"Fuckin' asshat." Zaku flies through the trees, supported only by the occasional branch. He keeps steadily shunting Chakra through his legs to go ever quicker, paying no heed to the expense to his system. When he beats his team leader's time, he's definitely going to rub it in.

The first person Zaku comes across is a kindly elderly lady. Picking herbs and berries on the outskirts of a break in the trees. Zaku breaks into a sly smirk, he after all had come upon his target speedily.

The young ninja crouches low on the ground, being careful not to disturb the foliage. He could grab her and make a break for it, and what she had could fill his stomache! Before he has the opportunity to close in on his target Zaku suddenly feels a quick prick to the side of his neck before losing consciousness.

He awakens up a mere ten minutes later, groggily but nonetheless pissed and confused. He, the face of foolhardy belligerence, is tied to a tree and a tall man with fine cropped black hair faces the teen. He had the half-lidded lazy expression of a long-time pro, but was fat with an obvious belly protruding from his middle. He wasn't wearing a hitai-ate either.

His first instinct, while in hindsight would be a dumb move, was to spit in this guy's face. Yet the loogie didn't even reach the guy's shoes as all his muscles, even his damned mouth felt loose and weak! The second thought, which was more of a promise to learn a Wind Jutsu well enough that he could use without hand signs.

"Well, you certainly happen to be one unlucky little ninja."

Zaku didn't say a word. Anything he says could put his team in danger.

"Where're you from sport?"

The teenager's reply, "from nunna yo business, jerk off."

The stranger smiled in response, "well, good that you aren't a temporary mute from the toxin. You aren't alone, so please don't mind if I use you as a bargaining chip."

Zaku was going to say something to put this guy in his place. But then he only saw the man form a single hand sign before Zaku lost consciousness yet again.

-xxx-

"He could merely be taking his sweet time, correct?"

"Yes, he could, but he would be taking over an hour by now," I check Dosu's stopwatch. "There is something off about this. I doubt he would naturally have spent more than fifteen minutes over your own time. Call it gut instinct."

"But if there is someone out there, what would they even target Zaku for?"

"Let's say missing ninja, he had the appearance of a target due to his disheveled appearance-"

"OK! OK! We can go! I still think he could handle it. But what about the-"

"We have to leave the captives as is. Dosu, we have to go."

A rustling of leaves causes me to jump and Dosu to quickly get into a defensive position. A rabbit leaps out and scurries away from a fox, which pounces for the kill.

I strap on my senbon launcher. "Please lead the way, captain."

He huffs but doesn't argue further, then leaps in the direction Zaku went off. I struggle to keep pace but he makes frequent stops. My compatriot points out a random broken branch which causes him to completely change directions.

It feels like we are aimlessly going in circles before we come upon a picturesque little clearing. And Zaku was passed out and tied to a tree only 30 meters ahead of us! I attempt to run into the glade but Dosu places a hand on my shoulder.

"He isn't alone. There might be a visual Genjutsu or someone could be hiding. Zaku is obvious bait."

He casts his glance at me.

"Any suggestions, Genjutsu-user?"

Well... assuming that whoever set up the bait didn't kill Zaku.

"If we break it, whoever it is now where we are. We should use a clone and see if it will draw them out of hiding."

Dosu hums with agreement, "the goal is to make sure we recover Zaku no matter to th-"

An older man with black hair flickers into existence. leaning against the single tree in the clearing.

"C'mon kids, hide and seek is over."

I snap my gaze to Dosu for the next action we should take. He doesn't make eye contact with me, instead he is intently studying the situation for a tense few seconds. Then he jumps down out of our tree.

I hesitate before following him. The man chuckles before starting, "my wife was right, you two do look strange. That hair is a bit of a hack job, don't you think?"

Wife? He's treating this situation too casually. So he either completely outclasses both of us or thinks he does. He certainly outclasses me if he can take Zaku down.

"Who are you?" I ask, Dosu is unmoving next to me. Zaku is still inert across from us. The man stands up straight.

"Before I answer that, how about you introduce yourselves first? I wasn't able to get much out of your little friend here." He draws out a kunai, "wasn't too impressed. I can tell if you lie, by the way, I have a strong earth affinity and can feel you vibrate with every heartbeat."

I begin to feel a deep seething anger bloom in my chest, hot and acrid. "I'm Kin. Who are you?"

"Dosu." My compatriot grunts out.

"Kiyotaka, I own the inn with my wife Megumi. I do believe you were a guest. Did you find the accommodations comfortable?"

We remained silent.

"Now, what business did you have with my wife, and why was your little friend here trying to jump old lady Ayame?" He crosses the few steps to be next to Zaku, never taking his eyes off us, and palms the kunai to his throat.

"I'd be careful about what you say. Wouldn't want me to slip, out of surprise of course! Don't worry, he isn't quite dead." Even though that revelation should be relieving, a sense of dread starts to press on me. I press back with my inner fire. The asshole in front of me lifts an eyebrow.

"Oh? Running into such a young Genjutsu-user... that makes me all fuzzy and nostalgic."

Dosu cuts him off. "We went to your wife's inn for lodging. Nothing more, of this I can assure you without duplicity. As for our intentions with the old woman... well, we aren't planning on killing her or anything."

'Speak for yourself, Sensei would probably make me gut the little kids and have me thank him for the favor.'

"Keep talking." His grip tightens when I take a step forward. I back off.

"...we are foriegn ninja tasked with acquiring a sample of the homeless population in this area. It was never our intention to capture an actual resident of this land."

"Where are you from?"

At that Dosu looks to me for guidance... well, apparently our village is a secret. I give an answer.

"We can't say, but we are from around Rice Country."

A pause, then, "you wouldn't happen to have an affiliation with Earth... would you?"

Dosu drops his shoulders, relaxing slightly, "no. We are not dirt ninja."

The man barks out a laugh at that, causing me to flinch and shoot a senbon into a nearby tree accidentally.

"I see. Well, I may have overreacted slightly, then. You must understand that ninja are a difficult sort to trust." He cuts Zaku loose in a single swipe, who ragdolls to the ground with a thump. I wince, hoping his neck would be fine.

The man picks up Zaku. "I will have to insist on checking over your samples. Then you both can have your little friend back."

That's... pretty darn risky to be putting it lightly. If Sensei catches us being coerced by another ninja... I nudge Dosu but he responds only with, "I know. It'll be fine. We'll have time."

I could only hope the last day will let us capture more appropriate victims.

-xxx-

We arrive back where the captives are stashed. Kiyotaka carting Zaku with his lazy pace. The man decides to let us keep most of the targets, even the children to my personal shock.

"I hope you understand, if I find evidence of you stepping foot in my inn again, well, I'll just say it won't be fun for you."

But Kiyotaka did take one of the men Dosu had captured with him, the older ninja prattling out something about the man being a drunk not a drifter. The inn keeper's husband bid us a quiet farewell with a gentle dropping of Zaku and dashing away.

I scramble over to my teammate. He's breathing, a steady rise-and-fall of his chest evident as I observe closely. I check his pulse by touching his neck... it's weak... I'd guess...

'Fuck me. I shouldn't have skipped out on my first aid classes.'

I look to the horizon, the mixed treeline mostly obscuring the sun. "We would have to set up camp soon... and Sensei could show up anytime tomorrow. And we don't quite reach our mission parameters... at least I think Zaku is stable."

Dosu hunches over the supine boy. He gives a small hum and gestures for me to take his hand. I, well, the gesture is uncharacteristic of the normally... Dosu-like behavior.

'Maybe I have him pegged wrongly.'

"Let's go, Kin, we can gather who we need before nightful."

I take his offer, being hoisted up by his weight swiftly.

Dosu shuffles through his pack, pulling out a scroll, brush, and ink. He takes a kneeling position before he makes neat, type-face perfect characters for Zaku's benefit, "in case he wakes up. We don't want to deal with a panicked monkey boy right now."

My laugh is half hearted and weary. This week has been a rollercoaster. "You don't think we could break for dinner before heading out?"

Dosu immediately answers, "I don't see why not."

We eat rations as quickly as we could before dashing out into the forest again. The dimming sunlight being our guide on the pathless forest. The forest begins to look familiar to me, not exactly what I would call a home but a quality of calm.

Before long we come upon a tent, open to the night air, a sprawled out woman smoking a cigarette inside.

-xxx-

A/N: There will be fight scenes later (yes- plural!), but I couldn't think of a plausible way for the kids to win here that wouldn't feel like a 1% shot or the enemy being really incompetent.