When I awaken to the soft chirping of birds Dosu isn't anywhere to be seen, and Zaku is still passed out on the patch of soft earth. I close my eyes and take a heavy breath.

'This is really the worst camping trip ever... if just one more thing goes wrong.'

I sigh. I take out my flask to drink but find it empty. So I crawl from my sleeping mat to go to the nearby stream, from which I take a handful of water to quench my parched throat.

'Hope I don't die of dysentery.'

The water tastes clean and slightly sulphuric, but dehydration is something I would rather not deal with today. I eat some rations and gulp down more of the river water. I feed some rations and water to the captives. The young man who struggled in his bindings spitting in my face for the trouble. Without much else to do I decide to practice my treewalking on actual trees.

After what must have been a couple hours according to the slowly rising angle of the sun Dosu returns.

"Oh." I slide down the tree by not letting my Chakra cycle release from the tree fully. "Where were you?"

He sags and turns to Zaku's supine form and completely ignores my question, "he hasn't woken up yet?"

"No. He's still breathing at least." I cross my arms over my chest. "Where were you?" I repeat my question.

He regards me with his one visible eye. "Trying to find the last target." He shrugs, "couldn't find anyone."

"Or Kiyotaka decided to warn them all off."

Dosu murmurs something noncommittal before going back to staring at Zaku. Dosu asks a quiet question, "he'll have to wake up sometime, right?"

I walk over to him and place my hand on his shoulder. He rolls his shoulders so that my hand falls away.

"Even if he doesn't, Sensei will be able to help. He knows those medical techniques. But... I am mostly worried about him beating on us."

"Yeah, Sensei does have that temper." The boy sits down next to his teammate and cards his left hand through Zaku's knotted hair. "He was my first friend, you know?"

The kid looks so vulnerable right now, as if he would break down any minute. "I was supposed to be the leader, but I let my people down." He draws his arms over his knees in a defensive posture. I sit down next to him.

"I don't think it is entirely your fault." Dosu remains silent.

"You never had an example to follow, so of course you wouldn't know how to do what you need to do. Sensei, well, he isn't a very good leader, I think."

"Abandoning three teenagers in the woods like this? That's just irresponsible." I give him a lopsided smile, "you can't take all the blame, Dosu, even if you made some mistakes."

His single eye narrows, "I'm not asking to shift blame here. I am the leader, it was up to me-"

"I'm not shifting blame. You can blame yourself all you want, but from my perspective you did the best you could with what you had. So there!"

He doesn't say anything to that. Dosu shifts his gaze back to Zaku. "Do you think Sensei would understand?" He asks in a whisper.

"Dosu. You are the favorite student, or maybe the one he dislikes least. If he is going to be lenient on anyone here, it's going to be you."

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better."

"Still, it's the truth of it."

Dosu and I sit quietly together until before noon. Then Sensei finally arrives. Sensei has a train of ragged homeless people. As soon as he sees Zaku on the ground next to us he drags his hand down his face and groans.

"I see it was entirely a mistake to assume that you could handle yourselves without my supervision."

Dosu and I rise from the ground but stay silent.

He is silent as he ties his prisoners to the surrounding trees. But a sense of irritation is palpably emanating from him. After his work is done he kneels over Zaku and his hands glow with that pale green light.

He is fast in his diagnosis, "the paralytic he was administered should have worn off by now. He needs motivation, that is all."

Sensei rifles through his pack and pulls out a small paper capsule. "It is ammonium carbonate, or more colloquially known as smelling salts." He breaks the paper in half under his nose which causes Zaku to jump up immediately and paws at his nose.

"What the fuck!?" He sneezes.

"Welcome back from the land of nod, little troglodyte."

Zaku stiffens at the words and scrambles to his feet. He fixes his gaze to the ground.

"So. What did you do to land yourself in this position, little sheep?" Sensei regards me with his half-lidded gaze.

'Guess I gotta explain.' I pinch the bridge of my nose then explain the exciting story, beginning with us staying at the inn. By the end of my explanation of events Sensei looks like he wants to murder me.

"This is not the kind of mess I like to clean up." He spits out, "you are so unsatisfactory it almost is comical. You do realize we have to tie up loose ends right?"

Dosu speaks, "what do you propose, Sensei?"

"We are going to pay a visit to this Kiyotaka. We are going to kill everyone in that inn, and we are going to bring him back with us."

That's... confusing. I wouldn't think he would want to kill them all. Sensei answers my unasked question.

"We are going to frame him, and we are going to present him as a gift to our esteemed Orochimaru. His seismic sense is a very rare ability that could prove a useful piece to his plans. Once he is re-trained, of course."

"As well," he continues. "You revealed too much information about the location of our hidden village. That location being secret is of the highest importance to the plan."

-xxx-

Sensei insisted on attacking at the dead of night with the moon high in the sky. As we draw ever nearer Sensei takes his time checking the foliage and road for any seals that might alert the missing-nin.

"A key mistake many shinobi and kunoichi make is not learning even the basics of how to make a seal. One does not need to become a seal master. Only become proficient in a storage seal and a way to relay information at a distance." Sensei sneers. "I would have expected better from you, Dosu. You were very lucky this man is incompetent. We will be learning the basics when we return."

Dosu takes the comment like a punch to the gut by audibly wincing. Sensei doesn't comment.

As we come upon the inn only a single light is lit. It's where the dining area would be.

"If that invisibility technique is the one I am thinking about then he will have to step slowly or he will shimmer. You will strike first, Kin. Lead him out with a Genjutsu. I need a clear shot if I am to incapacitate and not kill."

That, well, it makes me nervous. If Sensei is too slow I...

I gulp. "Yes, sir."

He nods. "Zaku, Dosu, you both will go into the house and bring out any person staying at this quaint hovel. Do not kill."

Zaku and Dosu nod in unison.

"Go."

-xxx-

I sit in the dining room with the kunai that I hid from my wife. Those kids probably had a Sensei, so if I killed them...

But now they know where I live.

I extend my senses out, my wife is sleeping in our room, the two guests are each in their room. Ugh, one of them is 'having fun' with himself. I cut off my sense by retracting the Chakra I infused through the building. "I'll have to wash that bedding tomorrow. Eugh."

The Earth military was fun and I was respected. My orders... the terrorist cell... we destroyed a lot of the farms in the Northern half of Fire. Megumi was a radiant girl, I couldn't help my heart. I got in so much trouble for refusing to destroy her family farm.

I chuckle softly.

I wanted to take her with me to Earth when I was done with my deployment. I asked her so many times to leave for Earth, but she always would give me that small smile and tell me, "why not follow me? I think we'd be happier."

She was right of course. She is right.

She would always hide my Hitai-ate after I spent the night with her. She claimed that she just wanted to clean up my "ratty headband", but I knew she was hoping I would forget about it.

She convinced me to elope on a beautiful and romantic night. We were in the forest near her home when she gave me that ultimatum. I was carrying her as she clung to my chest.

"It's me, or the Tsuchikage. You can't love us both."

She saved me from being deployed against the Yellow Flash. One thousand men and women were cut down in an instant. The Earth military lost nearly all the sensors, and three entire clans. Only one other seismic sensor survives in Earth as he was never deployed, and he developed a mysterious disease that randomly causes him to lose focus on his Chakra.

Megumi wanted to travel and she chose this country for us. We didn't have much money, so I had to run odd jobs and she had to sell candy on the roadside. Eventually, though, we bought this run down old building and fixed it up.

It was all so much fun.

I sigh.

These kids weren't the first ninja we served, but they were the youngest. I served Earth ninja even, but there was no one old enough to remember my face, of course. All of my comrades died that day.

My heart clenches in my chest at the thought.

This country has made me soft.

The old me wouldn't have hesitated to kill the children. It would have been the proper course, but if Megumi found out... that sad face would be too much for me. The foolish naivete of a civilian.

But I love her because of that view.

I begin to feel hot and unsettled so I jump up. Extending my Chakra sense out... the guy finished and is sleeping in his mess, gross. My beautiful wife is sleeping, the other guy as well. I extend my sense outside... no one. Wait!

I narrow my eyes and disrupt my Chakra flow. Instantly, I feel more calm. The little bitch wants to party it seems.

Padding to my door I open it to see nothing out of the ordinary in my immediate field of view. I know where she is though, so I walk to my window to see the teenager leaning against the building.

"That wasn't very nice, little girl."

-xxx-

Kiyotaka catches me red handed pretty much immediately after I feel my technique cut out. He makes a single hand sign then disappears immediately after saying something I didn't quite catch.

I run across the open field in an attempt to make the treeline. But a single kunai pierces my back and causes me to stumble and fall forward. As I struggle to right myself on the ground I see my teammates slip into the inn out of the corner of my vision.

'Why am I the distraction!?'

Sensei still hasn't made a move to help me, so he's probably getting his joll-

I see a brief shimmer before being kicked in the stomach which causes me to curl into myself. The pain blooms and before I can so much as cough another swift kick to my face has me seeing stars.

As I clutch at my now bleeding face a hand grabs my throat and squee-

'AIR. I NEED AIR.'

I try to pry the hands off by scratching and kicking but it is to no avail.

'I can't die. PLEASE! ANYONE!'

I try to scream but the crushing grip stops any sound from escaping my lips.

A blissful breath of air fills my lungs moments later as Sensei has the invisible man trapped in his arms. I'm sure it's a mighty battle but I am too focused on air sweet, sweet air.

We all gathered in the entryway after I was able to stumble again.

By the end of the fighting we had a knocked out missing nin, and three hostages to dispose. At least that was Sensei's opinion on the matter.

"We have to make it look like the man snapped... hmm." Sensei walks over to the man's wife and immediately starts to punch her face. The sweet lady looks so terrified and helpless. I feel my soul die a little inside at her treatment.

"Kin, right now is a good time as any other. Finish her off so we can be on our way." He tosses the lady at my feet then he starts his own bloody work on the two men.

He wants me to...

"There's no-"

"Finish that sentence and see what happens," Sensei sends me a dirty glance before hacking away at the other poor man.

I gulp then take out one of the kunai and grip it tightly in my hand. The kindly woman looks me straight in the eyes and mouths, "no."

I can't help the tears that start to gather in my eyes as I lean down to her neck. I want to say 'I'm sorry,' but the words get stuck in my mouth as if full to the brim with cotton. I place the sharp edge to her neck and hear a squeal sharp and short right before I feel warm blood splatter my face.

I drop my kunai as if it burns then run away.

I run all the way past the quaint garden and to the forest. Before I break the treeline, however, a person catches me by my arm. I panic and start to lash out by kicking and swinging wildly at the assailant but I'm swiftly pinned to the ground.

"Kin, come one now. It's not so bad after the first time, no need to be a drama queen."

I hear Dosu's voice but it doesn't register as a person I'm familiar. It sounds like static as the tears start to fall and my body quakes.

Dosu releases me and I stay curled on the ground. He huffs before stating, "Sensei needs our help. Can't you do this at a better time?"

I freeze at that statement. I can't say what I'm dying to: 'I don't even belong here! This is all some cosmic folly! I am a modern man trapped in a girl's body and I don't. I don't...'

"I don't- I don't want to be a ninja." I manage to stammer out.

"It's a little late for that decision Kin, would you rather be a missing ninja like our Kiyotaka?"

-xxx-

A/N: The only excuse for the late upload is that this is a screwy world.