This is a longer chapter because I don't know how to break it up. There is FI trauma in this chapter, pretty extreme. I tried to make the delivery medically accurate, but every one is different. I don't believe I prefaced Chapter 42 or Chapter 43, but those I did not research at all, so I doubt they are that accurate.
Thanks for all of the support!
-CL
P.S. Happy Memorial Day!
I find, in a storage closet, multiple sheets and blankets. I grab a small blanket for the baby, a sheet to cover America's legs, a sheet for the floor, and a sheet for the bed. I also grab sheets for myself, wrapping them around my waist. I tie a sheet around the bodice of my dress as well. I reluctantly take off my gloves, showing my bare arms. I wish I wore something with sleeves, I think. I also find some medical supplies, but nothing that would help us if this delivery didn't go smoothly. And there's no sort of pain medication, either. "Fucking terrific," I mutter under my breath.
I hear America moan. "Ames, don't push," I hear Maxon say. His voice sounds frightened. I hear her bite back a scream. "Bella?" Maxon calls nervously. "Are you almost ready?"
I walk to America, supplies in hand, and sigh. "Maxon, I'm literally in the same room as you. I can hear what's going on, you know. Now, help America stand up. I need to set up the bed." He nods and leads America to lean against the wall. She grabs her back and moans. Maxon grabs her hand, trying to comfort her. I try not to cry, wishing that I was in America's position. I turn to fix the bed. I tune out Maxon and America, focusing on my task. I finish and look to see Maxon hugging America, rocking back and forth. I whimper, but quickly cover my mouth. You will not cry, I think. But thank God you put on a whole face of waterproof makeup. I take a deep breath and allow my face to become stony again. I clear my throat. "Maxon, have America lay down." He guides her to the bed and helps her lay down against the pillows. I grab the blanket and set up the supplies. "Maxon, how far apart are her contractions?"
"They're about a minute-although they've been becoming under a minute," Maxon replies, still holding America's hand. She moans, and I know I'm running out of time.
I wait until the contraction is over. "America, do you want to put your legs up or pull your legs toward you?"
"Just-have my legs up. I want the sheet on," she replies, putting her feet flat on the bed. I put the sheet over her knees, covering her area. She grabs the sheet on the bed, almost tugging it off the bed.
"Ames, I'm going to take off your underwear," I say. I whimper, knowing that this should be me in a few months. But it's not. She nods, and I kneel down. I cringe and peel off her underwear. I glance at my wedding ring and take it off, handing it to Maxon. "Hold onto this." He nods and glances back at America. With the way he's looking at her, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought America was his wife. I can see it in his eyes that he wishes this was his child being delivered. Not like the botched delivery I had. I sigh and make myself numb. "America? With the next contraction, I want you to push."
She whimpers and nods. "Ames, are you sure? Do you want to try to wait for the rebels to leave?" Maxon asks.
"Maxon, do you realize how stupid that is?! Even if she stopped pushing, the uterus would still contract and push the baby out-it will take a lot longer. America or I can't stop it now. And who knows how long it'll be before we are allowed out of the safe rooms? Just, let me handle it, Maxon. You may think I'm incapable, but this stuff fascinates me. I just don't-never mind." I see America tense. "Alright, Ames. You need to start pushing."
"Maxon," she whimpers, grabbing onto his hand.
He kisses her forehead. "I'm right here, Ames." She nods and pushes. She grimaces but doesn't make a sound. "Keep going, Ames." He wipes her hair out of her face.
"I-I'll be right back," I say, standing as soon as America's done pushing. I run around the corner wall, trying to catch my tears before they ruin my makeup.
"I'll be back, Ames. Try not to push," I hear Maxon say, his footsteps following the path I just walked. I duck my head, hoping he won't notice the tear tracks. He gently hugs me from behind, kissing my hair. "Bella?" he whispers.
I try to turn my face stone-like again, but it's impossible. I let the tears fall silently, hoping that Maxon won't notice. I take a deep breath. "I'm fine," I say, my voice hard. "Let's go-" but my voice crack betrays me, causing Maxon to turn me around.
He gently guides my face up, making me look at him. "Oh, Bella." He doesn't need to say anything else before I break down. My legs give out, and I hope my head will hit the ground hard enough to knock me out. Maxon doesn't catch me, allowing me to fall to the ground. I look up and don't see Maxon. "America?" he asks, already out of view. I harden my face, wiping my tears away carefully. The sting from Maxon's rejection was almost crippling, but I stand up. I wipe off the sheets and walk to America. She's screaming, twisting the sheets. "Bella?" Maxon asks, trying to comfort America. His face is strained, looking at America. I dig my fingernails into my arm, not allowing the tears to come.
I pull up the sheet, noticing the baby's head. I take a deep breath. "It looks like she's starting to crown. The baby's head is stretching the cervix-the ring of fire," I respond. I look at America and see tears streaming down her cheeks. "Did your contraction just pass?"
She nods. "It hurts. Get it out of me!" she screams.
"Ames, you've got to do it," I say. "I need you to try to pant through it."
"Ames, Ames, shh," Maxon says, tears streaming down his cheeks.
America tenses. "Now, Ames, push as hard as you can and the head will be out. This is the worst part."
She shakes her head. "I can't," she whimpers.
"Yes, you can. You have to, Ames," I say. "Push. Now." She screams, refusing to push. "Ames, don't make me do something even more painful. I'm not trained," I remind her. This sparks something in her because she soon starts bearing down. "That's it, Ames. Scream if you need to." She does, pushing through the ring of fire. "One more and the head is out, Ames." She pushes once more and the head's out. I gently hold it. "Breathe, Ames. Rest." She does, closing her eyes. Maxon brushes the hair out of her face. She tenses and gets ready to push again. I nod and she bears down, getting the shoulders out. I gently guide the baby, making sure not to be too rough. "One more, Ames," I say. She does, screaming. The baby is now in my hands. I quickly grab the blanket, wrapping it around the baby. The baby starts crying. "It's…it's a girl, Ames," I say, handing her the baby. I turn to Maxon, in awe of the living baby in front of him. "Maxon, do you…do you want to cut the cord?" I choke out.
He nods, already grabbing a pair of sanitized scissors from the first-aid kit. I guide him on where to cut it, and he snips. I hand the baby back to America and Maxon stares at his niece.
I look at America cooing at her baby. "Alright, Ames. Let's deliver the placenta. It won't be that bad." She just nods, not looking up from the baby. I grab a container and place it near her opening. I gently push on her body where the uterus is. "Push, Ames."
"Wait! Bella, what the hell are you doing?" Maxon shouts. He grabs my hands and pulls them off of her. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
I stand firm. "She has to deliver the placenta," I say, monotonously. I put my hands back on America. "Push." She does, not even looking away from the baby. It takes a few pushes, but soon the placenta comes out. "Alright, Ames. You're all done." I grab some maxi pads from the closet and put them in her underwear, helping her back into them. I move the container to a table, hoping to give it to the hospital to dispose of it.
She finally looks up. "Thanks, Bella. For everything." I nod. She turns to Maxon. "Do you want to hold your niece?" she says.
Maxon nods. "Of course I do." She hands him the baby.
It's too much for me to take. "Excuse me," I mumble, doubting that they heard me. I walk around the corner of the wall and sink to the ground. I allow myself to shatter, silent sobs racking my body. I close my eyes, hoping the world will go away.
