TW mild suicidal ideation.

xXx

Percy cracked his eyes open and yawned in contentment. He felt rested. Refreshed.

And that… was the first real clue that something had gone very wrong. Refreshed from what? Not many things could un-refresh him these days. He frowned.

Wait… had he been… asleep? As in, asleep asleep? As in unconscious asleep? That realization forced his eyes open wide. Yes. He'd been asleep and he'd just woken up. Refreshed. Which hadn't happened even back when he could sleep. His frown deepened into worry as he tried to find an explanation, subconsciously tapping into old instincts he hadn't needed to use in… a long time. When was the last time he'd actually woken up after not being at least somewhat aware? Not since…

Wait!

He gasped and shot up into a sitting position, looking around frantically. His eyes widened even further as he saw his bed; his room; his house. From when he'd been a child. He knew for a fact this building hadn't survived WWIII. So unless someone was drawing this directly from his memories…

He took a deep, calming breath, and had to cough. No, this couldn't be a strange godly dream, not with that smell. He wrinkled his nose, then pinched it closed. Yeah. Gabe. He didn't think he could forget that scent, no matter how much he wished he could. It was an unpleasant, difficult to reproduce reminder of… his past…

But… that in turn meant…

On instinct, Percy tried to condense water molecules in the air, and his heart rate spiked again. That… took far more effort than it should. It hadn't even been more difficult than barely a thought for… he couldn't even remember the last time he'd struggled. Gritting his teeth, he put all his will behind the effort, and nearly blacked out. He backed off on his efforts a little and the spots around the edge of his vision slowly retreated. He'd just have to be patient, he supposed. Take a little more time. Not something he'd ever been good at, but… He needed to make sure.

After what felt like hours, but was likely only two or three minutes, he had a piece of ice sharp and stable enough to do what he needed. He pricked his thumb with it… and stared.

Red.

Which meant…

No.

No, it couldn't be.

Could it?

The longer he blinked at his thumb and the blood beading on his skin, the lower his jaw dropped. And it was blood, not an illusion. Not only had he felt pain, he could sense the liquid—could sense all the liquid around him like normal… but only in his immediate vicinity. Nowhere else. Only one point of view, here and now, in this room, his body wasn't falling apart as it tended to when he freaked out and he wasn't even sure he could change states at the moment… And had he mentioned that he was bleeding blood?!

He took a deep, shaky breath and willed the blood back beneath his skin. That… took a fair amount of effort too. Which just shook him more. He swallowed. There were likely other scenarios than the one that crossed his mind that would explain this, but the simplest solution was the most likely… no matter how implausible.

No, he needed to think before he jumped to conclusions. Figure it out. Calm down, Seaweed Brain, he practically heard Annabeth say in his head. Think. What had happened? The fact that he couldn't immediately remember just added to his shock and confusion. It felt like trudging through sludge or mud… just, mentally. He forged on anyway.

One of the Athena kids, Min-Ji, had been working on… something. He remembered her explaining it to him excitedly, but… it was fuzzy. (Okay, that was scarier every time he realized it.) Something had gone wrong, he thought. Yes. He'd needed to protect them—the other kids there, watching and training. So he had. But… then something… had happened to him? That seemed right, but… how? And what he remembered couldn't do… this. Could it?

No, he didn't think so. But then… how? Kronos?

No. That wasn't… Kronos wouldn't…

Would he?

Could he?

But in the scenario he did, that brought up so many more questions that didn't have answers, each making the entire situation less likely.

He couldn't dismiss it completely. It was still a possibility, but Kronos was angry and bitter and still in pieces in Tartarus… or had been… would be? Should be… (Huh. Figuring out tenses would get annoying. Wait, did that mean he had dyslexia again? No, he'd figure that out later. Focus.) Why would the Titan waste precious power to reach out for something like this?

Hmm. He'd need more information before he came to a conclusion.

Maybe Chronus then? The Primordial, not the Titan… Although that made just about as much sense as Kronos, to be honest, if for different reasons. Chronus hated getting involved with… well, anyone. He rarely even spoke to other Protogenoi, and had never given mortals the time of day. Pun totally intended.

(His humor was a coping mechanism, okay? Shut up, Annabeth. You too, Grover. Nico! Darn it, Triton!)

Taking more calming breaths, Percy melted the ice and coated his thumb in the water. It healed the small puncture wound easily and quickly. Okay, he'd have to test it out, but he was pretty sure he had access to all of his original, basic powers. Which meant he'd either just awoken his powers in this body, or he'd always had his powers at his beck and call.

He suspected the former. Having the memories of a future immortal dumped in a young demigod's head could certainly do that. Awakening one's powers usually happened when a monster attacked or when a life-or-death situation forced a demigod to use what powers they had, or when they found out who they were. But those weren't the only ways. He, of all people, knew that.

Though that begged the question, how old was he now? And he still didn't know what exactly was going on. Human machines rarely worked on immortals, but that still made more sense than either Kronos or Chronus. And yet…

Time travel? Through science alone? No powers involved…?

(And what did that say about the Greek pantheon that it still made more sense than Chronus caring about anything that actually happened with the gods and mortals or Kronos recovering from being a psychopath?)

Shaking his head, he put that thought aside to think on more once he figured out exactly when he was and his current situation.

Okay, so plan? Get more information. Nodding, he flipped his blankets off of his legs, swinging them over the side of the bed.

Where he promptly fell with a surprised yelp and thump.

His feet hadn't hit the ground when they should have and he overbalanced. That wouldn't have happened in the future, even if he'd taken on a smaller form. To be fair, his (rather loud) tumble hadn't hurt, but the surprise in and of itself added to the surrealness of the situation. No wonder Apollo complained about returning to mortality. Percy had always rolled his eyes at his cousin's antics, but maybe there was some merit to his complaints? Well, Percy may admit that if the sun god would stop complaining in Haiku. His free verse was much better. Not that Percy would tell him that.

Ever.

Percy thumping unexpectedly to the floor, face inches away from old beer bottles (so he hadn't cleaned his room out for the summer yet, good to know) also seemed to bring the fact home: he was truly mortal again… and probably back in time somehow. Which meant, this had all been in his memories. Well, not this this, but having this body and this level of access to his powers. So why did it feel so foreign? He'd tried to hold onto his mortal mind-set after he'd ascended, and he thought he'd been fairly successful before, but now…? How much had he given up after all? What a sobering thought. He'd always suspected, but hadn't wanted to admit it. To have his fears confirmed… kind of hurt. Or, no, it made him feel ashamed. Even guilty. Which he knew was ridiculous because it wasn't like he'd chosen to ascend.

"Stop it," he hissed to himself. "You did the best you could." He had to hold back a wry snort. If only he could believe that.

Taking a deep breath, he checked to see if his body had fallen apart out of habit, only to realize, once again, that he didn't have to hold himself together anymore. It hadn't really taken more than a thought to hold a form in the future, but he could get used to having a solid base state again. It felt good. Like he didn't have to guard himself anymore, even if it hadn't been difficult. Which meant his constant awareness of that possibility had probably been more mentally taxing than he'd realized. Huh. Good to know.

Just to help drive it home, he thought over everything again. He was back in time, and a demigod again, which meant he didn't have immediate access to the whole of his powers, and using said powers would tire him out. He knew that but it had been so long, the concept felt strange. Even after experiencing it. Especially after experiencing it.

Then he sucked in a breath as something else occurred to him. He'd always had an issue with his temper, but… if he got emotional, it wouldn't endanger people anymore. Not like it had in the future. Between his connection to tectonic plates and deep-sea pressure, he'd had to watch himself very, very closely, especially around mortals. But now… no earthquakes with an accidental thought. People wouldn't just disintegrate into some random liquid, or die from too much pressure on their lungs, or have to worry about his purely destructive abilities…

He… he could get used to that, but… this would still take some getting used to.

Hope and frustration battled inside him, beginning to give him a headache. The smell of Gabe on the carpet didn't help. His state now drove home why he'd turned godhood down when offered. Once again, resentment bubbled in his gut at the thought. He really hadn't wanted it, but it had happened anyway. He'd always envied Frank. Frank, who was too powerful, too. Frank who'd been destined to stay mortal, so he'd had a piece of wood that would burst into flame whenever he used too much power. But no one had ever given anything like that to Percy. And why? Because it wasn't his fate.

He may or may not have told the Moirai where to shove that information once they'd told him, half hoping they'd cut his string anyway for his sheer disrespect. They could.

They hadn't.

They'd told him they wouldn't.

Actually they'd told him that keeping him as he was would be a far worse punishment for his words than killing him ever could be.

He hated that they were right.

But…

If his fate was to ascend, then why was he here? Now? Again…

Could he die?

He kind of hated himself for that thought, too. More so contemplating it, but… he had the chance. A chance to be with his friends in Elysium. A chance to—

"Percy?" His mother's voice accompanied a knock on the door and his breath froze in his chest. How long had it been since he'd heard her? So long. Too long.

"M-mom?" he asked. And oh, his voice shook. Immortal voices didn't shake. Right?

"I heard a thump and a shout. Are you okay?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but a muted voice from the other room called out first.

"Leave the kid alone. He's fine. Come back to bed. It's your day off."

Percy's teeth clenched and he forced himself onto his hands and knees. Right. He knew that voice. That disgusting pig of a man who…

No, calm. Keeping his temper wasn't a habit he wanted to get out of, first of all, and he may not be able to wipe out towns and cities at the moment, but that didn't mean he couldn't cause some serious damage, second of all. Besides, he had other things to focus on. Like getting control over his body again. He didn't think it would take long, he just had to adjust to the fact that it wouldn't be instantaneous like it should have been. Like his brain was expecting.

Just another lesson to learn, as he told the campers. Or as Chiron told the campers and Percy had adopted the saying because he agreed. He needed to practice what he preached, after all.

Which probably included, 'Fight to Live. Your life is important to someone, even if it's just me.' Which meant he needed to get rid of the thoughts about trying to end himself, no matter his regrets. His death would destroy his mom, and he wasn't sure he would get into Elysium at the moment anyway. As far as the underworld should know, he hadn't done anything yet.

"Um… Mom?" he managed to get out.

She opened the door and peeked in, eyes so worried. Just seeing her again… he wanted to melt a little. Or a lot. If he'd seen her like that in the future, he'd be a puddle on the floor. The fact that he wasn't…. Well, he wouldn't complain.

"Honey? Did you fall out of bed?" she asked, coming into the room.

Percy heard Gabe curse quietly and his eyes narrowed involuntarily. Then he took several deep breaths again, making sure to count each one. Calm.

It turned out the sea could be restrained, but only by itself. It just had to have the motivation. Like his former fatal flaw… Or was it his current flaw?

No. Later.

(At least that confirmed he had ADHD again. And no ability to split his consciousness to help curtail that. Yippee.)

"Percy?" his mother asked, squatting down next to him, drawing him back to the moment. His breath caught in his throat once again as she reached a hand out, laying it on his cheek. "Oh, baby… you're so pale. What's wrong?"

How long had it been since someone asked him how he was out of sheer worry for him? Not out of a formality or small talk… Triton would. Even Amphitrite. Maybe Thalia and his father… but he just didn't see them as often as he'd like. And… it was too much. It was all too much. He couldn't help it. He threw himself into her arms, clutching her robe tightly. It wasn't as soft as what he was used to—what he could conjure himself—but that just made it more real. He could still smell Gabe on her (ugh), but he could also smell the sugar from her time at Sweet on America. He could smell the shampoo she liked to use, the cheap laundry detergent…

Nothing could smell better at that moment.

"Percy, baby… what's wrong?" she asked, worriedly, running a hand through his hair.

"Mom…" he whispered, feeling tears come to his eyes. He didn't bother trying to hold them back. "Mom I… I've… I…" He didn't really know where to start.

She sighed and clutched him tighter. "Why don't we go get some hot cocoa? I have blue marshmallows."

He half sobbed, half laughed. This felt so wrong… and so right at the same time.

"Yeah. I'd like that."

"Sally!" Gabe called from the other room, voice commanding.

Percy felt her tense.

"I have to take Percy to the hospital!" she called back, winking at him as she injected worry into her tone, completely opposite to the annoyance on her face.

"What?! No! We don't have the money!"

A lie. He had insurance, and Percy was on it. His mother had made sure. He remembered her complaining about the changes in laws making it difficult to get good coverage 'anymore', but this should be before that. She'd been pregnant when he remembered her talking about that, so at some point in the future? Just before Estelle?

He really hated that he didn't have his eidetic memory anymore. Mostly eidetic? Godly… yeah, that worked.

"Get ready," she whispered to him.

He nodded as she stood. Without her there, he felt cold.

Then again, he always had.

"Our insurance will cover him," she said loudly, confirming Percy's knowledge as she walked out.

"No! The brat's fine!"

"Percy's not a brat, Gabe, honey," his mom said sweetly.

"Sally," the disgusting man warned.

He continued, but Percy had to tune them out after that, or he'd do something reckless… like stop the man's heart.

Which… he could probably still do, he realized. Even from where he knelt, he could sense the blood inside Gabe's body, which meant he could probably control it if he wanted. That brought him up short as questions raced through his mind. If he could do that now, had he always been able to do that? How? Why? In the future, he'd confirmed that he hadn't gotten that particular power from his father, who had thoughtfully admitted that he probably could control something like human blood if he wanted to, but he'd never needed to, so he hadn't, and it shouldn't have been passed on to his children. They'd always assumed it had been Tartarus forcing him to survive and adapt. That it had been Ahklys—

Sighing, he cut that thought off. It still wasn't something he liked to think about, even after all this time. He'd spoken about it, with Annabeth even (and hadn't that been an uncomfortable conversation) but it still made him feel guilty and distracted, and he couldn't afford a distraction at the moment. He had to figure out what was going on. Then he could make better decisions and he'd have time to think about other things.

Annabeth and her siblings had really rubbed off on him, it seemed. Even after… everything, he'd tended to lean on the Athena cabin, though none of them had been as bright as her in his opinion. He may be biased because…

He paused for a moment as the thought sunk in. Annabeth. He scrambled for the ring he kept on a necklace under his shirt and found… nothing. That hurt. So much. He felt like he'd been socked in the gut. But… he'd be seeing her again! His breath caught in his throat and excitement pulsed through his stomach. As soon as he went to camp, he'd see her! When would he be going? He still didn't know how old he was. He wanted to go now, but if it was too early…

Yet another thing he found strange. He was used to just knowing his age. Immortals only tended to forget their age when they wanted to, or when they were fading. Or both. One often led to the other.

His thoughts drifted back to Annabeth. His wife. Except… His smile faded. No, this… this wouldn't be his Annabeth. This would be a little girl. A little girl who still wanted to prove herself to her mother. A little girl who longed to go on a quest. A little girl who wouldn't know him.

His motions of pulling out a shirt slowed and stopped as he realized. None of his friends would know him. Yes, they were alive at the moment, and he'd choose that over his relationship with them any day, but… that didn't stop it from hurting.

And maybe he'd finally learned a little selfishness as an immortal. The only surprising thing about that was that it had taken him three centuries.

He'd still choose loyalty though. It would just hurt more. Then again, did that mean he embodied his domain more or less with that in mind? Wait… was that even still his domain?

"Yes, dear. I'll make sure to make my bean dip when we get back," he heard his mother say from her bedroom, drawing him out of his thoughts. He shook his head and focused back on the task at hand, getting dressed. One thing he did regret was how he couldn't just change his clothes with a thought anymore. That had been nice.

Then something else occurred to him. He didn't have a mer-form anymore. Or any of his alternate forms, really. That would limit—

No.

Focus.

Here and now. He could deal with everything else later.

He concentrated on his movements as he forcibly stripped his pajamas off and shoved the clean shirt he'd grabbed over his head. Then he searched for a pair of pants. Most of them had been too small (because he'd grown into and then out of them) or too large (so he could grow into them in the future), and honestly, he didn't want to deal with the former. He needed comfortable right now.

He almost fell over again when he tried to shove his legs into the pants he finally chose. Sue him, he hadn't actually had to do that in three centuries. Funny, he hadn't thought getting dressed would be a skill that could get rusty.

"Percy? Are you ready?" Sally asked from the kitchen. "Please hurry. We'll have to take public transportation."

Of course Smelly Gabe wouldn't actually let them take his car to the hospital. The man really should count it a blessing if he survived the day. Even after all this time, it seemed he still knew how to unconsciously push all of Percy's buttons. That was kind of impressive, actually. Disgusting, but impressive.

"Yeah, coming," he called out, his voice hoarse. At least he remembered how to tie shoelaces. It still took him way too long to get his shoes and socks situated, though. He'd never take the ability to change his appearance with a thought for granted again.

Although, with how he'd vowed to not lose sight of mortality, he suspected that would be a lie if he had to ascend again.

Yeah. He'd think about that later, too. Much later if he had his way (if ever).

Stumbling out of the room, he got to the kitchen in time to see his mother pull out the blue marshmallows and wink at him.

"Get your coat. If you're not feeling well, you need to bundle up."

He rolled his eyes fondly at her fussing. Wasn't it summer? Even now, he was at least partially immune to temperature changes, too. Then again, she didn't know that…

And he was going to tell her everything.

Funny how he hadn't even really contemplated not telling her. Even now, the thought almost seemed foreign. To be fair, he'd really like to tell Triton too, but as of right now… It hurt to think that his brother, and one of his closest friends, thought so poorly of him at the moment.

His mother pushing his coat into his space brought him out of his melancholic musings.

"Percy, you're worrying me," she said quietly, studying him with her soft, blue eyes filled to the brim with concern. The nostalgia that struck him at that moment almost took his breath away, and he could only study her for several seconds, determined to commit this moment to memory. Just in case…

"I'll explain everything, Mom," he whispered as he took the coat and pulled it on. "Let's go."

She nodded and led the way out of the apartment.

He almost tripped down the stairs and she had to support him as he got his bearings again. That wouldn't have happened if the elevator had been working. Or if he'd been able to teleport them.

He actually had to talk her out of following through with taking him to the hospital after that. Which… fair.

He sighed. This was wonderful. It really was. But it also sucked.

A lot.

xXx

They took the first bus they could get on for a couple of stops, then wandered around a bit before finding an out-of-the-way restaurant where they ordered breakfast and hot chocolate, without cream of course, so they could fill it with the marshmallows they'd brought.

Then they sat at a corner table to wait for the rest of their food.

Huh. He couldn't just eat ambrosia anymore. He'd have to remember that.

"Percy, what's going on?" his mother asked once they'd sat there for a couple of seconds in silence.

He sighed. This… would not be easy.

"First, I need you to know that I am and always will be your son."

She paled. He winced. She thought she knew where this was going—that he'd discovered his status as a demigod somehow. He hated that what he had to tell her went so far beyond that.

"What I mean is that I am Perseus Achilles Jackson. I am your son—was born your son."

She put a hand to her mouth and looked away.

He took a deep breath. "Mom… I don't know how to tell you this, but… I'm from the future."

She blinked, her shocked gaze snapping back to him instantly. He almost snickered at her dumbfounded expression. Almost. It really wasn't that funny when he thought about it.

Had he replaced young Percy? He hoped not. But then, what had happened to his younger self? He'd have to look into that.

"Bet you didn't expect that," he finally said after a very long silence.

"No…" she said slowly.

He snorted and took a drink of the hot chocolate. Huh. Not bad. He ate human food more often than a lot of other immortals, but maybe he should do so even more?

Fo.

Cus.

Now.

He put a hand to his head. "Going back to ADHD and dyslexia—" he'd checked— "sucks."

More staring.

Right. He needed to actually explain.

(He blamed the mind-set. It was an immortal thing to not tell people everything and let them figure things out on their own because it stuck more.)

"Yes, I know who my father is," he began. "Yes, I know all about the Olympians and Camp Half-Blood and… more." He wasn't quite sure how to address his future immortality. There was so much and so little to say all at once.

Gods didn't really feel overwhelmed. Demigods did. He certainly felt overwhelmed now.

That was something he could have done without.

"More?" she asked slowly, carefully. He almost snorted. Of course she'd catch onto the one thing he was having difficulty with.

After a moment of not finding the words to break it gently, he fell back on his old ways and brute-forced his way through it.

"Yeah. Um… more because I come from three hundred years in the future, give or take a couple of decades." Her mouth didn't drop open, but Percy could tell it was a near thing. "Mom… Dad hasn't had a mortal child as powerful as me in… well, a long time. You see I—"

A hissing sound drew both of their attention and they both turned just in time to see a dracanae burst through the door from the staff room. She searched the dining area eagerly. Percy felt his eyes narrow and he reached out to the mist. Like the water molecules, it didn't react as easily as he would have liked, but he managed to twist it to a point where most mortals shouldn't even notice them speaking.

His mother did, though. Of course. She gasped.

Then the monster's eyes fell on him. "What's this?" she asked, slitted eyes fixed on him and forked tongue licking the air. "A little demigod all ready for me to devour."

His mother gasped again, hand reaching for her butter knife. Even if they all knew that wouldn't actually do anything, he still appreciated the thought.

He shot her a smile before standing and addressing the dracanae. "You can walk out now, or I'll send you back to Tartarus. Your choice."

She laughed. "With what weapon, little one? You have no divine metal on you. I can tell."

Huh. Good to know some dracanae could do that.

He smiled back, perhaps a little sharply. Annabeth had told him his teeth tended to get a little sharper when he wanted to threaten or intimidate. That was before he'd ascended. In the future he came from, he may have gone full-on shark mouth in a similar situation, but for now, this would be enough.

"I don't need a weapon."

Reaching out to the water he'd been gathering, he jerked it forward. The spike of water from behind her solidified enough to shoot straight through her heart. Her eyes flew wide and she gasped out one last breath before exploding into sulfur dust. In the middle of a dining room full of patrons that didn't even notice.

Percy almost blacked out, but with a moment to recover, he managed to stay awake. Snorting, he shook his head (ignoring the fading dizziness) and sat back down as calmly as he could, pausing once he noticed his mother's expression. She stared at him like she'd never seen him before. Three hundred years, and she could still make him feel self-conscious.

"Uh… sorry about the interruption?" What else could he apologize for?

Sally just shook her head. "No, I'm glad you took care of the monster, it's just…"

"A lot?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. "You… really reminded me of your father there for a moment." Percy winced at the tone of her voice, both concerned and wistful. He'd be lying if he didn't say some part of him had always wanted his parents to be together. What child in a split-custody situation didn't? But he also knew as well as she did that it would never—could never happen. That didn't stop it from being obvious that she longed for a time when she'd been loved and appreciated by her partner. He'd have to find a way to introduce her to Paul early. Or maybe just make sure it happened on time. Because he was going to change things if he could. It was him. He couldn't do nothing. It would go against his very being. And he didn't want to change that. But he wanted his mother to be happy.

He preferred to think of himself as her son over his fathers. He loved and appreciated his dad, he did, but he wished more people would think of him as Sally's son than Poseidon's. Hearing her compare them… He sighed.

"Y-yeah. I can see why you might think that."

"Percy…" she whispered, reaching a hand out to rest over his on the table. He turned his hand over and clutched at hers.

"The fates said there was no way around it," he explained. "That I was always destined for it—even if I didn't want it.

"Mom… I ascended. In my future… I was a god."

xXx

* I was going to put some Korean words in here because I think he'd use them if he'd been there for as long as he has. However, it wasn't working, so it got taken out. Also, why Korea? Mainly because A. I'd like to see North Korea get better and B. while South Korea has it's issues, it's a very innovative country that I can see the Heart of the West moving to. There were any number of countries to choose from, but that's the one it happened to be. *shrug* No hate to other nations. Promise.

Also, for those of you who would like to get updates but ffnet is being dumb for you too (I know I've reported it, but it's NEVER fixed no matter what I do), I'm also posting this on AO3 under the same name.

Thanks to my Beta Readers: Berix, The Shadow Slayer, Asterius Daemon, Quathis, and the Chronomancer!

Discord: discord. gg/xDDz3gqWfy (no spaces)