was by the desk, trying to act invisible (and failing) - but everyone else was gone.

"Merlin, I'm so embarrassed." She whispered, mortified.

"Well, I guess I know who your friend is now." Harry said, leaning down to whisper to her, "You owe me a galleon."

She groaned loudly through her hands.

She looked up and saw Daniel and Neville still looking at her in confusion. "I have no idea what just happened." Daniel said.

"You and I both, mate. Let's go get lunch." Neville answered, and then they left with a wave goodbye in her direction.

"He didn't yell at me. I guess that's a good thing." Hermione sighed, looking forward to Draco who was still on his knees in front of her, looking at her.

"Yeah, pretty much. I'm going to lunch. I'll see you there?" Harry said light-heartedly and turned around to leave the library.

Draco and Hermione did nothing but stare at each other as the bookcases were moved into their normal spaces around them, before Remus left as well. It was like everything was back to normal.

What even was 'normal' at this point?

"Can I … Can I hug you?" She finally asked in a low voice, somehow feeling scared for what he would say. He had just seen that he was her biggest fear.

A fear she didn't even know she had.

"Yes." He breathed and opened up his arms again for her to enter into. "Of course." She made her way to him on her knees, and wrapped her arms around his him while his went around her shoulders, holding her into him.

They sat like that for a while with nothing said between them, until Hermione broke the silence.

She had never thought much about hugging Draco Malfoy. But this, this felt right.

Hugging Draco Malfoy, felt like breathing.

"Thank you."

"What for? I'm literally your worst fear." He asked, sounding absolutely gobsmacked.

"Not you in general, just…" Something hit her like lightning from a clear sky. "Draco? What's your Zodiac sign?"

"What's my…" He brought her out to look down at her like she was mad, but that somehow something made sense. "What In Merlin's saggy left ball does that have to do with anything right now?"

She chuckled from the look he was giving her and his language. "It's just…" He was going to think she was actually mad. "No, nevermind, it doesn't matter."

"Okay…" He said slowly before standing up and dragging her with him by the hand. "I just need my stuff and then we can go to lunch."

She stood, waiting patiently for him to collect his books, parchment and quills before they left the library together. They walked in silence for most of the way down until he suddenly stopped, into the middle of a moving staircase, looking at her with big eyes.

"You guys had about zodiacs and predictions, right? That's why you asked?" He asked, big, grey eyes looking as if he had made the revelation of the century.

"Yes." She answered, suddenly breathless.

"Do you remember your prediction?" He asked, and there was no doubt in her mind that he knew what she was about to say.

"Yes."

"What was it?"

The staircase had long since arrived at their destination, but then moved again when they hadn't gotten off. Apparently, they were on their way to Muggle Studies now.

"I'm missing Cancer -" she began and she could see his lips moving as she spoke, but he then finished the sentence for her before she could. " - but I will lose Sagittarius."

She was breathless and her heart was racing faster than it ever had. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do.

"You were missing me… And I was missing you… Merlin, I was such an idiot. I never should have done that to you. I never should have ignored you like that. I should have - I should have -" Hermione walked up to him and stood on the step further up than him, to be more at eye level. She then grabbed his face with both hands to make sure that he wouldn't turn away from her.

"You were absolutely an idiot, and I hated you so much for it - but I'm dealing with it. It's over now. It happened, but it's over now. I forgive you." She shushed, and let go of his face when she was sure that he wouldn't turn away from her.

"But you shouldn't have. I haven't made amends yet." He whispered. "I haven't made myself worthy of your forgiveness yet."

"Then figure out what you need to do, because I've forgiven you. Okay?"

She could see the wheels turning in that big blond head of his as she stepped around him to walk down the stairs. She fisted her hands as she felt them tingle all the way up to the elbows, and wondered if maybe she had touched something during class that she shouldn't have.

January 22th, 1994

Hermione was absolutely knackered. Being away over the holidays had been great for having fun and catching up on her sleep. But now that she was back and her life was back to normal, she was once again feeling the pressure. And she was exhausted.

When she had started using the Timeturner some four months ago, she had known that it wouldn't be easy. But this was beyond anything she could have ever imagined.

She had spent the past half an hour trying to answer Viktor's recent letter, but she was having trouble focusing on the words.

Also, she was slightly perplexed by Viktor.

She had written to him instantly once she had returned to Hogwarts as promised, and he had also answered that letter almost immediately.

She had then answered him that very same day, but hadn't received another answer for almost two weeks.

Logically, she knew that they couldn't always write. They both had school and their respective friends, but she found it odd.

She pushed herself forward onto the desk, crossed her arms and used them as a pillow from where she could watch William and silently judge him for doing just as little as she was trying to do.

"Don't you have better things to do than stare at me like you have plans for my soul, Nene?" He asked, and mirrored her stance, while pushing his advanced Potions book out of the way.

She smirked, "Of course I have plans for your soul, Wills. In fact, I have multiple stored already, right here." She tapped her forehead and smiled wider when William sat up, chuckling.

"Well, let's hear it then. What've you got?"

"It would be no fun if you knew. But don't worry, it won't hurt."

William raised a questioning eyebrow.

"At first." She looked at him, eyes glistening with mischief.

He was looking at her like he knew every single thought that passed through her mind - which, to be honest, he probably did - and shook his head softly, before pushing his potions book further away from him. "Sometimes I wonder why you're not in Slytherin." He muttered in a low voice, but obviously loud enough for her to hear the mirth in his voice.

"I don't." She answered instantly, and picked up his potions book to look through it. William said nothing of it, being very much used to her reading his school books when she got bored.

She slowly browsed through the book, looking at every potion and making a mental note when she found something that might come in handy at some point.

Babbling Beverage… Befuddlement Draught… Deflating Draught… Draught of Peace… Erumpent Potion… Oh, there were just so many interesting potions for fifth years! Everlasting Elixirs… Hair-Raising Potion… Invigoration Draught… Strengthening -

Wait -

She went back a couple of pages until she landed on the Invigorating Draught again.

Hmm… I wonder If that would help with my exhaustion?

"I'll be right back." William suddenly said, and she heard the chair scraping against the stone floor of the quiet library, when he pushed it back. He quickly followed someone around a bookcase that looked suspiciously a lot like Ellinor.

That's awfully convenient… Don't mind if I do!

She quickly wrote down the ingredients and recipe for the potion before shutting the book quietly and pushed it back towards William's seat. Maybe Professor Snape would let her try her look at a more advanced potion, for some extra credit?

She slowly started packing up her stuff, when William came back around the same corner where he had disappeared mere minutes ago.

"How's Ellinor?" She asked, grinning into her backpack as she dumped book after book into it.

"She's fin-" He stopped dead and she could almost see his flaming face like she wasn't standing with her side towards him. "Uhh… I mean… Ehh… Fuck." Then complete resignation. He sighed hard, "She's fine, Hermione."

She looked to the side and up at him, knowing that she had just won a battle that had gone on for so long, that none of them really knew when it had started. "That's good!" She said brightly, "Can I sit with you guys for lunch?" She tried as he packed up, and they headed for the exit to go get something to eat.

"Don't stretch it." He laughed loudly, earning him a proper scolding from Madam Pince as they passed her. If looks could kill.

They walked comfortably into the great hall, where they quickly shared a one-armed hug, before going to each of their tables.

"How's William doing?" Neville asked as she sat down beside him, already eyeing out the different kinds of food she could have for lunch. She could see Yorkshire Puddings a little way down the table, and her mouth watered instantly.

She dried off a wayward drop of drool, before answering with a giggle: "He's good. It's finally getting to him that he's taking his OWL's before long, but he'll get the hang of it in no time."

She heard someone choke on something and turned to the side where Ronald sat, scowling like he had seen something gross. She chose to ignore it completely.

He wasn't worth her time with how he was treating her.

"Yeah, I'm so happy not to be in his shoes." Neville answered, and she couldn't have agreed more.

February 28th, 1994

The potion was working perfectly.

She was currently in her free period just before dinner, spending it with Theo and Draco in the library. Under normal circumstances, she would be knackered by now. Deadly tired and ready to succumb to slumber at any second.

Only, today she wasn't.

She had finished brewing the Invigoration Draught the week prior, but had only had the chance to test it properly on Friday. But today was a success.

She silently wondered how long it would last before she would have to make another batch. A month, maybe two?

"I don't get it." Draco huffed.

"No, it's easy! You just have to add - or, ehh - I mean multiply… I guess… Nevermind, I don't know it either." Theo tried, and failed. She didn't dare tell them that she had solved the problem weeks prior, and simply didn't want to be a know-it-all.

"No, you need to add something - but when I put in any number from one to ten, then it doesn't give me the right answer. It's supposed to equal zero - not 139."

She couldn't help it.

"Did you try adding a letter instead?" If there was one thing she had figured out over the past six months of Arithmancy, it was that more often than not, it was a letter needed in the equation and not a number.

"A letter? Why would I do that?"

"Try it." She teased and looked back down at her letter from Viktor.

Dear Herm-own-ninny, (he couldn't even spell her name correctly)

It is going well. I caught the snitch in a match yesterday - the most important of this season! We are now a part of the World Championship this summer! Will you come and cheer for me?

"But what letter?! This doesn't make any sense!" Draco groaned loudly. Looking up from her letter, she could even see Theo looking down hard at his parchment, brows furrowed hard in concentration. She sighed and stood, coming over to stand between the boys where she could make the equation so that they would both be able to see.

She leaned down between them and used her quill to first write the letter 'A', and then use the tip to point while she spoke. "See; If you put in an A here, then the equation says 'Ax^3' - then add it to the equation you made earlier - exactly - and use Spinner's form - right - what does that give you?"

Draco carefully took the quill from her grip, and wrote '0', before leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.

She stood back to walk around the table again, but was caught off-guard by Draco reaching out towards her.

Yet… He didn't touch her.

His hand simply hovered behind her, just short of touching the small of her back, but still stopping her from walking away.

Something at the back of her mind, noted that with Draco - knowing that it was Draco - didn't give her the mental need of backing away.

She didn't mind him touching her like that - even though he hadn't done so yet.

"Where have you been all my life?" He gushed, looking from the equation and then up at her.

She found herself blushing hard, backing out of where she was sandwiched between Draco and Theo who was probably looking in his book for the reason why she had done it correctly. By stepping back, his hand went flush against the small of her back, and followed the movement of her body as she moved out of his reach.

Even through the fabric of her robes, she could feel goosebumps erupting and spreading from where his hand had momentarily brushed against her.

She blushed even harder and turned around to go back to her seat.

What on earth was wrong with her?

Draco looked to be deep in thought as she sat down opposite him. Maybe he hadn't even noticed that he had touched her? Or maybe even, that she hadn't minded it….

Looking back down on the letter in front of her, she scowled slightly.

Will you come and cheer for me?

Did she? He hadn't answered anything from her last two letters, and hadn't written anything to her for the past month. Did she really want to go cheer for someone, who couldn't even find the time to answer her letters? Or spell her name correctly?

March 1st, 1994

"Today, we'll be covering pregnancy and different kinds of contraceptives." For a room so full of teenagers, she would have expected it to be deadly, embarrassingly, quiet.

The great hall was anything but.

Of course, there were multiple people suddenly inspecting their shoes very thoroughly, but most of all, the room was filled with an excited buzzing.

Six months, this was how long they had all taken the 'Life Class', and she had learned so much. Sure, there were a lot of things that she already knew - like cleaning spells and her knowledge of how the female body worked - but she had also learned about boys' bodies, alcohol and what it felt like to be drunk. To be honest, from what she had learned about alcohol, euphoria-inducing potions and drugs, she could understand why some people got addicted to stuff… But the side effects were so extreme, that she hoped to never, ever, get addicted to it.

She couldn't even start to imagine, needing something to function, and then reacting to not getting it. It was so… strange.

Madam Pomfrey started telling them about contraceptives and though her attention was rapt, she couldn't help but feel relieved that she had already had the sex-talk with her mum that summer. A talk that had also included how to prevent pregnancy and diseases that could be transferred in the act. Until that moment she had thought that she knew everything there was to know… How she had been mistaken.

"... muggle contraceptives for one-time uses like condoms and pessaries, needs to be thrown away afterwards. Then there are implants such as the coils which are placed in the uterus per surgery, and an implant that most likely will be injected into the arm, just under the skin. There is also the pill." Madam Pomfrey pointed to someone behind her, and they asked their question. It sounded like… Hannah Abbott?

"What do you mean… Surgery?"

Madam Pomfrey then went on to explain exactly that, and also went in depth about how each and every form of Muggle contraceptive worked, and why one kind might work better for one person than to another person.

Half an hour later, after having been given a short break, McGonagall clapped her hands to bring silence to the lot.

"Now, onto pregnancy before we end for today. I will say a series of statements, and you will raise your hand if you can agree to the statement. Do only raise your hand, if you are absolutely certain that you can agree. I will not ask you to speak once if you raise your hand - this is merely for us to know how much you know on the subject at hand."

Hermione was surprised by how little she knew. The only thing she did know was 'where babies came from' and that you needed to have menstruation to be pregnant - even though it could happen as early, as right before you actually got it for the first time.

But on statements such as 'I know what ovulation is', 'I know how long one is pregnant' and many others, she was drawing completely blank.

Luckily, she didn't seem to be the only one.

"Good. Now, as we discussed about sex last week, we know how babies are made. Next is carrying the baby until it is ready to be born."

March 25th, 1994

"Is he completely mental?! What the hell is Sirius doing in the castle?!" Hermione seethed while looking at Harry and Daniel, both of whom returned her look and tone of voice with a couple or arms raised in surrender.

"How would we know? It wasn't like we invited him for tea in our dorms in the middle of the night and he just chose to attack Ron." Harry deadpanned, "How do you expect for us to know that he was even near Hogwarts?"

She sat down hard onto the bench and dragged her heavy bag down to rest beside her, "It's your dad, isn't it? I'd expect for you to have some sort of communication."

Of course, she knew that Sirius wasn't Harry's father by blood, but the man was his godfather and had raised him in every aspect of life that he had been able to. Azkaban had been tough on him, that was no secret, but the man had done everything in his power to be a father to his own child once he had gone out, and a surrogate-father to the one who looked like he could have been by his own flesh and blood.

And when Harry sometimes chose to call him 'dad' instead of 'Sirius' - unintentional or not - it felt as natural as calling Hermione his best friend, or Emmeline 'mom'. They were a family, and no one questioned that anymore. More often than not, if people didn't know of the famous Harry potter or the notorious Sirius Black, people just assumed that Daniel and Harry were brothers very close in age.

The only difference being the eyes.

"He obviously didn't tell us." Harry said. He looked at her in annoyance which then shifted into confusion, before he turned to Daniel. "Why didn't he tell us? And why did he go for Ron? Ron's acting like a right prat, but it's not like he's physically hurt anyone. Right?" He turned his focus back to her, implying that maybe he had actually done something to her.

She frowned while shaking her head. She found herself wondering what he might have done, had he known how Ron had treated her.

"You know…" Harry said and frowned so hard in concentration that his eyebrows turned into one singular. "The other night, I was sitting with the map, and it told me that Peter was in Ron's bed while he was also there. I sneaked over to peek in, but it was only Ron… and then the other night I saw him again on the map while he was heading for the kitchen - but he wasn't there…"

"Peter, who?" Neville interrupted, as he sat down beside the trio, asking the same question that Hermione had been burning to ask.

"Pettigrew!" Harry shout-whispered. "It says Peter Pettigrew!"

Harry, Daniel and Neville all gasped at the realization, knowing fully well who the person was. It wasn't someone often named, but they all knew of him and what he had done

But the four children also knew that a lot was being held from them which now meant that they didn't have the full picture.

But what they did know was that Peter Pettigrew had been dead for 12 years.

"There must be a logical reason for this." Hermione started, wringing her brain for a reason. Any reason! "Maybe it's his ghost?"

People started leaving the Great Hall to get to class with the teacher that they were supposed to have, and the four of them followed along for their charm-class - and in Hermione's case, Arithmancy as well.

Hermione put the Time-turner carefully into her shirt and unstopped her flask. She drank greedily, and put the now empty flask into her bag before sighing loudly.

She was exhausted.

Even though she had been drinking the Invigoration Draught pretty regularly, she was still beyond tired. To make matters worse, she found that the effect of the potion was lessening, and she needed more, more often, than in the beginning. In the back of her mind, she knew that it was a problem. But she couldn't stop now.

She just needed to finish the term, and it wasn't like it was a long way now. Just a couple of more months and then she would stop for the summer. It would be fine.

Dragging herself out of the customary bathroom-stall and looking into the hallway for the all-clear. Once she saw Professor Vector pass her with her Arithmancy-class, she quickly slipped out and into the back of the line. When they entered their classroom, she slid into her normal seat at the table next to Draco and Theo. Almost instantly, a piece of paper landed on her desk.

Are you okay?

She lifted a brow in question at the boys. Why wouldn't she be?

Another piece of paper landed and she hurriedly snatched it up before anyone would see. Sirius Black!

Oh, so that's what they were on about. She turned the parchment around and replied just as Professor Vector started handing out the assignments for the day. I'm fine. He's basically my uncle and wouldn't hurt us. Don't know why he's here.

They looked at her oddly, like she was seeing dragons or something, but didn't elaborate further and just went about their work.

Lunch was a quiet affair that day.

Too quiet.

Word had - not so surprisingly - spread around the school like fiendfire across a dried field in the middle of July, that Sirius Black had attacked a student in the middle of the night.

To make matters worse, that also meant that the rest of the school had suddenly decided that being in any form of proximity to Daniel Arcturus Black, meant that you went directly onto some sort of death-list. Directly.

Daniel sat quietly at the table with his hands in his lap and his eyes downcast, as people went around whispering, bullying or sneering at him for merely existing. And he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"Maybe try writing your mum?" Hermione asked in a small voice, not knowing if it would even help. She hadn't seen anything like this before and didn't know what to do…

Was this how people had been around her after the Lockhart-incident? Walking on egg-shells and waiting for her to explode?

"I already did." He said slowly, fiddling with something under the table that she couldn't see. "I asked Professor Flitwick after Charms if he would come with me to the owlery, but he asked if he could just send it himself, seeing as he had some other things to send after lunch. I agreed."

Harry patted his shoulder, "She'll know what to do. We just have to wait for her owl."

"Yeah - that's the issue." Daniel sighed and went back to staring at his empty plate until the time was up and he, Harry and Neville were to go back to their common room for their free period.

Meanwhile, Hermione went to her ancient Runes lesson like she always did after lunch on Fridays.

Like in every other class at the school, the students had their normal seats. But in Ancient Runes, people had somehow gotten thrown together in a mix and then served out with such random partners. How there hadn't been more murder attempts in a class with so many Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws sitting together, was beyond her.

But the oddest thing was how she and Draco had seemed to gravitate towards each other, after having made up before Christmas. It hadn't happened from one day to the next, but more gradually as they had worked their way through different work-partners and concluded that none of them really worked out how they should have.

That was until they had finally met up during an assignment, and left class 30 minutes early, after having finished it in record time.

After that, they had stayed at the same table.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He suddenly whispered to her, as if they hadn't just been a century deep into the history of rune magic and how it could change the laws of blood magic.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" She asked, never removing her focus from the rune-combination that she was trying to translate.

"Because those bags under your eyes have doubled in size since last week and you're always tugging at your shirt like it's annoying you." Unconsciously she grabbed the Timeturner through her robes and tugged at it. "Yeah, exactly like that. If they don't fit you any more, why don't you just get your parents to buy you some new ones?"

He didn't know.

He just thought her robes didn't fit her anymore.

After having fought through blood, sweat and tears all year to get through all of her lessons without getting caught. He just thought her robes didn't fit.

She breathed out a hard sigh of relief, turned to him and flashed him a smile while correcting her clothes. "Yeah, I think I might do that."

He returned her smile with one so warm and full of care that she thought she might actually fall off her chair. She felt her cheeks warm under his attention and turned away quickly, to look down at her runes. Conveniently, her hair fanned down ever so slightly, hiding her face from his view.

What the hell was wrong with her?

April 28th, 1994

It had been two months, and she still hadn't answered Victor's letter. She had the violently petty thought that maybe now he would know what it felt like to wait for an answer only to get nothing in return. In truth, she hadn't been entirely ignoring him, she had just been really, really busy.

She looked down at his last letter, the words 'will you come and cheer for me?' jumping into her eyes like they were written in a different colour than the rest. Until now, she hadn't known what to answer him - if she even should answer him. But now that she had some new information, she could write him back without doing some sort of stupid white lie.

"Dear Viktor,

Congratulations on making it to the world cup. I was just told that my friends and we got tickets to see the finale. Maybe I'll see you there?

I hope you are well.
Hermione."

She wouldn't give him the gratification of actually writing that she would cheer for him, because right now, she didn't know if she even wanted to. But telling him that they were going wasn't too bad, was it? Now he just had to make it to the finale if he wanted her to watch him play.

Maybe she'd bring a book in case it got boring.

May 3rd, 1994

Hermione had been reading the same passage in her Ancient Runes-book for the past 20 minutes, and she was getting nowhere. She couldn't focus on it, and every word had chosen this specific day, to swim all over the damn page. Maybe it was because she was reading about werewolves, whom she already knew everything about, or maybe it was because the clock down the hall said 7.30PM and she had used the damn Time-turner three times that day - including for two classes.

She didn't even know why she even bothered to read up on werewolves in the first place. Without having read from her textbook, she would already be able to make a lengthy essay with more information than half of the other students would have.

She tried once more - just to do it, and failed again, miserably.

She was so tired.

She knew she had a bottle of Invigoration Draught in her bag… All she needed to do was take a sip. She scowled at where she knew it was located under the table.

In the beginning it had been fine - but now it tasted vile, and made her want to vomit more often than not.

She sighed, and turned her head away to look at the window where she could see the sun slowly starting its descent for the day.

If she laid down across the table, she guessed that it would take her about 4,3 seconds before she would be fast asleep.

She had used the Time-turner too much in recent times, sometimes a couple of times a day - even on days where it wasn't required for classes.

Actually, she was beyond tired. She was exhausted.

She softly closed the book and laid her head down on the cover. Maybe if she could just close her eyes for two minutes, she would be able to finish her essay.

Why did she even bother with the Timeturner? She could feel it pushing heavily against the fabric of the shirt as she rested against the book.

She should have never accepted it. Maybe she should just go directly to Professor McGonagall and return it.

Exams be damned.

She could probably pass all of them at this point only by what she had been taught up until this point of the school-year.

But then she wouldn't be getting top marks. No, she couldn't do that - she needed to do her best. And doing her best meant being a part of all the classes and getting top marks in the exams.

Nothing less could do it for her.

But she was so exhausted. She sighed hard.

"Miss Granger! What do you think you're doing?" Her head whipped up at the sharp voice and her eyes widened to focus on it, somewhere in front of her.

"What?" She asked as her eyes focused on the Stern witch, Madam Pince, standing in front of her with her hands on her hips and a hard look on her face.

"This is not a dormroom miss Granger, and the books are not your pillow! Honestly, Miss Granger, I had expected better from you."

"But-"

"No 'but's' Miss Granger, I will not hear it. Of all the students in this school, I would have expected you to treat the books better than that!" The librarian shot sharply at her.

"But, I-"

"Get out if you can't treat them better. This is a library meant for reading and studying - not somewhere to sleep!" Madam Pince left nothing to be said after that and Hermione felt tears stinging in her eyes as she stood to pack up her things as quickly as she could.

With the librarian's sharp look at the back of her head, she hurried from the library as fast as she could, running as soon as she walked through the doors but before they had even closed behind her.

She didn't know where she was running to or what she wanted to achieve by it, but it was like her tears were fueling her anger at having been thrown out of the library, giving her more and more energy for every tear rolling down her cheeks.

Luckily, she didn't pass anyone as she ran down the hallway. It was probably for the best, seeing as she wouldn't have known what to say to them.

At some point she hit a dead-end and turned around. She had long ago stopped counting how many flights of stairs she had run up, and wasn't even entirely sure where she was in the castle at this point.

Instead of running, she was simply walking now.

She didn't know what she needed anymore. She needed somewhere to sleep. She needed somewhere to be alone. She needed somewhere she could just study in peace without being disturbed by giggling teenage-girls and stupid librarians. She had the sudden urge to kick something, but didn't have anything beside the stonewalls surrounding her.

Not having the words to say what she wanted or needed, she just yelled in anguish and clutched her hair, angrily.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" She sneered at herself, hot, angry tears once again finding its way into her eyes.

In her anguish and confusion, she turned around again to walk back. Maybe there was a classroom she could use. Just for ten minutes.

She flung herself against the first door she found, and found it opening up to her before she even touched it.

Instead, she stumbled into the room and barely managed to righten herself before she was on her hands and knees on the stone floor of a fully lit room. Having not anticipated the lights, she quickly looked around hoping that she hadn't interrupted anyone in anything.

The room was empty.

Well, not entirely empty, but there didn't seem to be anyone inside the room.

Another thing she hadn't expected was for a massive kingsize bed to be positioned in the middle of the room. There were also several large study-tables and chairs, bookcases, stacks of porcelain plates, empty glass-bottles and something akin to mannequins.

Why the hell had someone conjured a bed into a classroom? that was just… vulgar.

She found herself feeling irritated and enraged about the fact that people could just make a bed out of thin air and take a nap whenever they could - because ordinary people didn't have a fucking Timeturner to ruining their life!

Normal people didn't have five classes in the span of a day, where normal people only had THREE. Three fucking classes! What she wouldn't do to only have three classes in a day. Instead, she needed to burn herself down to the ground and pick herself up again, just to do the same thing the day after, and the day after, and the day after.

She hadn't realized that she had picked up her wand, but sparks were flying from the tip and she felt compelled to turn it towards something.

She wanted to destroy something.

Anything!

She just wanted -

She wanted -

She needed -

She screamed in anguish and flung her wandhand out, destroying anything and everything she could come within wand-reach of. Plates were shattering, wood were splintering and pillow-fluff were soaring lazily through the air by the time she finally succumbed to exhaustion, and collapsed on the floor.

May 22nd, 1994

"Do I have something in my hair, or something?" She asked quietly, her eyes not leaving the notes that she was currency studying while scribbling on a piece of parchment on the side.

On the other side of what she was currently working on, laid a pile of parchments and a stack of books on Arithmancy and Ancient runes. Those were on her to-do-list of subjects to cover the following night, but for some reason she had forgotten to remove them from her backpack that morning and had carried them all the way to the library without realizing.

She and Harry were currently four hours deep into a mixture of transfiguration, charms and potions, and they had yet to see the end of their hard work for the day. That was, until she noticed Harry's writing stopping some 20 minutes ago. That was about the same time that she started noticing how blatantly he was staring at her.

Harry didn't answer her, which forced her to remove her focus from her former essay on the shrinking solution. She dotted the last 'i' and looked up at her best friend with a heavy sigh. "What?"

Harry was looking at her like she was an assignment he could figure out how to start on. Still, he said nothing.

"Come on, Harry, I've got things to do. What is it?"

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, looking an awfully lot like a fish out of water, gasping for air. He finally closed it again, narrowed his eyes on her and asked: "How do you do it?"

It didn't happen a lot of times, but apparently, it happened. She had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. She cocked her head to the side and looked at him, hoping that her face was showing all of the confusion in the world - on her face. "What on earth are you talking about, Harry?"

"I just don't understand how you do it." He said, eyes still narrowed slightly on her like the answer would miraculously pop out on her forehead.

"Do what, Harry? Spit it out already."

"Arithmancy."

"Arithmancy?" She was so confused. What in Merlin's name did he not understand with Arithmancy.

Well, everything, since he didn't take the class… But what did that have to do with her and how she 'did it'. She went to class, made her assignments. What wasn't there to understand?

"I just… I overheard you talking to your professor yesterday, about some assignment that you had done. But… You haven't been to any of the classes… How could you have handed in any assignments?"

It all fell into place all at one, and all at once, she was screwed.

"So I was wondering - how do you do it? Because your classes are at the same time as charms, and we all know that you haven't missed a single one of those. So how could you have been at Arithmancy?"

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

"Oh. Err…" Think, Hermione! Think! "I made a deal with Professor McGonagall at the beginning of the year, that... Ehh… I could take the courses by… Ehh… Evening… Classes." Harry was looking at her like he didn't believe a single word that came out of her mouth. "Yeah, I spend some of my free-periods during the week with Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, and then some nights as well. I also spend the Christmas-holidays doing a lot of assignments so that I wouldn't be behind the others in the class."

"You made a deal with McGonagall about taking extra classes, when you should be relaxing and doing homework for your other classes?" He asked, an eyebrow raised in a suspicious question.

"Yeah. She even talked to the ministry and had their approval to give me more classes than could physically fit into my schedule." At least that wasn't a lie, she thought to herself.

"It makes sense why you're always so tired, then, I guess." He said leaning back in his chair and putting his arms leisurely behind his head, stretching while at it.

"Yeah. Sometimes I wonder if it was a good idea to accept when Professor McGonagall made the proposition… But I really enjoy the classes."

"And the company." Harry muttered in a very low voice, but she heard it perfectly fine.

"What was that?" She asked sweetly, giving him the chance to fight or flight.

"Nothing! Nothing at all - oh, look at the time. Let's get down to lunch!" Flight it is, she thought and stood up to collect her things.

But his comment had her thinking… Did the company make her enjoy the classes more?

She really liked the dynamic that she, Draco and Theo had in Arithmancy. They were really great work-partners - and they were fun as well.

But Ancient Runes with Draco was... Different, somehow. Sure, she really enjoyed working with him when it was just the two of them, and he was really funny as well… But it was different. It felt different, with him.

She ticked off the reasons in her mind, the list of how it felt different with him, growing longer day for day.

A thing she found to be really important, if not the most important thing - his touch didn't hurt. The realization had been sudden and excruciating, yet painfully obvious. With anyone else, she would flinch unconsciously by any touch that she had not already seen coming, doing whatever she could to get out of their reach. But with Draco, she couldn't help but lean into it.

Even the smallest of unconscious touches, made her lean into them.

Those small touches, somehow made her feel warm and comfortable - even on the coldest of days. And she couldn't understand why! It was a touch for Merlin's sake! It was a damn touch that somehow didn't hurt her into her very soul, but instead made her feel like coming home into a warm and heated room, after a day of being outside in the pouring, ice-cold rain.

Another thing that differentiated him from everyone else, was the fact that she never tired of him. Sometimes when Harry or Daniel had a really bad day and snapped at anyone around them, they were impossible to be around - she would find someone else to hang out with.

But she didn't feel that way with Draco. When he had some rough days, she would simply sit with him and read, or write. Or do nothing at all.

Just the other day, they had found themselves sitting outside by the lake by the forest where no one normally went. He would sit there with his back against the tree and mutter angrily to himself, while she just laid in the sun and relaxed. She simply existed for him to talk to - should he need to.

Walking into the Great Hall, she did everything in her power to not look at the Slytherin-table. She had gotten the oddest habit of blushing deeply whenever their eyes met, and like real-life magnetism, it happened anytime she entered a room where he might be.

There was no need for it to happen in the Great Hall, of all places - especially right after Harry had just insinuated how she only liked her classes because Draco Malfoy was in them.

May 24th, 1994

"Hermione."

Her name fell off their lips with such ease and finesse, that it was like it was the only way it was meant to be said.

It was no longer blood pumping through her veins. It was molten, beautiful silver.

It felt like home.

It felt like belonging.

It felt like it was everything and everywhere that she had ever meant to be.

It was like being surrounded in a hug from a loved one, that you never wanted to leave.

It was like pancakes on Christmas morning.

Like the smell of books from the library.

Like rain on the pavement during the summer heat.

It was perfect.

"Hermione."

A warm hand touched her shoulder and she leaned into it.

She didn't know who was talking to her or who was touching her shoulder. But she didn't mind.

Her world was engulfed in different shades of grey, and she never wanted to leave.

"Hermione."

The voice was getting more persistent, no longer the careful and soft voice. Their touch also stopped being careful and the grey slowly turned darker and darker until she could see nothing but darkness.

"Noo... leave me alone…" She mumbled to the voice, "Bring back my grey…"

"No, Hermione. You need to wake up now. You're late for class."

She jolted upwards and stared directly into a pair of concerned, grey eyes. "What?!"

Again, grey was all she could see. Beautiful, molten grey. She blinked a couple of times until the person in front of her came into clear view. Draco's hand was still on her shoulder as he looked at her with a troubled look on her face.

Had she just dreamed about Draco?

Wait… Dreamed? Had she slept? Had Draco woken her up?

Her thoughts were running rampant and she found her breathing hitching as she focused solely on his face, trying hard to ignore the hand that was now jostling her shoulder softly.

"Hermione, you're late for class."

"Wait, what? What time is it?!" She rushed upwards and felt instantly dizzy by the hurried motion, clutching the table to stay upright she found goosebumps erupting on her shoulder by the sudden coldness that Draco removing his hand had brought on.

"You still have a few minutes to make it to charms." He said, and she hurriedly gathered all of her books that were spread out over the two tables in front of her. "Hermione, did you even go to lunch?" He asked as she shoved the reminder of a chocolate bar into her mouth.

"Yes, yes I did." She blatantly lied, and threw her books into her bag, making sure to push her flask with Invigoration Draught all the way to the side so she could reach it once she was out of sight. Maybe that would be able to get her through the day.

She walked as fast as she could, and once she was out in the hallway, she ran. She was almost by the charms classroom when she pulled out the flask, downed the entire thing and halted right in front of the door to the classroom.

She quickly corrected her clothes and opened the door, so walk into the room like she hadn't been dead asleep a few minutes ago.

Dead asleep, and dreaming of Draco.

Draco Malfoy, and his beautiful, molten grey, eyes.

Bloody hell, I like Draco. She thought to herself as she sat down at her usual table.

How she had even made it to the classroom in the first place, she had no idea, for her world was spinning so ferociously that she ought to be laying on the floor.

Bloody. Fucking. Hell.

music:
Pain - Three Days Grace
Little do they know - Alex & Sierra

playlist/1P5krpjY9txJkVXx1kTMJO?si=7179d3076ee5422f