Title: Are You Ready?
Chapter: 50 - Gifts
Author: Killaurey
Rating: T
Word Count: 5,057
Summary: AU. Sakura gives up on Kakashi as a teacher after Team 7 falls apart. Too bad fate, enemy ninja, and sheer bad luck have other plans.
Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me. It's Kishimoto's and I just play with it. Part 50 of ? Unbeta'd.


The next few days are... are so strange.

Sakura tries not to examine why it's so weird that she's welcomed with smiles and told stories wreathed with laughter and when she needs anything at all, someone is there to help her out. It's not just Tenten, though Tenten is the one who, along with her mom, handles anything that comes up during the night (and, embarrassingly, the time where Sakura walked into a wall in the middle of the night while trying to find the bathroom).

It's Tenten's father, a steel-haired man with eyes sharp as flint and a laugh that could crack rocks. He's enormous and he has the most wonderful stories. It's Tenten's brothers, both older than her, one with his own family, including a baby that Sakura spends one afternoon holding while everyone else bustles around for a cousin's birthday party that, yes, she's invited to as well since she's here and that means she's family.

In equal parts it's marvellous and overwhelming. There's so many people in Tenten's extended family and they're all nice and there's always someone around.

Sometimes she has to retreat to her room, on steps soft as snow, in order to get her thoughts in order and just breathe.

It's amazing but also leaves her chest feeling tight in ways that have nothing to do with her heart injury.

Ino swans in and out of Tenten's home, a blonde force of chaos, and behind her, every day, comes Hatake-sensei for training in Tenten's backyard.

She's worried at first that it'll all be lectures which, while she's good at, were never her problem spots, but Hatake-sensei is too clever for that. He makes them stretch, as much as they're able to, though he keeps a sharp eye on her so she doesn't over-do it.

(It's so hard to not judge herself against Ino, who is healthy and strong and leans farther, twists sharper, and is more elegant even while she's a sweating mess.

Sakura reminds herself that the only way to catch up to Ino is to keep her eyes and mind on her own body and she-she doesn't get good at it, but she gets better.)

And while the stretching might show the disparity between her and Ino, Sakura knows better than to complain about it not being 'fair'. Fair, she knows, is something that doesn't matter for this sort of thing. They're starting from different points and it's not a matter of-

When it was Kakashi-sensei and Naruto and Sasuke, then I could complain about it being unfair because Kakashi-sensei was always more interested in the boys than in my training. That was a real complaint that I could back up with proof. But if I said it here, with Hatake-sensei and Ino, it would just be stupid and silly. It's not Ino's fault I'm healing and Hakate-sensei gives both of us all the attention we need.

Still, though, after the stretches and lectures on chakra control and the exercises he walks them through, Sakura has to bite back the complaint about fairness as she watches Ino bounce off with Hatake-sensei and knowing that they're going to go and do the kind of training she's not allowed to resume yet.

But it's okay to have this feeling, Sakura reminds herself. The feeling itself is totally okay. It's just not okay to take it out on them. I'll get better and then I'll catch up. That's all there is to it.

It's still hard some days, but then, at Tenten's place, there's rarely that much time to brood anyway. There's always someone to talk to and they're always willing to talk to her-unless they're obviously busy and, even then, half the time they invite her to talk so long as she helps out too, within the confines of her medical restrictions.

It's sweet and overwhelming and wonderful. It makes her head spin.

It's probably why it takes her nearly two weeks to realize that not everyone she's talking to can, er, be seen by other people.

"Mitsutada-san?" she says, and the old woman beams at her, holding out her hands to draw Sakura closer. Sakura allows herself to be pulled in.

"Who are you talking to, Sakura-chan?" Tenten's mom asks.

Sakura blinks.

It's... pretty obvious, isn't it? Mitsutada-san is all but hugging her, wrinkled and gnarled hands clasped solidly in hers.

"Mitsutada-san," she says.

Tenten's mom frowns, looking around. "I must have just missed her," she says. "Oh well, next time, I guess. Come on, Sakura-chan! Would you help me gather things for Himeru-san's craft sale?"

Mitsutada-san gently pushes her to go do just that, not seeming to be bothered by how Tenten's mom has overlooked her.

"Sure," Sakura says, since she's still hesitant about rocking the boat here. "Himeru-san's holding a craft sale?"

"He does it once a month at the market just down the street," Tenten's mom says cheerfully. "It's to help raise money for the animal shelter. Since he retired from active duty, he spends most of his time working at a vet. He's no Inuzuka, but he's good at what he does."

Sakura allows herself to be drawn away from her confusion, pulled into chatter about shelter animals, and she forgets all about it once they actually get down to the shelter and she spends the afternoon with her arms full of various wriggling animals who are mostly delighted to see her.

(One black cat glares balefully at her from atop a shelf and hisses whenever she passes. Himeru-san tells her not to take it personally.)

It's only once she's eaten supper, showered, and has gone back to her room that she returns to the puzzle of Mitsutada-san. Tenten's mom had obviously known who she was.

And yet...

She hadn't been able to see her, not even when she'd been right there.

Some kind of henge? she wonders. Maybe Mitsutada-san had been practicing a new jutsu. She's retired but that doesn't mean she can't study jutsu. Maybe she's creating them and was testing it out today? A henge that hid you only from the people you wanted to hide from would be pretty awesome actually... I'll ask her next time I see her.

But she doesn't see Mitsutada-san again, over the next few days, and Sakura wonders why. Before, Mitsutada-san had been around pretty frequently.

I hope she's not sick, Sakura frets. That would be terrible. She's already so old and colds are much harder to recover from at that age!

And it would be easy, so easy, to just keep going, to ignore that someone isn't coming around, except that for the first time in her life, Sakura is bolstered on all sides and aspects of her, by kindness and consideration and she...

I want to pay that forward, if I can.

It's why, one afternoon, after training and once Hatake-sensei and Ino have left, and Tenten's mother is out to tea with her girlfriends, and Tenten's father is watching the shop, and Tenten is off at some sort of class that Sakura slips out of their home and goes looking for Mitsutada-san.

With her, she brings a little basket that, on the way there, she fills with tea and biscuits and fresh fruit from the market nearby.

Sakura's concession to her own slow recovery is to carefully, and metaphorically, ice skate along the line of what she's capable of doing and what she wants to be doing by taking it easy, taking it slowly, and making sure the basket she carries isn't very heavy. It means she can't pile in as much as she wants to, so she compensates by making sure she's getting the very best quality that she can afford.

I'll have to think of what to get Tenten's family too, she realizes, peering at a selection of pears. But Mitsutada-san first.

She picks out two pears that look absolutely perfect (Mitsutada-san had told her she loved pears) and, after haggling, tucks them into her basket.

I think that's everything. Now... Mitsutada-san said she lived just a few streets from here...

She gets turned around once, going the wrong way up a street before she realizes what she's done and retraces her steps and, while keeping her own limitations in mind, she sits for a while, watching two old men play Go outside of a tea shop, but the sun is still well up in the sky by the time she passes the bar Mitsutada-san had mentioned, the one with a sign shaped like mistletoe.

Slipping down the street there, she finds herself on a quiet residential lane. Sakura counts off the house numbers as she walks, looking around at the painfully ordinary, painfully normal lives happening around her with envy.

It's not that she hates her life-she doesn't-but seeing this simplicity from others makes her wishful of having it for herself. Everything about her life is complicated.

But I don't know anything about any of these peoples' lives, she reminds herself. I'm sure they all have their own demons too.

People, in her experience, usually do.

She pauses outside of where Mitsutada-san's house is supposed to be, blinking. There's only an empty lot. A few flowers growing in hard packed dirt. A worn bench and a couple of old clay vases on their side.

She looks at the houses, counting again, and-

"Sakura-chan!" Mitsutada-san says and she spins to see the woman she'd been looking for.

"Mitsutada-san!" she says, letting herself be drawn in for a hug. "I was worried about you, so I thought I'd come see you."

Mitsutada-san's hands are rough and little cool under her hands. "You're such a sweet girl," she says. "Come, sit down with me."

Sakura goes with her, to the bench which is clean aside from a little bit of dust from being outside, and they take a seat together. Sakura balances her basket on her lap.

"I thought you lived here," she says. "But, Mitsutada-san, there's no house?"

"Yes, I know," Mitsutada-san says, looking around with misty eyes. "But, Sakura-chan, there used to be! It was so lovely. My husband and I built it together, when we were young and healthy. We raised our children here. Across from us, that was where the kitchen was, and the way, there, it led into the backyard. It was so tiny, but it grew all we needed."

Sakura listens, feeling prickles of unease crawl down her spine. "What happened to your home?"

"There... there was a fire," Mitsutada-san says, after looking around. "It was awful."

Sakura tries to imagine that, having a home she's built herself, loved herself, raised a family in-just gone. 'Awful' seems like too simple a term for it but, perhaps, that's the closest Mitsutada-san can get to acknowledging how much pain it caused her.

Maybe that's why she says her home is still here, even though nothing is left of the house she'd built with her husband.

"Did your husband make it out?" she asks. "Your kids?"

"He was long gone by then," Mitsutada-san says, a fond smile on her face, her gaze soft and distant. "Such a man, Sakura-chan. Always had to go on ahead, make sure it was safe, not realizing all the things he was leaving behind. He'll be there, though, when I'm ready. He always came back. The children were grown, with children of their own... and yet..."

Sakura reaches out and presses her hand to Mitsutada-san's arm. "It's okay," she says, feeling hopelessly inadequate at expressing herself.

Mitsutada-san smiles at her, one ancient hand coming up to cover hers. "I'm still standing," Mitsutada-san says. "I'm lucky. I get to see my family continue to grow."

"That is lucky," Sakura says, smiling back. "Do you live with one of them? We should go there, as it'll be getting dark soon, and I want to drop off this basket. I brought it for you, since I thought you might be ill."

"I live here, Sakura-chan," Mitsutada-san says, very gently. "And I cannot accept your basket. I'm sorry, Sakura-chan."

Sakura blinks. "I... I don't understand?"

"I didn't think you realized," Mitsutada-san says. "I suppose, with so many people about, what's one more? And you're such a friendly, charming girl. Pretty too. People ascribe good motives to people like you, rather than think ill of them."

Sakura frowns. "But I'm talking to you right now, Mitsutada-san. Why would anyone think I need a motive for that?"

But Mitsutada-san doesn't answer her. Not directly, anyway, just holds her hand as they watch people walk by, going about their lives.

On her knees, the basket seems to get heavier and heavier.

"What do you think they see?" Mitsutada-san asks. "When they look your way and smile?"

"Ummm, a girl, I suppose," she says.

"A pretty girl," Mitsutada-san insists.

Sakura flushes, but with pleasure. "I don't really think of myself that way, Mitsutada-san, but—for the sake of this. Alright. A pretty girl is sitting on a bench. She's got a basket with her, so she was out shopping. And she—"

Mitsutada-san shakes her head, squeezes her hand. "That's all they see, Sakura-chan."

Sakura looks at the street quietly, then back at the hand that holds hers and up to meet Mitsutada-san's eyes. They're warm eyes, nestled in a bed of laugh lines. They're very gentle as she thinks and Mitsutada-san gives her the time to do so.

It's a lot to think about.

"They don't see me with my grandmother, do they?" she asks, finally. "They just..."

That's all they see.

"Just a pretty girl on a bench, resting with her shopping basket."

"That's right, Sakura-chan," Mitsutada-san says.

Sakura closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and opens them again. "You... you didn't make it out of the fire, did you?"

"I'm lucky," Mitsutada-san says quietly. "I still get to watch my family grow."

Tenten's mom mentioned-

"Does your daughter visit my host family's home often?" she asks, not sure how to put her situation. Tenten's her friend but this... this isn't really friendship, for why she's staying there.

Mitsutada-san smiles sweetly. "They're good friends, aren't they? Still spending time with each other, several times a week, even with their own families and their own lives now."

Sakura nods, feeling... honestly... just... feeling a little numb. She's been so happy, so overwhelmed with comfort these last few days that it's just...

I can see ghosts? I can talk to them?

It doesn't seem real at all.

But it's real enough, when Mitsutada-san gets a look at her face and urges her up.

"Come on, Sakura-chan," she says. "Let's get you back so you can rest. I forgot, you're still healing. All the youth in the world won't help you if you don't take care of yourself."

Sakura laughs, unsteadily, and allows herself to be guided by a woman long dead back to Tenten's home.

I need to talk to someone but—how will I explain this? Is it because I was so close to death?

But Mitsutada-san is scolding her and, meekly, Sakura turns her attention outwards and bobs her head as she accepts the lecture (so much for good deeds done with good intentions!) and tries not to wonder if she looks completely crazy from the outside.

I still can't tell that she's dead. The only reason I know is because she—she told me. What if she's lying? Except that what would be the reason for her to lie about that? And how am I ever going to know? Is there a way to tell? Will people believe me?

It's too much to think about.

Does being pretty really matter in this situation?

Maybe it's shock but Sakura doesn't remember getting back to Tenten's place, nor does she remember falling asleep, the moment her head hits her pillow.

She knows, though, that someone else pulls up the blankets around her, and someone else puts the fruit and her basket away.

She knows that she's not alone and, for now, that's enough.


"Bad idea," Tenten announces, collapsing into a heap of limbs next to where Hinata is reading a scroll. "I am full of regrets. It was a bad—no, it was a terrible idea."

"You've been spending too much time with Ino-san," Hinata says mildly, casting a glance her way that is only vaguely concerned. "That sounds like her more than you."

"Maybe," Tenten admits, figuring that the one word will suffice for both accusations. "What are you reading?"

To her amusement, Hinata rolls the scroll up primly, taking the time to tie the ribbon around it with a precision that Tenten has never bothered with mastering for such a fiddly, silly little task. So long as the thing is tied, it's fine, right? There's no need for perfection for that sort of thing.

"N-No," Hinata says, once she's done that. "You have to tell me what's wrong. What was a bad idea?"

Tenten rearranges herself a little more comfortably. She's not sure how Ino does it, making collapsing a dramatic production and also something that looks comfortable and effortless all at once.

"Pushy," she says approvingly. "I like it."

Hinata flushes slightly. "Tenten," she says, reprovingly.

Tenten grins at her and is rewarded with a smile from Hinata. "I like it," she repeats. "As for my bad idea, well, it's the whole getting to know Sakura better thing."

A tiny crease appears between Hinata's brows as she frowns. "A-Are there problems? I thought you and Sakura were getting along well."

"We are," Tenten assures her. "But it's just… made things more complicated, to me, I guess. I just feel some way about it."

She doesn't want to say that Sakura has made things worse since that's not fair and, really, Sakura is an excellent houseguest and, by having her around, Ino is around more often and Tenten is down for that because Ino is silly and chattery and sharply, violently intelligent underneath the giggles.

But… it's made things worse, because it's hard to miss that when they're around, they're three, and she's missed being part of an active, whole group of three Genin. If their Hatake-sensei actually hung out with them at her place—which, he hasn't yet, except for odd moments where he's dragooned into staying for a meal and a drink with her mom and dad; the training sessions he holds with Ino and Sakura don't count as 'hanging out'—then it would almost be like…

A team.

An all-girls team, so far as the Genin would be concerned.

"I like my team," Tenten says.

"Lee-san thinks you're marvellous," Hinata says, after a moment. "And Neji-nii-san never complains about you."

Which, Tenten knows, in its own way as large a compliment as all the times Lee gushes on about her strength, skills, and youthful beauty.

Beyond the door… well, that's probably why she's been so wishy washy about opening it. She's not sure that she should and, if she does, what happens after that is so up in the air that she'll be free-falling without a safety net.

"It's been thirty-four years since the last all-girl team," she says, like it doesn't matter, like it isn't what's been eating at her and fuelling her restlessness for weeks.

"Yes," Hinata says, with the serenity of someone who is happy where they are. "I know."

Tenten picks at a few blades of grass, rolling them over and over in her fingers. "I…"

Then, like always, she stops there. Even in her own mind, it's hard to get past that point, to find the words to express how she feels about all of it. With Hinata's rejection of joining Team Seven (not that anyone on the team had ever reached out and asked her—that's a different story entirely), mostly people have settled into the status quo.

But she…

She wants it.

"Have Ino-san and Sakura-san said anything?" Hinata asks quietly.

Tenten shakes her head.

"No," she says. "I honestly don't think they've even considered the matter. Well, beyond rolling their eyes at any of the talk. Ino's been busy with the whole… mess… from her leaving her old team and Sakura's still just revelling and now healing, you know?"

"I know," Hinata says, and they fall quiet.

Some part of her feels relieved because, even though she hasn't said anything particularly damning, she knows Hinata has followed her. Hinata knows now.

And hasn't told me I'm terrible for it.

In fact, it's not until perhaps twenty minutes later that Hinata says anything at all.

"I need to head back," she says, standing.

"Yeah, okay," Tenten says, looking at the sky for a moment before standing too. "Mom'll probably want me home soon too."

"Tenten," Hinata says, "not everything has to be permanent."

"You've said that before," Tenten says.

"Look into it," Hinata advises. "If only so you know all your options."

"I've been too scared to look," Tenten admits, stuffing her hands into her pockets.

"Supine doesn't suit you," Hinata murmurs. "In the laying of. I really do hope that you'll look into it, Tenten. There's nothing wrong with just... trying something out. Isn't that what you tell me?"

Tenten grimaces. "I know. It's just..."

"I know that too," Hinata says thoughtfully. "Would you like us to research it together?"

And that, coming from a friend almost two years her junior is honestly both sweet and rather embarrassing. Tenten kind of hates that, apparently, she needs this kick in the pants to get moving... yet...

She can't really deny that she does. She knows good and well what she's been kicking around for the last few weeks and the choice that she's been putting off.

"Yeah," she says, "if you don't mind. Don't let me chicken out, okay? I'd never live it down if I did."

"The only person who'd know is you," Hinata notes.

"And you," Tenten says.

"For the record," Hinata says, "whatever your choice is, I'll support it, but you—you need to make one, I think. This is doing you no good, hovering between two different paths and unable to decide which door to open and which is best left closed."


The last place he'd expected to run into Ino was outside of a pet shop.

Chouji has been well, well aware that Ino's been back from her mission with Haruno and her new sensei. He'd have had to be completely oblivious to have missed it, especially when his father's been keeping him in the loop about... what Shikamaru had done and how Asuma-sensei had marched into the Nara forests to actually do something and...

Well.

It's been days and he hasn't seen Asuma-sensei since.

Chouji is... mostly certain that the Nara wouldn't have fed him to their deer (it's probably bad for them) or to their trees (that's... more complicated; trees like dead things as fertilizer) but, in any case, while he's heard a lot about Ino, and Shikamaru, and everyone in between, he hasn't seen her.

He pauses, taking in the sight of her. Even though she's frowning at the window, arms crossed over her chest, she looks… good.

She looks happy, he decides. That's what it is.

Somehow that makes him both sad and happy himself. Bittersweet, maybe? Like maybe Ino had been right, to do what was best for her. It was one thing to hear it, to think it, and another thing to see it.

"Hey," he says, casually, though he's not sure of his welcome as he draws up beside her. "What are you thinking so hard about?"

She gives him a startled look—at his presence? At his tone?

He doesn't let the look hurt his feelings (much; he deserves that look) and just shrugs a little, popping open a bag of chips and offering her first pick silently. It's meant to say a lot of things that he doesn't really know how to put into words but most of them all boil down to: "I'm sorry, by the way."

Ino gives him a long look and then takes a chip.

"Alright," she says, with a toss of her hair. She's wearing it down, which is a little strange, since she hasn't really done that since they'd been very little, in the Academy.

Chouji, knowing better from having many, many girl cousins, resolves not to ask questions about her hair. Maybe later, he'll say it looks pretty.

It does.

But only maybe will he say anything about it. Girls, he knows, are weird about their hair.

She eats the chip silently and they both watch the kittens. She doesn't say anything like 'apology accepted' or 'you're forgiven' but, then, Chouji hadn't expected that when he hadn't even managed to say the words to explain his feelings first.

He eats a few chips and offers her another one, which she takes.

It's only after eating the second chip that she seems to make up her mind about what to do with him.

"And I was just looking at the kittens. Do you think they're really as smart as the sign says they are?"

Chouji looks at the sign, noticing it for the first time, down in the corner, where it proclaims that the kittens are as smart as Inuzuka dogs.

"Doubt it," he says, after a moment. "The owners certainly aren't, using the Inuzuka name that way. Unless they owner is—"

"They're not," she says. "I checked."

Chouji shrugs a little. "Just a poorly thought out sale attempt, I guess? They're cute, though."

"Yeah," Ino says quietly. "They are."

Chouji looks at her for a moment, wondering at the downwards shift of her mood. Wondering if he can say something about it.

"Were... you thinking of getting a pet?" he asks.

That makes her eyes light up and she grins at him, free and easy, like hasn't been in-

Longer than I realized. Ages.

-a while.

"Noooo," Ino says, though she looks at the kittens a while longer. "I'd never bring a cat into my home. There's too many plants that would kill them in horrible, agonizing ways, and cats love to chew on plants. Unless the cat really was as smart as Akamaru or something, I wouldn't dare, and even if a kitten was going to grow up to be that smart—kittens are awfully dumb."

"Kiba would love to hear that," Chouji says. "Of course, he's not at all biased in any way, shape, or form."

Ino laughs.

"Did you want to go in and look at them?" Chouji asks, then hesitates. "Do you mind company?"

Do you mind mine? he means, but other than a glance and a half-raised eyebrow, Ino doesn't call him on it.

"Probably better not to go in," she admits. "But, sure, I've got some time. Hatake-sensei's given me the day off, said he had a few things to do, and Sakura was kind of weird when I went to see her this morning, so I'm giving her space to chill or whatever. What were you doing?"

"Dad sent me to get some stationary," Chouji says. "It's not the most exciting of errands but it's also not time sensitive."

"I could use some ink," Ino says. "Okay, cool, we can do that. It's still the shop a couple blocks over, right? The one near that yakitori place?"

"That's the one," he agrees, and they start heading that way.

Chouji does not offer to eat there with her and Ino says nothing about it either. It pinches at him a little, this deviation, but it doesn't escape his notice that Ino's shoulders relax and her smile turns brighter when she realizes he's not going to ask.

I will be grateful for this gift, he decides. Even if finding the new shape of our friendship is probably going to hurt. A lot. But I'm glad to see her happy.

"So if you weren't going to get a cat, what were you thinking about?" he asks curiously, not sure if she'll answer him.

From the expression on her face, she's not sure if she'll answer him either.

After a moment, she shrugs a little. "It's just, I was thinking something, I guess. I don't know. It might not be a good idea. You ever have an idea pop up that goes 'oh, hey, pay attention to me' and you're all 'hmmm I'm not sure that's a great thought' but the idea persists?"

"Yes," Chouji says simply, and doesn't pry into what the idea is. "Have you asked Sakura about it?"

"Not yet," Ino admits. "She was hurt pretty bad on our mission and now she's recuperating and, well, I like to have my ducks in a row a little more than this one is before I bring it up."

"That's fair," he says. "Do... do you think Sakura would mind if I stopped by sometime? After the whole..."

Chouji trails off.

"Yeah, I get why you wouldn't show up at the hospital," Ino says. "But, yeah, what about this weekend? Tell me what time and I'll swing by and grab you and we can go see her. She's at Tenten's place, right now, and I don't think you know where that is."

"Not a clue," he agrees. "I'll have to check with my dad, but that should be good. I'll let you know."

"Great," Ino says as they climb the steps to the stationary shop. "And now, we spend money!"

Chouji laughs at how gleeful she sounds about that, tucking away his bag of chips, saving the rest for later. She waits for him as he washes his hands in the little fountain outside of the shop.

It's strange and awkward between them, both of them far too casual and too formal all at once, but Chouji resolves to... not ignore it, that led to this, but to not let the awkwardness rule him.

He doesn't play games the way Shikamaru does and Ino's smarter than he is—and can read his mind, besides—but, he thinks, for the first time, that if he's careful, just maybe, he can have his friend back. It won't be the same as it had been.

But I think I'm... starting to be okay with that. I'd rather be her friend, in any capacity, than not at all.