Saturday, 11/26

"It's over… It's finally over."

For Ren, the work wasn't over—he labored over a pan of food that, as of five minutes prior, resembled the recipe he found on the internet. As of that moment…

Things weren't as exact.

For Makoto, maybe the work was over. Ren watched as she trudged across his apartment, skipping joining him in the kitchen, to flop on his couch longways, groaning after the impact. Morgana complained about his spot being taken and about the lack of manners from Makoto.

"Tough week?"

Makoto's arms stretched upward; they were the only visible part of her. "So much complaining…" she said, her voice strained.

"Well, Makoto," Ren said as he flipped the food in the pan. It wasn't in the recipe's directions, he did it for pride. "We'll have an easy weekend."

"We will?"

Ren turned off the stove and distributed the unidentifiable food to two plates. With enough luck and enough of a completed workload, Makoto would not notice the lack of attention paid to presentation.

"We will. I can do the cooking, we'll be lazy, and you don't need to worry about anything school-related."

"Ren, I can't not worry now… There are exams, there's—"

It was not an argument, Ren didn't have to respond. Instead, he shoved the plate in Makoto's face, looking down on her to let her know he expected her to test the food.

Kinda evil to have her test the meal before I do. But hey, she's the target audience.

"Good," Makoto mumbled after a bite, using her free hand for a thumbs-up. "Better than the jazz club food."

The jazz club was a mood, it had the right vibe; those two facts were as undeniable as Makoto needing to relax. However, the vibe did the heavy lifting when it came to the club's online reviews. The service and the food weren't right—everything was the slightest bit burnt and came with a "Love it or else we'll spit in your food" look whenever it was served.

There were some cool songs, though. That woman can sing her ass off.

Still, Ren kept his general thoughts to himself. Makoto didn't need the negative energy. "The food was good enough because it was the only time I got to see you all week."

"It's been a while since we stayed apart like that," Makoto said. Ren flickered out of the conversation into memories of rejection, of judgment, of taking every step in the wrong direction… It came back as paranoia that it could happen all over again. Comfort was not his strong suit. Makoto must've seen this because she cleared her throat and raised her voice. "S-so, how'd you spend your time without me?"

"I—"


2 Days Earlier…

"I'll rescind the 'Shitya' name if you train me in your trash-talking ways."

Shinya shook Ren's hand immediately. "Deal!"

There was no preparation for the curriculum, they simply got right into it. Ren could more than handle Shinya within gameplay, but the verbiage was another matter.

"Yeah, I'm gonna surgically implant emeralds in your mom's forehead!"

"Pfft, nice haircut. Where'd you get it done? America?"

"What kinda shot is that? My five-year-old sister's best friend's cousin's dad's brother's daughter's friend's older brother can do better!"

Shinya had a remarkable lack of sanity for a kid his age.

He's a prodigy. I should be the one training him in my ways.


Saturday, 11/26

"—Picked up some new vocabulary. I'm being trained to talk shit to Yusuke."

Makoto lowered her plate and finished chewing, slowly forming a grin. "What's your best line?"

"Um… There was one about hyperhidrosis and an unshaven beard… How'd it go?" Ren's hands scratched his chin, shading his mumblings from Makoto's frown. "Something-something sweaty chinstraps like a—no, that's not it…"

"We'll revisit this later," Makoto said. She pulled her legs in and sat up normally, scootching over and patting the spot next to her. "Come on. We're watching a movie."

"Really? You sound like you've had this planned."

"I have. There's a new science fiction movie I want to watch—Canopy."

"What's it about?"

"Outside of a regal family's quest for jungle power, I do not know. But it's very popular and seems like something we'd both be into—like Earth Harmony with more politics, apparently."

"Cool, cool. Let's do it."


Sunday, 11/27

Reporting to Kosei on a Sunday was not Ren's cup of tea, but there happened to be a special occasion.

A feast! There's nothing better than not worrying about feeding myself and letting someone else make it their problem.

Yusuke reserved a classroom and a table for a GRAVY feast, with dishes brought by the members and donated by Kosei. Ren and Makoto got there early, but there wasn't much of a wait for the rest of GRAVY.

For the club, I did a remarkable job of inviting timely people. Even Ryuji and Yusuke are on time, mostly.

"Welcome all, to the first of many feasts hosted by yours truly," Yusuke said, standing as everyone else sat at the round table. The food between them was almost appetizing—its weekend in a freezer hadn't helped. "Please, take from whatever dish you like."

There was hesitation; nobody wanted to be first.

I'm not gonna object to the first pick of a feast. That'd be disrespectful to the host, right?

Ren reached for a slimy-looking seafood because it was closest to his and Makoto's seats, and he didn't want her to be tempted by something so foul. His reach set off a chain reaction around the table, each person reaching for a unique dish tailored to them. Yusuke thought of everything—nutritional gibberish for Futaba, efficient health for Makoto, and everything in between.

However, food wasn't the point, as Ren learned after his first bite of the regrettably obtained seafood.

"We are here to celebrate the success of Ann-chan and me; our painting will premier on the seventh. From then, we will be global superstars, too busy to spend time on feasts and school attendance."

"He's exaggerating," Ann added, nervously laughing to Ryuji and Futaba next to her.

"It is no exaggeration—the painting has granted us the means for a feast, and it will grant us the means to careers outside of school."

Ann grimaced, concerned about Yusuke's insistence but understanding that she couldn't change it. "We'll finish school anyway, though."

"All of you, whether you plan on completing your education or not, are invited to the gallery. Your names are on the VIP list."

The last art gallery I went to was too much fun—shout out to Akechi.

"For real?!"

"Yes, for real," Yusuke said. "This painting would not have been completed without the friendship of you all. I will forever struggle to repay your companionship, but this gallery is a start."

Haru tipped her glass. "That's very gracious, Yusuke-kun."

"Do not thank me yet, for my services are not fully detailed. After the gallery, there is something I will do for us."

"Group painting!" Futaba's suggestion got a few chuckles, but most of GRAVY didn't take their eyes off of GRAVY.

"No, that comes later. What I must do for you all—for you, Ren—is undergo the next hallucination. That is my duty."

Ann snorted. "What happened to passing?" Her tone was rude, perhaps how Ren would talk if he wanted to offend, but she relented by the end of her question, frowning and sitting back in her chair. She realized something mid-question, assumably.

"I will run no longer," Yusuke said. "I was a coward last time, and that is not who I'll be, not at this moment."

Why'd he change his mind on who he wanted to be?

"What made you realize that?" Makoto asked.

"My fear for you all. I allowed you, Makoto, to undergo the hallucination when it should have been me. I let you all look at Haru and Ann before I volunteered. For that, I apologize with my renewed composure and acceptance of my destiny. Of course, this will be after my gallery—money is my priority at all times."

Getting his career going really turned Yusuke into a noble—and understandably greedy—dude. Next, he'll give up the tyrannical grip he has on Kosei.

Ryuji reached for a fist-bump across the table. "That's real admirable, man." Yusuke softly met Ryuji's knuckles, then bowed before the whole group, sitting once the time of acceptance passed.

"Now… May we feast?"


Monday, 11/28

"Futaba, it's good to see you here." She flinched from her sitting spot against Kosei's outer wall just next to the gate. Sojiro dropped his cigarette and stepped on it.

Futaba stood up straight and brushed off her pants. "It's not so good to be here."

"Well, that's okay. You're nervous," Ren said. You'll get more comfortable the more we walk around, okay?"

Futaba's face scrunched up, but she didn't protest.

She also didn't agree. Maybe this isn't such a good idea.

"It'll go great," Sojiro said, putting his hand on Futaba's shoulder. "The kid's pretty fond of this place, and he's the most critical person I know. It can't be half-bad in there, can it?"

"I don't know…"

"Let's find out, right?" Ren offered his hand to Futaba. She stared back at it like a dog that one couldn't figure out was safe to pet or not.

"Okay."


"This is our computer lab," Yusuke said, waving his arm in an open doorway. The room was empty except for the two rows of desktops that surely didn't fulfill Futaba's tech needs. He moved on quickly, though. "Those are our in-person support workers—they're very helpful if you have any issues with Kosei-related tech." Where he pointed was a desk with three skinny, quiet-looking students, all of whom were doing something other than tech support: book reading, homework, phone games, etc. "Although, they do not actually possess the knowledge to help; they are middlemen to an online solution."

Yusuke had carved time out of his busy schedule for Futaba's tour at Ren's request and spared no expense when it came to showing off the campus, taking Futaba everywhere he could from the basement to the roof. Ren followed, adding more student-oriented context because Yusuke couldn't—he was far removed from a student's perspective.

They passed by classrooms, staying outside for some brief observations from Yusuke. Futaba could peek through the window as much as she wanted, but opening the door, entering, and enduring the lecture from the back of the classroom was forbidden.

Self-forbidden, actually. Yusuke invited her into several of the classrooms when he popped in to greet faculty; she turned him down each time. Waiting for Yusuke wasn't so bad. Ren was good company.

"What've you been up to lately, Ren?" she asked when Yusuke slipped into yet another classroom.

"I hired a thirteen-year-old to elevate my mom-jokes."

"Wow..."

"What about you? Did you play the new First Reality remake yet?"

"Nah. I've been a reading kick for the past week. Who woulda thought that books have the best world-building?"

"What book?"

"Canopy. It's about a family and their quest for jungle power. It's got giant lizards, and—"

"Oh, yeah! I just watched the adaptation with Makoto… Can I borrow it when you're done?"

"There's a renter's fee."

Yusuke emerged and the tour resumed, meandering outside to the tall trees and dense shrubbery. Kosei was well-gardened by the look of it. Not that I care, Futaba thought, I won't be going here to go on walks. Part of her resented her thoughts. Normal people went on walks, why couldn't she think like them?

Through the garden they went, Yusuke occasionally stopping to pick and smell his favorite flowers. He discarded them over the shoulder as if they never meant a thing to him. Ren frowned at this but didn't speak up. Yusuke left the destructive path when they started hearing voices. Not whispering critics, but inspirational motivators.

"That is why we must fight! We need to show the bond between us!" a voice declared through the unmistakable static filter of a megaphone. "What do we want? A union! When do we want it? Now!"

"As you can see, we allow our students to engage with politics at every level on campus; a distinction not many schools can make."

Futaba eyed the crowd, all of them yelling and bustling around in a distant corner of the garden. The megaphone-using student could be seen on an elevated platform, emphasizing their words by throwing themselves into the speech.

"What's the union for?"

"Let us ask—I'm sure it is righteous."

Yusuke strayed from the two, and Futaba held back because Ren didn't follow. She knew Yusuke well, but his behavior on his own campus could be unpredictable; best to stay with Ren and play it safe in case Yusuke incited a riot against his own administration.

"Do you wanna bet on what the union is for?"

"Painters," Ren said.

"Ugh, painters? We're at an art school—that's a boring answer."

"And what would you bet on, honorable answer judge Sakura-sama?"

"Well, they got a good turnout, mostly artsy kids… I'd have to guess that they want to form a student union."

"Don't they already have one?"

"How should I know? I'm the one on the tour!"

"Noted."

They watched Yusuke step to the edge of the crowd, pull an enthusiastic student from it, and speak beneath the mass of noise. He got his answers quick—he made it back to Ren and Futaba within a minute of getting the student's attention.

"They're forming a gardening union."

"Gardening? I didn't know you guys have a club!" Ren's joyous reaction was punctuated by an arm around Yusuke's indifferent shoulder. "Man, this place never ceases to amaze me. What an awesome job you've done he—"

"We did not have a gardening club until Gardeners Raging Against Veganism Yearly came."

"Wait—"

"Yes. It is a union of Kosei students that have joined GRAVY."

"Are you kidding me?! I have to deal with labor issues?!"

"Oh, no. Likely, they have no qualms about the work. It's more so an act of friendship; union."

"I hate this place," Ren said.

"I dunno." Futaba punched him in the shoulder. "They've got some good ideas. You're a pretty oppressive boss, Ren. When are my comrades getting raises?" She punched him again, harder because of her laughter growing reckless. "Actually, when are we getting salaries at all you damn union-buster?!"

Ren rubbed his arm. "Don't call me that."

"So you support the GRAVY member union?"

"No, I—agh, I don't know. I want to figure out why there are so many people first."

"The club has become quite popular since your arrival," Yusuke said. "A third of Kosei students have become affiliated in some way."

"How? Why? Do I want to know?"

"I think you'll find it quite wholesome." Yusuke turned around, beckoning for them to follow. The tour was back on. "Come with me, please."

They left their view of the crowd, walking along the edge of the campus beneath the shade of the wall. Not like it's covering us from much—it's cloudy all the time now. I wish I went out more while it was still sunny… Futaba thought.

There were windows to peek in as they walked past. It felt a bit rude to watch students in their most vulnerable state—note-taking—so Futaba averted her eyes. Mostly.

"I must ask that you afford our students some privacy, Futaba. They work too hard for tourists to observe them."

"Wha—hey! I was not observing, and I'm definitely not a tourist!"

"You are here on a tour, and you were watching our students through the window. It is not a problem, just do not continue to do it."

Futaba grumbled; she couldn't object more than that. Kosei's nice and all, but I'd have to suck up to Yusuke if I went here… He's a friend, sure, but I'm the one who should be bossing him around. This flips our dynamic too much, she thought to herself, staring daggers at the back of Yusuke's blue head.

He stopped walking. He must've sensed the sharp, dangerous thoughts Futaba projected, ready to turn around and punch her in the face to preempt her assault on him. Surely, Yusuke could—

"We are here."

"Where?" Ren asked.

Yusuke waved his hand. "GRAVY's central base of operations at Kosei." When Futaba saw, she doubted Ren's vision because the sight was more obvious than the call to unionize.

Before them, in the corner of the Kosei's campus, there wasn't just a garden—it was an empire. Dozens of Kosei students weeded rows upon rows of garden beds, each with unique crops and labels before them. Futaba saw signs for tomatoes, carrots, and potatoes among many other things. Although the produce could not yet be seen, there was undoubtedly a massive amount of progress being made on the garden, with some students even laying down cobblestone paths between the beds.

"This is GRAVY?" Ren asked, his voice shaky and faint.

"Yes—they have an incredible membership rate for a new club. Administration and I are considering granting them a few hundred acres in the countryside for—"

"What?! It's a club, not a business, and it's a club for our friends! This… This is corporate!" That last word was delivered as if it was the end of the world, as if capitalist entities were Ren's worst fear for his creation.

Futaba, on the other hand, found her opinion of Kosei being swayed back to favorable. If I start my own club and get this many people working on it… The amount of money was unthinkable. Futaba had plans to lay if she were to attend Kosei, that was sure.

"Come. Let us talk to the manager and see how things are progressing."

"There are managers?" Ren groaned. "Jesus Christ…"

As Yusuke walked, he turned back to Ren. "It would be nice if he were a manager, but alas, his services are not ours to utilize." He gave a polite smile to the dumbfounded Ren, then quickened his pace. "Haru! How goes the industrial agriculture?!"

Haru, who stood at the center of the massive gardening field, was snapped out of pointing two gardeners in the right direction for some soil transplants. "Oh, um… I'm not sure. The expenditure reports won't arrive until this afternoon, but I'm working to minimize the—"

Yusuke held up his hand. "Do not fret—money is not an issue, so long as fun is being had." Yusuke spun around, raising his voice so that the legion of laborers could hear him. "Is fun being had?"

"Yes, Lord Kitagawa!"

Ren nudged Futaba. "This isn't right. This isn't what the club stands for."

"They're having fun, though. How's that wrong?" Futaba countered. She knew there was more than that, so she tapped Yusuke on the shoulder. "If it's a business, they're getting paid, right?"

Yusuke opened his mouth, but Haru spoke first. "Yes, they all have salaries. It's kind of worrying, though. That opens the door for a lot of legal issues."

"They are good-hearted and happy to help," Yusuke said. "I doubt that there will be negative consequences to amassing such a well-natured labor pool, and generously compensating them at that."

"I guess…" Haru turned, looking at a specific set of gardeners at a bed that was planned for fruits. "I'm still in shock at this… More and more people offered help, then I had to start assigning shifts because there were so many, then there were investors offering to pay for wages, and then I signed a distribution deal with the snack bar... I wonder how much more we can grow."

"GRAVY will be worldwide by next year at this rate," Yusuke said, putting his hand on Ren's shoulder. "It's a wonderful sight, isn't it?"

"I have to be going crazy. Come on—it's called GRAVY. It was never meant to be a serious thing!"

"Yet that is what it has become. If it is producing more organic food for the world and providing Kosei students with valuable experience in a comfortable working environment, not to mention their above-industry-standard salaries, what is the issue?"

"The issue—" Ren cut himself off, muttering curses under his breath. "The issue is that we've sold out!" He backed away from Yusuke and Haru but looked at Futaba, softening his anger and lowering his voice. "Look, uh… I hope the tour is going alright for you, but I can't be here for the rest of this. I'll be in my office—ugh—if you need anything, okay?"

Futaba nodded. Ren gave her a last lamenting look, the kind that wishes things went differently, then turned away, striding away from the mass of gardening Kosei students. Really? Ren cares about selling out? This isn't a hill worth dying on—scratch that. This anthill isn't worth dying on. GRAVY getting new members isn't anywhere close to a bad thing, but he's freaked out? It didn't make sense to Futaba, but it was Ren's choice to walk away, not hers.

"Futaba, I believe we've spent enough time here. Would you like to continue the tour?"

"Yeah, let's get going," she said, turning away from Ren so she could look up at Yusuke. "You guys have a secret basement lab where you're engineering biological weapons, right?"

"Ah, the Chimera Project?"

"I knew it! Take me there now!"


Wednesday, 11/30

Unions, offices, paperwork… I miss Shujin.

Kosei was an incredible place and a source of conflict with Ren, upsetting and amazing him at the same time. Shujin, as hore-shit as it often was, could at least be considered consistent. The ease of life at Kosei was foreign and uncomfortable to Ren; the approachability of the teachers was off-putting.

You're not at Kosei right now, you shouldn't be thinking about it. Focus on the curry, Ren.

His hand stirred the pot, feeling the heat of the steam that rose from it. Sojiro sipped some coffee at the countertop, his newspaper crumpled and disorganized from all the sifting he did to find the worthwhile stories. It was an average shift, a typical night at Leblanc.

The bell rang when the door opened.

"Welcome to Leblanc, how can I—oh…"

Akechi set his briefcase down and adjusted the cuff of his jacket. "Good evening, Ren. Will you join me for a cup of coffee?" Eye contact was beneath him.

The disrespect…

Ren looked to Sojiro, who set down his newspaper. "I'm going for a walk. Don't burn the place down." Whatever excuse Ren would have had to turn down Akechi left Leblanc with Sojiro, the older man leaving with his arms behind his back and a secret smile.

"I'll have the Special—brewed to perfection, please."

"No, that's okay." Ren waved to one of the booths where Sojiro hadn't left his stuff. "I don't think any coffee needs to be made."

"How rude."

"It's only fair when you show up unannounced."

"Am I so insufferable? Is what I am doing for you not enough—"

Ren left the counter, joining Akechi at the booth, but he didn't sit. Not yet. Not before he looked down on Akechi. "The problem is that you take your condescending attitude everywhere and expect everyone to bow before it. You insist on yourself knowing more than everyone, and think them stupid for not knowing."

With his gaze pointed downward, Ren somewhat understood why Akechi had to operate like that.

He's like Ozaki. He needs to be better, he has to be better. For him, a world where he isn't the smartest, most successful, is unlivable. A world where he has equals is his Hell.

"I've kept you as in-the-know as I can. Knowing too much would throw the plan out of order."

"Yet it has to be me who's involved, right?"

"Precisely. Ren Amamiya is the core of what will happen."

"Why?"

"Because you…" Akechi breathed deep, turning over his shoulder to look at Leblanc's glass door. No one was outside. "Because of your reason for being in Tokyo. Your case allows me to make a difference for this country."

"Oh, so your pretentiousness has been for the sake of making the world a better place?"

How lucky we are that Akechi will be our savior.

"If that is what will ease your opinion of me—yes. I have good intentions."

"Why tell me now?"

"We approach the end. I want you to know that your collaboration will be worth it." Akechi's hands folded atop the table. "Please, do whatever you will with you and your posse, but stay out of the important business."

"Akechi," Ren began, trying to find the words for his frustration. Ren's name was on calling cards—how could Akechi tell him to simply lie back and wait? "I'm in the position to get completely fucked over."

"You are, but you must have faith in me. It will seem this way until—"

"Tell me why. Give me a reason, or fucking something to believe you, to agree with you. Just something."

"I have had... dreams this past year."

A lot of fangirls are gonna be jealous if I'm the only one to ever hear about Akechi's hopes and dreams.

"Instructions. Revelations. They've directed me steadily thus far, and I don't plan to deviate any time soon."

As a master of hallucinations and believing in the immaterial, I'll call bullshit on this. Foresight is my thing, dude. Find a hobby for yourself.

"Sorry, I misspoke," Ren said, coughing into his sleeve. "Give me something real."

Again, Akechi checked the door. "We have a common enemy: Masayoshi Shido. Your collaboration ensures his downfall by my hand. Otherwise, the torrent of fraud he has built against you is unleashed."

"What fra—"

"The calling card, the murder case, your connections to each and every one of our infamous victims—it's a setup. If you let me work in peace, it will be erased. If not… The world will believe you to be The Prince, and your days will be spent in prison. No friends, no Makoto."

Ren felt the work he put into his demeanor fading. The friendliness he learned at Kosei, the care he took in not being an angry asshole all the time, was crumbling, and Akechi smiled as he watched. "Don't say her name," Ren said.

"Do I not have the right? I am helping you, as well as providing a reason for your help." Akechi's devious smile upset Ren more—the detective knew he was pressing the right buttons to piss him off. "You act as though your morals put you above me; as if you can never be wrong when around me. How dare you call me condescending—you've looked down on me all year." There was no smile, only the grave deadness that pervaded the darker conversations they had.

Ren reveled in it. "You don't understand shit."

"Neither do you." Akechi's voice slipped lower, crawling through a pit to hurl bile at Ren. "You frolic around the city with your happy little friends, indifferent to how the world is changing. You care about basic, material things… Video games, food, damned plants. I resent you for it, really."

"And I resent you for being a prick."

"You have no idea what is coming to you." Akechi started to laugh, his head shaking with each short release of breath. "You cannot fathom what—"

Akechi's anger kept him from checking the door, and Ren saw it too late. The shattering of glass disturbed them both, and the screams of drunken agony got them both out of their seats. Junpei, glass shards in his hands and face, and around his body, had walked through Leblanc's front door and fallen on his face.

"Fu... agh… WherumI?"

Sojiro's gonna kill me.

"It seems like your guardian needs care," Akechi said. He dusted his coat of any glass bits that caught it, then picked up his suitcase. "I'll take my leave. Remember your task, or lack of."

"Remember to fuck off sooner next time."


"That should be the last of it," Tae said as she pulled a thin shard from Junpei's forearm. "Some minor cuts; nothing that needs stitches, though."

Ren looked at Junpei, his guardian who could barely hold up his head. Embarrassment was shared by everyone in the doctor's office. "Thanks, Tae. How should… How can I repay you?"

"You have bigger things to worry about," Tae said, nodding to Ren's phone that buzzed with a call atop a cabinet. "This one's free."

"Thanks," Ren said hoarsely. He tried to smile at Tae, but she was already taking the tray of bloodied glass shards into the next room for discarding, too busy for sentiment unless it was hers.

We're distant these days. I mean, we were never close, mostly just making fun of each other (her having more ammunition than me), but I don't see her as often now, and I'm here for a serious reason. Not much room for her unrealistic flirting or me being a jackass. I guess I don't know how to communicate with her much otherwise.

Ren grabbed his phone and answered the call.

"Kid… I have no door."

"Sorry. Junpei walked through it."

"Agh…" Ren could hear Sojiro roll his eyes. Junpei was not a frequent customer, especially not for Ren's shifts, but Sojiro did know him well enough to understand the predicament. "You don't have to worry about it then. I'll take it up with the General when he's ready. How's he holding up?"

Ren looked at the weary Junpei that hunched over in his chair. Some blood specked his face and clothes, and there was concerning moisture around his cheeks and eyes. He hadn't said a word since the sobering event took away his liquid pain-killer, courage, and social ability. "He's doing well." Seeing the silent Junpei was troubling.

Iori's got a range of emotions. I've seen him depressed, upbeat, confused, and everything around those—he's always talking about it, though. This time… Nothing. Just staring at the floor. I've seen him cry, but this is worse. I don't feel embarrassed, I don't hate him… I feel bad. This year was supposed to be him looking out for me, and he's spent it letting his drinking get out of control.

"Well enough to put on the phone to discuss my door, or unwell enough to be left alone for a few days?"

"The latter."

"Gotcha. Take the rest of the night off, kid. The door isn't your problem to worry about, okay?"

Ren said goodbye, hung up, and sighed.

For a second, Sojiro had me worried. I know he's reasonable and a good boss, but I dunno… I just assumed that he would blame me no matter what. But I'll take the victories I can—the door isn't my problem.

A cold-sickened voice came from Junpei. "I'm real, real sorry, kid. Sorry as I've ever been."

This, however, will be worried about.

"I can't be sorry enough… Treating you like this and I can't even remember why… Just wanted to stop by your job and cheer you up…"

Ren tried to interrupt the wallowing. "Junpei."

"But it can't go right, it never will, because I can't stop drinking that shit… I can't spend a night without that stuff… I can't spend enough time sober to actually have a fucking life." His head didn't hang in the air because his hands found his face, smothering the tears and the choked breaths. "I never got past being that son-of-bitch that had too much to worry about too quick… And who the fuck can I blame for it?"

"There shouldn't be anyone to blame. It's not—"

"Of course there is… I spent a decade excusing my choices because I got one dead friend!"

He's gone too long without therapy.

"He ain't said a word to me since that morning and not a day passes where I don't think about him… So I drink to forget, but it doesn't do a thing except let me hide."

"That's not your fault, and there's still time for you to work at it. You can change, Junpei."

"That's what a year ago I said when I agreed to be your guardian…" Ren thought about the implication: he was meant to be the mechanism for Junpei's betterment. How miserable of a person had he been to contribute to the worsening of Junpei's drinking? "Then I couldn't get sober to pick you up, then I had you stashing booze, then I only guardian-ed once a month by fucking up your plans… I'm real, real fucking sorry, kid." He repeated his mantra until he wasn't even saying it to Ren, just letting it slip into the air and exist forever in memory.

The door opened. "Iori-san, your—oop… I'll give you two a moment." Tae closed it just as quick, and Junpei's wallowing didn't miss a beat.

"I'm a sorry excuse for a human, let alone an adult. I've been the same guy for the past fifteen years…"

Ren's mouth was dry. He tried to overturn the sick feeling in his stomach by swallowing and fixing his posture, but the more Junpei let out, the more it frightened Ren.

Fifteen years—I can't stand being the same person for more than a few months. I'm dreading the day I settle into myself, but isn't that what I'm chasing? A better version of myself to exist as? A successful version of myself?

They were imageless concepts, but they were certainly different from the defeated man sitting in a doctor's office, blood and dirt staining his clothes. Ren couldn't pity much longer—he needed to do more than listen.

"I'll help you."

"Ren," Junpei said for perhaps the first time all year, "there ain't a goddamn thing you, or anyone, can do for me. The time for that passed. I haven't held down a job in months, and I'm done asking old friends to support my habits… I don't want much anymore… Maybe just a—agh, I dunno what the fuck I'm saying…"

...How is my rent being paid then? Better question, how is his rent being paid?

"You don't need to want anything. You realize that your drinking is self-destructive? Then you know that it has to change. Wasn't Yusuke helping you?"

"Yeah, but he's a busy kid. I can barely get a hold of him."

Comparatively, I'm probably busier than Yusuke. He just paints and teleports around his school all day, right?

"I'm less busy. Let me help you." Junpei didn't agree; he sighed. "Take a few days to think about it, okay? Just worry about getting home tonight and getting some decent sleep. Tomorrow, you won't feel as shitty."

Junpei finally raised his head, staring Ren in the eye with his bloodshot whites, teary skin under them. The bandage across the bridge of his nose made him look younger than he was, but it was the worst Ren had seen from his guardian and the strongest memory he would have of the man since that first day in Tokyo. Once a drunkard, always a drunkard; unless Junpei could snap out of it once and for all.

"Ren," he breathed. "This is the first real conversation we've ever had, so I want you to realize something."

"What's that?"

"I wouldn't count on me for a damn thing."