Red Hood and Company – My Life as an Outlaw –
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Chapter 8: Bubbly Bubbly – He's So Not Your Type
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Gag chapter, off of (Dj Aku song; Suggest) and it made me laugh to think "Why not have Dami try to sneak into an all exclusive club to "find" someone that – it's not who you think….anyway….here we go!
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The Underground was a seedy, but popular destination and night club that was ranked second to Gotham's Ice Pick Club downtown.
Dami was not going in there. No – way, uh uh.
"I have to Todd! You can't leave me un –
"Ah, can't you just drag the guy's ass out?" I ask Artemis as she shrugs paces a bit while thiking over my question. "He's not in any real danger, but…it's not easy to tell him to leave his post….i sort of, told him to 'not" stay put."
"Well, then he has to follow orders and leave, this is ridiculous!" Dami tossed up his arms and groaned. "Is this partner not familiar with how that location could tear him apart should he not -
"He'll be fine, it's the other guy I came here with that I can't stand." Artie crossed her arms and pouted. "About a week ago, I was in this city and he wouldn't stop trying to one up my hits. I had to lose him and he just left me alone, but my hunch is that he is trying to coerce my partner into joining him. It is…. infuriating!"
"What? So, you want me to convince him to ditch the drag and –
"YES!" Artie's eyes watered as if this were her kid brother. Dude, like, I had ten! TEN kids to worry about trying to hunt me down – not including the Titans.
"Should we send Todd into the den and act as back up, I can play dead if you are so inclined to let me." Snorted the youngest jerk to ever live – actually, it was me. No brainer.
"It's easy to infiltrate…but hard to leave." Artie seethed through her teeth as Dami raised the brow. I needed to get this over with. While we were sitting ducks, there had to be some way to just find an opening. "I'll go, but Dami is under your watch or so help me –
"You told me I have a job and room; there is no way I'd be steering you wrong, Todd!"
"Yeah, Todd." Dami sneered. "Have fun doing the worm. I'll make sure to address the Batman that you died actively in the line of duty goofing off with some miscreants in a nightclub in HIS city."
"You…" I swallow down the insult. "We'll be back up in time to get you your five star supper, majesty. Artie even promised to cook tonight…." Dami cringes as Artie points at herself, confused by the gesture. "Me?"
"All yours, I won't even put locks on the silverware." I grin and dip away with them to the street where a locked door means we are in for one hell of a shindig.
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The steps are messed up, covered in a slippery gloss so wax, I guess? (Not dirty! It's more introductory. So wait!)
The bouncer lets Hood off as his get up is just black with an eye patch and a code word that somehow, Artie knew. Really was a club and the tanks in the room? The caged up dancers?
Electrified right before my eyes.
They aren't though, it's a meta ring and this is why Artie is here. She's here to get that cash flow and stop anything – wait. No, she's an exiled warrior on the lamb. I suddenly get the chills as I see one guy I didn't want to push today.
"Real swell dragging their asses. Why can't I buy this dump, Tito?"
"The boss was sure he'd already told you, Mr. Sionas." The stoodge Tito looks panicked. A fight could break out any time Sionas gets hungry to get his cut. I walk away while keeping my eye on things. Seating myself by the bar, I look and see the back of a tall bartend. He is …not human from my eyes – or is it the flashing neon and dance music pounding in my head?
"Do you not want to have anything to drink, new comer? I have seen you before. Where are you not from?"
I have questions, but it could be a J –
Scratch that, so I open my trap. The last thing I need is years of therapy erased with that freak's presence on the brain. Fuck that.
If only there was a reason to slap the dude next to me. That would make me feel a ton better about my predicament, yet…alas.
"He's not having a shot, and I'm not taking one either. Too, too strong, no?"
My mind is hit, sharply, as I see beside me the red head that never should – or should have walked into this fucking place.
"What. The hell."
Roy Harper, a.k.a , my big bro's fucking competition.
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"Howd' it go on the lamb so far, Jay bird?" Roy takes one shot then his hand goes up no sooner by the glass on the table; it spells out a ton of things I'd rather not relate to him being in this bar with me.
"Dunno yet, I'm letting it all sink in before – What the fuck is this??" I see him get three more, nad my bill had better not get puked on my this…this…throwaway toss – up of a rogue gallery! Eye, eye! He's such a baby, but at least Ollie didn't slap a warning label on the archer. I see from the corner of my eye the red head that was not invited, and I don't even try to bolt. He's already got Artie coming over. Where is the kid??
"Art! You know him?" Roy raises an eye to me from under his scowl and mind you, he's the Robin type to calculate as he goes on drinking ten more shots on the table. However, Artie is twisting her eyes around and trying to tell me something while she confronts the bozo with a slight disinterest in his question.
"I'm having fun. Why? Are you here to cuff me for being of legal age? I drink, I drop it like it's –
"Ok! Look, she's with me, Roy." I stand up and go to her, her hand by her side is craftily pointing for where Dami ran by and she'd only come this way to find him…
Some baby sitter. Who was the pro here? Not us, fer sure.
"Ah, you two hooked up? That's not odd now a days, whatever floats it."
"How is the cat creature you said broke your heart, huh?" I sniff and turn. His glass cracks in his hand as the bartend turns and gives a great big roar before he has to crack the whip on the people here. Us, no contest.
"HEY!! YOU CAN DO THAT HERE; I AM NOT IN CHARGE OF STATION TO BAR; YOU WON'T GET TO TALK TO MY BOSS IF THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU ARE ASKING??"
One dude who skips the records is as blown as me by the bartends backwards speech. "WHAT??"
"I DIDN'T SAY….THATR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T FIGHT WON'T NOT GET TOSSED OUT. THIS IS AN ESTABLISHMENT FOR FIGHTING!"
"Is this guy fer real here? Tito! Grab the punks and get um the –
The tension already hit that mark as grinning, Artie pulls me to the floor and we duck. "Time to go."
The shit that is about to go on, has Roy groaning in my face as we evade chairs going topside into faces – flesh and bloody knuckles putting Black Mask's posse to shame. All by the power of words that were spoken, backwards. My freakin' god. I see the bartend take to the back entrance and I knew he'd planned it. But, wait! Dami!
"I gotta go find my little brother."
"Let me stay too." Artie says. "Roy, you and Bizarro are not to come inside. It coul –
"HEY, BRATS!!" Frazzled, Sionas is looking at whoever is behind the chaos. The walls are to shit with food and bloodstains, the tables are upside down -oh, he was betting on buying it out….and…
I gulp. "Get out. Now –
" Aha!" The crazy fucker! Doesn't he stay dead and burried??
" Ahah….sorry about the club –
Sionas snaps at me, so I don't try to put my ass in any real danger until I know how to get out.
"Shut up and get your asses over here…wait…." He rubbed his chin and I knew he was not looking at Roy or me. "Lady, you fucking ruined my plans for the last –
She lets her fist hit the guy who has me, then trips Sionas till he's screaming for his men to find us and cut us the fuck away from the rest of reality. Fuck! She has enemies??
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"Todd, I found –
Dami turns around and sees a man in a red jacket and black shades. He throws a hand over the boy's lips and Dami kicks. "Time to get you out of here. You're the brat Red H steals around with, right?"
Dami doesn't try to fight, but something gets him interested as Todd is nowhere to be seen. He just hopes his hunch is right as a hatch is opened quickly and the two end up on the street outside a set of neon signs and a fist fight between two drinking buddies.
"He's not, ok?? Roy, is he not safe?"
"I am….and you?" Dami is let go of and then he remembers a teenager beside the famous Green Arrow. The resemblance could be coincidence. Jason scurries up and Roy nods. "You got a ride outta here, Jace?"
Jason pants, the damned thugs are out of range long enough to catch his breath. "No…you got a chauffeur that you can dial up, ding dong?"
"No." Roy frowns, scoffing and having not spoken about Ollie practically disowning him for a bad rep on the streets again. His profile should be clean, but it's not. "Roof hopping it is then, friends. Quit standing around." Artie and Dami are already looking for a spot to run off to. Roy and Jason exchange glances before puffing after them.
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We get purely a few blocks from the fighing, and I so do want answers. What was Roy doing with a Bizarro clone, and I nice one that speaks in tongues?? In reverse??
What was Artie doing with them both, is my biggest question.
"Explain."
Shit, he asked me first?? Show off. So, I do the honors.
"Artie is my teammate slash roomie, and this is my kid bro and protégé. We are, on our own. No B to boss me around. You?"
"On my own since Ollie can be a total dick whenever I try to open up. He's a big baby, so I quit. Moved on."
"Who is he then?" Dami pointed his finger to Bizarro, who shrugs and tries to get his words out. "I…am not ally of Artemis. She and I did not come here to find work, but we did not. I didn't but she didn't. It is not complicated."
Roy snorted and tried to get that grin off his face long enough to explain the behemoth's condition. "He speaks in "opposite," not backwards. If you say "I love you," to him it is "I hate your guts."
"You do not??" grinned the big blue skinned giant from Cadmus and Supes' DNA. He was a clone, but this nut took the whole package. Wow. Amanda was dense while I was away.
"So, you don't have – uh, you have a place to stay?" I took it upon myself to take this new talk out for a spin. "I am…. not sad that I have to stay, but Artie wasn't kind to me. She was, not supportive and that does not mean the world to me."
"Aww…I hate your guts too, big guy!"
"Stop this nonsense and have us away from this madness at once, Todd!" Dami growls at me, but Bizarro growls back and points a finger. "He did not just not stop you from living?? Did he give you reason to be not in danger!"
"Your vocabulary does NOT need work." Dami spat and Artie at last had to put her foot down. "He's not an issue, he got us out and Roy got the thing he came for. Isn't that why you snuck in? To get Sionas under your boot, Archer?"
"It's Arsenal, now. And no. I got it. Mostly. Until the kid nearly kicked my teeth in."
Dami was inwardly grinning and I felt like a very bad caretaker only should. More like a bad cavity. Big brother of the year still goes to…Dick – face??
Man, I hate losing my head but he started it. "Hey. That's enough out of you. All of us have a reason to be complaining and maybe we can put our…you know, differences aside to talk about this."
"Poser." Roy sniffed and me and put his hands in his pockets. He's walking out?? Really? "Wait! You are after that guy, but he's got our faces. Won't that be –
"Prosthetics work even in the rain these days." The red headed male takes out a cigarette and lights it, there being a lot that changed while they had all forgotten about me. "Do yourself a favor and forget you even came after us. Come on, Bizzi –
"Yes." The goliath has Dami gawking.
"Traitor!"
"Hush." Artie snaps quickly. "Big blue guy? Are you not sure you don't want to go with him? Why did you tell me this?"
"I was going to let it not go until I wasn't ready. But I have not changed my mind. I am not with you, Artemis." He grinned at Artie and she hugged him. Roy just huffed and puffed the cig, throwing it under his boot and shuffling in the opposite direction down the street. "See ya later, posers."
Bizarro looks almost regretful as Artie coaxed him before, I can tell how close he is. "How did you two meet… exactly?" Damian crooks his head and tries to picture a relationship between warrior and mutant figure of Superman. It doesn't hit a high not for him at all.
"He looks like his family is there for him, so happy…. but his heart is not in the place it couldn't be. He doesn't need a friend." Frowned the giant, making me feel like a total piece of cow pie in the road. "Yeah, but how can you get through to that, Bizzi?"
I wonder that too, as we walk to the subway and out of this side of the city born with so many histories.
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When Dick was still Robin and came to see me before…well, before I fucked up, he talked about this guy he really had grinding his gears whenever they got together. So, could he be on our team to get out of his own head and into our headspace? Artie was busy showing the shortie over there her moved while he did a pretty good job at imitating them. Bizarro, was trying to think on his own about how to cook tonight's meal as a think you. But when he came through that door, Dami did almost lose his shit.
~ HE'S GOING TO BREAK THE DOORWAY APART! TODD! This is a terrible idea… why did …~
And so on, I sigh. Taking a drag, you'd think asking Dick about Roy would be a big taboo, but I think I can handle that punch in the face just fine. I toss my cog to the ground and watch it cinder off, before getting my ass back inside to see to…well, my new dysfunctional fam and eventually, a crew of my very own. I can be happy; today, just once I saw Sionas slip and fall on his stony face. It was a fun day and I hope to have more just like this one.
Maybe, but maybe…. letting Roy outta might sights is a killer way to end the night.
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They're meeting again, but there is more to it. Find out! Next chapter is Ready for Combat; side chapter of what Slade and Rose are doing back in Dami's crib. Find out. Mind the lingo, up now and still fuzzy because of the rain today. Not a great thing on post gi trauma. I miss the snow….
