The party was just getting started, so Trea got mugs and Murphy a pitcher of beer and found a bench in the shade to sit and talk about the short term. Trea confirmed she would be in Polis a while longer, perhaps half a year while she learned more about treating respiratory illnesses before going home to Rosvires. (Tres Rivieres) He wanted to get away to Azgeda now. They left it there, and she told him about her family. He reciprocated with a little about the Ark. It seemed like forever ago.

When the beer was gone, they went to find more and something to eat, either holding hands or with linked arms as they walked. They got to the town center as the band started. Trea wanted to dance.

"I don't" he started, but she pulled him along and he tried to keep up.

He caught a glimpse of Clarke and Lexa dancing too, and was happy Clarke let herself have fun. He hadn't seen Raven since last night. She and Luna were still talking when he left soon after Clarke and Lexa. Trea caught his chin and brought her face back toward hers and he got the message.

They ate and drank and danced and Trea helped him skirt the people who recognized him and wanted to congratulate him. When the music slowed, they danced more. He saw Clarke and Lexa again, kissing as they swayed, and closed his eyes for a moment. He looked down. Trea was looking at him, and he kissed her, giving her time to refuse. She didn't.

When they left the party, they went to the Azgeda guesthouse and squeezed, dressed, into Trea's bed. Murphy slept well but woke alone. He sighed and got his boots on. When he opened the door to leave, Trea was there with a tray.

100 – 100 – 100

The Natblida were hanging around Raven's workshop when she showed up to get tools for her trip, and the next thing she knew, they had the rover loaded and were strapped in. Raven didn't think Lexa wanted them today, and there were guards where she was going so they should be safe. She didn't know Lexa asked them to do this before turning them loose for the feast, but Raven was glad they were there. They were distracting, full of questions, and needed a lot of attention, giving her something to think about other than Ontari.

She turned the music up and the kids made a godawful racket trying to sing along while Raven drove as fast as she safely could. She spotted Sas in his seat beside Aden, who reached out to make sure his harness held every time they hit a big bump.

They reached Arkadia at mid morning. The guards weren't expecting them, but recognized the rover and Raven, and the watch leader called everyone posted there to duty when the Natblida spilled out every one of the rover's exits.

Before she went to her workshop, Raven greeted the guards, some who were there the last time by name, and explained why they were there. "We'll make a couple trips today, and then I'll be back to work. Help me keep an eye on them, OK?"

It wasn't necessary. The Natblida followed Raven like ducklings. Sas was almost always at the head of the line, Aden in the rear making sure there were no stragglers. In her workshop, she started filling crates. There was more gear than she had storage units and the rover filled quickly, so she ran them back to Polis.

While guards unloaded the crates and carried them to her workshop, Raven made sure everyone got lunch. She sent them on a search for more crates. They came back with as many as they could carry, enough for two or three trips.

"You guys are awesome! Bring as many as fit in the rover and we'll leave the rest here for next time."

They made another trip that day, returning a couple hours before dinner. Raven thanked them all and sent them on their way. She would leave a note for Clarke telling her how good the kids were. She didn't talk to Sas, unsure whether it was her place to tell him that even though he was only ten, his future had been decided.

She didn't stay for dinner. Instead, she went to the Tower kitchen and got some food to take along. She didn't think she could sleep in the Tower again tonight and would settle for one of Arkadia's shitty beds.

100 – 100 – 100

When Clarke began to talk, Lexa almost wished she hadn't and wondered why Clarke was doing this. She wanted to stop her and at the same time, Clarke needed to get it out.

"Did you know there's only six of us left? There were 101 aboard when we were launched because Bellamy got on even though he wasn't supposed to. Two died when we landed.

"The first person I killed was this guy Atom. He got caught out in the acid fog and I slit his throat. It was horrible. I was still thinking I was a healer," Clarke scoffed.

"I lost count after him how many we killed, how many I helped kill, and the Mountain." Clarke looked down and shook her head sorrowfully. "All those kids and their parents didn't have anything to do with what the Wallaces and that Tsing bitch were doing. They were collateral damage, like Tondisi, and I'm the one who killed them all.

"Now I did it again. I don't know how many this time either and I'm so mad and you put this thing in me that made me have to do it." Clarke sighed.

Lexa waited, giving Clarke the opportunity to continue.

"I don't see any good ending," Clarke said. "If things are going well, they won't want me to surrender the Flame in 10 or 12 years, and if they don't I'll have bigger problems. Plus I made some decisions that aren't gonna be popular."

"This is the best time to do it," Lexa said while she tried to formulate a response to everything Clarke told her.

Clarke shrugged. "You want to start there?"

"No, but I do not know what to say. We cannot change the past."

Clarke inhaled and exhaled slowly. She didn't want to be mad at Lexa. She knew there was no other choice, but it still sucked. "Want to know what we're doing first?"

"Sha."

"Tomorrow, I want you to summon the rest of the kru leaders to Polis. I'll tell Mom her part tonight so she can prepare. When they're all here, while I tell them how things are going change, the messengers will ride for the Wasteland."

"Why?"

"Did you know Nomads came to fight for Heda?"

"No, but it does happen occasionally."

"It's gonna happen more than occasionally. I'm telling them to come to Polis. I bet the ones who come will swear loyalty. Mom can probably help a lot of them. They're just like the rest of us. It isn't their fault they got a gene mutation. Nobody should live like that.

"So, whoever comes to Polis and is loyal can go where they please, and their families and krus will take them back. They won't be segregated or treated differently. That's bullshit and it's going to end now. There aren't enough people to throw that many away."

"Some of the Nomads were exiled for criminal behavior. They are branded."

"Exiled for what?"

"Banditry. Raiding. Thievery."

"Everybody gets a chance," Clarke said.

"The leaders will not like that."

"Ask me if I give a damn."

"What is the second?"

"Sas kom Podakru is going to be Raven's seken. He's going with her to the City of Light."

"She cannot bring Ontari back."

"She can and she will. Ontari kept the Coalition together for you with a lot of help. She would be the first to admit she was not ready to be heda. She was what, 20? That fucker doesn't get to take her. You know that when she has a choice, she's just gonna stick with Raven. There will never be a challenge from her, just like there will never be one from Luna."

"Clarke, you cannot allow this."

Clarke laughed then, hollow, her anger showing. "First, I don't allow Raven to do a damn thing. She's going regardless of whether anybody agrees. Sas is going with her. If there's something that needs to be done to make him her seken, get it done."

"Klark"

"No. Everybody wants Wanheda to be Heda, so here she is. Nothing is unreasonable except maybe Ontari and, again, nobody could stop Raven. They won't like being told to stop being a bunch of bigots, just like Lander didn't like being told he was a misogynistic asshole. Nobody likes being called on their shit, and again, I. Don't. Care.

"I have changed and changed and changed to accommodate everyone here. I don't have to do it anymore and I won't."

There was nothing for Lexa to say. Clarke's decisions were made and she wouldn't change them. Lexa bowed her head and said, "Sha, Heda."

Clarke went rigid. It took several seconds for her to calm herself again. "I asked you not to do that."

"What else am I to say, Klark?"

Clarke got up and started walking upriver. She couldn't deal with Lexa's hypocrisy right now, seeing no difference between Lexa ordering the Coalition to accept Skaikru and her plan to bring the Nomads back into the fold.

Lexa caught up to her quickly.

Before she could say anything, Clarke said, "I need a few minutes." She didn't slow or turn to look at Lexa, but broke into a jog. She needed to compose herself before seeing Lexa again.

Lexa stood and watched Clarke slowly run away. She didn't understand Clarke's problem, only that every time she thought Clarke was back, she took off again. The things that bothered Clarke, Lexa didn't know how to help her with. It wasn't that she didn't understand because she did, but she had been taught from childhood that there was no point in dwelling on the past. Nothing could change it. All she could do was learn from her mistakes and move on. She didn't know how to get Clarke to do that.

Clarke grew smaller before staying the same size for several minutes. She finally began walking back toward Lexa. She felt calmer and didn't want to fight. Clarke stopped a foot from Lexa. "I didn't want to blindside you."

"Thank you." Lexa reached for Clarke's hand. "And the rest, we will work on. I want you to have peace, not just them."

Clarke tried to smile. "I'd like that."